Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “By The Light of The Moon”

“Now, Caroline, I know you’re on the run from a bloodthirsty werewolf right now, but would you mind telling me who styles your hair?  That Medusa look you are sporting now is simply TO DIE FOR!”

Dreamy Doppelganger Tomb Sex, Magical Orgasms, deals made with the Devil himself, hot shirtless sweaty werewolf transformations galore, a Death Bite, and a Crying Kat, what more could a fangirl want out of a mid-season finale?

(Well . . . aside from THAT, of course. ;))

(And that. ;))

Tonight’s TVD installment definitely brought the excitement, and the drama, as the show’s writers got all of their characters to exactly where they need to be, for the second half of the Season.  Let’s recap, shall we?

“Is that wolf hair on your back, or are you just happy to see me?”

When the episode begins, Tyler the Super Masochist is rewatching the Snuff Werewolf Porn his Uncle Mason left for him in the S&M Dungeon of Love Lockwood Werewolf Hideaway.  He calls Mason, who he believes to be in Florida (instead of . . . you know . . . dead . . . like he actually is) to ask him for advice on what he should wear to his upcoming Werewolf Coming Out Party (Guest list = Caroline).  Unfortunately, Mason is a rotting corpse in the trunk of Damon’s car not home to take Tyler’s call.  But THIS CHICK is . . .

As luck would have it, THIS CHICK can’t take Tyler’ call either.  She’s much too busy staring at the phone, with that “I’ve got an EVIL GENIUS plan” expression on her face . . .  The chick (whose name is Jules, by the way) apparently has magical “Beam Me Up, Scottie” powers, because, despite living in Florida, she is on the doorstep of Tyler’s Virginia mansion, within the time frame of a single commercial break.  But Tyler doesn’t have time to talk with Jules.  He has a full night of hot half-naked almost sex with Caroline painful werewolf transformations ahead of him.  And so, he makes up some excuse as to why he has to leave, and exits stage left leaving Jules to interrogate Tyler’s mom as to Mason’s whereabouts . . .

After meeting up at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, Tyler and Caroline head together toward the S&M Dungeon of Love Lockwood Werewolf Hideaway . . .

Once there, Tyler quickly disrobes . . .

. . .  so he can make sweet, sweet love to Caroline won’t ruin his designer duds, upon shifting.  Caroline feigns shock and embarrassment at Tyler’s nude form, but we can all tell she totally wants to tap that ass . . .

With his all-important nudity out of the way (THANKS, TVD WRITERS!), Tyler goes about the business of actually making himself less of a danger to society.  While shackling himself to some fairly heavy duty chains (see what I mean about the masochism?), Tyler ask Caroline for the wolfsbane he requested that she get for him.  (Werewolf Fact:  Wolfsbane is poisonous to werewolves, and saps their strength.)  When Caroline hands the wolfsbane to Tyler, he instantly recoils from its touch, the rare spice nearly burning a hole in his hand.  He then dumps the vervain into a water bottle and begins to drink it, an action which causes him to wretch uncontrollably.

As the transformation progresses, Tyler proceeds to get sweatier and sweatier, and hotter and hotter looking.  But he is also in a crapload of pain, and not in a good way  . . .

Despite his repeated requests for her to go away, Caroline refuses to leave Tyler’s side – caressing his cheek, rubbing his back, and whispering encouraging words in his ear.  But when things start to get REALLY BAD, Caroline straddles Tyler, and rides him like a pony . . .

Yeeee haw!  Ride’em cowboy!

However, when Tyler starts growling, and sprouting gross pulsating growths on his back, Caroline determines that it may be about time for her to leave.  Now, almost a fully transformed werewolf, Growly Tyler begins systematically breaking free from his chains, one by one.  Oh, yeah .  . . Caroline is SO out of there! 

A rabid Tyler lunges at Caroline, as she backs toward the door, full of tears, and muttering apologies, all the way.  Still trying to be a friend to Tyler, even though he “hasn’t really been himself, lately,” Caroline waits outside the Dungeon door for as long as she can.  But, eventually, it begins to buckle, and Caroline begins to worry about whether Were Tyler is strong enough to break the door down.

She gets the HELL out of there . . . 

The next morning, Caroline heads back to the tomb to praise an again-human Tyler on a successful Werewolf Coming Out party.  He stayed in the tomb, and DIDN’T EAT ANYONE!

“That’s a good boy!  You’re a good boy, Tyler!  Yes you are!  Now roll over and play dead.”

Seeing that her life is no longer in danger, Caroline straddles Naked Tyler, once again.  (That’s my girl!)  “You are OK,” whispers Caroline sweetly into Tyler’s ear.

“No, I’m not,” mutters Tyler, as he bursts into tears, finally recognizing the enormity of what has just happened to him . . .

(By the way, if CW shows were capable of EVER getting Emmy’s, Michael Trevino totally deserves one for this.  He took a scene that, in the hands of a lesser actor, would have been laughable and overblown, and rendered an understated performance that was both truly horrifying and heartbreaking at the same time.)

(Oh, and let’s not forget the NAKED . . .)

 Team Badass Returns!

How about a little Damon and Alaric bromance to bring you some holiday cheer?  But . . . before we get to them . . .

