YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Breaking the Code”


Caleb must have accidentally slipped a video from his personal porn collection into the “A” attachment . . .

The Truth hurts sometimes, My Pretties!  And for a group of characters, who have become rather accustomed to spending their lives tiptoeing from one lie to the next, sometimes the pain of facing real, honest-to-goodness, truth can be just about unbearable.  In “Breaking the Code,” all of our PLL girls were forced to confront some pretty ugly truths, both about themselves, and about the people they loved.  How they react to this knowledge will undoubtedly shape the events of these crucial upcoming weeks, as we get closer and closer to finally figuring out the identity of “A”!


So head on over to your favorite abandoned law firm, drink some tequila shots with the hottest doctor in town, and plan a tea party with your mom and boyfriend, because it’s time for another Pretty Little Recap . . .


“Did I catch you in the middle of a nap?”

That Mona!  For a girl who supposedly became Queen B, around the time Princess Ali kicked the bucket, she sure does get the short end of the Friend Stick, where Hanna is concerned.


Between her endless “A” investigations, dramatic family issues, and regular interludes of sex on Spencer’s Nana’s couch with Caleb, it seems as though Hanna constantly has better things to do, than to go shopliftping with Mona.  This, of course, makes Mona’s receipt of text messages from “A” seem more than a bit convenient, don’t you think?


Now, suddenly, Mona has something else to talk to Hanna about, aside from whether she should wear pure silk or a poly blend to some party.  And it’s a good thing too, because life sure seems to be distracting Hanna from the “important things,” lately.  “Did I catch you in the middle of a nap?”  Mona inquires, when Hanna isn’t giving Mona’s new clothing “purchases” the attention the latter feels they deserve.


You know what DOES get Hanna’s attention though  . . . Mona’s admission that “A” has been feeding her intel about Hanna’s mom and Deputy Douchey, that’s what!  You know, like, for example pictures of the two of them making sweet, sweet love IN FRONT OF AN OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW  (Because that’s precisely the place you take all your secret lovers, right?) . . . and police reports about Hanna shoplifting that were expunged, after Mama Marin and Deputy Douchey made sweet, sweet love IN FRONT OF AN OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW.

“Are you looking at my bum?   You dirty bum-looker!” 

This is some pretty damaging stuff!  (Not as damaging as the fact that Mama Marin stole money a dead lady, mind you, but pretty damaging nonetheless.)  Now, suddenly, Hanna is very, very interested in what Mona has to say, indeed . . .


Of course, this is PLL, not Gossip Girl.  So, when “A” shares information with you, it’s not just as an FYI.  Usually there’s a catch involved to knowing certain things, even if you weren’t interested in knowing them in the first place.  Now, “A” is threatening Mona to rat out Mama Marin, or SHE will be the one put under fire for her own pretty little shoplifting habit!


What’s Mona going to do?  Sell out her bestie, in order to ensure her own safety?  It’s not really Hanna’s place to say.   But Mona’s confession does put her in a really awkward position with her friend . . . not to mention, make her feel EXTREMELY guilty.


Fortunately for Hanna, Mona ends up being loyal, and turning herself in for shoplifting instead  . . .


I don’t believe it either, Hanna.

. . . an act of valor which results in her getting to do some PLL-themed community service, like all the other characters in our story.


(Poor Mona!  And she would have been such a good crisis center call responder too . . . such sensitivity to those less fortunate than herself!)

It also earns Mona a spot at the PLL girl’s lunch table . . . an honor she’s been denied, multiple times in the past.  The invitation in question, comes after Mona gets yet another threat from “A,” this time on an apple, of all things.

If I were “A”, I would have probably just written “bite me.”  But I guess this works too . . .  

Hmmm . . . on one hand, I’m happy to see Mona finally getting treated right by Hanna, and accepted into the fold, by the other girls.  She really has come a long way from that girl who ripped up, poured soda on, and tossed out, Caleb’s first declaration of love for Hanna.

