Animal Magnetism (and How it Can Help Get You Laid) – A Recap of True Blood’s “I Wish I Was the Moon”

I’ll have what SHE’S having . . . 

Wooh!  Well, hello, Fangbangers!  Have you cooled off yet from this week’s episode of True Blood?  Or are you still howling at the moon, and rolling in the dirt?

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Well then, hold on to your face (and your butt), and please, try not to shapeshift in the house!  Because it’s time for your weekly True Blood recap . . .

(By the way, special thanks to Skarsgardfans.com for all the awesome screencaps you see here, unless otherwise sourced.)

Sorry, Vampire Beeeell!  You’ve been replaced!

“Dearest, Eric!  Don’t forsake me!  I want you in my ass  mouth dominion.”

Poor King Beel!  He may own the crown, and the keys to the fine State of Louisiana.  But Vampire Eric possesses keys that are MUCH more valuable.  Of course, I’m referring to the keys to Sookie’s legs  panties heart.

“Open SESAME, SOOKEHHHHH!  I’m GOING IN!” 

When we last left our lovers, Amnesia Eric and Sookie were making out a few steps from her porch.  This week, they’ve managed the always- challenging feet of tonguing and fondling one another, while walking backwards, climbing steps, AND removing extraneous items of clothing. (Don’t let TV and films fool you!  This sh*t is HARD to do!  And, more often than not, it involves someone falling on his or her ass.)

ERIC:  “Woah!  Was this couch always here?  Because I could have sworn it wasn’t always this conveniently close to the door.” 

SOOKIE: “Just shut up, and continue humping me, please . . . I peeked at this week’s promos.  Apparently, we don’t have much time until the Cockblock comes, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get to have AT LEAST one ‘O’ before he arrives.

Fortunately, Sookie gets her wish . . .

“Thank you, LORD!  I’ve been waiting four years for THIS!” 

Enter King Cockblock . . .

*insert Depressing Death March Music here* 

“SOOOKEEEEEEHHHH!”  King Cockblock shouts.

Perhaps, he assumes Sookie’s moans of pleasure, are really cries of pain, in disguise!  Nah . . . he’s just a douche.

Then, THIS happens . . .

 . . . and THIS . . .

So, of course, my inner fangirl starts doing THIS . . .

“KILL HIM, ERIC!  You STAKE that King Cockblock!  Stake him GOOD!”

There is an interesting moment, where Eric stands poised with his big ole fire poker over Beeeel’s heart, and demands that Sookie tell him who exactly this creeper is to HER.

 Sookie hesitates for a moment.  The words “ex boyfriend,” “cemetery f*&ker,” “almost blood drainer,” and “master betrayer” undoubtedly run through her brain, before she decides on “He’s YOUR KING,” which , if you think about it, is not exactly responsive to his question.  Nevertheless, Sookie’s answer affects Eric deeply.

“You mean this little twerp is my KING?  What kind of a f*&ked up State is this?” 

“I’m SO moving to New York.”

Even the typically boring stoic Bill is taken aback, when Amnesia Eric drops his fire poker to the ground, falls to his knees, and says, without a hint of irony or sarcasm in his voice, “Forgive me, my liege!”

“When did this show suddenly become Game of Thrones?” 

At some point during the credits, both Sookie and Amnesia Eric manage to put on some clothing.  (All together now: “BOOOOOOO!”)  Now, Bill has his Swat Team minions handcuff Eric (with SILVER, of course . . . BASTARD), and take him away.

Sookie, of course, starts whining and carrying on like it’s her job (BECAUSE, BASICALLY IT IS!), which normally annoys the heck out of me.  However, this time, I’m totally on her side, because she’s whining for a VERY Good Cause  . . . the Continuation of Seric Sex.  Her first argument is that, since Beeelll is not HER king, he can’t just go barging into her house, and taking her nearly seven-foot tall Viking Vampire Vibrator!  Then again, technically this is Amnesia Eric’s house now . . . so, YES, he can.

Sookie – 0; King Cockblock – 1

But Sookie gains back the lead, by seeing Bill’s holier-than-thou “Respect my AUTHORITAYYYY” “I’m really doing this for your own good” explanation for Eric’s arrest as exactly what it is: Jealous Ex-Boyfriend Bullcrap.

“Hey. why don’t you just go back to screwing your great great great great granddaughter and leave me alone!” 

First Bill argues that Eric is a danger to himself and other’s because he is under the influence of a necromancer . . . It may sound kinky.  But don’t let those big fancy words fool you.  He’s REALLY just talking about THIS chick  . . .

“Don’t you worry, Witchiepoo!  A little Visine will clear that RIGHT UP!”

Bill then COMPLETELY contradicts himself, by asserting, alternatively, that Eric is NOT under the influence of a necroblahblahblah Marnie, a.k.a. Witchiepoo, but is actually FAKING his Amnesia to get into Sookie’s pants! (Come on . . . admit it, this would be a BRILLIANT idea, if it were actually true.)

“Ooh!  Would you guys please remind me to try that one on Elena, next season?”

“Well, WHICH is it, Asshat?”  Inquiring Sookies want to know. . .

Sookehhhhh – 2; Beeeeeelll  – 1

 Sookie then blatantly calls Bill out on being jealous, and not being able to cope with the fact that she moved on, despite the fact that HE has been sticking his fangs into every single relative that comes his way.

Sookie – 5, Douchey – 1

“Believe it or not, my existence does not revolve around what or WHO is between your legs,” Bill retorts . . .

OK . . . now, even I have to admit . . . that was pretty darn funny . .

Sookie – 5, That vampire Stephen Moyer plays on True Blood – 2

SOOKIE: “So, you buy my house, and you think my legs are going to magically pop open for you?” (ANSWER- YES!)

ERIC: “Hi King Bill, my name is Eric Northman. I am both the WHAT and the WHO between Sookie’s legs. 

Sookie then pleads for Bill’s leniency, and refuses to leave without her Amnesia Eric.  This wasn’t exactly a witty retort.  However, Sookie gets a point for this, just because it shows how much she loves Amnesia Eric, which pleases my Seric-loving heart to no end.

Sookie -6, Grandkid f*&ker -2

But then, Bill takes Eric away ANYWAY, and instructs his minions to throw Sookie out as a trespasser, if she ever comes on his property again.

Uh oh . .  .

Sookie – 6, Bill (the CHEATER!) – 2072.

GAME OVER, SOOKIE . . . at least, FOR NOW . . .

Smells Like Death (Tastes Like Chicken)

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You know, for the last two weeks, I couldn’t even look at poor Face Off Pam, because she was so hideous looking, that she made me want to vomit.  But Near-Death, Face Off Pam is oddly adorable, with her peekaboo blanket, and Kewpie Doll Eyes.  Thanks Alan Ball, for letting me hang on to my dinner this week . . .

