CinderWaldorf and Chuck Bashed – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s ‘The Princesses and the Frog”

SERENA:  “Happy Character Assassination Day, Chuck!”

CHUCK:  “Oh, wow!  Today is Character Assassination Day.  I totally forgot.  Thanks for reminding me.  How are you going to spend it, Serena?”

SERENA:  “I’m going to pretend to be Blair’s friend to her face, while TOTALLY humiliating her, and ruining her shot at royalty, behind her back . . . all because she had the audacity to share a fake kiss with this guy I dumped . . . even though her and that guy claim they are only friends, and Blair is dating someone COMPLETELY DIFFERENT now!”

CHUCK: “Wow.  That’s good!  I hate you already.”

SERENA: “I know, right?  How are YOU going to celebrate?”

CHUCK:  “I’m considering getting wasted,  pushing Blair into a wall, and punching my hand through a glass window, so glass gets in her cheek, thereby, emotionally and physically scarring her for life!”

SERENA:  “Dammit Chuck, you are so much better at this than I am!”

*Sigh*  Oh, Chuck Bass!  I had such high hopes for you, in the beginning of the episode . . . you with your sexy perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, you’re gravelly “I just ate a pack of cigarettes” voice, and your 3-Day Diet of Bourbon, Self-Pity and Tears!

All you had to do was stay in bed a few more days, and WAIT!  Wait for Blair to take pity on your self-destructive soul, and come barging into your apartment, with her tough love, and a heavy duty bottle of disinfectant to get rid of the alcoholic stink.  All you had to do was shed a few tears, and milk the Vulnerability Card for a few exta moments, and THIS could have been you again . . .

 . . . and THAT would have inevitably led to THIS . . .

But NOOOOOO!  The writers You had to go and F*&K UP SO ROYALLY that your fandom is now literally in tatters.  Emotional and physical abuse is simply not something even the staunchest Chair Fan can condone. 

It’s funny, as a The Vampire Diaries fan, in my recap for THAT show last week, I wondered briefly whether a Delena fan (Damon and Elena) had pissed in the writers’ Cheerios, to cause them take a particularly harsh narrative turn with the male character in that prospective couple.  Well, I’m now wondering whether a Chair fan BLEW UP THOSE CHEERIOS WITH AN M-80 to deserve THIS turn of events . . .

“Don’t . . . mess . . . with . . . my .  . . Cheerios.”

But . . . ummmm . . . other than that it was a great episode!  (See?  Trying to stay positive here . . .)  On to the recap!

“I’ve Got a Royal Boyfriend, and you DON’T.  (Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah)”

BLAIR:  “Louis, don’t you think we are taking this whole Relationship Thing a bit too fast?  I mean, I really hardly know you.  And you haven’t even been signed as a series regular yet.”

LOUIS:  (in adorable, but almost incomprehensible, French accent)  “Of course, not Claire!  I love you, more than life itself.  And when you know in your heart you love someone that much, why take things slow?”

BLAIR:  “Um . . . my name is BLAIR.”

LOUIS: “Really?  Oops.”

After a night spent making out under the romantic lights of papparazzi flashbulbs, Blair and Louis continue their public courtship, by spending their afternoons and evenings doing things that make Blair look more “princess-esque” (like hanging out in sports bars, and acting, as Blair says, “pious”) . . .

“Take that, Kate Middleton!”

They then spend their mornings in bed, being nauseatingly sweet to one another.  (Seriously, if I have to hear Blair say, “LOUIIIIIIIIIEEEEE” one more time this season, I think I’m going to throw my stilettos at the television screen!)

Good job, Louis!  Kiss her and shut her up!

Roommate Serena grins and bears this.  But you can tell from the evil glint in her eye, that she wishes to chop Blair up into tiny bite-sized pieces, for having the GALL to steal her precious spotlight away, for even a single episode.

“I’ll get you My Pretty . . . and your little Guest Star Love Interest TOO!  Mwah-ha-ha!”

Later we learn just how far Serena is willing to go to get revenge on Blair, when the EEEEEVVVVILLLL Princess Sophie barges in on one of Louis’ and Blair’s tete-a-tetes to announce that Louis is . . . ALREADY ENGAGED!

“LOUIS!  You stop having fun, this INSTANT!  Don’t you know royal people are genetically predisposed to never have a good time!  Look at me!  The last time I smiled I was two-months old.  And that was only because I had gas.”

After her outburst, Princess Bitchy calls Serena on the phone to thank her for the tip.  FOR SHAME, SERENA!

“So . . . now that I’ve helped you out with your son.  Do you think you could set me up with Prince Harry?  Now THERE’S a royal who LIKES TO PARTY!”

Princess Sophie Reads Gossip Girl? 

Later Louis visits Blair’s house to apologize about the whole “Being Engaged” thing.  As it turns out, Princess Sophie wasn’t being entirely honest.  You see, Louis isn’t engaged YET, but he has to be engaged BY TOMORROW. 

OK . . . so remember how, in Cinderella, the Prince threw a Royal Ball, and invited all the “eligible ladies” in the land, so that he could pick which princess to marry?


Well, apparently, wherever Prince Louis is from (I think they said Monaco?) that ritual is actually not Total Bullsh*t.  It REALLY HAPPENS!  Go figure!

But Louis doesn’t want any of these Ugly Stepsister So-Called Princesses!  He wants Blair!  Now, all Blair has  to do is convince her Evil Stepmother Princess Sophie to let her attend the Royal Ball.  Once THAT happens, Blair is as good as engaged, herself! 

There’s just one problem . . .