And yet, if Mona DID end up being “A,” wouldn’t her sudden receipt of text messages, and act of valor involving Hanna be the PERFECT ALIBI, not to mention a great way to get in close with her victims, and mine them for additional information.  (“Keep your friends close . . . and all that.)


I hope I’m wrong.  But it’s all starting to look mighty suspicious to me.  Speaking of suspicious . . .

“I’m The MONEY!”


I just love when Spencer goes into Law and Order mode!  Her tough-girl rendition of, “I’m the money,” when that creepy Jonah dude met with her and Aria to give them tracer information on the cell phone from whom Ali was getting calls, nearly had me in hysterics.  Too bad they spent $2,000 of Jason’s money, and only got themselves one stinky address.  (I could of told them, the call was from a prepaid cell phone!)


Though the girls initially plan to seek out the address in question immediately, they can’t because Police Boy Garrett is watching them .  . . Correction:  he’s ALWAYS watching them!  And we wonder why so many bad things happen in Rosewood to the teenage population!  It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that all the cops in town are too busy stalking their underage ex girlfriend’s enemies, or diddling the parents of crime suspects, now could it?

Eventually though, the girls manage to give Police Boy the slip long enough to stake out the address.  And it ends up belonging to an old abandoned law firm, and the CREEPIEST LOOKING OLD GUY EVER!  Seriously, I’m talking Freddy Krueger levels of frightening.

“That’s not A!”  Captain Obvious Emily remarks, as the pair dash away from this oldster, and escape the abandoned, but not entirely forgotten, premises.

But wouldn’t it be hilarious, if that was “A”.  Just the idea of this guy sending Mean Girl text messages to Emily, and scrawling threatening letters to Mona on an apple is enough to make me giggle . . .

As much as Jonah’s Ice Cold Tip might have seemed like a red herring at first, the law firm in question actually ends up being linked to not one, but two, characters on the show .  . . one of whom is pretty close to the top of the “A” suspect list.  For starters, it’s the law firm that represented Mama Marin in her divorce from Papa Marin.


 Second, it’s where MELISSA HASTINGS interned, back when she was a student.


But the bigger question for me is, why the hell did the firm shut down, in the first place?  Most law firms don’t just close up shop over night, and sell their real estate to creepy, Freddy Krueger-looking old guys.  Something pretty bad must have gone down at that firm, in order for this to occur . . . just sayin . . .

“The first time I saw you, I just thought, ‘Damn!'”


Ahhh, now for my absolute FAVORITE part of this episode.  While continuing to decode A’s cell phone, Caleb unearths another piece of the same video taken from Ali’s room, that we’ve been viewing part and parcel, for weeks now.  Up until this point, we’ve always assumed that the NAT club was sent scattering from the room, because Ali herself was returning there.  But, as it turns out, the person from whom the NAT club was running wasn’t Ali at all .  . . it was . . .  wait for it . . . a TOTALLY PSYCHO-looking Melissa.  Seriously, girlfriend looked full scale Crazy Nanny Carrie in those video shots!

(I know I keep using them, but I just love these pll-ichats.  They are hilarious!)

No wonder the PLL girls were screaming so loud!  Crazy Face Melissa could give Freddy Krueger looking old guy a real run for his money, in the evil entrances department.  The rest of the girls, of course, want to turn the video over to the police right away . . .Now, this seems a bit moronic, if you ask me.  After all, how many times are these girls going to give up the goods to the police department, before they realize that the Rosewood PD is (a) completely useless, (b) always ends up using the information against the girls, and (c) is probably working for “A.”

Aside from that, stomping into someone’s bedroom angrily, far from makes you a killer.  Then again, she does look pretty f*&king crazy in that picture.  Anyone could see that . . . well, except for maybe Blind Jenna.



Not wanting to turn in her pregnant sister to the cops, so soon after (1) her husband died / killed himself / was murdered; (2) she got into a car accident and almost lost the baby; and (3) she just found out that her parents have an illegitimate child she used to enjoy making out with, Spencer begs the rest of the girls for another 24 hours, to talk to Melissa, and get HER side of the story, before they turn her in.


