The Parent Entrapment – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s “Empire of the Son”

“So, when you get to jail, Lily, definitely tell Bernie Madoff I said ‘Hi.’  He never did pay me back that money I lent him . . .”

Well, this was a rather adult episode of Gossip Girl, right?  And no, unfortunately, I don’t mean that in a fun, NC-17 rating, kind of way.  Instead, I’m talking about the fact that LITERALLY everybody and their MOTHER got their own storyline tonight.  Heck, even BART BASS got thrown a bone from the Plotline Department . . . and he’s been dead for ALMOST TWO SEASONS!

 . . . praying that my Estate gets royalties for this . . .

Let’s review, shall we?

Happy Days are Here Again?

After a few pretty dark episodes, things actually seem to get off to a rather pleasant start, in “Empire of the Son.”  Chuck Bass, who, as you recall, was, just last week, in danger of losing Bass Industries to the odious Russell Thorpe, is now presumably “back on top.”  This, of course, is due to the deal he made with that Random Dude who agreed to buy an interest in his company, last week, so that Thorpe couldn’t destroy it. 

Now, Chuck, of all people, is being asked to ring the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange.  To me, this is pretty darn impressive, especially considering that, in four seasons, I never knew the character to wake up before Noon . . .

 . . . unless, of course, he had “special company” in his bed with him. 😉

Speaking of Blair . . . she’s doing pretty well too!  Though our Queen B was seen, just last week, getting FIRED, FAILING exams, eating PIZZA, and drowning her sorrows in old ass movies, screened in a Brookyln apartment, now our girl looks positively radiant.  She’s being nice to everybody!  She’s giving Serena advice about her Bland Boring Boyfriend Ben. 

Blair attributes this new sense of well being to a “Fast and Cleanse,” in which she has recently engaged.  On this, I call BS, from personal experience.  After all, the last time I, personally, “cleansed and fasted,” I literally almost killed about five people, out of sheer HUNGER . . . 

Yeah . . . you should really consider EATING, stat, if you care at all about your family and friends . . .

But, I’m not the only one who is doubtful as to the true source of Blair’s newfound happiness.  Blair’s sidekick, Dorota, is suspicious as well .  . .

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You know who else is doing well?  Nate.  After lord knows how many weeks just spent staring at the camera, and looking pretty, Boy Toy ACTUALLY has a sort-of storyline . . . plus, he’s getting laid . . .

Yes, boys and girls.  Things move fast in the Upper East Side.  And Raina, who was formerly Chuck’s flavor of the week, is now being slurped up by Pimp Daddy Archibald, right beneath Chuck’s nose!  Unlike Chuck and Raina, these two ACTUALLY share a modicum of chemistry.  As a result, watching this new couple interact and swap spit — while not a particularly thrilling sight — doesn’t immediately make me want to vomit.  So, that’s a start! 

“Thank you, writers, for FINALLY realizing that I am WAY TOO HOT to be perpetually celibate, on this show.  Now, if I could just get you to stop dressing me in these ridiculously dorky sweaters . . .”

Now, despite appearances, all is not necessarily rosy in the Upper East Side.  Serena is still macking with that Wet Blanket Ben . . .

But, hey!  At least this is causing her to ignore the stalkerish repeated phone calls and text messages from one ridiculously annoying,  Vanessa Abrams . . .

So, it seems the entire cast of GG (except for Vanessa) is happy, which is exactly how us fans like it.   And what’s a “happy” GG episode without a PARTY, right?  I mean what would all these disgustingly rich, and apparently alcoholic, Manhattanites, do with their lives, if they weren’t perpetually attending one of Chuck’s nightly “I Never Work, But Inexplicably Have Unlimited Income” Galas?

“And now let us call this meeting of the Upper East Side Chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous to order .  . . Cheers!”

But, of course, this is Gossip Girl.  And happy days can’t stay happy, for long . . .

You are ALL BUSTED!

“Oh, Russell . . . honey . . . we NEED to do something about your office.  Since when did it become OK for a high-powered executive to conduct business at a COFFEE TABLE?  I mean, you’re sitting so low to the ground, you might as well be on the floor!  And what exactly is that fire place doing behind you, anyway?  Is that your idea of a shredder?”  – Set Department FAIL!

Things start to take a turn for the worse, when Chuck arrives at Thorpe’s office, to gloatingly invite Russell and Raina to his Pointless Party of the Week.  It is then, that Russell accidentally / on purpose lets it slip that his daughter is currently out boning Mini Captain Archibald . . .

“Well, DAMN!  Now, I’m glad I gave her an STD!  Enjoy those crabs, Natey-poo!”

But Russell’s got even more tricks up his sleeve.  He’s recently sent one of his minions off to the dry cleaners, in order to kindly “suggest” an outfit for Lily van der Woodsen to wear to Chuck’s party . . .

“Hey Lily, I hear orange is the new black . . .”

Elsewhere, Wet Blanket Ben has suddenly stopped returning Serena’s Booty Calls . . .

Oh, the humanity!

When Serena confronts Wet Blanket Ben at Dan’s apartment (where he is currently crashing), to find out what the heck is going on, she encounters a very scary sight, indeed . . .

It’s the EVIL WENCH, WHO BROUGHT WET BLANKET BEN AND PSYCHO STALKER JULIET INTO THE WORLD!!!!

