Sometimes, Sex Can Be Icky . . . – A Recap of True Blood’s “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?

Don’t worry, Eric, sexual ickiness is clearly NOT something you have to worry about!

(NOT ICKY . . . AT ALL! :))

Now, Vampire Bill, on the other hand . . .

Greetings Fangbangers!  While last week’s installment of True Blood featured “A Whole Lotta Naked,” this week’s episode featured A Whole Lotta Sex.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the GOOD kind of sex . . . AT ALL!

“You mean there is such a thing as bad sex?”

(Oh yes there is JASON!  And, unfortnately, you are about to learn that first hand.)

So, strap on a condom, and renew your prescription for The Pill, because we are about to get started on this recap!

Amnesia Eric Apparently Watches the Jersey Shore

 “Eat your heart out, The Situation!”

When we last left our new pal, Amnesia Eric, and his roommate, Sookie, he was sniffing her from the window of her car, and telling her how good she smelled.

“Thanks Eric, but I think that’s just the pine tree air freshener hanging from my dashboard!”

This week, Eric continues to soak in Sookie’s stench, until she tires of being his personal Scratch n’ Sniff sticker, and drives away.  Now, you would think that, after four seasons of being attacked at night by supernatural creatures, while driving in her car, Sookie would learn to . . . I don’t know . . . CLOSE HER WINDOW!

But she doesn’t . . . so THIS happens . . .

Now, Sookie’s MAD!  So, she gets out of her car, and PUNCHES AMNESIA ERIC IN THE NOSE!

The fact that Eric was so utterly shocked, and hurt, by the fact that the girl he just VIOLENTLY PULLED OUT OF THE WINDOW OF HER CAR WITH HIS BARE HANDS would possibly want to do him harm, makes me wonder if he not only has amnesia, but has lost his short term memory, as well.

“Does this mean you DON’T want to have sex with me?

Sookie exasperatedly explains to Eric that his pretty little nose will heal right away, since he’s a vampire.  So, he should really stop crying about it.  Eric’s response?

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Did you hear that, Fangbangers?  Amnesia Eric just confused the blonde, southern, spunky, fairy waitress with the brunette, northeastern, puffy-haired, fake-baked, dumpling.

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I don’t know . . . if I was Sookie, I might have punched him again, at this point! 

But then, Sookie starts asking Eric what happened to him.  Eric gets so flustered and upset, that he starts talking in Sexy Magical Panty Dropping Language Viking  Swedish.  Then, he starts describing the Evil Witch who “took everything away from him.”  And he becomes all sad, scared, and baby blinky eyed, like a puppy who was just banished to the dog house, and is trying desperately to win back his owner’s affection.

“Awwww come on Sookie, don’t you want to bone me give me a bone?”

Sookie takes one look at that hot manly Bod of Godliness those wide innocent eyes, and takes pity on her confused roomie.  And so, she agrees to take this lost puppy home for a long round of shower sex with her, provided he doesn’t touch or bite her.  (Oh Sookie!  You are SO going to be eating Eric’s pants those words, in a few episodes!)

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“This is the beginning of a beautiful sex life friendship!”

Important Fact: Eric Northman is TICKLISH!

*tee heee heee heee*  “That tickles!”

When Eric and Sookie arrive back at the house, Eric (who is now wrapped in an adorable fleece blanket, which, apparently, Sookie keeps in her car for whenever Impromptu Car Sex Opportunities arise) lingers uncomfortably on her doorstep . . .

From a vampire mythology perspective, I found it interesting that Sookie had to re-invite Amnesia Eric into the home he now technically owns.  After all, though Eric no longer REMEMBERS purchasing Sookie’s house out from under her, he STILL has contractual rights to it.  Yet, even after Sookie TOLD Eric that he owned the house, he still would not enter until he received a formal invitation.  This leads me to believe that there is at least some psychological component to the whole “The vampire has to be invited into your home to gain entrance” rule.

Anywho . . .

When Eric eventually does come in, his muddy feet track dirt all over Sookie’s ugly crocheted rug, which is NOT COOL, as far as Sookie is concerned.  So, she makes him shimmy around the thing, a movement which does some very flattering things for his already delectably pinchable bum . . .

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Shake your bon-bon!  Shake your bon-bon!

Sookie then decides to wash Eric’s dirty feet in a basin, as he giggles and splashes around like a toddler.  He stops for a moment to admire Sookie and tell her how beautiful she is.  I love the way Eric seems to be rediscovering his attraction for Sookie, in its purest most innocent form.  I think it’s also great that he no longer has ANY GAME.  Viking Vamp Eric may have been a seductive, often manipulative, charmer, but Amnesia Eric perpetually wears his heart on his sleeve and his woody in his pants.

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Don’t worry, Eric!  You are going to get it all back soon enough . . . and then some!

While scrubbing away, Sookie calls Pam, who’s right in the middle of dinner (a.k.a. eating a dude), to inform her of the current situation.  Pam has dumped her leftovers, and is on Sookie’s doorstep, before you can say Jesus Metaphor.

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OK . . . now maybe I have a dirty mind, but what exactly does this look like to you?

Eric, who has no recollection at all of his own “child” exclaims, “WHO THE F*&K IS THAT,” when Pam arrives at the door.  Then he actually APOLOGIZES for being RUDE!  (Who IS this guy?)  Sookie is not exactly thrilled to learn that an Evil Coven of Witches is after Eric.  “I have to deal with WITCHES’ now,” she exclaims!

You think THAT’S bad, wait until you get a load of the WEREPANTHERS!

Sookie is even more unhappy to learn that she has to babysit Eric, while Pam works to help him regain his memory.  Since she NEVER EVER LEARNS, Sookie has the brilliant (read: ridiculously dumb) idea of going to King Beeel for help with Eric’s little problem.  “You tell Bill, and I will rip you to PIECES!”  Pam exclaims furiously.

At which point, Eric lashes out at Pam, literally throwing her out of the house, with the vampire powers he, apparently, still remembers how to use quite well . . .

I hope she washed her feet, first!

Poor Pam!  Here she is, trying to be helpful to her Maker, and she has to hear lectures from Amnesia Eric on how she has to be nice to SOOKIE!  I bet that really DUSTS HER DOILIES (and not in a good way)!

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Pam explains to Remedial Student Sookie that Vampire Bill was the one who actually ORCHESTRATED Eric losing his memory, by sending him into the witches’ coven unprotected, knowing FULL WELL what they would do to him, once he arrived there.

Thank you, King Beel, for helping to ensure that Sookie and Eric make sweet, sweet love in the very near futue.   Your douchedom is, actually, much appreciated, in this rare instance.