Here’s the thing about Melissa.  I kind of think her being “A” is too obvious, especially since she was painted pretty firmly in the suspect corner this week.  And, remember, we still have at least two episodes left in the season, before we learn A’s true identity.  What I do think about Melissa though, is that she might have been the one Ali was blackmailing with information about Jason’s paternity.  There was just something about the way Melissa acted early on in the episode when that information was revealed, just didn’t strike me as that genuine.


The blackmail option would also explain Melissa’s angry presence in Ali’s room, on the night she died . . .

As for Spencer, the possible guilt of her sister isn’t the only harsh truth she has to face, in this week’s episode.   She also learns that Aria’s been lying to her about not seeing Fitzy, when, in actuality,  the two were sucking face on a weekly basis, the whole time Spencer was whining to her about the loss of Toby.

Then, to make matters worse, when Spencer goes to meet Melissa at a local bar, to discuss her appearance on the tape (Yes, because a bar is an absolutely GREAT place for an underage girl and a pregnant woman to meet!) . . .

. . . Melissa BLATANTLY ditches her for Police Boy Garrett, of all people.  Worse yet, Spencer WATCHES her do it, and lie about it, from the window of the bar!


(Rumor has it, these two have been spending A LOT of time together.  It was even implied, during the episode, that Melissa’s current spawn, might actually belong to the Policeboy.  Crazy Eyes sure does get around, doesn’t she?)

Just kidding . . . please don’t kill me.

Is it any wonder that, by the end of the night, an emotionally exhausted Spencer is ready to get totally snockered on tequila with Dr. McSexypants himself, Wren?

I know I’d do it, if I were her!  After engaging in some innocent bar flirting, Wren ends up taking Spencer back to his place, where she drinks even more, and starts drunkenly seducing the older man, like it’s her job!


“The first time I saw you, I thought, DAMNNNNN,” coos Spencer in Wren’s ear, as she shimmy shakes around him like a dancer in a burlesque show.


(That’s funny.  This is exactly how I reacted, the first time Wren was on MY TV screen.  Go figure!)

It’s rather impressive, actually.   Then the pair share a pretty adorable conversation about which one of them is more screwed up / comes from a more screwed up family.  (Hint: Wren don’t even bother, Spencer’s got it in the bag!)  During the conversation, Spencer admits to being a competitive perfectionist (duh!), even when it comes to yoga.  As for Wren, apparently he’s so OCD about organizing his books alphabetically, that when Spencer teasted him about having an Aristotle book out of place (What kind of twenty-something actually owns a book by Aristotle?  Oh Wren, it’s a good thing you’re so hot!), he actually stopped macking with Spencer to stare at his bookshelf.  Silly boy!

Skewed priorities aside, the chemistry between Wren and Seduction Mode Spencer (it’s always the straight-laced ones that end up being the craziest drunks) was white hot!  And what was even white hotter, was the fact that Wren, despite clearly be tempted, ultimately played the part of a gentleman, by not taking advantage of Spencer, in her vulnerable situation.


He did, however, let her sleep on his couch, and offer her an invitation to return, whenever she likes.  They tongue kissed to seal the deal, of course.


Wren might not want to take advantage of Spencer.  But something tells me Spencer will be taking advantage of that body of Wren’s very, VERY soon.  Can you blame her?

In other news, Melissa finally decided to show up and talk to Spencer.  But she insisted on taking her to a remote place to do it, and just seemed really squirrely throughout the entire conversation.  What’s worse, the usually smart Spencer, decided to go off with Crazy Eyes, herself, WITHOUT TAKING HER CELL PHONE.

Clearly, all those hot Wren kisses, must have gone to her head . . .

Speaking of face sucking . . .

When the going gets tough, (the tough eat your face) . . .

Maya may actually have made good on her threat to run off to San Francisco, rather than return to True North to conquer her “doobie problem.”

