“More of THAT Please!” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries “A Few Good Men”

 

Welcome back VD’ers!  (Don’t you like how I basically just called you all a bunch of venereal diseases?  Great way to make friends and influence people, huh?) 

It’s been WAY too long since we’ve had a “taste” of our favorite campy, bloody, teen drama, hasn’t it?  But, now, we are back, and (I think) better than ever . . .

There was a lot to love in this week’s “Back from Hiatus” installment of The Vampire Diaries!  For starters, we got a few GREAT booby shots of a Drunk Shirtless, Slightly Broody, and Highly Emotionally Volatile Damon Salvatore . . .

More of THAT Please!

We also got a drool-worthy, sexual tension-laced “shirt BUTTONING” scene between our favorite couple-not-yet-to-couple, Damon and Elena . . .

More of THAT Please!

(By the way, in addition to being AWESOME, shirt on AND shirt off, Damon also had the dubious honor of uttering my favorite quote from this episode, “Unrequited love sucks, man!”  — Great line.  But so untrue, Damon.  Unrequited love ROCKS . . . particularly when YOU are doing the loving!)

Then, there were not ONE, not TWO, but THREE senseless Deaths,  this episode . . . well, two-and-a-half, depending on how you felt about Alaric’s rebirth . . .

( . . . will live to write on chalkboards and be stultifyingly boring, ANOTHER DAY!)

More of THAT please!  (Well, more senseless DEATHS at least, less Alaric, he’s snoozy . . .)

Let’s not forget that tonight’s episode title was modeled after one of my favorite films . . .

“You can’t handle the TRUTH!”

More of THAT Please!

And, as if that wasn’t enough, we got Marissa Cooper’s Mom from The O.C.!

Much more of HER please!

(By the way, if there was ever an Emmy award for “Best Performance as a Slutty Trashtastic Kind-of-Bitchy Mom,” Melinda Clarke would win every year hands down.  Has she been typecast?  Absolutely!  But that doesn’t make her any less fabulous!)

So, without further adieu, lets take a peek at what happened on VD’s A Few Good Men . . .

A Few Good Lays . . .

If you didn’t think I was going to somehow find a way to include this picture in my recap AGAIN, you clearly don’t know me AT ALL . . .

When we first reunite with Damon, he is getting it on with a trio of drunken, horny, and “compulsed” Tri Delts (a REAL sorority, by the way, . . . I smell a Defamation Lawsuit!).  We quickly get the impression that this has been how Damon has been spending his hiatus time.  You GO DAMON!  The way I see it, the best way to get over an undead Vampire Bitch, who you’ve searched for, for about 100 years of your life, only to find out she DOESN’T want to be found by YOU, is to get UNDER someone else . . . or rather, in this case,  SOMEONE ELSES. 

Might I suggest the cast of Gossip Girl, DamonThey always seem up for a good roll in the hay  . . .

A Few Good Bings . . .

By the way, I found this picture on GOOGLE!   Put that in your pipe and smoke it, BING!

One of the things I am NOT liking about The Vampire Diaries of late, is its already burgeoning sell-out tendencies.  Seriously folks, how many times is our favorite television show going to double as an hour-long commercial for a certain search engine website that shall remain nameless? 

Is this supposed to be our punishment for having DVRs?  What’s next?  A discussion about herpes pills or “feminine hygiene” products?

“Aunt Jenna? Did you ever get that ‘not-so-fresh’ feeling?”

Anyway, shameless product placement aside, Elena and her Auntie are doing a little internet research to find out some important intel on Elena’s birth mother.  In our last episode, we learned that Elena’s birth mom and Alaric’s “deceased” wife shared the same name, Isobel.  This week, we learned that they are the same person (and are both played by Mia Kirschner)

“What can I say?  I get around . . .”

Elena and Auntie come across some old high school yearbook pics online of Elena’s mommy and her cheerleading friend, Trudie (Amanda Detmer), who, conveniently, currently lives just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Elena.  Stefan, hoping to protect Elena from learning about Damon’s involvement in Isobel’s disappearance, tells Elena to leave Trudie alone.  But Elena goes to see her, anyway.  Trudie, initially, seems friendly enough (if  you consider people who don’t invite you inside their home, spike your tea with vervain, hoping it will make you sick, and text cold-blooded killers to inform them of your arrival, friendly).  But, when Elena questions Trudie about her knowledge of vampires, the latter becomes really unwelcoming, and asks her to leave ASAP.

Unfortunately, for Trudie, she never gets the chance to send Elena the neighborly “I’m sorry for being a bitch to you,” apple pie, she would have sent, otherwise . . .

Always helpful in times like these . . .