Though it seems completely unnecessary at this point, Sookie feels the need to add that Bill ONLY wants revenge on Eric because he TASTED some of his prized Sookie Shortcake, without paying for it, first .  . .

*ahem*

Upon hearing that he has once SUCKED STACKHOUSE, Eric seems rather pleased with himself.  “I did?”  He inquires excitedly. 

Of course, Sookie has to be a killjoy and tell Eric that this was a non-consensual  suck.  “You, basically, fang-raped me.”

This causes poor Amnesia Eric to apologize for about the 85,000th time this episode.  “Sorry,” he says.  (I’m starting to think that “Sorry” is Amnesia Eric’s middle name.)

Pam warns Sookie not to tell anyone that Eric is hiding out at her pad.  She then leaves Sookie’s Love Shack to go kick some ass, and eat some neck . . .

Sookie’s Ass Has Its Own Theme Song (Don’t you wish YOURS did?)

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Sookie leads a timid, very poorly dressed (Jason Stackhouse!  I expected more from your wardrobe!)   Amnesia Eric downstairs to his newly-renovated cubby hole to get some shut-eye (dead eye?).  Now that he’s got her in his bedroom, our Wiser Than He Looks protagonist decides to interrogate his hostess.  “Are you mine?”  He asks.

“Nope.” Sookie replies.

LIAR!

“Do you belong to another vampire?”  Eric inquires.

“Nope.” Sookie answers.  (This one is true.)

“Would you like TO BE MINE?”  Eric asks, hopefully.

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“No, I would not!”  Sookie responds frustratedly.

Yet another LIE!  Tsk, Tsk!

Eric must sense that Sookie is fibbing, because he catches her at the doorway, and extends his fangs, breaking two of Sookie’s All Important House Rules, in under a second . . .

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“Do I have bad breath?  It must have been that Marnie I ate, earlier this evening.”

SURPRISE!  Amnesia Eric says “Sorry,” yet again.  (Hey guys!  I just thought of a GREAT drinking game you could play, during this season of True Blood.  You’ll be drunk off your ass in no time!)

“He said ‘SORRY!’  Everybody DRINK!”

Speaking of ass . . . As Sookie climbs the cubby hole ladder, back into her living room, Eric unabashedly admires her ASS-ETS.  While he does so,  a song plays that shares the title to this episode.  Once she’s upstairs, the music stops. 

It’s the only time music plays throughout the entire hour.   And, as a result, it’s was a bit jarring for this viewer.  Typically, the title of the episode represents the song that plays during the final credits.  But, this week, “Season of a Witch” played during the credits.  So, basically, “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin”  is nothing more than Sookie’s Ass Song.  

“I WANT MY OWN ASS SONG!”

You’re KILLING ME, Alcide!

How could something so beautiful, be SO STUPID!

Probably because she doesn’t trust herself not to jump his bones, Sookie is desperate to get Amnesia Eric out of her house and her pantalones.  So, she visits Alcide, since he “owes Eric one.”  When Alcide sees Sookie, it is just like old times!  There are lots of eye-f*&ks, “meaningful” stares, and hugs that last just a bit too long to be considered merely friendly . . .

“Your nose smells good, Sookie!”

“Well, actually Alcide, I’m just getting over a sinus infection . . .”

So, you can imagine how shocked Sookie is to find THIS CHICK inside Alcide’s house, waiting to give her a Big Ole Hug!

OMG, guys!  It’s Trailer Trash Debbie.  And supposedly she’s “not on drugs anymore,” and “loves the Lord.”  She’s also dyed her hair shockingly Sookie blonde, presumably because she thinks (with good reason) that this is what Alcide likes.  It’s TOTALLY Single White Female.  But the grossest part about the whole scenario is when Alcide starts WILLINGLY MAKING OUT WITH DEBBIE!

Silly Alcide?  Didn’t you read the books?  Just like a tiger can’t change its spots, a Trailer Trash Werewolf can’t change her BATSH*T CRAZY!  And the sooner you learn that, the better off you will be!

Long story short, Alcide is too busy getting crabs from Trailer Trash Debbie to help out Sookie.  Oh well!  I guess she’ll have to shower him, herself.  Darn!

Beware of the Ugly Ass Doll, and the Eyes of a Cheating Vampire

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Jess has something important she wants to talk about with her Daddy.  But King Beel has some “Vampire Business” to dispense with, first.  The anti-vampire campaign in Bon Temps is in full force.  And one unlucky vamp, has become the unwitting spokesperson for the cause, having been caught on YouTube eating a chick in an alleyway.

This website is real, by the way.

Even though the woman in the video clearly did NOT die, and the vampire in question was only doing what Bill himself, used to do back in the 80’s . . .

King Hypocrite.

The “benevolent” King Beel, decides to put the guy to death, in order to . . . wait for it . . . “send a message.”  (I’ve got a message for you, Beel.  It starts with a F and ends with a U.)

Fortunately, Daddy-O is a bit more lenient with Baby Vamp Jessica, when SHE confesses to feeding on Sexy Non-Hoyt guy in the Fangtasia bathroom, last week (but, perhaps, only because SHE didn’t get caught, like that other guy did).  King Beel actually gives GOOD advice to Jessica, telling her that she owes it to Hoyt to be honest about her unfaithfulness.  Interestingly enough, these father/daughter scenes are the ONLY times I can stand Vampire Bill. 

(Nevermind that King Beel has absolutely NO BUSINESS teaching Jess the importance of truth, considering that he was lying to Sookie from the moment he met her . . .)

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Good dad .  . . horrible creature

When Jessica comes home she finds a pissed off Hoyt, once again clutching that creepy burnt up doll, which, apparently, is Chuck from Child’s Play incarnate.  After all, no matter how many times they throw the ugly thing away, it just KEEPS COMING BACK!

 I don’t know, Hoyt . . . if you hate the doll so much, why do you seem to spend a few minutes every episode HUGGING it?

Eventually, the young couple decide to give the dirty doll to Arlene’s Evil  Devil Baby, which, when you think about it, is probably the most appropriate place for it!

Baby LIKE!

As it turn out, however, Evil Dolls are the LEAST of Jess’ and Hoyt’s problems.  When Jess confesses to Hoyt about eating another man, Hoyt is understandably upset.  And so Jess makes a decision that we are SURE is going to come back and bite her in the ass.  She compels her own boyfriend to FORGET WHAT SHE DID!


Watching this, I couldn’t help but be reminded of ANOTHER Baby Vamp who compelled her then-boyfriend to forget some “bad” things about her . . .

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Of course, THAT time, the wussy wimp boyfriend ASKED for the compulsion, because he supposedly, though it ended up being nothing more than an EVIL trick (long story) couldn’t, in the words of Jack Nicholson, “Handle the Truth” . . .

