Old Habits Die Hard (But Creepers Die Harder) – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Blind Dates”

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Doctor Wren has officially won the award for Person I Would Most Want to Be Hugging, When I Learned that My Sister’s Creepo Fiance (Who I Thought Was Already Dead) May Have Offed Himself for Killing My Best Friend.  Congratulations, Dr. Wren!  Come and claim your prize!  (It’s ME!)

Welcome back, My Pretties!  The title of this episode is actually pretty fitting, in that the hour was all about “flying blind,” and venturing into unknown territory . . .   And yet, I must say that, given the title, it was a bit strange that ONE particular character did not appear at all . . .

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“HELLO . . . the episode is called BLIND Dates . . .  I’m BLIND Jenna.  Like, DUH!”

In addition to lacking the unique creepiness of Blind Jenna, “Blind Dates” also: got us up close and personal with my FAVORITE PLL BOY IN THE WORLD . . .

“I’m right here, Baby!”

 . . . showed us how Facelift Jason’s body has changed since the “operation” . .  .

 

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. . . treated us to a free therapy session . . .

I”m listening.”

 . . . and taught us just how much Zombie Creepy Pedo Ian likes (his own) BRAAAAAAAAIIIINNS!

So, what are we waiting for?   Let’s go on some “Blind Dates!”

Guard your Pawn (and other things I’ve learned from Pretty Little Liars)

“You are a LIAR!  I am SO reporting you to the Shady Pawnbroker’s Association of America.”

Those of us who were a bit scandalized by Spencer’s surprisingly cold decision to pawn off her own sister’s wedding ring for cash to buy her boyfriend a car, were probably a bit relieved to know that she at least PLANNED to buy it back, shortly thereafter.  Now, don’t ask me HOW Spencer got the money to do that so quickly. 

Pretty Little Escort Service?

It doesn’t really matter, anyway.  Because, as we recall from last week, Gloved Hand SOMEHOW convinced the pawnbroker that Spencer was lying about ownership of the ring.  And then, HE OR SHE took it off the pawnbroker’s hands.  How Gloved Hand was able to do that remains a mystery.  Did this person have, by chance, a receipt for the original ring’s purchase?  Did he or she simply pay the guy off?  Or is “A,” by chance, a vampire with strange compulsion powers, who can make people do his or her evil bidding, without argument?

Whatever the reason, when Spencer returns to the pawn shop, Shady Pawn Broker Dude ends up giving her the MOST EXPENSIVE RUSTY HORSESHOE EVER MADE, claiming never to have seen the ring AT ALL!  (Remember the horseshoe, as it will be important later.)

Outside in Shadytown, the PLL girls are admiring a literary reference from The Great Gatsby .  . .

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Don’t you love when PLL rewards you for being a nerd? 🙂

Not only are the watchful eyes in the billboard, a take off on the book’s cover, the creepy advertisement itself comes right out of a passage from the famous novel, which, if I recall, the girls read in Mr. Fitz’s class, a few episodes back.

Spencer rushes outside, making her Spencer Face, and having a hissy fit about the loss of her sister’s ring.

Hmmm . . . maybe if I pawn Toby’s car, I can get the ring back.”

The girls comfort her briefly, before rushing home to pretend they HAVEN’T been “secretly” hanging out with one another every second of the day, against their lame therapist’s wishes.

As they are leaving, they all get yet another text from “A.”  Something about diamonds being a girl’s best friend.

Hey Aria’s Mom . . . ever hear of the term absence makes the heart grow fonder?  I didn’t think so . . .

So, let me get this straight.  In the matter of about a week, Aria’s mom has gone from living elsewhere, to boinking her husband in secret, to moving back home, to TEACHING ARIA’S ENGLISH CLASS?  Talk about too close for comfort!

I guess Aria will have to find another way to get “extra credit” now.

I don’t know.  I just find it strange that out of ALL the classes Mama Montgomery could teach at school, the administration decides to give her ARIA’S English class.  Granted, Fitzy had recently vacated the position.  But still . . . couldn’t the school have shuffled the faculty around a bit, to prevent this inevitable awkwardness from happening?  Just sayin’ . . .

Now, Mom seems to always be on poor Aria’s ASS, 24-7 . . . telling her not to hang out with her PLL friends EVEN on school grounds, forcing her to meet up with her bratty little brother after school to “give him the keys,” giving her dating advice.  Seriously!  It’s enough to make a girl want to rebel, by screwing a guy seven years her senior. 😉

Speaking of Bratty Little Brother . . .

Aria Gets Blackmailed . . . Reminisces About Her “Goth” Days

 “Look at me  .  . . looking all angsty, and BAD ASS with my pink hair, and my chains, and my medium-sized cup of fat free frozen yogurt with sprinkles . . .”

Aria is on a mission to rescue Bratty Little Brother Mike from The Darkside.  After all, she knows what it’s like to be there.  Back when Aria had (gasp) PINK HAIR she was SUPER “dark.”  So, when Aria heads to find her Bratty Little Brother on the basketball court, and learns he HASN’T PLAYED IN MONTHS . . .

 .  . . Aria is suspicious.  And yet, she is not quite suspicious enough that she feels she doesn’t have time to flirt with a Shirtless Facelift Jason, who, apparently, still plays basketball with high school kids, despite having graduated quite some time ago.  LAME!

Here’s the thing about Facelift Jason.  He has a great body, certainly.  (The comb-over hairstyle could use a bit of work though.)  But he definitely seems like one of those guys who’s forever stuck in the past. 

Forget for a moment that he’s hanging out at the high school shooting hoops, when he should be . . . I don’t know . . . trying to find a REAL job.  Observe the way he compares himself to Aria’s younger brother, by telling Aria that HE TOO used to lie to his parents, and ditch his sister on multiple occasions to do VERY BAD THINGS.  Then, he “flatters” Aria, by telling her that he thinks the pink hair she had, back when she was 12 or 13, totally turned him on, despite the fact that he was probably about 18 at that time, and . . . well . . . that’s just creepy.

Aria doesn’t seem to mind too much though . . .

Well . . . considering how expensive plastic surgery can be, I’m thinking Facelift Jason has more money than . . . say . . . a guy who teaches at Hollis.  Date HIM, and I can buy all the pink hairdye I want!”

