Anatomy of a Trailer – Burlesque

The way I see it, Burlesque, the upcoming movie / musical starring Christina Aguilera, in her big screen debut, will either be truly spectacular . . .

 . . . or ridiculously bad.

The film follows Ali (Aquilera), as she escapes from whatever podunk town she came from, and heads off to Hollywood with big dreams and little cash.

View from a dirty bus window.

She finds a job as a waitress at a struggling night club, called Burlesque Lounge, run by Tess (Cher).  And . . . well, I’ll let you see for yourself .  . .

:32 – “When you are putting on your makeup, it is like you’re an artist.  But instead of painting a canvas, you are painting a face.”

 . . . or, in Cher’s case, a face made of canvas.

So, after seeing Cher in this trailer, I’ve come to two conclusions: (1) She looks pretty good.  Her face really hasn’t changed that much since the 90’s . . .

(2) The reason Cher’s face hasn’t changed since the 90’s, is that it hasn’t moved since then.  Did you watch that scene where she was putting on her makeup?  I felt like I was watching an expert ventriloquist!

Bet you can’t guess which one is real?

:49 – “Great enthusiasm, terrible timing.”

It looks like Stanley Tucci will be playing the role of the “man behind the older woman” . . .

 and the “staunch supporter / behind the scenes mentor” of the younger one. 

It’s The Devil Wears Prada all over again.

:57 – Kristen Bell is in this movie!

I heart her, even when she plays mean and unlikeable characters . . .

  . . . and it seems like she will be playing one here too.

1:02 – “The question is, do you have the talent?  Because you’re on . . .”

Hey, that was Cam Gigandet!

What?  You don’t remember CAM?  Sure you do!  He was the douche responsible for Marissa Cooper’s death on The O.C.  . . .

 . . . and the douche who wanted to beat Sean Farris to a pulp in Never Back Down .  . .

 . . . and the douche who wanted to eat Bella in Twilight . . .

In fact, Cam’s “Douching Schedule” was SO uncompromising, that he rarely had time to put on a shirt . . .

 .  . . which is why I love him!

1:12 – “What happened to all the great dancers in L.A.?” 

             “They’re all Dancing with the Stars.

I think this was meant to be somewhat of an inside joke, as Dancing with the Stars’ Julianne Hough is said to have signed on to  this film.

It seems a little odd that they didn’t put her in the trailer, though.

1:17 – “What is she doing up there?”

The Genie in a Bottle dance, perhaps?

1:27 – “Nobody can tell you.  You gotta make me believe that you belong on that stage.  That it’s yours, and that nobody can take it from you.  Now you want to show me something?  Show me THAT!”

WOW, Cher, I’m so inspired now!

I might even start taking violin lessons — on a tiny violin, kind of like the one I heard playing in the background, during that speech you just made.

1:46 – And there are those infamous Aguilera pipes we’ve come to know so well. . .

Too bad she’s dressed like a bachelor party stripper . . .

1:48 – OMG!  It’s Alan Cummings!

This guy kinda scares me.   But I can’t remember why . . .

Now I remember . . .

1:51 – McSteamy ALERT!  McSteamy ALERT!

Hold on to your panties, ladies.  Because they are about to fall . . .

2:07 – “Clearly, one of us has underestimated the other.”

Oooh!  I smell a Cat Fight!  And I don’t know about you, but my money is on Veronica Mars!

She’s small, but scrappy.  Then again . . .

This could actually be a real toss up.

2:16 – Aww Cam!  I knew you wouldn’t let me down!

2:24 – “Alice?  Well, welcome to Wonderland.”

Burlesque dances into theaters on November 24, 2010 (Thanksgiving).  Will YOU see it?

[www.juliekushner.com]

11 Comments

Filed under Burlesque, Movie Trailer Recaplets

11 responses to “Anatomy of a Trailer – Burlesque

  1. Carol

    Probably going to watch it just because of Cam Gigandet and Kristen Bell.

    ps: He is the reason to why I watched Twilight.

    ps2: I miss Veronica Mars.

    • Both very good reasons to watch! 🙂

      I ADORED Veronica Mars! Logan and Veronica remain in my Top 5 TV Couples of all time. (With a Ship Name like LoVe, how could they NOT?) And even though the show’s third season wasn’t quite on par with the spectacular first two, I was REALLY bummed that Rob Thomas’ 4th Season FBI concept didn’t get picked up.

      Plus, I had NO CLUE Kristen Bell could dance and sing! Go figure! Although, I guess she DID sing in that one Veronica Mars episode. I don’t think that counts, though . . .

      Ahhh, Cam. (Sigh) You know, I didn’t even recognize him at first, when those initial Twilight trailers came out. Who knew a long wig could make a person look so different? But those abs don’t lie . . . 😉 Here’s hoping he stays half naked for a least a quarter of the film.

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Carol – and for having such spectacular taste! 🙂

  2. imaginarymen

    This CANNOT possibly be a real movie???! Is this a real movie?!?? It looks so spectacularly cheesy and ridiculous like someone MADE IT UP!!!

    And do we even need Christina Aguilera anymore?

    • If they dethawed Cher from her cryogenically frozen state to make this trailer, I’d say the film is real. 🙂

      I feel like if they ever did a straight-to-video sequel for Moulin Rouge, this is what the trailer for that film would probably look like.

      That being said . . . Kristen Bell = my girl crush and Cam Gigandet = WOOHOO! YUMMY! YEE HAW! So, it can’t be ALL bad, right? 😉

      I am also a little curious to see whether Christina Aguilera can actually act . . . but that’s just me.

  3. tyluv3

    I WANT TO SEE IT, ANYTHING WITH CHRISTINA AGUILERA SHOULD BE GOOD SHE DOESNT SEEM LIKE A BAD ACTRESS

    • Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, tyluv3! 🙂

      The verdict is still out for me as to whether Christina Aguilera can act, as well as she can dance and sing. But one thing is for sure, THIS movie is going to have a KICKASS soundtrack! I even liked the “Burlesque” song they sampled for us in the trailer.

      Hmmm . . . I wonder if that’s available for download yet. 😉

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  6. Kevin Bouchatrd

    just saw it !! IT WAS AMAZINGLY GOOD !!!! and christina IS AWESOME too bad for the haters 🙂

    • Hey Kevin! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I’m so glad you liked the movie. Actually, I will probably be seeing Burlesque tomorrow, myself. (My aunt is a tad Cher obsessed. ;)) So, I’m happy to hear it (and Christina) exceeded your expectations. I’ll let you know what I think . . .

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