Of course, Evil Wench is LESS THAN PLEASED that her son has formed a relationship with the woman whose family pretty much singlehandedly RUINED HIS CAREER, and possibly, his life . . . They also, coincidentally, sent her daughter, Psycho Stalker Juliet off the Deep End. Oops!

Meanwhile Blair, who is clearly ashamed of the fact that she used to spend her nights attending lavish parties and having sex with Chuck in limos, but now spends them watching Netflix films, washing dishes by hand, and eating (gasp) pizza, has been hiding her friendship with Dan from the Upper East Side masses.

But even BLAIR’s deception tactics are no match for The Mighty Dorota . . .

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Dorota started to notice things were amiss, when she spied a NOVA DOCUMENTARY in Blair’s netflix queue!  (Oh, Blair . . . we REALLY need to talk!)  But then, when she found a copy of Dan Humphrey’s New Yorker magazine on Blair’s bed, things suddenly became clear to her . . .

“OH HELLLLLLL NOOOOOO!”

At this point, I should probably mention that Dorota is the BIGGEST CHAIR FAN EVER!  (She’s also, I suspect, a Derena fan.)  So, of course, the usually Happy Housekeeper is EXTREMELY UNHAPPY about this most recent turn of events.  And she vows to put a stop to it ASAP.

“I caught you, Dan Dishpan-Handed!”

“You and Lonely Boy are having an AFFAIR,” shouts Dorota, her face a hilarious mixture of triumph, shock, and horrified disgust . . .

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“We have to tell Mr. Chuck and Serena!” Dorota continues, digging the knife a little deeper into Blair’s heart.

To prove to Dorota, once and for all, that there is nothing going on between her and Dan, Blair decides to stand Lonely Boy up.  So, she fails to meet him at their appointed destination for the day, and, instead, decides to go shopping with Dorota. 

 Meanwhile, Dan, who is similarly concerned that his dad, Rufus, will find out that he and Blair have been hanging out (Yeah . . . I don’t really get why the Dad would give two craps, either), ditches Blair too, in order to hang out with his Pops . . .

So, of course the two Date Ditchers have to end up running into one another, at a completely different location than where they originally planned to meet . . .

(Gotta love those Madcap GG Hijinx!)  “I knew you would be my SOCIAL DEATH!”  Blair exclaims to Dan later. 

Deciding it would be best if they came clean to everybody about their new friendship, before ANYBODY ELSE finds out about it, Dan and Blair come up with a plan.  They decide to leak a blast to Gossip Girl about an “important announcement.”  Then, at Chuck’s party, they will reveal that the “important announcement” was actually a really LAME one, about the two of them sometimes watching movies together. 

Talk about a Bait and Switch!  I know, if I was Gossip Girl, I’d certainly want MY money back . . .

“Hey, at least the “important news” didn’t have anything to do with VANESSA!”

Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing . . .

Back in Serena Land, Blondie is trying her hardest to win over Ben’s Evil Wench mom, by treating her to pizza.  (Seriously?  Since when did so many people eat PIZZA on Gossip Girl?)

Unfortunately, since Evil Wench is lactose intolerant (not to mention, Serena intolerant), the meal doesn’t exactly go well.  To make matters worse, Serena conveniently overhears Evil Wench telling Ben that he should sell out the van der Woodsens to save his teaching career.  This way, he can fall in love with, and possibly impregnate MORE 16 year olds  YAY!

Speaking of the whole Pedo Ben Fiasco, Serena’s mom arranges a meeting with Chuck to tell him about the “Orange Jumpsuit Affair.” 

Apparently, Lily (rightly, as it turns out) fears that Russell will try to blackmail her into ceding Bass Industries over to him, by threatening to reveal information regarding Lily’s illegal behavior, with respect to the aforementioned matter.  (Geez!  Dude just doesn’t give up, does he?)  Chuck promises to investigate (1) who leaked that information to Russell *cough Drug Dealing Damien cough;” and (2) whether the Real Estate Mogul has ACTUAL PROOF of Lily’s perjury, or is merely bluffing.

Lily, of course, suspects Wet Blanket Ben of leaking the intel.  And when ANNOYING VANESSA . . .

AGAIN . . . I REPEAT . . .

 . . . barges into La Casa de van der Woodsen, to inform Lily that Ben had Nate’s dad beat up in jail, her suspicions seem justified.  When Lily confronts Serena with this information, Blondie initially refuses to believe its true.  The problem, of course, is that the AFFIDAVIT, which is proof of Lily’s guilt in the Pedo Ben Affair, has suddenly gone missing.  And, aside from Serena, Wet Blanket Ben is the only one who knew where it was hidden .  . .

Serena vows to talk to Ben at Chuck’s party, hoping she can get him to reconsider his decision.

Elsewhere on the Upper East Side, Chuck .  . .

 . . . pretends to care that Nate and Raina are porking, when we ALL know, he only truly has eyes for one girl . . .

But, aside from this faux- confrontation, Chuck has REAL business to attend to, with Raina.  Specifically, he wants to warn her about what an ASSHAT her dad is!  When Raina refuses to believe Chuck’s statements, the latter arranges for Raina to learn of her dad’s Asshatedness on her OWN.  Chuck figures that Raina’s disapproval of Russell, might influence the Douchebag to drop his whole blackmail scheme, and simply admit defeat, like a Good Little Guest Star . . .