Eric is chilling in Ye Olde Jailhouse of Vampire Bill (where, at this rate, HALF the cast will be residing, by season’s end).  However, as it turns out, he’s not alone.  His progency, Face Off Pam is there too.

You know, seeing this, I couldn’t help but wonder how DUMB King Bill is, to think that it wouldn’t be the LEAST bit risky to put two allies, who are BOTH arguably under a necroblahblahblahs influence, in the same cell together.  I mean, that’s just ASKING for trouble, don’t you think?

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Pam thinks so too, which is why she quickly reveals herself as the stench of death that Amnesia Eric smells.  You can see a bit of Eric’s old “father-daughter” connection with Pam, when he compels her to remove her security blanket from her face.  He then, sadly, gently asks her whether she is afraid.

Perhaps, it is Eric’s indication that he still cares for Pam, that prompts her to try to get him to remember who he truly IS.  Hint:  He’s NOT someone who would EVER bow down to a self-loathing, power hungry, pompous dork, like Bill Compton.  (Her words.  . . not mine.)

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Unfortunately, for Pam, Amnesia Eric has decided (for now, at least) that he no longer wants to remember his old life, and that the eating, screwing and laughing Viking Vampire he used to be is no longer (unless he’s eating, screwing and laughing with SOOKIE, of course).

Denial Ain’t A River in Egypt (It’s a Stick up King Cockblock’s ASS)

Hello, my name is Nan Flanaghan.  My facial expression hasn’t changed in 1,000 years.  Who needs Botox, when you have Bloodbox?” 

When the alarm on Bill’s balls rings, he logs in to his daily Skype session with the woman who has those twins in a vice grip.  Desperately seeking a pat on the forehead or a doggie treat, Bill tells Nan that he has the necromaniboobla and Eric in his custody.

“Please tell me I’m a Good Boy, and validate my continued existence on this Earth.” 

Nan boredly asks what King Cockblock would like to do about this little “situation.”  In response, Bill (SURPRISE!) recommends that AmnesiaEric be given the True Death (AND NOT WITCHIEPOO?  Does that make sense to anyone else?) because ERIC is having hot glorious sex with Sookie under the witch’s power, and is, therefore a way better lover than BEEELL could ever be a “danger to himself and others.”  Nan agrees to “look” into it, and reminds Bill that he has a “tolerance meeting” coming up.  Riiiiight, because Mr. Kill Now, Ask Questions Later, is just the epitome of “tolerant.”

In Cockblock’s defense, he looks like he feels guilty about sentencing Eric to the True Death . . . for about two seconds . . . but then he gets over it, because, apparently guilt isn’t “Kingly”  Who knew?

Someone Buy Evil Baby a Cabbage Patch doll, or something . . . please?


Because that Ugly Ass Doll has just GOT to go!

When we last left Arlene and Terry, things were really heating up between them.  Unfortunately, I mean that literally . . .

The not-too-swift couple awakens to find their house bursting into flames.  Terry rushes to collect the other children and his pet Armadillo, while Arlene searches the house frantically for her suddenly FAVORITE son (even though she was deathly afraid of and hated him for the past four episodes).  The family rushes to the safety of the street, just about two seconds ,before the entire interior of the house literally goes up in smoke!

Arlene is now wailing hysterically, because she never found Evil Baby, and now he is probably Barbecue Baby.  But wait!  He’s OUTSIDE.  In fact, he’s been there since right before the fire started . . . almost as if SOMEONE came and got him out of there, personally.  Could it be the weird ghost lady seen waving at Evil Baby toward the end of the scene?  Quite possibly . . .

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But, hey, as long as the baby armadillo is OK, than I’m OK!

In other news, Andy Bellefleur thinks Sam is a slumlord, because people keep getting shot up, possessed, and burned up in the apartments he rents out.  I’m inclined to agree.  (Just don’t eat my face for it, Sam. Mmm-kay?)

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Speaking of Andy, being a V addict has apparently done WONDERS for his sex life!  Here’s Holly, who JUST HAD HER HOUSE, more or less, burnt to a crisp, and Andy STILL MANAGES to score a date with her!  How’s that for class?

“If he can lift that couch, imagine what he could do with me?” 

And, to think, SHE’S not even a relative of his . .  . PORTIA!

Tommy Merlotte – A New Kind of Cockblock . . .

There are SO many ways to misread this picture . . . 

They say you can never truly know a person, until you have walked a mile in his shoes.  Well, I would venture to guess that the same general concept applies to his skin.  It all starts when Sam calls Tommy  — who is still reeling from MURDERING BOTH OF HIS PARENTS and feeding them to the alligators along with some marshmallows . . .

He then asks his baby brother to open the bar on his behalf.  This results in Tommy Boy having what I like to refer to as a “Man in the Mirror” Moment.  That cliched scene, you see in many TV shows and films in which someone LITERALLY looks in the mirror, and DOESN’T like what they see.  But, fear not Fangbangers, this, otherwise dull Man-in-The-Mirror Moment comes with a bit of a twist


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That’s right, boys and girls!  We guessed correctly.  Having killed his Ma and Pa, Tommy is now, for better or worse, a skinwalker, and his first shift, is into SAM.

Kudos to Sam Trammell for pulling off “Tommy/Sam” with aplomb, this week If you didn’t always get such lame storylines, I’d probably like your character a lot more.  Though “Tommy/Sam” looks exactly like Sam, he is actually VERY different in that:

(1) he walks like he perpetually has a poop in his pants;

(2) he hits on the female bar patrons, like it’s his job;

(3) and . . . oh yeah . . . he is a TOTAL douchebag (Well . . . Sam is too sometimes, I guess, but Tommy/Sam is way worse.)

Tommy/Sam started off his day, by telling a tearful Sookie that, NO, she can’t take off YET ANOTHER day of work to go hunting for Sex Toy Eric Northman.  Why?  You ask?  Well, she pretty much ALWAYS takes off from work, and gets away with it . . .  because she  is Sookie.  And Sookie smells like “Sunshine in a pretty blonde bottle.”

“Don’t you at least want to sniff my butt before I go?”

The funny thing is that as AWFUL Tommy is to go behind Sam’s back and fire his favorite employee who he is secretly in love with, Tommy/Sam kind of had a point.  I mean, think about it, Sookie spent the entire Second Season in Dallas, and the entire THIRD Season in Mississippi.  Then she spent a YEAR hanging with the fairies.  Don’t you think her vacation time should be finished by now?

Though Sookie is certainly not doing it intentionally, I think Tommy is right in assuming that the blonde fairy princess takes advantage of Sam, by using his obvious attraction to her to get what she wants.

Other people Tommy/Sam manipulated this week include:

(1) Jessica, who he promoted from hostess to waitress (Well . . . that was kind of a nice thing to do, but still);

Tommy always did have a bit of a hard-on for her. 