As it turns out the Wicked Witch of the West (Wait . . . wrong story) one Not Particularly Ugly Stepsister has yet ANOTHER trick up her sleeve to sabotage Blair’s Big Day.  By the time Blair arrives for her interview with Princess Sophie, the latter already has at her disposal a full printed dossier on Poor Miss Waldorf, care of Gossip Girl and some Biatch Named Serena . . .


In a surprisingly amusing scene, Princess Sophie proceeds to detail ALL of Blair Waldorf’s best hits from FOUR Seasons Gossip Girl.  Some of the highlights include: dating a Lord who was having an affair with his own STEPMOTHER  (Not really Blair’s fault.) . . .


. . .  having a pregnancy scare  (COME ON!  Who hasn’t had one of THOSE?), being traded for a hotel (also not exactly her fault) . . .

. . . and dancing at a Burlesque Club . . .


Come on, now!  THAT was awesome!

But as Eric van der Woodsen says to Serena, “Only Blair Waldorf can do Blair Waldorf.”  So, of course, Blair deftly turns the situation on its head, arguing to Princess Sophie that her lifetime of public humiliation is actually a GOOD THING!


After all, with Gossip Girl systematically pulling all the skeletons out of Blair’s closet, since she was fourteen, at least the Royal Family knows the Queen B has nothing else to hide, right?  Or DOES SHE?

Nevertheless, Blair’s eloquent argument impresses Princess Sophie enough to earn her an invitation to the Prince’s Ball.  As her date to the event, Blair chooses to invite so-called Bestie Serena, even though the latter, as we know, has been pretty much pooping on Blair’s Joy, throughout the entire episode.

On the surface, Blair’s decision to invite Serena to the Ball seems like the Stupidest Idea Ever.  On the other hand, you know what they say, “Keep your friends close, and your frenemies closer . . .”

BLAIR:   “Is there a knife in my dress?”

SERENA:  “Not in the front.  Turn around.  Let me see the back.”

Speaking of Blonde Sociopaths . . .

Charlie Defeats Vanessa, Fans Cheer (But then become extremely frightened . . )

*sings*  “Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, hey, hey, hey GOODBYE!”

Did I not call it, about Charlie being a TOTAL WACKADOO?  I believe I did!  And yet, as much as I don’t like Charlie, I have to give the character at least SOME credit for efficiently disposing of a character I hate EVEN MORE!  Of course, I am talking about the sniveling, conniving, yet still surprisingly dull, MANESSA!

Rufus Humphrey, an aging has-been rocker from the early 90’s, knows a thing or two about Creepy Groupies . . . the kind that cut out tufts of your hair, while you are sleeping, and use them to make a DOLL / Sex Toy . . .

“What can I say?  Ladies love Rufus H!”

All Rufus has to do is take ONE look at the Overly Eager-to-Please Charlie, and he just knows his son is in for some SERIOUS TROUBLE!

Humpty Humphrey sat on a wall.  Humpty Humphrey had a great fall.  (Because Charlie pushed him.)

Dan (being Dan) COMPLETELY IGNORES his father’s warnings, and continues dragging Charlie around to all his classes, like his personal pet.  But when Charlie, after spending an HOUR gushing over how FASCINATING Dan’s life is (OK, now we KNOW she’s nuts!), plants a big wet kiss on him, it finally occurs to Humphrey that he’s got a potential Fatal Attraction on his hands . . .

 Charlie . . . in about 20 years.

But before Dan can have the “We can never be more than friends, because I think you are a psychotic raving lunatic,” talk with Charlie, someone ELSE intercepts her first . . .

Apparently, Manessa is leaving the show NYC to go “study abroad for a semester.”  (WAIT . . . does that mean she’s ACTUALLY GONE?)


But before she goes, she wants to “make sure Dan is safe.”  (OK . . . seriously, Vanessa?  The only person Dan needs protection from is YOU and, maybe, Georgina Sparks .  . . and, of course, Charlie.)  So, Vanessa finds Charlie at the bookstore, reading what can only be described as a Stalkers’ Handbook . . .

 . . . and offers to help her win Dan’s heart, so that Serena and Blair can’t.

When Dan does have “the talk” with Charlie, she plays it cool, claiming that she knows Dan’s still hung up on the other regular cast members of the show, and, therefore, “only likes him as a friend.”  (Famous last words, right?) 

“Friends can still f*&k, right?”

Dopey Dan is dimwitted enough to buy this, and invites Charlie to some “low-key” dinner party thing, that Rufus is throwing for a band that he hopes to work for as a producer.  OH . . . did I mention that Rufus, Perpetual House Boy / Ass Wiper of Lily is actually trying to get a JOB!

Honestly, that is the most shocking thing that happened in this episode.

Charlie offers to bake homemade pizzas for the dinner.  But when it comes time for the event, she has decked out the Humphrey’s Brooklyn Apartment like P Diddy’s White Party, and it’s SO NOT ROCKER CHIC APPROPRIATE for Rufus’ early 20-something rockers / potential employers . . .

“I was just going to order in McDonalds.”

Rufus politely excuses himself to take the band elsewhere.  Then Charlie starts boo hooing about how Vanessa told her to cater in the event, and was clearly trying to sabotage her, because she knew Charlie not-so secretly had a THANG for Dan.  Ever the sucker for a wounded puppy, Dan offers to tote Charlie along on her first Upper East Side Showdown.  But “brave” Charlie wants to do this one ALONE. 

“I’m going to go eat Vanessa’s insides now, and wear her ribcage as a hat.  But I’ll be back later, so we can play Jenga.”

