No Rest for the Wicked – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “My Name is Trouble”


Welcome back, My Pretties!  It’s time to return to Rosewood, where all the girls look like supermodels, the boys rarely wear clothing, and “A” knows ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING!  This week, our favorite PLL girls got to show off their respective naughty sides.

But, unfortunately, not in a sexual context . . .

Having spent the majority of last season, watching the typically well-behaved (well, except for Hanna) fabulous foursome suffer as victims of A’s wrath, it was intriguing to see the tables turned, for a change.  Rather than being sinned against, in “My Name is Trouble,” all of our heroines took their shot at being the sinners. 


Of course, they all did some nice things this week too.  It’s just a lot less interesting to talk about those . . . 

So, put on your devil horns, and leave your morals at the door, because it’s time to be BAD, PLL-style!

I Dream of Scream

HANNA:  “I hate getting stuck in your dreams, Spencer.  You always make us do lame things.  What kind of movie is this, anyway?  It looks older than my grandma!

SPENCER:  “It’s Jekyll and Hyde.  It’s supposed to be eerie and symbolic.”

HANNA: “Eerie and symbolic, my ass . .  . next time, take us out clubbing, or something.”

When the episode begins, our PLL girls are hanging out in the same movie theater where Emily takes all of her dates.  But rather than watching the old film they presumably came to see, the foursome are discussing Possibly Dead / Possibly a Zombie, Creepy Pedo Ian, and whether or not Facelift Jason and Spencer’s Sister Crazy Nanny Carrie Melissa are hiding him in Facelift Jason’s house.  (Fortunately, no one ever goes to this theater, aside from Emily and her girlfriends.  Otherwise, they’d probably get kicked out for talking during the film.) 

Hanna helpfully suggests that the girls strap a dog collar on Melissa that zaps her ass, whenever she leaves the yard.  And, even though I know she’s kidding, I still think it’s a spectacular idea.  Because if anyone deserves an ASS ZAPPING its Spencer’s poopyhead sister . . .

Then, suddenly, a big ole hole burns into the film that the girls were watching, and the Ghostface Killer from Scream pops out at them.

All the girls, understandably, freak out and wonder whether the theater will refund their money. over this VERY rude interruption of their conversation.  However, Aria, who recently DIED in a Scream film, is particularly disconcerted, by this recent turn of events.


But don’t worry, kiddies!  It’s ALL A DREAM . . . Spencer’s dream, of course.  Sleeping Beauty herself is napping on the couch, when Sweet Sis Melissa barges in and starts groping Poor Spencer, under the guise of “looking for her wedding ring.”

I understand that you are upset, but I promise you that your ring is NOT IN MY CROTCH!”

Melissa is just about to shake Spencer upside down, to see if the ring falls out of  her bra, when her phone vibrates.  It is Mystery Caller!  He (or she) needs to talk to Melissa in private.  But just in case Spencer didn’t know this was a Super Secret Conversation with a Super Secret Person, Melissa LOUDLY tells Mystery Caller that she must take the call upstairs, so that SPENCER CAN’T HEAR.  (Way to be subtle, SIS!)

Check it out, Mystery Caller.   My Baby Sis is picking her nose.”

As Shady Melissa rushes up the stairs, Spencer watches after her, while making The Face . . .

That’s the ONE!

Meanwhile, over in Hanna-land . . .

Mama Marin Gives Good Advice (for once)

“Look at you, being all Wise and Materal.   This is another one of Spencer’s dreams, right?”

Downstairs in the Marin kitchen, Hanna awakens to find her mom and dad engaged in some SERIOUS eye f*&king.  Mama Marin laughs at something Papa le Douche says.  This is also part of the eye-f*&king, as Papa le Douche hasn’t said anything remotely humorous, since before Hanna was born . . .

*insert evil laughter here*

Papa le Douche is on this kick, where he wants to “spend time with his daughter” and “be a dad,” so he offers to drive Hanna to school.  “Ummm . . . no thanks.”  Hanna replies, feeling super awkward and uncomfortable.

Well, THAT was super awkward and uncomfortable.”

After Papa le Douche exits stage left, Hanna calls out her mom for all the eye f*&king she’s been doing.  “What an Eye Slut you are?  Please wear an Eye Condom, next time, so I don’t have to worry about getting Eye Siblings.”  She warns.  (Now, we know the REAL reason Blind Jenna always wears glasses.)

In response, Mama Marin spouts her After School Special Lesson of the Day, “Just because someone hurt us once, doesn’t mean we have to permanently delete them from our phonebook  . . . Things change . . . people grow”  Translation?  *cough Stop Being Such a B*tch to Caleb cough*

Message sent . . . and received.

