Oscars 2012 – Who SHOULD Co-Host? (Five Suggestions)

(It occurred to me, while I was doing research for this post — which, mind you, I had been planning to write since LAST NIGHT — that everybody and their mother already beat me to this idea.  There go my delusions of “originality!  But, am I going to let that stop me from reinventing the wheel?  HECK NO!)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock this past week, you are probably already aware of the following: (1) the 83rd Annual Academy Awards aired this past Sunday; (2) Anne Hathaway and James Franco co-hosted the show; (3) for their efforts, they received HORRIBLE  humiliatingly bad  resoundingly negative  not very good mixed reviews.

ANNE:  “Lay off, OK?!  It wasn’t my fault!  James was stoned off his ass, and sleeping backstage, the ENTIRE TIME!  You think I kept saying ‘WOOOOOHOOO!’ for every presenter, because I’m just some a dorky fangirl, who can’t keep her sh*t together?  NO!  I was trying to WAKE THAT MOTHERF&*KER UP!”

JAMES: “Yo, Anne could you quiet down!  I can’t concentrate on my tweeting, with you yelling like that . . .That and I’m SERIOUSLY hungover!”

While the execution may have been flawed, I still believe that the Academy’s idea of choosing two fresh, yet familiar, faces to host the year’s most prestigious award show this year, was an inspired one.  For this reason, I have tasked myself with coming up with five celebrity pairings, each of whom, I believe, would be well-suited for the admittedly formidable challenge of Oscar Hosting.  So, without further adieu, here are my selections (in no particular order):

(1) Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey Jr.

Americans love a good survival story.  And there are no two bigger survivors in Hollywood than Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey Jr.  She endured a painful divorce from a TOTAL wanker (who cheated on her with some tatted-up Nazi skank uggo) won an Oscar, and adopted a baby boy, all in the SAME YEAR!  He battled drug and alcohol addiction throughout the first thirty or so years of his life.  He then spent four years rotating in and out of jail on drug charges, only to become clean in 2001.  Since then, Robert Downey Jr.’s career experienced a remarkable resurgence – one which made available to him a treasure trove of roles any actor would sell their soul for.

But none of this would matter, if Sandra and Robert weren’t the kind of people we could stand to watch on television for three hours straight, without getting nauseous.  Fortunately, both celebrities possess inherent charm, poise, intelligence, dry wit, and my personal favorite, matching self-depracating senses of humor.  All of the aforementioned qualities, in my opinion are ESSENTIAL for a good Oscar host.  But don’t take my word for it.  See for yourself!

Did I mention Robert Downey Jr. looks wicked HOT in a tux? 😉

(2) George Clooney and Matt Damon

Nobody does Hollywood Royalty, like George Clooney and Matt Damon.  Having starred in four movies together, and having endured countless hours of interviews and press junkets, sitting side-by-side with one another, these two seriously sexy men, have a bromance that is simply unparallelled in the movie industry (well . . . except for, perhaps, the bromance between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck).   

Everybody loves Matt and George.  And they love eachother.  The wry barbs, adorable smirks, witty banter, and mild to moderately homoerotic ass slaps that would inevitably result, if these two were to host the Oscars together, would certainly be worth enduring a few lame acceptance speeches and stale musical performances for, right?

Oh, and if they could do a reprise of the “I’m F*&king Matt Damon” song, so much the better.  (I’m sure the censors would just LOVE that!)

(3) Tina Fey and Jon Hamm

To succeed as an Oscar host, it is not enough to simply be likeable, or funny, or charming, you also have to have good material.  And solid material requires GOOD WRITING.  So, what better person to host the Oscars than one of the best comedic writers in the industry?  Having spent years, writing for Saturday Night Live, and now 30 Rock, Tina Fey definitely has what it takes to write a solid Oscar monologue.  Plus, her stand-up comedic experience has made her a whiz at ad-libbing.  Of course, this is a crucial skill to have on Oscar night, when the teleprompter goes down, or the microphone stops working, or Melissa Leo drops the F-bomb . . .

As for Jon Hamm,  well the man is gorgeous, for one thing . . . and surprisingly modest, especially considering just how gorgeous he is.  Jon is also a real stand-up guy — one who’s not afraid to be goofy, or make a bit of an ass of himself.  He even knows how to DANCE (sort of).    Being able to boogie certainly can’t hurt, especially if you are an Oscar host saddled with a ridiculously cheesy musical number . . .

Hamm demonstrated both his comedic timing, and his chemistry with Tina Fey, during the actor’s guest stint on 30 Rock.  But it is the couple’s adorable debut as 2009 Emmy Presenters that really convinces me that these two have what it takes to be amazing 2012 Oscar hosts.

