Bye, Bye Birdie! Hello Nationals! – A Recap of Glee’s “Original Songs”

KURT:  “Here lies My Virginity, which you will be taking from me, about twenty minutes after the final credits roll on this episode.”

BLAINE: “That’s your Virginity?  I didn’t expect it to look so .  . . small.”

KURT:  “If you don’t like it, I’d be more than happy to give it to Karofsky.”

BLAINE:  “No . . . NO!  It’s beautiful!  I’ll take it!”

Talk about a JAM-PACKED Glee episode!  This week’s installment featured, no less than TWELVE SONGS (I’m still not sure how they managed to squeeze a plot in there!), a Regionals Competition, a funeral, a Sue Sylvester knockout, and possibly one of the most eagerly anticipated makeout sessions this show has EVER SEEN!

So much drama . . . so much music . . . so much trouty mouth, and big ass . . . heart!  We better get started now, or we will be here ALL NIGHT!

(Note:  All the YouTube Videos with the words “pixtiny.com” on the bottom, are not fully embedded.  So, just click on the internal links to view them.  The rest of the videos I included should play directly from this site.)

Kurt . . . is . . . in MIS-ERY!  (And there’s only one person who could comfort him.)

“That’s MEEEEEEEE!”

The episode begins at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Dalton Academy, where the Warblers are, once again, bopping around their choir room awkwardly, like this . . .

(Seriously, these guys REALLY need to rethink their choreography!)

 . . . while their fearless leader, Harry Potter Blaine No-Last-Name-Yet, leads them in a rousing rendition of Maroon 5’s Misery, a song who’s original version has been in high rotation on my iPod FOREVER since it was released last summer.  Misery is pretty much your basic run-of-the-mill Warbler fare.  It doesn’t look or sound too different from When I Get You Alone or Bills, Bills, Bills or any other ditty we’ve heard come out of Blaine’s luscious lips, this season (more on THOSE later).  But since I absolutely adore this song, they get a Free Pass on that from me . . . 

Now, while I may have given the Warblers a Free Pass on Misery, Kurt most certainly did not.  I actually gave a little standing ovation from my couch, when Young Hummel finally called out the love of his life for being the Rachel Berry of Dalton Academy.  “Your solos are breathtaking . . . they are also .  . . numerous.  Sometimes I feel less like I’m part of the Warblers, and more like a backup singer for Blaine and the Pips,” Kurt snarks.

“Oh, NO you didn’t!”

Oh, yes, Mr. Schue!  HE WENT THERE!  And, can I just say, it’s ABOUT DAMN TIME!  Blaine looked a bit shocked at being called out in this way.  But, to his credit, he neither denied what Kurt said, nor issued any sort of rebuttal.  In fact, he actually seemed fairly impressed that SOMEONE in his group would have the guts to say this to him . .  .

Source

DADDY LIKE!

But, alas, all is not well in Hogwarts Dalton Land!  Voldemort has arrived!  The Warbler’s prized little mascot, Pavarotti, seems to have flapped his little yellow wings for the very last time . . .

“WTF Glee!  You can’t kill me off, NOW!  I was just two tweets away from getting my SAG card!  Now I have to wait for them to make Angry Birds into a movie . . .

I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I did actually shed a tear or two for Pavarotti.  This, when you think about it, is kind of ridiculous, considering the bird in question only actually appeared on-screen twice throughout the entire season.  The rest of the time, he was nothing more than a yellow cotton ball in a Burberry-covered cage . . .  And yet,  Kurt has carried around that cage for half a season now!   In fact, I’m pretty sure if there was a “Warbler Kurt” Doll, it would come with Pavarotti, as an accessory.  So, when that little yellow cotton ball died, a part of Kurt died right along with it . . .

“I wish the Will Doll came with an accessory!”

Stricken with grief over the unexpected loss of Pavarotti, Kurt interrupts a Warbler song meeting, and requests that he be allowed to sing a song in the dead bird’s honor.  The song he chooses is the Beatles’ “Blackbird.”  Admittedly, this is a strange choice of song for two reasons: (1) Pavarotti was obviously not “black,” he was “yellow;” and (2) when it was originally written, the song “Blackbird” was meant to serve as a metaphor for the Civil Rights Movement, as opposed to being taken  . . . um .  . . literally.  And yet, considering the alternatives, I think this was the best song choice Kurt could have made.  Because if he had, instead, started belting out “Bye Bye Birdie” a la Sal Romano from Mad Men, THAT would have been super inappropriate . .  .

And yet . . . at the same time . . . REALLY FUNNY!

Did I mention that Kurt showed up to sing his tweet-alicious solo, dressed like a cross between Elvis, Johnny Cash, and Christian Siriano from Project Runway?