Knowing that Elena would go all suicide missiony on everyone’s asses, and rush try to get Stefan out of that tomb with Katherine, Damon came up with the brilliant idea of having Jeremy and Bonnie “entomb her” in her own home.  And, if I could find a GIF of Nina Dobrev doing the “Mime Thing,” as she tried to break through the imaginary wall in front of her house, I would.  Suffice it to say, it looked kind of like THIS . . .

 . . . only less creepy.

Oh . . . wait . . . nevermind.  I just found one.  (Man, I love GOOGLE!)

But just when Elena is about to KILL Bonnie and her little bro for doing this to her, Damon magically appears . . .

Damon announces that he has arrived for his tour of duty on “Elena Patrol.”  This involves, making sweet, sweet love to Elena on every conceivable surface of the Gilbert home  invading Elena’s personal space and eye-f*cking her brains out, until she’s so blissed out, she’s forgotten Stefan’s name . . .  THEN making sweet, sweet love to her on every conceivable surface of the Gilbert home. (See what I did there?)  😉 

Things get off to a great start, when Damon plops down on the couch next to Elena, and throws his arm around her shoulder, like the total Playa he is.  “I find hilarity in the great lengths I go to to save your life,” Damon snarks, meeting Elena’s trademark, “puss face” with a smile . . .

But then Alaric calls . . .

. . . and tells Damon that he is needed for a Daring Mission and Buddy Cop hijinks.  And while us Delena fans love Team Badass, we can’t help but be a bit saddened, as our dreams of Delena Cabin Fever Sex slowly fly out the window . . .

Clearly, Elena was looking forward to Delena Cabin Fever Sex too!

Anyway, Team Badass’ mission, should they choose to accept it, is to find out what the deal is with this Jules girl, who is nosing around Mystic Falls, and trying to find Mason.  They catch up with their mark at . . . where else .  . . THE ONLY BAR / SOCIAL ESTABLISHMENT in Mystic Falls.

I love the way Damon and Alaric double-teamed Jules, using the same Good Cop / Douchey Drunk Cop Wingman Pickup Technique perfected by college boys, everywhere.  (Hey, maybe this would work on Elena?)

It’s worth a shot, right?

Anyway, while Jules is busy thanking Sweet Damon from saving her from Big Bad Louse Alaric, Alaric pours some wolfsbane in her drink.  If she chokes, she’s a werewolf.  If not, she’s just a b*tch.  In short, it’s like Two Guys, a Girl, and a Rufie – Werewolf Style.  (Thanks for the funny, Amy!)

If you recall, this was the same trick Caroline’s mom used on Poor Damon (i.e. vervain in the lemonade) a few episodes back, to out him as a vampire.  At least the experience taught him something useful!  The problem is that Jules is no fool, and sees right through the ruse.

She instantly smelled the Ode de Vampire cologne on Damon’s neck, and immediately guessed that he would try to slip wolfsbane in her drink.  “Tonight is the night of a full moon.  On any other night, our positions are reversed.  But tonight is not the night to pick a fight with me.  You’ve been marked,” warns the OBVIOUSLY werewolf Jules, before stalking out of the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls.

“What the f*ck just happened there?”

Furious that he’s just been one-upped by one of Mason’s K-9 floozies, Damon is mad and ready for revenge.  However, Alaric kindly reminds him of that legend that he always relays during the “previously on” portion of every episode, “One bite from a werewolf can kill a vampire.”

Alaric certainly doesn’t want his buddy to die!  So, he advises him to return to La Casa de Rich and Awesome STAT, and lock all the windows and doors.  Surprisingly, Damon complies . . . but there is someone locked in there with him.  (ELENA?  PLEASE LET IT BE ELENA!)  It’s Rose .  . .

Awwww, CRAP!

Rose tells her sob story.  She’s scared.  She has no where to go, and blah, blah, blah . . .

Hear that?  That’s the sound of the smallest violin playing for Rose.

Then, a window breaks.  Damon’s got another female visitor (ELENA?  PLEASE LET IT BE ELENA!)

It’s Jules, only she’s kind a looking a little doggish, if you ask me.  (Tyler was a kickass scary werewolf.  Jules looks more like a cute werepuppy.  Where I come from, we call that sexist, TVD writers.)  But instead of going for Damon, Jules bites . . . wait for it .  . . ROSE.

I’m liking this Jules character more already!

After Jules exits stage left, poor Damon actually looks genuinely concerned as to Rose’s welfare.  He hugs her close to him, feeling scared for her, not to mention incredibly guilty for the part he played in her demise.  But then, Rose’s bite appears to heal . . .

OK . . . OK . . . I know that was harsh.  But I promise you, I didn’t just want Rose to Bite the Big One, because she gets in the way of my Delena ship (though that is a VERY good reason).  I just think that cinematically, it would have been more dramatic, particularly considering this was a mid-season finale, for Rose to die instantly from were bite, as if shot with a bullet.  Not only would this force Damon to experience feelings of guilt, over the part he played in this loss, it would also prove to the Salvatores that werewolves (including Tyler) are a genuine danger for them, not just a hypothetical danger. 

But NOOOOO!  Rose seems totally fine . . . or is she?

“Sorry Rose.  It’s not you, it’s me.  You see, us Salvatore brothers are genetically programmed to only fall in love with girls who look like Nina Dobrev.”

A funny thing happened toward the end of the episode.  I started to NOT MIND ROSE .  . .