Later, at school, the PLL girls meet in the bathroom “in secret” for their Daily Pow Wow. 


How many takes do you think it took for them to get THAT right?

The girls discuss what they’ve been doing since their nonexistent tumultuous therapist-induced Friendship Breakup of Two Weeks ago.  Aria has enrolled in a college class to stalk Fitzy keep Fitzy away from Jackie find other animals she can hide in her hair learn how to make pottery. 

“Don’t look now, Aria.  But I think a bird died in your hair.”

This is actually a surprising choice for Aria, considering that, up to this point, she has expressed positively NO interest in ceramics, and a lot of interest in WRITING.  Given all that, wouldn’t it make sense for her to take a creative writing course, instead?

Spencer has been keeping HERSELF busy playing field hockey, fonding Abs Toby, and stalking her sister.  And Emily has been packing for the move we all know she ISN’T going to end up going through with, while NOT watching movies with temporary new girlfriend, Samara. 

Of all the girls, Hanna has taken the breakup the worst.  So bored is Hanna, that she has resorted to stealing hand lotions from the makeup counter again.  FOR SHAME! 


Is it any wonder that Hanna, in her extremely vulnerable state, takes one look at Lucas in his adorable “Nerds love Apple Pie” t-shirt, and immediately wants to jump his adorkable bones re-friend him on Facebook.

“Face it, I’m the only guy on this show who actually gets attention for WEARING clothes.”

By the way, did you know that Lucas and Caleb are now living together?  This is going to save Hanna SO MUCH gas money, when she inevitably starts having sex with them both (sometimes AT THE SAME TIME).  It’s a recession economy, after all. 

Hanna asks Lucas to hang out with her.  And even though she’s broken his heart 1,000 times over, he takes pity on her shrink-sanctioned PLL-lessness, and invites her to yearbook club, after school.    While ostensibly working on the yearbook, matchmaker Hanna can’t help but notice that her future lover the same guy who used to sneak into the hospital to kiss her forehead is now ogling the chick that puts together the Appendix Section of the yearbook.  (You GO Lucas!  Way to make her jealous!)

“Don’t even TRY to fight it.  You will be mine by Episode 12.”

Hanna encourages Lucas to make a go of it with Index Chick.  However, Lucas isn’t exactly feeling up for the challenge.  “You, of all people know my batting average, Hanna,” Lucas remarks.


“I’m so good at girl-getting, I should write a book.”

Now, Lucas has Hanna feeling BOTH subconsciously jealous that he has moved on to another honey, AND super guilty for how she treated him in the past.  (Current Score:  Lucas: 2, Hanna: 0)  So, Hanna approaches Index Chick (her name is “Danielle” by the way),  and pulls the classic Romantic Comedy Film Move, by basically pretending Lucas is this Massively Popular Ladies Man, to whom she, herself, is attracted (Well, half of that is true.), in order to spark Danielle’s interest. 

The plan works, flawlessly.  And the Nerd Who Loves Apple Pie scores a supposedly-coveted date with Index Chick, even though we all KNOW his heart has never really left Hanna’s pocket.  Later, a bewildered Lucas approaches Hanna, wondering why she went through all this trouble to try and get him laid by someone other than herself.  Echoing her mother’s earlier words, Hanna remarks that she doesn’t want to be judged the rest of her life for her biggest mistakes.  “People change,” she explains.  “They grow.”


And that, my friends, was how the student became the teacher.  (It was also Lucas’ triumphant first step toward FINALLY getting inside the Marin Pantalones.)

But lest you think that Hanna has grown up SO MUCH, that she’s not fun anymore, wait until you see what she does at the end of the episode!  You see, Hanna has overheard Papa le Douche fighting with his new fiance about their upcoming nuptials.  She’s also been watching her mother flirt with her dad, like nobody’s business.  And so when Hanna finds an unread text message to her dad from the fiance, apologizing, and expressing her undying devotion to him, she . . . DELETES IT FROM HIS PHONE!

Oh, Hanna, you naughty, naughty girl!  Something tells me THAT decision is going to bite you in the ass BIG TIME, in the not-too-distant future.  Hopefully, by then you will be too busy screwing Lucas and/or Caleb to care.

Speaking of screwed . . .

Swimming with the fishes (and the forgers)

Now that “A” trashed Emily’s harddrive, she’s forced to (gasp) actually use PAPER AND PENCIL, when trying to communicate.   How utterly barbaric!

If you recall, last week, Emily tried desperately to get the Dartmouth Danbury Swim Team recruiter to give her a letter of guaranteed admission / scholarship to the college, so that she wouldn’t have to move to Texas . . . a Dreaded Red State.  The problem, of course, was that all the recruiter was willing to give Emily was a “Maybe” letter, which she knew wasn’t going to be good enough to keep her mom in Rosewood.  So, being the idiot optimistic, and forward thinker that she is, Emily decides to FORGE a more forceful recruitment letter on her own.