Fierce!”

Of course, the song was beautiful!  As we learned from his rendition of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” a few months back, Chris Colfer interprets Beatles songs like no other.  But, for me, the most amazing thing about this number, was the way Blaine responded to it. 

 Most of us wait our entire lives to have someone look at us, with the kind of love and admiration that was on display here.  I must admit, watching Blaine come to the realization that he was now, and had always been, totally and completely in love with Kurt, was enough to melt my snarky, cynical, and almost criminally unromantic heart . . .

Prepare to be awwwwwwwwww-ed!

Shortly thereafter, the Warblers’ hold their meeting regarding which two songs Blaine they will perform at Regionals.  At the meeting, Kurt shocks everyone, by suggesting that, instead of Blaine singing both songs all by himself (while the rest of the group does the Pee-Pee Dance behind him and hums) why not include  . . .  a duet?

Blaine then pipes in and suggests that he sing the duet with . . . Kurt.

The Warblers’ put it to a vote.  And, since none of these Cute Musical Robots have been programmed to do anything aside from hum, do the pee-pee dance, and agree with everything Blaine says, they almost unanimously vote to let Blaine and Kurt du-et with eachother. .  .  (Get it?  Du-et?   Sounds like do  . . . nevermind.)

BLAINE: “If Pavarotti the Animatronic Bird has had more speaking lines than you, this season, please raise your hand.”

While “practicing” for his duet with Blaine, Kurt gets up the courage to ask his soon-to-be-Boy-Toy, why he chose to sing the duet with him, rather than one of the older Warblers.  Blaine then sits down next to Kurt, and looks intently at him, with those big brown teddy bear orbs of his.  “There is a moment,” he begins, when you look at someone, and think, ‘Oh, there you are!  I’ve been looking for you forever.’  Yesterday, when you sang Blackbird, that was a moment for me . . . about you.”

This is the second time, in a single hour, that Blaine managed to give me chills.  The way that Blaine then bent over to kiss Kurt . . .  the way Kurt gently, and then more aggressively, grabbed Blaine’s face with his right hand . . . the way the pair looked at one another in complete awe and wonderment, after it was over, before going back  in for seconds . . . it was all . . .  MAGICAL.  There is just no other way to describe it . . .

WATCH!  I dare you not to be moved . . .

BURT:  “I bet you are glad I gave you that sex talk NOW, aren’t you, son?  Now, give me back my PAMPHLETS!”

Meanwhile, back at McKinley High . . .

Rachel is the Only Berry on Her Family Tree (and Quinn is just a B*tch).

Rachel is still trying to write an original song about something that doesn’t involve head gear.  Her second performance for Finn, is entitled “Only Child.”  In it, Rachel decries the horror, of never being able to sleep in bunk beds, and being the “only Berry on her family tree.” 

Yes, it was a LAME song.  (I, for one, prefer “My Headband.”)  And yet, as an only child, myself . . . I must say, I can relate!  (I always REALLY wanted a bunk bed . .  . before I learned how hard they are to climb to the top of, while inebriated.  Thanks, College!)

While Finn is not-so-subtly telling Rachel, that this is “Strike Two” on the Original Song attempts, Quinn is watching from a distance, plotting a Massive Rachel Take Down of Mean Girls Proportions.  After all, Quinn NEEDS TO BE PROM QUEEN!  And she NEEDS FINN IN ORDER TO DO IT . . . 

(Ughhh!  Can someone please knock this ho-bag up, again?  I’m tired of Evil Quinn, or, as Finn calls her, “Scary Quinn.”  I want Insecure Baby Bump Quinn BACK!)

“My Precious!”

Careful, Quinn!  This guy wanted to be Prom Queen too.   And look what happened to HIM!

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”  That’s the motto Quinn decides to live by, when she supports Rachel’s renewed request that New Directions perform original songs at Regionals.  Quinn even offers to help Rachel come up with a new song!

Except, when the two do finally start to write, and Rachel asks Quinn whether she and Finn are back together, Quinn shows her true colors, by telling Rachel that she is not meant to be with Finn.  Apparently, Quinn has given this A LOT of thought, because she then launches into this whole future scenario for Quinn and Finn.  She becomes a real estate agent in Lima.  Finn takes over Burt Hummel’s car repair business.  And the pair live in town, raising lots of not particularly intelligent Fuinn babies.  

Hey, remember when Quinn dumped Puck, because she thought he was nothing more than a “Lima Loser,” and SHE wanted to leave town with Finn, so she could move on to Bigger and Better Things?  NO?  That’s OK.  Apparently . . . neither does Quinn!