I know . . . crazy, right?

This was strange for me, considering my opinion of the character changed, while she was wearing that RIDICULOUSLY WHORISH purple nighty thing (seriously, what is up with that?), sitting way too close to Elena’s man for comfort, and KISSING HIM!

But here’s the thing.  I like that Rose doesn’t want to pursue anything romantically with Damon (WOO HOO!  GO TEAM DELENA!  We’ve still got it.). I like that she just wants Damon to scratch her itch, and assume the “friends with benefits” position that Now-Dead Trevor once occupied . . .

“500 years of sex with the same gal gets kind of boring, no?”

Perhaps, even more importantly, I like that Rose REMINDED Damon that he is in love with another woman . . .

Heck, she even seems willing to HELP Damon GET that woman — so that he could better screw protect her — if necessary.  (How’s that for self-sacrifice?)  So, of course, that means that Rose has to die, right?  Because whenever I start to kind of like a character I used to hate, they always have to die.  And when Damon finds these creepy pulsating bruises on Rose’s back, he begins to worry that werewolf bites may be fatal to vampires, after all .  . .

(Wait . . . does that mean my dreams of hot Taroline were/vamp sex cannot come true?)

Dammit!  Now they’ve got me rooting for Rose to live .  . .  MEAN WRITERS!

Meanwhile . . .

Bonnie and the Magical Orgasms, Part 2 – Electric Boogaloo

Having given Poor Jeremy the old kiss off, last week, Bonnie decides to busy herself with the task of de-spelling the Moonstone.  For help, she goes to . . . you guessed it . . . Little Richie from Family Matters Luca . . .

Luca is apparently a HUGE Witch Nerd with all sorts of Grimmores?  Grin Mores?  Gulags? spell books just lying around the house, waiting to be used at a moments notice.  Though mildly pissed at Bonnie for “channeling” him in the tomb-opening spell that almost killed him, Luca, who hasn’t been magically f*cked since last week, seems more than willing to help Bonnie de-spell the stone. 

And so the pair create their trademark romantic setting, with candles, and flowers, and blah, blah, blah.  Then they go in the center of a circle, hold hands and play Ring around the Rosey screw eachothers brains out WITH THEIR MINDS . . .

I decided to put Luca’s CURRENT picture here, only because the image of Bonnie mind f*cking the little kid from Family Matters was seriously starting to creep me out . . .

The “spell” looks surprisingly similar to the one these two did together last week, only this time the “moonstone” rose up and burst into sparks.  (I’m purposely ignoring the “their love set off sparks” metaphor the writers were obviously trying to go for here, because it was just so gosh darn LAME!)  But did Bonnie and Luca REALLY cure the moonstone of the doppelganger curse?  I’ll give you a hint . . . NO.  (OK . . . that wasn’t really a hint, but whatever.)

As it turns out, Evil Jonas Brother from Another Mother has been pimping out his son, in order to carry out Elijah’s dastardly plans.  And one of those plans involved “despelling” the FAKE moonstone, and stealing the REAL one.  And that’s what Luca did for his dad . . .

Kid, you are SO GROUNDED!  No Sesame Street for you!

Speaking of Elijah . . .

“Hi, I’m Elijah!”

Ahhhh . . . Useless Aunt Jenna.  I discovered yet a third function for her idiocy this week.  Let’s see . . . in addition to staking herself, and allowing us a glimpse at Alaric’s Chunky Monkey, she also INVITES BAD VAMPIRES INTO THE GILBERT HOME . . . like ALL THE TIME!  This time it was Elijah, who she invited in under the guise of “picking up some books,” or something lame like that.

“He can have his stinky books.  I don’t know how to read, anyway.”

As it turns out, Elijah has a little proposition for Elena, one that DEFINITELY seems to good to be true.  You see, most of us TVD fans, myself included, always assumed that Elijah was a high-ranking henchman for the Big Bad Santa Klaus . . .

But tonight we find out that those two Old Fart Vampires are kind of “on the outs.”  In fact, Elijah would very much like to stake Santa Klaus’ ass (It is Christmas, after all!)  All he wants Elena to do is stop trying to get herself killed.  And then, when the time comes, Elijah and Elena will go kill Klaus together.  If Elena goes along with this, Elijah promises to see that no harm comes to the people she cares about . . .

Yes, I’m aware that Elena cares about other people aside from Damon.  I’m just trying to make a point.  OK?  (Besides, as you can probably tell, I REALLLLLY like this picture.)

But here’s the thing, Elena is (sometimes) smarter than she looks.  And she knows that she is in the position to negotiate additional favors from the surprisingly genial vamp.  (Seriously?  Wasn’t Elijah much less of a grouch, this week?  Who knows maybe he’s also in love with Elena . . . like everybody else on this show.)  As you can probably guess, that “favor” involves a certain tomb . . .

Fake Doppelganger Tomb Sex = FAIL!

At least, we always have the GIFS!

Stefan’s and Katherine’s much anticipated tomb sex romp, ended up being nothing more than an Inception like, dream-walking exercise in fan annoyance . . .

(Heck, if Stefan had only thought to spin a top during the intercourse, the whole thing might not have happened at all . . .)

“If that was really just a dream, why do I suddenly feel like I have crabs . . .”