Now, I know . . . I know . . .  there is supposed to be a GREATER age difference, between Aria and Fitzy, and Aria and Facelift Jason.  (This is part of the reason they made the casting change, in the first place.)  The DIFFERENCE, of course, is that Fitzy didn’t know Aria, back when she was in diapers, and Facelift Jason did.   You see what I’m getting at here?

When Aria arrives home, Bratty Little Brother surprises her, by acting all evil and shady. 

Bratty Little Brother basically blackmails Aria to keep a secret from their parents the fact that, for the past few months, he has been mutilating small woodland creatures, when he’s supposed to be practicing his jump shot.  He does this by threatening to tell Ma and Pa Montgomery that Aria has been hanging out with the PLL’ers, even though she promised not to do so.  (But, honestly, if these parents haven’t figured that out by now, they don’t deserve to procreate.)

Watching Bratty Little Brother “act out,” because his Dad screwed his assistant, and his parents were split up for all of two seconds, I couldn’t help but be reminded of another little brother, who similarly “acted out, did drugs, backtalked his Big Sis, and was generally “up to no good,” at the beginning of his television series . . .

(Coincidentally, I think Goth Jeremy and Goth Aria would make an ADORABLE couple.)

The difference, of course, is that Jeremy had a REALLY GOOD REASON to be angsty and pissed off at the world.  Both his parents DIED AT THE SAME TIME.  Let’s face it, that SUCKS THE BIG ONE. 

Douchebag-in-Training

I just have a bit of difficulty garnering sympathy for a kid, who comes from relatively wealthy, generally loving, parents (annoying as they may be) that are willing to put aside their differences, in order to provide stability for their teenage children.  I mean, teens rebel for all sorts of reasons.  It’s kind of a right of passage.  But for Bratty Little Brother to blame HIS rebellion his parents seems like a bit of a cop out to me.

That, being said, who knows?  Maybe he will end up being “A.”

Meanwhile, in Emilyville . . .

Why Samara is Officially My Favorite of Emily’s Girlfriends!

“Don’t worry, Emily!  I won’t accidentally leave my pot-filled bookbag at your house, so that my parents ship me off to de-gaying camp, or try to drown you in the pool, or start dating Boring Sean . . .”

Sometimes I wonder if Samara actually ATTENDS her school at all!  Because, as she mentioned to Emily, after her swim meet, she DOESN’T attend Rosewood prep.  And yet, I’ve seen her wandering around the school hallways more than PLL Significant Other Vortex Resident, Little Orphan Bitchy . . .

Samara wants to congratulate Emily on winning YET ANOTHER swim meet, which Emily seems to do at least once every episode.  She also wants to congratulate her on her acceptance to Danby.  The latter congratulations, of course, make Emily feel like crap.  After all, she just got a package from “Danby” . . .

Get it?  The “A” Team – Har de har har.

The fact that Emily’s mom is being all nice, and non-homophobic, for a change, just makes Emily feel even WORSE for lying to her.   Emily’s mom even goes so far as to invite Samara over for a Celebration Dinner, which Samara gratefully accepts. 

But still, Samara senses Emily’s discomfort with the whole situation, and asks her what’s up.  While, Emily can’t conceivably tell her new girlfriend that she is being stalked by some omnipotent creature named “A,” who won’t allow her family to move away to Texas, she IS honest with her, about the fact that SHE wrote the Danby scholarship / acceptance letter, not the swim team recruiter.  What I love about Samara is that she is completely unfazed by and nonjudgmental of her girlfriend’s confession.  Rather, she simply reassures her that everything will work itself out in the end.

Is it just me?  Or does Emily look like she’s wearing A LOT of makeup, for someone who supposedly just got out of a pool?

Unlike Emily’s two previous girlfriends, who were SOCIAL disasters around Emily’s parents (Remember Maya, and the “I thought you ate fish” Dinner from Hell?), Samara effortlessly charms Mama Fields, reminiscing with her about the unique joys of scrapbooking.  But Samara doesn’t REALLY prove her worth as a member of Team PLL, until she stops Emily from confessing about the letter.  “I told Emily she should wait until senior year to accept her offer from Danby.  Plenty of other scholarship offers will be made to her, between now and then.  So, she shouldn’t be too hasty in choosing a college.”  Samara says more or less!  (GENIUS!)

Yep, I’m that good.”

Emily’s mom buys the load of bull poop Samara is selling, hook, line, and sinker.  And Emily, of course, though still nervous about her future, is beyond grateful.  (In other words, I’m thinking SOMEONE is going to be getting extremely lucky tonight! ;))

Hanna Experiments with Multiple Personality Disorder / Wins Award for Best Wingwoman EVER!

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Like most of the parents on PLL (with the exception of Spencer’s asshat favorite-playing parents), Hanna’s mom, who used to be the most dysfunctional mom on the block (sexying up detectives, stealing from old ladies, etc.), is trying her hand at “responsible parenting.”  She does this by demanding that her only daughter attend a private therapy session with Dr. Feel Bad herself, Anne Sullivan, so that she can “cope with the loss of Alison.”

“So, basically, now that you’ve required us all to have separate sessions with you, you get paid four times as much, right?  Clever!”

During the first session, Hanna says nothing.  She’s pissed off that she has to be there in the first place, and doesn’t want to give Dr. Feel Bad the satisfaction of hearing her pour her heart out.  Before Hanna leaves, however, Dr. Feel Bad makes a comment that sticks with her.  She tells Hanna that Hanna has not yet “let go” of Alison from her life, and that this has kept her from healing.

“That will be $250, please.”

At school, Hanna runs into Lucas, who is so nervous about his upcoming date with Danielle that he makes THIS face . . .

He kind of looks like a cartoon character here.  Am I right?

Lucas complains to Hanna that his nervousness has thrown him “completely off his game.” 

“Lucas, you don’t have any game,” Hanna remarks.

(Hey Hanna, that’s not true!  Lucas has plenty of game!  And besides, he’s SETH COHEN-Y!  And that makes him “stealth.”)

A freaked out Lucas threatens to cancel the date, if Hanna doesn’t come with him.  And since Hanna refuses to be a third wheel, he suggests she bring Caleb along.

In that case, I have a GREAT idea as to where the First Date should be!