Hoyt is OBVIOUSLY compelled against his will.  In fact, his last words, before falling under his girlfriend’s spell are, “Don’t you dare.”

Now, you know how I hate to say Beel  is right, EVER!  However, I’m pretty sure his prediction that, if Jess didn’t tell Hoyt about her unfaithfulness, he would find out on his own, is probably prophetic . . .

Speaking of Beel, and family . . . *ahem*

“It’s a REAL GOOD THING vampires can’t procreate .  . .”

I’m going to try my VERY best to not spoil this storyline.  But those who have read the Sookie books undoubtedly are feeling my EXTREME pain with respect to the scene in which Bill and Portia make “sweet, sweet, love.”

Want proof that Vampire Bill sucks at romance?  Check out the dinner he has with his new girlfriend, in which she tellls him that they should “consider adding sex to their [relationship]” simply because they are both powerful and intelligent.  Bill then proceeds to make this long boring speech about how his heart is too old to love, and blah, blah, blah . . . presumably, attempting to put Portia to sleep, so he doesn’t have tohave sex with her her.

Wake me up, when I’ve returned to your television screen!

But, you’ve really gotta hand it to Portia!  Having listened to all those lame lines and B.S., She’s sTILL DTF (a.k.a Down to F*&k).  So, “F” they do, as I proceed to vomit up my TV dinner . . .

In other nauseating news . . .

Jason Gets Laid By Lots of Ladies in the Same Night!

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Don’t get too excited, Jason!  It’s not quite what you think . . .

Poor Jason!  His whole life, he’s probably been waiting to have as much sex as he gets to have in this episode.  Then again, when he dreamed of this day, he probably didn’t imagine himself, drugged, chewed up within in an inch of his life, tied to a dirty bed, and repeatedly raped, by a bunch of unhygienic , gap-toothed girls who refer to him as “Ghost Daddy!”

I never thought I’d say this about my lover, Jason Stackhouse, but PLEASE get this creepiness OFF my TV screen!  (Oddly enough, he still looks pretty hot, though!)

So, apparently, not only is Jason being converted into a werepanther to impregnate CRYSTAL, he’s also being used to impregnate the ENTIRE female population of Hot Shot who’s over age 13!

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At least Andy’s finally woken up from his drug-induced stupor long enough to realize that his partner is MISSING! 

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 Even though Andy still has no idea where his bromantic buddy is (not to mention, he is so effed on V that he’s in NO CONDITION to help him) I’m still glad Andy got to call Jason’s cell phone, if only so that we could hear his hilarious answering machine:

  “You’ve reached Jason Stackhouse’s voicemail.  I’m not hear to take your call right now.   If this is an emergency, call 911, and ask for me!”

“Hi, 911?  Can I talk to Jason Stackhouse, please?  I’m stuck in Hotshot, with a bunch of hillbilly freaks, who are trying to rape me!  What . . . . what do you mean ‘He’s not there?’  Where the heck is he?”

Speaking of Andy, he finally came clean to Sam about his “V” addiction.  And, as we know, admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. 

Unless, of course, your problem involves maenad-induced pig hallucinations, in which case, you are on your own!

Speaking of Sam, he bonded a bit with former former f*&k buddy, Tara, and scolded Tommy Boy, when he claimed he wanted to steal Maxine’s “Natural Gas” money.  So, much for brotherly bonding . . .

Stealing from people is WRONG, Tommy Boy!  (But holding them at gunpoint, until they give you cash, and then shooting them anyway, is right.)

Honestly, I didn’t really quite buy the whole, Maxine’s living on a Natural  Gas landmine, and some dude just randomly knocked on her door, like Publisher’s Clearinghouse, offering her all this cash for no reason.  Either this is a Long Con, or the most unrealistic, contrived storyline ever.  Personally, I feel like this whole Sam/Tommy storyline, has been a bit setup for Sam to end up KILLING Tommy, so that he can become a “Skinwalker” and be able to shift into other humans, like his new girlfriend Luna can.  But that’s just me?

You probably should have stuck with the dogfights, Tommy Boy!  Because your days of illiterate whining are numbered . . .

Pam threatens to have sex with Tara, Laffy, and Jesus.  (Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it?)

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Awwww . . . isn’t that just the sweetest thing you have ever heard?

Still having absolutely NO CLUE what they’ve done to Eric, Marnie’s coven is PISSED OFF, and ready for revenge.   “He came into my house, and tried to get us to stop practicing our religion,” an indignant Marnie exclaims. 

Tara and Laffy, however, who each have personal experience with the Viking Vamp, aren’t as quick to want to go after him with pitchforks.   After all, both cousins are still nursing some SERIOUS PTSD after their respective vampire run-ins.

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Eric F*&king Northman, indeed!

But alas, Pam recognizes Laffy’s witch powers, and sees HIM as the quickest possible way to track down Eric’s witchy nemesis.   So, she kidnaps him and tosses him in the fateful dungeon where he spent many months, back in season 2.

“By the way, Laffy!  I LOVE your purple tank.  Where did you get it?”

Once they realize he’s missing, Tara and Jesus rush to Laffy’s aid, armed with a gun filled with wooden bullets.  (As former-Queen Sophie Anne can tell you, wooden bullets are NO JOKE!)  When Tara and Jesus arrive, Ginger the Banshee Waitress screams,  (SURPRISE!)

How on Earth does this woman still have a voicebox?

However, eventually, Pam and the feisty threesome broker what seems to me like a very reasonable deal:  They bring Pam to Marnie.  And, in return, Pam doesn’t eat and screw their brains out . . .

If Everyone Claps Their Hands and Says “I Believe” Maybe She Will Come Back to Life!  (Who am I kidding?  She’s TOAST!)

Nice knowin’ ya, Claudine!

That night, Sookie is sitting at her kitchen table, engrossed in a Charlaine Harris book . . .

“YES!  Just a few more pages, until I get to have shower sex with Eric!”

 . . . when she suddenly gets a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She checks Eric’s cubby hole, and finds it empty.  Frantic, Sookie rushes outside, to find Worst Fairy Godmother Ever Claudine on her doorstep.  Claudine has the NERVE to ask Sookie to come back to the worst opening sequence in the history of True Blood Fairy Land, where she can eat glow fruits, and hang out with more dead relatives.  Sookie says, thanks but no thanks.  And Claudine gets pissed.  But before she throw lightning bolts at Sookie, Eric emerges from the backyard, hungry for dessert, FAIRY DESERT.

Within minutes, Eric has devoured all the “good parts” of Claudine.  The rest turns into this .  . .

My precious . . . face.

Needless to say, Sookie is not pleased. 

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(How fitting that Amnesia Eric’s new catchphrase is the last word of the episode.)

And that’s all I’ve got.  See you next week!

