Hot Butts, Pick-Up Trucks, and a Boy Named BEEEEEEEEELL! – A Recap of True Blood’s “Let’s Get Out of Here”

Oh, Sookie Scream Face . . . how I’ve missed you!  Now, if they could just bring back your Ugly Cry Face, I’d truly be a happy camper . . .

That’s the ONE! 

Greetings Fangbangers!  This week on True, Blood we found ourselves faced with a number of very important questions:

(1) Is it OK to “love them both?”

 

(2) Eric’s Ass or Alcide’s Ass?


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(3) Are Taylor Swift songs an appropriate soundtrack for Pick-Up Truck F*&ks?

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(4) And finally . . . posing as a bunny, so that your girlfriend’s daughter can fondle you . . . sweet gesture, or just really, really creepy?

Be prepared to ponder these issues and many more in this week’s recap, or Trailer Trash Debbie will kill you . . . with kindness.

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[As always,  special thanks to SkarsgardFans.com, for the amazing screencaps you see here!]

Prayer Time, with Werewolf and Vampire . . .

I don’t know . . . when I wake up in the morning, all I see staring back at me is my friggin alarm clock.

A werewolf and a vampire are both seeking salvation.  It sounds like the beginning of a joke, right?  But that’s what happens when Alcide carries a bleeding-to-death Sookie back to her house, and King Cockblock steals his thunder, by scooping her out from under him, rushing her to the couch, and sticking his bloody hand in her mouth . . .

Remember the last time Sookie was on the couch . . .  just sayin’ 

A little man-bickering occurs, when King Cockblock notes that he shouldn’t have ALLOWED Sookie to fight tonight, and Alcide seconds that emotion wholeheartedly.  “Werewolf . . . shut the f*&k up!”  King Cockblock replies, which isn’t a very kingly thing to say, if you ask me.

“Grrrrr . .  . feel that trickle of water down your pants, BEEEEL?  That’s me peeing on your leg.”

King Cockblock then instructs Alcide that Sookie is near death, and requires both of their prayers.  To this, Alcide, hilariously responds: “We are a werewolf and a vampire. [If we pray], who’s going to listen?”

 

“I will!  I will!”

It’s an interesting philosophical question, and one that sounds kind of odd coming from a werewolf.  After all, unlike vampires — who always seem particularly prone to mopey behavior and self-loathing – I always assumed that werewolves just thought they were the Bee’s Knees . . . (whatever the heck that weird expression means) .  . . and that everyone, the Lord included, would want to be just like them.

And what man wouldn’t want to look just like Alcide? 

Anywhoo . . . Sookie awakens to the faces of two of the three men currently interested in f*&king her . . .

“What the hell, Alan Ball!  You forgot one!”

Personal sidenote:  When I was a baby, I’ve been told my first word was “Daddy.”  So, every night, when I needed a diaper change, THAT’S who I would call.  Except my dad never changed my diapers.  Only my mom did.  And it INFURIATED her how long I refused to learn the word “Mommy,” even though SHE was the one doing all the dirty work . . . literally.

I imagine this was how Alcide and King Cockblock felt, when they saved Sookie’s life, and all she kept doing was whining for the Viking Vamp. . .

After about the fifth time, in as many minutes, Sookie demands that her lovers find Eric for her, so that she could go back to having that Narnia sex she enjoys so much, Alcide gets fed up.  He then carefully reminds her how many times hanging out with vampires has almost killed her, and tells her to wake up and smell the dead people!  But Sookie is still all, “ERIC, ERIC, BRING ME MY ERIC.”

So, Alicide leaves.  Bill stays though, and, as a result, he is rewarded with a “Thanks for the blood, Bud.  Now, go find my Eric . . .

“But Soookkeeeehhh, I lovvvvvveeee youuuuuuu!”

Wow, talk about biting the hand that feeds you, Sookie!  Speaking of Eric . . .

Worst Use of a Sex Toy EVER!

“Fellow coven members, this is my new pet Eric.  Let’s see how well Eric follows commands.  Eric . . . take off your clothes and start humping my leg.”

Ever since last week, when Witchiepoo converted Eric into her personal slave, I’ve been pondering the important question of what I would do, were I ever lucky enough to have a Sexy Viking Vamp-esque man servant, who is trained to do whatever I tell him.  I came with a list of tasks I would have him perform, most of them X-rated . . . chief among them, “Shower Sex,” OBVIOUSLY!

Interestingly enough, you know what two things WEREN’T on that list:

(1) Wash your face; and

(2) Kill someone who’s already dead.

But, guess what?  Those are THE ONLY TWO THINGS WITCHIEPOO WANTED ERIC TO DO!