The whole Dream Thing really does beg the question of how much control Katherine actually has over what Stefan does and says, in the DREAM WORLD.  Could Stefan have really cheated in the tomb with Katherine (YES YES YES PLEASE YES)?  Possibly, but it probably would have taken another 140 years — long after Elena was dead and buried — for Mr. Straight and Narrow to go to bed, and for Dark Stefan to come out to play . . .

DAMMIT, GOOD STEFAN!  You just pissed off a lot of fans, and gave me the worst case of Blue Balls EVER!”

Then again . . . maybe it would happen much sooner.  After all, Katherine’ reiteration of her love for Stefan — while she’s locked in the tomb and has nothing to gain from saying it — really did seem genuine.  What also seemed genuine was Katherine’s offer of help to Stefan, in finding Klaus, and destroying the Moonstone curse, and, thereby, saving Elena’s life.  “Find Isobel . . . she’s an expert vampire history,” Katherine suggests, more or less.  “She found ME.”

Well, well, well . . . it looks like Elena’s Mommy Dearest will be making a reappearance, after all . . .

Unfortunately, for Kefan fans, we don’t really get the opportunity to find out whether Stefan will stray from Elena in 140 years.  Because, about 10 seconds later, Elijah stages a Tomb Style Jail Break for Stefan on Elena’s behalf . . .

“Rats!  Foiled again . . .”

Honestly, I’ve never seen Katherine more frightened, than she was by the arrival of Elijah.  Her terrified tears were heartening, really — much more so than the dramatic ones she shed during the Katerina episode, in my opinion.  And yet, Katherine’s fear doesn’t trump her arrogance. 

Wrongfully, assuming that she’s been sprung from the pokey too, Katherine bounds out after Stefan, only to find herself face-to-face with the compelling gaze of Elijah.  “You will stay here until I come for you,” says Elijah calmly, as Katherine’s eyes do that thing Elena’s do to show their being appropriately mesmerized . . .

Then again .  . . the guys compelling these girls are always so gosh darn hot, it’s possible that this is just “the look of love”  . . .

As Stefan leaves, Katherine pleads for him to take mercy on her soul.  “You aren’t going to leave me here alone, are you Stefan?”

Stefan ponders Katherine’s question for approximately 2.5 seconds before saying, “SEE YA, SUCKA!”

So much for being the “Safest B*tch in Town” . . .

In the last moments of the episode, we are treated to a syrupy sweet Stelena reunion, and the hints of some Stelena sex . . .

DELENA FANS:  “Rats . . . foiled again.”

Well, that was “By the Light of the Moon,” in a nutshell, folks.  Next up . . . a LOOOOOOOONG Hiatus.  New episodes of The Vampire Diaries are slated to air January 27th.  While you wait, however, feel free to enjoy over and over again, this promo for the next new episode . . .

WOAH!  Rose is going all Crazy Vampire Zombie on us!  Apparently, werewolf bites are like rabies for vampires.  So much for Damon’s “Friend with Benefits!”  Looks like its going to be Vampire Vicki all over again.  And did you catch the steamy Taroline kiss? 


Still thirsty for more?  Check out The Vampire Diaries season 2 marathon,starting this coming Monday on the CW.  Experience the fangtastic magic again, for the second time (and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth . . .)

See you next year, fellow Fang Bangers!



Filed under The Vampire Diaries

21 responses to “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “By The Light of The Moon”

  1. Was that hands down the best werewolf transformation you have ever seen on screen or what?!

    Michael Trevino’s voice dripped pain and when he regressed to the point where he said “It hurrrrrrrrttttts” like a broken little boy I actually flinched. Have to admit I didn’t think the actor had it in him.

    Candice Accola was officially kickass before this episode, but I loved seeing a character like Tyler experience first-hand what an amazing friend Caroline can be. Twit with heart indeed :). After Caroline and Tyler went through hell and back like that, I really don’t think that I could buy Matt and Caroline getting back together. Kind of like how the traumatic experience of finding out his mother truly was dead made Logan sob in Veronica’s arms, a vulnerability that led to what you know if my very favourite ship EVER. *sigh*

    And why in the world do I find men hotter when they are covered in sweat like Tyler or cement like Eric Northman in True Blood season three, and yet clean cut leaves me a little cold? Clearly I am going to marry a lumberjack or mud wrestler!

    Also loved the idea of werewolf bites being a slow-acting venom that kills you from the inside rather than just a savage wound that kills you because you bleed out your life’s blood.

    Thank you SO much for the GIF at the end. I hadn’t seen the promo yet, so the hot Cyler? Staroline? Forwood? kiss was a sweet note to end on 🙂

    Was the “rides him like a pony” reference a call back to Evil Willow and Angel in Buffy Bizarro World, or am I just a crazy Whedon fangirl?!

    The recap was brilliant, as always. Seriously, I don’t know how you manage to get more hilarious each week! Werewolf Coming Out Party? GOLD! As was the mime image, particularly because the mime’s face reminds me of Elena when she is wearing her puss face. Hehe! You almost broke my browser with all the pretty in the Team Badass GIF. And you know how much I heart Mean Girls picspam!

    I kinda loved Jeremy and Damon tagteaming as part of Let’s Be Protective Asses to Elena Day. Speaking of Jeremy, GO AWAY Luka. I want Jonnie smoochies if I can’t have Jyler ones, dammit! Stop giving Stefan airborne STDs when having Magical Orgasms with Bonnie. GRR!

