Anatomy of the PERFECT Emmy Opener

I know, I know!  By now, most of you have probably ALREADY seen Jimmy Fallon and Company’s surprisingly catchy cover of Bruce Springstein’s classic Anthem to Athleticism, “Born to Run,” which kickstarted the broadcast of this past Sunday’s 2010 Emmy Awards.  However, believe me, when I tell you that it deserves a second viewing.  Only then, can you truly capture EVERY single delicious morsel of its hand-clapping, booty-shaking, celebrity-crooning, awesomeness!  Fortunately, TV Recappers Anonymous is here to help you to break it all down . . .

Let’s re-watch, shall we?

:11 – The first step in creating the PERFECT Emmy Opener is to commandeer the cast of a new hit show to star in it with you.  If that cast just so happens to be a bunch of attractive twenty-somethings, who can sing and dance like nobody’s business, so much the better!

:38 – Now you’re going to need a gimic to tie it all together.  You can’t just have a bunch of people singing on stage for NO REASON, can you?

That will work!

:42 –  Cue the cutesy title card . . .

:57 – Anything starring Tina Fey is an automatic success.  So, it’s best to sign her up early.  Her schedule always fills up fast.

1:15 – Now, everybody pretends they DON’T watch reality television.  However, secretly, they all LOVE it.  So, a reality show-themed punchline is always sure to win a few laughs.

Bad-dancing, bad hair-having, babymaker, Kate Goselin is a TRIPLE THREAT (at least, in terms of living punchlines)!

1:34 – Every opening Emmy number needs its hotness quotient fulfilled . . .

A Booty Shaking Jon Hamm?  YES, PLEASE!

1:48 – How about a Booty Shaking Jon Hamm doing the “hippity hop” with Betty White?

1:53 – Or, perhaps, a Booty Shaking Jon Hamm BUTT HUMPING Betty White?

Even better!

2:11 – Let’s throw in a shot of Jimmy Fallon getting slushied, shall we?

2:15 – But who can we have throwing the Slushie at Jimmy?  I know . . . Jane Lynch, in her bright red track suit-wearing excellence, of course!

2:24 – Let’s Slushie Tina Fey TOO, for good measure!

2:44 – Throw in the most loveable former – Lostie on the PLANET, Jorge Garcia . . .

2:52 – . . . and a certain VERY lucky star of The Vampire Diaries (who gets to lock lips with IAN SOMERHALDER and PAUL WESLEY, on a daily basis) .  . .

3:01 –  . . . oh, and that guy from The Soup TOO!

3:44 – We all KNEW Nina Dobrev could sing . . .

 . . . she was in that American Mall musical, back in the day . . .

3:47 – Wait a minute . . . HURLEY can sing TOO?

4:05 – And Don Draper can sing?  (Am I the only one that can’t sing?)

Nice hat, Chris Colfer.

4:17 – TINA:  “Are there pants for this?”

Is that The Grinch costume?

4:23 – Tim Gunn makes EVERYTHING work!

4:26 – Let’s throw in an ode to a classic album cover . . .

Nice BUNS!

4:28 – OK, everyone . . . strike a pose!

It’s time for this baby to go LIVE!

5:02 – Randy Jackson says, “That’s cool, DAWG!”

5:20 – Show us your most adorable dance moves .  . .

6:00 – Are you ready for the BIG finish?

6:03 – The crowd GOES WILD!  They LOVED IT . . .

6:06 –  . . . even THIS GUY . . .

Now, THAT’S how you create the PERFECT Emmy opener.  Any questions?

[www.juliekushner.com]

9 Comments

Filed under Emmy Awards, Glee

9 responses to “Anatomy of the PERFECT Emmy Opener

  1. I haven’t watched the Emmy’s (GASP! I know I know…) but I can always depend on you for highlights/great recaps! Thank you!

    • Thanks so much, diplomaticwife! 🙂

      Don’t feel bad. I actually didn’t get to watch the whole Emmy Awards either. *blushes* I only watched the first hour, and a bit of the red carpet ceremony.

