This Used to Be a Funhouse (But Now it’s Filled with Evil Clowns) – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Monsters in the End”

Betcha can’t guess which one is the Evil Clown?

(By the way, the title of this recap was brought to you by a fabulous little song, entitled “Funhouse,” by the one and only, Pink.  To “get in the mood,” feel free to enjoy it here.  But, those, like myself, who suffer from Clown Phobia, be warned.  There ARE Evil Clowns in the music video . . .)

Hey there, my Pretties!  This week’s installment of Pretty Little Liars was not for the faint of heart.  In fact, it was pretty downright terrifying!  No matter what scares you, be it clowns, closed spaces, creepy stalkers, having to wear a BAG over your head, or . . . MONA . . .

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

 . . . chances are there was something in this penultimate hour of PLL’s first season that made you want to SCREAM!

So, are you ready to relive the fear?  Let’s get on with the recap . . .

“I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me.  (And I Have No Privacy.)”

The episode opens with a REALLY grotesque looking life-sized clown being dragged away on a gurney.  Surrounding that clown are about four other equally evil-looking clowns, including THIS GUY . . .

Yes, boys and girls.  Garrett the Police Boy spends the ENTIRE episode lurking in the background, watching our Pretty Little Liars navigate the slings and arrows of being tortured by “A.”  And if he didn’t look about 15-years old, this would make him a TOTAL pedophile (Because we don’t have enough of THOSE on this show!).  But since he DOES look 15, and IS wearing uniform, we can chalk this up to Little Garrett just being REALLY good at his job (and REALLY needing to get laid . . . like . . .  BIG TIME!)

Anyway . . . as Garrett watches amorously from a nearby window, our PLL’s enjoy coffee at one of their favorite hangouts.  Unfortunately, it’s not all fun and games.  Our fabulous foursome has important business to discuss, like Evil Blind Jenna, and her bizarro alliance with Hot Male Ho Caleb. 

The girls decide that someone needs to talk up Caleb, and figure out why Evil Blind Jenna was so interested in stalking them.  (Isn’t EVERYBODY on this show interested in stalking the PLL girls?)  Emily and Aria suggest they tag team ambush the boy (kinky!).  However, Hanna reluctantly admits that, if anyone should be getting information out of Caleb, it should be the girl who’s taken an extended vacation inside his boxers  . . .

“Got a secret?  Can you keep it (in your pants)?”

As the girls are leaving the restaurant, Spencer stops to stare out the window.  She is certain (and rightfully so) that the girls are being watched.  Unfortunately, for Spencer, the rest of the PLL’s stopped listening to her paranoid rantings, ever since she started making THIS FACE all the time . . .

As we will soon find out, Aria, in particular, should have heeded Spencer’s warnings . . .

Why You Should Always Password Protect Your Computer . . .

I have a question for you ladies out there.  When you first start crushing on a boy, or, at least, before you start dating him, aren’t Googling him, and checking out his Facebook page two of the FIRST things you do to “get to know him better” and “confirm he’s not a serial killer?”  I mean, SERIOUSLY!  I find it REALLY hard to believe that Aria has been dating her Fitzy for ALL THIS TIME, and has never even thought to look him up on Facebook.  Then again, this is the girl who accidentally sent a SEXT to her OWN mother . . .

Speaking of Aria’s mom, I know I’m usually kind of hard on her in my recaps, due to the almost obscene level of SHEER BORINGNESS that surrounds her relationship with “Byron,” and my irrational anger at having to be subjected to it, week after week.  Nonetheless, I must admit, Mama Montgomery was responsible for what was arguably the most hilarious PLL scene of the week. 

So, yes, I guess it WAS understandable that Aria’s mom, upon seeing Caleb talking intently to Aria about Hanna (more on them later), would assume that Caleb was Aria’s “secret boyfriend.”  What wasn’t quite as understandable was the ridiculously HILARIOUS way in which she reacted to this false news . . .

OK.  WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FACIAL EXPRESSION??  Did I miss the episode where Ella Montgomery became a blood-thirsty vampire?  She looks insane!

And while I do agree with Ella’s assessment that Caleb is “cute,” I highly doubt that, as a teacher at that school, Caleb’s reputation as a “con artist” who is “always in detention” and “got caught living in the school library” would have escaped her knowledge.  (I guess ignorance runs in that family.)  Then again, if Ella had a choice, she would probably rather Aria be dating Juvenile Delinquent Caleb, then the person she is actually dating . . . the one who Aria impulsively spilled coffee all over to prevent her mother from seeing them talking in the hallway . . .

“Ohhhh no!  You have a big brown coffee stain on your crotch!  Please, let me wipe it off very slowly with a napkin, while my mom watches . . .”

This, of course, brings me back to my main story.  Aria arrives at Fitzy’s house early, while he is still at school.  While there, she “accidentally” knocks into his laptop.   And, because he was not smart enough to password protect it (stupidity is apparently contagious on this show), and because he has left it on ALL DAY with his Facebook page wide open, Aria finds THIS PICTURE . . .