 . . . because the killer she so brilliantly texted, comes to her house, just moments after Elena has left, pushes her down the steps, breaks her neck, and kills her.  Talk about UN-neighborly! (SENSELESS DEATH # 1)

A Few Good Boyfriends (with Moms that Hate You)

In other news, Matt’s and Caroline’s still-new relationship hits a bit of a road block when Matt’s Mommy (Melinda Clarke) returns to town and tells Caroline, in no uncertain terms, that she HATES Caroline’s guts.  So much for getting Mommy Dearest to fork over the cash for the upcoming nuptials . . .  ( SOMEONE’S going to be registering for their wedding gifts at the Dollar Store, in a few years . . .)

A Few Good Bachelor Brawls . . .

At the Town’s Founder’s Day Fundraiser, both Damon and Alaric put their very nicely-sculpted bodies up for auction.  (Is it too late for me to move to this town?)  Proving himself to be an even bigger D-Bag than we initially thought (but, a HOT d-bag, mind you), Damon inexplicably calls out Alaric during his bachelor speech, revealing, in no uncertain terms, how he gave Alaric’s wife the best lay of her life before she “died.”  (And you just KNOW that all that “sexual prowess” talk upped Damon’s auction price considerably . . .)

“It was for a GOOD CAUSE!”

Elena puts two and two together, and figures out that Damon had a hand in her birth mommy’s “death.”  She dashes out of the party in tears, with both Stefan and Damon at her heels.  (Must be nice, having hot guys always chasing you like that . . .)  Say what you will about Damon, but the look on his face when Elena confronts him about his murdering her mother is genuinely heartbreaking.  He really does have a soft spot for her . . . (swoon).

Later, Cold Blooded Killer Guy (CBK Guy for short), who Stefan instantly recognizes as being under vampire compulsion, warns Elena to stop looking for her mother.  Having delivered this Very Important Message,  CBK Guy walks into oncoming traffic and gets mowed down by a car.  (SENSELESS DEATH #2)  Stefan appears genuinely concerned for the zombie’s well being.  However,  Elena sees the death as an opportunity to get a free cell phone  . . . so she snatches the corpse’s.

“What?  Mine was running low on minutes!”

Back at home, Elena picks up her brand new cell phone and dials the last number called on it.  When a woman picks up, asking if “everything went as planned,” Elena utters “Isobel” into the phone.  The woman hangs up . . .

A Few Good Pieces of Jewelry

“They sure like their bling on this show . . .”

Back at La Casa de Damon, Alaric confronts the vampire about porking, and subsequently forking, his  loving wife.  As it turns out, Isobel was somewhat of a “vampire scholar” when she and Alaric were together back at Duke.  Isobel had traveled to Mystic Falls, convinced that she would be able to prove the existence of vampires there.  That was when she met, and screwed, Damon.  Damon and Alaric tussle for a bit, and Damon appears to puncture his lung, killing him.  (SENSELESS . . . SORT OF  . . .  DEATH #3) 

 Saintly Stefan then arrives on the scene.

I just figured it was high time that I included HIS pic in this recap.  I’m nothing, if not, fair, ladies . . .

Damon admits to Stefan that he didn’t kill Isobel, but rather, turned her into a vampire, because . . . “she was begging for it.”  (Spoken like a true rapist, Damon . . . it’s a good thing I like you . . . otherwise, you’d be dead to me, right now.  Oh, but wait . . . you ARE dead . . . so, nevermind.)

 Left alone with corpse Alaric, Stefan is alarmed to learn that Alaric is not-so-much dead.  At first, Stefan fears that Damon turned him into a vampire . . . and we all know THAT hasn’t worked out too well in the past.

R.I.P. Doubly Dead Vampire Vicki

And yet, Alaric explains that, before she disappeared, Isobel gave him this Big Ugly Ass Ring to protect him from the occult.  Because Alaric was wearing it when Damon “killed” him, it allowed him to “live.” 

So, let me get this straight, on this show we NOW have . . .

(1) a lapiz lazuli ring that vampires wear to allow them to go out in sunlight;

(2) a vervain necklace that HUMANS wear to prevent vampires from controlling their minds;

(3) a medallion that WITCHES wear to do spells and hurt mean vampires; and

(4) a Big Ugly Ass Ring that ALARIC wears to keep vampires from killing his boring butt.

This show is starting to look like the Home Shopping Network . . .

In the last moments of the show, we learn that Vampire Anna and her recently rescued Mommy, Vampire Crystal, are having a little Undead Reunion for fellow Tomb escapees at some house in Mystic Falls (including this unnamed hot African American vampire dude with gorgeous eyes, that I wouldn’t mind seeing again).  Could THEY be the ones behind that Cold Blooded Killer guy who did in Isobel’s high school bud, Un-neighborly Trudie?

Tune in next week, to find out.  See ya then, bloodsuckers!

15 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

15 responses to ““More of THAT Please!” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries “A Few Good Men”

  1. imaginarymen

    Best. Recap. EVER!!!