(4) Nathan Lane and Jane Lynch

The Oscars are nothing if not theatrical.  And my next two celebrities have theatricality up to their expertly plucked eyebrows!  Nathan Lane is comedic actor, who got his start on Broadway, and has brought his larger-than-life persona and musical talents to films ranging from The Bird Cage to The Lion King to The Producers.  You can’t help but laugh, everytime Nathan Lane is working his magic on the stage or screen.  He also looks pretty amazing in drag . . . which is a HUGE PLUS, during the Awards season.

Jane Lynch has also had a long-standing comedic film career that began on the stage.  Of course, now, we know her best as the prickly and unabashedly evil cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester, on Glee.  Can you just imagine all the delightfully evil barbs targeted against Hollywood’s A-listers, Jane could get away with at the Oscars, if they were spoken in the context of an “As Sue Sees It” News Broadcast?

(Oh, and if Nathan and Jane could, at some point, during the ceremony belt out a duet to my favorite Disney tune “Hakuna Matata,” I would be a VERY HAPPY CAMPER!)

(5) Rico Rodriguez and Sofia Vergara

You want YOUNG Oscars, Academy?  Well, it doesn’t get much younger than Rico Rodriguez!  This pint-sized tot from Modern Family has already earned his stripes, both hosting Red Carpet Events, and tackling press junkets and interviews like a champ. 

See what I mean?  Dude brings the funny!  And he brings it HARD!  Book him NOW, before puberty hits!

It should be noted that Rico has fantastic chemistry with his TV mommy — the smokin sexy, Sofia Vergara.  Vergara’s sassy sensibility and adorable accent make absolutely everything she says hilarious.  Case in point:

Oscar telecasts, as we all know, have a tendency to get a bit long and dry, particularly during their final hours.   What better way to spice things up a bit, than with a little sultry Latin Flavor?

And, hey, even if things DON’T go well for these two as hosts, you could probably get at least an hour’s worth of material out of jokes about Rico’s age and height, and one about Sofia’s accent and bountiful . . . busom.  You can’t say that about Steve Martin or Billy Crystal!

So, there you have it, my top five picks to host the 2012 Oscars.  What are YOURS?

[www.juliekushner.com]

16 Comments

Filed under Oscars

16 responses to “Oscars 2012 – Who SHOULD Co-Host? (Five Suggestions)

  1. Rene

    LOL you are hilarious. I like the Robert/Sandra combo. Hey check it my opinions on Oscar fashions at my blog http://www.lovinlivin.onsugar.com

    • Thanks so much, Rene! I LOVED your Oscar post! However, for whatever reason, the computer I’m on now, wouldn’t let me click on the link to leave a comment. It must be some weird security issue. I’ll try again, when I get back home. But just in case I run into the same problem, I’ll comment here.

      You are hilarious with your fashion commentary! Seriously, your witty and right-on observations about celebrity style would give Tim Gunn and Joan Rivers both a run for their money! I recommend everybody stop by and check it out. I’m also wondering what you thought about Mila Kunis’ and Jennifer Lawrence’s looks, as those were two of my personal favorites.

  2. Rene

    Hey Jewls, I am glad you liked my post. I added the two opinions you asked for I hope they are what you hoped. I am not sure why it didn’t let you post 😦

  3. imaginarymen

    OOOOHHHH I loved Sandy/RDJ, then I saw George/Matty, THEN I saw Tina/Jon Hamm!! I can’t choose!!!

    I’d throw in Tina/Steve Martin. I STILL laugh at his order “DON’T fall in love with me!” ;-00

    (how do I get it to embed instead of as a link?)

    • imaginarymen

      Uh – never mind. It did it. Weird, I posted a bunch of YT links in Cherie’s comments today and they didn’t do that!

      • Yay! I’m glad you got it to work! I always review the comments from e-mail, and then again, from the Dashboard. So, I can never actually tell what things just got linked and which were “videoed.” It used to be that, in order to leave a video in someone’s comment, without having to to “code it,” you had to post it DEAD LAST. But lately, I feel like the WordPress software has gotten better about recognizing YouTube videos in comments, and automatically embedding them.