Later, in the school parking lot, Emily shows Aria and Hanna her handiwork . . .

“Ummm . . . Emily, I doubt that the college recruiter draws hearts over his ‘i’s” and signs his name with a happy face.”

Aria thinks the whole thing is a terrible idea, and that Emily will undoubtedly get caught.  Hanna, however, thinks Emily is an ABSOLUTE EVIL GENIUS, and is SUPER PROUD of her bestie, for being so deliciously underhanded.


Umm . . . I hate to break it to you Hanna, but the only way YOU are getting into Harvard, is if your mom f*&ks the Dean, on your behalf .  . . On second thought, welcome to the Ivy Leagues, Hanna!

Back at the Fields house, Emily shares an unusually sweet heart-to-heart with her mother.  Apparently, while packing Mrs. Fields (just like the cookies!) has come across some of Emily’s childhood things, and these have caused her to become unusually nostalgic.

“Aww!  Your first diaper is in this box.  Here, smell it!”

In the most welcome Personality Transplant, since Creepy Toby first took off his shirt (and we all suddenly decided he was charming) former Evil Homophobe Mama Fields apologizes to Emily for the pain she must have endured, while having to hide her sexuality from her family.  Emily is touched by her mother’s words, and the two embrace. The exchange ultimately prompts Emily to rip up the faux Dartmouth Danby Promise Letter, and toss it in the trash can.  In hindsight, she probably should have used a shredder . . .

The next day, an excited Emily’s mom comes to her daughter’s room with a letter in her hand.  SURPRISE!  Its from Emily Danby, promising Emily admission to the college, using the EXACT same unbelievably phony words Emily had originally written in her OWN letter.  Understandably freaked out, the  minute her mom leaves the room, Emily starts frantically rummaging through her trashcan to find the original letter fragments. 

They are no where to be found. 

“Wait . .. someone TAPED the letter together, and recopied it?  This “A” sure must have A LOT of time on her hands.”

Having anticipated Emily’s dumpster dive, “A” cleverly left HER OWN little message in Emily’s trashcan, for her to find.  It looked a little something like THIS . . .

Congratulations, PLL, you’ve just cooked up the most bizarrely contrived way possible to keep Emily on the show.  The twenty or so aspiring actresses destined to be cast as her future girlfriends, thank you from the bottom of their heart.  😉

Speaking of contrived encounters . . .

Peekaboo, I see you . . . oh, wait . . . no I don’t

Forget the Opening Dream Sequence.  This is the most frightening animated GIF I have ever laid eyes on!

Over at Hollis College, Fitzy and Aria are engaged in some intense PDA, simply BECAUSE THEY CAN BE! 

This is Fitzy coming up for air, after spending an hour attached to Aria’s tongue . . .

But as we all know, on THIS show, NOBODY gets to makeout in peace.  SOMEONE always has to be watching.  This time, that someone is Fitzy’s VERY PISSY Ex Fiance / Fellow Teacher at Hollis / Facebook Friend, Jackie Molina . . .

Jackie Molina has just updated her Facebook status to: “Researching ways to murder diminutive high school students. . .” /  Jackie has accepted a friend request from “A.”

In pottery class, Aria nearly poops herself, when she finds a a grinning Blind Jenna seated at the pottery wheel, leering at her with supposedly unseeing eyes . . .

“Do you like the piece I’m sculpting?  I call it Toby’s Weiner.”

When the professor asks Aria’s name, she hesitates and says its “Anita.”  I’m guessing “Anita” wasn’t on the class roster, but the professor didn’t seem to care too much.  It’s nice to know that at the “prestigious” Hollis university, you could basically just show up at any class, offer a fake name, and take it for free.  Imagine how much money you would save on getting an education!


Hmmm . . . now that I think about it, I probably should have deepened my voice, and used a man’s name, like Aaron.  That would have really thrown off Blind Jenna.

Back at Fitzy’s house, he and Aria, are engaged in a little post-coital Blind Jenna talk.

Why the abundance of clothing, Fitzy?  Don’t you remember what show you are on?

Fitzy wants Aria to play nice with Blind Jenna, and become her friend, despite the fact that she’s a Creepy Brother F*&ker, who paid a guy to seduce her best friend in order to obtain information about her.  Their conversation reminded me of a similar one the pair had last year, in which Fitzy became obsessed with what a fabulous WRITER Blind Jenna was.  So, let me get this straight, Aria and Blind Jenna are BOTH writers, they both love pottery, AND they are both taking courses at Hollis?

Is Blind Jenna, like Aria’s Evil Twin, or something?

