Hard-Hearted Hanna – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Someone to Watch Over Me”

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Enough with all the friggin arts and crafts, “A”?  What’s next?  A Pretty Little Liars Diorama that you explode in your microwave at the end of the episode?

This week, on the penultimate episode of Pretty Little Liars, we got even MORE evidence that “A” hates Hanna and Spencer WAY more than she (or he) hates Emily and Aria.  I mean, let’s face it, aside from a bit of unfounded jealousy, Emily had a fairly stress-free episode, one that ended with her getting some serious nookie.  And as for Aria .  . . well . . . any problems SHE experienced this week arose from her own idiocy (SERIOUSLY!), and the douchebaggery of her dad and little brother, respectively.  But Hanna and Spencer?  Their lives are kind of sucking ASS right now, aren’t they?

Let’s get on with the recap, shall we?

A+B = Spencer is SERIOUSLY SCREWED!

Kudos to the set designer for making Spencer’s room EXACTLY as we would expect it to be — sparsely decorated, obnoxiously spotless, and filled with every single solitary room organizing tool EVER sold on the Home Shopping Network . . .

Not so kudos to the WARDROBE department, for dressing Spencer in my favorite sweater from when I was 8-years old . . .

When the episode begins, Spencer and Emily have just arrived home from school.  Spencer is bitching about how her distractions at home are starting to impact her ability to understand Algebra.  How can possibly she figure out the value for “X”, when she has suddenly become the “X” factor in her own life? 

It’s a true dilemma!

Now, maybe I’m being nitpicky, but two things surprised me about this scene: (1) The Academically Elite Spencer is taking Algebra her junior year.  (Shouldn’t she be in Pre-Calculus or Advanced Placement Geometry, or some other class for mathletes, like herself?) (2) Spencer and Emily are in the same math class.  (Don’t get me wrong.  Emily seems like a total sweetheart.  And she may even have more common sense than some of the other Pretty Little Liars *cough Aria cough.*  But Little Miss Future Olympic Swimmer just never quite struck me as the academic overachieving type.)

Anyway . .  .  Spencer’s mom rushes downstairs to warn Spencer that the police obtained a warrant to search the Hastings home, and, specifically, Spencer’s room, for evidence linking her to Alison’s death.  Spencer, understandably horrified and frightened, asks her attorney mother to make the police leave.  Unfortunately, the warrant gives the police a right to be there.  So, Spencer’s mom’s hands are tied. 

As the police are searching Spencer’s room, Creepy Pedo Ian (who never seems to leave the house, forever lingering, like the smell of mildew on an overused sponge) further expemplifies his creepiness and pedophilia, by smirking at Spencer’s bed, and slowly / seductively drinking MILK from a glass . . .

Milk . . . it does a body creepy . . .

For Heaven Sakes Aria, THINK before you TEXT!

“Uh oh!  It looks like I accidentally deleted “My Brain” from my “Contacts” list.  I guess I’ll just have to make do without it, this week!”

So, Aria’s parents have been sneaking around, not wanting to tell their kids their back together, until they can be sure their renewed courtship is “REAL.” Zzzzzzzzzzz . . .  And I just fell asleep typing that sentence . . .

NEWSFLASH PLL Writers:  We don’t care about THESE TWO as a couple!  NOBODY ships Ella and Byron!  NOBODY!  So, stopping rubbing this storyline in our faces, PLEASE!

Since Aria already CAUGHT her parents macking in the library (ICK!), and her little brother seems to have also caught them in the act this morning, Montgomery Ma and Pa decide that the family should get together for dinner later that week to “discuss things.”

But lest you think this storyline won’t be funny at all, THIS happens . . .

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In case you didn’t catch that, here’s what Aria wrote:  “Thinking of your eyes.  How I want to be looking into them right now.  This second.  XO Aria.”  — AKA The LAMEST SEXT EVER!

And then THIS happens . . .

BUSTED!

OK . . . so we know that Aria was sending a text to her FITZY (who was noticeably absent this week), and sent it to her MOM instead.   Now, here’s what I don’t understand.   Personally, my mother is listed in MY cell phone Contacts Lists as “Mom.”  But I can understand how some folks cooler than myself (and Aria’s definitely cooler than I am) would put their Mom in their Contacts List under her first name. 

And, if Aria did this, then, YES, “Ella” would be close to “Ezra” on her list.  These names would probably even be next to one another on MOST people’s cell phones.  But NOT on ARIA’S phone . . . because she has “EMILY” as a contact.  DUH!

“What am I?  Chopped LIVER?”

So, it’s kind of hard for me to believe that Aria “accidentally” skipped over TWO names to send a text to the VERY wrong person.  I mean, it’s not like she was drunk or anything . . .   Or was she? 😉

Careful, Aria!  Drink more of that, and you may text us all of your secrets!

At the end of the day, Aria’s mom confronts Aria about the Phantom Text.  But Aria refuses to confess the textee’s identity, wryly noting that family members should be entitled to their privacy. like, for example, the ability to privately bone your husband in a school library.  Aria’s mom reluctantly accepts her daughter’s wishes, which makes her seem about ten times cooler, in my book., than she ever did before.

