Nose Jobs, Cabooseys, and Lebanese Beards – A Recap of Glee’s “Born this Way”

Welcome back to McKinley High, Willy Wonka Kurt!  Oh, how we missed your weird hats and increasingly bizarre wardrobe choices.  May you never be saddled with the ignominy of a school dress code EVER AGAIN!

After last week’s “meh” episode, I think many of us Glee fans were hoping that this week’s Gaga-inspired 90-minute extravaganza would pack enough of an emotional, feel-good, punch to make us forget that “Night of Neglect” ever aired.  And I’m proud to say, for this Gleek, at least, “Born this Way” delivered BIG TIME! 

From the slightly preachy (but still important) overarching theme of acceptance, to the variety of fun and well-produced musical numbers, to the genuinely heartfelt, character-driven moments, this was an episode that hit every single mark that “Night of Neglect” missed. 

So, what are we waiting for?  Grab a chair, put on that unflattering white t-shirt that exposes your deepest darkest insecurities, and let’s get on with the recap!

It’s Booty Camp Time!  (Sorry, Rachel’s Nose.)

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Warning:  Do NOT try this at home!

It’s almost time for Nationals.  And our Glee kids need to work on their dance moves!  This sounds like a job for Mister Schue’s Rump-Shakin’ Booty Camp!

Yep, Will definitely strikes me as one of those people, who always make weird facial expressions, when they dance.  . .

Unfortunately, for one Gleester that shall remain nameless . . .

And shirtless . . .

 The term “dancing” actually means “wobbling around Weeble-style, while flapping your arms impatiently, like a bird who’s too fat to fly.”

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This, of course, is SUPER embarrassing for Finn.  But it’s even more unfortunate for Rachel, who has the bad luck of dancing behind Finn at Booty Camp . . .

If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was laughing at Finn’s dancing . . .

Finn accompanies Rachel to the doctor, who confirms her biggest fear: Her nose is broken.  (Way to go, FINN!)  On the bright side, Doctor Schnoz says this would be a PERFECT opportunity for Rachel to get a nose job to fix her “deviated septum.”  (Isn’t that what they ALL say?)

Finn is completely against the idea of Rachel getting a nose job.  (Then again, he might just be afraid she will ask him to pay for it, since this is, after all, ALL HIS FAULT.)  Rachel, however, upon hearing that having the surgery might actually expand her vocal range, while making her more marketable as an actress, due to her “enhanced appearance,” seems open to the idea .  . .

I smell a Life Lesson approaching . . .

Puffy Pyramid Nipples (and other things we’d like to change about the Glee kids.)

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“Come on Finn!  Let me cop a feel!  My first girlfriend was in love with YOU, and my second one ended up being a lesbian.  You are pretty much my only hope of getting to Second Base, before I graduate.”

Rachel’s Nose Job Dilemma sparks controversy among the Glee kids.  (Riiight, because whether someone chooses to have cosmetic surgery, should TOTALLY be up to the members of their after-school club.)  Heading up Team Schnoz Keeper we have Mr. Schue, Puck, and, of course, Finn. 

 Batting for Team for Team Schnoz Chopper Upper are Mercedes (who believes that the thing that makes you different, is also the one that crushes your spirit) and Santana. 

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In classic Santana Style, the latter proceeds to detail all the things that, according to her, the other Glee kids SHOULD want to change about themselves . . .

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Santana Lopez:  Making people feel like crap, since 1994 . . .

You can always count on Sue Sylvester and Santana Lopez to fulfill Glee‘s weekly quota of Politically Incorrect / Slightly Racist / Definitely Prejudiced jokes.  But since Sue was “absent” this week, Santana got stuck doin the job, all by herself.  Fortunately, she got them all out of the way in a single scene.  Always one for efficiency (I expect she’s this way in bed, as well.  Right Brittany?), Santana potentially offends the entire Asian, Jewish, and “differently abled” population, by calling Tina out, for the shape of her eyes, Rachel, for the size of her nose, and the wheelchair-bound Artie, for the generally not “useful” nature of his legs.

But my favorite diss of all, just so happened to be the one directed at Finn . . . and his “Puffy Pyramid Nipples.”   But Santana didn’t just name Finn’s rare “nipular condition,” she went on to describe it in great detail.  “They look like they’re filled with custard. You could dust them with powdered sugar, and they could pass for some sort of dessert.”

*clears throat*

All this talk about dessert, must have made Trouty Mouth Bieber Wanna Be Sam very horny hungry, because he uses this as an opportunity to fondle Finn’s man boobs.  (See picture at the top of this section.) 

Sam Evans:  Inappropriately grabbing at other people’s nips since 1996.

Since we are already on the topic of equating food with sex . . .

Come on Baby, Pop Scrub my Cherry . . .