You have to admit, there’s a resemblance there . . .

The next day, at pottery class, Aria has a close call when Jenna trips, and the professor asks “Anita” to help her.  Fortunately, some dude, who’s probably dumb enough to be attracted to Blind Jenna offers to help instead.  And yet, Aria, who isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, decides to stay after class, even though SHE AND BLIND JENNA are the only ones left in there.

Not surprisingly, Blind Jenna once again asks “Anita” for help.  Except now, there’s no horny boy to take Aria’s place.  At Jenna’s request, Aria places a light inside BJ’s ceramic bowl, and puts it on a nearby turntable . . .

Who knew pottery class could be so darn emotional?  Suddenly, Jenna is getting all weepy, remembering the good old days before Aria and co. lit a firecracker in her house while she was raping Abs Toby, blinding her for life when she used to be able to see.  This, of course, makes Aria feel like crap, and probably wish she was at home fondling Fitzy’s naked stomach, instead of Blind Jenna’s ugly ass bowl . . .

Step aside Michaelangelo’s “David” . . . this is Aria’s “Fitzy”

Blind Jenna then starts randomly describing how lights reflected off the water, when she used to go swimming.  She then asks “Anita” to describe for Blind Jenna what her pottery looks like.  Aria basically repeats exactly what Blind Jenna said, “Uhhhh . . . yeah . . . it looks like you swimming . . . or something.”

Recognizing Aria’s voice, Blind Jenna angrily demands that she blow out the candle, leaving the pair alone together in the dark of an empty classroom.  Aria reluctantly complies . . .

Then THIS happens . . .

Just KIDDING!  She’s fine, guys  . . . Blind Jenna didn’t end up killing her . . . yet.

You know who’s LESS than fine though . . . Spencer.

“If you like it, than you should have put a ring on it.”

You GO, Abs Toby!  Shake that ass!

For someone who’s “just getting his GED,” Abs Toby sure shows up at the high school often.  Fortunately, for him, however, Spencer doesn’t seem to mind too much . . .

“This sure beats making out with Blind Jenna.”

Spencer wants Toby to have coffee with her in between classes.   (Really, Spencer?  You have enough time in between classes to have coffee?  What kind of high school is this?)  Unfortunately, Toby is heading off for his weekly excuse to be half naked new job doing yardwork at Facelift Jason’s house. 

Spencer NO LIKEY!  She doesn’t trust Facelift Jason ONE BIT (partly, because she can no longer recognize his face saw the movie Face Off, and it gave her nightmares).

Spencer begs Toby to get a job working for someone who ISN’T possibly a deranged killer.  He’d love to do so, except for the fact that all the people in town who AREN’T deranged killers, think that TOBY killed Facelift Jason’s sister, Alison.  And, therefore, won’t hire him.  He WAS offered a job in Yardley, however, he has no car, and plans to use the cash he gets from Facelift Jason to pay for the used junker he found in the paper.

“Be careful, Toby!  He already stole someone else’s face, hair, clothing, personality and HOME.  He might steal your ABS, if you aren’t careful.”

Later that day, Snoopy Spencer arrives at Facelift Jason’s house, directly after Field Hockey practice, to ogle her hot shirtless and sweaty boyfriend.   But, instead, she finds a not quite shirtless, but still hot and sweaty, Facelift Jason . . .

Though Facelift Jason tries to distract Spencer with his mesmerizing arms of steel, and obnoxiously perfect hair, a wily Spencer still notices someone moving behind the curtains in Facelift Jason’s home, even though he SWEARS no one else is living there but him.  Who IS this mystery person?  Is it Possibly Dead / Possibly a Zombie Creepy Pedo Ian?

Is it Melissa?

Is it Maya, escaped from the PLL Lost Love Interest Vortex?

Perhaps, it could even be Jason 1.0 . . .

Spencer is confused, and freaked out by this development.  And you know what THAT means.  That’s right, my Pretties.  IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER ALI FLASHBACK!


Spencer and Emily are having a sleepover at Spencer’s house, and complaining about how loud Stoner Jason and his pothead friends are partying next door, when a tearful Ali crashes their party.  She HATES Jason, and can’t wait to rat him out to his grandparents, so they cut him out of their will.  At first, Ali seems her usual, confident, bitchy self, but when she approaches the sink, we can see that she’s been crying.  SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED AT THAT PARTY .  . . POSSIBLY VERY BAD . . . and Jason may have had something to do with it.  Ali, eventually shrugs off her rare show of vulnerability, commenting on the poor quality of Spencer’s apples (huh?) 

However, Spencer knows something is UP, as is evidenced by the return of Spencer Face . . .