But then EEEEVVVVIL hypocrite Papa Montgomerycomes along. 

When he hears that Aria has a secret boyfriend, he ABSOLUTELY thinks he has a right to know that person’s identity so that he can try to score a date with the guy, himself.  To make matters even douchier, while Aria is out of the house, her dad starts snooping around her room for clues.  He ALMOST comes upon a book that Ezra personally inscribed for Aria, when Aria’s mom stops him.  (Wow, I’m really liking her this week.  Weird!)

Taking a lesson in sarcasm, and passive aggressiveness, from her daughter, Aria’s mom casually notes that maybe her daughter wouldn’t think it necessary to keep secrets from her family, were it not for her own father secretly whoring around with one of his students.  Aria’s dad, of course, is TOTALLY offended by this, and refuses to admit to his own wrong doing.  Aria’s little brother then walks in on the pair fighting, and, COMPLETELY blames Aria for it.  Because, apparently, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the Douchey Tree .  . .

“Douchey is as douchey does, sir.”

Aria’s brother wants Aria to singlehandedly fix their parents’ marriage, since her having a secret boyfriend is OBVIOUSLY the reason it’s broken, and not the whole “Dad’s a Cheating Deadbeat” thing.  But, before Aria can make up a fake boyfriend to tell her parents about, she and her brother head down to Family Dinner, to find out that their Mom is a no show . . . again. 

Way to suck up your pride, and put on a brave face for your kids, ARIA’S MOM!  I guess I spoke too soon when I said I like you . . . On the other hand, you can do WAYYYYY better than Aria’s Asshat of a DAD . . . So, I’m kind of torn . . .

Knowing that she has to STOP being such a MORON when it comes to appropriately hiding her inappropriate relationship with her teacher, Aria decides to hide all her Fitzy Memorabilia (Fitzyabilia?) with Emily for safe keeping . . .  The ironic thing, of course, is that MOST of the stuff she gives to Emily, NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND would trace to Fitzy.  Case in point, THIS . . .

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Really Aria?   A PLASTIC SPOON from your first date?  What exactly do you think your parents are going to do with THAT?  Swab it for DNA?

Now, for all you Ian Harding fans out there who found yourself missing your Fitzy Fix this week, I’ve got a little surprise for you . . .

That’s right, boys and girls!  Apparently, Fitzy tweets now!  And you can catch all his Fitz-alicious goodness right here: http://twitter.com/IANMHARDING

(So, don’t say I never gave you anything, Fitzy fans!)

Falling Out of the Closet

In completely unrelated news (actually, all four stories were, pretty much, unrelated to one another, this week), Emily spied Back-to Bad-Haircut Paige flirting with Dull as Dishwater Sean . . .

And Emily was MAJORLY JEALOUS, even though (1) Paige is SO OBVIOUSLY gay; and (2) even if Paige was straight, she’d never, go for a lame-o like Sean!  (Sure, Hanna did it once, but only because she was feeling chubby and insecure, at the time.)

Later, Sean asks Emily if Paige is single, and if she could put in a good word for him.  He did this, despite the fact, that as one of Hanna’s besties (and someone who watches PLL), Emily should have ABSOLUTELY ZERO “good words” to say about Sean . . .

But because Emily is a much nicer person than I am, she simply tells Seany-poo that her and Paige aren’t really friends.  So, she’s not really in the position to help Sean get laid by her.  SORRY!

But because they ARE actually friends (with benefits), Emily warns Paige that she thinks Sean is going to ask her out.  So, Paige should come up with a good excuse as to why she can’t date him NOW, and let him down easy.

The problem is that Sean already ASKED out Paige . . . and she  . . . wait for it . . . said YES!

Needless to say, Emily is pretty depressed about this news . . .

“I am pretty depressed about this news.”

That is . . . until Paige comes right to Emily’s house, fresh from her “date,” all tarted-up and ready for a Booty Call . . .

I get why she wore THIS to the karaoke bar, but why Paige wore a super sparkly stripper dress on a Group Date to the Movies is beyond me . . . Wardrobe Department FAIL!

Surprise, surprise!  Paige doesn’t like Sean.   (NO ONE DOES!)  In fact, the sheer awfulness of macking with that lame-o, has the impact of THROWING PAIGE RIGHT OUT OF THE CLOSET!  (Who says, a kiss is just a kiss?  Right!)

And I have to say, I really feel for Paige, as she contemplates the prospect of coming out with Emily.  Her eyes tear up.  Her lip quivers.  She is clearly terrified.  The actress, Lindsay Shaw, portrays Paige’s heart-wrenching range of emotions beautifully; I must say.  It’s not HER fault she has a bad stylist . . .

 “If I say it out loud, my whole world will change,” Paige explains sadly.

I love how patient and sensitive Emily is with Paige, when a lesser person, would probably be tossing out smug “I told you so’s” left and right. in her situation.  “I didn’t come out of the closet.  I fell out on my face,” Emily explains adorably.