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Ever since LAST WEEK, when Will (1) got dumped by Gwyneth Paltrow; and (2) found out that Emma was single again AND had never consummated her marriage to Dr. Carl, he has CLEARLY been putting some serious effort into breaking the wrought iron padlock on Emma Pillsbury’s pantalones!  I mean, why ELSE would he spend multiple lunch hours SCRUBBING EMMA’S FRUIT FOR HER?

 “Rub my raspberries, Will, HARDER . . . HARDER!”

Alas, I think our Schue is starting to get a bit impatient with the virginal object of his affections.  And so, he broaches with Emma the subject of her getting laid professional help for her obsessive compulsive disorder.  Unfortunately, like most addicts, Emma is not quite willing to admit that she has a Sex Grape Washing Problem.  “I wasn’t born this way,” Emma explains, as if that changes ANYTHING!

But WAIT . . . maybe it DOES!

“The Glee kids shouldn’t be insecure about their trouty mouths, eagle beaks, and puffy pyramid nipples!  Because they were BORN THIS WAY,” Will thinks to himself.  (Hey, isn’t that the title of a LADY GAGA SONG?)

“I was born with a slab of raw meat on my head . . .”

And so begins Schue’s quest to teach his Glee kids a lesson about ACCEPTANCE . . . through singing, of course!

Santana Saves the Gay Day!

While most of the Glee kids seem to be struggling with insecurities based on their personal appearance, Santana is coping with a much deeper issue, her closeted homosexuality.  Public labels aside, our Queen B*tch still wants very badly to reunite with the love of her life Brittany, who is still dating Artie.  And, somehow, Santana thinks if she wins the title of Prom Queen, she will also win back Brittany.    But how does someone so HORRIFICALLY MEAN get elected to Prom Queen?  Well, by doing something REALLY nice, of course!

Santana decides that if she wants to win the support of her fellow Gleeks, she needs to get Kurt out of Dalton Academy, and back into New Directions, in time for Nationals.  But to do that, she needs to “tame” Big Bully Karofsky.  When Santana catches Karofsky ogling Sam’s ASS in the hallways at school, she develops an idea . . .

Santofsky?

Santana invites Karofsky out to lunch, and gives it to him “straight.”  “I know you are gay . . . I saw you checking out Sam’s ass,” she tells him matter-of-factly.  Though Karofsky initially denies Santana’s accusations, when she comes out of the closet to HIM, and offers that the two gays be eachother’s “beards,” in order to use their joint popularity to win Prom King and Queen, Karofsky agrees.  Of course, the fact that Santana threatens to OUT the guy in front of the whole school, if he doesn’t comply with her demands, certainly adds to the persuasion aspect.

“I SO want to Slushee you, right now!”

At Santana’s instruction, Karofsky issues a not particularly heartfelt, but VERY convincing, apology to the Glee kids for bullying them all.  He claims to have been “cured” of all meanness, by the love of a good lesbian woman.  Together, Santana and Karofsky vow to put  a stop to bullying in their school, by starting a sort of Anti-Bullying Guardian Angel Association called . . . get this . . . the “Bully Whips,” complete with RIDICULOUS UNIFORMS, who’s flashy hideousness would make Kurt proud . . .

“Those Bully Whips berets are ‘GORGE’, but a bit plain for my taste.  Do you think they come in rainbow colors?”

Speaking of Kurt, in furtherance of Santana’s Master Plan, Karofsky reaches out to him, by way of an apology.  Promptly, another school meeting is called to determine if Kurt feels safe enough under the same roof as Karofsky to return to McKinley High.  Kurt’s awesome dad, Burt, is in attendance . . .

 . . .  as is Doctor Arzt from Lost Karofsky’s dad, Principal Figgins, and the seemingly omnipresent Mr. Schue . . .

After hearing promises from both Karofsky, himself, and the “reformed bully’s” father, that he is a “changed man,” Kurt asks to speak to Karofsky privately.

“You’re not going to try and kiss me again, are you, Karofsky?  Because, in case you haven’t noticed, I have an INSANELY HOT BOYFRIEND, now.  Just sayin.'”

Kurt may be young, but he’s had enough life experience to know bullsh*t, when he smells it.  And so, with some gentle anal probing, Kurt eventually gets Karofsky to come clean about his and Santana’s nefarious plans to rule McKinley High from the inside of a closet.  Kurt is admittedly impressed . . .

“It’s all so deliciously EEEEEVVVIIILLLL!”  Mwah-ha-ha-ha!”

However, Kurt still thinks the viewing audience Karofsky must become educated in the Ways of the Gay.  And so, as a condition of Kurt’s returning to McKinley High, he makes Karofsky promise to start with him a chapter of PFLAG – Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians and Gays.  Karofsky agrees, and the Public Service Announcement Portion of the Episode is almost over.

Cut to the next day, where all the paperwork has miraculously been filed, Burt Hummel received a FULL refund on his MASSIVE private school tuition payment, and Kurt is back at McKinley High . . .  somewhere only he knows . . .

But WAIT!  Blaine is there TOO . . . and so are the REST OF THE WARBLERS!