“Like most of the characters on this show, I have a rare disease, which prevents me from having any short term memory whatsoever, beyond the current episode.  Remember Drew Barrymore’s character in 50 First Dates?  I’m kind of like her.”

Upon hearing that she doesn’t fit in with the Finn, and the rest of the Lima Losers, Rachel runs out of the room crying, when she should really be jumping for joy . . .

“YAY for ME and my eventual meteoric rise to fame (and subsequent stint in rehab, at age 21)!”

Inspired by her sadness, Rachel rushes home to write a song for Regionals . . .

Meanwhile, back in the Choir Room .  . .

Trouty Mouth?  Big Ass Heart?   HELL-TO THE NO!

“Back up off me or I’ll EAT YOUR FACE OFF with my Supposedly Mondo Mouth which really isn’t that big, at all!”

Rachel isn’t the only Glee kid attempting to write an original song.  Santana writes one herself, in an attempt to prove to Brittany that, after the latter rejected her for Artie, she is now “safely” back in the closet. 

Source

Except, the song that Santana chooses, while tauting itself as a “love song” to her “boyfriend,” actually has the unintended effect of proving just how attracted to boys Santana ISN’T.  The song is called “Trouty Mouth.” And its lyrics, more or less, compare poor Sam’s lips to every kind of fish and slimy amphibian featured in a high school science book . . .

“Now, THAT’S offensive!”

For his original song, Puck serenades his lover girl Lauren with yet ANOTHER fat song. 

“You’re DEAD, PUCKERMAN!”

Except, this time, he’s talking about Lauren’s heart . . . her Big ASS Heart.  Admittedly, it’s a sweet song.  The lyrics are REALLY clever.  And Puck’s sultry singing voice, never fails to cause my panties to drop on the floor, every time I hear it.  The only problem is that Lauren Zizes, DOESN’T have a Big Ass Heart . . . at least not from what we’ve seen, which makes this . . . just another thinly-veiled song about her large girth, after all. 

But, hey!  It’s Puck!  And he’s hot!  So, we forgive him!

“I get away with EVERYTHING!”

Then, Mercedes sings “Hell-To the NO!” 

And it’s EXACTLY the kind of awesome song you would except this character to write and sing.  No further explanation is required, really!

Brittany didn’t write an orignal song.  But she informed us that her favorite song of all time is “My Headband” by diva songstress Rachel Berry.  (Woah!  Who’d have thought that Brittany, of all people, would be the character on the show with best memory for stuff that’s happened in past episodes.)

Finally, Will helps the Glee kids brainstorm a song idea based on their collective hatred for Sue Sylvester.

It’s entitled “Loser Like Me.”

It’s Regionals TIME!

The day has come for the New Directions, The Warblers, and Aural Intensity to perform at Regionals.  They will be judged by Kathy Griffin, whose playing some sort of weird amalgamation of Sarah Palin, Christine O’Donnell, and Michelle Bachmann.  You’ve gotta love how Fox (a.k.a. Republican TV), by nature of Glee being one of its most successful shows, was forced to make fun of nearly all of it’s female mascots in a single hour of television!  It’s just too bad Kathy G. wasn’t particularly funny in this role  . . .

“Oops!”

Also judging the competition is Loretta Devine, who appears to be playing some sort of take off on Whoopie Goldberg’s character from those old Sister Act movies.  A cute idea .  . . but . . . also not really funny.

Taking into consideration the seemingly “ultra-conservative” bent of the judges, Aural Intensity, led by none other than Sue Sylvester, perform the song, “Jesus is my Friend,” while holding hands, and morphing into the formation of various religious symbols.

Umm .  . . yeah.  I don’t have much to say about that.

We didn’t get to hear Aural Intensity’s second number, but I strongly suspect it was something off the Sister Act soundtrack . . .

Next up, are the Warblers.  Kurt and Blaine perform a very sweet, and romantically charged, if not particularly energetic, rendition of Hey Monday’s “Candles.”

And then, because, apparently, the world would EXPLODE if the Warblers entered into a competition, wherein Blaine did not get AT LEAST one entire song to himself, Blaine sings Pink’s “Raise Your Glass,” another song in high rotation on my iPod.  (Hey Blaine!  Call me!  We can swap mix tapes!) 

As usual, Darren Criss does a nice job with this song.  And yet, I kind of wish New Directions had sung it instead.  The thing is . . . for me . . . the Warblers . . . with their Pee Pee Dances, and their Hogwarts Jackets . . .  just seem a bit too straight-edge to properly convey the angsty “I Don’t Give a F*&k!” attitude of this Anthem to Outsiders.  But don’t take my word for it . . .

New Directions are up last.  For the first number, Rachel sings the song that Quinn’s evilness, and her unabiding and inexplicable love for Finn have presumably inspired within her, “Get it Right.”