All Emily knows is that she hasn’t been returning any of her calls.  But as is usually the case with Emily, the very minute she seems like she might be single again, a buzzer goes off in the heads of every lesbian in Rosewood.  And suddenly, they are all in hot pursuit.

“Ooh . . . ooh . . . pick me . . . pick me . . . my turn!”

This time, Emily’s aggressor is Paige, a.k.a. as Little Orphan Butchie, (though now that she has a better haircut, the title is admittedly no longer appropriate).


When we first see Paige, she’s all zen and thrilled about having finally come out to her parents.  And it’s not long, before she’s making flirty and suggestive comments to Emily, about the possibility of a rehash of their earlier, tumultuous relationship.

*clears throat*

Paige may be more out and proud than she was when we first met her, but when it comes to reading relationship cues, she still has a heck of a lot to learn.  Case in point, when a crying Emily admits to Paige that Maya and her had a fight, after which the former went missing, Paige decides this is a great opportunity to RAPE EMILY’S FACE.  Oops.


Emily literally runs away, horrified.

And as much as I was never Paige’s biggest fan, I can’t help but feel bad for her and her utter cluelessness.  Then again, she did try to DROWN Emily, once before, which undermines my sympathy for the character, just a smidge  . . .

At the end of the episode, the police come to Emily’s doorstep to talk about Maya.


Golly gee, I hope she didn’t burn down that law office, while sparking a big ole’ doobie . . . Seriously, though, I hopes she’s OK . . . unless she ends up being “A,” in which case, GOOD RIDDENS . . .

Speaking of good riddens .  . .

It’s an Ezria Tea Party! (a.k.a.  Now A’s messing with the Moms!)

Ladies, what the heck was the deal with Fitzy, this week?

And why was Aria wearing that bizarre early 90’s ensemble?  She looked like an extra from Saved by the Bell . . .  Was it just me, or was he SUPER CALLOUS in that car scene,  with Aria, in which he contemplated dumping her, and running off to New Orleans, for his new boyfriend Byron?

Yes . . . Fitzy . . . you were a dick . . . yes, you were.

On one hand, this isn’t the first time, Fitzy has been scared away by Aria’s parents, and frightened into giving up on the couple’s May/December romance.  But the way he treated her, while he was doing it, just seemed uncharacteristically cold to me . . . particularly when he left her alone crying in the car, and then proceeded to WATCH HER CRY, STONEFACED, from his car, for about five minutes, before driving away.


It was just an odd scene, all around, in my opinion.  Though on a positive note, Lucy Hale definitely does give good cry.  I’m not ashamed to admit, I got a little teary .  . .


Make that A LOT teary . . .

Speaking of odd, Aria’s mom is suddenly all up in A’s grill, because of that note Papa Montgomery got last week, cluing him in to the location of Aria’s ultimately canceled date with Fitzy.  Now, she’s decided to find out, for herself, who A is.  That can only lead to BAD THINGS, me thinks . . .

*insert hissing noise here*

But the hunt for A isn’t the only aspect of Aria’s life that Mama Montgomery has started to dip into.  She’s also decided to reevaluate her stance on the whole Ezria issue, after receiving a tearful tongue lashing from Aria regarding Papa Montgomery’s plans to ship Fitzy down to the bayou (probably in hopes that he would be eaten by alligators).  Honestly, ladies, it doesn’t get much more awkward than your mother plopping down on the couch at your boyfriend’s couch, and staring at you, while you all pretend to drink tea.


That said, I do give Mommy Dearest some props for her willingness to hear her daughter out . . .

Speaking of self-sacrificing mom’s, Mama Montgomery might not be the only PLL Mommy hot on A’s trail.  When Mama Marin finds the police report A threatened Mona with, her first thought is that Deputy Douchey sent it, in hopes of forcing Mama Marin to have more sex with him.  But when she confronts the latter with the offending document, he seems just as freaked out by it, as she is!  And with good reason!  Last I checked, accepting sexual favors in return for sentencing clemency, was generally frowned upon, in law enforcement . . . no matter how good one might look, dressed in nothing but a towel . . .