Then, Emily tells her Next Fling, that, back when she was trying to be straight, she always went for guys just like Paige . . .  Domestic Abusers?  Gay Folks in Search of Beards to hide their true identity?  Swimmers with Bad Haircuts? folks who would “pull her on stage” and make her do things that scared her.  (Yeah . . . that still doesn’t explain Wife Beater Ben . . .)

Then the pair sit together on Emily’s little window seat, hold hands, and kiss . . .

And I must admit that these two are starting to grow on me.  But I still want Paige to get a haircut . . . and a stylist . . .

Don’t MESS with Hanna Marin!

Back at the Marin home, Hanna and Caleb are making breakfast AGAIN, and flirting AGAIN, just like any good couple, who just had sex for the first time, would be.  Then Caleb leaves for a moment.  So, Hanna takes the opportunity to go digging in his bag for condoms goodies.  

What she finds is the UGLIEST, MOST TACKY, owl necklace I have EVER SEEN!

And yet, Hanna is completely BLIND to the hideousness of this owl, as she is convinced that it is a Secret Gift from Caleb to her.  After all, they did see OWLS on the night they screwed!

So, she snaps a picture of it, and brags to her friends about the awful  generous gift her boyfriend is about to give her. 

But all is not well in Haleb land.  We learn this, when Aria and Emily overhear Caleb talking on the phone with a woman who APPEARS to be his ex-girlfriend, who is stalking him.  He keeps telling the girl on the phone that he “can’t do this anymore,” because he is living at “her” (Hanna’s) house.

“Peekaboo!  We see you!”

Being the good pals that they are, Emily and Aria immediately confront Hanna about what they learned.  Hanna gets VERY defensive.  Caleb can’t be a liar!  Because Hanna would NEVER have sex with a liar . . . would she?  As if on cue, Blind Jenna arrives wearing around her neck . . . you guessed it  . . . that UGLY ASS OWL NECKLACE . . .

Now it’s Super Sleuthing Spencer’s turn to STALK!  She follows Blind Jenna outside, and sees her using the Ugly Owl Necklace as a Flashdrive . . .

So, basically, Caleb gave the Ugly Owl Necklace to Blind Jenna, NOT because he’s boning her, and NOT because he has terrible taste, but because he’s feeding her information . . .

When Hanna hears this, she astutely recalls how Toby heard Jenna talking on the phone about the number 214, and tries that combination on Caleb’s locker . . .

Let’s ignore the fact that the picture shows Hanna stopping at number “5” instead of  “4”

Surprise!  Surprise!  Caleb’s locker OPENS!

Inside ,she finds . . . wads and wads of CASH . . . just hanging out . . . waiting to be discovered . . . or stolen.  (COME ON, CALEB!  We know you’re POOR, but I seriously doubt you don’t own an envelope, in which to stash your dirty money.  I’m sure the school has plenty in the main office, for you to steal.)

At home, Hanna confronts Caleb about what she learned . . .

Caleb reluctantly admits to “spying” on Hanna (So, THAT’s what the kids are calling it these days . . .  “spying”) for cash from Blind Jenna.  Her Blindness apparently, not only bribed Caleb, but blackmailed him as well, after finding out how he rigged Emily’s phone, so that she could get illegal calls into Maya at De-Gaying Camp.  Screwing for money . . . that makes you a whore, Caleb . . .

But Caleb insists that his feelings for Hanna are real.  And that he stopped working for Jenna the minute his hot dog went inside Hanna’s bun.  All the information he gave Jenna on that flash drive was false. 

Unfortunately for Caleb, Hanna doesn’t give two sh*ts.  She hands the Dirty Dog his bags, and kicks him out into the street.  Harsh!  Hope you like that park bench, Caleb!  Because something tells me that you might be living there for awhile!

Back at school, the PLL’s are admiring their reflections in the bathroom mirror.  (Is it just me, or do all these girls spend a TON of time in bathrooms, and in front of mirrors?).  Then, they hear a familiar noise . . . it sounds like thunder clapping in the night.  It sounds like the End of the World.  It is . . . Blind Jenna’s CANE OF DESTRUCTION!

 

Thinking fast, Hanna traps Blind Jenna right in front of . . . you guessed it . . . the bathroom mirror.  (Again . . .why are you always LOOKING at yourself in the mirror, Blind Jenna?)

Sensing someone behind her, Blind Jenna tenses up, and slowly turns around.  Then THIS happens . . .

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My sentiments exactly . . .

Then, Hanna, reminding us of the Mean Girl she was for the first three or four episodes of this show, cooly hands Blind Jenna back her glasses, and tells her, without emotion, “It’s Hanna . . . in case you couldn’t guess.”

Well, that’s gotta suck . . .

At home, in the comfort of her bathroom (Where else?), Hanna begins to mull over her lost first love, and lost diginity.  She then finally breaks down in tears.  From outside the door, Hanna’s mom listens to her daughter sobbing.  She wants desperately to soothe her pain.  Yet, she doesn’t know how . . .