All is Revealed . . .

As is typical of GG episodes, everything comes to head at the Big Party of the Week.  There, Serena confronts Wet Blanket Ben . . .

“Sometimes, I even bore MYSELF  . . .”

 . . . who admits to beating up Nate’s dad (who, let’s face it, no one really likes, anway) . . .

“Hey WTF!  EVERYBODY LIKES ME!  I’m Captain Hook-ed on Drugs, for crying out loud!”

However, the Wet Blanket SWEARS on his Mama, that he didn’t steal Lily’s forged affidavit.  Oh, but he did tell his Evil Wench Mom where it was hidden . . .

“WHAT A MORON!  You’re seriously boning THAT GUY, when you could be boning ME,  Serena . . .What is WRONG WITH YOU?”

So, here’s how it all went down . . . Apparently, after Drug Dealing Damien approached Thorpe at the end of last week’s episode, about Lily’s criminal acts, Thorpe took it upon himself to contact Wet Blanket Ben’s MOM.  She then used Wet Blanket Ben to figure out how to steal the incriminating affidavit, and give it to Thorpe.  How unnecessarily convuluted interesting.

Later, as planned by Chuck, Russell blackmails Lily, with Raina listening in the next room.  To say she is not pleased with her daddy, is the UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY . . .

“This is SO STRESSFUL!  I could really use some more weed, now!”

They were RIGHT ABOUT YOU,” Raina exclaims to Daddy Not-So-Dearest, before storming off, with Nate hot on her heels, hoping to heaven that this won’t interfere with his chances of getting boned tonight . . .

But what Chuck doesn’t count on is Russell being SUCH a big Asshat, that he DOESN’T even go after his own daughter!  He STILL wants to blackmail Lily!  The problem, however, is that he CAN’T!  Lily has already decided to turn herself in to the police, and issue a full confession. 

Though this may inevitably land her in jail, this sort-of heroic, if long overdue, act, will, not only singlehandedly save Bass Industries until the next Guest Star comes to f*ck with it, it also will inevitably prevent the company from being blackmailed for the 84,532nd time this season.  GOOD RIDDENS TO THAT!

Bart Bass-tard Strikes Again . . . and other Sort-of Cliffhangers

After Lily leaves to go turn herself in, Chuck and Russell decide to have a little heart-to-heart. 

In the lamest, most useless and least relevant biggest twist of the evening, Russell reveals that the reason he was dead set on ruining Bass Industries, was not because Bart Bass stole Lily from him, but because Bart basically KILLED RUSSELL’S FIRST WIFE!  Remember a few seasons back, how Bart was implicated in setting fire to one of his hotel buildings, for insurance money, and for killing some Security Guard, in the process.  (No?  That’s OK . . . I barely remember it myself.) 

Well, apparently, RUSSELL’S WIFE was also in the building at the time. (Wait . . . nobody finds it weird that the SECURITY GUARD’S death was publicized, but the wife of a famous hotel mogul’s was NOT?  Am I missing something here?)  Upon hearing that his dad was JUST AS BIG OF AN ASSHOLE AS HE ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WAS . . . just a slightly more murderous one, Chuck goes on an alcoholic bender . . .

YAY BOOZE!

This Bender, ironically, wakes Chuck up from the STUPOR he’s been in for at least four episodes now!  “I need to find Blair!  She’s the only one who understands what I’m going through right now,” a slightly inebriated Chuck tells Serena, before rushing off to find his lady love. 

Well, it’s about DAMN TIME! 

(Note: The fact that Chuck’s Daddy Issues are what FINALLY prompted him to remember how dear Blair is to him, is a nice bit of continuity on the writers’ part.  One can’t deny that, each time, Bart’s misdeeds (or his untimely death), have sent Chuck into a downward spiral, it was BLAIR who nursed him back to himself, with her strength, and unflagging belief in Chuck’s strength and inner goodness.

Speaking of BAD DAD’S and GOOD “SHIPS”, Russell Thorpe FINALLY decides to leave town, and go back to the Windy City from whence he came . . .

SAYONAR,  SUCKA!

But it’s Nate — who is no stranger to the many ways in which BAD DADS can disappoint you, and f*&k you up for life, himself  — who ultimately convinces Raina to wish her Papa farewell, and forgive him for being such an Evil Asshat and Annoying Special Guest Star .  . .

The Hills are Alive, with the Sound of Natey-pooooooo!

Nate and Raina may still be going strong.  But you know who isn’t?  Serena and Wet Blanket Ben.

This DOOFUS also FINALLY leaves town (Well, would you look at that?  We killed two birds with one stone . . . now if we could only get Manessa to leave, for good).

Wet Blanket’s reasons for departing NYC are as follows: (1) Lily demanded, as a condition of her confession, that all charges against him be expunged; and (2) he’s become a VERY BAD MAN . . . at least as far as he is concerned.  Serena is momentarily devastated by the loss of her Flavor of the Week.  So, she tells him she truly believes that he is the same pedophile man she fell in love with.  She also hopes that Ben will call her again, once he gets some of that nonexistent confidence back.

Umm . . . Ben, don’t call us, we’ll call you . . . Mmmmm Kay?