As she sings, Finn watches from backstage, and gives Rachel EXACTLY the same “I can’t live without you” look that Blaine gave Kurt earlier in the episode . . .

Don’t worry, Quinn.  Knowing Finn (and Glee), Douche-Boy will be BACK in love with YOU again in two episodes, tops . . . (Man this love triangle is getting annoying!)

I have to laugh when, about HALF WAY through this number, Kurt turns to Blaine and whispers, “Wow, they are doing Original Songs.”  (Seriously?  It took you THAT LONG to figure this out, Kurt?  Sex with Blaine must be killing your BRAIN!)

“Where am I?  Is this Sectionals?  Why aren’t I on stage?  I’m part of New Directions too!  Aren’t I?”

The Glee kids’ second song is the Sue Sylvester-inspired “Loser Like Me,” which could more or less, be Glee‘s theme song . . . if the show actually had one.   The number even features confetti-filled slushees, and lots of folks making the “L” sign on their foreheads . . .

Back in the audience, Kurt (who, just five minutes ago, DIDN”T EVEN KNOW  thathis friends were performing “Original Songs”) magically has the foresight to pass out props that are completely appropriate for this particular musical number.  Go figure!

“Hey Blaine, I plan to use this on you after the competition.  Pretty kinky, right?”

After virtually no deliberation, and no explanation whatsoever as to which teams come in second and third . .  .  SURPRISE . . . New Directions wins Regionals!!!!

So, Sue punches out the Governor’s Wife on stage, because . . . oh, who the heck knows!

The episode ends with the New Directions hugging an ecstatic and tearful Rachel for her remarkable dual performance, while Kurt and Blaine bury Pavarotti, clasp hands, and walk off together into the sunset to have hours and hours of hot monkey sex in Kurt’s bedroom . . .

Source

And that’s what you missed, on Glee . . .

Next stop, NATIONALS!  See you then, Gleeks!

[www.juliekushner.com]

23 Comments

Filed under Glee

23 responses to “Bye, Bye Birdie! Hello Nationals! – A Recap of Glee’s “Original Songs”

  1. I giving a standing ovation to this recap all the way from Oz. Kinda appropriate given it’s about Glee, no? 😉

    So much hilarity and poignancy. Where to begin?

    The opening Kurt/Blaine exchange makes me wish that you were on the Glee writers team. You just know that Kurt’s Virginity is as tiny as the little pink purses Mercedes saw him pluck from his mouth during her hallucination. I adore that his Virginity deserved a capital V, kinda like the way Seth Cohen had sex with A Girl when he lost it to Summer, and the caps were totally implied by the triumph in his voice.

    Blaine gave Kurt the same look I’ve seen Damon give Elena, Tyler give Caroline, and Logan give Veronica. It all comes down to the actor. It made me feel all butterflies inside. After everything Kurt has gone through on the show, I’m glad he got a Perfect High School Moment, and I hope that there are many more to come from him. More than anyone else on the show, he’s the little Gleester that could, IMO, and I feel the most invested in whether he is happy or sad.

    I loved your ingenious coining of Daddy Like from your Mommy Like TM, which never fails to bring a hugely silly smile to my lips. BTW, that has become a part of my everyday lexicon with my friends who read these recaps, sometimes leaving those in our presence EXTREMELY bewildered 😉

    You know, Crying Shue has almost achieved the same mythic level as Crying Dawson for me. I know it’s mean, but I cackle whenever CS rears its ugly head.

    The LOTR reference about Evil Quinn was quite simply, plain, straight up, awesomesauce. I miss the Quinn who had a sweet friendship with Mercedes, and zero interest in a Finn/Rachel/Quinn love triangle. Rachel works must better as a character sans Finn, so I wish they’d stop trying to make them work. They’re kinda like fetch that way ;). I’m sure Mean Girl Quinn would agree.

    • Thanks so much for your VERY generous kind words, and sweet accolades, Cherie! You’ve absolutely brightened what was starting out to be a rather annoying day. So, it was definitely appreciated. 🙂

      Sigh, that LOOK! As the inimitable Pacey once said, it’s the kind of thing that “gives you butterflies.” And I agree that only CERTAIN actors can pull it off, in such a way, that your heart melts just watching them stare. Ian, Michael, Joshua, Jason and Darren fall into that elite minority.