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Most of Witchiepoo’s fellow witches are appalled by her sheer lack of imagination.  They don’t think using your Sex Toy to kill a King in a public place is such a good idea.  Some of them even try to leave, but Witchiepoo magically locks the doors, so that they can’t.  Poor little witches.  Now, they are stuck in an old stinky magic shop with: (1) a wackadoo wench, who wouldn’t know a good time, if it bit her in the ass; (2) a VERY hungry vampire; (3) and, probably, only one bathroom.  Talk about a nightmare!

Still, the fact that Tara is miserable, makes me happy.  So, well played, Witchiepoo!

“Mommy’s a little busy right now, honey. Go play with your bunny . . . oops.”

SAM!  Get your head out of that little girl’s CROTCH!

Sam’s still at Luna’s house, trying desperately to get into her pants for the first time, despite the fact that Tommy already did so, while wearing his face.  But Luna isn’t really feeling up for sex.  She’s more concerned about the fact that her ex-boyfriend is terrorizing her daughter, and wants to KILL her current boyfriend.  Not about to let little, insignificant, things like that keep him from getting laid, Sam has the lame temporary kind of dumb brilliant idea to take Luna and her daughter camping with them.  After all, he is the owner of “multiple tents.”

“Hey Big Spender!  That’s a whole lotta . . . fabric”

Things are going pretty well for Sam on his little camping trip, with Luna and her kid just eating up Sam’s remarkable prowess for sleeping outside and peeing in the woods . . .

Oh, you have much better aim than your little brother.  I should have known that wasn’t you.”

But then things take a turn for the odd, when Luna’s little girl (her name’s Emma, by the way) gripes about wild bunny rabbits not letting her pet them, like the class pet bunny rabbits at school do.  So, what does Sam do?  He TURNS HIMSELF INTO A RABBIT, and let’s Emma pet him . . . like . . . A LOT.

“Daddy likes being pet . . .” 

Now, if you don’t think too hard about it, this is a super sweet gesture.  I mean, he made the kid happy, right?  Sure . . . but he also sat on her lap, and let her rub him all over.  Just sayin’ . . .

Things got even more inappropriate when Luna LEFT HER OWN DAUGHTER IN A TENT BY HERSELF to go screw Sam.  Yeah, because THAT’S safe, with a sadistic ex-boyfriend on the loose!

Not to mention the countless number of creatures and things that go “bump” in the night . . . something Sam and Luna undoubtedly won’t be able to hear, since they are too busy “bumping” eachother.  I mean, clearly, neither of these individuals has ever seen the Blair Witch Project . . .

Interestingly enough, while Sam and Luna are beating eachother off, Sam’s little brother Tommy is just plain getting beaten . . . (What else is new, right?)

Greasypoo versus Tommy/Sam . . . a match made in dog poopy

“How do you do, Greasypoo!”

The much-maligned Tommy Boy is busy writing Sam an apology/ goodbye letter on a check.  (Well, golly gee!  I guess really DID learn how to read!)   Then suddenly, the door opens, and Greasypoo comes crashing into Merlotte’s looking for Sam.  Greasypoo would very much like to invite Sam to an Ass Kicking.  So, Tommy, who LOVES Ass Kickings, like nobody’s business, decides to go in Sam’s place.  (How generous of him!)

It sure beats having to dress like THIS . . . 

Also in attendance at the Ass Kicking is Alcide, who, following his rejection by Sookie, has decided to become Trailer Trash Debbie’s wolfy pet, 100%.  And Trailer Trash Debbie wants Alcide to be involved with Greasypoo’s pack.  So . . . involved, Alcide must be!

“I will expect on a big hunk of raw meat on my doorstep, as payment for this . . .”

When Tommy/Sam arrives at the rumble spot, Greasypoo threatens him to stop screwing Luna.  Tommy/Sam cleverly remarks that “Sam” has neve even had sex with Luna (which, at this point in the story, was still true . . . for a few more minutes, anyway).  Unfortunately, for Tommy, the moron can’t keep his mouth shut.   And minutes later, he’s bragging about how HE (Tommy Merlotte) slipped Luna the hot skinwalker injection.  As expected, Greasypoo and his friends start kicking Tommy/Sam’s ass, immediately thereafter, despite promising Alcide that they wouldn’t.

“Oops!  My hand must have slipped . . . into your jaw . . . while clenched in a fist.” 

It’s ALCIDE who breaks up the fight, long enough for Greasypoo to realize he’s been beating up the wrong guy.

Now, here’s my question:  As a skinwalker, and a shapeshifter, can’t you shift into anyone or ANYTHING?  Why then is it that Sam and Tommy only seem willing to shift into lame THINGS and lame PEOPLE, respectively?   For example, we’ve seen Sam transform into a couple of pretty wimpy looking dogs, a fly, and a horny, possibly pedophillic, bunny.  So, why not a Lion, a Tiger, or a Bear, oh my!