Who the f*&k is JACKIE MOLINA?  (Maybe SHE’S A!)

That’s right, my Pretties!  Apparently, “Jackie Molina” and Fitzy used to “lick one another’s Gelato,” back in the day!  And they did it in ITALY, while she was wearing HIS ENGAGEMENT RING!

Oh Fitzy!  You’ve got some ‘splaining to do!

I love the other PLL’s reactions, when Aria comes clean to them about inadvertently cyberstalking her English teacher boyfriend!

“What was his status update?  Ezra Fitz has joined the Mark Twain Fanpage?”  Spencer snarks.

Fitzy likes this (and so do his four wives in Western Europe).

Make a fake profile, friend Jackie, get to him through her, and NAIL HIS ASS TO THE WALL,” a recently betrayed (and obviously still VERY BITTER) Hanna exclaims, when she learns about Fitzy’s possible “Double Life.”

And with Hanna’s help, Aria does exactly that . . .

But when “Jackie” eventually accepts fake-Aria’s friend request, Aria can’t bring herself to go through with it.  So, she rents a WHOLE LOTTA Big Love DVD’s (Yay polygamy!) and rushes to her boyfriend’s apartment, to get information straight from the Fitzy’s Gelato-licking mouth . . .

Now, I hate to say it, Ezria fans, but I found Fitzy’s explanation about Jackie, a bit lacking in the credibility department.  Was I the only one?  According to Fitzy, he was engaged to Jackie, back when the pair were finishing up college, which had to have been at least three or four years ago.  He proposed to her in Italy.  She said “yes,” at first . . . and then she said “no.”  And yet, “Jackie” not only KEPT THAT PICTURE on her Facebook profile, but she, VERY RECENTLY, TAGGED her supposed ex- lover in it, so that it would appear at the top of Fitzy’s “recent updates” page. 

Isn’t that kind of a dick thing to do:  rub your botched engagement in the face of the dude you spurned. after over two years of dating?  I mean, seriously!  What is wrong with you, “JACKIE MOLINA!”

Issues of reality aside, Fitzy insists that Jackie is his past, and Aria is his mid-life crisis future.  And because they aren’t able to take normal “coupley” pictures together, for obvious reasons, Aria and Fitzy decide to pose for a picture that they WON’T be embarrassed to show their friends . . .

Ummm . . . yeahhhhhhh . . . the only thing that would make this Bag Head picture more disturbing, would be if Aria had cut “mouth holes” out of the bags, so that her and Fitzy could be photographed “licking eachother’s Gelato.”  (Just imagine the paper cuts!)

Bag Head Photographs preserved for posterity, Aria suddenly has to bolt (more on that later).   The problem of course, is that SOMEONE saw her leaving . . .

Oh Fitzy!  You have some ‘splaining to do  . . . AGAIN!

In the final scene of the episode, a mysterious gloved hand removes the hide-a-key from under Fitzy’s welcome mat (SERIOUSLY FITZY?  You might has well have just left it in the DOOR!), and sneaks inside, under cover of night.  Hide your Bag Head, Ezra Fitz!  Because you are about to be in some SERIOUS trouble, Mister!

Speaking of boys in the dog house . . .

Another One Bites the Dust . . .

Goodbye Caleb!  (For good?)

As promised, Hanna approaches Caleb to ply her whorish ex boyfriend for information about Blind Jenna.  To his credit, Caleb seems pretty darn remorseful about what he has done.  Then again, sleeping on a park bench for two days would be enough to make anyone “remorseful.”  (Not to mention REALLY smelly!)

Hot Male Ho Caleb confesses to Hanna that Blind Jenna paid him a lot of money to locate a “key”  that she believed that Ali had given one of the girls before she died / was murdered.  “I miss you,” Caleb whines, after providing Hanna with some useful, if maddeningly vague, intel.

“Yeah, well . . . you’ll get over it,” Hanna replies, before stomping off.

Caleb then stops by Hanna’s house to give a letter he has written for her to Hanna’s mother.  You see, Caleb is heading off to “Arizona,” and the letter is meant to tell Hanna “goodbye.” (I hear they have really nice park benches to sleep on in Arizona!) 

In hindsight, had Hanna’s mom accepted the letter, things might have gone very differently for Caleb and Hanna.  But noooooo . . . Hanna’s mom’s heart had softened toward Caleb.  And she wanted him to go to the “Founder’s Day Carnival”  to say goodbye to Hanna in person.  (First The Vampire Diaries, now Pretty Little Liars?  Is my town the only town that doesn’t have a Founder’s Day?) 

“Hanna doesn’t need any more men in her life leaving, without saying goodbye like, for example, every other boy on this SHOW!”  Mama Marin instructs.

So, Caleb heads on over to Founder’s Day, where he runs into .  . . the terrifying . . . the horrific . . . the vomit-inducing . . . MONA!