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Yes . . . I do plan to use this GIF at the end of every TB recap.  Got a problem with that? 😉

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever] [Have Blood Will Travel!  (a TVD / True Blood Crossover Fanfic)]

21 Comments

Filed under True Blood

21 responses to “Sometimes, Sex Can Be Icky . . . – A Recap of True Blood’s “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?

  1. Linn

    Ah man, i just LOVE amnesia Eric! LOVE HIM! And his cheesy grin after that last sorry made me simultaniously giggle like a school girl AND drop my knickers. And with Eric being so lovable, the contrast to crappy Beeeel is just even bigger. How anyone can still be on Team Bill astonishes me.

    On the whole I am soooo happy True Blood is back on form (in my opinion). I really hated season three, and I wasn’t even sure if I would bother watching the new episodes, but now I’m so glad I did! Season three was so boring that I seem to have forgotten the whole plot, which leaves me confused every now and then, but then your brilliant recaps make it all become clear again 🙂

    Eugh, poor Jason and his creepy storyline I’m sure this is punishment for unnecessary facial hair. And was that mud they were putting in his wounds? Gross.

    I agree with you that Sam was being a real asshat in the first two episodes, but for me he redeemed himself this week. I mean, he’s totally right about how it would be quite mean to cheat the old lady out of money (even though she is a superbitch).

    And that doll thing… creepy! Reminds me of that X-Files episode with the doll that came from the sea. “I want to play! Let’s have fun!” *shudders*

    Oh and I haven’t read the books, so I’m really happy (and impressed) that you manage to avoid too many spoilers! I can imagine it’s frustrating 😉

    Can’t wait for next weeks episode and recap! You’re brilliant!! 🙂

    • Awww, thanks, Linn! That is so sweet of you to say! *blushes*

      You bring up a really great point about the VAST contrast between Bill and Eric. Before this season, I always felt that I was on Team Eric, simply because he was hotter, more interesting, funnier, smarter, and more bad ass than Bill. Plus, he had better sexual tension with Sookie. (OK . .. I guess that’s A LOT of reasons, but still ;)).

      Now, what we’re seeing is that, in addition to all these things, Eric is a BETTER PERSON THAN BILL! Each for their own reasons, Bill and Eric have been permitted to show their true colors, this season. Eric is no longer burdened with his past, or with the responsibilities of being sheriff. Bill no longer has to pretend to be the consummate Southern gentleman for Sookie. So, what happened? Eric became a total sweetheart, and Bill became an unimaginable ass! I say “became,” but really, I think that is who these individuals truly are . . .

      I also see what you mean about Season 3. Interestingly enough, when Season 3 was on air, I remember, being happier with it, than I was with Season 2, because I DESPISED the Maryanne / Maenad storyline. (Too many black eyeballs, and ugly orgys!) However, thinking back now, the ONLY things I remember about Season 3 are (1) that time when Russell Edgington de-hearted that poor newsman on national television; and (2) the four or five super sexy Sookie / Eric scenes we got that season. And that’s about it . . . which is strange, especially considering I spent hours upon hours recapping the ENTIRE THING. 🙂

      I know this season has been getting mixed reviews. And I’m definitely not as pleased about SOME storylines *cough* Sam *cough* as others. But I see a lot of potential here. And, besides, the Sookie and Eric storyline ALONE is worth the watch for me!

      Speaking of Sam, I feel like he generally has a good heart, he just has a big stick up his butt lately. In short, he needs to get laid . . . by Luna . . . or Tara . . . or SOMEBODY . . . FAST. I do, however, predict that his storyline is meant to lead him into becoming a Skinwalker. (Don’t worry, this isn’t a “BOOK thing” at all, just speculation on my part. Tommy isn’t even really a character in the books, and the whole “Skinwalker” concept doesn’t exist in Bookland.) I actually see a lot of interesting possibilities with THAT, as opposed to him just being a shifter, which I feel has kind of already been played out, in the past three seasons.)

      As for spoilers, THANK YOU for being so kind about them. I do try my best, not to give major plotpoints away. Fortunately, however, with the exception of Jason’s Hotshot Kidnapping, and Amnesia Eric, Alan Ball has really diverted QUITE FAR from Book 4 of Charlaine Harris’ series. And, in that sense, I’m going along for the ride, just as much as you all are! 🙂

      Thanks again for your kind words and insightful commentary! I’m sure we will have plenty of Sookie and Eric goodness to discuss, in the coming weeks ;).

      • Linn

        Haha, I love your take on Eric being the BETTER person deep down inside,and that now his loss of memory is allowing that person to come out. To me, allthough I adore him, Eric has always been one of the vampires that scare me the most. I suppose their all psycipaths by default to some degree, but while someone like Damon is a predictable psycopath, where I can somehow understand his actions, with Eric I just never know what he’s going to do next. Appart from Pam, his loyalties seem to be so irratic. I totally understand why Sookie is jumpy around him.

        His attractiveness is also strange. As a fellow Scandinavian, the whole tall, blond thing doesn’t usually do it for me (booooring!), and while Alexander Skarsgård himself is good looking, it’s only as Eric that i really fancy him (this is something I should worry about, right. This does not bode well for my choice in men).

        His swedish mumbling translates thus btw:
        “the wet sand between my toes, the wind against my shoulderblades. Her eyes, her eyes were cold, empty eyes” Or does knowing what it means completely ruin the magic? 😉

        I had totally not thought about your recaps of last season (I only found your website last autumn)! I was considering suffering through season 3 again just to remind myself og what had happened, but now i just red your old recap and hoopla, I’m up to speed 🙂 Brilliant!

        I can also totally see the skinwalker story go somewhere good, it could be very handy in many situations. He’d be like Mystique in X-Men, and she certainly put her abilities to good use…

        Only a few hours left to the next episode!! 🙂 Enjoy your Sunday!

      • Hmmm . . . that’s really interesting. Believe it or not, it never occurred to me that, precisely what makes Alexander Skarsgard’s appearance so striking to an American audience would be the same thing that makes him commonplace to a Skandanavian one. I guess sexiness really IS in the Eye of the Beholder, isn’t it?

        That being said, like you, I typically tend to prefer my men “darker,” both in terms of hair coloring and skin tone (with Ian Somerhalder’s combination of dark hair, medium skin tone, and GORGEOUS light eyes, being the ABSOLUTE ideal). However, there’s just something about the way Skarsgard carries himself as Eric Northman that I find undeniably sexy . . . his comfort in his own skin, his confident swagger, his strength and wit, the way his every word and movement OOZES sexuality . . . these are qualities I think the character shares in common with Damon Salvatore. And that’s a very good thing!