As it turns out, VANESSA actually gave Charlie GOOD ADVICE (Who’d have thought?) as to how to impress Rufus’ prospective clients.  But Charlie (who clearly watches Gossip Girl) knew how easy it was to make people DESPISE Vanessa, and decided to use that information to make Dan feel sorry for her.  And we ALL KNOW that Dan only screws those people he feels sorry for . . .

Case in point . . .

Well, played Lunatic Charlie!  You’ve successfully disposed of Manessa, and are now well on your way to becoming Juliet 2.0 . . . Bravo!

Now, all you need is a Boring Brother in Jail, who has the hots for Serena . . .

Oh, by the way, Rufus got the JOB . . .

 . . . (not that anyone really cares).

Speaking of stories nobody really cares about . . .

Raina the Complain-a

“Why aren’t you interested in MY storyline, dammit?  BE INTERESTED (or, I assure you, the writers will draw it out for an ENTIRE SEASON, as punishment).” 

So, Raina is still searching for intel on her Mama.  And Nate, out of loyalty to Chuck, is still subtly trying to convince her to stop her search.   Raina reads Nate’s attitude as being “not supportive,” and begins withholding sex from Nate as a result.  And we all know how much Nate LOVES sex . . .  (Hint: He loves it almost as much as he loves the movie The Sound of Music.)

So, Nate’s been pressuring a perpetually Drunk Chuck to come clean to Raina about what his dad may, or may not, have done.  But Chuck doesn’t want to talk to Raina.  He’d much prefer to have sex with Blair drown his sorrows in booze, and contemplate giving up showering and shaving for Lent . . .

“If you wrung out my liver, there would probably be enough booze in their to serve an entire Irish Pub on St. Patty’s Day.”

Things go from bad to worse, when the P.I. Chuck hired to look into Raina’s mom’s death “miraculously” discovers a letter in Bart’s papers from the elder Mrs. Thorpe that says, “You know how much you mean to me, but I can’t do this anymore.”

Chuck, and everyone else on the show, immediately assumes that this letter somehow implicates Bart in Avery’s death, since it seems to indicate that they had an affair.  But, honestly, that’s just BULLSH*T!  That vague letter could have meant about 80 different things.  It could mean that Raina’s mom committed suicide.  It could mean that RUSSELL THORPE learned of the affair, and arranged to have his wife killed.   It could mean that Bart and Avery plotted to burn down the hotel for the insurance money, but Avery was having second thoughts, and was too late in trying to stop the fire.

I mean, COME ON, CHUCK BASS!  Of all people, I’d expect YOU to be a bit more creative here . . .

BLAIR would never jump to conclusions like this. . .

Anywhoo . . . Nate has this Big Ole Confrontation with Chuck, about how he has to tell Raina the truth, and blah, blah, blah.  Then he proceeds to add insult to injury, by telling Chuck ALL ABOUT Blair’s upcoming attendance at the Prince’s Ball.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, when Chuck tells Nate that “no one understands what [he and Blair] have, Nate replies that what they have is “not normal,” and that Blair is “better off with the French GUY!”

“You just bought yourself a one-way ticket to an ass-kicking, BOY!”

Nate then runs and tells Raina everything told Chuck told him, which causes Raina to basically go APESH*T on Nate’s ass . . .

“Is this because you’re on your period?”

Like a petulant four-year old in need of a nap, Raina stamps her foot a few times, and issues Nate an ultimatum:  “ME or CHUCK!”

So, Nate leaves . . .  (Wouldn’t you?)

Meanwhile, Chuck puts on a new suit, shaves, and hops into a limo, an Engagement Ring in hand.  He is headed to the Prince’s Ball, determined to win back his Queen B . . .

Of course, this would be a WHOLE lot more promising and romantic for us Chair fans, if Chuck wasn’t so OBVIOUSLY in Drunk and Destructive Bass Mode . . .

You Peed on My Fairytale!

“Psst . . . Dorota, you don’t have to feed me my lines like this.  That’s what the teleprompter is for.”

After running through some Information about Royal People Flashcards with Dorota, and receiving a very expensive (but oddly Tinkerbell-esque) ballgown from Louis . . .

 . . . Blair heads to the ball with a Traitorous Serena, by her side . . .

Try not to trip on the trail of banana peels I keep dropping in front of your feet, M-Kay?”

At least, initially, Blair is the Belle of the Ball, wowing the crowd with her beauty, social graces, and ridiculous amounts of Flashcard-Memorized Royal Knowledge . . .

“How’s your great-great-great-great Grandfather, King Charles III doing . . . Still dead?  So, sorry to hear about that.”

Watching Blair happily traverse the crowd, and hearing Louis gush over how wonderful she is, Serena begins to feel a bit guilty about being such a Heinous Poopyhead to her so-called friend the entire episode.  And it is for this reason, that when Drunk Chuck crashes the party, Serena tries in vain to stop him.  But Chuck will NOT be stopped.  He approaches Princess Sophie first, hitting on her, shamelessly, and announcing himself as “Chuck Bass . . . the love of [Blair’s] life.”

Chuck then takes things one step further, noting that Marie Antoinette was always Blair’s favorite role to play, but that HE was always the one eating her cake . . .

Oh, yeah!  They went there!

Chuck then drunkenly confronts Blair, and makes a TOTAL scene in front of all the royals, knocking over a tray of food in his wake.  Security ends up having to drag him out of the party.  A tearful Blair makes a heartfelt apology to the Royals (“I’m so ashamed and sorry, my friends and I caused any trouble”) before dashing out of the party herself.

Princess Sophie is NOT amused, “End it now,” she stage whispers in Louis’ ear . . .

“It’s strange but I suddenly find myself very in the mood for pie.”

A Decent Proposal

“Where’s my glass slipper, dammit?  Engagement rings are SO this century!”