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The final scene of the episode features “A” LITERALLY smashing Hanna’s glass heart to bits, and mailing it back to her, along with some glue.  Next time, try for a metaphor that’s a bit less obvious, A!

The Walls Close in on Spencer . . .

As I mentioned earlier, Hanna is not the only miserable Pretty Little Liar this week.  Poor Spencer has a police investigation looming over her head.  Fortunately, she’s made a new “friend” who knows EXACTLY what she’s going through.  Of course, I’m referring to the Character Formerly Referred to as Creepy Toby, Now Abs Toby.

When Toby comes over to visit, he warns Spencer that cops are staking out her house.  She replies, by telling him that he probably shouldn’t be seen with her, now that’s she’s, like, wanted for murder . . . and stuff.  But Abs Toby is not that easily deterred . .  . “People cross the street when they see me coming.  They think you tried to frame your brother-in-law for your friends’ murder.  Who else are we going to hang out with?”   Abs Toby inquires, quite rationally, I think.

A real pro at being watched by the cops, Toby cleverly instructs Spencer to go outside, and offer the Stake Out Crew cups of coffee, in order to show them that  (1) she knows they are there; and (2) she is not afraid of them.  Seeing as this was probably the SAME Stake Out Crew that used to hang out outside Toby’s house, I’d say these guys are starting to consider Free Coffee a regular job perk.  Of course, they’d all probably much prefer staking out Hanna’s house.  Because there, Hanna’s mom shows them that “she knows they are there, and “is not afraid of them”, by giving them Free Sex . . .

And sex ALWAYS beats coffee . . .

Anyway . . . Spencer and Abs Toby share a sweet moment, in which Spencer asks Toby about the time she saw him sitting in an alley, after he ran away from home . . .

Apparently, running away is kind of a regular occurrence for Abs Toby.  As for Spencer, she only away once, back when she was little.  Her and her sister had been in a fight, and her parents took her sister’s side, as per usual.  So, Spencer made a tuna sandwich, and escaped to the movies.  (Resourceful little girl, that one!  Sure beats hanging out in a dirty alleyway!)  But then, she got lonely, and went home.  Her self-absorbed family never even REALIZED their little girl was gone!  (Family FAIL!)

Abs Toby looks at Spencer with obvious adoration and sympathy, and, grabbing her hand, makes her promise him that, if she ever wants to run away again, she will call him first.  All together now . . . “AWWWWWWWWWW!”

By the way, speaking of Spencer’s absentee fam, how come nobody seems to notice that Melissa keeps randomly disappearing for episodes at a time, while Creepy Pedo Ian just sticks around, like the fungus he cleary is!  My theory:  Creepy Pedo Ian killed Melissa, chopped her up into itty pieces, put them in a blender, then drank them up . . . like a milkshake . . .

“I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!”

As for Creepy Pedo Ian, he’s looking extra special spooky, as he waits in the dark for Spencer to emerge from her late night run. 

Apparently, Creepy Pedo Ian wants to help Spencer run away from home (Am I noticing a THEME here?), so that he can grow his hair long, assume Spencer’s identity, and kill all her friends, while dressed as her the cops can’t arrest her. 

“I can’t BELIEVE I thought you were cute in Final Destination 3!”

Spencer knows that this will make her look SUPER guilty, which, obviously, is exacty what Creepy Pedo Ian wants.  So, she tells him to stick his runaway plan . . . and his milk . . . where the sun don’t shine.

But just when she thought her day couldn’t get any worse, Spencer’s mom wakes her up in the middle of the night, and tells her that the police found fibers of Toby’s Puke Green Sweater / Alison’s Death Outfit on that cheapo name bracelet Alison gave Spencer gave Spencer, before she died.  “I think someone is going through a great deal of trouble to make you look guilty,” Spencer’s mom, never one to sugar coat things, admits.

Mother and daughter then share a tearful and heartbreaking  hug, as the curtain closes on this, the penultimate episode, of Pretty Little Liars . . . 

See you after the finale!

[www.juliekushner.com]

25 Comments

Filed under Pretty Little Liars

25 responses to “Hard-Hearted Hanna – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Someone to Watch Over Me”

  1. Thandi

    I Have tears in my eyes from laughing. This episode was awesome, poor Hanna, poor Spencer poor Paige, her wardrope and hair are just……. Great recap.

    • Hey Thandi! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! You are so sweet! 🙂

      I don’t think I’ve ever felt as bad for any character on this show, as I felt for Hanna and Spencer, this week! I suspect Hanna and Caleb will reunite, once he proves to her he’s not the TOTAL ASS she thinks he is now. (Either that, or she will end up with the Lately Absentee Lucas.) But Spencer . . . boy, is her life a mess, right now!

      Both Ashley Benson and Troian Bellisario were amazing this week, by the way. I feel like their acting has improved a TON since the pilot episode.