So, that’s two people who left town.  You know who came BACK to the Upper East Side though?   THIS GUY . . .

Watch out RUFUS!  With Lily awaiting trial for her crimes, her Bad Ass Mo Fo criminal of an ex-husband (He made her believe she had CANCER, just to get into her pants, for crying out loud!) might be JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED!

But the real cliffhanger of the episode comes in the final moments.  If you recall, Dan and Blair planned to “come out” as friends at Chuck’s party.  But then, all this Lily and Russell and Ben Crap happened.  So, they decided it probably wasn’t the right time to reveal this not-all-that-important information to “Manhattan’s Elite” . . .

Ultimately, the pair decide to sacrifice their newfound friendship, and focus, instead, on their friends’ impending crises and emotional needs. 

But that night, Dan refuses to return to Brooklyn.  Apparently, he is having second thoughts about his and Blair’s mutual decision to “break up their friendship.”  And so, he arrives at Blair’s house, with questions looming in his mind, as to why the two have felt the need to hide their movie-going, pizza-eating, and dish-washing “thing,” for so long.  He wonders whether something more is there between them.  He wants to kiss Blair just once to find out.

Blair tentatively agrees to the kiss.  Then, Dan, being the general slow-starter / wishy washy and Charlie Brown-like person he can sometimes be, hesitates, before going in for the Big Slobber.  So, Blair, wanting to get this over with, grabs her Brookyln Bud, and pulls him in for a smooch.  The screen then freeze frames like THIS . . .

And, before you know it, we have Gossip Girl saying “XOXO” for the last time, before the show goes into a SIX WEEK HIATUS . . .

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Man, this sucks!  I really thought we’d get to see Chuck make a play for Blair’s heart, before the Final XOXO.  Unfortunately, this did not happen . . . yet.  The show’s upcoming promos offer some promise, however . . .

See you in April, Upper East Siders!  Until then, XOXO!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

27 Comments

Filed under Gossip Girl

27 responses to “The Parent Entrapment – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s “Empire of the Son”

  1. Rene

    I really want to read this but I am soooooooo tired I will have to wait till tomorrow but I still want to be first to comment LOL It looks good from what my blurry eyes can see………Thanks for sharing.

  2. GoodcopBasscop

    I was really hoping Chuck was going to walk in on them, do you suppose next episode will start off with Chuck going to Blair’s apartment and finding something???? By the way, the moment “Dair” had their kiss, they were over, when I saw the promo the kiss between Blair and Dan looks sooooo akward!!! Chair all the way!

    • You are absolutely right, GoodcopBasscop! I’m sure Dair fans will disagree with me on this, but I didn’t see ANY CHEMISTRY in that Dair kiss at ALL! And Leighton Meester is a good enough actress to have created chemistry, if it was supposed to be there. So, I have to think the writers aren’t planning to take this coupling much further than the platonic level.

      The whole thing just came off as very clinical-looking to me. And the fact that the two had to pontificate and analyze the whole notion of a kiss, rather than just going for it, wasn’t exactly “impulsive,” or sexy.

      I too was hoping Chuck and Serena would find Blair and Dan kissing. This way, they would both realize what they’ve been missing, these past few episodes, and jealousy would take its toll. The trailer for this past episode certainly made it seem like that was what was going to happen.

      However, based on the trailer for Episode 18, it looks like Chuck didn’t walk in on the kiss at all! Rather, it appears that he finds out about the kiss from Gossip Girl, and isn’t even entirely sure, until later on in the episode, who Blair’s spit swatting partner was. It also seems like Blair will deliberately start taunting Chuck with the Dair kiss, in order to make him jealous / get back at him for the whole Raina thing. Oooh . . . I hope that’s the case. That would drive Chuck WILD, which could only be a GOOD thing, as far as Dair is concerned. 🙂

      Chair is always at their best when there are passion and strong emotions involved. And I suspect we will get to see some of that in the upcoming episodes. All fingers crossed! 🙂

  3. Emily

    LOVE your recap!! I was really sad we didn’t get to see a CB scene, too, and man oh man was I bummed out and bored by the DB kiss. I just hope this ‘relationship’ ends soon and Chuck finally gets to start giving Blair some good lovin’ again 😉

    • Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, Emily! I really appreciate it.

      And you are absolutely right! Us Chair fans have been patient LONG ENOUGH. It’s high time our SHIP returned to GG . . . for GOOD! 🙂 (Hopefully, this will happen SOONER, rather than LATER.)

  4. You know what? The only time in Gossip Girl history I have been able to stand Dan Humphrey is throughout this Dair storyline. Her bluntness is the perfect foil to his pretentiousness.

    I actually also think this friendship isn’t entirely out of the blue. I mean, one scene that really sticks in my mind of the pair being able to find commonalities is the scene after Blair discovers her mother had tricked Serena into taking her place in the photo shoot in season one. When Blair and Dan shared a moment about their respective shitty mothers, I felt like Blair could understand where he is coming from much better than Serena ever could.

    Having said that, I remain a Chair fan… so long as they really and truly redeem Chuck Bass’s ass. The chemistry between Leighton and Ed is undeniable, but after the raccoon zombie debacle I must admit my Chuck love suffered a little.