        Interesting point about Damon’s “sociopathy” being more relatable and predictable than Eric’s, and, hence, less frightening. I think the reason for this is because a lot of Damon’s darker moments stem from the impulsive way in which he copes with HUMAN EMOTIONS . . . love, jealousy, competitiveness, rage, loneliness, sadness. (There are a few exceptions, of course. I still have never quite come to understand why exactly Damon turned Vicki into a vampire, or why he killed the compelled hostess for the Hidey Hole vamps, when he could have just as easily compelled her to leave, and THEN there was the Jeremy Neck Snap Incident . . .)

        Eric’s darker moments conversely, for the most part, are purely “vampiric” (I just made my own adjective there) in intent. In TVD world, even though vampires aren’t “out” so to speak (or, perhaps, BECAUSE they aren’t), their lives are deeply enmeshed with humans. And so, their interactions with others, and motivations are also human. Eric hasn’t been a human for 1,000 years. He has lived most of his life according to a complex code of vampire rules. And he is, above all, a vampire politician: a sheriff and leader in his community. So, when he does “bad things,” he usually does them to save face, or to preserve some sort of status quo in his community. To put it in cliched terms, “It’s not personal. It’s business.”

        One could argue that this makes Eric a colder, and less human, specimen than Damon. On the other hand, it could also be argued that Eric’s bad acts are less inherent to his own nature, since he always seems to just be “following orders” or “doing his job.” This might explain why Amnesia Eric is so docile. After all, most of the cutthroat aspects of his personality are more a result of his position in the vampire world than anything else. Then again, 1864 Damon was a fairly docile guy, himself. 🙂

        Talk about food for thought! 😉

      • Linn

        I think you might have nailed it there! To me, doing horrible stuff and completely turning off your empathy because it is an order or to preserve your status like Eric, IS more scary as I cannot relate to such reasoning. To me, it also suggests a “colder” person. Damon’s fuck-ups usually come at a time of desperation, depression or anger (Jeremy neck-snap for instance), which makes him a hotblooded fuck-up. I can relate to that, much more than the emotionless attrocities of Eric. (have we ever even seen him angry??). I suppose I find horrible actions less understandable when they are “not personal”.

        I kinda understand Damon’s turning of Vicki, as he was in a sort of I don’t give a damn about the world- emotional place. I think turning Vicki was him trying to prove how bad he was, and how he didn’t care. The one thing he did, that TRULY shocked me, was the set-up and killing of Lexie. To this day, I can’t understand how he could do it. Not to mention how quickly Stefan forgave him!

        But back to TB, i truly hope Eric gets to enjoy a long time as a free spirited, well, baby-vamp, i suppose. It suits him.

        And yes, confidence is always sexy. I chose to believe that’s the thing I find attractive, not the bad boy antics 😉

  2. jmae

    Worst most horrible episode of true blood so far…
    Okay this is the season of AE and we get this stupid doll and Tommy trying to steal from Maxiene foytenbery in one episode.
    You know how on the teen wolf recap we were talking about the killer pretending not to be the killer even when they’re alone. Well that’s what this weeks scene with Alcide reminded me of. He was eye f*&king Sookie and hugging her and told her she’s a sight for sore eyes then in walks Debbie I’m like if you knew Debbie was in the house then why are you all over Sookie. I still hope Sookie blast her brains out in the kitchen.
    Alan Ball claims that Sookie is going to have to choose between Eric and Bill this season, but with the way things are going now that won’t be a hard decision.
    Also my favorite part of the episode was when Eric called her Snookie and when he drained Claudine dry. I like the Claudine of the Sookie Stackhouse books but in the show she Sucks.
    I hate Bill as king ‘I am the authority’.
    The scene with Tara and Sam was good that’s the calmest we’ve seen Sam in a good long while.
    Where were those little red underware of Eric’s I was hopeing to see them this episode.

    • Have no fear. I think we might get a peak at that red underwear yet (if Alan Ball knows what’s good for him!)

      I’m with you about the doll storyline. It just seems like it came completely out of nowhere. (Who’s doll is that, anyway? Did Maxine buy for Hoyt, when he was a kid? Or is it something that chick Summer made for him, last season?) And while the Devil Baby is great for comic relief, I find it kind of hard to feel bad for Arlene, when she is so grating, and generally, such an awful human being. (Then again, maybe we are SUPPOSED to root for the baby, in this storyline? Because, so far, I am! Unless it decides to hurt Terry! Then, all bets are off.)

      Tommy too has been pretty patently unlikeable this season. (I mean, when fans are taking MAXINE’S side, you know something must be wrong!) Last season, we got to feel a bit bad for Tommy, because he had those terrible parents that made him dog fight . . . and couldn’t read. And we knew he had absolutely NO CHANCE with Jessica, no matter how much he pined after her. But this season, he’s just a douche, plain and simple. Like a little Bill Compton . . . only less judgemental!

      Like you, I was also pretty disappointed in True Blood’s incarnation of Claudine. In the books, she was FUN! Here, she was boring with a capital B. Plus, I didn’t trust her at all. I was actually kind of happy that Eric ate her. Does that make me a bad person? Probably . . .

      I agree that Sam seemed pretty mellow when he was with Tara. (He didn’t bitch HER out for skipping town, like he did with Sookie!) Perhaps, his “support group” has been doing him some good. I’m also pleased with what the writers have done with Tara this season. She is WAY cooler, and less . . . ANGRY, than she used to be. I still don’t trust that Jesus, though!

      By far, I think the best storylines this season are Sookie’s and Eric’s (duh), Jess’ and Hoyt’s, and any scene involving Pam (LOVE HER!) For me, these fun portions of every episode, make up for the weaker ones. 🙂 But, hey, that’s just me. 😉 Thanks again for your awesome commentary, and I’ll definitely keep my fingers crossed for that red pair of undies to make an appearance! 🙂

  3. imaginarymen

    I’m totally on Team Amnesia Eric! It is fun seeing Saarsgaard having to tamp down all the Eric-isms and be all docile, grateful AND ticklish!

    The “WHO THE F*CK IS THAT??” when Pam arrived had me howling, and I thought of you when he put on the Blue Panty Dropper Hoodie ;-00

    Pam Rules. Period.

    I’m so used to being annoyed by Tara, that even though she’s not being so annoying – I still find her an annoyance! I do love her interactions w/ Lafayette.

    Sam is boring me. And his brother. And his new GF or whatever. I don’t even know her name. All the new women look alike to me and I know none of their names!

    And my POOR HOYT!!! I fear that Jessica will go on a fang-cheating spree and keep confessing and glamouring him 😦 I did love the relationship she and Bill FINALLY seem to have.

    I think Moyer is also having fun finally not playing such a wet noodle. Still don’t love Bill, but am enjoying his change in attitude. I’m even liking Sookie! Just like Dawson and Joey – they are better apart – KEEP THEM THAT WAY!