      And Paige . . . the person who dresses and “wigs” that character should be shot . . . SERIOUSLY! Lindsay Shaw is a cute girl and a good actress. Why must they make her look so . . . BIZARRE! 🙂 I mean, it made sense, back when she was just the homophobic bully . . . But NOW . . . she’s dating one of the main characters for crying out loud!

      Thanks again for your kind words! I really appreciate it. I can’t believe the season finale is almost here! What are we going to do without our PLL to snark over? 🙂

  2. Joey

    Wow, what a great review. I’m so happy to see that Creepy Pedo Ian made an appearance (in your review, not the episode….grrr the bastard!). Thank goodness for PLL, as the hiatus for TVD and long wait to the new season of True Blood is starting to get to me.
    P.S Any chance that you might be doing some other awesome articles like your Delena vs PJ (Pacey and Joey) piece. I’m dying to see who else you ship as currently I’m convinced we must have been related in another life because we ship the same pairs: Delena, Chair, PJ, Eric & Sookie etc…

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Joey! Also, thank you for Creepy Pedo Ian’s new nickname! He proved this week that it ABSOLUTELY suits him well!

      It is definitely a relief to have PLL around to keep us “sane,” while our favorite CW and HBO shows torture us with their lengthy hiatuses. The good news is that after PLL ends next week, we will only have to wait a couple more weeks before all the CW shows return again! (It’s still too far away . . . I know!)

      And then . . . soon after the TVD and GG season finales, both True Blood AND PLL will be back in June! Not too shabby! Speaking of True Blood, have you had a chance to catch any of the new Season 4 Trailers, or listen to any of the actors’ Paley Fest interviews. It definitely sounds like there’s going to be plenty for us Sookie / Eric fans to cheer about, this summer. And I, for one, can’t wait! 😉

      As for my shipper posts, regarding certain TV couples, I am SO honored that you liked them!*blushes* And I definitely plan on doing a bunch more of them in the future, particularly during the summer months, when my recapping load is considerably lighter.

      In terms of my other ships, have you ever watched Veronica Mars? I’m a HUGE LoVe (Veronica and Logan) fan, and have done quite a few posts dedicated to that ship, including one where I compared the couple to TVD’s Forwood. I’ve also written a few other Chair, Poey?, Seric? and Delena posts on here that might strike your fancy. If you are interested, I’d be happy to post the links to them here.

      No pressure, of course! I’m just so excited to talk ships with someone who obviously has AMAZING taste in TV couples. You rock! 🙂

      • Joey

        Ah! I adore LoVe!!! Looks like I’ll be spending the next couple of weeks trawling through all your old posts to catch up on what I have clearly missed out on. Thank you so much for your blog. It is truly fantastic 🙂

        And thanks for taking the time to personally reply to our comments. You’re awesome!

    • P.S. Did you notice that the title of this recap is a sendup to a title from one of this past year’s True Blood episodes? 😉

  3. CRAZYLOVE345

    Hey, usually I’d be complaining about Ezra (in my world, he’s Ezzy) and him not being in it, but I loved this episode even WITHOUT him. I am making progress! (Lets just say the urge to join Twitter is becoming harder and harder to fight, lol)
    I want to start with Hanna and Caleb, because this is the couple I have been waiting to break up the most. I know it sounds mean, but if Hanna is with anyone BESIDES Lucas, I don’t approve. So, Caleb is a prostitue now? Could have seen that one coming. Although I feel bad for Hanna and what Caleb and Jenna put her through (I can see this conversation coming. (I sort of still stole it from Juno)- Caleb: I still have that creepy video of you that I made when we were in the tent. Oh yeah I have your virginity too!)(sorry I just couldn’t resist), it doesn’t make me like her anymore than I did at the beginning of PLL (which was little if any at all). She slept with a guy she barely knew and allowed him to have room and board at her home. I wished Hanna’s mom would have kicked him out. Oh well!
    A pretty little liar that I can pity is Spencer. (Seriously! Where did they get that sweater? During the search of her room, did the cops tell her, “Put on this sweater. Its just too hideous for us to touch.”?) Did the cops even bring Ian in for questioning? Or were they just buddy buddies when the cops were IN THE DAMN (excuse my language) HOUSE. Did anyone notice Ian creepily drinking milk at the bedroom doorway? I think the only cop that I can stand is that young one that used to be neighbors with Emily (only because he is extremely hot) Though I may not like him so much next week:


    Leave my Ezzy alone!
    Anyway, not a whole lot of Spencer and Toby but I think it’d be awesome if they ran away together to the movies with tuna salad sandwhiches and watching an animated princess movie (maybe they’ll meet Creepy Pedo Ian there when he’s trying to flirt with even more underaged girls). Poor Spencer, thats all I have to say.
    I usually hate writing about Emily but this week made me like her a whole lot more. She really is the sweet one, helping Paige out with trying to figure out her sexuality. And I can totally feel for the both of them. Emily has had her own problems with trying to MAKE herself like boys when Paige is trying to MAKE herself not to like Sean (Love the joke on how he watches PLL). I thought it would have been AWESOME if there was like a replay of Je Suis Une Amie and have Sean show up at Emily’s door all wet and telling her “You have every reason to hate me.” Sean, I should probably tell you that Emily doesn’t need your permission. Just saying!
    I seriously wish Byron and Ella would just leave Aria and her random collection of Fitzyabilia alone (re the plastic spoon- Its cute yet weird. What did she do, tounge wrestle to see who got that memorable first date token? I wonder if Aria took the knob off the faucet of the first kiss that they shared in the bathroom…..That would have been a harder story to explain to Emily, wouldn’t it?) I understand that Aria may have some sort of spelling issues (I get it! Teenagers can’t spell because of facebook and twitter and myspace.) but you’d think that with an English teacher as her boyfriend, she’d be able to get some help. Like the two letter difference between “Ezra” and “Ella” (I wonder if she had accidently sent that text to Emily if Em would be turned on at all. Important thoughts!) First time we have seen Mike since Noel got dragged away. Think theres a connection there? And of course, I want to kill him! Don’t you dare tell Aria that its her fault that your dad is a lying son of a monkey, Mike, don’t you dare!
    Anways, this recap was hilarious! I was reading it at school, sneaking on during English and I started to laugh like so loud, my friend leaned over and asked me, “Are you okay?” It was classic! Great job!

    • Hey CrazyLove345! I am really surprised you enjoyed this Fitzy / Ezzy-less episode! I think that says a lot about the show, and far its come since the pilot. This baby is getting goooood! And just think, the second season starts in JUNE! That’s not so far away . . . when you think about it 🙂

      LOL about the Twitter account. I’m “Twitter-less” as well. Come on! Do I strike you as the type of girl who could limit her words to 140 characters? 😉 Plus, I’m always afraid no one will “follow” me, and I’ll feel like a big dork.

      That being said, I do “follow” a number of celebrities who tweet, just by bookmarking their Twitter pages. This way, you can keep up with your future boyfriend, Ian Harding ;), without actually having to cave in to the Twitter madness ;). Just a suggestion. 🙂

      Your take on Hanna is really interesting. I never really thought of her that way. And yet, I can definitely see where you are coming from. The character irked me a lot in the beginning, but, then she grew on me, and eventually became one of my favorites.

      And I can definitely understand why she fell for Caleb. Every girl wants a bad boy. And from the get go, he was pretty bad. Plus, he had the whole “homeless” thing going on, which made her feel like she could “take care” of him, and “fix him.” I agree that Lucas would definitely be the better boyfriend of the two. But sometimes, even if your head knows what’s best for you, your heart wants sexy times in the shower with the Hot Naked Boy. 😉

      That being said, I hope Hanna eventually comes to realize that Lucas is the best guy for her, and falls for him big time. Because I’d hate to see her break his heart again . . .

      Speaking of Haleb, good catch on the possibility of a Sex Video. I honestly can’t see Caleb videotaping the affair, but wouldn’t put it past “A.” She or he has blackmailed Hanna before, and probably wouldn’t think twice about doing it again, by threatening to post the footage online, or send it to Hanna’s mother.

      I also like your idea about Aria actually sending the text to Emily, instead of her mother. Obviously, Aria’s mom knew the text wasn’t meant for her. But what about Emily? Would she be confused by it? Probably not, but it’s a fun little idea to consider.

      I’m really surprised by how much I like Spencer and Abs Toby together. She’s such an independent and uptight person usually — one who doesn’t like to let people help her or take care of her. And yet, Toby seems VERY protective of her. And she’s letting him be, for a change, which is very cool. They are also both a tad socially awkward and nerdy. So, it works.

      But yeah, the weird kiddie sweater has GOT to go! I swear I had one just like it when I was little. And I kind of feel like, once you reach the double digits in age (i.e. 10 and up), you shouldn’t wear sweaters with rainbow stick figures around the neckline. . . EVER!

      • CRAZYLOVE345

        I was actually curious to see what exactly Aria was packing in that bag of hers. Especially when she grabbed that mysterious sticker out of her drawyer. So today, I paused the episode and took a close to look. I laughed too loud. Turns out that sticker says “Snookers Bar” (if you didn’t read the books, thats the name of the bar where Ezzy and Aria first met). So I understand why she wanted to save THAT memory.
        I am going to take you up on that “not join twitter but still keep tabs on Ian” idea. I mean after all, I may want to keep track of my future boyfriend with a close eye 🙂

  4. imaginarymen

    Damn!! That Twitter snap of Fitzy is CUTE!! Why isn’t he that cute on the damn show? I would have maybe kept watching!