    I wish the Dair kiss hadn’t been so damn awkward, because I think the Dair pairing would cause awesome conflict for the (probably brief) entirety of the relationship. Though, I did love Blair basically saying, for Christ’s sake Humphrey, get over yourself and just kiss me!

    Atta girl 😉

    • I’m with you. Blair’s “take no prisoners” attitude toward all aspects of life, even smooches :), is one of the things I love most about her character. I actually feel like this is a trait that Chuck and Blair have in common, and Dan and Serena sorely lack. In fact, the two mirrored scenes toward the end of this episode — the one between Dan and Blair in Blair’s house, and the one between Serena and Dan at the bar — exhibited this distinction between the two pairs of characters perfectly.

      Dan and Serena are wafflers. They always need to analyze things ad nauseum, and are constantly seeking advice from friends, relatives, and lovers about what to do in a given situation. This is why Dan spent HOURS wandering the streets, before he came to Blair’s house to TALK about possibly / maybe kissing her. It’s also why Serena’s first instinct, when Chuck discussed going to find Blair, was to tell him to wait until the next morning, when he would be more sober.

      This is not to say that Blair and Chuck are impulsive. Quite the opposite, actually. Every move these two make is calculated toward a particular result. However, once they make up their minds to do something, there is no going back. I find that pretty inspiring! 🙂

      I agree with you that Dan’s and Blair’s burgeoning friendship did not appear out of the blue. Dan and Blair are both intellectuals, and they have been in the same social circle for four seasons now. So, it’s natural that these two would eventually gravitate toward one another, particularly when their significant others were off doing, lord knows what!

      I also agree that Dan, who I typically find VERY judgmental and wet-blankety, has been WAY less annoying, and more likeable, of late. Whether that can be attributed to this storyline, or just better writing of his character, remains to be seen . . .

      My issue with the Dair storyline has more to do with inconsistencies the writers have perpetuated in both Chuck’s character (the Raina nonsense) and Blair’s character to move it forward. Yes, Blair is an intellectual, who loves art and culture. But, aside from an undying admiration for Audrey Hepburn, I’ve never known Blair to be a classic movie buff, or someone who eats pizza, knows how to handwash dishes, or enjoys NOVA documentaries. These interests just don’t seem to jive with the person Blair has been for four seasons now. Nor was that whole internship thing consistent with who Blair and Dan are as individuals. Dan is a creative writer of short stories about Serena, not a fashion commentator. And Blair, up until this point, had always been interested in LAW.

      For the writers to base the Dair relationship on a shared love of fashion, pizza, movies and documentaries, seems disingenuous to me. I would have preferred that the friendship developed from a more genuine place – intelligence, shared ambition and drive, shared relationship struggles, grade grubbing at school – things that the characters have consistently shared with one another for four seasons.

      That being said, I’m glad that Blair and Dan are friends. I enjoy their banter, much more than I thought I would, before this storyline began. Therefore, I am hopeful that the writers keep them as friends, even after both of them have returned to their respective soulmates.

      But . . . if a bit of Dair smooching can wake Chuck out of the comatose state he has been in these past few episodes, and prompt him to undergo a romantic redemption arc, I say BRING IT ON! 🙂

  5. iszy

    Just wanted to pop in and say, as the quality of GG drops continously it is so nice to have you pointing out all its problems and making jokes at its expense. I am so happy you havent ‘jumped ship’ like many others i have seen (you even picked up on things that spoiler sources have said are important- like Chuck not being jealous of NR at ALL) and your reply to GoodcopBasscop is perfectly put. Would love to see you in our CB bubble again sometime 😉

    • Hi iszy! Thanks so much for all your kind words and support! I really do appreciate it. It definitely seems like the GG writers have genuinely battered our ship, and forced its numbers to decline, through some poorly conceived storylines, and out of character choices. I feel like, now more than ever, us Chair fans need to stick together, and ride out this storm like the brave, brilliant, and fabulous souls, I know we are! 🙂

      On a positive note, I feel like the tides are turning. Chuck’s non-reaction to Nate’s and Raina’s courtship (as you mentioned) coupled with his epiphany that Blair is the one woman who truly understands him, and can mend his broken heart, are definitely big steps toward Chuck’s redemption as a character, as well as his upcoming reunion with Blair. Now, maybe I’m being idealistic, but I genuinely believe that our patience through all this hoopla will be rewarded in a really big way! 🙂

      Oh, and I definitely plan to stop by the forum again sometime soon! I had so much fun there! You guys are truly awesome! 🙂

  6. screenlock

    After what chuck did to Blair, ignoring her for Raina and just when he discovered about his dad,and raina doesn’t care about him..,he just blatantly remember Blair? being the last resort,i suppose..Blair deserves someone who is more decent and sincere enough to be her friend or more, like Dan..
    unlike Chuck and Blair, their relationship was based on sex,it’s physical thing that triggers them. DAIR, on the other hand, started as unlikely friends.,
    and they call each others mistakes. and Dan, he’s a good influence on her. 🙂

    but ANYWAY, I HOPE THAT MOTHERCHUCKER BASSHOLE WOULD HAVE A WAKE UP CALL AND JUST GIVE AS AN EASY WAY FOR ALL OF US TO JUST SETTLE FOR CHAIR, coz right now, DAir is invading the gg fan base. >:))

    • Oh, screenlock :)! We may be on different teams, but I still love reading your comments. They always make me giggle and smile, as I’m plotting ways to rebut your arguments. So, thank you so much for being a good sport and “playing” with me. I really do appreciate it.