(3) Maxine, who told him what she REALLY thought of Tommy Boy (Hint:  He’s dumber than a box of rocks, and not quite as kind); and

Hint: Not much . . . 

(4) Luna who .  . . well .  . .  he engaged in some VERY awkward sex with, only to VIOLENTLY kick her out of the house, the following morning, so she wouldn’t see him change from Tommy/Sam into just plain old Tommy.  (Now THAT was just wrong.)

You know, of all people, you would think that Luna, a skinwalker herself, would catch on to EXACTLY what Tommy /Sam was trying to do!  But, NOPE!  It was just a bit more mindless sex for her with the guy wearing Sam’s skin . . .

After the whole ordeal is over, Tommy shifts BACK into his own body, retching disgustingly in the sink, before he  falls to the ground, unconscious.  He’s still laying there like THAT, when Sam finally comes home to find him.  I’d say there’s a chance he might not wake up, but that would be REALLY naive of me.  We just aren’t that lucky.

Speaking of altered states . . .

It’s the Great Brujo, Charlie Brown . . .

“I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your creepy goat killer’s shack down . . .” 

Grandpa Goatlicker is pretty obviously still pissed at Jesus, for escaping his evil clutches at age seven or so.  So, to get revenge, he forces the poor twenty something and his boyfriend to wait in the bushes for their horse drawn carriage to come, and rescue them Cinderella-style spirit animal to meander on over, and request to be murdered “for a good cause.”

The whole exchange between Laffy and Jesus in the woods kind of reminds me of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown children’s special . . .

Jesus is Linus, the staunch believer, even in the face of Laffy (Charlie Brown’s) sincerely doubting voice.  But just when you’ve started to write of Grandpa Ghostlicker as a sociopathic wackadoo, a poisonous snake arrives at Jesus’ feet, ripe and ready to croak.

And croak he does .  . . until Grandpa Goat Licker brings it back to life, and instructs it to issue a deadly poisonous bite to his own grandson.

I’m not entirely sure how Grandpa GoatLicker knows this.  However, he somehow seems to sense that Laffy is a  gateway to the dead.  (DAMMIT!  Are there NO humans left on this show?)  So, not long after Jesus starts to lose consciousness, Laffy starts speaking in Spanish, and harnessing the power of an old dead relative of Jesus’ to bring him back to life.

Interesting . . .

Of course, as we know, Laffy isn’t the only witch with the power to get possessed by dead people (which, when you think about it, is actually a pretty lame “magical power.”)  Witchiepoo’s got “the gift” as well . . .

Witchiepoo . . . I SEE YOU!

“You know, before I got this part, I auditioned for the role of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?  Wanna see?  Hiiiiiyaaah!” 

So, we’ve got Witchiepoo all sad and locked up in her little Beel-created prison.  She’s crying to her inner witch goddess to help her out ONCE AGAIN.  (Geez!  Talk about a NAG!)  So, we are treated to a few more of those truly disturbing flashbacks in which INNER witch is raped and tortured by vampires, and Witchiepoo is forced to watch.

That’s when it happens.  Witchiepoo slits her wrist, asks INNER witch to USE HER to accomplish her goals.  And POOOF!   INTO Witchiepoo’s mouth Inner Witch goes!

OPEN WIDE, Witchiepoo!  Here comes the choo-choo train!

We learn from the flashbacks that INNER witch and her coven were able to control a whole slew of raping and torturing vampires, causing them to SEEMINGLY willingly walk into the sun and burn to death, while the public watched in horror.  Now, I suspect, the same thing is going to happen to Mr. Clean the Vampire Sheriff .  . .


Admittedly, Mr. Clean was not so MISTER CLEAN, back when he gleefully raped and repeatedly bit Inner Witch a long time ago.  And NOW, it looks like Mr. Clean is about to become Mr. Definitely Dead, when he dazedly enters the lions den of the newly-possessed Witchiepoo’s cage and falls to his knees with a petrified, but dazed, look on his face.

Witchiepoo stares down at Mr. Clean with a haughty look on her face, “Ya little f*&k,” she calls him.

Little f*&k, indeed . . .

Nice knowing ya, Mr. Clean . . . (Well . . . not really nice, but whatever . . .)

Night of the Living Werepanther?

“Why do I always seem to wind up like THIS?” 

Poor Jason Stackhouse!  Kidnapped raped, and defiled by crazy inbred werepanthers, left to die on the side of the road, and forced to endure strange sex dreams about his best friend’s girlfriend AND his best friend . . .

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No wonder he’s hiding out in his room, chained to a bedpost . . . wait . . . huh?

Well, it’s taken a few episodes, but Sookie finally seems to remember that she has a brother, and that he hasn’t been around, recently . . .

So,  off she rushes to Jason’s bedside, where she finds him cuffed to the bed.  Of course, her first inquiry is, “Is this a SEX thing?”

Which it isn’t . . .  for once.

In fact, this is a decidedly NON-Sex thing.  Jason has merely decided to take certain precautions, just in case his inner inbred werepanther should decide to make an appearance, due to the Full Moon.  He’d prefer not to eat his friends and family, thank you very much.  “I ain’t never going to forgive myself, if I bite your head off,” offers Jason sweetly.  (Now, that’s BROTHERLY LOVE!)

“But once you turned, wouldn’t the cuffs just fall off?”  Sookie wonders, quite rationally.

Oops . . . it looks like someone is going to have to re-read Werepanthers for Dummies again . . .

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Eventually, Sookie uncuffs Jason and convinces him to go ouside and share a beer with her.  You know, with all the craziness going on in this show, it’s been a while since we’ve been treated to a quiet brother / sister moment.  We get a nice one here, when Jason asks Sookie to shoot him in the head, if he starts sprouting fur.  (I’M SERIOUS!  It was a sweet moment, OK!)

“Uh-uh!”  Sookie says.  “That was not part of the deal.”

“But you PROMMISSSSED!”  Jason whines, in his best petulant five-year old voice.

“I said I’d take care of you.”

“What did you think I meant by that, change my kitty litter?”  Jason exclaims . . .

“Please, don’t let Sookie change my kitty litter!  She’ll go off and have sex with Eric, and forget to do it.” 

Sookie, who knows full well, what it’s like to be a supernatural freak, tells Jason that he can’t run from who is, and that he should embrace his inner werepanther, if that’s what he ends up being.    Girlfriend’s like a Supernatural Dr. PHIL!

Eventually, Sookie leaves the porch to go get another beer.  But when she returns, Jason is GONE!

But don’t you worry about Jason, kiddies!  He’s in good hands . . . specifically, the hands of the women who fed him his blood, and can now FEEL HIS FEELINGS . . .