 “How could that be?  I thought the Warblers were only allowed off campus for musical competitions and select trips to the Gap?”

Random Warbler 1:  “What’s with all these men in long hair, skirts, and makeup?  Is this a Drag Queen School?”

Random Warbler 2:  “Umm, actually . . . I think those are REAL girls.”

Random Warbler 1:  “Blaine?  I have a feeling we are not in Dalton anymore.”

Now, isn’t this sweet?  Blaine, who by now has undoubtedly forced his poor enslaved Warblers to sing for so many of his crushes, they are probably all plotting to kill him in his sleep, has commandeered his posse to sing a fond farewell to erstwhile Dalton-ite Kurt, to the tune of Keane’s “Somewhere Only We Know.”

“Hop inside my Extra Large Mouth, and I will take you for a ride you will never forget.”

I’m going to paste a link to this performance here.   Be prepared to be moved to tears, and Ugly Cry Faces . . .

 “I can’t believe Kurt is leaving the Warblers!”

“I can’t believe they didn’t put me in this scene!”

After the song, Kurt gives Blaine one final embrace, before sort of, but not really, saying goodbye to him until 3:00 p.m., when they will meet in Blaine’s bedroom and make sweet, sweet love to one another.

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So, I guess it’s fitting that the next scene features Kurt singing Sunset Boulevard’s “As if We Never Said Goodbye.”  (Although, actually, the song’s lyrics seem to more accurately reflect Kurt’s feelings about McKinley High, than Blaine.)

(To be honest, I was never a big fan of the “Show Tunes,” so I kind of tuned out on this one.  I liked the sentiment though!)

In other news . . .

Follow Your Heart (Not Your Nose.)

So, remember when I told you that Rachel was considering getting a nose job to fix her “deviated septum?”  Well, as it turns out, she doesn’t want just ANY OLD NOSE, she wants Quinn’s nose.  Rachel even goes so far as to invite Quinn with her to her Rhinoplasty consultation, so that Rachel could ascertain what she would look like with Quinn’s nose on her face.  (It’s kind of like that movie Face Off . . . only with less Nicholas Cage.)

Given all that, it makes sense that Quinn and Rachel decided to take time off from fighting over Finn and decided to fight over Puck sing a duet mashup of TLC’s “I Feel Pretty” and Westside Story’s “I Feel Pretty.”  Oh yeah . . . this one made me cry too!

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You can find a link to their performance here.  (Just be sure to have your Kleenex handy!)

It’s not until Rachel passes out PICTURES OF HERSELF wearing her new nose, that Team Schnoz Keeper REALLY starts to up its game.  First, Finn tells Rachel she is beautiful.   (All together now:  “Awwww!”)

thenm, Tina tells Rachel that she has decided to be an Asian Sex Symbol, and proceeds to make out with Mike Chang in front of everyone! 

(OK . . . so that wasn’t really helpful to Rachel.  But, honestly, this is about as useful as we’ve seen these two character be, in the past season and a half.)

Then Puck accosts Rachel in the Lady’s Room to tell her that chopping off her nose would be an affront to Hot Jews EVERYWHERE!

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(BTW, I’ve officially joined the ever-growing ranks of Team Puckleberry.  And I’m proud!)

But what really seems to ultimately change Rachel’s mind about Schnoz-Gate is the possibility of hot sex with fellow Hot Jew, Puck  . . . . The Mall?

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With Kurt’s help, Puck stages a Barbra-vention at the Eagle Rock Plaza Mall in Glendale, California. some mall in Ohio.

 

 

What’s a Barbra-vention, you ask?  Well, basically, it’s a remake of Artie’s Safety Dance Number (which took place at the SAME MALL)  where Puck, Kurt, and a whole bunch of strangers, dance around the food court to Duck Sauce’s song “Barbra Streisand.”

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Rock on, PUCK!

Never heard of the Barbra Streisand song?  Oh, it’s a very eloquent tune . . . and by “eloquent” I mean it contains THREE WORDS (well . . . actually, one name, one consonant, and one vowel).  Please allow me to teach it to you.  It goes, “Woooooooooo Woooooooo, BARBRA STREISAND.”  And . . . that’s it. 

No, I’m NOT kidding you, Damon Salvatore!  It’s actually a pretty good song.  But I must admit, hearing it didn’t make me not want a nose job.  To each his own, I guess . . .

Long story short, Rachel ended up not getting a nose job.  Team Schnoz Keepers, for the WIN . . . and, of course, Barbra Streisand. 

In other sing-y and dance-y news (And, yes, I recognize what a LAME segway that was!), Finn and Mike showed off their respective lack of singing and dancing ability in their performance of Sammy Davis Jr.’s “Gotta Be Me.”  During the performance, Finn sang well and danced REALLY badly, while Mike dance well, but didn’t sing at all.  In other words, it was exactly like EVERY OTHER MUSIC NUMBER IN WHICH MIKE CHANG HAS TAKEN PART SINCE THE PILOT . . .