      (With both True Blood and Mad Men airing during those hours, it made for quite a busy night of TV watching for me. :))

      But, of course, I am happy to help out my fellow TV-watching fans, in anyway I can! 🙂 From what I saw of the Emmys, Jimmy Fallon did a great job as host. Plus, the show was well-produced, and didn’t drag on quite as long as previous broadcasts, which is always a good thing.

      As far as the rest of the Emmys, maybe we can both catch the full Emmy broadcast online, and fast-forward through all the dull parts? 🙂

  2. Amazon Annie

    You are so right KJewls. The Emmys were fine, but as usual there were plenty of dull parts to fast forward thru. I often think they should ask all the nominees for a list of whom they would like to thank, should they win. Then you could roll the list across the screen like credits while the happy winner say an excited 10 second acceptance speech. Thanks for the replay of the opening. I loved it on the emmys and even better now. Keep up the good work. Your blog is often the best part of my day. Hmmmm should I be embarrassed that a blog is the best part of my day…Nah….not when its yours.

    • Amazon Annie, you may have just SAVED awards season! I know you were probably kidding, but I LOVE your “rolling credits acceptance” speech idea! The problem with acceptance speeches is that, as viewers, we can certainly understand that A LOT of people deserve thanks for a particular actor’s or actresses’ win. In fact, it would be totally rude of the winner NOT to thank those people.

      But long rambling lists of script supervisors, key grips, and agents, dogs, cats, and little kids who “should be in bed by now” do not exactly make for exciting television. Using YOUR method would allow everyone who deserves to be thanked to receive credit, eliminate embarrassing “thank you” omissions by the actor, in the heat of the moment. AND . . . this is really the best reason of all . . . it would free up time for the winner to do the things that us fans actually LIKE to see. (jumping up and down, crying, being drunk, making inappropriate off-color jokes, and making even more inappropriate political statements).

      EVERYBODY WINS!

      I’m honored to know that my little posts improve your day, Amazon Annie. Your comments certainly improve mine. 🙂

  3. imaginarymen

    This was really really excellent, and that’s from someone who worships the ground NPH walks on and thought his open last year was pretty damn fantastic.

    I kept screaming the names: “Tina!! Joel!! Elena!!! OMG it’s HURLEY!!!!”

    I really detest She Who Shall Not be Named but has 8 Children and an Evil Attitude so I wish they’d used some other reality flunky in that spot.

    Also I think this made me fall in love with Jon Hamm ;->

    Anything w/ Tina Fey + Jane Lynch = Made of Win!!!

    • “In love with Jon Hamm,” you say? Enough to start watching Mad Men, perhaps? 🙂 You know, there’s no new episode of True Blood this week . . . so . . . 😉

      10 p.m. Sundays, AMC – check out the Dapper Don Draper, IN THE FLESH! 🙂 (My apologies for the plug. I just couldn’t help myself.)

      I’ve never been a Kate Gosselin fan either. Maybe they should have used Snooki from the Jersey Shore? Or a female Oompa – Loompa? Same difference? 🙂

      Now if we can just get all of the stars of the Perfect Emmy Opener (except Kate Gosselin, of course) to guest star on Glee. THAT would be TRUE perfection!

  4. Pingback: Shut up and SING! It’s almost time for Season 2 of Glee! | TV Recappers Anonymous

  5. Carol

    I laughed so hard watching this. I can’t even. Whoa.

    This is fantastic! Thank you for this recap.

    ps: Nina jumping into the scene. I had to rewatch that part again and again and again, it’s hilarious.

    • Thanks, Carol! I’m so glad you liked the video and the recap.

      So . . . you watched that “Nina Jumping” scene over and over again, huh? Perhaps, I could help in that regard. 😉


      GIFSoup

      It was truly a PERFECT opening number. I pity next year’s host for having to beat it.

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