Can they just MURDER this chick, already?  Seriously!  Just looking at her makes me want to break my television . . .

Because Hanna won’t talk to him again and because he’s a TOTAL MORON Caleb gives his very personal letter to Mona, so that she can give it Hanna, on his behalf.  So, of course, the minute Caleb walks away, Mona starts reading the letter.  Not liking what it says (Because she wants Hanna all to herself?), Mona proceeds to rip the darn thing up, over the trash . . .

She then pours her soda all over it.  Now, if Mona was a normal human being, we would never be able to learn the contents of that letter.  Fortunately, for us, however, Mona is NOT a normal human being.  Rather, she is a strange alien life form, who’s hands are like delicate scissors, and who’s mind is like cottage cheese.  So, when she rips up Caleb’s letter, she does so in a way, that makes the whole thing STILL COMPLETELY LEGIBLE.  And then, when she pours soda on the letter, she only pours it on the outer rim, so that NONE of the words are obscured . . .

Seriously!  Who rips paper in perfect straight lines like that?

When Hanna returns and asks Mona what she was talking to Caleb about, Mona lies through her ridiculously large, eye-gougingly white, beaver teeth, and tells her that Caleb was merely asking for change.  So, later, when Aria and Hanna spy Caleb waiting on line to board a bus to Arizona (a bus that is conveniently parked RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOUNDER’S DAY CARNIVAL), Hanna turns down Aria’s suggestion that she rush over and say goodbye.  And, of course, back at home, Hanna’s mother, though openly admitting that she was “wrong” about Caleb, never mentions the letter he had written for Hanna.  (Because, like I said, stupidity is contagious on this show!)

Sorry Hanna!  It’s really not your fault that everyone around you, is either dumb or evil!

Meanwhile, somewhere deep in the PLL Lost Boy Vortex, Lucas Gottesman is pumping his fist in triumph . . . Lucas and Hanna . . . it is SO ON . . . again  . . .

Source

(Hey, check out the cardboard cutout of President Obama in the lefthand corner of this GIF!  RANDOM!)

Speaking of dorky, but surprisingly adorable, couples that seem to be in for the long haul . . .

Spencer and Abs Toby Sitting in A Tree H-U-M-P-I-N-G . . .

This is the number of times Spencer and Toby are going to SCREW, after this episode is over . .  and that’s just tonight!

Every teen drama has it’s Romeo and Juliet.  This is a couple who are constantly being kept apart from one another, by their family and friends.  A couple that must battle extraordinary forces to stay together  . . . forces like b*tchy sisters, and creepy pedo brothers-in-law, and funhouses that LOCK, and, EVIL CLOWNS! 

When the episode begins, Spencer’s mom and sister tell Spencer that she can’t PLAY DOCTOR Scrabble with Abs Toby anymore .  . .

Just in case you forgot the rationale behind the nickname . . .

They believe that, by associating herself, with the OTHER known suspect in Ali’s murder, Spencer will only make herself look more guilty to prospective jurors.  Instead, they think she should attend the Founder’s Day Carnival, so that she can “integrate into the community.”  When Spencer runs outside to see Toby, she learns that HE is not supposed to see HER either, because HIS family thinks she framed him for Ali’s murder . . .

The pair silently (because Blind Jenna is nearby) agree to meet at the Founder’s Day Carnival .  (Riiiight, because NO ONE will know you are together, if you hang out at the BIGGEST TOWN EVENT OF THE YEAR!  Apparently, even the two smartest characters on this show are not immune to the Stupidity Epidemic, spreading like wildfire around this town.) 

At the Carnival, Creepy Pedo Ian threatens Spencer for the 85,000th time this Season.  And Spencer catches Creepy Pedo and Melissa in a not-so-little white lie.

As it turns out, Melissa is pretty clueless about the layout of the Hilton Head hotel, where she supposedly aborted her FIRST baby with Creepy Pedo Ian a year ago.  This means it’s possible that Creepy Pedo DID spend a weekend in the hotel with Ali shortly before her death, as the PLL girls initially suspected.  But, then, why would Melissa cover for him?  Verrrrry interesting!

Spencer then gets a text from “Toby” who wants to meet her in the “Fun House,” which, pretty much seems like the least romantic meeting spot ever!  But Spencer goes anyway.  And, let’s just say, she doesn’t have that much “fun” there . . .

If Spencer entered the Funhouse hoping to get felt up . . . she got her wish.

Hey, did you know that, in addition to her other talents, which, include, among other things, having impeccable text message timing, and being able to insert messages inside fortune cookies, “A” is also a Master Graffiti Artist?

The question is:  Who, aside from Ian, Melissa, and Blind Jenna, would want Spencer to “shut up?”  She hasn’t really incriminated anyone else . . . lately . . .

Anyway, Spencer wanders off into a deserted corrior, and ends up trapped in the dark.  In short, it’s every claustrophobic’s nightmare come true!  (Like I always said, “A” CLEARLY hates Spencer and Hanna THE MOST!)