Back at the apartment, Blair confides her humiliation over recent events to Serena, who makes the Total Bad Friend move (kind of like she’s been doing all episode), by basically telling Blair that what happened was no big deal, because she’s going to end up with Chuck, anyway.

Well, look who finally decided to become a Chair Fan . . .

Blair then FINALLY confronts Serena about her many attempts to sabotage Blair’s chance at royalty.  The Wounded Queen B claims that this is the first time in a long time that she is truly happy with her life. She notes that Louis makes her feel things she had only felt before with Chuck. 

Little does Blair know that SOMEONE is listening in on her conversation . . .

Later, Louis confronts Blair and tells her that he wants her to experience joy in her life.  He never thought he would be able to marry for love.  And now he can marry a total and complete stranger!  Louis knows all that Blair gave up to be with him.  And he is willing to give up the crown to be with her.  (Really?  Because I wouldn’t.) 

So, he gets on his knee and proposes.  But, before Blair can give Louis his answer, she has someone she needs to see . . .

Everything Turns to Crap . . .


“Sorry, I ruined your shot at being a princess,” slurs Chuck, when Blair comes to visit him at his apartment.  “I need you like I’ve never needed you before,” he pleads.  “The only thing that’s ever been real is me and you.  That’s why you came back to me.”

Blair hugs Chuck affectionately, and uses this moment to tell him about the proposal.  It’s as if a part of her wants Chuck to convince her to say no.  But Chuck is too drunk, and depressed, to reason properly.  And every word he utters to her is strictly possessive in its implications.   Nowhere in Chuck’s monologue does he reference BLAIR’S feelings, what SHE wants, or even what he loves about HER.  “You’re mine,” he say decisively.

“I wanted to be,” Blair admits sadly.


“You’ll never be with anyone else but me.  The only thing that is real to me is you.”

There’s a need and insistence in Chuck’s words that is heart-wrenching in its desperation, moving in its intensity, and yet, somewhat disappointing, in its abject selfishness.  Fans of Chuck Bass know that he DOES care about Blair, that he HAS sacrificed for her, that he WOULD do anything for her.  But that’s not what’s coming across in this scene.  All we see in Chuck is FEAR:  the fear of losing the one thing in his life that makes sense, when everything else seems to be falling apart.

And that’s what causes Chuck to lash out, pushing Blair against a wall.  And when she struggles out of his grasp, he punches a windowpane, injuring his own hand, and causing glass and debris to fly everywhere.  Tragically,  Blair does not make it out of this unscathed . . .

As a scarred Blair rushes from the apartment, crying and clutching her face, Nate looks on in disgust, which makes me wonder how long exactly he’s been standing there, like a dope, doing nothing.


“Hi, is this Losers’ Anonymous?   My name is Nate.”

Immediately, after watching Chuck RETROACTIVELY RUIN ONE OF THE BEST ROMANCES ON TELEVISION (Though, it must be said, Ed Westwick’s acting was both HORRIFYING and CAPTIVATING in that scene, as was Leighton Meester’s.), Nate calls Raina to tell her that she is his Consolation Prize.  “I choose you,” he tells her answering machine.  (How romantic!)

But Raina is already on the phone with someone else . . . JACK BASS.

Here we go again . . .

In the final moments of the episode, we see Blair literally close the door on Serena’s friendship (Serves that b*tch right!).  She then calls her mother to give her the good(?) news.   Blair has decided to accept Louis’ proposal.  She is engaged to be married . . . to a Real Prince . . .

For me, “The Princesses and the Frog” was a True Contradiction.  I don’t think I’ve ever been as impressed (by amazing acting, and a gripping storyline), and yet, at the same time, as thoroughly disappointed (by the seemingly deliberate SHIP and character assassination) by an episode, in my entire life.  But enough about me.  I want to know about YOU! 

Is Louis starting to grow on you, like he is on Dorota?  How long before Charlie starts burning bunnies, and coming at Dan with a butcher’s knife?  Are you as THRILLED to see Vanessa go, as I am?  And, perhaps, most importantly, has the CHAIR ship sailed for you?  Or do you still believe this fairytale can have a happy ending?

Until next time . . .  XOXO. 

[][Fangirls Forever]


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35 responses to “CinderWaldorf and Chuck Bashed – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s ‘The Princesses and the Frog”

  1. Rene

    Wow just Wow it amazes me each time how you entrance me with your reviews. I missed all my shows tonight so to see you had posted just before my bedtime here at after 4 in the morning LOL was nice timing.
    I think this is the most detailed reviews I have EVER seen from you. I can tell you really liked the episode, it showed. I hope to watch everthing I missed this weekend but thanks to you I feel like I did see it, last night (monday). My favorite part from what you wrote sounds like it would be the parts with blair/louie and blair/serena. I guess I will see for sure later on. Sweet Dreams, I will be back for more soon. Thanks for sharing.
    Oh and I am a Chair fan I think in the end they will be together but not till the next season some time. Chuch has to have his down time I believe.

    • Hey Rene! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t sleep. 🙂 As you can probably tell, 4pm is my bedtime too, most of the time. And I have to wake up at 7 on weekdays! 🙂 Oddly enough, weekends are when I often get to bed at a reasonable hour. Go figure! Such, is the life of a writer, who still has to hold down a day job. 🙂

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really glad you enjoyed the recap. And I do think there are some things to enjoy about this episode, despite it’s maudlin conclusion. Leighton Meester and Ed Westwick were both at their best. And, while I certainly can’t say the same thing for ED, Leighton was Blair at her most likeable, this week. (Though she was a bit nauseating at times with Louis, admittedly.) 🙂

      I agree with you that Chair will most likely be endgame, despite all THIS. I hear that the producers of GG went on an interview spree, and did some MAJOR control, after seeing fans reactions to this episode. They assure us that Chuck is not a “violent person.” That’s comforting . . . but they sure have a funny way of showing it. 🙂 Hopefully Chuck’s redemption will be twice as sweet, as his collapse was sour.