In the final moments of the episode, we see “A” using the gun she stole from Spencer Hasting’s desk to do some pretty on-point target practice.

Be afraid, PLL girls.   Be very afraid!

And that was “Breaking the Code” in a nutshell, my Pretties.  Next week on PLL, we get a father/daughter dance, a missing persons poster, Toby on a motor cycle, and Spencer’s dad repeatedly saying things, like “pump up the jam.”  (Hey Mr. Hastings, 1992 called.  It wants that phrase back.)  You can check out the promo for the episode, here . . .

Until next time, my Pretties!


[][Fangirls Forever]


Filed under Pretty Little Liars

5 responses to “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! – A Recap of Pretty Little Liars’ “Breaking the Code”

  1. sassyfran

    LOL hilarious as usual. Yeah PageBoy Paige was totally clueless, did she really think that Emily would go rushing into her arms when she is all in love with the MIssing Maya…….sheeks slow your role Playa LOL.
    I totally missed Caleb this week; I think I forgot to mention that in my very long recap but there was plenty going on with Mona. I do think she is totally up to no good no matter what she has done to make herself look the victim. I mean who asks her a few weeks back to get that info from the VP’s office that was all on her. I really wonder why the girls are NOT more suspicious of her. The problem with with so much going on I can only imagine how their suspects are all over the board so they try to chase the clues. The other thing is they don’t exactly focus on the clues they go looking for something but if its not what they EXPECT they think its not a CLUE. I know that because I am a major mystery buff. If Jonah gave them the address it had to mean SOMETHING, according to HIM that was good enough for Vivian aka Allison. Again that should mean something. I think right now the most horrible of thoughts is if A is Allison’s killer than are they the one with the gun?? As far as Ezra acting weird you are RIGHT he wasn’t emotional about leaving at all and him leaving Aria in the car crying was very cold of him. It was out of character and left field considering the way they had been getting along. I think he was also odd acting when Ella stopped by kinda making jokes; he totally should have said, “I love her” for starters to get that outta the way so Ella has no doubts. She is going to want to know they are looking at a future or at least considering time down the road not just in the moment like most teen romances LOL.

    OH and Wren with Spencer was so funny and sexy it was off the charts I almost like him now; but its hard for me to think that any one I mean anyone is as Innocent as he seems to be. OH and don’t get me wrong I totally love his accent and curly hair. I thought he was going to give in as Spencer rubbed his chess LOL she knows some moves to be so young. We will see in time right, Thanks for sharing.

    xoxo 🙂

    • Hey Sassyfran. Yep, I think Paige’s face rape of Emily, really shows how clueless she is, when it comes to dating, in general. Her action in that scene just struck me as so impulsive . . . like it never even occurred to her that Emily wouldn’t want to kiss her back, in that moment. I guess that’s realistic, for a woman, who has just recently come to terms with her sexuality. But it also struck me as a bit unintentionally hilarious. I’m evil, I know. 🙂

      As for Spencer, you are absolutely right. Girlfriend is a little vixen! I was taking notes! You just never know when moves like that could come in handy in the future. And if they can snag you a hot doc, like Wren, so much the better. 😉

      I too was really surprised that Fitzy didn’t immediately reassure Mama Montgomery of his love for Aria . . . especially now that he knows he has an important ally potentially on his side in the continuance of their relationship. The fact that he hesitated, and was almost rude to Ella while doing so, certainly will not have redeemed him, in Aria’s mom’s eyes. In fact, it made him look like exactly what Aria’s parents thought he was . . . someone who was using their daughter for sex . . . and nothing more. Now, we know that’s not true. So, unless, of course ,Fitzy ends up being “A”, I’m going to chalk the oddness of this scene up to subpar writing, in what was otherwise one of my favorite PLL episodes in quite some time.