I really do love the softer side that Lucas always seems to brings out of Hanna, whenever they are together.  She might not be traditionally attracted to him . . . yet.  But she definitely cares about him, in an almost maternal way.  And I can tell you first hand, that this kind of caring, can blossom into attraction, while you are looking in the other direction. 

I’m also enjoyed the unexpected bromance between seeming polar opposites Caleb and Lucas.  Some might argue that Caleb is only “pretending” to care about Lucas’ sex life, in order to get back Hanna’s panties.   But I choose to believe that the brotherly feelings Caleb has toward the guy who brought him back to Rosewood to “make Hanna happy” are genuine.

Where’s your food, Caleb?  Too lovesick to eat?  Or are you just afraid that putting certain things in your mouth will destroy your “street cred?”

What I do NOT buy, however, is Caleb’s blase “yeah, I guess I’ll do it,” attitude, when Hanna agrees to take Caleb with her on Lucas’ now-double date.  Inside, you just KNOW he is doing THIS . . .

On the date with Danielle, Lucas is every bit as awkward as Caleb and Hanna fear he will be.  And the fact that Hanna keeps hovering over the couple like a mommy, certainly doesn’t help matters.

“Aren’t we a bit old to have a chaperone?”

Maybe it’s just the Hanna/Lucas shipper in me, but I DO NOT LIKE Danielle, with her perma-b*tchface, and general lack of smileyness.  If I was on a date with Lucas, you could bet I would be smiling.  I mean, he’s a FUN GUY who wears COOL T-Shirts!  What’s not to like?

And yet, I DO like how Danielle seems to sense the unresolved sexual tension between Hanna and Lucas, in a way that the future couple themselves DOES NOT.  Danielle insists that Hanna “still” has the hots for Lucas, which is why she keeps staring at them, instead of paying attention to HER OWN date.  When Danielle goes to the bathroom, Lucas rushes to Caleb and Hanna, and tells them what Danielle said.  Things aren’t looking good for our fabulous foursome.  Until . . . Hanna gets an idea . . .

She tells Caleb to put his arm around Hanna, and act coupley with him.  Caleb gladly complies with the request.  And, when he does it, you can tell just how smitten with our Pretty Little Liar he truly has become . . .

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Hanna, of course, seems more interested in Lucas’ date, than she is in her own.  On one hand, she looks pleased as punch that her plan worked, smiling benevolently, as Danielle grabs Lucas’ hand.  And yet, there is a specific moment, in which Lucas and Hanna both look at one another, as each is fondling their respective date.  In that moment, something we haven’t seen before between these two is clearly evident . .  . jealousy.

After the date, Lucas stops by Hanna’s house to thank her for being so generous with her time and wingwoman abilities.  He tells her how far she has come from being Alison’s lapdog.  It’s a back-handed compliment, for sure.  But Hanna appreciates it, nonetheless.  And it gives her enough pause to make another appointment with Dr. Feel Bad . . .

“I’m going to be RICHHHHHH!”

Gosh, if therapy was even HALF as universally helpful, and fast-working as they make it seem on television, there would be NO mental illness in the world . . . well .  . . except maybe multiple personality disorder.  Within minutes of arriving in therapy, Hanna is having an in-depth conversation with an empty chair.  (Because THAT’S not crazy at all!)

Of course, SHE doesn’t see an empty chair.  Hanna sees Alison.  And, in her mind, Alison is answering her back, being just as snide and bitchy as she was, back when she was alive.

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“Alison you were the best friend I ever had, and that meant a lot to me .  . You meant a lot to me . .  But you were also the worst enemy I ever had.  And I cant believe it took me this long to realize that,” Hanna begins, all healthy and well-adjusted sounding (except for . . . you know .  . . the fact that she is TALKING TO A CHAIR).

Ghost Alison uses the very same tricks to attempt to keep Hanna under her thumb that REAL Alison used, back when she was alive.   She tells her that Hanna is only popular, because Alison made her so.  She tells her that all the PLL girls will eventually abandon her, and that she will become Hefty Hanna again.  And finally, like an emotionally abusive girlfriend, she tells Hanna that SHE is the only one who truly understands Hanna.

The only difference is that THIS time, Hanna isn’t listening.  “You are gone!  And I am SO over missing you!”  Hanna exclaims triumphantly.

And POOF . . . she’s cured!

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for Dr. Feel Bad, who returns to the office in the evening, to find it completely ransacked.

The wall clock has been knocked off the wall.   And, if the time it was broken is any indication, the break-in happened at 6:05 p.m., just minutes after Hanna left Dr. Feel Bad’s office . . .

Clearly, this is “A’s” handiwork, as signified by the very A-like graffiti spray painted on Dr. Feel Bad’s wall.

The police investigating the break-in tell Dr. Feel Bad that there is no sign of forced entry, making Hanna look pretty guilty for the act.

And yet, us PLL fans know that “A” has broken into this office before to put Fitzy’s diploma on the wall.  There’s a good chance that he or she, at some point, stole and made a spare key to Dr. Feel Bad’s office.   “A” may have even been listening to Hanna’s breakthrough therapy session, which would have undoubtedly made the stalker unhappy about the control she was losing over one of her Pretty Little Liars.

The plot thickens . . .

WRENNNNNNN . .  . and Dead (possibly illiterate) Ian

“This sure beats hanging from a bell tower.”

Remember how I said Spencer’s parents suck this season?  How about when Spencer comes home and finds a note on her door from her Mom that says, “take care of your sister.”  Does this woman KNOW her own kids?  Because, if she did, she would realize that was pretty much an invitation to murder.  Just sayin . . .

Anywhoo . . . Detective Spencer is on the loose again.  Her investigation leader her to  . . . of all people . . . DR. WREN!

I love how Spencer is so territorial of the Hookup Buddy she hasn’t swapped spit with in WAY TOO LONG that she promptly dispatches of the Too Perky Looking Nurse walking at his side.  “Could you . . . like .  . . NOT BE HERE right now,” she tells Perkypants!

That’s right, WOMAN!  Get your candy-striping mitts off My Honey!

Spencer wants to know what sort of things Wren and Melissa have been up to these late nights.  Wren admits that he is giving drugs and medical supplies to his ex-fiance for HER husband.  “Ian tried to KILL ME!”  Spencer explains.

“Are you OK?”  Wren asks hilariously.