      LOL. You know what? I bet Kurt’s Virginity (if one were to snap a picture of it somehow) actually DOES resemble a small pink purse :), one that’s covered in little red hearts and sequins. Hmmm . . . I wonder what Blaine’s virginity looks like? I bet it’s really hot! 😉

      You are right, about Kurt being a character to really root for, on this show. Sure, Kurt hasn’t always been Glee’s most likeable character, but he’s definitely the most consistently, and best-written, one. Plus, there’s a certain innocent and fragile quality about Kurt, that just makes you want to protect him from all evil . . . and then pull him in for a giant hug after you’ve done so. I’m sure Blaine would agree with me, in this regard.

      Whereas Kurt is the MOST consistently written character on the show, Quinn is probably one of the LEAST. (Actually, she and Finn seem to compete weekly for this dubious honor.) There still exists the Quinn that taught Mercedes to be proud of her body; the one that protected Brittany from certain death in Sue’s ridiculous cannonball stunt. And it was THAT Quinn, who broke my heart, when her AWFUL parents rejected her, precisely when she needed them most, at the peak of her pregnancy. Personally, I think THAT Quinn is still in there somewhere. I just haven’t seen her around in a while. Perhaps, she is hiding out with NON-Douchebag Finn?

      I’m with you on the Rachel / Finn / Quinn love triangle. It has been going on for SO long, and has brought out such awful sides to all three of these characters, that I am starting to lose interest in it. I actually sort of agree with Quinn, that Rachel is destined for better things, and would do best to not get involved in petty high school dramas, while she’s getting a jump start on her music career.

      Unlike Finn and Quinn, Rachel is a fairly consistently written character on Glee (ridiculously evil sabotage of Sunshine Corazon in the Season 2 notwithstanding). And yet, I do think she is about 10 times more likeable and relatable when she’s single, than when she’s dating or pursuing Finn. On the other hand, Rachel was fairly likeable when she was dating Bipolar Jesse. So, maybe it’s not the “dating” that’s the problem, but, rather WHO she’s dating. Sorry Finn!

      You know, one of these days, I absolutely plan to do an “Ugly Cry Face” post, wherein I compare the many facets of an unattractive onscreen meltdown. It’s definitely something to think about. 🙂

      I actually made a t-shirt on Café Press that says, “Mommy Like.” Maybe I should make a matching “Daddy Like” shirt as well! Who says fangirling (and fanboying) has to be a sport reserved for singles? Couples can “do it” too!

  2. Linn

    Can I just say that i want old Puck back!!! Hot, selfish, womanizing sex-beast Puck, not this weird, quiet, wimpy creature, hanging on to every word the Zizes says. If this new Puck was down to him falling hopelessly in love with someone (Quinn) being a changed man due to the powers of romance, then maybe I would buy it. But he seems more like he’s hypnotized, bewitched, or, dare I say it, compelled (cross-over episode anyone? We all know the Salvatores can dance at least). Also, he’s been wearing far too much clothes these last weeks.

    And allthough I’m totally for giving Brittany more screentime, and more drama, I really miss her awesome one-liners (of which “stop the violence” is my all time favourite). Can’t she have her own plot AND one-liners?

    I agree that nice Quinn in better than evil Quinn. My suggestion would be to make her nice again, AND bring on a new super evil female character who can mess up the indeed boring love triangle. (Pluss more drunk Blaine. He was fun).

    Fab job on the recaps, I hope the Glee-writer read them too for your great ideas 🙂
    Linn

    • Hey Linn! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! Also, thank you for having the guts to say everything I’ve wanted to say about the Puck and Lauren Zizes coupling, but couldn’t, out of fear of being mercilessly abused, by diehard “Luck” fans.

      Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I have anything against . . . “pleasantly plump” folk. It’s just that this pairing seems like nothing more than a way for the writers to get cheap laughs. And Glee fans deserve better than that. So does Mark Salling, for that matter.

      I would be cool with the “Luck” pairing, if it stemmed from a genuine connection between these characters — one that was gradually developed over time. Unfortunately, we haven’t seen that at all. Puck just “woke up” in love one day. (You’re right! Compulsion is the only possible explanation for this! I blame Damon Salvatore! :))

      The only rationale we get for Puck’s feelings for Lauren is that he’s suddenly a “Chubby Chaser,” and Lauren is “confident,” and, supposedly, a “good kisser.” As you mentioned, the result of this lackluster pairing does seem to be that Puck has been deprived of the fun and edgy qualities we have all grown to love about him over the course of two seasons.

      Now, I’m ALL FOR Puck getting more screen time. And, on this show, the way to log more on-screen minutes, does appear to be by becoming part of a couple. But if the writers want to remain true to Puck, while examining him through the lens of unique, interesting, and relatively complex (at least, by Glee standards) relationship, why not put him back with Rachel?