Likewise, Tommy, so far, has transformed into Sam and Maxine Fortenberry.

  Admittedly, Maxine’s played some pretty bad ass Wii, during her Maenad possession days . . . So, that has to count for something.

But, if he knew he was going to be fighting Greasypoo on his brother’s behalf, why not transform into The Rock, or Vin Diesel, or at least, a WWF wrestler?  Heck, if I had to fight someone, I’d shift into that kid Emma, before I shifted into Sam!  At least SHE’S scrappy!

“I would shift into Cat Barbie!  Because Cat Barbie KICKS ASS!”

“Give me back my EVIL BABY, DAMMIT!”

Hoyt is having a BAD DAY!  He’s woken up with a MAD HANGOVER!  His house stinks of booze, body odor, and bad memories, of his recent breakup with Vampire Jess.  He throws her Twilight Book (haha!), Good Housekeeping Magazines, and various other pop culture paraphernalia, into a box labeled, “For you, Monster.”  And then a Possessed Lala, carrying an Evil Baby, waves a gun at his head, and tells him to get out of the house.  So, Hoyt listens . . . except . . . HE’S NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!

I said, NO PANTS, Hoyt!  Not NO SHIRT!  Get with the program! 

Jason gets the frantic call from a frustrated Hoyt, while he’s still questioning Terry and Arlene about their recently missing child.  The crew all decide to head to Hoyt’s house, to see if they can get Evil Baby back.  Andy benevolently offers to get Hoyt some pants, but forgets after slurping up some yummy V juice.

Funniest Addict Face EVER!

Back at Hoyt’s, Possessed Lala is still waving his gun at everybody who comes near him, and singing to Evil Baby.  He also won’t let any white people into the house.  This, of course, is highly inconvenient, considering that Tara and Lala may very well be the only African Americans in Bon Temps, unless you count the woman currently inhabiting Lala’s body, of course.

“It’s called affirmative action, b*&tches!  I’m just trying to prove a point!” 

Finally, after what seems like a pretty extended standoff, between Possessed Lala, and . . . well, everyone . . . Jesus arrives.

Just kidding!  It’s NURSE JESUS!

“Remember me?  I spent two episodes hanging out with Grandpa Goatlicker.  But I am back to save the day.  YAY!”

Jason, being Jason, wants to know if this is all some weird Sex Roleplay Thing he and Lala do together.  Jesus is not amused.  (But only because he doesn’t realize how much fun roleplaying could be during sex.)

“Don’t knock it, until you’ve tried it, Buddy!” 

As soon as he enters the house, and sees his boyfriend prancing around like a crazy lady, Jesus  immediately figures out what’s going on with Lala.  Apparently, Lala has been possessed by Crazy Eye Lady Mavis, because Mavis’ baby was taken from her, and killed in Hoyt’s house.  When Mavis tried to see the baby, the father panicked and killed MAVIS too!  The bastard then buried both bodies in front of Hoyt’s house, never too be found again  . . . until now.

“I brought back Crazy Lady’s spirit with this doll!  It’s like Child’s Play, only with southern accents, and less butchering.”

What finally clues Mavis in to the fact that this ISN’T her baby, or her body, is that, unlike Mavis, Lala has a weiner.

(Who knew?)

“AHHHH!  How could I make a baby with this?”  Mavis inquires hilariously.  (Well, Mavis, I hate to break this to you, but weiners are kind of required machinery in the baby-making process.)

Jesus, then instructs Hoyt and Terry to dig up Mavis’s decayed dead nasty baby, which she holds, as if it isn’t decayed, dead and nasty . . . you know, because SHE’S TOTALLY EFFIN NUTS  Then Jesus does some MORE magic, to send that b*tch back from whence she came.

Hasta la Vista . .  . you wackadoodle Ghost Mom, you!

In an oddly touching scene, Mavis thanks Lala, and heads up to Heaven, holding and singing to her no longer corpse-looking child.  Poor Heaven!  Now, they are going to have to listen to Mavis sing that AWFUL song, for all eternity.  Sounds more like Hell to me . . .

Speaking of Heaven and Hell . . .

Remember that time when Sookie dreamed she was on The Vampire Diaries?

“Bite me, Damon and Stefan . . . er . . . I mean Eric and Bill.”

Sookie’s napping on the couch (because, like I said, she never, ever works at Merlotte’s anymore), when she awakens clad in a red lace number that would make Vampire Katherine Pierce proud.

Her hair is also perfect and flowy, like the women on the cover of those romance novels.  Piping through the house is this weird music, that’s kind of a cross between the old Sex and the City theme song, instrumental music from old crime movies, and the type of tunes you’d hear in the background of commercials for feminine hygiene products . . .