Yes, I suspect she can feel THOSE feelings too! 

Jessica is working at Merlotte’s, when she FEELS Jason . . . um, well, she feels HIS FEAR I should say we’ll save the more fun stuff for later!, and decides to go outside, and comfort him . . .

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When Jason admits to Jessica that this might be the night of his first werepanther turning, the baby vampire, remembering HER first night turning into a supernatural creature, decides to spend the night with him, so that he doesn’t have to endure his transformation alone.  *insert porn music here*

So, of COURSE, you all know what MY TVD brain was thinking about, don’t you?

That’s right, boys and girls!  Here, we have yet another reason why Caroline Forbes and Baby Vamp Jessica are kindred spirits, who, unfortunately, may never meet except in the context my fanfiction, of course . . .

I have to say, I adored the sweetness and innocence of the way Jason and Jessica related to one another.  As Jason said, he’s not exactly someone known for his IMPULSE control . . .

And the fact that Jason chooses Jessica’s boobs as his “happy place,” while she comforts him through his panic attack, certainly does not bode well for his ability to remain loyal to his best friend for the long haul.  But for now, Jason and Jessica are simply two individuals, who are chastely trying to put aside their romantic feelings for one another, in order to protect the heart of someone they both care about VERY deeply . . .

Well . . . maybe not THAT deeply. 

Given what he has been through, and their innate connection, Jessica finds herself able to relate and confide in Jason, in ways she can’t with Hoyt, who always seems so squeamish about the whole Vampire Thing.  “It’s exciting,” admits Jessica of her newly vampire status, a dreamy look in her eyes.  “I am fast, and strong.   I can smell and taste things that I never smelled and tasted before.  My world used to be small.  But now it is endless.”

Together Jessica and Sookie have been so very good at selling Jason on this whole Supernatural thing, that by the time the end of the night comes, he’s actually disappointed that he DIDN’T change into a werepanther.  “Why did Sookie get all the special?”  He pouts adorably.

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“How could YOU not think you are special?”  Jessica wonders out loud.  “You have the virility of a wild animal, and the body of an Adonis.  I would very much like to f*&k you right now for hours and hours on end.” 

Well, how could Jason not be turned on by an admission like that?   Sitting close to one another, in the moonlight, limbs touching, faces inches a part, there comes the inevitable moment in which Jason and Jessica almost kiss.  But it’s Jason, Mr. No Impulse Control, himself who breaks the spell, all for the love of a good man named Hoyt.

The two fumble their goodbyes, giving eachother friendly shoulder pounds, and vowing not to tell their friend about THIS.

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But, honestly, when people this attractive are mutually attracted to one another, it’s really only a matter of time before the BONING starts . . .

Sorry, Hoyt!  Sometimes the truth hurts . . . 

We come now to two stories, I honestly don’t care all that much about . . .

Meet Tara Thornton and Packmaster Marcus . . . again . . .zzzzzzzzz . . . OMG SERIC SEX, YESSSSS!

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There’s nothing like a heaping helping of Hot Hate Sex to really start an evening out right . . .

Last week, Tara’s new girlfriend discovered that Tara’s name is not Toni, and that she doesn’t hail from Georgia.  So, Guest Star travels down to Bon Temps all the way from New Orleans, to give her a piece of her mind.  Except .  . . she ends up giving her a piece of . . . um . . . well . . .  something else.

In between screw and necking sessions, Tara gives her girlfriend the full Bon Temps tour, complete with a trip to Merlotte’s and .  . . the parking lot at Merlotte’s.  Tara’s girl seems surprisingly OK with the whole “the woman you love has been lying to you about EVERYTHING for six-months thing.”  So, I guess the sex must be REALLY good.  However, before the “Happy Couple” can broach the issue of whether Tara will return to New Orleans, Faceoff Pam materializes.  And she . . . is . . . PISSED!

Be afraid Special Guest Star!  Be VERY afraid! 

Blah, blah, blah, Debbie needs a new were-pack to stay sober in Bon Temps  . . .

 Debbie Downer and Packmaster Greasypoo

blah, blah, blah Alcide is whipped, and decides to attend the new pack meeting, against his better judgment . . .

 Your storyline may be SUPER boring this season, Alcide.  But you still look DAMN sexy, when you are angry!

On the way to their pack meeting, Debbie Downer and Alicide run into a Gun-Toting, One-Woman Search Party for Jason, Sookie, who pisses them off, (but mostly just Debbie Downer) by comparing them to those slimy rape-loving werepanthers.

“Hey, if the fur fits . . .” 

To Sookie’s relief, Alcide informs her that, NO, to his knowledge a human cannot get turned into a werepanther, simply by being bitten.  Thrilled, Sookie dashes back through the forest, as a hungry-eyed Alcide watches her, undoubtedly wishing that the two of hem could engage in SHOOTING of an entirely different sort.  Debbie notices the bedroom eyes on her boyfriend, and is CLEARLY not amused . . .

“I’ll get you my HUNKY . . . and your little FAIRY too!”

Still screaming her lungs out in her trademark nails on chalkboard voice for Jason,  Sookie encounters another man in the forest . . .

“I’m baacccck!” 

BUT WAIT!  HOW DID MY LOVERBOY REMOVE HIMSELF FROM THE CLUTCHES OF EVIL BILL?  Let’s backtrack a moment . . .

“I was born the night she found me.”

Back at King Cockblock’s Castle, Beeel’s goons bring out a very-docile Amnesia Eric, who is ready and accepting of the King’s decision to give him the true death.  “From what I’ve been told, I was a barbarian thug, who never respected your authority . . . He is a stranger to me.  I have nothing to say in his defense.”

Once again, Bill is taken back by Amnesia Eric’s calm acceptance of what is about to happen to him.  So, taken aback, in fact, that he allows Amnesia Eric to make two last requests. (1) “Release Pam, at the rate she is decomposing, she can no longer be any threat to you.” AND . . . here’s the big one.

(2) “Tell Sookie I was born the night that she found me, and because of her, I went to the True Death, knowing what it means to love.”

All together now, AWWWW!

Bill of course, is nauseated by this oddly sentimental showing of affection for his ex, by his sworn enemy, at least until Eric bangs him on the head with this . . . “[Sookie] still cares for you.  After I am gone, I hope you two will find your way back to eachother . . . because she deserves happiness from whoever can give it to her.”

Well, that did it . .  . cue the water works!  The last thing we see, is a very mopey-faced Bill preparing to bring his fancy schmancy stake down on Amnesia Eric’s head.

But THEN we cut to THIS . . .

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WOOHOO!  YIPPPEEE!  YEEHAW!

Well, well, well . . . look who went and grew a soul!

I never thought I’d say this, but THANK YOU BILL!  Thank you for giving us Fangbangers the gift of Seric Sex!  Feel free to go lay as many ancestors as you’d like now!  I promise I won’t judge . . . much.