    That shirtless-but-be-tied image of Ian makes me wish that during my private high school days this was the mandatory uniform for all boys. Now THAT is the kind of objectification I could get behind 🙂

    • “And why in the world do I find men hotter when they are covered in sweat like Tyler or cement like Eric Northman in True Blood season three, and yet clean cut leaves me a little cold? Clearly I am going to marry a lumberjack or mud wrestler!”

      You and me BOTH, Cherie. There is definitely something to be said for a Dirty Boy! 😉 (Then again, seeing them on television and smelling them, are two different stories. I’m guessing the stench one builds up when transforming into a werewolf, is not exactly lily-like . . . But, of course, to touch a body like Tyler’s, I’d be more than happy to breathe through my mouth, for a half hour or so ;)).

      Tyler and Caroline really owned this episode for me. The way the writers have been developing this relationship is truly remarkable, especially considering how little I cared for both of these characters, when they first appeared in Season 1. And the acting from both of them, this week . . . WOW . . . is all I can say.

      Usually, I HATE werewolf transformations, because of all the lame CGI graphics and general cheesy weirdness they tend to involve. But I have to say, this one was pretty darn awesome to watch. So often “werewolf story” writers focus on the impact the transformation has on the werewolf’s VICTIM. It was nice to see the werewolf protagonist ‘s suffering, and really feel for the MONSTER, for a change.

      I’m with you, Caroline and Matt are DUNZO. They just have to be. What Caroline and Tyler experienced together is just not something that can be topped by any human experience. (Though Logan and Veronica come very close . . . As you know, I love them too! :))

      And far as I’m concerned, all male private schools should ALL require uniforms consisting of nothing but a long, private part-covering, tie . . . Think of all the money you’d save in tuition, as a result! 🙂

      Thanks again for your awesome insights, kind words, and continued support. It means more to me than words can say.

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  3. Madeleine

    Okay, I am officially Team . . . what did you call it? Team Taroline. And I suppose that if I am invested enough in this show for that, I have to ship Delana, too. Mostly because Stefan annoys me. And he isn’t as hot as Damon. Plus, he and Elena have crazy chemistry, and they kind of remind me of Pacey and Joey, which leads me to think of Stefan as Dawson, and I HATED Dawson SO MUCH.
    I watched this at like three in the morning last night (this morning?) and I kind of squealed at the Tyler/Caroline hotness, loud enough to wake up my sister. It was kind of embarrassing. But, all of a sudden, I find Tyler EXTREMELY hot. I don’t know why I didn’t before. And Matt is BORING. Capitol B-O-R-I-N-G. Somebody should kill him already.

    • This comment is PURE WIN on so many levels! And here’s why:

      (1) You have declared yourself to be on Team Taroline. So am I (obviously)! Michael Trevino and Candice Accola have really sold me on them as a couple, these past two episodes. Caroline’s perky girly-girl spunk contrasts perfectly with Tyler’s broody alpha maleness, in my opinion. And have you seen that body on Tyler? Boyfriend has been working out! You can just see the difference in his musculature between Season 1 and Season 2.

      (2) You have declared yourself to be on Team Delena. My pet ship on this show. No matter what happens, for me, Delena will always be the RIGHT endgame. Granted, this episode was a bit disappointing for Delena fandom, for obvious reasons. But the Season 2 Marathon of TVD starting Monday will only serve to bolster our love for the brilliant and beautiful bad boy, Damon Salvatore, and the fiercely determined Elena.

      (3) I’m a huge Dawson’s Creek fan with a CRAZY penchant for the Pacey and Joey relationship (particularly in Season 3 and early Season 4). I also have developed a kind of irrational hatred for Dawson, since the show has aired. So PJ loving and Dawson hating is always welcome here.

      (4) LOL re: killing off Matt. He’s got a cute little baby face, and may be an OK actor, but the writers have rendered him more or less useless since Season 2 began. (Though not NEARLY as Useless as Aunt Jenna.) At least Matt’s got some brains in his head. I don’t know if I would go for murdering Matt, but Aunt Jenna could totally get eaten, as far as I’m concerned. The only problem then would be, who’d raise Jeremy and Elena?

      Thanks for your commenting awesomeness, as always. And I’m glad to see you’ve come around to TVD!

  4. sassyfran

    Yeah I agree Caroline and Tyler were the best of the best for the episode. I am always following Damon and I love his smart A** comments LOL. Recently I have become a bit bored with Elena but I think its like someone else said that she is more compelling as Katherine. I think when there is no Katherine Elena seems less wimpy or is that an illusion LOL. Yeah sorry folks I was right about the NO Kefan sex LOL yeah that was an easy one to see if you have ever watched Elena and Stefan. Besides it took a while for the two of them to get back together so no way Stefan was going to do cheat on her at this point.
    ON the Bonnie side of thing: I hate that they play her as so naive. I understand that she is basically alone in the world but she really needs to wake up. The things she is doing seem to be a bit blind. I hope Lucy returns soon to help her to see that she has blood relatives in the world that want to help her.
    I think that Jeremy will be able to Help Bonnie to see the light; I don’t think he will give up despite outward appearances of her having fun with Luka. Luka’s dad seems totally evil though Luka himself doesn’t seem to enjoy being used. That it the only thing he has that makes me not hate him at this point. LOL he has to also see that Jeremy cares for Bonnie and he may at some point push them together knowing that he himself is doing things for the wrong end result.