Music to my ears . . . if I had any .  . . 

But WAIT . . . someone is at the door . . .

Hallelujah!  It’s non-amnesia Eric, with his sexy non-amnesia Eric hair, that cocky non-amnesia Eric look in his eye, and those tight fitting non-amnesia Eric clothes.  Him and Sookie start going at it on the couch, like only Sookie and NON-Amnesia Eric could (no Narnia Sex here!), when it turns out that Vampire Bill is watching the whole thing, like the creepy King Cockblock / vampire voyeur he totally is!

Oh, that’s right!  Now, I remember!  Sookie has BOTH Vampire Eric, and King Cockblock’s blood in her system, and both are dueling for control of her sex dream!

Forget SOOKIE!  These two should really considering f*&king one another!

Sookie sits these two naughty boys on the couch, and gives them the business.  She doesn’t want to belong to Eric OR Bill.  She wants them both to belong to her.  “Why choose one vampire over the other CHOOSE ERIC!  CHOOSE ERIC!  CHOOSE ERIC . . . (and maybe Alcide too!) when you can choose both, and experience, double the pleasure and double the fun?”  Sookie wonders.

And because this is HER dream, her boyfriends obey her every command, without putting up much of a fight . . .

See, Witchiepoo?  Now, SOOKIE is a woman who KNOWS how to use her man servants!  I suggest you take notes . . .

SOMEONE’S Going to Be Sore in the Morning . . .

Back at home, Nan is bawling her eyes out over being kicked out by Hoyt and rejected by Jason.  She’s also coincidentally reminding Nan Flanagan, why she never decided to become a maker.

“Could someone please turn off this Hallmark movie?  I’d very much like to return to my plans for world domination.” 

Meanwhile, Hoyt has just got his house back from Possessed Lala, and commands that his bestie, Jason, bring the “Monster Box” back to the “Monster.”  Jason balks at the idea of seeing Jess again, given all his .  . . urges, and tells Hoyt that it isn’t his place to do that.  But Hoyt replies, as his friend, it is exactly his place.

So Jason, winds up on Jess’ doorstep, looking fiinnnnnne in his leather jacket outfit, and looking strooooooong carrying the box on which he crossed out the words, “Here you go, Monster,” in an effort to spare Jess’ feelings . . .

Fortunately, there’s a solution to this problem . . . one that involves super raunchy sex in the back of a pickup truck with the Taylor Swift song “Haunted” inappropriately playing in the background . . .

Sorry Hoyt!

Speaking of post-coital . . .

Sookie and Trailer Trash Debbie . . . GO TEAM . . . HUH?

Sookie has awakened from her Dream Threesome, and is now wearing a sweatshirt I’m pretty sure I had in third grade . . .

“Hi, is this the Fashion Police?   I’d like to report myself for a gross violation of age-appropriate clothing.”

Trailer Trash Debbie is at the door.  And considering we last saw her, glaring at Alcide with wolfy eyes, and picking up V in a back alley, We are all thinking THIS CANNOT BE GOOD!

“Hiya, pal!  I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar, and rip your face off with my teeth . . .” 

Sookie seems pretty skeptical of Trailer Trash’s motives too.  However, when she reads her mind, Sookie comes to the conclusion that Trailer Trash’s motives are pure.  So, Sookie decides to let Debbie help her to find Eric . . .

To be honest, I don’t really buy this change in heart.  Could the “V” that Debbie took prior to arriving at Sookie’s somehow block her true thoughts from the fairy telepath?  Is she just going with a “keep your friends close, and enemies closer” philosophy?  Does she figure that if Sookie gets Eric back, she will finally leave Alcide alone?  Or is there a darker plan lurking beneath the surface?  I guess only time will tell.

We’ve still got our eye on you, Glow Eyes! 

But for now, Trailer Trash Debbie is functioning as Sookie’s sidekick.  She distracted Witchipoo at the coven, so that Sookie could see Eric, and learn what plans Witchipoo had in store for him.  When Sookie’s presence was exposed, however, it was oddly enough, Annoying Ass Tara, who helped Sookie get away.  She did this, by cleverly holding a gun to her head, and instructing her best friend to “jump her,” so that the escape looked like an “accident” on Tara’s part.

We still don’t like you, Tara . . . Sorry! 

Trailer Trash then drives Sookie to the Tolerance meeting, where all the poop is REALLY about to hit the fan . . .

So much for Vampire Tolerance . . .

Despite Bill’s pleas that the event be called off, the Vampire Tolerance convention (which only features two actual vampires) goes off without a hitch . . .

Oh, look, Nan stole Vampire Pam’s outfit!  No wonder she wasn’t in this episode.  She had nothing to wear!