See you next week, Fangbangers!

18 Comments

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18 responses to “Animal Magnetism (and How it Can Help Get You Laid) – A Recap of True Blood’s “I Wish I Was the Moon”

  1. East Coast Captain

    Phenomenal episode last night but a few things bummed me out.

    Jason not becoming a werepanther, I thought they were going to do that. He was in the books.

    Anyway Bill was real douchy in this episode but what saved him was Eric´s speech, I believe he did it out of mercy because he was moved by Eric´s speech and who wasn´t.

    As for Sheriff Luis, he got what´s coming to him imagine someone who died centuries ago coming back for revenge because you raped them and fed on them, I´d be a little terrified too and he was. Those vampires in 1610 got what they deserved but there coming after our heroes.

    I like the Jason and Jessica scene, it was touching.

    As for Tommy, he´s going to get his ass kicked. He banged Luna in Sam´s skin.

    • Hey there, East Coast Captain! You know, I’m still not 100% sure Jason WON’T become a werepanther. He still might. As in most mythologies, the rules for bitten weres in TB world, are different from those of born weres. So, it’s still possible that Jason’s werepanther-ism is lying dormant in his system, waiting to be triggered by . . . something.

      I do think that, in his own way, Bill does care for Sookie, which was why he ultimately decided to have mercy on Eric. On the other hand, I don’t give Bill as much credit as other recappers do for this one NON-Douchey act. Because, as you mentioned, sparing Eric’s life, was not just the KIND thing to do, it was also the “kingly” thing to do. After all, Bill could see full well that Eric is not a threat to him, in his current state. So, if Bill WAS to kill Eric — a sheriff in his kingdom, and well-respected vampire — he’d have to admit to himself that he was doing it, not to protect his people, but, rather, out of pure unadulterated jealousy. And Bill has WAY too much pride to be able to accept himself for making that kind of decision.

      In some ways, I prefer the way Hallow is portrayed in True Blood to the way she was portrayed in the book. In Dead to the World, there was no Marnie. There was just Hallow, and she was an evil witch who seemed to kill supernaturals just for the fun of it. Here, both Marnie and Hallow, though clearly NUTS, are, at least partially sympathetic characters: Marnie for her weakness, and perpetual inability to be the witch she feels she’s entitled to be; Hallow because she spent the early part of her existence, being repeatedly beaten and tortured by men and vampires, and watching her friends and coven mates suffer the same fate. And who wouldn’t come out of an experience like that, a bit bitter toward the opposite sex? 🙂

      Oh, yes, Jason’s and Jessica’s scene was touching . . . both romantically, and erotically, if you catch my drift. 😉

      Someone should have explained to Tommy the concept of Bro’s Before Ho’s, because, if anyone is itching for a beating right now, it’s THIS GUY! 🙂 Thanks again for your fabulous commentary. It is very much appreciated.

  2. Lauren Knott

    Finally. Finally! FINALLY!!

  3. MarBar

    First of all, I have been reading your reviews (Boardwalk Empire, Vampire Diaries), for a while now. I love them!

    I’m new to True Blood. I just started watching this season with the encouragement of my cousin who gave me a brief rundown of the Sookie/Beeel/Eric triangle. After the first episode, I immediately became hooked! I impatiently wait for Sunday to arrive so I can have my date with Eric Northman! And finally, after weeks of waiting, the moment I’ve been dying for arrived!

    Tommy being able to shift into Sam was really annoying. And how dumb is Sam’s superhot g/f? How can she not tell it was Tommy? Can Tommy just get killed off already?

    Evil Baby was very adorable this episode. How they got a baby to smile and reach out for the ghost lady was so cute! I want to hug that baby!

    I can’t wait to find out how the witch story is going to play out. What’s going to stop her from making vampires meet the sun? She was able to do it once before after all. Will the decomposing of Pam spell reverse? I wonder if drinking Sookie blood would help…?

    • Hey MarBar! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I’m so honored that you’ve been enjoying my recaps. I can already see, based on the shows you watch, that we both share spectacular taste in television! 😉

      I’m also thrilled to see that you’ve decided to jump on the True Blood train! Welcome aboard! 🙂 Special thanks to HBO, True Blood, and Eric Northman for converting what could amount to some seriously depressing Sundays, into evenings filled with sexual gratification, snark, and entertainment galore for all of us Fangbangers / Truebies. 🙂

      That IS one cute Evil Baby . . . not to mention a darn good actor! I seriously doubt I’d be capable of smiling and giggling on cue, as effortlessly as that baby can! No joke. Give that Devil Spawn a Toddler Oscar! 🙂

      Ooh . . . I LOVE your idea of Sookie curing Pam’s “condition” by allowing the vampire to drink her blood. I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the route the writers ultimately decide to take. Of course, as we know, Fairy Blood makes vampires drunk. So, Sookie better watch her step! That being said, I think a drunk, disinhibited, Pam would be absolutely hilarious. I wonder if she’d hit on Sookie? 🙂 Pam does “swing that way,” after all! 😉

  4. I think I can safely say I love this season a whole lot more than last season, which was surprisingly sexless. No such disappointment here ^.^ And I actually like most of the side plots, too. It will be fun to see how some of them will come together in the end.

    Can you hear that splash? It’s me jumping ship… sorry Hoyt. I guess it’s the Forwood similarities that finally did it, though I had been wavering since last week when Jess gave him her blood. I haven’t read the books, but isn’t Jason supposed to become a werepanther? But I suppose with the rules here being that being a were is a hereditary condition, I guess I’m okay with that too. Jason is virile enough as it is 😛

    I like that Tommy’s the skinwalker now, since he seems to have a penchant for villainy. Having him thoroughly mess up Sam’s life further will be fun… btw, how awesome was Sam Trammell this ep? He got Tommy’s mannerisms down pat. I agree that if his story lines weren’t so lame, Sam would definitely be an awesome character.

    As for Seric, I definitely hated Beeelll when he suggested true death for Amnesiac Eric. It just reeked of jealousy and spite. Luckily he came around in the end, but I still can’t forgive him. How can a king think so lightly of the (un)lives of his own kind is beyond me. Then again, he did use such a cowardly way to get rid of the Queen, so I guess this is all right up his alley. And yay for Sookie and Eric’s hot and heavy sexing in the woods.

    And since you have mentioned it soooo many times, i really hope the shower scene is in store for us soon. Nothing like hot water, steam and soap to get the mood going!

    Thanks for the great review, as always!

    p.s.

    Was Joe Lee really Tommy’s biological father? Can’t remember.

    • Hey Fauvish! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. I’m sorry for taking so long to reply. I’m moving this week, and I feel like packing boxes are taking over my life!