        Tina and Steve would be an awesome choice for the 2012 Oscars! Many folks felt that Steve and Alex were the best comedic hosts the show had in quite some time, back when they hosted this past year. So, I feel like choosing either of them with Tina, would be the perfect way to balance things out, and appeal to both “old and young” demographics, respectively, while still keeping things reliably funny. That, and there’d be no risk of ANY of these seasoned professional comedians pulling a Letterman . . . or a Franco, on awards night. 🙂

  4. Don

    Now that the Academy has announced that the Oscar Telecast will be held on February 26, 2012, the Academy should announce that Melissa leo and Kate Winslet have been hired co-host the show. Just as television has a “Joan and Melissa Show,” the Academy should establish a “Kate and Melissa Show.” Since both of these outstanding actresses have reputations for using “language that would make a sailor blush,” ABC should hire physicians to monitor he hearts and blood pressures of its censors. If nothing else, the evening will be unpredictable!

    • A solid suggestion, Don. I’m just wondering whether the Academy will stick to mainly comedic actors in the future, in order to prevent what happened this past year to happen in the future. But you bring up a good point. R-rated language definitely seems to grab audience attention. There’s just the issue of whether the hefty FCC fines will outweigh the profits brought in by increased ratings. 😉

  5. Don

    I profoundly disagree that Sandra Bullock’s “survival story” can even be remotely compared to the “survival story” of Robert Downey, Jr. Mr. Downey has battled his inner demons and appears to be winning. Sandra Bullock was heartbroken and disappointed, but she never had any inner demons to battle with and always has had America and the rest of the world on her side. Most people agree that, for what he did to Sandra and his family, her former husband should be shipped to Guantanamo Bay and tortured by the CIA. In order to ensure a bi-partisan torture, President Obama should appoint Hillary Clinton and Dick Cheney to personally administer the waterboarding. If Sandra is to host the Oscars, she should do it alone. If she wants a co-host, her son Louis is a real “heartthrob” and by that time he will be able to hand out the Oscars to the winners as Sandra announces them. They will steal the hearts of America!

    • I was speaking more in terms of how both actors’ stories helped the public to relate to them and root for them. Each took a difficult situation in their lives, and ultimately turned it into something positive and inspirational. So, often we think of celebrities as leading charmed lives. But this is not always necessarily the case. Celebrities’ hearts can break, just like ours can. And they can make mistakes, just like us.

      In short, what RDJ and SB experienced made them seem more human to the average American. And though their individual struggles were very different from one another’s, the way the public embraced each, and rejoiced in their respective successes, was very similar.

  6. Olive

    I love the Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey JR. Idea! But… I was thinking maybe Sandra Bullock and Hugh Jackman! I loved your ideas! Truely creative!

    • Awww, thanks so much, Olive. I thought Hugh Jackman was a GREAT awards host, when he did the Oscars back in 2009. He was funny, charming, sang, and danced like a champ, and seemed really comfortable on the stage. I think he would be a great match for Sandra Bullock, as an Oscar co-host in 2012. Good thinking! 🙂

  7. Olive

    You’re welcome 🙂 and thanks! I love the academy awards. Definetley a great night for actors and actresses everywhere. I love Sandra Bullock’s humor and poise and I also love Hugh Jackman’s charm and humor as well. I really do think they would be perfect! The academy awards have not done a 3 person host since 1987. That may or may not be a good idea. It depends on how you think of it. If there was 3 co hosts this year… Downey JR, Bullock, and Jackman sound perfect together! I still am in love with your idea. I was a little dissapointed last year with Anne and James. They didn’t have that “Academy award host chemistry”. I do think they did a decent job though. There are rumors going around saying that “The Help” may take a lot of wins this year. What do you think kjewls?

    • That’s funny you mention “The Help” and its prospects for the 2012 Oscars. Just today I was reading a really cool speculative article in Entertainment Weekly about all the 2011/ 2012 films that are already receiving buzz as being Oscar-worthy. Not surprisingly, “The Help” was featured prominently in the article.

      If I was to guess, I would say, “The Help” stands a good chance of winning “Best Adapted Screenplay.” And Octavia Spencer, and Viola Davis both have an equally solid shot at Best Supporting Actress. (Octavia has the advantage of having the more “colorful” role, whereas Viola’s part, was arguably more nuanced, and subtle. Both types of roles have garnered Supporting nods in the past.) Another award opportunity for “The Help,” depending on who else is nominated in the field, is “Best Costume Design,” given the distinct 1960’s Southern look portrayed in the film.

      I do think a Best Director nomination is possible, as well. However, in selecting its winner for that category, the Academy tends to favor LOUDER films with bigger budgets, and more special effects. So, “The Help” would probably be a longshot in this category.

      So, those are my predictions. I guess we will just have to wait until next year to see if any of them are correct. 😉

  8. chibi

    How about Russell Brand?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s