    And I can’t stop laughing at “AbsToby” ;-0000

    • Haha – I think it’s the HAIR. On the show, Fitzy has this sort of Clark Kent thing going on. But, in person, it’s pure Superman! 🙂

      You know, if you WERE interested in picking up Pretty Little Liars again, now would be the PERFECT time to do it. After all, you would have between the end of next week and June (when Season 2 starts) to watch the last few episodes online. EVERYBODY could use an extra summer show on their roster. Just saying! 😉

  5. Rene

    Loved the review; Two thumbs up. Oh thanks for letting us now that “Ezra” was tweeting……….awesome. Oh and I saw agree about Paige’s hair I think they were just looking for a different style for everyone. They basically gave Paige a modified page boy/long bowl cut its does nothing for her. Oh and remember what I said before about the 214……..Interesting how they found a way to use that number after having first brought our attention to it on February 14………..you gotta wonder if that came to them later. IN the show I love, you know Supernatural, there was a necklace that one of the main character wore for seasons and eventually they found a back story for it. It reminded me of that. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks so much, Rene! I’m guessing you will be following Fitzy on Twitter now? 😉

      You are right. The use of 214 as Caleb’s locker combination showed great continuity on the writers’ part. It also showed fans that, contrary to popular belief, mysteries DO actually get solved on PLL. Before this, I don’t think we’ve actually had a “big” mystery solved, since we found out who destroyed Ali’s Memorial Fountai (Lucas), about two months ago. Now, if they can only throw us a bone as to “A’s” true identity, before the season ends. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.! 🙂

  6. Rene

    I am such a twitter nerd LOL I rushed right over to follow Fitzy and left him a Fangirly message LOL Nope not telling what it said……..:) Thanks for the heads up though.

  7. snottlebie

    This was a pretty good epsiode, so not much to complain about here. The only thing that comes to mind is Aria’s poor texting abilities – which, along with another poster, I have to agree that if Emily got the text it would have been MUCH funnier. Speaking of Emily, Paige is growing on me too, despite her wardrobe and stylist team (and the drowning…). Her whole “scared to say that she’s gay out loud” crisis was very realistic and the writers did a good job with that.

    Aria – She gave Emily the “Ezra” stuff just in case the cops searched her room right? Well couldn’t they search lockers as well? And Emily is just as likely a suspect as Aria…

    Hanna- Seriously, A hates this girl. Emily has had NOTHING happen to her (due to A) since A outed her to her parents. Hanna, on the other hand gets beat up week after week. Kudos to the actress for her scene at the end. Also Caleb? It’s like he never figured out dating girls for ulterior motives and then them finding out is a BAD idea. It does make me wonder if he just faked not having a place to stay so Hanna would offer and he could do a better job of spying.

    Spencer – Well, I always figured A hated Spencer, or at least Ali hated the girl – she was her only competition. I actually liked the fact that the writers set up Spencer and Toby van Cullen (nickname still applies- he’s creepy AND has a great body) to have parallel storylines in a way. It makes their coupling easy to see and natural. Does Spencer’s stylist dress Paige as well?

    And you’re right on the A front – a heart broken in pieces? Kinda sad A. I have a feeling the writers are saving the maliciousness for the last few episodes – this felt like a set up episode in many ways.

    • Hey snottlebie! I too was scratching my head about Aria’s “dump all things Fitzy in Emily’s lap for safe-keeping” move. I mean, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, AFTER you break up with someone?

      If Aria was dumping the Fitzy-abilia to protect it from a possible police search, (similar to the one done on Spencer’s room), that would actually make a lot of sense. After all, as pretty as his teddy bear eyes and cartoon smirk may be, Fitzy is still an adult boning a minor, no matter how you slice it. And it would really suck, if the police searched Aria’s room looking for clues into ALI’S death, and found all this stuff incriminating Fitz on statutory rape charges. I’m not even sure how she would go about explaining that to him (from behind bars). “Oh Fitzy, if only I knew your spit / DNA was still on that spoon, I never would have kept it . . . or that used condom, for that matter.”

      The thing is, I don’t think that’s why she dumped the stuff. I actually don’t believe Aria expected the police to search her home at all. (Actually, she should probably should start considering that possibility, STAT!) Because if she did consider it, she probably wouldn’t have given the Fitzy-abila to EMILY. After all, if the police searched ARIA’S house, there would be a good chance they’d search Emily’s too. (Come to think of it, this would be a REALLY funny/ironic/ kind of sad twist.)

      I think Aria dumped the stuff, because she knew that her mother was wise to her “secret boyfriend,” after the whole “text messaging incident.” She also may have suspected her creepy dad, to be a Peeping Tom, who might find incriminating objects like . . . say . . . that book from Fitzy with cheesy inscription inside. In that sense, it turned out to be a pretty smart move on her part. And yet, I still predict that the Ezria relationship will somehow be exposed in the finale.

      Ooh, I like your idea about Caleb not really being homeless, but using “homelessness” as a crutch to get to Hanna! Talk about a depraved male whore! I mean, faking homeless to get money (and sex), is almost as bad as faking BLIND to torture a bunch of high school girls 😉 (Yeah, I went there.) Except, if that’s the case, then who are Caleb’s LAME guardians? And how did he explain to them his not being home for about a month? I wonder . . .