      And now for the Chair rebuttal 🙂 :

      First, I’ll admit two things (1) Chuck has wronged Blair in many ways, throughout the course of their four year relationship; and (2) the whole Chuck / Raina relationship was extremely poorly conceived by the GG writers. It was unrealistic, and SUPER annoying to watch for both Chair and Dair fans, I think. Furthermore, it seemed to have no real purpose but to assassinate Chuck’s character. HOWEVER . . . 😉

      By dating Raina, shortly after Blair dumped him, I don’t feel like Chuck was consciously hurting Blair. Yes, my heart absolutely broke for Blair, when she witnessed Chuck’s and Raina’s heated emotional argument on Valentine’s Day, on which she said Raina was “sacred” to him. But Chuck had no idea Blair was watching this exchange. If he did, I doubt he would have said what he said.

      Prior to this exchange, Chuck and Blair had an understanding. They weren’t going to continue to be a couple, until Blair had proven to herself that she could be a successful woman in her own right. Chuck didn’t want to break up with Blair at all, but he was willing to abide by her wishes, because (1) he wants her to be happy; and (2) he knew they were meant to be together, and would ultimately end up with one another. Blair told Chuck that she didn’t expect him to wait for her, but I think, in a way, Chuck knew that his heart would always be waiting for Blair, even if his body was engaged in a superficial courtship with someone else.

      Which brings me to Raina . . .

      If you recall, it was BLAIR who salvaged the Chuck / Raina relationship, the first time the pair broke up, by CALLING Raina, and telling her how much Chuck cared for her. True, Blair did this, because she assumed the Chuck / Raina relationship was just a front perpetuated, so that Chuck could salvage his company. But still, the fact that Chuck was dating Raina was no secret to Blair. The dating itself wasn’t the betrayal, Chuck’s supposed “feelings” for Raina were.

      And I definitely don’t think Chuck would EVER consider Blair a last resort. Since the show has begun, Chuck has loved Blair nonstop and unconditionally. Whether broken up or together, Chuck’s feelings for Blair have remained constant, throughout the series. And as for this whole Raina thing, I really do doubt that his feelings for HER were real. As iszy noted, notice how little Chuck seemed to care, when he found out Raina and Nate had started dating right under his nose. True, Chuck may have seen a commonality between him and Raina, and cared about her a lot more than he initially intended. However, I don’t think Chuck ever truly LOVED Raina, just like he never truly loved Eva. For Chuck, it has always been Blair, and will always be Blair.

      I also feel like Chuck’s decision that he needed to find Blair, after hearing news about his father’s past, was not out of the blue at all. In fact, it is often in times of crisis, that you remember the people who matter to you most. Chuck undoubtedly remembered how Blair supported him, during his emotional breakdown, following his father’s death. He knows that Blair is the only one who can truly understand what he is going through now. And, even though Blair has dumped him, and told him that they must remain apart until she finds herself, Chuck has come to the realization that he can no longer be apart from the woman he loves.

      I do agree with you about Blair deserving a good friend like Dan, however. Because she’s certainly not getting the support she needs from Serena. 🙂 And I have no doubt that Blair’s friendship with Dan will survive this kiss, even when both of them are with different romantic partners.

  7. angie

    Man, I missed your recaps! You are hilarious. I have to admit, I did give up on GG…for like a week, but then I caved and watched both episodes today. My thoughts:
    1. Dan’s friendship with Blair makes him less annoying than usual
    2. I’m so over Vanessa that all I did was sigh when she came onscreen (instead of groaning loudly and retching, like I used to)
    3. And oh my god… when Serena realized the affidavit she had so cleverly hidden in her drawer (really??!) was missing, Lily’s face was PRICELESS. I paused on that frame and laughed myself silly. I just could see her thinking, “Dear Lord, my daughter is a MORON.”
    4. Whoo hoo for sticking with it! Chair, the real reason I watch this show, is coming back to the forefront!

    • Hi angie! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. Your commentary definitely put a smile on my face. I’m so glad you returned to the GG fandom, after a brief “hiatus.” I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, us Chair fans are in for a SERIOUS resurgence, when the show returns for it’s final five episodes. And, for those of us who remained loyal to the Ship through this difficult time, the reunion of Chuck and Blair will be that much sweeter. Trust me! 🙂

      1) Dan IS less annoying when he’s with Blair, isn’t he? In fact, it’s been over a month, since I’ve rolled my eyes at his mere presence on my television screen. (A habit I’ve developed from four years of GG viewing) Especially considering that Dan’s infringing on my Ship, that’s some serious progress, I think! 🙂

      2) Ahhhh, Manessa. Does ANYONE actually enjoy this character? I mean, Raccoon Zombie Little J, Georgina, Jack Bass, Juliet Sharp – ALL of these villains had their fanbases. But Vanessa seems to be pretty much universally hated by GG fandom. Sometimes, I wonder whether the writers keep her around to give all the warring ships something to agree upon. 🙂

      3) I cracked up at your analysis of Serena’s “genius” decision to hide that incriminating affidavit in her underwear drawer. I mean, if there is one place every boy in the Upper East Side has been, it’s inside Serena van der Woodsen’s panties. She might as well have made a billboard of the affidavit and put it in Times Square.