    I hope some of that made sense. 🙂

    • Yep, you were definitely right about the Kefan sex (or lack thereof), Rene. Darn! 😦 I think deep down I knew it was probably going to be a dream, but I was still hoping I was wrong.

      You can definitely tell that Nina Dobrev has more fun playing Katherine than Elena. Katherine just seems like a more interesting and complex character to play, from an actress’ perspective. In terms of Elena, I agree that she can sometimes be bland on her own. And yet, a certain smart sassiness comes out of her, when she is with edgier characters like Damon (definitely Damon – Go Team Delena!), Katherine, and, most recently, Elijah.

      I think that is the problem I have generally with Elena and Stefan as a couple. I feel like they are both so similar, and don’t necessarily bring out the best in one another. (Also, the writers never keep them broken up long enough for us fans to get a chance to miss them together.) Conversely, Katherine and Damon bring out the fun, perhaps more antagonistic sides, of Elena and Stefan. *ducks for cover from thrown objects by Stelena fans*

      *Sigh* Bonnie. I don’t know what to make of her character. I feel like the writing for her is a bit inconsistent sometimes. Sometimes she’s an angry b*tch, other times she’s smart and jaded, and unwilling to trust others (rightly so), still other times she’s this headstrong innocent lovestruck puppy. And that’s the way she seems to be around Luka. I feel like I might like her and Jeremy more together as a couple (since I enjoy the Jeremy character a lot), if Bonnie was more consistent as a character.

      I’m not sure what to make of Luka yet. But I agree with you, that, even though his feelings for Bonnie may be fake now (as he is just getting close to her, in order to do his dad’s bidding), I suspect real feelings will develop on his part for her. And that is when this story might become more interesting for me.

      And I’m with you Rene, Caroline and Tyler were too awesome for words this week. Definitely the stars of the episode. (And I say that as a HUGE LOVER of the Damon.)

      Thanks again for your intelligent and insightful insights, Rene. I look forward to talking more TVD with you.

  5. katoributa

    I’m just going to number my thoughts since there are so many things to write about:

    1. Tyler/Werewolf – Oh man, the bone popping sound effects and the unnatural body movements brought chills through my spine. And his horrific pain-filled screams! O_o I knew the chains weren’t going to be able to hold him. I have a solution for that: put him in a room/dungeon surrounded by wolfsbane, drink wolfsbane water along with some sedatives, duct tape him like a mummy (Mythbusters has pretty much proven that duct tape is magical and can withstand anything) chain him closely to the ground/wall/any surface so he wouldn’t have any leverage to pull the chains off, and have someone stand by with lots of wolfsbane and a tranquilizer gun (a la Buffy) if he starts getting too frisky. This should keep him down, however, we wouldn’t be able to see his half-naked deliciousness being all taped up! Hmm…what a dilemma…
    2. Tyler/Caroline – I can definitely see there could be more between these two, however, I think it’ll be one-sided on Tyler’s end at first. Caroline can relate to what he’s going through and doesn’t want him to do this alone. For the time being, she will be there for him as a friend. After all, Caroline is still not over Matt yet. This triangle will be interesting to watch.
    3. Damon/Elena – That one scene was so adorably awesome. I want these two to be endgame and have been since the beginning. I’m fine with all the waiting between them because I like their love/hate (or is it love/sorta love now?) relationship with the banter, snarkiness, eye-sex, UST that shows the AMAZING chemistry they have going on. I like seeing the build up and the journey of relationships. Not the love at first site bullcrap.
    4. Cave + Stefan/Katherine – Where’s the cave sex?! So disappointed. Stupid promo was very misleading. Although I had a feeling it was only going to be a dream sequence, I was still hoping the writers would have some new material with that teaser. Non-cave sex aside, nothing interesting happened here at all. Stefan and Katherine were stuck together dammit, you would think SOMETHING would happen…but there was nada. Stefan did not get stuck in the cave with Katherine long enough IMO. It was waaay to easy for him and he got out waaay too early.
    5. Team BadAss/Damon + Alaric = WIN – not much to say here, except that I LOVE the bromance between these two. So glad we finally get to see them interact. LOVE!
    6. Jules – She definitely seems to have some control on her wolf and embraces what she is. I am going to reserve judgment on her character for now.
    7. Elena & Elijah deal – First, I gotta say that Elijah is pretty badass. Now with the deal they made. I don’t know what to think. It does seem a little too good to be true, but from what Rose said of him, he does honor his promises and it seems so that way so far.
    8. Damon/Rose – since I do want Damon and Elena together in the end, it’s a little difficult for me to watch these two together. But I’m ok with it since they made it perfectly clear that they’re just friends with benefits. Also, Rose is the 3rd party that would be able to see things with an objective point of view and she calls it as she sees it. Like Damon being in love with Elena and telling Elena it’s ok to love both Stefan and Damon (from the promo). Which should help the other characters open their eyes/minds a bit.
    9. Rose Bitten – the cure is the blood of a doppelganger! (a la Buffy, where Angel was poisoned and the only way to cure him was Slayer’s blood =P).
    Anyways, she definitely looks like some sort of rabid zombie in the next episode. I’m indifferent about her character. She can live or die the next episode.
    10. Bonnie/Luca/Jeremy – almost forgot about them! That’s a testament on how much I care about their storyline. Bonnie and Jeremy’s relationship still seems really forced to me so I cannot get behind them as a couple. I don’t think they had scenes together at all until the Masquerade episode. It’s too weird for me. Bonnie is too trusting of Luca. I mean, how can she NOT be suspicious of him for forgiving her so quickly for almost KILLING him? And to basically let some stranger handle the moonstone? Plus he even said that those types of spells were unique and he wouldn’t be able to help reverse it without knowing what type of spell was on it in the first place. Can I say stupid? I agree with sassyfran in regards to Bonnie.
    11. Jonas – is he really a bad guy? Maybe Elijah has something over him (besides being uber powerful) that is giving Jonas no other choice but to help him, like with Lucy and Katherine.
    12. Hiatus – I have no idea what I’m going to do with no TVD until Jan. 27! TVD is the one and only TV show I watch. I guess I’ll get back to stalking – I mean reading up on anything Ian. Not a bad plan if I do say so myself.