      But enough about me. Let’s talk about TB! You know, now that you mention it, Season 3 of True Blood WAS pretty sexless. In fact, thinking back now, I can’t think of one smoking hot sex scene from the ENTIRE season of the show. Hmm . . . I wonder why. Maybe the writers thought they needed a break from all the naked (and not all of it GOOD naked, either) of the Maenad Season? 😉

      This season, not only are we getting LOTS of great sex scenes, we are getting to witness sex by people who are ACTUALLY ENJOYABLE TO WATCH, get busy: Sookie and Eric, Jessica and Jason (via dream sequence), Jason and the . . . well, those parts weren’t so enjoyable, but still! 🙂

      And I think you are absolutely right about all the different sideplots coming together by the end of the season. I can already see that Devil Baby thing being somehow related to voodoo or witchcraft. And that greasy packmaster will connect Alcide’s storyline with Luna’s, Sam’s, and I guess Tommy’s? Still scratching my head on how Jason’s whole werepanther thing fits in . . .

      Speaking of Jason, this line in your comment just made me smile endlessly: “Can you hear that splash? It’s me jumping ship… sorry Hoyt.” I think you bring up a great point about the Forwood Connection, being one of the things that is so gosh darn appealing about this couple. Like Forwood, in addition to both halves of this couple being SUPER SEXY and charming in their own way, what makes Jason and Jess “work” better than Hoyt and Jess is the whole supernatural connection. (I STILL think Jason is going to go werepanther, eventually. But that’s just me.)

      I feel like, as sweet and loveable as Hoyt is (and he’s a HECK of a lot more loveable that dull as Matt on TVD, that’s for sure), there’s a part of him –most likely stemming from his being raised by Maxine — that doesn’t entirely accept Jessica’s vampire side. He’s OK with it, as long as she hides it. And that’s just not healthy for her. I feel like Jason — who was raised by Grams, and, after his whole Season 2 cult experience, has learned the hard way that sometimes supernatural folks are more tolerant and god-fearing than humans — is more willing to love Jessica for all the cool things that make her who she is, including her vampire strength, speed, and her healing blood. 🙂

      Tommy would probably love Jessica for these things too, but . . . meh! 🙂

      I’m also with you on Bill being not quite deserving of our respect and forgiveness just yet. Sure, he made the right decision at the last minute, but only after being a total douche for an entire episode. I definitely feel like the “power” of being king has gone to his head. He’s worse than Queen Sophie Anne! At least she knew exactly what she was, and didn’t hold herself out as this righteous being. Hopefully, the final moments of the episode represent a turning point in BEEL’s character, in terms of his developing at least SOME humility.

      (I still want Sookie with Eric, though. Nothing is going to change that, of course!)

      Judging by the rate Seric is progressing, I’m going to GUESS that the Shower Scene is going to come up either this coming week, or the week, after that. SQUEE! I can’t wait! 🙂

      Thanks for your awesome insights, and for talking TB with me. This was fun!

  5. imaginarymen

    Of all the great nicknames you’ve coined, “King Cockblock” may be my very favorite!!

    There are just TOO many storylines going on right now. Some suggestions for trimming the fat: Devil Baby, Jesus and Grandpa (but not Lafayette, bring him back to BT!), Alcide and Debbie (unless he’s shirtless, I just don’t care), Tommy (unless he’s Skinwalking Sam bc Sam Trammell NAILED that complicated playing a character playing a character bit), and as always – TARA TARA TARA ;-pp

    Oh but how I HEART Jason Stackhouse!! I would like there to be a spin-off of “Deep Thoughts in the Woods with Jason Stackhouse in a Tank Top” where he ruminates on the great questions of our time – like why he’s extra good at sex and shooting ;-00

    I like the chemistry w/ him and Jessica – although I hate how it’s going to have to shake out with my beloved Hoyt 😦 And I know it’s in the books – but I hope the were-panther thing doesn’t happen. Him having various issues over dealing with Sookie’s supernaturalism gives a nice little wrinkle to the Stackhouse sibling relationship and gives Jason some depth (which he always needs.) So I for one, hope it’s done – although I’m sure it is not.

    (also – poor Ryan Kwanten – always shackled to something for half the season! At least this time around his shirtlessness wasn’t ruined by stupid bites and scratches.)

    Pam, as always, rocks – loved her screaming at Amnesia Eric. I just hope she gets her face back. I’m totally loving Sookie this season – after being totally indifferent to her for most of the series. Her standing up to Bill is pretty awesome. And I find her chemistry w/ Amnesia Eric much more interesting to watch than with Evil Eric. Much like the Stefan/Katherine chemistry is hotter than the Stefan/Elena chemistry even though it is all the same actors.

    I think the hot, rip your clothes off, have you right here right now opening scene was sexier than the sweet, tender making love under the moon and stars one at the end. Not sure what that says about ME….but either way – Hell Yeah!!

    Also – I can’t even IMAGINE the strangeness of having to shoot that day! Who do you think was most uncomfortable about it? Paquin, Moyer or Skarsgaard? ;-000 Wish it was a DVD extra. (speaking of, did you read Mandi’s EW recap?!)

    • OMG THIS: “Deep Thoughts in the Woods with Jason Stackhouse in a Tank Top”

      I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH THIS SHOW! Put it on my television screen NOW! I’m serious about this, Amy. Do you, by chance, have any network connections? We could make a MINT with this idea. Oh, and I would gladly volunteer to be the one responsible for the “lighting” on Jason’s arms and abs. And if the call came for someone to rub oil on his body, well, I’d take one for the team, and do that too. 😉

      You know, I was thinking about you, my faithful Hoyt Shipper, when this whole Jasica thing was going down. I said to myself, “choosing between Hoyt and Jason Stackhouse, must be a total Sophie’s Choice, for Amy.” I’m with you on hoping Hoyt won’t get hurt. But hey, Jessica always has the option of compelling Hoyt’s attraction and pain a way, a la Bill and Portia . . . well, maybe not that extreme. 🙂

      You know me. I’m always up for a solid TVD / TB parallel to obsess over. And you’ve picked out a great one here with Amnesia Eric and Bad Boy Eric versus Elena and Katherine. You know, under the circumstances, I’m actually surprised at how much I enjoy Amnesia Eric and Sookie, considering I usually prefer my couplings to be Good Girl / Bad Boy and Bad Boy / Good Girl respectively. (Hence, my Delena and Kefan loyalties.) Amnesia Eric and Sookie is definitely a Good Boy / Good Girl pairing. But, I guess Alex Skarsgard is hot enough to override my natural distaste for / boredom with TV Good Boys. 🙂

      I’m guessing Anna Paquin was the most uncomfortable sexing up Alex in front of her husband. Based on their respective temperments in interviews, I feel like the guys would have been able to laugh off the awkwardness better than she would. Of course, I could be wrong, and Anna could have just LOVED doing it. I know I would have.