      Say, what you want about Lily, but SHE is a smart woman. I guess, sometimes, the apple DOES fall very far from the tree. 🙂 But, hey, at least the mother/daughter pair have “being slutty,” in common!

      Of course, as stupid as Serena was, Wet Blanket Ben beat, who thought to himself, “I just learned a HUGE secret from Serena. Gee, I should really share it with my mother, who hates Serena’s guts, and wants her to rot in hell,” beat her in the Lame Brain Department, I think (though it was definitely a toss up!). I mean, this guy is supposed to be a high school English teacher, with a MASTER’S DEGREE?! Really, GG!

      You know, now that I think about it, Serena and Ben are perfect for each other . . . as long as they don’t procreate. 🙂

      4) Team Chair, For the WIN! In the words of L.L. Cool J, “Don’t call it a comeback. We’ve been here for YEARS!” 🙂

  8. screenlock

    Yes, I suppose you can say that, I’m glad Blair wasn’t seen ,
    because, I, for one, I think Chuck would tell Raina either way even if Blair was there, he might attribute Blair for making it happened,
    as we recall it, since she called R for Chuck.
    Briefly, Chuck was infatuated with Raina at that moment and that hotel thing goin on,he might get blinded by it-it wouldn’t be the first time.

    Chuck might have that constant feeling for her, I guess it wasn’t enough for him to do things that could hurt Blair in the process though.
    I do agree about Chuck, he didn’t truly loved Raina,
    like he loved Blair, not even a fraction of that or actually, not even one percent. If it wouldn’t for the secret hiding place bond they had, it would have been silly irrelevant. Well,it kinda was. Thank God, it’s over, it was very dull for us to handle.
    Eventhough, I hate Chuck for sometime now,I think it is unfair for him to suffer like that, I cringe ,every time I see him fall miserably. Blair is his sanctuary, but for the long run, I hope Chuck will be at his best when he’s with Blair, but I guess, I wouldn’t be complaining when there is no drama to talk about.

    and 🙂 ,now,
    You know what? my love for you just chanted the “sky is the limit”. Did I mention how truly amazing you are? I think you don’t get nearly enough credit for your humorous wit I tell ya.
    I apologize for my intrusion, I get carried away sometimes, lol.
    Your recap always fascinates me, especially your insights… ❤

    Hmm.. I maybe a Dair fan,but deep down, I don’t want them to be the endgame. oh gawd have mercy on the writer’s souls if they do that.
    Okay,.. I think you just refine my beliefs, darn it!. :-s
    BUT.., I’ll wait for the effing April month to come- hoping for Dair
    of their brief lovey dovey moment, before Trolessa ruins it.
    can we just allegedly create a group with a banner that says "BOO TROLESSA!BOO!" ? *my twinkly eyes is twinkly* can weeeeee? Could we? Should we? shall we??? :3

    • LOL! I love the idea! And I’m willing to bet a Vanessa Hate Site would probably be one of most popular GG fansites out there. It would UNIFY everyone! 🙂

      If I recall correctly, Fanforum and Television Without Pity are picky about accepting groups like that. (Lawsuit fear and such). But, you know who DOES allow that type of commentary? imdb.com (You didn’t hear it from me though. ;))

      Poor Jessica Szohr! It can’t be entirely her fault how bad her character sucks. 🙂

  9. Just stopping by to say hi. I haven’t watched this show since last season–I don’t know what happened to my interest, it just faded away.

    • Hi Girl from the Ghetto! I can certainly relate to falling out of love with a show you used to enjoy. There are so many programs out there, that it’s very easy for one to steal your heart from another. That’s why shows have to be so careful about the storylines they introduce. One or two bad plotlines can truly bankrupt a show, nowadays.

      On the other hand, if you are still curious, now would be a great time to catch up with Gossip Girl. After all, (1) the show is on hiatus for a month; and (2) most of the recent episodes are available online. Just some food for thought. 🙂

      Thanks for popping in, anyway! It was great to chat with you! 🙂

  10. You know, I am REALLY looking forward to Vanessa’s reaction to a Dair pairing.

    Something I liked about Dair in this episode was the geeky grammer humour when they originally decided to not “come out” as friends. You know, Blair saying that they needed to be separate entities, “Dan” and “Blair” separated by a conjunction, and Dan saying, or by a comma in a list, which of course is unusual, because as Blair and you have mentioned they have little in common. What can I say, I like witty wordplay AND a love of spelling/grammar because of my journo studies (not that I am always perfect in my blogs – I never quite know how you are pitch perfect when I see oodles of little errors because I tend to blog late and when my mind is all foggy ;)). In retrospect, the frozen kiss moment is actually kinda perfect for Dair, since it was common for old movie kisses to end in this style, and the pair have definitely bonded over their shared love of them. Gah! Stop making a play for my Chair-loving heart, Dan!

    I mean, sheesh, when Dan grinned sweetly at Blair when he was lounging on her bed at the start of the episode I caught myself thinking, “Hmm, Penn Badgley is actually quite hot when he wants to be…”, which I can assure you NEVER happened in the first three seasons of Gossip Girl. Then again, I watched Easy A recently, so that has upped his babe quotient for me.