      I mean, think about it. This would kill two birds with one stone. We’d get to put an axe through this tired Rachel / Finn / Quinn triangle, AND we’d get to see more hot shirtless Puck. Everybody WINS! Plus, Lea Michele and Mark Salling have SPECTACULAR chemistry together. These two sizzle onscreen, with their characters’ opposite, yet oddly complimentary, personas. On the other hand, Puck and Lauren . . . well . . . like I said . . . I’m not going there. 😉

      See? Now, if us FANS were writing for Glee, they wouldn’t be having these types of PROBLEMS! 🙂

      P.S. I miss the Brittany one liners too! I think my favorite was when she said that dolphins were just gay sharks!

      • Linn

        Haha, I had forgotten about the gay sharks! Also one of my favourites.

        I completely agree with you, it has nothing to do with Lauren’s appearance, I just don’t buy the romance. You have to lead in to these things, like with Kurt and Blaine, or Will and Emma. And I feel sorry for Lauren. Like you mention, it seems like the only function she’s supposed to have, is to be the butt of jokes about her looks, and Glee should be better than that.

        So you say Puck and Rachel, huh… Yeah, that might work, especially if it made her less annoying 😉 It could actually be romantic and sweet if they really fell for each other. Neither her or Quinn ever really strike me as actually having genuine feelings for poor Finn. It’s like the fight over him is what is most important. (personally, I think he’s a cutie, and that drummer gif is adorable!! If I was in Glee I would go out with Finn, and sex it up with Puck on the side 😉

        I also think the Glee writers should ease up on the songs. 3-4 songs per episode is enough, give us more of that addictive high school drama!

        As a European, I had never heard of Glee clubs before. Is it like every high school has one?

        Linn

      • You are right. I think Rachel and Quinn are more in love with the “challenge” of “winning” Finn, and what he represents to them (for Quinn – popularity and Queen Bee Status; for Rachel – a protector, when necessary, and a sidekick / song partner the rest of the time), than they are with Finn the man.

        Hmmm . . . I’m a Puck girl, all the way! But I also think Blaine is GORGEOUS. So, if I was on Glee, I would probably date Puck. But then, after Puck and I broke up (because he cheated on me . . . probably with Quinn, or with YOU;), or he got sent back to juvie), I would start spending all my free time at Dalton Academy, trying to get Blaine drunk, so he’d kiss me, like he did with Rachel . . . Oh, and I’d also try to touch Mike Chang’s abs! 🙂

        As for Glee clubs, my high school didn’t have one. We had a choir, but that was about it. I guess it really depends on the school. And yet, I suspect, given Glee’s popularity, that A LOT more schools will start having Glee clubs in the near future . . .

      • Linn

        Mmmmm, Blaine is indeed jummy. But I would feel bad for causing you to break up with Puck (HE said you were on a break…), so I would not try to flirt with Blaine, even though his renditions of both “Silly Lovesongs” and “When I get you alone” leave me weak at the knees. I’m not a total mean girl 😉

      • Awwww, I don’t blame you at all for sleeping with Puck behind my back. I have no doubt that he lied to you about us being on a break. Boy DOES get around. Plus, he’s just too hard to resist . . .

        And, just to prove there were no hard feelings, if we were all playing Spin the Bottle, I’d totally let you make out with Drunk Blaine too. We can’t get him to change teams. But we CAN take advantage of his temporarily impaired judgment. 😉

      • Linn

        Awwww, sharing IS caring 😉 I’ll bring the wine coolers!

  3. Ali

    Hey there!

    Love the recap and everything in the comments….

    I have a question tho… Where is Vocal Adrenaline? Aren`t they supposed to be at regionals as well?? Last season we saw vocal adrenaline, aural intensity and new directions at regionals.. and now they are suddenly gone… I now that tehere were too many songs to fit a plot here but…. I think it was worth the shot to find a spac for this matter…

    Anyway…. Blurt ship…. Wow. I`m a straight guy who happens to enjoy glee.. And even for me these scenes were excellent.

    The Rachel/Finn/Quinn situation: you are completely right… Enough already Glee writers! These actors need some consistance (Loved how you compared with 50 first dates LOL).

    Haha and fo me the BEST part of this recap was Shue´s gif crying because He wishes his doll came with an accesory LMAO

    • Hey Ali! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!

      You bring up a really good question, regarding Vocal Adrenaline. You’re absolutely right. They were definitely at Regionals, competing against New Directions, last season.

      I vaguely recall Mr. Schue making some comment early on in the season about Glee “redistricting.” This resulted in New Directions competing against DIFFERENT teams, in both the Sectionals and Regionals competitions, than they did during Season 1. Basically, I think the reason behind this so-called “redistricting” is so the New Directions can go up against Sunshine Corazone and Vocal Adrenaline in the National Glee Competition in NYC for the Season Finale. I mean, sure, the Warblers were good, but VA has always been New Direction’s true competition . . .