Now, TOTALLY freaked out, an unusually needy an paranoid Spencer begs her AWFUL sister to stay with her, and protect her from the things that go bump in the night, like she used to back when they were kids.


Poor Spencer, she’s still naive enough to believe her sister is still a human being, and not the Evil Alien from Planet B*tch, she obviously become.  Melissa icily deflects Spencer’s rare attempt at sisterly bonding, threatening her sister NOT to make her choose between her own flesh and blood and the creepy, probably dead, pedophile she married.  The obvious, implication of her words being that she would choose the Pedo, ANYDAY (and twice on Sunday).

So, of course, this is the perfect time for Spencer to find Melissa’s missing wedding ring, which, as it turns out, has been conveniently hiding behind the toaster this whole time!

That’s OK Fitz . . .  I thought it was pretty hilarious too!

Positively INCAPABLE of leaving well enough alone, Stalker Spencer heads to Facelift Jason’s house after school AGAIN.  This time, she is rewarded for her dilligence, and actually DOES find Shirtless and Sweaty Abs Toby there.


Facelift Jason’s there too, and he conveniently mistakes Spencer for Melissa.  When asked about why, he tells her that she’s been sucking his weiner  helping him bury Creepy Pedo Ian’s body  performing pagan rituals involving human sacrifices “bringing him misdelivered mail.”  As if all this wasn’t suspcious enough, Facelift Jason “accidentally” allows one of his garbage bags to open on the floor in front of Spencer and Abs Toby. 

Hot Damn!  That’s a lot of BLOOD and CHINESE FOOD for one person.  “I cut myself when I was ripping off my old face, and putting on this new one,” mumbles Facelift Jason  (Note to Facelift Jason:  Learn how to lie better.)

Now, comes the part in the story when Spencer does the most AWFUL thing we have seen her do, since the beginning of the series.  SHE PAWNS HER OWN SISTER’S WEDDING RING TO GET MONEY TO BUY TOBY HIS CAR!

Now, granted, I don’t like Melissa either.  She’s a GENUINELY AWFUL PERSON.  Plus, I’m pretty sure she has something to do with “A” and/or Ali’s death.  But this is just WRONG with a capital “WRON.”  Now, of course, Spencer planned to somehow buy back the ring, shortly after giving Toby his new/old car for the Yardley job.  But still . . . it seems an unusually cold move for Spencer to make, not to mention STUPID.

I don’t want to be around when Melissa finds out.

So, of course, we all know it’s going to come back to bite her in the butt, don’t we?  Not surprisingly, the last scene of the episode features the infamous GLOVED HAND buying back the ring from the pawn shop. 

No glove, NO LOVE, Spencer!  I hope you’ve invested in some good life insurance . . .

Oh . . . and I almost forgot to mention the best part . . . MY WREN’ is FINALLY BACK!

On one of their weekly Stakeouts in the Bushes, our PLL girls found My Future Husband, clad in sexy scrubs, meeting Melissa, late at night, and delivering to her VERY LARGE quantities of drugs (For whom?  Ian?  Melissa herself?  Facelift Jason?)

My sentiments exactly, Spencer!  That’s one fine piece of meat!

And, on that note, I bring my recap to an end.  But feel free to check out THIS promo for next week’s PLL installment, which promises, among other things, MORE Wren (Yesssssssss!  YIPPEE!), a COMPLETELY shirtless Facelift Jason (Oh, he’ll get along in Rosewood just fine), and the return of  .  . . Dead Alison?

That’s right, my Pretties!  Things are getting GOOD!  See you next week!

[][Fangirls Forever]


Filed under Pretty Little Liars

15 responses to “No Rest for the Wicked – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “My Name is Trouble”

  1. sassyfran

    Awesome as usual hon 🙂 I love your recaps I don’t even try to imitate you LOL our styles are so different but I Love the way you do your thing 🙂 I see we did disagree on how bad it was for Spencer to take the ring to the pawn shop. I know it was wrong but Melissa soooo deserved it. It will surely bite Spencer and /or Toby in the butt though and its really too bad. Melissa is like so wrong all the time now its almost hard to watch her being evil. They really need to find some redeeming value for her before she becomes a mere shadow of herself. I keep telling myself I have to watch the beginning of Season One because I do think I missed some things even besides the stuff with Wren oh and Hanna shoplifting is barely a memory to me. I do love your gifs and media like with the squirrel and I forgot that site you told me about for pictures my stupid bookmarks are hard to open now on the new firefox. Can you please give me the link again? Thanks.

    Thanks for sharing such an awesome recap. 🙂

    • Hey sassyfran!