    Chuck, you had better come barrelling out of the hatches like the freaking sex god you are next episode, and stop my madness in its tracks!

    • Awww, that’s so sweet of you to say! For the record, my blog posts are usually grammatical and spelling nightmares, before I’ve proofread them. And when I make the mistake of re-reading my posts post-publication, I’m forever facepalming myself, about the innumerable run-on sentences, missed commas, and poor word choices, I have undoubtedly let slip by me, in the wee hours of the morning.

      For the record, your blog posts always appear to be models of grammatical and literary perfection to me. (It’s super impressive, actually!) So, if you are finding errors in your own writing, rest assured, no one else notices them. 🙂

      As much as I can never be on board for a romantic Dair paring, I love your eloquent take on the pair. Suffice it to say, if YOU were one of the GG writers who penned Penn Badgely’s lines all these years, I’d probably have a very different opinion of the Dan character, than I do today. 🙂 Even as a staunch Chair fan, I can appreciate the astute ways, in which the writers have highlighted certain similarities between Dan and Blair, during these past few episodes. After all, I’m pretty sure none of the other characters on GG, even know what a conjunction IS, let alone, have the ability to joke about one. (Serena probably thinks a conjunction is some type of STD!)

  11. It never fails to crack me up when you use the “Why are you even here?!” Damon GIF when Manessa appears. 😉

    • LOL. For the record, I’m willing to bet that if Damon Salvatore ever met Vanessa Abrams, he would DESPISE her, just as much as the rest of us do. 😉

      You know, the thing about Manessa, is that everytime she appears on GG, it always feels like she’s stumbled on set from some other show. Maybe, she’s supposed to be the “judgmental bohemian hippie” on a new episode of Real World Brooklyn. Or, perhaps, she’s the first contestant voted off a season of Project Runway. Wherever she “comes from,” Vanessa never quite seems to “fit” on this show, even as a villain. She just pops in every few episodes, annoys various cast members, tries to hook with Dan, and then crawls back to the hole from whence she came. 🙂

  12. who shall not be named

    oh wow!,regin told me you’re good but she don’t do you justice! your recaps are hilarious and with all those gif’s and “nate’s edited sound of music” cracked me up! nice one! haven’t watched gg for quite sometime now,since S3. oh man,dan and blair huh? who knew.. i really need to catch up,everybody is talkin about this in school, my gf the most. this show grew on me,and,well and the WATCH IT OR ELSE” kinda thing.
    it bother me sometimes bout everyone is sleeping on everyone..

    loljk

  13. Sara

    so I don’t watch GG but I read recaps every week anyway.. I read a few of the books before it became a TV series and I watched like half of the first season when it came out. Whatever happened to Jenny?

    • The short version is that she became corrupted while Queen of Constance after Blair moved onto College, and after nearly losing her virginity by smokin’ hot drug dealer, held out for an even more damaging way to do so – by sleeping with Chuck on the night he planned to propose to Blair to make up for trying to whore her out for a hotel, and he thought Blair had stood him up, only she hadn’t but was too foolish to use her cell phone to text him and let him know she was just late. Yes, I’m aware that is a run-on sentence, but I was curious to see how that explanantion would look coming out in one breath 😉

    • Hi Sara! It looks like Spidey beat me to giving you an explanation. 🙂 And she did a very impressive job. Much better than I could do. So, rather than being redundant, I’ll just pick up where she left off . . .

      The whole controversial “sleeping with Chuck” thing happened at the end of Season 3. And it actually set off a whole chain of events in which Chuck ran off to Prague, got shot, while stupidly carrying Blair’s wedding ring outside a seedy bar, changed his name to “Henry Prince” and started dating a prostitute . . . oh I’m not kidding. 🙂

      As for Season 4, we got two more Jenny sightings, and neither of them were particularly good. In one episode, Chuck, who was at war with Blair at the time, bizarrely summoned Little J back to town, under the guise of getting her an internship with Special Guest Star Tim Gunn. So, Blair sabotaged the internship, to get Jenny back for violating her banishment. And Jenny left again.

      The second appearance was in the “Witches of Bushwick” episode, in which Jenny inexplicably allied with Crazy Juliet and Manessa to ruin SERENA’S (not Blair’s) life, by making her look TOTALLY INSANE. (Don’t ask me what SERENA ever did to Jenny, because I have NO IDEA! Gotta love GG and their random revenge plots!)

      But then Crazy Juliet took things one step too far, by DRUGGING AND ALMOST KILLING Serena. So, Jenny came clean to her family about her bad deeds, in the episode “Gaslight,” and left town again. She hasn’t been seen or heard from since . . .

      Compounding the odd way in which Jenny was written out of the show are rumors that Taylor Momsen (the actress who plays her) was behaving unprofessionally onset, during the Season 4 episodes in which she appeared. Guest Star Tim Gunn, in fact, publicly denounced her diva-like, and unprofessional behavior.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/15/tim-gunn-taylor-momsen-is_n_717534.html

      Taylor also made some bizarre public statements, that, I assume prompted the producers of GG to at least temporarily cut ties with her, while she straightened out her image. Last I heard of the actress, she was on tour with her music group Pretty Reckless, which is surprisingly GOOD, all things considered.

      I hope that helped! 🙂 Special thanks also to Cherie, for having a REALLY GOOD MEMORY! 🙂

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