      Oh, and Mandi’s recap was spectacular, as per usual. She continues to be my recapping idol. 🙂

  6. serendipity

    Hi Julie! Great recap 😉 as always!

    How on earth do you keep track of all of those storylines? Watching TB is starting to feel like reading Tolstoj – not my favourite way to spend an evening 😦 So I’m only commenting on a few storylines… the ones that didn’t crack my jaw yawning 😉

    First and foremost: ERIC! Eric comes from an age when a king was still a king, and was called ‘my liege’. Kind of sexy, no, the way he bowed his head in submission and said that so earnestly? Who wouldn’t want a vassal like Eric Northman wearing only (well, that was a little bit of a letdown) whatever it was he was wearing… Kind of a feat, no? Getting into Sookie’s pants in spite of that awful fashion statement…? Kudos to the sheriff LOL 😉

    I do think the vamps are looking slightly better on the whole this season (well, apart from flaking Pam: give the lady her face back, please, AB!), as if they’re getting slightly more sleep (less red rimmed eyes), even our pompous ass of a king 😉

    And hey, I was so wondering what stuck-up Nan Flanagan was up to when King Bill was talking to her? It so looked to me like she was getting some action off-screen 😀

    Speaking of getting some action… I cannot imagine Sam and Tommy smelling the same to someone who should be good in the olfactory department, i.e. Luna, another shifter… You’d think she’d smell him during… um… instead of just jumping him like she does… but then again, I’m not THAT emotionally involved in this storyline…

    And AB seems to nix the were panther idea for Jason, abandoning the book storyline. He totally had me fooled there! Him and Jessica… wow… HOT! Sparks were totally flying there. If Jason had made the right move right, she’d have been a goner! You could just tell by the way she was eating him up with her eyes… I foresee heartbreak in Hoyt’s future. And I was all for Hoyt/Jessica, but man… Jason and Jessica are gonna steam over the windows big time!

    And finally … smooth-talking Eric displays why panties are dropping for him all over the world… ‘I was born the night she found me’… awww *worldwide melt in little puddles* … Before he proceeds to talk his head out of Bill’s noose, or rather to ‘unman’ Bill, disarming him with words as effectively as he would by using muscle 😀 And just to say we will never be happy: I loved the Sookie/Eric love scene at the end, but more because IT finally happened than for the sex-scene itself… I’m with Imaginary Men in preferring the opening scene to the closing one: that was a little … goody-goody, perhaps? Come on, AB, give us some steamy shower sex… 😉

    Maybe better next week!

    • Tolstoj? Oh my! I wonder what HIS thoughts are on shower sex? 😉

      Hey Valerie! Thanks so much for your brilliant commentary! I was smiling the whole time I was reading it. I’m sorry, I’ve been so lame about responding to comments, this week. I’m moving this weekend, and it’s pretty much eaten my life. Hopefully, things will calm down a bit, once I am settled.

      You know, I wouldn’t mind if Eric Northman called me “my liege” in bed. 😉 Seriously! Hottest pet name, ever . . . especially coming from him.

      You bring up a great point about that AWFUL outfit Eric’s been wearing these past few episodes. It can’t possibly belong to Jason Stackhouse. He has way too much style for that. Maybe it’s Hoyt’s . . . or Sam’s. It kind of makes you wonder just how much of yourself you lose while suffering from amnesia. Because, I always assumed Eric’s solid fashion sense was a part of who he was. Remember the panty dropper blue sweater? The blue jump suit? The leather pants? The black button down shirt? The bed time boxers? I could keep going . . .

      I can just imagine Eric waking up from his amnesia state, and seeing pictures of himself in that weird hoodie. He’d probably start crying. But then he’d remember that the ridiculous outfit helped save him from the true death AND get into Sookie’s panties, and then he will feel much better. 😉

      Speaking of vampire appearance, you are right. They’ve definitely eased up on the white face paint in the makeup department, and with good reason. After all, they are supposed to be VAMPIRES not CLOWNS. 🙂 I remember a similar transition happening between the first and second season of TVD as well. No matter how sexy an actor is, a little color in the cheeks is always a good thing. 🙂

      You could be on to something regarding Nan Flanagan. Remember that scene last season with her in the limo? I feel like this is a woman who get’s off on telling people what to do, while others . . . um . . . get her off. LOL.

      As for Jason, I still think he’s going to shift. Jason’s always been a bit of a “slow starter.” Maybe the same goes for his werepantherism. I am definitely looking forward to the Jasica courtship: sexual tension, longing, unrequited love, feeling the need to temper your desires, so as to remain loyal to someone who has sacrificed a lot on your behalf. Sound like any other sexy TV couple in the making to you? 😉

      I definitely see what you guys are saying about the comparison between the PRE Sex scene, and the actual sex. I tend to prefer my TV foreplay to be HARD, edgy, and full of unrestrained passion . . . that’s what the opening scene felt like for me . . . like these were two people FINALLY letting go of days of pent up sexual energy, by ravaging eachother in the most self-satisfying and aggressive way possible. The final scene was more . . . slow . . . and sweet. That being said, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t give me a little tingle, while I watched. I mean, this is Eric Northman, after all. 😉

      Speaking of passion, and sexual tension, I would like to remind everyone who hasn’t already to go and read the sexiest little fanfiction, I have ever laid eyes upon.

      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6941538/1/Shadowdancing

      LOVED your latest chapter, Valerie! I’m just waiting until I return to the comfort of my home, so that I can re-read and review 😉

      • serendipity

        Tolstoj on shower sex? Hmm, you got me there… Freud now… he’d know what to do with that for sure 😉
        Hey Julie, I’m very glad I could make you smile 😀 especially since you do the same to me 😉 Just between you and me (well, and whoever reads these comments of course): just seeing your name come up on a review or a mail makes me smile in anticipation 😉

        That outfit… well, I don’t rightfully know where it came from… In the books, Jason goes and buys clothes for him (because who would have clothes big enough to fit our big Viking?)… I’m assuming Eric just doesn’t have a choice about what he’s wearing since he can’t leave the house (hiding from king Bill?), because I totally agree with you that your fashion sense wouldn’t be gone along with your personal memory… he still remembers he’s a vampire and stuff, so I guess some things are still there… Do I remember the blue sweater? Yes siree! Who doesn’t? But I still like him a lot in his regular black tank tops as well… (why do you think Damon wears those kind of things in my fics? LOL)

        Jason… I don’t know… I guess he’d make one sexy black cat… but as the full moon has come and gone, I don’t know… Maybe something still needs to trigger the change? Like eating some raw meat or something (kind of like the TVD vamps have to drink human blood to complete the transition?) Or, heaven forbid, kill someone? But would he then become a real werepanther or something in between? I remember in the books he’s not a full panther … Well, AB is deviating from the shifter storyline on the whole, right? In the books you’ll only be a shifter if you’re the firstborn (like Sam is, and his brother and sister aren’t)? And you need two shifter parents, I think…

        And thanks again for the shout-out! Also, I loved your review, and I am definitely going to answer it soon 😉

        God, so sorry for writing your ears off again, and in a reply no less…

        I hope your move goes off without a hitch (if you can say it like that) and that you’ll be out of the boxes soon!