      Man, I’m going to miss this show after next week! So much solid material for snarkery . . . so little time. 🙂

  8. SpencerHastingsFan

    Well first off…i cannot sleep! So i came here because i love your recaps 🙂

    -But to start off not a lot of Spenc and her Hunk Toby was featured in the episode. They shared a lot of cute moments esp. by the fireplace ❤ I am personally glad that Toby is someone who is not a prostitute like *cough cough Caleb* So i am really happy for Spencer!
    -Hannah did the right thing! as sad as it was, but Caleb in her house kept me thinking that Hannah would have a new secret….that definately involved a 9 month waiting period (if you catch my drift). I hate to see her cry but she honestly is like the best at crying on demand…i mean waterfalls! Poor Hannakins 😦
    – Aria didn get any lovin…or heartbreak like Hanna…but i wish they would add more drama to her love story WITHOUT involving her BORING and gross parents making out on the side…i mean seriously we dont care!
    – Emily is really good with facial expressions…pretty random but its jus somethin i have noticed. Anyways i am a Maya fan especially cuz she was the only one representing the colored girls! FREE MAYA…but Paige did awesome with her acting and crying…like i actually felt sad with her. Talent!

    keep up with the blogs chica! its very appreciated

    • Hey there, SpencerHastings fan! Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words. I’m honored that my blog helped you to catch some Zzzzz’s (though, hopefully, not from boredom, lol). 🙂

      I must admit, I was skeptical of Spencer and Toby, at first. But they have really grown on me, lately. (I think Toby’s taking off his shirt a couple weeks ago helped, in that regard, A LOT! ;)) Hot abs aside, these two have really great chemistry together. And I absolutely agree with you that Abs Toby seems like he’s much better Serious Boyfriend Material than Shady Caleb.

      Oh, gosh, I am SO GLAD they haven’t “gone there” with the Hanna / Caleb storyline! Usually, I HATE teen pregnancy storylines on my favorite shows. SO CLICHE! Of course, given that Hanna and Caleb just recently “made monkey” with one another, it’s still very possible that a storyline like this will come into play next season. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it won’t, though. 😉

      You are absolutely right about Hanna’s / Ashley Benson’s ability to cry on cue! She rocks at it! Best TV Crying I’ve seen in a long time. When Hanna cries on TV, I never fail to get teary, myself. Though, I must say, Spencer / Troian Bellisario did a nice job with the waterworks, at the end of this episode as well. My heart truly broke for her, during that scene between her and her mother. I can’t even IMAGINE being wanted as a suspect in the murder of one of my best friends! How awful!

      Here, here, on your remark regarding Aria’s parents! Every time those two makeout on my television screen, I retch loudly. No joke! I really don’t understand why the writers keep insisting on having these two gobble up screen time, week after week. Their petty arguments are INCREDIBLY BORING, in comparison to the intense conflicts the main characters are facing. Not to mention, those two have NO CHEMISTRY WHATSOEVER! Seriously!

      I absolutely agree with you that the PLL cast could stand a bit more diversity, particularly in the male department. And I do think it will be very interesting when Maya inevitably returns to find Emily hooking up with Paige. I smell a love triangle! 🙂

      Can you believe the PLL finale is just a few hours away? Crazy right? This season went by SO FAST! 🙂

      • SpencerHastingsFan

        OMG!!!! i know, belive it or not i am like crying!!! What will i do on my mondays (wow me jus saying tht made me realize i hav no life)?!?!?!
        And you are sooo right! Diversity is wayy needed in the men’s department, like i am managing Toby, but i am hoping to see like a Devonte (seriously…i am like praying) next season!
        Ohh and you r right teen pregnancy is becoming very common on shows = very annoying!

        You know what imma wait for your next post! Again thanks i alwas enjoy the laugh

  9. Rene

    I am so glad we have one more epi till the finally I thought it was tonight.

    • I’m glad I wasn’t the only one confused about this, Rene! 🙂 *blushes* I feel like ABC Family may have tricked us regarding the finale, just to get us excited about tonight’s episode. It worked!

  10. Cheryl

    I was watching episode 10 of PLL and noticed something. Aria has Ezra listed as E. F. on her phone which would put his name before Ella’s. That’s makes the mix-up more plausible.

    I LOVE your blog. Your witty analysis of each episode makes my week. 🙂 Thanks!

    • Hey Cheryl! Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your kind words. You just made MY week! 🙂

      Also, very good catch on Aria’s phone listing for Fitzy! It does make sense that Aria would use some sort of a “code word” when listing her Teacher Boyfriend in her cell phone, in order to avoid parental suspicion. After all, I’m willing to bet there aren’t all that many people named “Ezra” in a small town like Rosewood. (Or, in any town, for that matter!)

      Now, I’m just wondering why a girl who was smart enough to “code” Ezra in her phone would be DUMB enough to accidentally sext her own mother! 🙂

  11. Cheryl

    It’s probably to bring back to mind the fact that she is still just a 16 year old after all. ha.

  12. klassykate

    AWESOME recap haha!! i couldnt stop laughing….
    im reading this years later- crazy to see how PLL has changed! still love it though (:

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