  2. Tamsyn

    These writers should write a book on how to destroy a great couple. I stopped shipping Chair after 4.09 when Blair said she wanted to be a powerful woman and that’s when I realised these writers were never going to repair Chair after all the season 3 crap and they were just fine with the relationship’s dynamics, and since my Chair love was on thin ice it was easy to stop shipping them. I don’t know if Chuck will ever grow up after everything thats happened the past year and now I can say that I’m completely over Chair, and I really hope it’s over for good, not even the amazing chemistry or acting could draw me back. I’ll still be reading your recaps though, they’re absolutely hilarious and more entertaining than the actual episodes.

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Tamsyn! I definitely think you are not alone in having “fallen out of love” with Chair. And this really is a shame. Because, as you mentioned, Ed and Leighton are both SO talented, and make Chuck and Blair absolutely sizzle on the screen together, when given the right dialogue and plotlines.
      In a series like this, on-again, off-again, couples are bound to have their ups and downs. Like real couples, characters break up. They screw up. They do bad things. But many loyal fans like you are starting to wonder just how many ridiculously dark turns Chuck’s character has to take, before the SHIP sinks completely. And though I am still hanging on to this SHIP for dear life . . . with a life raft . . . the GG writers are REALLY making things difficult for me, both as a fan, and as a recapper. 🙂

  3. Wow, Julie, your recaps are always amazing, but you have really been bringing it lately! First, I was spoiled with your in depth Forwood analysis, and now you have deconstructed what has to be one of the most abjectly depressing Gossip Girl episodes in the history of the show.

    Did you ever read an interview with Julie Plec where it appeared that fan bias was impacting the character arc for Damon? She said that they were constantly working against a section of the fan base who are willing to forgive him anything, because how can you make their actions matter if fans don’t see their character clearly. That kind of thinking has led to incidents like the Jeremy neck snap and the Elena force feeding. I would imagine a similar mentality is the reason behind Chuck whoring Blair out for a hotel, and now his physical abuse of her.

    I am really disappointed that the writers are trying to make these characters as reprehensible as possible. I though the balance they had with Damon in season one’s last half was the best – we knew he was dangerous, for crying out loud, even without them grinding into our eyes how horrible he can be. I would have preferred the writers focus more on the emotional relationships between Katherine-Stefan-Damon-Elena rather than how can we make Elena hate Damon this week. Luckily, they haven’t gone too far with Damon’s character yet, and being a vampire his actions are more understandable.

    Chuck Bass, being a character set in the real world – a heightened reality but the real world nonetheless – makes it harder to rationalise his actions. I miss the Chuck Bass in season one – sexy and villianous in a fun way. There is only so much good will writers can burn through with a character before it is hard to feel enthusiastic about their redemption arc. I think it would have been far more effective if they had made Blair feel conflicted about Dan before the Indecent Proposal and a love triangle emerge where all points were equally sympathetic and interesting. I actually have really and truly enjoyed Dan with Blair (mostly cos she calls him on his shit and he has laughed at her insults – gotta love someone who can laugh at themselves). If only I had to choose between two Blair ships who were both at full strength (since I don’t view Louis as any more than a prop, French accent aside), rather than dredge through what you so aptly call character assassination.

    I actually think we are seeing Serena’s true colours rather than character assassination. She has always been the bigger person in situations because she has never been second best – it is always easy to be friendly and lovely when that is the case. Now, with her great love Dan in danger of choosing Blair over here and Blair close to achieving the top social status – royalty – we are seeing the inner catty Serena draw her claws out. I also think her overreaction is due to her fear of becoming irrelevant (as highlighted in Gossip Girl in the season two finale). If Dan replaces her with Blair and Blair truly is the Queen B, not because Serena ALLOWS her to have that position, Serena is probably afraid of no one really needing or caring about her.

    Still, I might care more about Serena if Blake Lively made even the slightest effort to emote. At least Ed Westwick is still trying.

    • “Still, I might care more about Serena if Blake Lively made even the slightest effort to emote. At least Ed Westwick is still trying.” — THIS, I love!

      You know, it’s funny. I always attributed Serena’s monotone line delivery, and vapid facial expressions, to her character. But that very well might be just Blake Lively, being Blake not-so-lively. In Blake’s defense, I thought she was BRILLIANT at playing a trashy slut, in the film The Town. (OK . . . now that I think about it, that probably wasn’t the best “defensive” example. :))

      I like your interpretation of Serena, as someone who ISN’T necessarily so much more “secure” than Blair, as most GG fans originally assumed. But, rather, her “feminine wiles” simply have never been challenged before. While Blair was always the Queen B, Serena always took some comfort in being the Hot Girl, the one everybody fell all over themselves to date, and (perhaps, more often than not) sleep with. Having Serena be patently JEALOUS of Blair, actually makes a whole lot more sense, than her “Revenge” rationale, regarding the whole Dan Thing. I hope they develop this storyline in as intelligent a manner as you described it.

      Believe it or not, I had never actually read an interview with Julie Plec, in which she spoke so HARSHLY toward those CERTAIN Damon fans. 🙂 (It’s probably better off that I didn’t. ;)). I do agree with you that there is probably an element of Plec’s rationale in the way the GG writers continue to repeatedly character assassinate Chuck.