    I haven’t read the books – and I understand the Jason storyline is in them, but I personally HATE IT. For one thing, they are ruining my Jason-Abs-Ogling by having his torso be all bloodied and bruised :-((

    But more than that – it is really distasteful. There is no doubt in my mind that if it were Sookie tied to a bed being tortured and drugged, then systematically raped – people would be up in ARMS. It’s no less disturbing and offensive seeing it happen to a guy.

    Plus it is depriving me of Jason/Andy Crime “Fighting” Shenanigans as well as Jason/Hoyt Biscuit Eating Activities. Mommy No Likey :-((

    • Thanks for the awesome comment, Amy! (I’m going to start at the bottom and work my way up to Eric ;)).

      I agree with you TOTALLY that the Jason Rape / Incest storyline is being taken WAY TOO FAR. (Since the books are written from Sookie’s perspective, what happened to Jason took place “off-screen” there. And, honestly, I think that was for the best. I only like to see my horny baby in handcuff during HAPPY SEXY TIMES!)

      I’ll also grudgingly admit that the emergence of Bad! King Bill, is allowing Stephen Moyer to flex his acting chops in a way that Beeeeel never could offer. And, to his credit, Mr. Moyer is doing an excellent job making me hate Bill for completely different reasons than the ones I used to hate him during Seasons 1 to 3. Mr. Moyer is clearly a talented actor. Bill still sucks though . . . no matter how you slice him. (For what it’s worth, Book Bill sucks too!)

      Vampire Jess better watch her step! If she keeps frying Hoyt’s brains like that, he will end up like Screaming Ginger!

      Uhhhh! Sam! I actually REALLY like Book Sam! He’s kinda boring, but at least he’s a good guy! TV Sam hasn’t been sweet, fun, and interesting, since he was that cute CGI dog that slept on Sookie’s bed in Season 1!

      I would love it if Lafayette dumped Jesus, and starting hanging out with Pam. These two would have so much fun together, if Pam would just stop throwing him in the dungeon! Speaking of Pam, if Tara’s going to take a walk on the Bi-Side, PAM should be the girl she does it with. Pam would totally call Tara on her whiny B.S.! (Plus, I think they’d be kind of hot together . . . and this is coming fro a straight girl.

      I love the sweetness of Amnesia Eric. And I can’t wait for him and Sookie to get it on. There’s only one thing this storyline is missing. Some tight red underwear, and the panty dropper blue sweater from Season 3. (The hoodie, for whatever reason, isn’t really doing it for me.) 😉

      I’m so glad you are getting to watch TB this season, so that we can fangirl over it all summer, Amy! You rock!

  4. Ali

    hey there jewls! I agree with all the coments about True Blood making a comeback to its awesomeness… I personally think it was that AWEFUL season opening secuence that made us be a little bit doubtful… but it is coming together

    I think Sookie did not tell Eric that he owned the house before inviting him in… I would have to re-watch the episode… but I think it was never mentioned before she said something like “it is your….first time coming so you need me to invite you”… even though your theory sounds very interesting and deep 😉 anyway if sookie was trying to keep Eric´s ownership a secret, Pam´s entrance was clear enough for Eric to think that the house was no longer owned by a human..

    and i totally agree with imaginarymen… boy does that werepanther storyline annoy me!… I am a guy and that raping scene was disturbing and then some… In fact, Jason agrees with me, becasue the only way he´s boning all those dirty hillbillie trashy girls is tied up and on mexican viagra… not cool

    I was about to stop by your Teen Wolf recaps… but those werebangers are sooo much of a talkers than fangbangers,,, so I rather commenting here, where I can finish reading the comments in less than 7 pages LOL

    • LOL about your comment regarding the Teen Wolf recaps. 🙂 That show does have a surprisingly intense fanbase, doesn’t it? 😉 But, truthfully, you haven’t seen LONG, until you’ve seen the comments people leave on my TVD-centric pages. 😉 Then again, I’m just as guilty in the length of my commentary replies, so I can’t really complain. 🙂

      What’s so sad about the Jason storyline is that, under basically, ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES, Jason would LOVE to have lots of sex partners in a single evening! After all, it was, more or less, all his character did, during the first half of Season 1. For a guy who loves sex, as much as Jason does, this is truly the worst form of punishment imaginable! And every time this storyline comes on my screen, I never know whether to cry, gag, cringe, or look away! It’s THAT uncomfortable to watch! Hopefully, it will be put out of its misery soon!

      Thanks for your insightful comment, Ali! And, just so you know, the more you guys compliment that Zoolander gif, the more I will OVERUSE it! 😉

  5. Ali

    Oh… and the zoolander gif…. use it anytime… it is sooo hilarious 🙂

  6. serendipity

    Hi Julie! Sorry for being so late, but like I already told you, it took me so long to actually find this episode on the internet, that I only now found time to read your very funny recap… You always make me smile 🙂

    Well, I am glad for Amnesia Eric and he’s cute and all, but can I just whisper to you that I prefer bad-ass, on top of his game Eric and that I hope he gets back real soon. They don’t have to give him his memory back (at least not before a steaming shower scene and some equally steamy sex scenes with Sookie of course), but I remember that in the books he hears about the reason why Marnie hexed him, i.e. to be his f*ck-buddy (god almighty, TB Marnie had better not asked that of Eric…), and he gets real cocky real soon…

    About the entry invite: I suppose he just doesn’t know he can just walk in there, no? It looks as though Sookie at first wants to just tell him he can come in anytime, but then she realizes she just doesn’t want to tell him its actually his house! So she “invites” him into his own house… Only to have it spoiled by Pam later on LOL

    Oh yes, and which bit did Sookie not understand in the phrase ‘do not tell anybody Eric’s here’? She has to go straight to Alcide whose loyalty remains – as ever – questionable, especially with Trailer Trash Debbie back in his good graces… So she didn’t die here… 😦

    Poor Jason… all sweaty (still sexy though, and still no discernible five o’clock shadow, so they must be grooming him… and they do indeed, even to the point of giving him a mud-bath.) The F*ck-fest was a little too much: I’m even glad we didn’t get that on screen…

    Sam and Tommy… that brotherly bond needs some work! Do you know, when I recently revisited season 3, I saw the bit (I had completely forgotten about) where Sam’s past history doesn’t seem so clean… and where he shoots his partner in crime and her boytoy… only it kind of freaked me out that I knew them better as Lexi and Elijah… I guess Sam was lucky then they weren’t wearing their vampire teeth, or he would never have made it to even the first episode of TB LOL

    I do hate the silly doll thing and actually I’m not too big a fan of Arlene’s freaky baby…I really feel compassion for poor Terry if that kid really turns out to be Rosemary’s baby…

    Thanks for the gif of a certain bar in Georgia… I love it! 😀

    Oh, yes, and (well, I’m really behind on that kind of news, I know!) it seems that playing a vamp or vamp-bait on TV is good for your love life, because just like Sookie and Bill (well, Anna and Stephen), Ian and Nina are now officially an item… I knew that chemistry had to come from somewhere 😉

    So, Julie, until next week!