Spencer screams at the top of her lungs, and cries continuously.  But no one seems to hear her.  Then, suddenly, she hears the walls literally crumbling in front of her.  And then she sees THIS . . .

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  It’s CREEPY PEDO IAN with a HOOK FOR A HAND!  HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLP!”

So, Ian is Spencer’s HERO?  HE’S the one who RESCUED her from the Funhouse?  WTF?

Surprisingly, Creepy Pedo assumes the role of the “Good Brother-in-Law” quite well in this scene.  He’s actually fairly convincing, when he’s yelling at the carnival attendees, for allowing his baby-sister-in-law to become trapped in that way.  And yet, I’m still not 100% sure that neither he or Melissa were the ones that trapped Spencer in there, in the first place.  But, for now, I will give the pedophile the benefit of the doubt.  Because I’m kind and generous like that . . . 🙂

After her “brush with death,” Spencer decides that she will no longer live in fear of public opinion.  Life is too short to not play doctor with Abs Toby, dammit!  And, so, when Spencer’s current Flavor of the Month magically appears at the carnival (WAY LATE, MIND YOU!) Spencer, rushes over to him, and begins to “lick his Gelato,” in front of her WHOLE family . . .

Be jealous, Creepy Pedo Ian!  Be VERY JEALOUS!

It’s just you and your hook for a hand, TONIGHT!

Speaking of people Spencer has made out with . . .

I FINALLY FOUND WREN A.K.A. JULIAN MORRIS!  He’s on TWITTER!  And FACEBOOK!  And HAS HIS OWN WEBSITE

Life is GOOD AGAIN!

OK .  .  . back to the show . . .

Paige . . . You’re FIRED!

Silly Paige!  Don’t you know that everybody on this show, except Aria, gets a new love interest, every three episodes?

Emily’s storyline was a tad redundant this week.  Once again, Paige offered to be Emily’s “girlfriend.”  Once again, she contemplated “coming out.”  This time, the plan was for Paige to meet the head of some Gay Pride Association from a neighboring school, at a coffee shop,  so that she could figure out how to come out to her dad.  Paige asked Emily to accompany her to this “outing.”  Emily agreed.  But when she got there, Paige had bailed, leaving Emily and the modelesque “Samara” to flirt shamelessly with one another, and make plans to meet at, where else, the FOUNDER’S DAY CARNIVAL!

When Paige sees “Samara” rubbing up on Emily, under the guise of “helping her try on earrings,” she is obviously SUPER JEALOUS.  But, instead of staking claim to Emily, by doing some rubbing up of her own, Paige lashes out at Samara, and calls out Emily for telling Samara that Paige is gay, despite the fact that it was PAIGE who made the appointment with Samara, in the first place.  Deciding that Paige has awful hair!  is way too much drama to be worth the trouble, Emily grabs the pair of earrings her future girlfriend gave her, and stalks off.

Once at home, Emily gets an apologetic message from Paige.  She then gets another one from “A,”  informing Emily that her “type” is girls who’s secrets she has to keep.  I SMELL A FLASHBACK!

It’s now a year prior.  Once again, Ali is manipulating Emily’s romantic feelings for her, to get the attention she desires.  Ali gives Emily a cheap snowglobe from her vacation, warning her not to tell the other girls about it, because, Emily is supposedly the only one of the four for whom she got a gift.  “Keep it in a safe place,” instructs Ali.  “It’s more valuable than it looks.”

Having not made out with a girl ALL EPISODE, lonely Emily starts fondling Ali’s snow globe.  And lo and behold, it has a FALSE BOTTOM.  Something is inside.  It’s . . . wait for it . . . THE KEY BLIND JENNA WAS SEEKING!

Score!

Emily immediately recognizes the key in question, as one that belongs to a storage locker.  So, she texts all the girls to meet her down there.  Spencer, of course, can’t come, because she’s a little “stuck” at the moment.  But Aria and Hanna do accompany Emily to the storage locker . . .  (Lord knows who’s been paying the fees on it, for the YEAR that Ali’s been dead!)

Personally, I think renting an ENTIRE storage locker, to store ONE Tweety Bird lunchbox is a bit overdramatic.  (Not to mention a HUGE waste of money!)  Nevertheless, the girls retrieve the cute little lunch box, and find within it, yet another flash drive . . . (What’s with PLL girls, and their hiding flashdrives in BIRDS?  First, the ugly owl, now THIS?)

“Ughhh!  She left a turkey sandwich in here too!”

Back at home, the girls insert the flashdrive in one of their laptops.  On it, appears to be HOURS AND HOURS of footage of the girls and Ali from the past year, obviously taken by cameras hidden in their homes, by someone other than Abs Toby . . .

The girls begin to suspect that Ali was killed for having incriminating evidence of this video stalker.  This, of course, begs the question of WHO THE HECK IS HE (OR SHE?)