“No . . . I’m dead now, and you are talking to a ghost.  But thanks for asking,” replies Spencer.  (Sorry . . . that’s what I would have said to Wren after ripping off his clothing and having my way with him five times.)

*sigh*

Apparently, “Ian” told Melissa that he would only tell her his whereabouts, if she brought the drugs.  (Talk about a SWELL husband!  This one’s a keeper, Crazy Nanny Carrie!)  At first, Wren refuses to help Spencer find Ian, because he doesn’t want Spencer to get hurt.  “Everytime I get involved with you and your sister, people get hurt,” exclaims Wren.  (Well .  . . in their defense, Sexy . . . you WERE digging around both of their mouths for gold.)

Back at the Guest House, Detective Spencer snoops around, while Melissa is in the shower, and finds a bag packed with both men’s and women’s clothing, and Ian’s passport . . .

When Spencer is almost caught by Melissa, she hides behind a tree, and makes THAT FACE again . . .

Eventually, my Lover Boy reconsiders, and decides to help Spencer.  Cleverly, he calls Melissa, and tells her that he needs to see Ian immediately, as, based on the symptoms she described, he may have a Staph Infection.  Wren then calls Spencer, so that she and her pals can follow Wren and Melissa to Ian’s location.  It’s the barn.  (SURPRISE!)

Just outside, Spencer hears Melissa, scream.   So, she and the girls rush in.  Once there, they find Melissa in hysterics in Wren’s arms . . .

That’s when they see it . .  . Ian’s dead body.  He’s DEFINITELY DEAD this time!  There’s a gun right where he is positioned, and a bloody bullet wound in his head that may or may not be fresh.  On the wall of the barn, a horseshoe is missing . . . a horseshoe similar to the one Spencer picked up from the pawnshop.  (I smell a setup!)

From Julian Morris and Torrey Devitto to the PLL girls, the acting in this intense scene is flawless.  Everyone looks understandably horrified, by what they’ve found.  And, for me, the scene accomplished the impossible.  It made me feel sorry for Melissa!

But then, I caught sight of that ridiculous suicide note, and I knew that something was rotten in Rosewood.

Creepy Pedo Ian may have been a lot of things, but he WASN’T stupid, an over-achiever like Melissa wouldn’t have gotten involved, if he was.  And this letter looks and sounds like it was written by a 10-year old.  At least, that’s what I thought at first, until I read this ingenious post on IMDB, linking every line of this note, to a previous text or letter “A” sent the girls.   You can check it out for yourself here.

To me, it seems pretty obvious that Ian died in the Bell Tower, and that “A” has been the one texting back and forth with Melissa all this time.  I suspect that “A” was the one who wrote the suicide note, and shot, and already dead Ian, before stealing the horseshoe and exiting stage left.  Given all that, I’m not entirely sure Ian killed Alison.  To go through two-seasons of clues, only to reveal the solution to one of the show’s big mysteries in a suicide note, just seems like a cop out to me.  And I don’t think the writers of this show would want to do it that way.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, Ian’s “suicide” might not be viewed as a suicide for much longer, if Gloved Hand / A can help it.  Because, in addition to giving Spencer the Phantom Horshoe . . . in the final moments of the episode, he or she places Ian’s cell phone in Spencer’s purse.

I hope you look good in an orange jumpsuit, Spencer!  Because things aren’t looking so good for you right now . . .

See you next week, My Pretties!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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18 responses to “Old Habits Die Hard (But Creepers Die Harder) – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Blind Dates”

  1. sassyfran

    WOW as usual; who want’s Spencer in jail is the question, right? Why not one of the other girls? Why not Hanna? The part about the note I didn’t really notice all of that but it does make a lot of sense now that i saw the page link. I also once again could not find that site when I needed it; I guess I don’t deserve to use it if I can’t remember 😦 I love your insight on Wren, Spencer and Mike. Mike doesn’t have a real reason to be a pill he is just being a big brat but I do so wonder what he is up to. I don’t know why I still think Melissa is in this knee deep. I totally think she knows more than she is saying. The part where she went inside the barn first seemed suspicious because Ian would have known Wren had come to help him. I think Ian would have been more in a hurry to see the doctor than to see her to be honest at this point. What reason would she have had to go alone just for a minute? She would have been safer having Wren with her. I don’t know why I am obsessing over that but I don’t trust her now any more than before. I guess her coldness to Spencer the last few weeks just says so much to me about her state of mind. So if Ian wasn’t texting her and it was A then yes the big question who is A now? Is it possible A has changed or just has accomplices which I am more inclined to believe at this point. It was funny what you said about Jason hanging around the basketball court instead of job hunting but if he is building fencing he probably has enough cash to not worry about funds at least for now. OH and back to the letter all the coding in it was meant for the girls to see whereas everyone else will just take it at face value WOW so much deception I am curious to see what is up next. Thanks for sharing. !!

    • Here you go, sassyfran!

      http://prettylittleliars.us/photos//index.php

      I keep the link in my “favorite places,” since I use it at least once a week. 😉 That might be the best way not to “lose” it.

      You bring up some good points regarding Melissa. From day one, she has probably been one of the characters most suspected of being A or Ali’s killer. Assuming, for a second, that she is neither, however, the way she’s been behaving lately, seems to suggest that she thought Ian was Ali’s killer, and wanted to protect him from police prosecution, and maybe even help him escape.

      When A texted Melissa as Ian, he or she probably told her that he was very sick, and needed medical help, but that it was dangerous for anyone to know where he was at this point. “We will be together in time,” he might have said. So, Melissa (again assuming she’s not A), stuck by the man she loved. Even though she thought he might be a killer, she never became afraid he would harm HER, since she was wholly convinced in her love for him.

      If it went down THIS way, I actually do feel bad for Melissa. Because, even though she has committed a crime her by obstructing justice, the tears she shed in that barn, and the trauma she experienced upon seeing Ian like that would be 100% real.