    • Hey Valerie! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! By the way, I just finished reading your new fanfiction chapter, and I think this one might be your hottest yet. I need a cold shower just thinking about it! 🙂 Of course, I’ll leave my full review on your site. But, wow, you are just so talented. (And I’m a bit jealous.) 🙂

      By the way, if anyone else is reading this comment, and likes sexy vampire dancing tales (particularly those of the TVD variety), go here:
      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6941538/1/Shadowdancing

      Trust me, you will not regret it!

      OK . . . back to True Blood . . . 🙂

      Hmmm . . . yeah, I don’t see Marnie and Eric hooking up anytime soon. Marnie’s inner witch, however (a.k.a “Hallow”), the one sitting in the rocking chair near her in the “wrist slitting” scene, definitely seems like she’d be down for some Viking Vamp Action. 😉

      I have to say that like you, I do miss some of pre-amnesia Eric’s trademark cocky sexy snark (like, for example some of the lines he laid on her in last episode 1 and early episode 2). And yet, I’m willing to compromise some snark and cockiness for a little shower action. Aren’t you? After all, good sex doesn’t require a whole lotta talking 😉

      I was FURIOUS at Alcide, when Trailer Trash Debbie made her unwelcome reappearance this past week. Seriously! How dumb can the guy be? I’m still confident that the book storyline regarding this character will remain, more or less, the same in TB world. It’s just too juicy (not to mention too important to certain character and storyline developments) for Alan Ball to pass up. :))

      Good point about Jason, and his sudden lack of facial fuzz! Perhaps, the mud in Hotshot has depilatory qualities 😉

      Holy MACK! I remembered Sam killing “LEXI” in that Season 3 TB flashback, but I didn’t remember him killing ELIJAH TOO! (I guess that’s because, he wasn’t Elijah yet, when I first watched this scene! ;)) What a small vampire world! It WOULD have been really funny, if those two suddenly morphed into their TVD characters, and literally “ripped Sam a new one.” Considering how annoying I’m finding Sam’s storyline this season to be, I’m kind of wishing this was how it actually went down.

      I do enjoy Book Sam, however. So, perhaps, things will get better for him. Plus, if Sam DOES end up being a Skinwalker, that presents A LOT of really interesting possibilities for the character in future seasons. Heck, he could pretend to be ERIC! We’d DEFINITELY get some good Seric sex scenes that way! 😉

      I must say, I’m not usually “into” celebrity couples, but I’ve been following Ianina, ever since he tweeted that the tight dress she wore during the MTV awards was like a present in pretty red wrapping. 🙂 And then the pair took their PARENTS to France with them. (Awwww!) I ADORE THIS COUPLE! Both of them really are so very different from the characters they play. And yet, they FIT together in real life, just as seamlessly, as their characters do on the show. It’s truly magical. *sigh* As for Anna and Stephen Moyer . . . ummmm . . . well . . . yeah . . . I don’t have much to say about them. But I’m sure they are very happy together. (That was “polite” right? 😉 )

      So, how do we sign up to star in a vampire show, Valerie? Because I am SO IN! 😉

      • serendipity

        Wow, Julie, thanks for posting the link to my story! Awesome! That scene really flowed out of my fingers, apparently my mind really wanted them to get some action 😉 But there will be more soon 😉

        Well, yes, I will trade in some Eric snark for a sexy shower scene – for any kind of sexy Eric/Sookie scene actually 🙂

        And I’m totally with you in hoping that Debbie will meet with the business end of Sookie’s gun. I didn’t like her in season 3 and I don’t like her now, whether she’s got herself a dyejob or not 😦

        Speaking of TVD vampires appearing in TVD: could you have imagined Ian playing Jason Stackhouse? I heard an interview once where he said he auditioned for the part 😀 I could have imagined him running around halfnaked most of the time à la Jason Stackhouse (and having lots of SEX – well, that would have been yummy to see LOL) but I just can’t picture him acting as dumb as Jason does some of the time (well, he certainly seems to be losing that dumb&dumber image as the seasons progress 😉

        And I agree yet again (don’t I always agree with you 😉 ?) on the Sam storyline: boring as hell! And I do like bookSam, to the extent of having feared for a long time that Charlaine meant endgame to be Sookie/Sam rather than Eric… 😦

        Yes, well, I’m not into celeb couples either, which is why I didn’t pick up on their hookup (well, official hookup) until rather late 🙂 I just saw the pics of Iannina visiting Paris (also too late, I might add; had I known beforehand, I might have considered hopping on a train for an hour and a half and getting myself over to Paris LOL). They looked very coupley… And Anna and Stephen… yes, you were polite 😉 Very much so 😀

        I’d settle for writing for a vampire show before acting in it I think 😉 😉 Might be a more attainable goal 😉 JK of course 😀

  7. East Coast Captain

    You hate Bill? And I like Bill? No wait, I like Bill because he´s no emo, he´s definitely dark and dangerous and vile and sadistic but I find his scenes with his daughter Jessica very heartwarming. She´s the only thing that saves him as a character. So I maybe a Bill fan but I will not make excuses for him because that would be stupid.

    Although I worry for him because when the True King of Louisiana comes back and he WILL come back someone is going to get killed. I certainly wouldn´t want to be Eric, Bill, Sookie and the rest when King Edgington returns from his concrete tomb.

    Moyer is definitely having fun expanding Billy boy.

    • Well, Bill is definitely less boring, than he used to be. That’s for sure! 🙂 And I do like his paternal relationship with Jessica (certainly more than his “romantic” relationship with Sookie). You ARE a Team Seric fan, right? RIGHT? 🙂

      And I agree with you that Stephen Moyer is getting more of a chance to flex his acting chops this season, than in the past three. I also agree that King (?) Russell (I’m pretty sure they stripped him of that title, after his “Back to the Weather, Tiffany” moment), will re-emerge from that vat of cement to wreak havoc on Bon Temps, definitely next season, if not this one. But I think it’s very safe to say that the core cast: Sookie, Bill, and Eric, will all live to see the series end. 🙂 So, I wouldn’t worry too much about their respective fates. 😉

  8. “You killed my fairy godmother”. Not exactly the stuff that storybooks romances are made of, and that is why I love the Sookie/Eric pairing. Even though this scene deviated from the books, I like that we aren’t just going to get a sanitised love story if this episode is anything to go by. Eric is sexy as hell but he is also a predator, and seeing his sweet amnesia persona at odds with his brutal instincts was just awesome to watch. One minute, he is worried about tracking dirt on the rug, the next he is chomping down on Claudine (haha! Viewer surrogate for basically devouring and getting rid of any and all connections to portal of suckitude aka Fairyland as shown on True Blood)

    In the book this pairing is drenched with heightened romance but also a sense of danger… and part of the fantasy of my favourite vampire couplings is the sense that you are giving a big FU to your basic animal instincts and self-preservation. In fiction, that is hot as hell, because you can take that walk on the wild side vicariously and safely. So, as much as I love self-possessed, smug and smirky Eric, I’m equally enjoying seeing this other side of him.