 . . . that is . . . until Witchipoo arrives with Zombie Eric, and puts all the vampire sheriffs under her spell, so that the whole group of them are running around in public killing everyone that’s not, you know, DEAD already.

 “Hi!  Welcome to Witchipoo’s Slave Club!  My name is Zombie Eric, and I will be your King Cockblock killer, today!”

In the final seconds of the episode, Sookie dashes into the pavillion and warns Bill to run, just as Eric jumps at him with one word in his hazy, mostly, blank, amnesia-addled mind . . . MURDER . . .

And once again, Alan Ball has attempted to make us nervous by “threatening the life” of a character we know all to well WILL NOT GET KILLED.  What do you think, we were born yesterday?  LAME!  Can you say, CLIFFHANGER?

Be sure to tune in next week, when Eric almost definitely WON’T succeed in doing this . . .

 . . . Terry and V-addicted Andy will engage in the battle of the century, and, POSSIBLY, there will be a HUGE confrontation between former (?) besties, Jason and Hoyt, over the Pick-Up Truck F*&k heard round the world . . .

See ya then, Fangbangers!

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[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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17 responses to “Hot Butts, Pick-Up Trucks, and a Boy Named BEEEEEEEEELL! – A Recap of True Blood’s “Let’s Get Out of Here”

  1. East Coast Captain

    Awesome episode.

    Antonia, I sympathized with her but now its just instigating, turning vampires one of them I think is a century younger than Eric on a crowd of innocent people well there´s no coming back from that whatever Antonia gets she deserves and her lackey guy, all giddy about the mayhem he´s going to die a bloody death I can see it.

    The Jessica sex scene could have been more raunchy but I guess some actresses have no nudity clauses in their contracts. But one thing that puzzles me, she now lives in a big luxurious manor why do it in the back of a pick up truck?

    That threesome scene must have been akward for the three, Bill and Eric were so funny in that scene.

    Luna is a sexy MILF, whoa!

    • I agree, East Coast Captain. Given her past, Witchipoo absolutely had a reason to despise vampires. And yet, here she is, with her supposed “great love of humanity,” systematically orchestrating the murder of innocent humans at the hands of zombie vampires. Now she’s no better than her enemies, morally speaking.

      Hmm . . . I’m trying to remember if we saw Jess’ nude top half in the first dream sequence. I thought we did, but I guess we didn’t. Interesting. Regarding the whole Pickup Truck sex scene, here’s why I think they avoided having sex in King Cockblock’s castle: If you recall, Jason said to Jessica that he didn’t think it would be a good idea for him to come inside the house. Basically, he knew he would not be able to prevent himself from ravaging her, the minute he crossed the threshhold. At that point in the story, Jason was still trying to be “good” for Hoyt’s sake.

      However, as is evident from the Pickup Truck F*&k that followed, the second Jason said, “I can’t come inside,” Jessica decided to come OUTSIDE to meet Jason. The pickup truck was simply the closest relatively flat surface, nearby. :)

      Oh, and you are right. It probably was rather weird for the husband and wife (Steven and Anna) couple to be in a scene where they were BOTH rather intimate with another man. On the other hand, Stephen Moyer MAY have actually felt more comfortable with the threesome scene, than with the countless Seric sex scenes we’ve experienced this season, simply because, this time HE ACTUALLY GOT TO BE INVOLVED. :)

      You are right about Luna. She is super attractive, and exotic looking. It’s just too bad her storyline is so boring, because I feel like she has the potential to be a cool character. You know? ;)

  2. serendipity

    Hi Julie!

    I’m not even going to apologize anymore for just commenting on the one storyline here, though you do a great job with all of them. Honestly! Even if it isn’t reflected in my comment (you go ahead and blame that on my one-track mind ;))

    Yay for the return of non-amnesia Eric (albeit in a dream) :D! How we (well, I) missed that come-here-and-be-mine-look, those come-here-and-get-laid-clothes and the come-here-and-whatever-just-come-here-hair ;) ! Now if we could just go from non-amnesia to non-witchiepo-ssessed, everything would be just peachy ;) Well, perhaps not… since it was only a dream :(

    Boo for King Cockblock living up to his name, even in a dream! That was one HOT kiss! I imagine Bill wasn’t averse to slipping Sookie some blood earlier… He might have thought he’d found the perfect means to cockblock, did he? Let his blood do the dirty work for him… Only, shouldn’t Eric’s blood take precedence, being so much stronger because of his age?

    Anyway, I thought Sookie didn’t appear that surprised after the whole threesome-dream… And she did say she LOVED them both, which is NOT an automatic effect of the blood IMO. I thought the blood just created lusty feelings, not love. And on top of that, our Sookie is a pretty little liar, huh? Telling poor amnesia Eric that she wasn’t sure she’d still love him, and as soon as she gets the chance, who does she dream up? And says she’s in love with? Right! Not poor amnesia Eric! No, sir! Bad-boy Eric with the come-here-and-be-mine-look, those come-here-and-get-laid-clothes and the come-here-and-whatever-just-come-here-hair ;) Well, AND Bill, of course :( ;)

    LOL for the Kill Bill poster!
    Great recap!