You can check out a link to the performance here:

(Now, don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have anything at all against Sammy Davis, Jr., may he Rest in Peace.  But, since this week’s Glee song selection did appear to be a bit 60’s tune heavy, does anybody else think Genesis’ “I Can’t Dance” would have been a slightly modern (and way more fun) choice for this duo?  Just a thought . . .)

But it wasn’t just the students at McKinley High who were staring down their insecurities, Emma Pillsbury was too!

Who’s Down with OCD?  (Yeah, you know Emma!)

(By the way, special thanks MUST go out to the Wemma Love Tumblr for (perhaps unknowingly) helping me out MAJORLY with this recap.  Every awesome Will and Emma GIF you see here, undoubtedly comes from THERE.  So, if Wemma is your SHIP, you now know where to sail . . .)

So, as you recall, Will has spent much of the episode trying to get Emma to admit she’s got a problem with the Excessive Cleanliness Thing, and that it is keeping her from having hot Schue Sex living a happy and productive life.  But when Will encourages Emma to join the rest of the class in making a t-shirt that portrays her biggest insecurity, she DOESN’T (at least, initially) choose “OCD.”  Instead, she chooses . . . THIS . . .

At lunch, Will REALLY lets Emma have it for the whole Ginger / OCD Thing!  In fact, he gets all up her grill with his dirty, unwashed fruit, and accuses her of being an “expert of deflection,” who’s afraid to face her own biggest insecurities.

“My fruits may be dirty, but I assure you that my tongue is very clean.”

The Tough Love seems to work on Emma, who, at Will’s coaxing, seeks professional help for her compulsions, even going as far as to accept medication to minimize their symptoms.  At the end of the episode, Emma DOES find the courage to proudly wear her “OCD” t-shirt.  After getting INSANELY turned on by watching Emma “strip” into said shirt (Dont’ hold your breath Schuester . . . those legs have been closed for 32 years.  And it’s going to take a lot more than some choice words and a pill to pry them open.), Will happily grabs her ungloved (baby steps!) hand, and leads her on to the dance floor.  And, for those of you wondering what WILL’s biggest insecurity is, well . . . wonder no more!

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(It gives the term Butt Face a whole new meaning!)

Speaking of Butt Faces . . . In Lauren Zizes’ news . . .  (I’m sorry, guys.  She just REALLY bugs me.)

Quinn Gets the Sympathy Vote (?)

Now, if you went to (or currently go to) high school with girls like Quinn and Santana, you are probably not surprised that either of these girls has their heart set on Prom Queen.  But you MAY be surprised to hear that Lauren Zizes wants the title as well.  After all, she was Little Miss Toddler’s in Tiaras back when she was three.  So clearly, she has the pedigree for the job . . .

Being the Whipped Puppy he seems to become, everytime he comes within three feet of Zizes, Puck decides to help Lauren win the crown.

PUCK:  “Hey, Selfish!  Ever think of doing something for ME, for a change?”

LAUREN:  “Oh, you’re still here?  I could have sworn our characters would be broken up by now.”

PUCK: “Word.”

Initially, Lauren actually looks like she has a good shot at winning the title.  After all, she’s clearly a fan favorite among the outcasts and misfits.  But then, Lauren has to go and fight dirty, by digging up an old picture of Quinn from her middle school days, and posting it all over the school . . .


Ummm .  . . yeah, so apparently Quinn’s real name is “Lucy”, and she used to be (gasp!) not-so-hot.  She also was given the unfortunate nickname Lucy Caboosey, by some of her crueler classmates.  So, when it came time to go to high school, Quinn changed schools . . . and her name . . . and her NOSE (How do ya like them apples, Rachel?)  She also, obviously, went on a MAJOR starvation diet.  And that’s how Quinn became the shallow biatch we know and love(?) today. 

Well, of course, Quinn is MORTIFIED to have this intel out in the open . . .

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As luck (and karma) would have it, however, Lauren’s plan to ruin Quinn’s chances at becoming Prom Queen end up backfiring!

(I know!  I can’t believe I’m actually rooting for Quinn, either!  I guess my frustration with Glee’s recent Zizes Overload does this to me.)

Once the school sees what Quinn USED to look like, they instinctively find her more likeable and relatable.  Suddenly, she’s gone from being someone to despite and envy, to an Inspirational Figure.  (Take THAT, ZIZES!) 

In a sweet final moment of the episode, Finn turns to girlfriend, Quinn, and shows him the Lucy Caboosey picture he now keeps in his wallet.  “This is the only picture I have of you, where I can really see you,” he explains.  

Then they makeout . . .

 . . . which kind of makes me want to go dig up photographs of MY AWKWARD STAGE (assuming I’m not still in it), so that I can show  incriminating pictures of myself to hot boys, and they will start making out with ME too!  (Hey, it could happen!)

Born this Way . . .