      I definitely think you are right about A having accomplices. No one person could possibly accomplice all he or she did alone. Speaking of suspects, I agree! Jason D may very well be independently wealthy. Ali certainly acted like she had money, back when she was alive. And besides, how else could a jobless early 20 something manage to buy out Maya’s family’s house, with Maya’s family still inside? 😉

      I also agree with you that Ian’s suicide note may have been intended to serve as a message to the girls from “A.” It will be interesting to see how long it takes them to figure out what the IMDB user already pieced together. Next week’s episode looks intense. I can’t wait! 🙂

  2. Hey KJEWLS! Hope you had a nice holiday weekend! As always, AWESOME RECAP. I have tried to read other peoples blogs and because you have set the bar so high for me, I just come back RUNNING to yours. So, pat yourself on the back, because it’s REALLY hard for me to commit to one site like I have with yours. BTW, I was browsing through one of your books, Life Sucks, Death Bites, the other day and I loved it the beginning. So, when I get my new iPod, I am going to buy it and put it on there.
    Surprisingly, I enjoyed this episode. Despite the lack of Ezra, I got to see more Lucas and Wren, which is a pretty good trade. Anyways, I think I got my fill of Ian Harding this week. It includes me hyperventilating and feeling like gravity suddenly gave up. I’ll continue on that later in my comment, because if I start talking about it, I’ll never stop.
    Hanna has never been my favorite PLL. But this week she sort of came through for Lucas and your right when she was the best wingwoman ever. And Caleb has really come a long way with me. I may actually want him and Hanna together again. I haven’t decided yet. Lucas, as always, was the stealthy Seth Cohen and absolutely adorable. It never fails to amuse me how guys can get so nervous talking to girls, when we really aren’t that hard to impress us. Us girls…we’re pretty simple. Lucas, being the adorable yearbook guy he is, I think, took one step closer to being with Hanna, despite hitting it off with Danielle, who I somehow recognized. Watching Disney as long as I have, I probably have seen her before, but since I cannot remember names like a bear can’t resist honey (BTW I am probably the only teenager in my town going to go see the new Winnie the Pooh movie. I grew up OBSESSED with those movies and now their bringing back the older look for the cartoon and TIGGER, which my friends have tagged me with that nickname since I am just like that hyper little tiger, is back, bouncing all around on his tail again has me REALLY excited to go and see the movie.), I can’t remember the poor girls name.
    Samara again wins The Best Girl for Emily award. She is funny, sweet, and like how you mentioned, totally won over Emily’s mom. She also seems very loyal for a girl who can just hop in the ocean with fins and swim away. She and Emily also have a slow going relationship, which is a huge change for Em, since her ‘ship with Maya was so fast and then Paige was like a shooting star: blink once and you’d never realized that it had happened.
    Seeing Wren made me squeal. I think it was the fact that when I heard him say, “Spencer” in that adorable accent of his, he made me melt like a Popsicle on a hot summer day. His big, innocent eyes, also made me sort of float away. Then I noticed how much he seemed to want to help Spencer, but didn’t want to hurt her again (Did I miss something? I don’t think that the word ‘hurt’ would be appropriate. Maybe “charm” or “compel” her. But not hurt.) It made me realize how much he still cares about his sort of ex-girlfriend. Looks like Toby may have some competition!
    I have been avoiding talking about Aria and Jason because it made me sort of angry yet at ease with the fact they will have a ‘fling’ (Definition: a brief and short affair) because I sort of want to see jealous Ezra again. Last time I saw that side of him, I knew that he was in love with Aria, not to mention that it was so HOT to see on his already adorable face. Though I have to wonder about what one of the producers of the show said: Aria dating a more ‘age appropriate’ guy. Ezra is maybe six or seven years older than her, which in retrospect, isn’t a huge gap. Jason is a little younger than him but not much. Two years, at most. So, more age appropriate, no. Hotter, no. Younger than Fitzy, yes, but not much.
    Off to Mike. Though the boy who plays him has some plus sides to his face, like adorableness. He is pretty cute. But then again is a lion, up until they claw your face and eat you alive. Jeremy had a reason to be upset, losing both of his parents, and his girlfriend to douche bag yet hot Tyler at the beginning of TVD. Mike, like you mentioned, has a nice home, has both of his parents and his sister, and no vampires threatening to kill him. So, his dad made a mistake. He’s a guy. That’s bound to happen sometime. His mom flirts with his teachers and may have moved out for the majority of Season 1, but he has opportunities to excel. So, throwing a hissy fit over one mistake is kind of childish. If I had been Aria at the moment, I would have shaken him by his shoulders and screamed, “GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!”
    Then the whole blackmail thing. I thought Mike was going to say, “I’ll tell Mom and Dad how you’ve been sneaking around with your teacher.” If he had, I’d probably would’ve died. But since he didn’t, I was spared.
    Okay, on to the story of me hyperventilating. Two and a half months ago, I sent a fan letter to Ian Harding and sort of forgot about it. On July 4th, getting home from camping, my dad suddenly turns to me and says, “Hannah, who do you know in California?” At first, I’m like “What?” Then it hits me: Ian replied back to me in letter form. I felt like I was in a dream and I was begging my sister not to wake me up. Since Monday, I have read the letter 20 something times. I have named it, appropriately, the Cardiac Arrest Letter, since it almost sent me into Cardiac Arrest. Today I am still sort of recovering from that shock.
    Besides that, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week and I’ll be sure to watch TVD tonight on CW7. I haven’t been able to yet, cause I am a recent fan and I’ve been really busy. So, see you next week!

    • Hey CrazyLove! Your comment made me smile so much! Thanks for being so sweet, and for never failing to boost my ego!

      I literally squealed out loud for you, when I read about the fan letter from Ian Harding! SQUEEE! That is so AWESOME that he replied to your letter. I’m sure he was really touched and inspired by all the awesome things you do for him, as a fan: the kickass tumblr, the amazingly well written fan fiction, the insightful blog comments 🙂 . . . Ian must be a smart guy, as nobody is more deserving of a personal reply from him than you are. And now you will have that letter of his to keep forever! SO COOL!