    • Non-witchipo-ssessed! That word is full of awesomesauce! I may have to steal that from you. (I’ll give you a trademark on it, of course. ;))

      You know, it’s such a true testament to Alexander Skarsgard’s acting talents that the minute he walked into Sookie’s house in that dream, we all KNEW immediately that he was Old School Eric. I mean, sure, the fact that he was dressed like walking sex, and had walking sex HAIR certainly helped. But, before Dream Eric even opened his mouth (to stick his tongue down Sookie’s throat), you could tell exactly which incarnation he was. There was just something about the confident way he walked, and the dominating way he positioned on the couch. Most importantly, there has always been this intelligence in Old Eric’s eyes . . . this quiet way of subtly observing and analyzing everyone around him, through a lens that only 1,000 years on Earth can give you. The Viking Vamp has it. And Amnesia Eric lacks it, for obvious reasons.

      Not to go back to TVD ONCE AGAIN, but the Amnesia Eric / Non-Amnesia Eric “thing” we’ve had the opportunity to witness this season on True Blood, calls to mind, this little TVD featurette I watched today, which I thought you might enjoy as much as I did . . .

      Back to Sookie’s dream! You bring up a great point. As a Seric fan, I actually found it VERY encouraging that the man who showed up in Sookie’s dream was NOT Amnesia Eric, but the Old Eric we know and love.

      To me, this illustrates how Sookie really has ALWAYS loved Eric. She’s just been afraid to allow herself to admit her feelings, because of Eric’s various manipulations of her and generally bad acts, throughout the series. Much like her TVD counterpart, Elena, Sookie views herself as the morally righteous “good girl.” And a “good girl” should have a “good vamp” boyfriend to match, right?

      Sookie fears the part of herself that wants to be with the deliciously unpredictable, dark, cocky, and dangerous Eric Northman. The appearance of Amnesia Eric into her life, essentially allowed her the opportunity to have her cake, and eat it too. She got to have hot sex with this man to whom she’s always been attracted. But she also could lie to herself, and tell herself that the only reason she loves Amnesia Eric is because he’s essentially a different person than Old Eric . . . a “good and sweet vampire” which we all know, deep down, he’s not.

      But while Sookie may be able to lie to Amnesia Eric, and lie to her own CONSCIOUS mind, her subconscious mind knows better . . . ;)

      Team Seric, for the WIN! (Outta the way, King Cockblock!) :)

  3. Haha, you can’t really blame Sookie for not being at work, “Sam” (or really skinwalker Tommy) fired her ass.

    I didn’t like the episode, and that dream was lame. And did Debbie just point out to Antonia that Sokkie was behind her? Indicating she was out to get ther all along? In that case maybe mind reading doesn’t help if the other person thinks “nice thughts” really hard?

    Also lame to have a main character’s possible (not really) death as the cliffhanger for the third episode in a row… Step it up Alan Ball! Next episode looks good though, and I’m loving the Jason/Jessica storyline (he did really look good in that jacket)

    • Hey Linn! You are right, Sam/Tommy DID fire Sookie. I just assumed after she had that nice “hugging” session with real Sam, after that whole thing went down, that she would ask for her job back. And Sam would realize what Tommy did. Because, if I was Sookie, I sure as heck wouldn’t be HUGGING the person who fired me, while I’m busy eating cat food, because I can no longer afford to support myself. I’d say, “Give me my job back, asswipe. Then, we can hug.” :)

      Also, how come Sam hasn’t noticed yet that Sookie hasn’t come back to work . . . Oh wait . . . that’s right, she hasn’t worked more than two days in a row at Merlotte’s since Season 1. Nevermind . . . Come to think of it, maybe Tommy’s firing her wasn’t such a bad idea, after all. :)

      You know, I was REALLY confused by the whole Debbie Thing too. Now, that you’ve read the books, you’re probably in the same boat I am. I actually think this is one of those situations, along with the whole Jason as Werepanther thing, where Alan Ball is purposefully playing mindgames with the book readers, by regularly teasing us with things that SEEM like they are going play out precisely as they did in the book, and then having them NOT. The “flowers-giving” scene was a perfect example of this.