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Moments before the final dance number of the evening, which, as promised by The Schue at the beginning of the episode, is to the tune of Lady Gaga’s “Born this Way,” we get to see what everybody put on their Insecurities T-shirts.  I think my favorite of these came from Brittany (who’s shirt said “I’m with Stoopid, with an arrow pointing to her head) and Puck (who’s shirt ALSO said “I’m with Stoopid, with an arrow pointing to his other head).  L

ess impressive was Artie’s shirt that said “Four Eyes” (Zzzzz), and Tina’s shirt that said “Brown Eyes”  (Really?  Because, last I checked, THREE QUARTERS of the population has those).  Here are is a composite of the rest of the Gleek’s shirts .  . .  (Thanks oddles, GLEEIFS Tumblr!)

Not taking part in the dance number is a pouty Santana, who is still lodged firmly in the closet, despite the fact that Brittany made her a “Lebanese” t-shirt.  (Get it?  Lebanese?  Don’t forget, this is Brittany we are talking about here!)

Santana: You don’t get a say in who I date anymore.
Brittany: Why not? Because I’m dating somebody? Because you’re Lebanese, and I think I’m bi-curious?
Santana: No, because I said I love you. You didn’t say you love me back.
Brittany: I do love you.  Clearly, you don’t love you as much as I do, or you’d put this shirt on, and you would dance with me.

Wait . . . did she say “dance?”

Although there was no Horizontal Mambo for Brittana this week, there was a final tribute to Lady Gaga.  And you can enjoy it, in all its “Be Yourself” Glory, by clicking on this external link:

So, my fellow Gleeks . . . tell me . . . what’s on YOUR Insecurities T-shirt? ;)

[www.juliekushner.com]

18 Comments

Filed under Glee

18 responses to “Nose Jobs, Cabooseys, and Lebanese Beards – A Recap of Glee’s “Born this Way”

  1. fauvish

    I definitely liked this episode a lot more than last week’s, which was just 40 minutes of boring. I think Glee is usually at its best when it’s themed like this, because then it doesn’t matter as much that the story and characters aren’t very consistent overall.

    What I liked:
    – The theme: it could have all been about looks, but Emma’s storyline made sure it wasn’t that superficial. I think they did a nice job of showing a person that’s suffering from a mental disorder, but still clings to it (because they have built their whole identity around it and thus are scared to let it go).
    – Unpretty: I alway loved that song, and to have the girls sing that (is it that Quinn and Rachel’s first duet?) made it even better!
    – Santana’s, Brittany and Puck’s T-shirts… nuff said
    – Kurt returning to McKinley (does this mean no more Warblers acapellas??)
    – It strikes me that that gay characters on this show are probably the most complex. I’d love to see more of David Karofsky, because he honestly makes it all a lot more interesting.

    Cons:
    -However, I did think the words on other T-shirts (especially the ones related to appearance) were kind of predictable. They didn’t really show us sides of the characters that they hadn’t already made very sure we already knew.
    – Tina’s comment on Asian sex symbols. Come on, she’s Korean, but she has no idea of the Korean Wave or K-pop? I think it was a bit shortsighted of the writers to think that just because American/Western entertainment doesn’t have Asian “sex symbols”, they don’t exist at all? It’s probably just my pet peeve, since I really like Asian entertainment, but it bothered me nontheless.

    • Hey fauvish! I love the point you raised about Emma’s story. There is really such a fine line (particularly when it comes to obsessive compulsions), between what should be deemed quirky eccentricity, and what constitutes an actual medical illness that requires treatment. As you mentioned, Emma’s anxiety issues, and “neat freak”-iness are so much a part of who she is as a person, that I’m sure a part of her worries that if her OCD is “cured,” she will no longer have that “cute” crutch to fall back on.

      This storyline not only dealt with the stigma attached to mental illness, but also the unusual comforts such an illness can provide to a sufferer, by preventing them from having to cope with other issues in their lives. That’s some pretty heady stuff for a teen television show. :)

      I too feel like the gay and bi-curious characters on this show, seem to be the most complex and consistently well-written of the Glee crew. I find Karofsky, in particular, fascinating. Max Adler takes what could be a thankless role, and makes Karofsky intriguing, and oddly sympathetic. I’m definitely interested in seeing where his storyline takes him.

      Lea Michele and Diana Agron were EXCELLENT in their duet to “I Feel Pretty / Unpretty.” I never realized how well these two voices complimented one another. And I think you might be right, about this being their first duet. (Though there have been a few times, during which ALL the Glee females sang together. This may have been the first song on Glee that focused exclusively on these two voices, in particular.)

      I felt the same way you did about the t-shirts. While I ADORED Puck’s, Brittany’s, and Santana’s, and wouldn’t have changed THEM for the world, I really thought Glee missed an opportunity here to explore, if only for a brief moment, some of the genuine insecurities these characters, and the actors who play them, have about themselves that may not have been expressly dealt with in the show. “Four Eyes” and “Brown Eyes” just seemed like lazy choices on the part of the writers.

