“Well, hello ladies. I’m BAAAAAAACKKK!”
WARNING: There are certain posts on this blog that are intelligent, erudite, and highly analytical evaluations of pop culture . . . . This ISN’T one of those posts.
Christmas has come early for TVD fans, in the form of two tantalizing new trailers that are jam-packed with Ripper insanity, Delena tenderness, Coed Naked Forwood BED HUMPING, Salvatore Brother Wall Slam Madness, and a raging party at La Casa de Rich and Awesome . . .
(Rafter Dancing not necessarily included . . .)
Did I mention SHIRTLESSNESS? Oh, yes, boys and girls. This season’s new trailer delivered not one, but TWO “less than dressed” moments from our favorite TVD males. And ONE of those moments, featured a teensy tiny bit of soap where UNDERWEAR was supposed to be . . . Any guesses as to who that lathered-up lad was?
(Well, read the title of this post, DUH!)
So, in honor of our new pal, Mr. Sudsy Weiner, I’ve decided to take a look back at some of Damon Salvatore’s most mesmerizing less-than-dressed moments. Because we all know how much Damon likes to please the ladies (and the men) with his unique . . . um . . . assets . . .
So, grab that rubber duckie, and leave your clothing at the door, because it’s time to get NAKED with the sexiest 170-year old I know . . .
He Makes Bathtime Lots of Fun!
Rub, a, dub, dub, Fangbangers! Damon Salvatore is not only the sexiest vampire in Mystic Falls, he may also be the CLEANEST. After a long hard day of ripping out hearts, dancing like a maniac, flirting, and doing “that eye thing he always does,” the Elder Salvatore brother would like nothing more than to rip off those pesky clothes, and barrel into that pristine bathroom of his, for some “one-on-one time” with the tub.
“Go away SOAPDISH! Bathtub and I need our privacy!”
When most of us think of Bathtub Damon, THIS is the image that comes to mind . . .
Having made his wet and wild debut, in the opening moments of Season 2’s “Daddy Issues,” before the title card for the show even appeared, this version of Bathtub Damon offered EVERYTHING a connoisseur of shirtlessness could possibly want: pectoral closeups, abdominal appreciation, the long lingering upward crawl of a camera lens, and the brood and smoulder of a pensive, wet-haired Salvatore brother.
Admittedly, Damon had a whole lot of angst to wash off at the time (which may explain why he thankfully bathed AGAIN at the end of the episode). After all, in the past twenty four hours, Damon had been forced to (1) euthanize a were-rabies addled Rose; (2) come to grips with his unquenchable desire to regain his humanity; and (3) eat a lonely young female traveler on the road, so as to avoid dealing with his FEELINGS.
Not only is the above scene undeniably sexy, it also silently and beautifully conveys the pain, guilt, longing and uncertainty Damon is experiencing at this point in the series.
But what’s a shower scene without a companion Wrapped in Towel Moment to swaddle your recent naked memories in the warmth and cuddliness of a fluffy white towel (easily removeable, of course)?
Oh Damon, you big ole fangy TEASE. . . with your unwrapped towel, which you woefully knotted, just moments before you sauntered across my television screen on those long lean muscular legs of yours. I was so busy staring at your . . . ahem . . . better half that I barely noticed Future Sex Toy Andie on the TV within a TV, reporting on all those people Were Rabies Rose ate, last week.
“Who the f*&k is Rose?”
Fortunately (or, unfortunately, depending on your thoughts about Sex Toy Andie) both Bathtub Damon and his four-episode “girlfriend” graced the show with their respective presences, less than an hour later . . .
This bathtub scene served as a nice parallel to the one at the beginning of the episode, in that, here, in the comfort of his bathtub, Damon was finally able to convey in words all the pain we saw him silently endure, while in the shower. Damon’s confession — which he felt comfortable giving to Andie, only because she was under compulsion at the time — was an extremely cathartic moment for our antihero.
Of course, it was fitting that he did this in a bathtub, as he was not only cleansing his body, but his soul as well. Did I mention that it ended with one of the most captivating, transparently sexual, BITES in TVD history?
Of course, Delena fans, like myself, most remember this scene as being the one in which Damon admitted just how much he loved Elena, and that his biggest fear, was that he would never be good enough to deserve her love, in return. This is a theme that echoes throughout the second half of Season 2. And, as we well know, it comes full circle during Season Finale, when Elena finally admits to Damon that he IS good enough to deserve her, and that she likes him just the way he is . . .