      Of course, I understand the importance of creating flawed and three-dimensional characters. And I recognize that good story telling requires writers to illustrate characters flaws to fans, in ways that are sometimes painful (both for the fans, and the character himself). Yet, like you, I strongly disagree with the notion that writers should take it upon themselves PUNISH fans for falling in love with ANY character they create — whether that character is one of the darkest of villains, or the sappiest of Mary Sues.

      Different fans are always going to interpret characters’ actions differently, depending on their own personalities and experiences. And a writer has to accept that not all of their fans are going to see a story in the exact way it was intended. But that’s no reason to BANG the fans over the head with particular points or character flaws, just to teach them a “lesson.”

      So, far with Damon Salvatore, with the exception of the Jeremy Neck Snap Incident and a few of his darker moments from the first couple of episodes, the majority of his actions, during the course of the series, were, if not justifiable, at least understandable, given HIS unique experiences. I can’t always say the same for some of Chuck’s actions. Nevertheless, I hope that BOTH shows writers now feel that they have “taught us” enough about the dangers of loving bad boys. And, now, they can begin the much more rewarding (at least, in my eyes) tasks of (1) redeeming those “boys,” and, (2) getting them laid by CERTAIN females. 😉

  4. Megan

    I just don’t see why they hurt the best ship they had. I’m literally stunned and amazed at how they have treated a very loyal fanbase and I’m done with this show. They screwed Chuck and Blair fans over so many times and now this. Goodbye Gossip Girl, I hope you drown in you pitiful ratings next year.

    • I feel your pain, Megan! The GG writers may have just gone too far this time. Just thinking of how us Chair fans have suffered lately, makes me sad. I appreciate your stopping by and commenting though! 🙂

  5. Emily

    Like you, I was both amazed and horrified by this episode. Ed’s acting especially, but also Leighton’s, was gripping and wonderful /mesmerizing despite the horrors the writers were piling on Chuck and CB. However, I have to say that I still have faith in Chuck as a character and in Chair as a couple. It’s going to be a looooooong time before they could ever be together or be happy and healthy for each other, but I still think it can and will happen. Maybe I’m just delusional at this point, but it’ll be interesting to see if the writers FINALLY start to dig Chuck out of the hole they’ve been burying him in since 3.17.

    • Hi Emily! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I love your Chair optimism! 🙂 And if recent interviews with the GG writers are any indication, Josh Schwartz and Co. are, in fact, planning a VERY SERIOUS Chuck Bass Redemption arc, which will inevitably lead to a Super Sweet Chair Reunion arc. I just hope it won’t be too little, too late . . .

  6. Frances

    Thank you for acknowledging the total character assassination of Chuck in this episode. I’m getting so tired of the writers making Chuck carry the whole show’s drama.

    I’m getting even more tired of how the writers are treating the Chuck/Blair relationship, and by extension the fans of that relationship. I genuinely don’t understand why the writers have made the show’s most popular pairing go to such a dark, awful place.

    • Hi Frances! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I’m with you. I like my Gossip Girl relationships naughty and sexy, with a dollop of smutty, to top it all off. One of the things I always loved about Gossip Girl was that the show always had such a good sense of humor about itself, and never took itself too seriously.

      This recent development with Chuck Bass’ character (while it ABSOLUTELY showcases Ed Westwick’s acting, at its finest) is definitely TOO DARK and TOO SERIOUS for my taste. Where’s the snarky, sly, confident Chuck Bass of seasons past? I’m hoping the writers might still manage to bring HIM back! 🙂

  7. Merry ROisman

    I love your recaps! You manage the perfect balance of humor and critique!

  8. GoodcopBasscop

    Such a super depressing episode that I had high hopes for coming in but your recap made me laugh. It’s like the writers want us to hate Chair and Chuck but you know what I’m loyal to Chair and I’m not going to give up on them because obviously Chuck does something amazing for Blair otherwise we wouldn’t have that happy Chuck and Blair photo. And I’m also excited for Georgina to come back.

    • A very good point, GoodcopBasscop. That slightly spoilery photo of Chair in the Chairs ABSOLUTELY foreshadows that happy days will, in fact, be here again for Blair and Chuck (hopefully, sooner rather than later). We’ve all stuck with Chair through four seasons of thick and thin. And though the bad times were bad, the good times were always REALLY GOOD. I simply can’t believe that the writers would deliberately let down what has always been the largest percentage of the show’s fanbase.

      Admittedly, this is a pretty deep hole the writers have dug for Chuck. I hope he has a mighty big shovel! Because Chair fans might not be as quick to forgive him, this time . . . 🙂

  9. Don’t you think the timing of B’s fairy tale is so perfect what with the Royal Wedding and all? The prince has married a commoner – parallel stories! Whoa.

    I’m just so happy that these days all the male attention os on Blair and not on that B*atch Serena who for me is not as exquisite as Blair (I’ve always wondered why all the attention was on here and my friend said it’s coz she’s a Sl%t =P) And I’ve been rooting for Blair to finally get her happy ending!!! Weeeee! I’m so happy that she’s engaged! BUT…and it’s big but…knowing GG writers it’s all going to be a mess for her very soon. Sigh.

    I’m a chair fan. But Mrs. Chuck Bass vs. Princess of Monaco? DUH!!!

    So do you think that’s why they’ve been making the character of vanessa so unbearable so that they can ship her off to school and get rid of the character?

    • Good point, diplomaticwife! I DO wonder if, when the writers drafted this episode, they knew it would air within a week of the REAL Royal Wedding. (After all, Blair DID make a Kate Middleton reference in last week’s episode. :))

      And though I don’t really feel like Blair KNOWS Louis well enough to run off to Monaco and be his lawfully-wedded wife, I will admit that, like Dorota said, “he’s growing on me.” As a staunch Chair fan, I was prepared to be REALLY annoyed by Louis. But I wasn’t, surprisingly! I think that has something to do with Hugo Becker’s natural charisma. Sure, his English isn’t the best. But what he lacks in elocution, he makes up for in charm.