Based on the Much Music Preview, next week’s Season Finale looks pretty intense.  It promises, among other things, the return of Lucas (and Caleb), a surprise appearance by the mysterious “Jackie Molina,” more annoying antics by Garrett the Police Boy, and LOTS of driving around in the dark.  What more could a PLL fan ask for?  (Well, aside from lots of hot sex, of course?)

See you then, my Pretties!

[www.juliekushner.com]

15 Comments

Filed under Pretty Little Liars

15 responses to “This Used to Be a Funhouse (But Now it’s Filled with Evil Clowns) – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Monsters in the End”

  1. Rene

    Loved it as usual. I wish I could remember all the episode as well as you do but you probably record it or something right. I was so glad that tonight was not the mid season finale. I can’t wait to see what happens next week. Thanks for sharing. My favorite part was when Spencer kissed Toby for some reason I was really glad she did that. I think the poor guy has been through a lot as well.

    • Hi Rene! Thanks so much for commenting so quickly! I actually had just finished my edits on this recap, when I found your comment. What a treat! 🙂

      In terms of remembering things that happened during the episode, it probably sounds really dorky, but I actually take notes on my laptop, during all the shows that I recap. Then, as I write about a particular part of the episode, I delete the note in question, so I have a better idea of what I have left to write about. It’s probably not the most efficient process, but it works for me . . . usually.

      I don’t know WHY I was so sure that THIS WEEK was the season finale episode! Having figured out my mistake about a WEEK LATE, I was kind of embarrassed about referencing “the penultimate episode” of Season 1 of PLL TWICE in a row. But I too am really excited for next week’s episode. It looks super action-packed, perhaps, even more action-packed than this one.

      Toby and Spencer are quickly becoming my favorite SHIP on this show! As a DIE HARD Wren fan, and a MAJOR Lucas / Hanna shipper, it makes me feel almost traitorous saying this. As of right now, these two really seem to be the most well-adjusted, and well-matched couple, in Rosewood. Knowing this show, of course, that is likely to change, possibly, next week even. But, for now, at least, I’m enjoying the Good Ship Spoby, very much! 🙂

  2. I will admit that I am a sucker any male actor who does what I call the “tiny lip tug” at the end of a kiss.

    It all dates back to my insane obsession for Carlos Bernard, whose quiver-inducing way of saying “yeah” and “all right” kept me a rabid 24 fan until the end of season seven (his final episode). (Heh, just realised that Carlos Bernard is one hot Latino like a certain werewolf I am loving right now; I guess we know what one of my types is!)

    In season two, Carlos’ character macks on Reiko Aylesworth’s Michelle Dessler in what can only be described as flaming hot style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcJq3WnOoyE

    Seriously, even if you don’t watch 24, I bet you can appreciate the passion released from all that pent up stress from the shitty day they are going through together. Tony does a little lip tug at the end of a kiss, a signature move he did in every subsequent kiss with Michelle.

    So Toby’s little pull of Spencer’s lip at the end? Love it!

    I know, I am a crazy fangirl who gets fixated on the smallest things. But I’m a details person at work, so I like to think this is a natural extension of that 😉

    Other great lip tuggers (sexier than it sounds!): Tyler in his kiss with Caroline and Ryan is some of his kisses with Marissa.

    I wish that I could remain as invested as I was in the past with Hanna and Lucas, but there has been such a scanty presence of Lucas lately it is hard to keep the shipper flame alive. I can endure departures from characters from TVD and care no matter how long they are gone, but PLL hasn’t quite earned that from me yet. So bring back Lucas!

    • I must say, I am super impressed with your trained eye for lip-locking detail. Whenever I am exposed to a sultry television or movie kiss, my brain literally turns to mush. And, when that happens, I am lucky if I remember my own NAME, let alone the lip move that put me in that state!

      That being said, I bet so much goes into the choreography of on-screen kisses, and love scenes, that we don’t even know about. After all, unless the couple in question has absolutely NO chemistry whatsoever, on-screen kisses are SO much prettier than REAL kisses, involving REAL people. Sure, we’ve all experienced some toe-curling kisses in our lifetimes. But have you ever had the “joy” of watching two REAL / non-famous people making out? Nine times out of ten it’s slobbery, awkward, and not particularly hot . . . at all. And nothing is worse than getting a glimpse of The Flickering Snake Tongue . . .