      I’m just wondering whether Evil Jesse will be back. I’d heard that the character would be returning. Except, hasn’t he already graduated, by now? (Maybe they held him back, just so he could compete in Nationals against Rachel!) 🙂

  4. Ali

    And Blaine`s last name is Anderson…. I read it somewhere 😉

    • Good sleuthing! 🙂 Yep, you are right! The Glee wiki DOES list Blaine’s last name as Anderson . . .

      http://glee.wikia.com/wiki/Blaine_Anderson

      I just don’t remember it ever being mentioned on the show. It wouldn’t be the first time, the writers forgot to mention a character’s last name. After all, it took us a WHOLE SEASON to learn that Brittany’s last name is “Pearce” (or is it “Pierce?”).

    • LOL. Thanks for the article link, Amy!

      I remember being really shocked, a few months back, at how unabashedly sour grapes Ryan Murphy was about Slash and Kings of Leon declining the opportunity to have their songs covered on Glee. Murphy’s outspoken, and outright nasty response, to Kings of Leon, in particular, didn’t sit well with me. After all, Kings of Leon, who were not familiar with the show at the time, simply and politely stated that this just wasn’t the right opportunity for them. The young band certainly didn’t deserve to incur the wrath of Ryan Murphy, as a result of their decision. Nor did they deserve the bad press they initially garnered, as a result of this exchange.

      Murphy’s tendency to take every rejection of Glee as a personal affront, is extremely immature behavior — behavior that’s VERY unbecoming of an ADULT producer of a very successful television show. I mean, it’s not as though Glee is at a LOSS for artists who are interested in their songs being covered by the show. Why bother with all the public vitriol? It just seems kind of foolish to me.

      So, even though I’m a fan of the show, AND, generally a fan of Ryan Murphy, as it’s writer / producer, I applaud Dave Grohl for having the courage to speak out on behalf of his fellow musicians. An artist is entitled to make a choice as to where his or her music is featured and covered. And artists shouldn’t be chastized for exercising some modicum of control over the way their music is distributed.

      • imaginarymen

        Well said Julie. I find it hypocritical that Murphy runs a show that is always preaching acceptance and inclusiveness and railing against bullies – yet in RL he is an absolute bully when he doesn’t get his way.

        None of the artists he’s bitched about NEED to be on “Glee” and if they don’t want to be on it, that’s their right to say how their music is used. His hissy fits make him look like a prima donna who thinks his show makes or breaks an artist. Which it does not.

  5. snottlebie

    Woo – late comment is late.

    I just wanted to comment on Quinn’s particular storyline in this episode. It seemed like the usual “popularity status” that Quinn is on, but then there was the whole auditorium scene. I actually DON’T think this is Glee’s usual ‘no continuity” sort of mistake.

    I think her outburst at Rachel and her need to be Prom Queen is more of an internal struggle. Quinn’s always been about maintaining this front that she’s a “perfect” girl: head cheerio, quarterback boyfriend, head of the Celibacy Club, etc. Her pregnancy really exposed all the insecurities inside of her as her perfect world crumbled to little tiny bits – like her terrible fear of becoming just another “Lima Loser.”

    And so I thought that this episode was showing that Quinn has given up on getting out of Lima. She’s given up on moving away, being somone. So she’s hanging onto Finn and Prom Queen because once high school is over she feels as if she’ll have nothing. Of course she doesn’t want to be a real estate agent or marry the guy who’s working in a tire shop, but she’s given up on everything else.

    It kind of explains her hatred for Rachel besides just the Finn thing. Whenever she sees Rachel and hears her sing she knows the girl is truly headed somewhere – Broadway – and it makes her angry because Quinn feels as if she’ll never have that talent, the chance to escape.

    So yeah, just my two cents. I may or may not think aobut television a bit too much.

    • Hi Snottlebie! I’m intrigued by your point of view, regarding Quinn. I think everyone knows someone for whom high school was his or her “glory days.” These are people who “had it all” during their teen years. Then, they graduated, and, for whatever reason, things went south. Everything after that paled in comparison to what they had when they were younger.

      I guess my issue with Quinn feeling like high school is her “Glory Days,” is that everything she has faced in her life throughout the Glee series SHOULD have taught her that this is NOT the case. After all, unlike the folks I mentioned in the first paragraph, Quinn hasn’t had the “Perfect” high school experience. She DID lose everything, when she became pregnant: her family, her friends, her popularity, her boyfriend, and her position as head cheerleader.