      As for Manessa, I feel like fans never really took to the character. So, for me, it was only a matter of time before they axed her. In fact, I’m shocked it took this long!

  10. SeriouslyDisappointed!

    This episode killed me……….can they give chuck back SOME redeeming qualities? anything? at all?! he spent the episode looking like a drunk/hungover hobo in a good suit/robe. wtf. where was the charming sleezy fu**able chuck from before??? this was some serious character assassination. I don’t understand why blair would even want to go back to that with a man who professes he’ll try to give her joy in her life…chuck has nothing to offer! he’s not even powerful anymore! im so upset. they were my favorite couple. I guess i will have to keep going back and replaying season 1 & 2. From then on, it has been a total disappointment. They need to hire new writers, ASAPPPPP.

    good review though:)

    • Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, SeriouslyDisappointed!

      I must admit, I giggled at your CURRENT description of Chuck, “drunk/hungover hobo in a good suit/robe,” as compared to your previous one, “charming sleazy fu**able.” That’s an astonishingly good summation of the character’s “before and after!” 🙂

      I do hope the writers are reading blogs and message boards, so that they can see what they’ve done to some of their staunchest (and wittiest) fans. 🙂

  11. REgina

    I don’t know what to say abou this episode, but your recap is absolutely gorgeous and funny.

  12. REgina

    and despite how tiring this season was in my honest opinion, considering how the writers seem to unexpectedly change one’s character in a matter of minutes is shocking,and not in a good way at that. But I really want to continue watching GG until the end,i just really can’t help it,lol.

    • Awww, you are so sweet, Regina! Thanks so much for the kind words. You know, you are absolutely right about the GG writers’ tendency to change their characters’ personalities, like they change their clothes. And if that’s the case, we might as well just forget that THIS abusive, selfish, and self-destructive, Chuck existed, because he will be TOTALLY GONE, by next week. (We can only hope!)

      I too will be sticking with GG until the bitter end. Spending four years of my life with a show is NO LAUGHING MATTER! So, I am very much expecting the GG writers to reward my loyalty with the proverbial Pot of Chair-y Gold at the end of the Upper East Side Rainbow. 🙂

  13. meg

    This is the first time I’ve read your recap, I loved it!! It was so enjoyable to read and I had already seen the show. Thank you and I can’t wait to read future recaps.

    • Thanks so much for your awesome comment, meg! I’m so honored that you enjoyed the recap. I definitely look forward to talking about GG with you, in the very near future! 🙂

  14. iszy

    It is so lovely reading your witty reviews. Some of your lines having me laughing myself silly! In terms of the ep, i actually really liked it. EL killed their scenes together.
    N.B. its now known as a CHAIRYTALE 😉

    • Hey iszy! *waves* I am so honored you enjoyed the recap, and am thrilled you liked the episode. 🙂

      You are absolutely right! Ed and Leighton both deserve Emmy’s for their riveting performances here. And, while I’m not happy the writers decided to take such a dark turn with Chuck Bass, after SO MANY false starts in his redemption arc, I must admit the episode was very well-plotted. It absolutely held my interest, from beginning to end. So, there’s something to be said for that! 🙂

      Ooh, I ADORE the moniker, Chairytale! It’s an absolute PERFECT name for our much-abused SHIP. Thanks so much for sharing it with me. 🙂

  15. jessica22

    Hey! I really enjoy all of your recaps, and the way you turn such a dark (depressing, soulcrushing, heartbreaking, etc.) episode into something funny! I agree that both Ed and Leighton were at their best performance-wise, but I sadly can’t say the same about their characters. While Blair has matured extensively (especially this past season), I feel like Chuck has regressed to the pilot, where he tried to force himself on both Serena and Jenny. I am the biggest chair fan there is, but I don’t think I can defend what Chuck did this episode. He was drunk, he found out his father intentionally killed someone, and he was losing the one person he truly loved. That still doesn’t justify abuse of any form. I read an interview where Safran was defending his behavior, claiming Chuck will “never hurt Blair” (or something along those lines). I honestly cannot see how they do not realize that what they depicted on Monday (the aggression, possessive comments, violence) illustrates an unhealthy relationship. Whatever their redemption plan is for Chuck, it better be good. I still root for chair (how could I not?!) but I think Chuck needs to mature as a character. Anyways, thanks for writing the recaps! They really make my day!

    • Thanks so much for your kind words, jessica22! I’m happy that I was able to make you smile a little bit, after what was undoubtedly a very sad day on the Upper East Side.

      I agree with you that the Gossip Girl writers erred BIG TIME, when they decided to have Chuck agressively throw Blair into a wall, and strike out at her. I understand that Chuck needed to hit rock bottom, before he could rebuild, but did ROCK BOTTOM really have to include THIS? I feel like there were lots of other avenues they could have taken with Chuck, that would have effectively shown how lost the character was, without alienating him from what has always been a loyal fanbase:

      Why not do a trip to the hospital as a result of alcohol poisoning, for example (He clearly DRANK ENOUGH for it this week), or even a failed suicide attempt? THESE means of deconstructing Chuck would have been just as, if not more, poignant than the route they actually chose. They also would have brought Chair together, in a believeable and touching way, through Blair coming to Chuck’s aid, and rescuing him from his own self-hatred.