    OMG – I thought this show was frickin’ awesome -but your recaps make it even BETTER!!

    I’m terrible, I love Damon so much. Even when he does horrible, terrible things. I CHEER HIM ON! I can’t help it, it’s compulsion I tell you!

    And my fave line was not the unrequited one, but his response to Elena’s mention of her birth mother: “Ugh. Who cares?” BWAH!!!!

    The shirt-buttoning was totally hot, but I’m sorry – those “brothers” need to *not* have such intense conversations all up in each others faces close-talking! YOWSA!

    I too love Julie Cooper-Nichols. She’s younger than me and always plays the mom of teens but she’s fantastic. I can’t wait for the hook-up w/ Damon. I bet those two have crazy good chemistry together.

    This is like my favorite new sentence in the world:

    “Drunk Shirtless, Slightly Broody, and Highly Emotionally Volatile Damon Salvatore”

    😀

    Hilarious – I too was crushing on the Zombie Vampire Boy – so pretty! And thank you for identifying Mia Kirschner – I thought that was her. Good casting for Elena’s mom – she even sounded like her. I’m fascinated by what the whole story is there.

    Your tags freakin’ CMU too – “hit by a car”, “Shirtless Damon”, and one of my fave topics in the world “twenty-somethings playing teens”

    I don’t know about you, but I refuse to delete any eps from my DVR. I can’t do it. I have to wait till it comes out on DVD and then clean out my queue.

    It’s Damon. He made me do it. He’s wicked.

    ;-P

  2. Thanks so much, Amy! Your praise really made me smile. I typically end up writing most of my show recaps sometime between 1 and 2 am. So, when I wake up in the morning and, sneak peeks at them, while at work, I am generally surprised that they make any sense at all, let alone that people actually enjoy them . . .

    You have also taught me to have fun with my tags. I used to just use them to try to get more hits on my site. Now I see they can be a source of comic relief too (as well as a platform for my personal vendettas, like the one I’m starting to have against Bing . . .) 🙂

    For the record, based on your Twitter pic, you look WAY younger than Julie Nichols Cooper. 🙂 I love Vampire Diaries, but I must say, as an avid student of “actors ages,” the casting on VD is a bit hinky. I am all for casting twenty-somethings as teens. (It makes me feel better about my age to know that in some strange universe, people might still buy me as a high school student). However, when shows do it, they should really age up the parents appropriately . . .

    Did you know that the actress who plays Aunt Jenna, is only two years older than Nina Dobrev? I always thought she looked kind of strange hooking up with Alaric, and the age difference probably has a lot to do with that.

    Damon’s “Ugh, who cares?” line WAS pretty awesome, especially because he followed it with a surprisingly sweet line: “She left you. She sucks” or something to that effect. (Then again, maybe I only feel that way because he compulsed me too . . .

    Can I tell you a secret (which is not so much a secret anymore)? I don’t have DVR . . . Shhhhh don’t tell anyone. Thus, my episode and scene rewatching sessions are generally reserved for Hulu and YouTube.

    Happy Friday, and I hope you are feeling better. (I hear vampire compulsion has major healing qualities ;)). I was super excited to hear your thoughts on this epi . . .

    Talk to you soon!

  3. imaginarymen

    Are you on Twitter? What’s your name?

    Yeah I shocked my boss today w/ my age. She actually stared at me with her mouth wide open for 5 minutes. It was hilarious.

    That whole shirt-button scene was fantastic. He lurrrrves her! Oh and how could I forget my OTHER fave Damon line “Where did OUR girlfriend go?” (mb paraphrasing, I was busy Squeeing at the “our” and Stefan didn’t even blink!)

    I also really liked that Stefan is still, after all this time and terrible things Damon has done, *still* is holding out hope that he’ll change. That was kinda sweet.

    I really appreciate them NOT making me hate Stefan. Being trained in Dawson-loathing I was all set to dislike him, but he’s really cool and I love when he’s all threatening to people (like warning Alaric to leave Elena alone). I know. I have issues. Stupid hot shirtless vampire boys making me forget my principles.

    I can’t stand Aunt Jenna. I would trade her for Alaric and his boring blackboard writing any day.

    I only got DVR last fall and now I would jump out a window if I had to give it up.

    Keep up the awesome work. I was bummed last night that I couldn’t check here bc I hadn’t watched yet and didn’t want to be spoiled.

    • Hey again.

      I’m not actually on Twitter myself, but I do read postings on occasion. Plus, I saw your Twitter posting on your blog. You know, the one with the kickass Craig Ferguson Tweeting song? (loved that!) 🙂

      I can’t really hate Stefan either. He’s WAY less whiny than Dawson Leary, and WAY more emotive than the lackluster Vampire Bill on True Blood (who, SUCKS even more in the book series, by the way, in more ways than one.)