      Here’s the link you were seeking:

      If you scroll down to the “Category” section, you will find both the promotional shots that ABC puts out each week, as well as individual “Captures” from each episode. (The site tends to post those the morning after the episode airs. As a recapper, I just adore the “one-stop shopping” aspect of this website. In the “old days” I used to have to stop by each week before the episode, not to mention screencap all the promos on YouTube. Doing this takes A LOT less time.

      You bring up a really good point about the show automatically assuming that its viewers are familiar with everything that’s happened in Season 1. Granted, they show SOME of that stuff in the “previously on” part of the episode, but not always enough to give you a clear picture. Then again, perhaps, this is just the marketing department’s “crafty” way of getting us to purchase the PLL Season 1 DVD. 😉

      I feel your pain about Melissa. She has been written fairly two-dimensionally, of late. In fact, the only time I’ve really seen her exhibit genuine concern for her sister was the scene from the Season 2 premiere in which she came into Spencer’s room, showed her the sonogram, and promised not to rat her out to her parents regarding her illicit rendezvous with Toby. Since then, it’s pretty much been all Crazy Nanny Carrie, all the time. 🙂 And yet, Melissa is still Spencer’s sister, which was why I was shocked by the wedding ring pawn. Because, even if your family members suck, they are still family, right?

      As I mentioned in my comment on your spectacular recap (great job, by the way), I think its the mark of a truly good show that two viewers can interpret a single scene in two different ways, and enter into , an in-depth discussion over it. In other words, thanks so much for talking PLL with me. 🙂 You rock, and (most of the time, anyway) so does this show. 😉

      • sassyfran

        Crazy Nanny Carrie, aka Melissa aka Mrs. Paul Wesley, hopefully won’t be type cast by these shows LOL that would suck because she makes an Awesome crazy character YIKES 🙂 but hopefully she can do more than that in the future. It’s kind of like so far Jensen Ackles, one of my Supernatural male crushes has been well 99% of the time been in paranormal shows and I believe he is a good actor with a good bit of potential to reach outside the genre. It might be one of those how good things can go really bad. Not sure that made any sense. Oh as far as family members well that is not a ruler for how people treat one another a lot of times especially on television shows. I mean look at Vampire Diaries, Damon killed Jeremy and is not professing his love to Elena, we will never know if he truly saw that ring on Jeremy’s finger or not. It is definitely all Subjective as far as relatives 🙂

  2. Now I can actually write in a comment on a recap, without having to run and blow my nose every 2 seconds. Hallelujah! I thought that sinus infection would never go away. So, now that I can breathe through my nose instead of my mouth, I can write a very LONG comment.
    On the topic of Vampire Diaries, one of my many lunatic friends (Hello! She’s friends with me! What do you expect? Her to be normal?) brought all of season one to my house so then we could have a VD marathon. By the end of the third disk, I loved it, but then my sister said something like, “I think it beats PLL.” Then I went on strike for a day. The next day, I finished the first season and I was hooked. But PLL will always be my favorite show and any other show that comes along will have to take the backseat. There can only be one Shirtless (or recently in a robe) English teacher/professor Ezra in my life. Then again. There can only be one REALLY hot bad-boy-yet-sweet vampire (*cough* Damon *cough*) in my life too. I just wish Maya/Emily/Bianca Lawson would get on a broom and fly away, because I am really getting sick of seeing her on every teen drama I watch.
    I saw Doctor Wren for 30 seconds, but I was still EXTREMELY happy that he’s back. Especially since YOU have been waiting for him for over a year to return from the Lost Vortex. I bet you were hopping up in down when you saw him. And next week he gets some speaking parts, too, instead of being Mr. Appear-in-the-dark-to-give-drugs-to-Crazy-Nanny-Carrie-in-the-middle-of-the-night.
    One of my other lunatic friends told me that Lucy Hale died in Scream 4 and I was like GRRRRRRR. So, now I see a GIF of her bleeding to death, and I’m like, “I didn’t see this fourth installment because……?” I mean, Lucy has become one of my favorite actresses and I wanted to see Scream 4 so badly, but, unfortunately, horror movies do exactly that to me. THEY HORRIFY ME and I can’t sleep for two weeks.
    Melissa never ceases to surprise me. I mean, I get why she wants to find her wedding ring, but why tear up the house in the middle of the night for it? If it had been me, I would have waited until daylight so then I could easily get some of my crew to help me look for it. So, where is the reality of it?
    I really hope that in the near future Lucas and Hanna will become a couple. I will never give up on the Luanna ‘ship, which I have been rooting for ever since they first met. Besides Ezzy & Aria and Spencer & Toby, they are probably 3rd place for the “Most Perfect Couple on PLL.” And I think that Hanna (It’s weird that every time that someone is like, “Hanna!”, I’m like, “What?” Because like I said in February that is my first name.) is trying to make up for being such a Heartbreaker and she owes Lucas for getting her Johnny Depp Tent Pal back into Rosewood as well for all the times she tiptoed around him and ended up stabbing him in the back. So, maybe Miss. Appendix/Danielle Something will be a good distraction from his infatuation with Hanna, until he makes a plan to get the Back to the Future car and send Caleb to the Jurassic Park era, so then he can have some “bonding” time with hungry dinosaurs. (This is how I plan to get rid of Facelift Jason, after he tries to make a move on Aria. If Ezzy doesn’t kill him first, a bunch of Ezria fans will, lol. To see the full plan and maybe to join in the Revolution, follow this link: The more support we have, the easier it will be to get rid of him!)
    I don’t know what I love better, Ezra in a robe, or rubbing Ezra and Aria’s relationship in Jackie’s face. I think it’s a tie. When I saw Jackie’s face creepily watching Ezzy and Aria tongue one another goodbye, I was like Michael Kelso from That 70’s Show and went, “BURN!” I guess karma finally caught up to her. If she’s crazy enough to dump the hotness that is the Fitz, then she deserves to be tortured like every other Ezra fan is every time we watch Ezra and Aria swap spit.
    As for Ezra in a robe, I was on my hands and knees, pleading, “God, please, send Ezra in a robe from the sky and into my house. On second thought, forget the robe. Just get Shirtless Ezra to me where I can “get to know him better.”” LOL. I am such a Fitzy Loving Dork. I need to email my principal and get Ezzy teaching at my high school, as well as Alaric from VD, who I have loved from the first time I laid my eyes on him.
    It’s about time that Abs Toby shed the t-shirt! And covered in dirt and sweat, shoveling, just made it even better! I was like, “Though I will always love Ezra’s Naked Stomach, Toby sure does make me want to change that.” And then when he got his truck from Detective Spencer and said, “I love you so much.” I was like AWWWWWWWWW. I feel bad that I used to think that he was creepy. Up until I saw him cry behind the dumpster (where Spencer started to feel sympathetic for him) or more recently, him shirtless, asleep, abs jutting out of his stomach, in the hotel room.
    As always, hilarious recap. BTW, I am now a PERMANENT reader of yours, since I now have a “TV Recappers Anonymous” tab on my Toolbar. It’s custom! Yay! See ya next week!
    A gift from me to you: I have to admit, that this face is pretty darn adorable!