      And I definitely see your point about Tina’s alarming ignorance of Asian pop culture. That may actually be more disconcerting than her need to “Americanize” her eyes. I understand that the line was largeley meant to be a humorous extension of the self-acceptance theme, but it fell flat on so many levels.

      Thanks again for taking the time to share your awesome comments with me. I really do appreciate it. You rock! :)

  2. Ali

    Now that I know better I came straight here to read the recap before watching the actual episode….. Now I can watch it safely.

    Thanks kjewls ;)

    My favorites so far:
    – May you never be saddled with the ignominy of a school dress code EVER AGAIN!
    – Santana Lopez: Making people feel like crap, since 1994 . . .
    – The whole Puck-Zeizes gif dialoge LOL

    and this is only in the recap… I can´t wait to see what the episode looks like

    by the way… I´m also hating Zeizes character… Cut her off already!! We have our lady friend Kurt back so we don´t need her anymore

    • Awww, thanks so much, Ali! It is my absolute pleasure to maximize your Glee viewing experience, and protect you from wasting your time on mediocre episodes. :)

      That being said, though it wasn’t perfect by any means, I think you will really enjoy “Born this Way.” It’s 60-minutes (well, 90, including all the commercials) of decent music, perky Glee-ness, and Gaga-esque fabulousity (assuming that’s even a word).

      Great point about Lauren Zizes! You are absolutely right! The only reason she was needed to join Glee club was the Kurt was gone, and New Directions required an extra body to compete. Well, Kurt is back! So, it’s HIGH TIME this annoyance bounced on out of here, and left our Puck ALONE! :)

  3. Ali

    Ok.. I watched the episode already. I really liked it… like A LOT….. I could say that the Zeizes character had a great closure in this episode, you know, just in case the writers are thinking about sending her character home this could be a great chance. I´m with you on the team Puckleberry, for shoo

    I have to say, tho, here´s another case of “we have so many characters, so some of them get lame storylines”. It is a good thing Sue did not appear at all. I prefer that than seeing her in a crappy plot. But Artie and Tina…Geez. Not only the lazy t-shirt choice, but also: their storylines are going nowhere…just saying. The same with my girl Mercedes: the one time they give her a chance to shine and they made a totally unlikeable diva of her…

    Totally agree with what you guys said: Gays and Bis get the best developed characters. I´m also looking forward to Karofski´s future steps.

    Thanks again kjwels… You certainly never dissapoint

  4. MaryJey

    Hi! first time commenting on your glee recap… but how can I not when you became Puckleberry! awesome! Puckleberry fan since1994!
    Yeah this episode was great and your recaps better! The writing, the musical numbers were all great, and Finn and Quinn arguing over Rachel… it just felt like old glee! BTW the last part was sarcastic I wish they would end that stupid triangle forever…
    I love:
    Santana! How can she be so offensive to everyone and i still love her I dont no… But she is my fav character by far…
    Emma and will. I never like them but they were kind of bearable in this episode. Emma storyline was really well handle and I thought they did a great job with the therapist. “Your illness its not who you are, its preventing you from becoming who you are suppose to be…” really well-said.
    Rachel and Kurt, one of my favorites friendships in the show, I love when they have scenes together and when they are involve in whatever the other one is going through.
    Puck! Puck and his defense of the Jew traits!
    Hate (yeah I dont have grey areas…lol)
    Quinn storyline. But IDKW I expected different at this point. (At least she had that great song with Rachel)
    Lauren and Puck. OMG! I cant even watch them. Plus Puck plotting against Quinn, she is the mother of his child, he loved her once, do we have to believe that he support Lauren’s campaign to humiliate her or that she didn’t tell him about it? As everyone else I want her far far away, how come the writers dont see this??
    And the worst as you put it: brown eyes! Come on Tina! I used to love her in another time, another place.. now not so much… so ooc to watch her making out with mike chang…

    “. . . which kind of makes me want to go dig up photographs of MY AWKWARD STAGE (assuming I’m not still in it), so that I can show incriminating pictures of myself to hot boys, and they will start making out with ME too! (Hey, it could happen!)” This got me thinking two things: First, I hope I’m still in my awkward stage because if not I’m screw! Second, if I’m still in my awkward stage wouldn’t guys want to make out with me like this or the magic only happens when this is just a cute but VERY distant memory?

    • Thanks for stopping by, MaryJey! I’m so excited that we can talk Glee together now too! :)

      Team Puckleberry (a.k.a. Team Hot Jews), FTW! I mean, how could they not win, when they have the best SHIPPER name EVER? It sounds good enough to eat. Can you eat a Finchel? I think not! And I would certainly never eat a FUINN. I mean, that sounds like something you cough up, when you have a sinus infection.

      Not to mention the fact that Lea Michele and Mark Salling have INSANE chemistry, or that Rachel’s and Puck’s personalities balance one another out perfectly. Besides, Rachel is SO much less grating and more low-key, when she’s around Puck, than when she’s around Finn. Remember when Puck got her to throw that party at her house? I bet Finn couldn’t have convinced her to do that. Just sayin’.