      Wow, I am so honored you found and enjoyed part of Life Sucks, Death Bites. You might enjoy Hollywood Warlock too. It’s not quite as “dark” as Life Sucks, Death Bites, and features more hot guys / Hollywood romance. 🙂 (Gerald from Life Sucks certainly means well, but Ezra Fitz he definitely isn’t, as you probably already guessed lol). The first five chapters of both the books are up on my website, if you ever get bored / curious. No pressure, of course! 🙂

      Oh, and by the way, I think it’s totally awesome that you love Winnie the Pooh. ME TOO! My pet kitty is named Piglet, and I have quite the little collection of Winnie the Pooh themed stuff at home (stuffed animals, mugs, pens and such). I even have a t-shirt with Eeyore on it that says, “I’d look at the bright side . . . if I could find it.” Some folks might think it’s lame of me to have such strong feelings about a cartoon, but, like you (and many others, I suspect) I grew up with Pooh Bear and friends. So, I guess “old habits die hard.” I love that your friends call you Tigger. I’m probably more of a Piglet, myself. (Though, on the inside, I can sometimes be a bit of an Eeyore. Shhh Don’t tell anyone!) 🙂

      OK . . . back to PLL. 🙂

      So, I looked up the girl who plays Danielle, and her name is Amanda Leighton. I wonder if she is somehow related to the woman who plays Hanna’s mom, Laura Leighton? They do look a bit alike. As it turns out, Danielle was also in two episodes of 90210. So, if you watch that show at all, it might be where you recognize her from. Here’s her IMDB page, in case you are curious:

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3112508/

      I’m with you, in that, though I ship Luanna, I’d probably be OK with Hanna ending up with Caleb, as you can definitely tell he REALLY loves her. I mean, just look how smitten he was with her the entire episode! It was so cute! I guess my only gripe with the Haleb relationship is that it all seemed to happen so fast, much like, as you mentioned, Emily and her previous two girlfriends. The difference, of course, is that THIS relationship happened fast, because BLIND JENNA made it so. And that’s kind of creepy.

      Maybe it’s just the masochist in me, but I tend to prefer TV relationships that are more “slow burn,” where the couple either starts off in a sexy love/hate relationship, that eventually turns to love/love, or iONE of the parties is hopelessly in love, and pining, while the other (who may start off involved in a less interesting relationship) takes a much longer time to realize his or her true feelings. (See? Now, you know why I’m so obsessed with Delena! Aside from Ian being BEAUTIFUL, and Damon being all around awesome, all my favorite relationship elements are there.) As for Lucas and Hanna, I love how much they remind me of Seth and Summer from The O.C. So, I really hope they make it. But in the meantime, I GUESS I could live with more sexy Haleb shower scenes, and tent sex. 🙂

      Speaking of men I adore, I must say, I’m thrilled to see that you are starting to love Wren, as much as I do. He was such a sweetiepie in this episode! You can tell that he definitely still cares about Spencer, and, in his own way, Melissa. He knows he should stay away from them, but wants to protect them both from harm so badly, he can’t seem to keep himself from getting involved. The super sweet and genuine way he comforted Melissa at the end of the episode literally brought tears to my eyes. And considering how much I dislike Melissa, that’s saying A LOT!

      As for Wren feeling like he hurt Spencer, I suspect he’s referring to the fact that, by kissing her, while he was engaged to Melissa, Wren inadvertently drove a major wedge into Spencer’s and Melissa’s already-fractured relationship. Of course, this was just as much Spencer’s fault, as his own. However, Wren, being Wren probably sees that Melissa and Spencer aren’t talking to one another anymore (at least, not really), and feels responsible. Little does he know that IAN and A are the real reasons Spencer and Wren don’t get along. Oh . . . and Melissa’s kind of a b*tch. I forgot to mention that! 🙂 (I never really understood what a sweet guy like Wren saw in HER, anyway.)

      Team Samara FOR THE WIN! I do hope she sticks around longer than Emily’s 3 previous love interests. (I’m including Wife Beater Ben in this list. :))

      Congrats again on the Ian letter, and I can’t wait to talk PLL with you next week!

  3. Anastasia

    How did the pawn shop guy get the horseshoe – unless he’s was working with A? O.O

    I’m not sure if it’s only here or not, but if you are related to the teacher in anyway (inc brother in law) you can’t be in that class or they can’t teach it…

    I think Mike and Noel are doing stuff together?

    The Danby stuff isn’t hard to get – I know the college I went to had a gift shop, even a plushie of the mascot.

    The last time A broke into Anne’s office she/he totally installed a mini camera somewhere. By the way, if Anne’s a psychiatrist (shrink + doctor) she’ll be making around $400 per session (45 mins). How does Hanna look guilt, if there was no forced entry? Wouldn’t Anne escort her out and then lock the door?

    How do you know the red phone is Ian’s? I was thinking A was going through Melessa’s phone and delegating texts/call records. I think Ian died in the tower too.

    What do you think they’ll do with his body? Just bury it? Cause if the police get it they’ll be questions, but then they can do an autopsy and see how and when Ian died.

    Btw I totally want get to that “fan mail” thing, send a picture (postcard form) and get it signed, but I think it would cost too much – unless you’re in the same country. What did it say? Did you get a signed picture? ^^

    • Hey Anastasia! Thanks so much for your insightful comment! You never fail to show me things about the PLL episodes that i didn’t notice on first watch.

      Regarding the pawn shop guy, if you recall, there was a scene in last week’s episode in which A, a.k.a. the Gloved Hand took back the ring, after somehow convincing the pawn shop guy that Spencer had stolen it from him or her. Now, the scene was pretty vague, and we didn’t get to catch it from the beginning. So, it’s uncertain as to whether A did this by paying off the pawn shop guy, or by somehow providing proof of the ring’s actual purchase. Nevertheless, I suspect that, once the transaction was finished, A gave the horeshoe to the pawn shop guy, and instructed him to give it to Spencer, when she came to buy back the ring.

      I think you are probably right about the whole family member / teacher thing. It makes good sense, when you think about it. Because, even if a family member DIDN’T play favorites with the student, I suspect a lot of the students would assume that was happening, resulting in a lot of unnecessary friction in the class.

      I love your theory about Mike and Noel plotting together. I definitely remember a weird scene last season, in which Mike talked about how “cool” Noel was, and intimated that Noel told him about Aria and Fitzy. I could definitely see the writers picking up that dangling plot thread now.

      You are right about the Danby paraphernalia. Practically every college has a gift shop, and almost none of them require you to be a student to purchase things from there. (If they did, how else would parents and friends of college students,purchase all the college-themed stuff that they do?)