      Another reason I can’t hate Stefan, is that for a brief period of time, Paul Wesley (who used to be Paul Wasilewski btw) attended my high school (Marlboro High School in NJ). 🙂 He was already acting on soap operas then, and, I think, was in private school most of the time. However, I do remember a distinct few months when he was my Physics lab partner. No joke. Pretty cool, right?

      I doubt he remembers, but it makes me feel moderately famous by association, anyway :). He was actually REALLY nice, and very un-D baggy. So, while my TV heart will probably always be with Damon, I still have a soft spot for Stefan / Paul . . .

  4. imaginarymen

    You were lab partners with Stefan Salvatore and I’m just hearing this NOW?!??!!

    That’s so cool!!

    If you read my “felt up by a TV Star” post I’ll share my HS “fame” story!

    • Yep! 🙂 It’s just too bad that Elena and Stefan met in HISTORY class. If they had a “prophase, metaphase, anaphase” moment like Twilight’s Edward and Bella, I could have totally imagined myself as “the motivation for that scene.” 🙂 I would have lived off the fumes of fame for YEARS! (And possibly written my own VERY SHORT “tell-all” book.)

      Technically, “prophase, metaphase, and anaphase” are from Bio, not Physics, but still . . .

      • imaginarymen

        That is so funny bc when you said he was your lab partner I TOTALLY thought of frickin’ “Twilight”!!

        Do you have a yearbook photo?? Obviously he didn’t pose in an undershirt or anything. Right?

        ;-p

  5. I love damon,he is so hot! ive never liked a guy just for his looks but i think im in love!i love how he controls everything but im not sure if i like this new softer side of him.i liked it better when Damon was really bad and Stefan was nice.im not going to say he was good boy or stuff cuz i get that enough frompeople.that im innocent

    • Hey Anna,

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting! You’ll find A LOT of Damon fans at this site! Ian Somerhalder just MAKES this role, in my opinion. Aside from being hot, he’s just an amazing actor. My absolute favorite Damon scene from TVD is the one where he dances with Vicki (open shirted, of course). I love when she says to him, “You are so hot,” and he says “I know!” (Oh . . . and then he breaks her neck and steps over her lifeless body.) I must have watched that scene on YouTube about 20 times!

      Like you, I’ve always had a soft spot for the “bad boys.” I agree that the writers shouldn’t make Damon “too soft.” But I still think they will keep him edgy in the future. His concern for Elena, just makes him more complex, in my opinion. He’s a “bad boy” with a “good center.”

      Thanks again for commenting! I can’t wait until this coming Thursday. It looks like it will be another great episode!

  6. omg or shouls i say oh my fucking god he looks hot

  7. Hi, awesome article! love TVD – can’t wait til season 2 already!! gotta wait ages for it to come out on dvd here in australia though. it’s killing me!

    • Hey CrAZychicke! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I’m so glad you liked my recap! If you’re up for it, you can find my TVD recaps for more recent episodes, by scrolling through the “Categories” section of my blog (It’s on the right hand side). Just click on “The Vampire Diaries” and you can scroll through all of them.

      TVD has quickly become one of my favorite shows on television today! I’m with you. Season 2 can’t come fast enough, as far as I am concerned.

      So, you’re from Australia. I’m a little jealous, I’ve always wanted to travel there, but I’m not sure I will ever get the chance.

      Has Season 1 of TVD aired in its entirety yet where you are from? If so, maybe you will get to watch Season 2 in the fall at the same time it airs in the U.S. If not, there is always someone posting the episodes on YouTube right after they air. So, if you’re patient, and don’t mind watching the show in parts, you can probably find what you are looking for online.

      There are a few Canadian shows I watch, that I have to do that for. I love being able to see a show before the majority of my country sees it!

      Thanks again for your kind words, and best of luck finding those Season 2 TVD episodes this coming fall :).

  8. McFrogger96

    Thanks for the info, its rather helpful! And “Damon inexplicably calls out Alaric during his bachelor speech, revealing, in no uncertain terms, how he gave Alaric’s wife the best lay of her life before she ‘died.’ ” WELL PUT!!! 🙂

    • Hi McFrogger96! (Awesome name, by the way!) Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I really loved all the scenes between Alaric and Damon in this episode . . . in ALL the later TVD episodes, actually.

      I’ll admit that, at first, I wasn’t all that enthused with the Alaric character. I thought he was kind of dull, to be honest.

      But once they started pairing him with Damon, the character’s likeability increased exponentially, in my opinion. Ian Somerhalder and Matt Davis have really great onscreen chemistry, as bromantic buddy cop-types. Their witty repartee makes me smile, whenever they are in a scene together. And, of course, the fact that they are both so easy on the eyes certainly doesn’t hurt! 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s