    And my long post is done! Also, that photo of the shirtless Ian with the tie is photoshopped right? It looks like Ian’s head on another body. Anyways, great recap as always!

    • Your comment here is sheer brilliance, katoributa! Thanks so much for taking the time to share all these awesome show insights with me. I loved reading your take on this episode, as you picked up on a lot of things I missed.

      1) I almost forgot about those bone-popping sounds during Tyler’s werewolf transformation! So gross, and yet so realistic (at least as realistic as a human transforming into a werewolf can be). I too suspected the chains wouldn’t hold Tyler, as they didn’t appear to hold Mason in HIS transformation episode (nor did that car he tried to attach himself to :)).

      Speaking of which, Were Tyler seemed way scarier and more kickass than Were Mason, don’t you think? I wonder if this is a situation similar to the ones you see in traditional vampire lore, where the “young” recently-turned creature is technically stronger than the older one, but less in control of his or her body, and, therefore, unable to make calculated moves.

      2) As for Caroline and Tyler, I agree that Caroline might THINK she is still in love with Matt, and will initially want to go back to him. And yet, her similarities with Tyler, and the immense experience they shared together, will make her unable to stop thinking about him. The attraction is already there, she just doesn’t realize it yet.

      This will make Caroline’s and Tyler’s blossoming relationship similar to Damon’s and Elena’s, which is probably why I like them so much as a couple. This is clearly MY kind of SHIP! As for Matt, he’s sweet and all, but he really hasn’t done anything interesting enough (except, maybe under compulsion) to make me root for him as a character. For me, Matt’s like the bland nice guy character in romantic comedies (usually played by James Marsden lol) who starts out having the girl, but eventually loses her to the more interesting, funny and edgy guy (Tyler).

      3) I too loved the small Damon and Elena scene from this week. It’s really the little moments between these two characters that define their relationship for me, and make them shine as a couple. The way his face light up when he sees her; The pouty face she gives him, with just a hint of a smile beneath the surface; the way they always get up in eachother’s personal space, and are constantly testing one another’s boundaries; the looks and touches they exchange with one another, and the rapid fire hilarious banter they exchange — it’s all filled with WIN. And I hope we get much more of it, in the second half of the season . . .

      4) That Ian picture is ALL REAL! I believe it was actually taken from his earlier modeling days. The reason it might appear photoshopped, is that, in the original picture he is actually wearing pants. *blushes* I chopped the boxers out of the picture to make it sexier and more suggestive. I can’t fool you at all! 😉

      5) I LOVE your prediction about the doppelganger’s blood being the only cure for a werewolf bite! That’s pure genius! And it would make a lot of sense, given the way the Moonstone curse binds werewolves to vampires.

      Honestly though, I’m not sure I want Rose saved. Even though I believed her, when she said that she wants to remain just friends with benefits with Damon, I worry about her getting too close to him, and not being able to keep her promise. Damon and Elena don’t need any more obstacles, dammit! Then again, maybe a little jealousy on Elena’s part, is all she needs to prove to her how much she loves Damon. And, if that’s the case, BRING IT ON!

      6) I think you are right about Jules. In interviews, Kevin W. and Julie P. suggested that we were about to meet werewolves who, unlike Mason and Tyler, were born into a family proud of their werewolf culture, and bred to hate vampires. It adds an interesting new dynamic to the story, which I’m excited about. While it will be nice to see Tyler have a mentor in the were world, I worry about the danger this can spell for his relationship with Caroline.

      7) Though I still don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, Elijah really grew on me this week too. He seemed kind of stoic, creepy, and stiff in the first two episodes in which he appeared. But now we are starting to see his sense of humor and intelligence. It’s made him a lot sexier and more fun as a character, as far as I’m concerned.

      Daniel Gillies also had surprisingly good chemistry with Nina Dobrev in their scenes together this week. So, I’m looking forward to some more of that in coming weeks. He may ultimately end up being the Super Villain we all originally thought him to be, but Elijah still kicks ass.

      8) Conversely, I’m not really loving Jonas and Luka yet. They seem slimy and phony to me. We may ultimately learn that they are just pawns in the Originals game, and that Luka really has feelings for Bonnie. But for now, they are both on my poopy list. 🙂

      9) I’m with you 100%! Stefan was not locked in the tomb nearly long enough, as far as I was concerned! There were so many opportunities the writers wasted by getting him out so quickly. The dessication both he and Katherine would have suffered from not drinking blood, the mind games, the increasing desperation, the building attraction. We didn’t really get to see any of that.