      Santana is a lot of fun, isn’t she? Granted, I feel like if I really knew her, I’d be deathly afraid of her. But, man, is she great at saying all the things you are thinking but would never say out loud! There’s just something really refreshing about a person who you know will always tell it like it is, no matter what. Plus, Naya Rivera is such a talented actress. I’m glad the writers decided to give her this sexuality storyline, because it gives her so much more of an opportunity to show her range, than when she was just Quinn’s competition for Queen Bee.

      I too adore the Rachel / Kurt / Mercedes friendship, and definitely missed it, while Kurt was at Dalton. I’m hoping these three gals ;) get more scenes together, now that Kurt is back at McKinley.

      I’m glad someone else feels my pain over the so called “Luck.” I just never find Lauren Zizes particularly funny. It’s as if the character tries to be a plumper version of Santana, but fails miserably. And Ashley Fink and Mark Salling really have no chemistry together, as far as I’m concerned.

      I also agree with you that the Puck we know and love would NEVER help Lauren do that AWFUL thing to Quinn. You don’t go through what Puck and Quinn endured together, and completely forget about it, just because you have a new girlfriend. It just seemed extremely Out of Character for Puck. Then again, so does the entire Puck / Lauren relationship.

      Regarding awkward stages, I do wonder if there is REALLY anyone out there (aside from those kids they put on talk shows and give makeovers to) who has honestly transitioned from a Lucy Caboosey to a Quinn Febray. Because, based on early pictures I’ve seen of Dianna Agron, SHE certainly didn’t make that transition! In fact Little Dianna pretty much looked like a pint-sized version of “Big Dianna.” So, while it’s nice of the Glee writers to give the little Lucy Caboosey’s out there hope, it probably isn’t going to happen for them. :)

      • MaryJey

        I never thought about it but it actually is the best ship name ever! Puckleberry!
        Totally agree about Santana, she is much more interesting now that the decide to go all the way in with the character.
        I never ship Puck and Quinn but I hate that the show neglect that storyline so much! They have a child together FGS! And its like it never even happened. I enjoy glee for its easygoing humor and musical numbers, I don’t expect much, but sometimes the inconsistence of the storylines and the lack of continuity makes me really mad.
        Plus Quinn and Finn together! after everything they went through its killing me. At first I partly stand it because I thought it was the road to explore Puckleberry again, but the writers keeps neglecting us! I really hope they decide to go there again… I mean the couple really have only one episode together and the chemistry and the shippers exploded! They have to realize!

  5. CRAZYLOVE345

    I always look foward to coming here after Glee because I never cease to start crack up laughing. I had to keep changing the channel, because of my Lady Gaga (I have tagged her as Lady Gagme) Phobia. Seriously! I GAG every time I see her. *shivers*
    Since I am new to Glee, I am open to really any of the characters. My fave is probably Sue Sylvester. 1) I love Jane Lynch2)Her character is so mean and jerky, that its so funny I sometimes feel like dying. A close second is definately Emma. 1) Her OCD is a really great storyline 2) Her soon to be ex husband is sexy John Stamos (Two words: HAVE MERCY) 3) I always love the nutjobs on every show that I watch. Mercedes hands down is a fave character and I love her imfamous line, “Hell to the no!” I actually included that for my latest chapter for fanfic (BTW I now have over 200 reviews! How awesome is that?)
    This episode, besides being filled with Lady Gagme and everything, brought me back to the Glee I know and I love. Last weeks “Night of Neglect” (I named it the night to make me wish for a brainwash so I could forget that the season premeire never happened. Awesome recap as always! Can’t wait to continue reading the ones for VD and I am counting down the days until I can read your awesome PLL recaps (45 days to go!)
    I am really beginning to see why everyone loves Twitter so much. From me to you, a gift from the PLL set, to make you smile wide as ever!: http://img.ly/3E93.
    The Wrenster is officially back!

    • Lady Gagme! I love it! I like a few of her songs, but, honestly, she scares me too. :) Interestingly enough, even though the episode was titled after one of The Lady’s songs, there really wasn’t very much Lady Gaga included in this one. It wasn’t like that last Gaga-themed Glee episode, that was ALL Gaga, All the time. :)

      Wait, did I read you correctly? Are you planning on starting to watch TVD? CAN YOU? CAN YOU? That would make me so happy! :) Plus, I think you’d really enjoy Sexy Shirtless Damon . . . I mean . . . um . . . the show. ;)

      Speaking of Sexy, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the Julian Morris scoop and pics. DAMN he looked sexy in that video editing room! Is it possible he’s become hotter, since I last saw him? And as for the shot of his trailer, “if it’s rockin’, don’t come a knockin’, because I’m probably in there with him doing . . . stuff. ;)

      This just makes me even more excited for PLL’s return! :) (As if that was even possible.)