      But then Quinn gave birth to a healthy child. Now, of course, I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for her to give that child up for adoption, after having nurtured it in her belly for 9 months. And yet, in Quinn’s case (possibly because this is the simplified world of TV Land), after she gave the child up for adoption, her “external” life quickly went back to normal, even if, “internally,” she would never be the same. Quinn got her figure back (i.e. they removed the pillow from her shirt), her family (well, at least her mother) accepted her again, her popularity and friends returned, as did her boyfriend, and her status as head Cheerio (the last of which she eventually gave up, to some extent, because she learned she didn’t NEED it anymore to get what she wanted out of life).

      So, yes, Quinn lost everything. And yet, she still managed to survive and thrive in a high school setting. And this SHOULD have proven to her that she had the strength, courage, and intelligence, to move beyond Lima. Sure, Quinn might not be talented enough for a career on Broadway like Rachel, but she definitely has enough going for her to ensure that she will not end up a “Lima Loser.”

      So, what happened to Quinn RECENTLY that would have suddenly caused her to give up on her dreams? Is she perhaps, punishing herself for getting pregnant and giving up her baby? It’s possible. Though, if this is, in fact, the case, the writers haven’t done a great job of explaining Quinn’s inner struggles in this regard.

      Honestly, I’m not sure the Glee writers have given this quite as much thought to Quinn’s machinations as us fans have. Thank you again for the food for thought, snottlebie! You never fail to make watching Glee an intellectual endeavor for me. 🙂

  6. Giu

    Hey! I am from Brazil and found your site while looking for a PLL thing. I had never read recaps before, and I must say you got me hooked – to the point where I kept refreshing your page after Glee’s “Original Song” Episode to see what you had to say about it.
    And I tottally agree with your hatred towards “PLL’s Missing Love Interest Vortex”… I mean, Hanna is so awesome, but she is sure blind to Luca’s ‘perfectness’. He is just the sweetest guy on the show! And while Caleb is sure an eye candy, Lucas has so much personality that he kicks his ass.
    Anyways, to Glee! I tottally agree with you on Quinn. I personally hate the way she is so selfish about everything. She wanted to ruin Finn’s life because she didn’t want to tell him the baby was Puck’s, she was only interested on Sam because he impersonated Justin Bieber – and cheated on him with Finn just for the sake of it – and now she wants Finn because of… THE PROM CROWN? I mean, the writers apparently don’t know what to do with her. And Finn annoys me too, because he is so… Easily distracted.
    About the “Luck” couple…. How can I put this nicely… I hate Lauren Zizes. I think that her, as a character, is shallow and completely esterotypical! I mean, she does not have the deepness other characters in the show have. And her relationship with Puck is just… Not Puck-like. I liked Puck MUCH better when he was on his own.
    Just one last thing… I actually screamed when Blaine and Kurt kissed. Their kiss was so… Passionate.
    Anyways, thanks for the wonderfully funny recaps!
    Giu

    • Hi Giu! You are so sweet! Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your kind words. I’m honored to have introduced you to the wide and wonderful world of television recaps!

      I actually became obsessed with recaps a few years back, when I discovered the ones the awesome writers at TVGasm.com had published for a bunch of the shows I watched at the time. They were just so funny and insightful. And, while I was reading them, I felt like I was discussing my favorite shows with a kickass friend. It’s what eventually inspired me to start writing recaps on my own.

      And, of course, I already feel like I have a kickass friend in you, Giu, especially since you have such awesome taste in TV (A fellow PLL and Glee watcher, no less!). In addition to agreeing about what shows to watch, you and I also apparently agree on lots of things about the characters on those shows. For example, we agree that Hanna belongs with Lucas, because he is sweet, and smart, and funny, and has a good heart. And we agree that Luck sucks . . . and that Quinn and Finn both need a serious personality adjustment. 😉

      Thanks again for sharing Glee with me. I definitely look forward to gabbing with you about many more Glee and PLL episodes to come. (Speaking of which, the PLL Season Finale is tomorrow night! I can’t wait!)

  7. Eli

    Hi! I must say that I´m a big fan of Glee and can’t wait to see another episode to read another one of your great recaps!!! I read ’em all way from Argentina 🙂

    Thank you SO much, you don’t know how much I laugh at reading them! And I must say I agree always with your opinions 😀

    • Thanks so much, Eli! That is so sweet of you to say! I’m actually pretty psyched for Glee’s return too. These LONG hiatuses are driving me CRAZY! I have nothing to recap!

      So, you’re from Argentina? That is so awesome! This just goes to show the sort of universal and international appeal this show has.

      And as for us agreeing on everything . . . well . . . that just shows you are extremely intelligent, have an excellent sense of humor, and have incredible taste, obviously ;).

      I definitely look forward to talking all about Glee with you in the very near future!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s