      WOAH! $400 per session? That’s steep! Even lawyers don’t charge that much per hour. Around by where I live, I think it’s closer to $150. Nevertheless, I don’t think I’ll be seeking therapy any time soon. I can talk to empty chairs perfectly well on my own, FOR FREE! 🙂

      Regarding why Hanna might be seen as a suspect of the break-in, here’s my theory: When the police were investigating, they asked Anne who else had a key to her office. To this she replied “no one.” So, the cops will probably assume that one of Anne’s patients stole her key while in session, made a copy of it, and broke in, after hours. This will prompt the cops to ask for a list of the therapists clients. They will notice that Hanna was the last person in the office before the break-in. Anne might also mention to the cops, when they ask her if any of her patients have a grudge against her, that the PLL girls were mad at Anne for separating them. And Hanna seemed particularly angry.

      I do actually think that the person who broke into Anne’s office / A is a patient of Anne’s. Of course, I don’t think it’s Hanna. However, I worry that the police WILL, for the reasons I described above.

      Regarding the phone, I’d actually read somewhere that it was Ian’s, and assumed the site I was reading it from knew what they were taking about. I could definitely be wrong, however. (I’m trying to remember what color Melissa’s phone was. I thought it was pink?)

      Thanks again for reading. I’m definitely intrigued by this new Ian Twist, and can’t wait to see how it will play out, next week. 🙂

  4. MCRmyMember

    I loved the recap, as usual, and it made me crack up soooo much. 😉
    I love Wren, but isn’t it a little strange how he went from “No, i don’t want to get between you and your sister again” to “I’m going to secretly help you and lead you to were Ian is hiding” with Spencer? I hope that he did it just to help her because Ian tried to kill her, and not because he has ulterior motives.
    I know that a lot of people on here will probably disagree with me for saying this, but I have liked Hanna and Caleb all along. I also liked Hanna and Lucas, but after he went cray-cray and destroyed Alison’s memorial (which I think is fine, but it’s still sketchy) I kind of lost all hope I had for that couple. Danielle was okay. She seems nice, and made me laugh because of her obvious jealousy of Hanna and Lucas’s friendship. 🙂
    Jason is creepy. I’ll just leave it at that. i missed my falcon boy, Toby this week! Hopefully he comes back soon!
    On the topic of Ian, in one of the sneak peeks for next week, Garrett (They need to get rid of this cop immediatly……he’s boinking “Blind” Jenna…enough said) he says that the body ahd been dead for over a week. And thats around the amount of time Ian had been missing for (in PLL land, anyway) so, I think he didn’t kill Alison, but I’m still glad he’s dead. Does that make me a bad person? 😉
    i can’t wait for next week’s episode. We see Ian’s funeral, looks like they discover something shocking, and……HALEB FOREVER!!! P.S. What the hell crawled up Melissa’s ass?????

    • Hey MCRmyMember! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. 🙂

      LOL re: what you said about Wren. His decision to help Spencer did seem a little sudden, didn’t it? Of course, I choose to believe that this is because he still cares about Spencer a lot, and doesn’t want to see her OR Melissa get hurt. Wren himself supported that statement, when he said to Spencer, “It’s my fault that Melissa [and by extension, YOU] got involved with Ian again, in the first place. In my Perfect Wren-Loving World, Spencer’s conversation with him made Wren truly worried that Ian might once again try to hurt Spencer and/or Melissa. So, he wanted to do everything in his power to prevent that from happening. 🙂

      All that being said, I definitely think Abs Toby will make his triumphant return next week. He might even attend Ian’s memorial to support Spencer. (By the way, I adore that you call him Falcon Boy. BEST NICKNAME EVER . . . possibly even better than Abs Toby. ;))

      Thanks again for adding the link to the promo to your comment! It looks pretty awesome! And I’m definitely going to have to watch the clips sometime this week. I’m actually really surprised they gave away so much info in them. (Usually, they tend to include “filler” scenes.) Based on what you said, it definitely seems like we are right in thinking that Ian died in the bell tower. Of course, this means that, by the time A shot him in the head and wrote that suicide note, Ian was already long-dead. (Ewww! Wouldn’t the body smell by that point?)

      Oh, and Haleb does look pretty darn hot making out in the promo. Even as a staunch Lanna fan, I can admit that. 🙂

  5. This show is starting to move from guilty pleasure to just plain pleasure for me.

    Something I really like: The fact that A is very similar to Allison. She/he knows all of the PLL’s deepest, darkest secrets and exploits this for whatever her/his endgame is, even if just screwing with their minds. She’s/he’s “been their best friend and their worst enemy” all in one, as Hanna said Ally was. On the one hand, she’s manipulated the girls into doing things she wants them to do, even stuff that could cause them emotional trauma (like Hanna being forced to eat the pig biscuits), but she’s/he’s also tried to help them solve the mystery of who Allison’s killer is. A has also seemed to pick on the girls in a similar way to the type of the relationship Ally had with specific girls. For example, Spencer had more of a hate than love relationship with Ally and didn’t take her crap, whereas Hanna felt she was nothing without Ally. To me, it is no accident that Hanna seems to bear the brunt of A’s nastiest schemes.

    I’d be very surprise if A ended up being male, if only because her brand of psychological warfare is much more common for girls to use than guys.
    I’m absolutely certain that A and Ally’s killer were introduced early on in season one, possibly even in the pilot. On mystery shows like this, where the resolution is prolonged, it would be cheap to have anyone BUT a character we are invested in or in the very least familiar with end up being the guilty party.

    The line between who A and who Ally’s killer is can be hard to draw, but I am convinced that they are separate people. I think the killer, not A, was behind the ring, Ian’s note and the “Nosy bitches die” message. I have a feeling that while A doesn’t know who the killer is, the killer knows who A is and hasn’t bumped them off yet, because they can masquerade as A to do some terrible things and lead the PLLs to think it was A when it was the killer all along. I fully expect the girls to discover A’s identity, only to discover the body of A and continue receiving threatening notes/messages, this time from the killer.

    I was ridiculously excited to see Wren in action again. That boy is like sex for my ears; his accent is so gorgeous!

    Hilarious recap and can’t wait for the next one! I love how all of the characters for PLL are starting to get little nicknames attached to their normal name, with “Abs Toby” being my favourite forever and always. It is the kind of show that lends itself REALLY WELL to nicknames like this.