      In terms of on-screen kisses, I bet the one thing more fun than actually being able to take part in them, would be to DIRECT them. Can you imagine! “Now I want you to lean in very slowly, cupping your hand, ever so gently, on the base of her chin, with one hand, while you push the hair out of her face with the other. Then tilt your head slightly to the left, and kiss . . . but don’t forget that lip pull at the end . . . No, see, you’re not getting it. Why don’t you let me demonstrate on you?” 😉

      Believe it or not, I’ve actually never watched an episode of 24 before. But Carlos Bernard definitely has a “Trevino in 20 years” look about him. Something to look forward to, I guess. 😉

      I can’t wait to get home and watch these “Instructional Kissing Vids!” Thanks so much for suggesting them to me. 😉

  3. Oh, just in case you thought I was exaggerating about Tony’s little catchphrases, check out this hilarious YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV1GiStIXis

    Forget Kiefer. It was all about Carlos for me! 😉

  4. CRAZYLOVE345

    I was suprised at the my instant protective nature for Ezra in this episode. I don’t know what caused it but I felt almost ready to strangle this chick Jackie for breaking Ezra’s little heart (Not that I care about her dumping him; it’s just when I see him upset, I go instant future-girlfriend protective, especially when he opens the door to see the extremely hot officer at his doorway (I’m sorry but Yani Gellman is probably someone I would want to arrest me, because riding alone in a cruiser car would be AWESOME if he was the driver while I was in handcuffs in the back.) I was literally screaming at the TV that Ezra was innocent and for Hottie 15 year old Officer to leave him alone. I will get to Ezra later, because now I want to talk about something rather important and something I will probably never say again. So please keep reading to find out.
    I have never liked Mona. Not at all. The moment I saw her in the Pilot, I knew I would instantly hate her. However, in last night’s episode, I felt rather thankful to have her on the show (GASP). Though I laughed at her outfit (I thought she was supposed to have some “fashion sense” but I guess she borrowed some of Spencer’s previous outfits.) I actually think that she has finally been the right kind of friend for Hanna. Even though Mona is usally a b*tch (mainly to my boy Lucas), she was actually blaming herself for not being a batter friend. And I have been counting down the days until Mona gets pushed off of a cliff like she does in the books, but because I can’t stand the Haleb Ship, I was realtively thankful that she was alive in this episode. Though she stupidly didn’t really ruin the letter AT ALL, I don’t think she thought that Hanna was so heartbroken she’d start eating out of the trash can. So thanks, Mona, for being the reason that Caleb left (Your also the reason a lot of others left, but still, thanks)
    I thought that Lucas would never escape the Missing Boy Vortex, but next week he will finally be back! Yes! I find it strange, that when Hanna was with Caleb those few episodes (seriously! they were friends for one episode, bf/gf the next and then ex’s. Rather rushed, i think!) and Lucas was gone. Now, I think that a few people should stay in that vortex *cough* Noel *cough* Sean *cough*, but the fact Lucas has finally been lifted out (The Spring Finale is following the fact that Hanna may finally have real feelings for him) has got me real excited. Maybe us Luanna fans will finally be satisfied!
    LOL! You are so right about the girls getting new love intrests after every 3 episodes, apart from Aria, who has actually been able to keep the sane “boy”friend (boy is in “” because though Ezra has a lot of boyish charms to him, I can’t help but imply that he is 24 and a man. Just saying!) throughout Season 1. I find it suprising when I say that Spencer has probably finally found the guy that she can actually stay with without having to be her sister’s boyfriend (Love the pic of Julian BTW. He is obviously still adorable!)
    Did you know that the girl who plays Blondie (the girl from the other campus. I am too lazy to go all the way back up to the entry, so Blondie will have to do.) actually plays the mermaid in the movie Aquamarine? Wow, fins really do change a person because I barely even recognized her on two feet! Don’t get me wrong, I love Lindsey Shaw, but this whole “I’m going to come out and then back out” I have to endure every week is becoming a pain in the neck and I personally have to want Emily to go back to Snake-eyed Maya.
    It scared the febjezzies out of me when Ian opened that door with the crow bar. I seriously screamed! Maybe it was his crazy expression on his face or something. Whatever. I just have to wonder why Spencer went into the pole-like thingy in the first place. I think your right when you say that stupidity is big on this show. Then she can’t find her lit up phone? Reality check PLL: Light+Dark places=Seeing things! Got it? Good! My second favorite moment of Monsters in the End was most definately Spencer and Toby’s epic hug and kiss. Definately an AWWW moment.
    I have been waiting for an embarassing hallway scene between Ezra and Aria for a long time and the strange fact is that the Sorry-I slammed-your coffee-into-the-ground scene I HAD ALREADY THOUGHT OFF! I wonder if the PLL story writers kidnapped me and then probed my brain for good ideas. Anyways, it was funny to see it OUTSIDE OF MY HEAD on a television screen.
    Now there are very rare moments when I don’t get upset when Ezra and Aria get into an argument. Like in last night’s episode. I trust Ezra, 100%, and if he says that he doesn’t have feelings for this B*tch Jackie anymore, you’d be darn sure that I believe him. And the way that he seemed to want to actually want to take a picture with Aria and share it with the entire world made me believe him even more. Now as for my thoughts on the whole engagement ring thing: I personally think that PLL is trying to foreshadow that Ezra is going to propose to Aria in next weeks episode. Maybe it’s just my hopes but I seriously think that they started this engagement ring thing for a reason.
    Speaking of paper cuts, I follow Ian Harding on twitter (not literally because Twitter is the stupidest social network on Earth) and he tweeted that he got a paper cut on his tounge. Random, but still!
    I think there are exactly two flashbacks of Alison i actually didn’t feel like killing her myself. I know she is manpulative and mean but the way that she talked to Em in this episode was actually sort of sweet. If only we could see the sweet sight even more often. So then maybe we’d have a reason not to kill her. Just an idea.
    I hope A realizes that only three people can go into Ezra’s apartment- 1)Ezra 2)Aria 3)Me (well in my thoughts I do). And if he/she does not give me the key back, I swear I will track them down and use my limited arts and crafts skills on his/her face.
    Next week is going to be epic and from the sounds of it, one guy i never wanted to see again returns from the Vortex as well: Noel “Bushy” Kahn is back. While their at it, why don’t they bring the whole group back: Detective Wilden, Wren, and Alex. Then it’d really be a party. After what happened with Ezra and the whole blackmail thing, I want to just send Noel to the barbers’ and then out of rosewood forever!