    • Hey Hannah!

      I’m SO glad to hear that you are feeling better! Seeing Shirtless Fitzy must have done wonders for your health. They should really consider bottling that, and selling it to the masses.

      I love your summary of the exchange you shared with your sister, regarding the merits of TVD versus PLL, and Fitzy versus Damon. Not to worry. In the iconic words of Vampire Katherine, “It’s OK to love them both . . . I did.” 😉

      SQUEE! And thank you SO much for the BEAUTIFUL WREN promotional still from next week’s episode. I love the vulnerable look in his puppy dog eyes, when he tells Spencer that he can’t help her with the Melissa Situation, even though you can tell that he REALLY wants to do so. So, what if he deals drugs, and makes out with his fiance’s underage sisters. My Wren is a GOOD MAN, beneath it all. And you can’t keep a good man down! 😉 That being said, now that he’s back, I do hope they let him stick around a while longer, and keep him far away from that Lost Boy Vortex he fell into last season.

      Regarding Lucy Hale and Scream 4, not to give anything away, but, if it makes you feel any better, depending on how you interpret her “death scene” from the film, you MIGHT actually be able to say that she is one of the film’s FEW survivors 😉 If you are curious as to what I mean by that, feel free to Google “opening scene Scream 4.” But don’t do it, if it will give you think it will give you nightmares. 🙂

      Melissa’s waking up Spencer and putting a flashlight in her face to look for her wedding ring WAS super selfish, and, therefore, entirely consistent with the Melissa we have come to know and hate, since Season 1. Then again, is it possible that Melissa was ACTUALLY looking for something else that night, something she needed more immediately, and used the wedding ring as a cover up? It remains to be seen.

      Like you, I ADORED the Luanna scenes from this week’s episode, and genuinely DO believe that Hanna’s interest in Lucas’ love life will mark the beginning of her realizing her romantic feelings for him. After all, jealousy is a major aphrodisiac. Nothing makes the heart hurt more than desiring something that SOMEONE else has. Just ask Jackie Molina! 😉

      You know what I think I loved more than Fitzy’s robe in that Ezria scene you mentioned (part of me, kept hoping a strong wind would come and blow it away, I you catch my drift), the adorable way, Ezra, pulled Aria’s body close to his own on the couch, so that he could caress her face. *sigh*

