Move Over Vampire Bill! Sookie Stackhouse has a NEW man . . . or, should I say, DOG!

Sorry, Mr. Compton!  It appears you’ve been replaced . . .

Well, that certainly didn’t take very long!  Bill Compton has only been missing a few days, and it seems as though his former main squeeze, Sookie Stackhouse, has already moved on to another man.  And who is our favorite Merlotte’s waitress “getting jiggy” with, you ask? 

Could it be Eric “I can literally screw for hours” Northman?

Nope!  You’re as cold as ice . . .

Is it shapeshifting bar owner, Sam Merlotte?

Uh, uh . . . but getting warmer . . .

Perhaps, it’s the new werewolf in town, Alcide Herveaux?

Noooooo . . .  but you’re EVEN warmer now .  . . Guess again.

Maybe it’s her BROTHER, Jason Stackhouse?

EWWWWW!  No, you sicko!  What’s wrong with you?

Give up, yet?  Well, here’s the scoop!  Apparently, Bon Temps’ own Sookie Stackhouse has recently been seen getting “up close and personal” with a certain rapper, by the name of . . . SNOOP DOGGY DOGG!


Who’s next . . . Lafayette and Eminem?


Filed under True Blood

9 responses to “Move Over Vampire Bill! Sookie Stackhouse has a NEW man . . . or, should I say, DOG!

  1. Amazon Annie

    Hilarious! And I’m thinking Snoop Dogg cannot only do it in the day time, but I think he’d give Eric a run for his money is “staying power”.
    As far as Lafayette and Eminem….Well if you saw the famous award show…Eminem already played around with the other team when Bruno came down from the sky and offered Em his naked butt. Em acted all huffy and walked out but who knows…maybe he’d like Lafayette better! I know I would! lol Thanks for the laughs!

    • You are absolutely right, Amazon Annie! The Men of Bon Temps may have Snoop beat in the looks department. However, unlike SOME of them (cough, Bill, cough) the Dogg definitely seems like he has the ability to “go long,” in more ways than one . . . 😉

      I LOVED the lyrics of this little parody rap, particularly how Snoop gave a shout out to (and simultaneously denigrated) each of the show’s main characters.

      “Bill isn’t True Blood.”
      “I won’t be like Eric, and make you drink blood.”
      “Sam ain’t a man, he turns into a bitch.”
      “I’ve got more [expletive] than Jason.”

      Oh, and my personal favorite, “Bring Tara. I’ve got plenty of Eggs for her to eat . . . topped with a ton of cheese and grits!”

      And, Lafayette is a hottie! If Eminem rapped a love song, in his honor, I would DEFINITELY shell out a $1.00 to buy the single on ITunes! 🙂

  2. I’m gonna be honest with and say I could get pass the first two minutes without laugh like a crazy women. I didn’t even ssee the whole things.

    Like did Snoop really sing this? *shakes head* Lmafo.

    Amazing what sell. Lafayette and Eminem, I guess we have wait and see.

    • It was AWESOME, right? Who knew Snoopy D was such a big fan of the show?

      I know it wasn’t in any of the books, but if Alan Ball is smart, he’ll have Snoop Dogg do a cameo in Season 3, as the “Alpha Dog” in a rapping werewolf pack that includes: Eminem, Jay Z, 50 Cent, Dr. Dre and Drake (I know Drake’s not really on the same level as these guys yet. But I’ve liked him since his Degrassi days. :))

      Just imagine how much money they’d make on the Season 3 soundtrack!

      Now here’s the big question: who says Sookie’s name better, Vampire Bill or Snoop Dogg? Quite the toss up, as far as I am concerned . . .

      • Alan Ball created Jessica character… So who knows Snoopy and Co might be nxt. I like Drake with or without Degrassi. You right not on the same level but sill. He can be like a little (sort or ) pup.

        Ummm… ERIC lol Just cuz I love Alex so much.

  3. wow this was hilarious and to see Snoop get all True Blood is a sight to see maybe he and the dogg pound can be a musical guest in Fangtasia LMAO!!

    oh gawd Eric *drools* that should be the name of a song i write ^_^ lololol
    these blogs are the more hilarious blogs ive ever read keep up the good work

    • Awww, thanks so much for your sweet comment, Janies118!

      The fact that Snoop’s a TB fan makes seem him even cooler, in my estimation. And I’ve always been somewhat of a “Dogg Pound” fan! 🙂

      And you are right! Snoop would be an awesome musical guest at Fangtasia, or Merlotte’s, or maybe even that new werewolf bar they keep showing in the previews. TB has a great soundtrack, but live musical guests is definitely something the show has been lacking of late.

      This can be the start of a whole series of True Blood themed songs! After all, wouldn’t rock out to a song entitled “Oh, Eric!” or “Oh, Jason Stackhouse!”? 🙂

  4. imaginarymen

    Thank you!!

    I heard about this the other day then lost track and forgot to watch it.

    “I get more BLEEP than your brother” BWAH!! And As IF ;-ppp

    On Twitter the other day Sam Trammel said getting called a bitch by Snoop was the highlight of his year!

    • Happy to fulfill your “Oh Sookie!” needs, Amy! 🙂 And you are right. I am pretty sure NO ONE gets more BLEEP than Jason Stackhouse. (By the way, WHY was there no Shirtless Jason in this music video? All of the other main TB men were represented, but no Jason. Clearly, Snoop was feeling intimidated by all the Dumb Hotness ;).

      In all fairness, though, I fell a bit in love with Snoop, after watching this video. How many other rappers would cop to being fans of a show that features THIS MUCH country music, and takes place THIS deep in the south?

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