      I know that the writers and producers of the show were trying to do damage control with the “Chuck would never intentionally hurt Blair” interviews they gave shortly after the episode aired. But as GG fans, we should be able to interpret an episode’s happenings, on our OWN, without any help from the creators. If the writers felt they need to EXPLAIN Chuck’s actions to us, that, to me, is a sign they made a mistake in portraying those actions.

      But, like you, I’m sticking with the show, until the end, and hoping that Chuck’s redemption arc, and Chair Reunion arc is SO poignant and powerful that it allows me to forgive the character for his actions in this episode. All fingers crossed! 🙂

  16. Allie

    I don’t think I’ll have nearly as difficult a time forgiving Chuck as you- possibly because when I was that age, I remember drunk guys punching walls being far from uncommon 🙂

    I definitely wasn’t nuts about how pushy he got though, especially given his history, so I understand why that would seriously bother people. But I have no doubt they plan on turning the character around, the writers and producers have said as much. So as much as this scene sucked, at least we can only go up from here… right?

    Loved the recap, as usual… especially the beginning. And your recap of Louis is a hell of a lot more entertaining than his actual presence on screen.

    • Hey Allie! Thanks so much for your kind words, and for stopping by and commenting. Good point about the whole Wall / Window Punching Thing. I recall that being a major pasttime of guys in my college as well. (They should really turn Wall Punching into a Team Sport.) 🙂

      You know sometimes it’s easy to forget that Chuck is 20 years old, when he’s played by a 23-year old actor, looks about 28, and acts about 45, most of the time. 🙂 I mean, seriously, how many 20-year olds do you know that OWN THEIR OWN EMPIRE! 😉

      But the fact that Chuck punched the glass, while BLAIR WAS STANDING RIGHT UNDER IT, bothered me a whole lot. I mean, if you’re going to punch a window in your friend’s apartment, then FINE, go right ahead, especially if you can afford to pay him back for it (as Chuck, clearly, can). But, for heaven sakes, GET BETTER AIM! What if he had COMPLETELY missed the glass, and his fist made direct contact with Blair’s face? Would anyone believe him, if he said he hadn’t aimed for her? Probably not.

      Plus, as you said, Chuck also grabbed at Blair, and was being unusually selfish and pushy in his declarations of love for her, despite having, just a few weeks ago, declared his love for Raina. (And we all know what a huge load of BS that was.) I know it sounds like I’m being tough on Chuck. But I’m really being tough on the writers. I just feel like they didn’t have to go this far to make Chuck “reach rock bottom.”

      That being said, I’m positive that Chuck is due for a major redemption arc. (I think it will HAVE to be extremely major, given fans reaction to this episode.) And that redemption arc will inevitably pave the way for an EPIC Chair reunion. It is my anticipation for THIS redemption / reunion that keeps me coming back, week after week.

      LOL re: your comment about Lucky Louis. I so enjoy coming up with increasingly ridiculous things for him to say in my recap captions. I think that’s what I’m going to miss most about him, following his inevitable departure. My recaps will inevitably suffer without him. 🙂

  17. miss_teadrinker

    Your recaps are AWESOME and often have me giggling to myself, to the confusion of my housemates 😀 I especially loved “Happy Character Assassination Day” in this one!

    When I first saw the episode, I was really shocked at the Chuck/Blair scene and it caused me to really think about my ship loyalty. But after a while I came to the conclusion that, somehow, I CANNOT stop shipping Chair.

    As Connor Paolo (who plays Eric, for those who didn’t know) once said in an interview, the show is very much PLOT driven, which means the characters sometimes do things which are, well, out of character, in order to push the plot forward. While this is disappointing (you’d think good writers would be able to provide good plots AND reliable characters), the writers do have ultimate control and we have to accept what they put our beloved Chair though.

    If this were a real life situation I wouldn’t condone it. However, it’s TV. Gossip Girl has never been, and never will be, a particularly realistic show. I still ship Chair, and probably will til the end.

    • Hey Miss TeaDrinker! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, and for your kind words. I am so glad you enjoyed the recap.

      I love what Connor Paolo said about the show being more plot-driven than character consistent. Because I think it is SO true! I actually think that THIS is how I rationalized my continued shipping of Chair, in light of all the Chuck Character Assassination to which we’ve been subject, over the course of these past four seasons, and these last two, in particular.

      It may sound silly, but, I like to think of Chuck as a real person out there somewhere, who’s life is being made into a TV show, by a group of tempermental writers. They have his general character and story down right. But sometimes they tweak things to make his life seem more “dramatic” than it actually is.

      And when TV Chuck does something like PUNCH A GLASS WALL NEAR BLAIR’S HEAD, I like to imagine real Chuck watching the drama unfold at home on his big screen TV thinking, “Are you kidding? I would NEVER EVER DO THAT! What makes them think I would possibly do that?” Ditto, regarding the, “sex with racoon zombie” thing, the “falling in love with Raina” thing, and the “trading Blair for a hotel” thing.

      And it’s my belief in, and love of, the REAL, character consistent, Chuck that allows me to continue SHIPPING Chair. Because, as I know full well, somewhere out there, the REAL Chuck and Blair are already married, living happily ever after in the Empire Hotel, and scoffing at all the crazy situations GG writers regularly cook up in their faux lives, when trying to “keep them apart.” 🙂

  18. What a great episode, especially the end! I do really like how the Blair/Louis storyline is developing, and have had enough of Chuck (like everyone else).

    Also thought it was so great that they used “Ladder Song” by Bright Eyes in the end montage (video is up at ) Gossip Girl + Bright Eyes = me in heaven.

    • Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, darci! It will certainly be interesting to see where the Chuck/ Blair / Louis triangle takes us in Season 5! 🙂

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