    • I had so much fun reading your comment, CrazyLove! You always have such fun insights into these PLL episodes. Plus, you never fail to make me crack up laughing, at least two or three times, while I’m reading.

      So, yeah, I looked up that Yani Gellman guy on Wikipedia, and he IS hot! I honestly didn’t think so, when I first saw him on the show. So, I was initially kind of surprised to hear everyone saying how gorgeous he was, on the message boards and such. For me, I think it’s the dorky haircut, and unflattering cop uniform they make him wear on this show. Because THIS . . .

      . . . is SEXY!

      (I still plan on calling him Garrett the Police Boy though . . . ;))

      I really am curious about this Jackie Molina chick. Based on the previews, it looks like we are going to get to meet her next week. She just seems like bad news to me.

      If Jackie is posting old pictures of Fitzy on her Facebook page NOW, after all this time, she’s obviously trying to get him back. And that’s just in poor taste, after practically leaving the guy at the altar, after dating him for two years. You snooze, you lose, Jackie! You can’t have your Fitzy, and eat him too!

      Here’s the thing about Mona, I suspect we are SUPPOSED to not like her on the show. So, it’s hard to blame the actress for playing a vapid villain. And yet, sometimes, a show will have a villainous character who is just so awesomely nasty, that you LOVE to hate them.

      I would put Dead Ali in this category, actually. Sasha Pieterse does a great job of showing you why, even though Ali was a TOTAL BIATCH to all the PLL girls, they still wanted to hang with her. Ali is the quintessential “cool and pretty” Mean Girl, someone who’d give Regina George in Mean Girls (another awesome villain, by the way) a run for her money.
      But I find Mona so annoying, that I just plain hate her, instead of LOVING to hate her. And, even when she’s trying to be nice, I just don’t buy it.

      Like tonight, when Mona ripped up Caleb’s letter. I have trouble believing that she really did it, because she thought it would help Hanna. I kind of feel like she did it so Hanna would stay single with her. I’m not sure, if I felt this way, because the writers WANTED me to feel that way, or because Janel Parrish interprets the role in a disingenuous way. Of course, if Mona ends up being “A,” we will know the former is true . . .

      Yay, for the return of Lucas! I’ll admit I let out a little squeal when I saw him prominently featured in next week’s promos. I genuinely hope we get to explore more of his relationship with Hanna. (I also genuinely hope Lucas is not “A,” because that would sink our ship ROYALLY!)

      So, I looked it up, and the actress who played Emily’s Blonde Love interest, is Claire Holt. And you are right. She did play a mermaid, in that TV show H20: Just add water. She actually looked a lot like another actress I remember seeing on some Canadian show, I used to watch on TeenNick, but now I can’t recall who that actress is. Go figure!

      I kind of liked her (Samara / Blondie, I mean)! She’s definitely less wishy washy (not to mention, has WAY better hair) than Paige. She also seems a tad more spunky than Maya. I kind of hope “Samara” sticks around a bit longer, particularly if Maya has entered the “Vortex” for an extended period of time . . .

      Sigh . . . Julian Morris looks AMAZING in that photograph, doesn’t he? I was so happy to find it! No wonder he put it at the forefront of his website! If I looked like that (well . . . a GIRL version of that), I’d plaster my entire bedroom wall with pictures of myself! 🙂

      One PLL episode down, one to go . . . I’ll keep my fingers crossed for an Ezria proposal for you (and your future boyfriend). 😉

  5. imaginarymen

    What kind of teen girls are these that they aren’t on Facebook 24/7?!??

    And this show sure has “Boy Vortex” where male characters get sucked into, never to be seen again. Will they finally be revealing who killed Ali next week?

    • LOL. I think Aria’s been too busy boning Fitzy, and being stalked by “A” for 22 episodes, to even update her FB status! In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it still said, “First day of school! Sad summer is over! :(“

  6. FuZzY.WuZzY

    Lol 🙂 Pardon the name i thought it was funny! Anyways great recap!!!