      Technically, if Debbie’s motivations are bad, Sookie SHOULD be able to see through them. That’s why I wondered whether Debbie’s taking the “V” had something to do with her ability to hide her true emotions, since Sookie can’t read the minds of vampires. But then I realized I was giving Trailer Trash Debbie WAY too much credit for her intelligence. LOL. :)

      As far as telling Witchipoo that she “brought her Sookie.” On one hand, you could interpret that as being part of Debbie’s malicious “Kill Sookie” plan all along. On the other, since Sookie didn’t seem to react badly to Debbie’s statement when she heard it, it could be argued that, since Witchipoo already SAW Sookie by this point, Debbie was just trying to save face, so Witchipoo didn’t put a spell on her. In that sense, Debbie was reacting in the same way that Tara did, acting like she was on Witchipoo’s side, on the surface, when, in reality, she was actually helping Sookie.

      I actually think, what Alan Ball has done with Trailer Trash Debbie’s character, as frustrating as it is sometimes, is one instance that is a slight improvement over the books. As a reader, I never quite understood how Alcide could CONTINUE to go back to Trailer Trash Debbie, when she was SO OBVIOUSLY a nutjob, with no redeeming qualties whatsoever. It made Book Alcide, who was, otherwise, a pretty decent guy, seem like a TOTAL mental midget . . . certainly, not someone smart enough to “rise within his werewolf pack” or help Sookie in the way that he repeatedly does.

      With THIS incarnation of Trailer Trash Debbie, on one hand, WE, as the viewers don’t trust her . . . and keep waiting for the CRAZY to come back out. But, at least, here, you can KIND of see what Alcide sees in her . . . or at least, what he SAW in her, before the V addiction, and the Sookie obsession, irrevocably broke something inside of her. So, it makes TV Alcide, look a little less moronic than Book Alcide. :)

      And yeah, this wasn’t my favorite episode either . . . For one thing, I’m pretty darn relieved to see the backend of the Evil Baby storyline. That’s for sure! :) More Seric (old school, Seric?), Jassica / Hoyt and snarky Pam . . . and less of everything else, please! That’s my wishlist for the rest of the season . . .

      • Linn

        Oh that Debbie is definitly up to no good… If she had good intentions she wouldn’t need V to get her through it. But yes, the TV version is actually better to keep us guessing exactly what she’s up to. I like it too!

        That Alcide… For all his good looks, he is really, really dumb. He KNOWS Debbie can smell Sookie on him, yet he gives no explenation. I would totally asume he was cheating too.

        Yes, I am also ready to have old Eric back, but I still hope he remembers his amnesia days. And Pam, moooooore Pam! I like TV Pam better than book Pam.

  4. Loved that badass Eric is the version in Sookie’s fantasy. She can deny it all she wants, but the softer side of Eric isn’t the only thing about him that intrigues her.

    I kinda love that in True Blood verse, tapping someone’s vein and drinking from them is a completely normal form of cheating, what with all this highly sexualised human-vampire blood swapping. Though Bill can keep his blood to himself, thank you very much!

    Loved the book continuity of Tara “thinking” at Sookie and this being a more direct form of telepathy than her just tuning into random thoughts.
    Debbie really must love Alcide for his mind, considering his wall of nakedness came at her and not only could she muster up a thought, but actually was upset about Sookie.

    I got irrational pleasure out of seeing Bill silvered, I’ll admit.

    Nan/Jess were awesome together, and especially love Jess draping herself across Nan’s desk in that really annoying way we all do when we want a good whine. Poor Jess need some Girl Talk time, and Nan is the next best thing to Pam ;)

    Hilarious recap and really loved the inclusion of the “it’s okay to love them both” GIF, especially as it conjured up THAT threesome image of the Vampire Diaries holy trinity. I’m sure you know the one I’m referring to ;)

    • Glad you picked up on that threesome picture . . . The Holy Trinity. I like that! :)

      You know, that picture was the first thing I thought of, when I saw Bill and Eric both going for Sookie’s neck, at the same time. And I think it’s kind of cool that us TVD fans share a sort of collective consciousness, when it comes to certain lines from the show, pics and GIFs. All we need is a little trigger, and suddenly we are all on the same page. Kevin Williamson sure has trained us well. Then again, he had a lot of practice with the whole Crying Dawson thing . . . ;)

      Great point about the whole “blood drinking” thing. Given the strong bonds that form between humans and vampires, as a result of blood exchange . . . and vampires’ tendency to feel a certain amount of possessiveness over those with whom they share blood, blood drinking really is, in many ways, a more intimate act than sex. And this, when you think about it, is really where Jessica’s and Hoyt’s problems really started.

      So, yeah . . . I guess drinking blood from a vampire that’s not your boyfriend IS cheating . . . On the other hand, if your vampire boyfriend isn’t around to give you blood, a Near-Death exception should probably come into play, don’t you think? ;)

      Though Pam and Jess are my favorite anti-mother / daughter relationship, I too enjoyed the whole Nan / Jess exchange. And, as awful as it sounds, I found myself totally relating to Nan in that scene. Does that make me a bad person? Probably . . . :)

  5. East Coast Captain

    Saw the Stefarine scene, shame it was deleted but I suppose they didn´t have enough space for it and deleted it.