    • Intriguing theory on A and Ali’s killer! Have you, by chance, read the books? 😉

      I like your idea of A and Ali’s killer playing a cat and mouse game with EACHOTHER, as well as the girls. (There was one “dream sequence” (?) earlier this season, in which “Ali” visited Hanna in the hospital, and joked about what a pain in the ass, A was. So, that definitely seems consistent with your theory.) If A and Ali’s killer are, in fact, different people, which I suspect they are, I bet that A hates nothing worse than having his or her mortal enemy (I too think it’s a female, though she may have a male accomplice to do the “heavy lifting” for her) masquerade as him or her, and not being able to do anything at all to stop it from happening.

      I’m also intrigued by your idea that the specific way that A tortures the girl’s matches their own particular relationships with Alison. Aria, who always seemed the least close to Ali of all the girls, has gotten off the easiest, I think. Since Emily was in love with Ali, A’s relationship with her bares all the markings of an emotionally abusive romantic relationship. The letters and gifts she receives are all sexually suggestive. And, up until now, most of the “pranks” A has pulled on Emily, were related to exposing her as a lesbian, which, though difficult for her, ended up being a positive thing. But beneath all the “kind” things A has done for Emily, there is a whiff of domination and control. Like Ali, A likes to keep Emily under her thumb, so that she can “pull her puppet strings,” when need be. (True Blood reference, of course ;))

      It’s interesting that you mentioned Hanna getting the brunt of A’s abuses. I always used to think it was Spencer, since she always seems to be the one getting framed for murder, having her crap stolen, and getting her home broken into. But, now that you mention it, Ali’s killer might be the one targeting Spencer in this way, to protect him or herself. Conversely, the bullying and mental manipulation Hanna receives regularly on the show, definitely come from A. Those few blackmail episodes, toward the middle of Season 1 that you referenced, are, perhaps, the best examples of this.

      “sex for my ears.” I love it! Wren is pretty much sex for every part of my body . . . safe sex, of course. 😉

      I definitely look forward to trading more theories with you, in upcoming episodes. I mean, who doesn’t love a good mystery, filled with shirtless boys, bitchiness, and romance, to boot? 😉

  6. Anastasia

    Didn’t the pawn shop guy originally think that Spencer had stolen the ring?

    In the book Mike & Noel were friends.

    Lawyers don’t charge that much? O.O That’s around how much they charge around here – inner city area. It might be cheaper if they’re less qualified/experienced though and in the country. Psychiatrist (a good one) costs start from about $400 – and that’s without getting money from your private health insurance.

    Hanna lbroke down and was happy that Anne helped her get through stuff – so I don’t think that would make her a suspect? That bit is a bit confusing… We practically “saw” A do it – last ep when he/she broke into the place – plus there’s the signature font A uses.

    Missed Ezra this week :(, but that’s ok, because he was essential in this part, plus there’s Wren ;).

  7. :)

    Hey Great / Hilarious Recap!!!

    Ohhh my Goodness! Caleb just brought sexii back! He is such a charmer and even though he used to get paid by the hour (gigolo reference) he has changed his ways. Sadly the sexiest of all was missed…Toby 😦 I don’t remember seeing him once.

    As for little Mike….he needs to shut the front door and keepa steppin! My sister who barely says bad words called Mike a douche bag!!! I was so shocked but at the same time she said it so perfectly that I just laughed and said “I won’t tell mom”.

    Reading most of the others comments I have noticed many have been hypnotized to believe that Samara is the chosen angel from heaven….but I see a demon stalker who is a little obsessive! I prefer Maya, mostly because I love her name and also because she didn’t constantly ask Emily dumb ass questions when rejected.
    Scenario:

    Samara: We should go watch some porn together!
    Emily: *Long pause/that weird face* Uhhh not really…
    Samara: *sigh* Wait do you not want to watch the porn or DO YOU NOT WANT TO WATCH IT WITH ME???

    I mean how many times does she have to say that line per episode, if the chick doesn’t want to hang don’t force your way into dinner!!! And for goodness sakes how long are they going to keep that girl in Jail…it was just weed! I mean I know she did drugs, but at least she was smart enough to stay in school…as for Samara she is constantly at Rosewood and is at EVERY swim meet. I am sorry but I despise everything about Samara, and hope Maya comes back and kick some butt.

    Great and indeed another successful recap! Loved it soo much I just had to keep it real. Continue 🙂

    • This:

      “Samara: We should go watch some porn together!
      Emily: *Long pause/that weird face* Uhhh not really…
      Samara: *sigh* Wait do you not want to watch the porn or DO YOU NOT WANT TO WATCH IT WITH ME???”

      . . . had me ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING! Hilarious. And even though I am one of those folks who was, as you say, “hypnotized” by Samara, I can see that you have a point. I always viewed Samara’s insecurities and constant questions, as showing that she somehow sensed that Emily was still hung up on Maya. And that the writers included this dialogue to foreshadow Maya coming back. (Though, honestly, I’m not sure where she’ll LIVE, now that Facelift Jason has taken over her house, and buried dead bodies in the backyard for the cute dog to eat.)

      However, I’ve seen those stalker movies. And you are right. They always seem to start with someone who seems “sweet but insecure.” I wouldn’t put it past the PLL writers to take the story in this direction. However, until she starts harming small animals, I’m going to give Samara the benefit of the doubt. (At least she’s WAY better than Little Orphan Bitchy!) 🙂

      • Hi, my Pretties!

        As is becoming the norm *slaps self on wrist for being naughty*, I’m running a smidge late on my PLL recap. However, it will ABSOLUTELY be posted sometime within the next 24 hours. I will say that I LOVED Episode 5! I thought it was well-written, poignant, and EXTREMELY well-acted. Most importantly, after four episodes of getting nothing but more questions, it seems we are FINALLY starting to get some ANSWERS! 🙂 This, of course, makes me extremely excited for the rest of the season . . .

  8. helena

    oh god i love that face (of course talking about spencer) 😀 lol

    • LOL. Thanks, Helena! Sometimes I think Spencer Face deserves its own PLL spinoff. I’m envisioning a crime show, where, every time something SHOCKING happens, they cut to Spencer Face, and hilarity ensues. 😉 Are you listening ABC Family? I think I have your next big hit! 🙂

  9. I love this show and it’s amazing it’s my life

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