    So speaking of aria and ezra in the paper bags….i seriously was waiting for aria to do something crazyy and like poke a hole in the bag and juss suprise ezra or something, me and my crazy-hoe imagination! @CRAZYLOVE345 i am so sorry but i definately disagree with you on Ezra being 100% honest…it jus sounded like bullpoopy! Idk something else is wrong with his explanation. which my theory is that Ezra is personally inviting Jackie for some afternoon delight (i watch glee as well) while Aria is busy…jus a theory!

    For the first time i was not mad at Mona, even though she is annoying and is on my list of being A, since it was in the books. I do think Mona wanted Hanna for herself, and wanted her to be single so her and Mona could focus on being popular again together. I DO BLAME CALEB for being soooo stupid in giving his letter to Mona and not Hanna herself, or idk her actual friends. Stoopidity seriously spreads like wildfire truly!

    Also for Hanna she made me a little mad. I mean we are talking about Caleb the Sexii Wolf! Why would you let him board that bus without a dramatic kiss goodbye or something! the nerve of some people :/ Ohh and I do feel awful for Hanna too. i mean she gave him her v-card, but Caleb didn want her card…he wanted a key….so her emotions were understandable BUT its Caleb!!!!!

    Okayy Emily…is a HUGEE whore, not as much as Caleb, but enough to have been in a relationship with 1)BEN 2)*partially* TOBY 3)MAYA 4)*she flirted with him for like 3 seconds…ep. 14?* CALEB 5)PAIGE 6) and now SAMARA! Thats like 6 ppl!!! She seriously has beaten the record of people to go out with…but i am still like lost is Maya and Her over?!?!?! SOoo im kinda still confused. But to be honest im kinda excited bout Samara coming to the cast cuz it reminds me of the book when Trista a blonde chic who looks like Allison (possibly Samara?) starts messin with Emily when all of a sudden Maya comes around and gets hugely jealous or etc. Idk im a huge fan of the books….so im uber-excited!

    Yani!!! I am soo excited that he is back in television 🙂 i sooo had a crush on him on the Lizzie McGuire movie…i think his name was Powlo or somethin in italian. But he is really cute in uniform. I too had a fantasy of him handcuffing me…except the cuffs were FuZzY. WuZzY 🙂 yayy i incorporated my name heehee.

    Anyways best for Last SPENCER AND TOBY!!! I first off want to say that i loved Toby since day one, when everyone thought he was a freak…to be honest i like my men freaky 😉 but that kiss was adorableee! Love these two together i think there gonna be the new aria and ezra :)) I also think that Ian is not the killer i just think he had sex with Allison and doesn wanna be charged with rape or somethin so he tries to avoid the situation. Anyways Spoby Fan FTW!!!!!

    THANKS FOR THE BLOGS!!!

    • Hi there, Fuzzy Wuzzy! (Awesome name, by the way!) Thanks so much for your comment. It rocked. I have so much fun talking about this show with you guys! PLL fans kick butt! 🙂

      And I TOTALLY remember Yani from the Lizzie McGuire movie, now that you mention it! He looks really different now. I’m telling you . . . it’s the haircut.

      I’m kind of psyched about that little spoiler you gave about Emily hooking up with the blonde, and Maya returning / getting jealous. I’m just getting a bit bored with Paige’s melodrama. And I feel like a Samara / Emily / Maya triangle would be WAY more exciting then a Paige / Emily / Maya triangle. I’m OK with Paige being endgame. Just let her get her act together first, you know?

      So, your comment about Emily getting around, got me thinking about all of the PLL’s, and how many love interests they’ve had since the show started. If I forgot anyone, let me know . . .

      Aria – Fitzy, Bushy Eyebrows Noel (2)
      Emily – Wife Beater Ben, Abs Toby, Maya, Paige, Samara (5)
      Hanna – Dull as Dishwater Sean, Lucas, Man Whore Caleb (3)
      Spencer – Creepy Pedo Ian, Wren the Wonderful, Alex, Abs Toby (4)

      So, I guess you are right. Emily is the PLL girl who gets the most play. But Spencer is pretty close behind her. 🙂 Then again, who knows? Perhaps, we will eventually find out that either Blind Jenna has been banging all these people secretly. Then SHE would win the Slutty Award! 🙂

      With this show, ANYTHING could happen! 🙂

  7. FuZzY.WuZzY

    Ohh FYI !!!! I heard from a valuable report that in the finale, Jenna is AND was sexing up someone on the side and it AINT TOBYY!!! Who knew? Blind Girls can get kinky too…lol i heard its how they use their cane as well!

    Toodles and keep on postin!

    • Ooh, thanks for the juicy scoop! As long as Jenna wasn’t “stick”-ing it to Lucas or Wren, I’m cool with it. Well, actually . . . I’d rather she not be doing Fitzy either . . . or Caleb.

      Hmmm . . . Now that I think about it, I’d only be cool with her cane-ing Ian. 😉

      Sure, it would be gross. But at least, none of our PLL girls would be hurt by it. (Melissa would be hurt, of course. But she kind of sucks anyway, right? ;))

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