      We also didn’t get to see much in the way of Damon struggling with his desires for Elena, and his duty to protect his brother. WOULD he have tried to get Stefan out of the tomb right away, if it were up to him? Now we will never know! By having Elijah let Stefan out of the tomb after just one episode, I think the writers took the easy way out. Just saying . . .

      I too am going to be going CRAZY during this LONG TVD-less hiatus! But at least we will have the marathon to tide us over! And, we’ll always have the internet! 🙂

      • katoributa

        Hey kjewyls, I’ll keep this post short. I agree with all your points, especially #9. It was my main disappointment from the episode since they could’ve done so much more with it.

        I would love that the Ian photo be genuine, but I’m still not convinced that it is. If you look at the first 2 photos of Ian on your post dedicated to Ian’s birthday, you’ll notice that the head (expression, tilt, and hair) is exactly the same. Or maybe it IS all Ian, just 2 different photos of him put together? I don’t know, hopefully I’m wrong about this.

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  7. It Ain't Piano Lessons Honey

    Fantastic review! Had me ROTFL in tears. I also was hugely disappointed by the Inception style tomb sex. #EpicFail

    • Thanks, It Ain’t Piano Lessons! (Love your yummy avatar, by the way! ;)) I’m so glad you enjoyed the recap!

      Yes, I too was VERY disappointed with the NotSoTombSex! Come on, Evil Katherine! I expected much more from you! Vamp Girl needs to be fed some male strippers STAT, as she is obviously off her game . . . 🙂

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  9. I found this episode slightly disappointing (the end was so random, and Stefan/Katherine were so rare), but so much happened in it. In fact, it felt long, in a good way. Loved the recap, as usual. But I have a few questions: did anyone see this and NOT think of S&M? Is that even possible? Certainly not for me.

    “In short, it’s like Two Guys, a Girl, and a Rufie – Werewolf Style. (Thanks for the funny, Amy!)” Hah! Yes, I was thinking if she were innocent, she still might wonder why Damon so intently wanted her to take a drink.

    “I discovered yet a third function for her idiocy this week.” So in this sense Jenna is in fact very useful [to vampires and dangerous creatures who want in].

    Wouldn’t it be so creepy if Elijah were in love with Elena?! Shivers.

    “Fake Doppelganger Tomb Sex = FAIL!” and “DAMMIT, GOOD STEFAN! You just pissed off a lot of fans, and gave me the worst case of Blue Balls EVER!” YES and YES

    ‘Stefan ponders Katherine’s question for approximately 2.5 seconds before saying, “SEE YA, SUCKA!”’ Poor Katherine. Here is an example of how self-preservation can backfire.

    Soon, soon, the wait will be over… It’s good to be back here, hehe.


    • Hey Noelle! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I miss talking TVD with you, and can’t wait until this DARN hiatus is over! (9 more days!)

      It WOULD be creepy, if Elijah ended up being in love with Elena, and, yet, not entirely unexpected. (I mean, why not? Everybody ELSE on the show seems to be!) In fact, I have already created a SHIP name for the couple just in case: Elenjah 🙂 (Not my best work. I may have to work on that in the future. ;))

      Though I still don’t trust Elijah, as far as I can throw him, his character actually grew on me a bit this week. He’s just SO cool, in a highly disturbing, “I can eat you for dinner, with a glass of Merlot, and a light side salad” sort of way.

      Speaking of the “Everybody Loves Elena” show, I’m just waiting for the Elusive Klaus (whoever he ends up being) to come to Elena, during the Season Finale, and tell her that, if she lets him turn her, she can be his “Queen of the Night” for all Eternity, or something equally cheesy. Bring it on, E-Klaus! 🙂

      But yeah, the ending of the episode, did feel random and tacked on . . . almost as if it was added in as an afterthought, because the writers couldn’t BEAR the thought of Stefan and Elena apart for more than a 40 minute period. 🙂 A bit more exposition of the Stefan and Katherine relationship (preferably of the naked variety) would have been much appreciated. However, I suspect that more background regarding the inner workings of Katherine’s relationship with BOTH Damon and Stefan, will be forthcoming, toward the end of the season.

      I can’t wait to read your recap! (I’m sure it’s awesome.) I plan to do it as soon as I get home! 🙂

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  11. Meg Duffield

    Just had to say: I love the “Fang Bangers” at the end! Very well done for omming up with that! ❤ x

    • Awww, thanks so much Meg! Honestly, I wish I could take credit for the term “fangbangers,” but it’s not really mine. *blushes*

      I borrowed the term from the television show True Blood (and the books on which it was based). On True Blood the term fangbangers is used to describe women and men who prefer vampires to humans . . . and not just for friendship, if you catch my drift. 😉

  12. East Coast Captain

    They are such teases Stefan and Katherine are nuclear hot!!!! I cannot believe how much chemistry they have, he has none with Elena. Hopefully the writers stop teasing us and actually have Stefan boink Katherine at least once again.

    • Now that the Ripper has returned, you may just get your wish in Season 3, East Coast Captain! Thanks for finding my blog, and for stopping by and commenting.

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