      Speaking of Ezria, I love that you are petitioning to destroy Facelift Jason. I suspect Jason 1.0 feels the same way about that Body and Boyfriend Snatcher that you do. Perhaps, you can get HIM to sign the petition as well. 🙂

      Thanks again for your sweet, and often super funny, PLL commentary. I always adore talking PLL with you, and am beyond honored to be a part of your computer dashboard. 🙂 See you next week! 😉

    • Dollars

      Don’t Hate because Bianca Lawson is doing her thanggg! I like seeing her on TV, she is straight up talented. I am surprised she took the role of Maya but she still is good!

      sorry about the name, couldn think of something

      • Hey Dollars! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

        What’s your favorite Bianca Lawson role? I’m only really familiar with her roles on PLL, TVD and Dawson’s Creek? However, I know she’s been in a lot more films than that.

      • Dollars

        Well Save the last Dance she played the perfect antagonist, I remember she played Sister Sister and Smart Guy. The Steve Harvey Show…pretty much a lot of shows in the 90s, especially on BET.
        Its just recently that I have noticed her on ABCfamily (Secret Life/ PLL)

        Lol I just think she has found the fountain of youth and is good at what she does. I hope that helped

  3. Team Ezra Fitz

    I LOVE how when you said, “Insert Evil Laugh Here”, the song Feel Good Inc by the Gorillaz started to play on my iPod! The beginning laugh there definitely sounds evil! PERFECT TIMING! xD

    • LOL. I love that song! 🙂 It’s almost as though my recap had a soundtrack. Very cool!

      By the way, my Pretties. I just wanted to apologize in advance as my PLL recap might be a day late this week. I was away this weekend, which put me one day behind on all my recaps. Sorry for the inconvenience! 🙂 See you soon!

  4. eman

    i think i was too happy for wrens return to notice most of the episode. I CANT BELIEVE HES BACK. ❤

    • Hi eman! You and me both! And, if the promos for next week are any indication, our sexy Brit is coming back in a big way, next week. I can’t wait! 😉

  5. :)

    Great Recap!

    To be honest i am not digging this new Jason, like you said his personality is heading toward Toby of season one. And plus I don’t like how they changed him to be more “younger” looking than Jason 1.0, but in reality he is at least 24 (along with Ian and Melissa) which would make him still older than Ezra who is at the most 22 (based on if he got the teaching job right out of college if based on a 4 year term). Woww I am just being a hater!

    Anywaysss Just being honest, I have a feeling he is going to be a new love interest for Aria, and to be honest I feel like that is another 10 minutes wasted on not trying to help the viewers find A.

    Lucas actually is super adorable, and when i saw him strutting in that cute t-shirt i fell in love for the outcast-ed nerd 🙂
    Spencer and Toby are to die for, and his body was just the icing on the cake, I love how they rubbed his body with dirt to make him look DiRtY :)yummmmmmm

    Ohh I have to give props to “A” she is just getting good! I told my step mom that whenever Emily makes that face/smirk I get a dollar, and thanks to “A”‘s new methods of torture I earned almost $20. If you think about it, the face…or Spenc face could be a drinking game.

    Kjewls keep up the fantastic work, one thing I love is reading your recaps, especially when I don’t understand the show with their constant switch ups, new relationships, and the great opportunities to make cash off the characters faces. I never noticed the faces till I read your blogs.

    Oh before I leave, I have to say something negative about Ezra just because I do not like him but to be honest i thought he looked pretty sexii with those brown pants he was wearing during the episode (i think they wore brown)
    Keep Writing 🙂 : )

    • Thanks so much for your super sweet words, :). I’m blushing,

      I definitely agree with you that some of the newer PLL plotlines seem more like “stalling” on the writers’ part, so they don’t have to come out and tell us who “A” is. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like “love interest stories that always somehow lead to hot male nakedness ;)” as much as the next girl, but the Facelift Jason / Aria tale seems like it might end up being redundant, and not entirely necessary.

      That being said, I can stand to see more Wren on my screen, anyday. And if the way to achieve that is with yet another Toby / Spencer / Wren love triangle, I am TOTALLY in! 🙂

      LOL. Just think, somewhere on the PLL production crew, there is some lucky girl who’s sole job it is to rub dirt on the PLL boys’ bodies, when they are supposed to be “dirty” on the show. Now, that’s a job I would PAY to have!

      Speaking of shirtless boys, or rather, shirt-ed ones, I found Lucas’ t-shirt!

      GREAT IDEA about the PLL Funny Face drinking game. You know, one of these days, I am going to have to write a PLL Drinking Game post. I’ll be sure to give you full credit, of course. 😉

      • :)

        WHooooo! The Shirts 😀
        I can now order one for my birthday (aww that is so sad I have to order in my own present)!!!!

        And thanks for providing me credit, much respect and smiles


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