(click on the internal link to view)
And hey, for those of you who prefer your Naked Damon silent, but deadly . . .
. . . you can catch ALL THREE shirtless scenes from “Daddy Issues,” without all the pesky wordplay, RIGHT HERE:
Damon’s desire to use water to symbolically purge his inner demons is nothing new. In fact, he’s been doing it since 1864 . . .
Back in the episode “Blood Brothers,” Damon had just learned that Vampire Katherine, the then-love of his life, may have been burned to death in church fire. OH, and he also has three days to decide whether to feed on human blood, or DIE. No pressure! So, what does our Damon decide to do in the midst of all this stress? Bathe in the river, of course!
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love me some COMPLETELY NAKED Damon. But sometimes, the delectable allure of just the slightest sliver of bare chest can be precisely what the Love Doctor ordered. Perhaps, the most notable of Open-Shirted Salvatore Moments occurs during Season 1’s “The Lost Girls,” in which Damon engages soon-to-be vampire Vicki in what has become the SECOND most iconic dance in TVD history. (The most iconic, being the “Miss Mystic Falls” dance, obviously.)
Given all the angst and heartache we’ve watched him endure throughout Season 2, it’s easy to forget that Damon Salvatore is a FUN GUY! And when he’s not busy pining for love, or trying to save Elena from the Villain of the Week, he’d like nothing more than to pop open a few beers (or his trademark bottle of bourbon) pop up his shirt collar, and dance from the rafters to the groovy sounds of a Depeche Mode cover band . . .
(Come on! Press the link! You know you want to!)
Yet, even during Damon’s most carefree and liquored-up moments, there is an inner core of sadness that lurks beneath the surface.
So, no matter how much he tries to use drinking and good humor to dull The Pain, it still peeks out, exposing its raw and vulnerable “skin” through the thin fabric of his unbuttoned cotton shirt . . . And we all know, there’s really only one person who could properly button that “pain” back up: Elena.
(You can’t NOT click the link! It’s, as Damon says, “irresistabbbllle.”)
But, lest we get too maudlin, we should remember, that drinking and partying, isn’t ALWAYS about dulling the pain. Sometimes, its just a way to reconnect with old friends through a nice neighborly game of strip poker.
It also could be a sexy way to kill the messenger.
You know . . . because it “sends a message.”
Sleepy Time for Sexy Vamp . . .
You know, in SOME vampire shows, bloodsuckers don’t sleep . . . or they DO sleep, but they do it in coffins, ick!
Fortunately, in The Vampire Diaries, vampires sleep just as much (or as little) as us humans do. And Damon Salvatore is no exception. You know what else is great about TVD vampires? They tend to sleep without their shirts on!
Of course, as we know, beds aren’t always for sleeping. Sometimes, they are for pondering your next move, because you just learned that the woman you love has ONCE AGAIN put her life in the hands of the dubiously trustworthy Vampire Elijah (and his fabulous hair), as we see in the above shot, taken from Season 2’s “Klaus.”
But don’t worry. Damon does WAY more than pout and sleep in his bed. He also uses it for HOT SEX. . .
Yes, boys and girls. Contrary to popular belief, people (and vampires) did, in fact, engage in hot raunchy LOVIN’, back in 1864. They just had a lot more clothing to remove, before they could get to the good stuff. . .
(Click the link! Get some)
After a long exhausting night of hot loving . . .
Nothing beats some good old-fashioned breakfast in bed . . .
Just don’t play with your food, OK?
Of course, the problem with eating breakfast in bed, is that it tends to muss up your sheets with crumbs (or blood, as the case may be). When that happens, you may find yourself having to improvise. One way to do that is by moving your bedtime activities to THE FLOOR, as Katherine and Damon do in Season 2’s “The Return”
Wow! Damon’s a DAMN GOOD LOVER, isn’t he?
No wonder Elena is having sexy dreams about him!
Earlier, we discussed how Damon sometimes uses his shirtlessness to express his sadness and vulnerability. But sometimes, the Elder Salvatore has been known to rip off his shirt to channel his ANGER! Take for example these two parallel scenes, in which Damon takes out his anger, over being outsmarted by a fellow vampire, on his SHIRT, his PHONE, and, of course, a Very Special Soapdish . . .
Speaking of Soap . . .
It always comes back to cleanliness with Damon, doesn’t it? And this post is no exception. I leave you with the much beloved Shirtless and Soapy Damon clip from The Vampire Diaries’ BRAND NEW upcoming season, set to premiere September 15th.