    • I thought you would enjoy the scene. ;)

      It was nice seeing Stefan have the upper hand, for a change, here. After all, dream trickery and mental manipulation is typically more of a Damon or Katherine thing to do, whereas Stefan tends to solve his problems a more straightforward and “moral” way.

      I also thought it was interesting how Katherine’s dream manipulation of Stefan involved his sexual desires, whereas Stefan’s manipulation of Katherine involved her emotional ones. After all, it was probably much more humiliating for the typically stone-cold Katherine, to have her true “feelings” exposed than any part of her body.

      And since a vampire can manipulate what you see in a dream, but not necessarily, what you say and do, can’t it be, assumed, when taking both dreams in conjunction, that Stefan and Katherine DO, in fact, still possess hidden feelings of desire and affection for one another? ;)

      Something tells me that the person who removed THAT scene was a Stelena fan . . . LOL ;)

  6. Ali

    Hey Jules! I´m late again… Darn job that keeps us away from our mundaine duties like commenting on recaps. Anywhoo… I think I enjoyed the recap a lot more than the episode. I for one totally agree with you that the best part was seing the END of the superlame storyline of the singing/annoying mother and evil baby. Turns out he is not evil after all. Can we keep calling him evil baby? We all agree he´s superadorable, so this is a nickname born out of love :)

    And of course I´m up for the team of more Seric and Jassica and enough of everything else … Oh, and a little more of Pam, please

    I loved your comments on Linn´s words… And the way you always keep calling Trailer Trash Debbie like that. It won´t matter how she helps sookie… Once a Trailer Trash, always a Trailer Trash. Though it is refreshing to read your insights about the differences between tv trailer trash Debbie and book Trailer Trash nutjob Debbie… and tv alcide and book Alcide.

    And for Antonia´s double moral standards… off with her head already

    Finally… Did I mention I love u? Well I do and can´t wait for next week episode and recap

    • Awww, Ali. Your comments never fail to make me blush! :)

      You’ve got me. I’m psychologically incapable of retiring a good nickname. Once you’ve earned one from me, it sticks FOREVER. Thirty or so years could pass. And Evil Baby could end up becoming a cardinal or pope who brings about world peace. But he will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, be Evil Baby to me. :)

      Ditto for Trailer Trash Debbie. I guess you could take the girl out of the trailer, but you can’t take the trailer out of the girl, you know ;). That, and I still don’t trust her. Maybe it’s the Sookie Stackhouse book reader in me, but I just keep waiting for the Crazy Shoe to drop with TTD. ;)

      I’m excited for next week’s episode too! Here’s hoping it offers even more Jassica sex, Pam and Nan snark, and possibly, the death of Tara. OK, that last one was a stretch. But a girl can dream, can’t she? ;)

      • Ali

        LOL. Tara must die. She can change her sexual drives, her hair, her wardrobe… shes will always be as annoying as it gets

      • Hey Fangbangers! Your Episode 10 True Blood Recap, is on its way. It just got waylaid a bit, due to Hurricane Irene de-preparations. (My entire living room was on stilts and in trashbags! It was not pretty.) Of course, I blame King Cockblock. Clearly, this is his fault, as always . . . Oh, and Tara . . . I blame her too, obviously.

        Anywhoo, since I HAVE managed to get a fairly good portion of the recap written already, you can expect it to be posted by about 8 or 9 this evening . . . Thanks for being patient . . and for not eating me, putting a spell on me, or stealing my face, True Blood Style. It is all much appreciated.

  7. THIS IS THE BEST RECAP EVER. Period. I love the mixing of True Blood & TVD! TVD Blood anyone? Yes please I’ll have a glass.

    “King Cockblock” is my new permanent name for “My…Bill” & Alcide’s butt for the record. But Eric’s EVERYTHING ELSE #HotVikingLust

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Becca Leigh! I’m so glad you enjoyed the recap! I always love meeting fellow TVD and TB lovers. For one thing, we have excellent taste in television. ;)

      And I’m totally with you on Alcide’s Butt winning the Ass Contest, but the Viking Vamp sweeping the TB TV Boyfriend Competition, hands down. Do you think it would be possible to surgically place Alcide’s ass on Eric’s body? Science can do many wonderful things, these days . . . ;)

      Oh, and by the way, TVD Blood, would absolutely be the BEST TELEVISION SHOW in the WORLD . . . not to mention the BEST SOFT DRINK, EVER! Can we get a trademark on that phrase, please? I have a feeling it could make us very, very rich, someday! :)

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