    LOVE that Sookie made a snark last episode about Eric being mad if he thinks that he is going to just get her to “magically” spread he legs. I mean, after witches incanted we got Amnesia Eric, and I think it is pretty obvious to anyone who has ever watched TV that this magically produced character IS going to get Sookie to do exactly this.

    Tara redeemed Sam for me somewhat by making him likeable again through their flirtations.

    Aww, Bill, stop having cute scenes with Jessica where you are an awesome maker and say cool things like “vamp up” and making me like you. Do not want to EVER like you! It was nice continuity from their poignant scene in season two where Bill tells her sweetly that Hoyt would be made for not taking her back.

    Debbie Pelt, from makeunder to makeover. Hardly recognised her when she was wearing actual clothes.

    Alan Ball, I like seeing Jason Stackhouse glisten, but not when he is being mutilated by werepanthers in heat. Just let me take the boy home, tuck him up in bed and feed him hot biscuits.

    Gah, Sookie, you are a freaking telepath! Read Debbie Pelt’s mind to see whether or not you can trust her. Failing that, read every dirty thought Alcide is no doubt having about you. Is it wrong that I wouldn’t mind Sookie having a little Alcide action before Amnesia Eric works his way into her heart and has his way with her? I know that Sookie generally can’t read weres’ thoughts clearly in the books, but they changed this last season (she read Alcide just fine when he first met her and when she “heard” Debbie’s indiscretions and “who the f**k is Bill Compton) so it really stood out to me when Sookie didn’t use her power this episode.

    Jess is on a slippery slope. Glamouring her loved one once could easily lead to this being her solution anytime her and Hoyt experience problems. What an interesting metaphor for couples avoiding facing issues in their relationship.

    • Hey there! I loved reading your take on this episode, Cherie! I’m always impressed with the intelligence and in-depth analysis you bring to supernatural discussions (while still showing a “firm” appreciation for the naughtier, more carnal, aspects of shows like these ;))

      In addition to being hilarious (because, let’s face it TV Claudine was SUPER ANNOYING. And while I mourned the character’s MUCH LATER passing in the books, I was NOT AT ALL SAD to see her TV self go), the Eric Eats Fairy Souffle for Dessert Scene in this episode was also kind of interesting. You had to wonder, what exactly it was that MADE Eric decide to eat Claudine.

      Was it simply that he was hungry? And she was in the wrong place at the wrong time? Was it because, like in the books, the scent of a full fairy drives vampires crazy, and he couldn’t contain himself? (After all, Amnesia Eric DID try to eat Sookie — or at least take a big man-sized bite of her — when she first drove away from him in the woods.) Or was there something more to it than that?

      Though the Claudine in the books, had mainly good intentions for Sookie, I got the impression from that HORRID opening sequence, that THIS Claudine didn’t . . . at least not entirely. She willingly took Sookie to a place where her people were HARVESTING HUMANS, and then tried to get her to eat a glow fruit to make her stay there for all eternity. It was CLAUDINE’S fault, really, that Sookie lost an entire year of her life. That’s not what I call a Good Fairy Godmother . . . more like a Wicked Witch, or Evil Sorceress . . .

      We already saw how Amnesia Eric reacted when Pam said some choice harsh words to Sookie. He DEFENDED the woman he’s obviously attracted to, and still, to some extent, I think, believes is HIS, by displaying a bit of violence against someone he viewed as a threat to Sookie’s safety. Likewise, in this scene, Claudine, was acting a bit threatening toward Sookie, by ordering her to return to that AWFUL TAMPON COMMERCIAL LAND. And Eric undoubtedly sensed Sookie’s discomfort and anger over Claudine’s uninvited presence. So, maybe . . . just maybe . . . this was Eric’s way of being “nice?” 😉

      Of course, I agree with you that Alcide is a total moron. And yet, I actually think, his willingness to go back to Debbie, after all her craziness, adultery, and blood addiction, is consistent with his character in the book. Alcide’s constant inability to see Debbie for who she really was, had always been one of the character’s greatest flaws. Book Debbie may not have creepily dyed her hair like Sookie’s and claimed to have found Jesus again, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she ALWAYS looked in Alcide’s eyes, the way she did in this episode. That’s how brainwashed Debbie has Alcide, unfortunately.

      As for Sookie, I DO think she knows on some level that Debbie’s still wacked, that Alcide secretly wants to bone Sookie, and that all this can’t possibly end well. My only explanation for HER behavior in this scene, is that she doesn’t want to make waves just yet. It’s the Southern Belle in Sookie, that tries to be polite in the face of adversity.

      I also think that, at this point in the game, Sookie can’t really gain any ground by telling Alcide that he’s an IDIOT for thinking Debbie has changed. Alcide won’t allow himself to believe this. And, what’s worse, he would probably respond harshly to Sookie bringing it up. So, Sookie’s silence, she feels, will ultimately save HER relationship with Alcide.

      Eventually, I suspect Sookie will come to regret that decision (whether that’s before or after Alcide and Sookie inevitably hook up on the show, remains to be seen ;)). But for now, I think she feels like holding her tongue is the right thing to do.

      I’m also intriguing about your take on Jessica’s decision to compel Hoyt as a metaphor for deception and avoidance in relationships. I’m sure we’ve all had moments when we’ve said things to a significant other or friend that we wish we could “erase,” in order to start over with a clean slate. And yet, in real life, at least, it’s impossible to ever truly erase the past. The best you can hope for is the ability to move past it gracefully.

      While Hoyt’s feelings may have been temporarily spared, the underlying issues and inherent problems of his relationship with Jessica are still festering beneath the surface. And if I know my True Blood, they won’t stay hidden for long . . .

      Thanks again for your awesome comment! Happy Sunday (unless it’s already Monday for you, Girl from the Future?)

  9. Candy

    Hahahahahahaha I just stumbled across this site while trying to find some music and I love it!!! funny as f$&k!!!! Kudos!!!

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