  7. Ali

    Haha I said to myself..This has to be the shower episode.. the moment I saw the recap was posted like two minutes after the show aired LOL

    It wa snot the shower one, but at least we had Seric SEX..YEIIII

    So…I agree with everyone about the Luna thing. Come on girl… can you tell Sam´s smell from Tommy´s… Lame shifter

    Talking about lame..Wolves zzzzzz Pack zzzzzzzz

    Oh..Tara zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    I have to say I felt a little uncomfortable when in this episode everyone who spoke spanish was mean, evil, or extremely vicious, or voodoo… then I got over it because I´m not that attached of my culture background anyway. Oh, and for those who doe not speak spanish… I have to tell you.. It is almost impossible to understand what they say… So I used the subs as well LOL

    Jason not becoming a were panther… I have to admit I share his feeling. After all that I was a little dissapointed too. But this “those Hotshot f**rs are so dumb they can´t make a werepanther right” was just GOLD

    I´m so in ship Jassica too (or whatever is called…I´m there). Sorry Hoyt

    And jules two things: thanks for going back to Witchiepoo 🙂 and don´t ever ever EVER stop using the zoolander gif. Love u

    • LOL, Next week, Ali . . . the shower scene will be next week! It HAS to be! I mean, where else can you go after hot woodland creature sex, without losing the momentum? And besides, those two were rolling around in the dirt, like it was their job! The shower just seems like a natural progression from there. 😉

      Hmmm . . . you know, I would think that if Tommy took on Sam’s skin, he probably took on his scent as well, since most of our individual scents come from our skin and our pores. That being said, “Sam” was acting so weird and twitchy, I don’t see how Luna wouldn’t have noticed that something was up with him . . . particularly AFTER the sex, when he started going spastic on her. As someone who has undergone human transformations, Luna, of all people, should have known what that looked like.

      Man, with all these wereanimals and skinwalkers wandering Bon Temps, things could get mighty confusing. Alan Ball is going to have to start making the cast wear nametags, otherwise, the viewers will NEVER know who’s on screen. (Except, Eric! We’ll always know when we are watching Eric. Greatness just can’t be copied. ;))

      Regarding the whole Jesus and Grandpa thing, I got the impression that they weren’t speaking traditional Spanish. Weren’t Jesus’ ancestors supposed to be Aztec or Mayan, or something? I just assumed that Grandpa Goatlicker was speaking some sort of a Spanish-like ancient dialect that was specific to where he was from.

      In short, don’t worry! No one is blaming the Spanish speaking countries for Grandpa Goatlicker! 🙂 We just blame Wiccans. (No offense to any Wiccans reading this. Please don’t turn me into a frog. Some of my best friends are Wiccan. ;))

      Speaking of Wiccans, I specifically reminded myself to use Witchiepoo for you! I’m so glad you noticed! And don’t you worry, the zoolander GIF has officially become my True Blood recap “closing credits.” In other words, it’s not going anywhere. 😉 Love you too!

  8. Hahaha King Cockblock made me laugh. I love your recaps god only knows how you managed to keep up with everything I’ve all on remembering what i had to eat for dinner.
    I am sooo glad Sookie & Eric are getting it on he’s so doubly adorable without his memory I always wondered what she saw in Grandpa Bill.
    I’m also sad that Jason didn’t turn into a werepanther he would have been one good looking cat then he could have bit Crazy Crystal’s head off

    • Hey Jellie Bean! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I’m so glad you enjoyed the recap.

      As for remembering things . . . I let you in on a little secret . . . I take notes during the episodes, in order to write my recaps. Shh! Don’t tell anyone, OK? 😉

      Grandpa Beeel, indeed! I know that, technically, Eric is a good deal older than Bill is. But, SERIOUSLY, King Cockblock is such an old fogey, in terms of his personality, and behaviors, that he always seemed to act more like Sookie’s PARENT than her boyfriend. I guess age really is a state of mind, after all! Not to mention, Eric and Sookie LOOK hotter rolling around naked in the forest, than Sookie and Beel, ever did in that nasty cemetery sex scene.

      As for Jason, I’m still holding out for the possibility that he WILL turn into a werepanther. Here’s my theory: Since the werewolves in True Blood aren’t in the habit of biting anyone other than their own kind, they can’t be too sure that individuals CAN’T be, at least partially, turned by biting. And besides, what the heck was the point of all that senseless gang rape, if not for a little Jason the Cat action ;).

      Thanks again for talking True Blood with me. I can’t wait until the next episode. Shower sex, anyone? 😉

  9. Was watching this episode with a friend who is just a casual Truebie, and she was like, “WTF, Sookie was out searching for her brother and just randomly stopped to have sex?”

    I wept at her lack of appreciation for the perfection that is ASkars/Eric Northman. Fear not, I will convert her and help her see the error of her ways.
    I wonder if the sex scene was deliberately set outside to parallel the Bill/Sookie graveyard sex. Eric/Sookie sex was all about intimacy and emotional connection, not a vamp getting high on fairy blood, which really was the feeling I get in retrospect from the Bill/Sookie scene. I know the books established vampire biting during sex as a mix of pleasure and pain, but I liked that Eric’s fangs stayed to himself while other parts of his body didn’t! 😉

    I’m already shivering in anticipation of the scene where Eric’s amnesia goes away or he says goodbye to Sookie knowing his memories are going to be restored, with the new ones created while suffering amnesia disappearing. It’s been a while since I’ve read book four, so I can’t remember how it occurs there. I am curious to see how it all pans out on screen. I think it’s pretty obvious that the amnesia is only going to be temporary… this romance is steeped in tragedy because every moment you never know when it’s going to be lost. I think that was the power of The Notebook for me too. When Allie’s memories were recaptured, you knew it was just a matter of time before she would be lost to Noah again. Not many things get me too worked up, but that definitely does.

    Sam Trammell continues to amaze me with his acting chops. Like Helena Bonham Carter doing Hermione, he had Tommy’s mannerisms and voice inflections down pat. It makes my hurt heart to think what he could do with better material.

    I love Hoyt/Jessica, but I’ll admit that the Forwood-loving strings of my heart were pulled by the Jason/Jessica connection – two bb supes with a mutual understanding forging a bond. So adorable!

    I aww’d when Terry cuddled his pet armadillo!

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