  6. Eli

    How you doin’? :D

    Loved the recap (as always did, will always do). Willy Wonka!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!! I thought the SAME thing when I saw him! “I’m never saying goodbye to you” May the gods curse that beautiful gay butterfly of kurt if he EVER leaves Blaine ¬¬ You know that I’d seen the blaine and the pip’s song’s video before watching the episode and I cried a little :( and I watched the episode and cried again! To be honest I got emotional with “As if we never said goodbye”, “I feel pretty/unpretty” and “Somewhere only we know”.

    This must be one of the best episodes ever, “A night of neglect never happenned!!

    I agree with MaryJay about the lines of emma’s doc. That was a strong line (and I love that actress though I don’t remember ever her name :B)

    Also another line I liked and thought that had some meaning was Quinn’s when talking to Lauren: ” I love myself and that’s why I did all those things”, I mean it’s like you have two ways to seeing yourself, ‘I love myself as I am and will stay like this whether people like it or not’ or ‘I love myself enough to change how I look as I know that I’m more than my own appearance’ (I hope I was able to explain what I thought when I heard that line :P).

    PD: I like Lauren ♥
    PD2: my chart’s of Rachel’s couples are something like this….

    1° Rachel alone
    2° Rachel + Jesse
    3° Rachel + Noah
    4° Rachel and a random
    .
    .
    .
    234° Rachel + Douschefinn

    Cheers!

    PD3!!!! UPS!! Tina’s and Artie’s T-Shirts….. WTF?!??!?!?!?! Tina must be like the most boring and irritating character of this program I’m SO tired of her… I’d love a Sam+Mike duet if you know what I mean ;)

    • Hey Eli! Thanks so much for stopping by. Your comments are always so fun and entertaining. I always love reading them.

      You certainly aren’t the only one who got teary watching “Somewhere only we know” and “I Feel Pretty / Unpretty.” I was weeping too! There’s definitely no shame in that. In fact, I find the waterworks start to work in my eyes, WHENEVER a TV character I care about cries. I guess that’s just how I roll. ;)

      You know, last week, we were talking about how we wished we could erase “Night of Neglect” from Glee’s history. And I completely agree with you that, with “Born this Way,” the writers of this show did just that. Three cheers for Bad Episode Erasure!

      Emma’s therapist was played by an actress named Kathleen Quinlan. I’m not too familiar with her, myself. But her resume looks pretty extensive. You can check out her IMDB page here:

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000599/

      I absolutely agree with you that “acceptance” of one’s looks and “self-confidence” can come in two distinct flavors. There are people who say that you should love and accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. And there are others, like Santana and Quinn, who say, “If you don’t like something about yourself, change it.”

      I know Glee seemed to unequivocally support the first notion of acceptance, over the second. But I personally think both points are valid. Self-confidence is important, however it comes. Ideally, people’s feelings of self-worth shouldn’t be tied solely to their appearance. Nor, should they be tied to any one aspect of a person’s being (their athleticism, intelligence, sense of humor or lack thereof) etc. But, in reality, everyone has at least one thing about themselves that they would like to change. And there is something to be said for taking an active view on one’s happiness, and ensuring it, by improving yourself, in any way you can.

      That’s just my two cents. But I agree with you, Lauren’s and Quinn’s conversation at the end of the episode, expressed both arguments fairly well, in my opinion. (Speaking of Lauren, I had no idea you were a Zizes fan, Eli! *blushes* Sorry, I said all those mean things about her in this recap. :))
      LOL about Sam and Mike. They would make a REALLY cute couple, wouldn’t they? After all, they’ve both got GREAT ABS. I’ve seen solid relationships formed on much less. :)

      By the way, your proposed Rachel couplings list was PURE WIN! I got a REALLY good laugh out of your placement of Douchefinn, in particular. That was GREAT!

  7. Anastasia

    Loved Santana’s speech about her philosophy if you see something in the mirror that you don’t like, you should change it. XD

    I don’t get why Kurt moved back though… Wasn’t he happy at Dalton?

    • Hey Anastasia! I loved Santana’s speech too! I actually think that viewpoint was unfairly short-changed on this episode.

      After all, while I certainly agree with the message that you should learn to love yourself for who you are, there’s also something to be said, for being proactive about making yourself into the person you want to be. I’m a firm believer in that maxim. And I think it goes beyond just physical appearances. There are plenty of ways we can go about improving ourselves, both on the inside and out. Wanting to be a better person, and self-acceptance don’t necessarily have to be mutally exclusive. I wish the episode dealt with that aspect of the theme just a smidge more.

      That being said, this was still one of my favorite Glee episodes. :)

      Good question about Kurt. I wondered about that too. While I do think Kurt enjoyed being at Dalton (and he certainly enjoyed being with Blaine), there were a few scenes in the show that alluded to the fact that he missed his friends at McKinley. I also think there was a part of Kurt that felt ashamed for having been chased out of HIS OWN school by Karofsky. So, Karofsky’s apology gave him the opportunity to “reclaim his turf,” so to speak. :)

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