      Then again, it was a BIG episode for Wrencer, so perhaps I’m biased . . . 😉

  2. I have returned from the Vortex!
    So, let’s just start it with the fact that I was the only one who reasonably understood why Ezra was saying what he did in the car. Now, feel free to call me biased and shove a hot iron down my throat, but I was NOT mad at him. Sure, he could have stayed in the car and comforted his girlfriend, and I was upset with him for that, but everyone seems to forget that Aria isn’t the only one dealing with her parents-preferably her douche bag of a father. He’s trying to make the decision between the love of his life and his career. He could have worded it better so then I wouldn’t be crying STILL. He could said: “We’ve been trying to make this work for a long time and as much as we love each other, I still think that it’s going to be a long road ahead.” That would have been better for my emotions,
    On a happier note though, Ella has officially won my love back! She willingly went to Ezra’s apartment to hear him and her runaway daughter. I thought it was adorable that even after that two second breakup that made my heart shatter like glass, Aria still went to Ezra’s apartment for him to comfort her. Now that is true love.
    One observation though. When she said that line about needing to talk before anyone goes moving or running away may have given both of them an idea. I’m sure Ella was worrying that Aria would move to New Orleans with Fitzy. I wouldn’t be worried (After all, they could elope during Marti Gras season…). But the way that Ezria kept exchanging those longing glances when they realized that Ella was accepting their relationship.
    WRENCER WAS PERFECT! Who even ships Spoby after that beautiful performance? OH MY GOODNESS. I had to keep fanning myself. It was also good to see Wren again. I’ve missed his sexy face and voice.

    • Hey CrazyLove. I was wondering what your take on those Ezria scenes would be! 🙂 You bring up some really great points, as to why Fitzy behaved like he did, in the car with Aria. Thinking back on the scene, I think you are right that some of Fitzy’s callousness stems from his frustration with the situation, in general. These two never seem to win! He also might be a bit annoyed by the fact that Aria never even considered the notion of Fitzy taking the job in New Orleans. After all, he is a career-oriented guy. And, from his perspective, this is a good opportunity, despite its malign source.

      That said, no matter how great a job this was, if I was in Fitzy’s shoes, I probably wouldn’t be able to accept it, knowing that it came from a place of hatred and malice . . . What a terrible way to start a career! I also would have liked to see FITZY rush to Aria’s house to comfort her, as opposed to the other way around. I mean he REALLY broke her, in that scene. And I would have liked to have seen him make some kind of amends for that.

      But I also agree with you that Mama Montgomery likely feared that Aria would elope with Fitzy to New Orleans, if she didn’t change her position on their relationship. I also feel like, unlike Byron, Ella has always seemed genuinely concerned for her daughter’s happiness. And despite her misgivings about the Ezria relationship, I think she knows that it makes Aria happy, whereas the lack of it causes her great pain and depression.

      Ahhhh Wrencer . . . how they lit my TV screen on fire, this past week. It was so much better than I ever imagined it would be. The producers HAVE to make this character a series regular next season . . . they just HAVE TO DO IT! With so much hotness, and on-screen chemistry, there’s just no other option. 🙂

  3. :)

    First off this….Then again, she does look pretty f*&king crazy in that picture. Anyone could see that . . . well, except for maybe Blind Jenna. Inappropriate? 🙂 hahahaha very but extremely hilarious! Time to start (warning it is a long one)!

    1) Hanna…
    So I always knew that i liked Mona, even when she was trashing Caleb’s letter, and this episode just proved how Mona and Hanna’s relationship was a one-sided friendship. I mean did anyone notice that Hanna waited til after 10 to tell Mona the “bad news”, knowing that she was throwing Mona under the bus on purpose. I know i would’ve done the same, but there wasn’t really much of a hesitant struggle to do so. Also, if Hanna is even Mona’s friend why let your friend SIT ALONE all by herself everyday…Hanna is such a B****!!! Sure Hanna finally lets Mona sit with the girls ONLY because she didn’t snitch…until you realize that it took this scandalous incident before Hanna *finally* allowed Mona into her little clique, which makes it less sweet and more self-serving. But hey, the important thing is that Mona’s moving up the school cafeteria hierarchy, y’all!

    2) Ashley
    I know this isn’t the first time Mama Marin’s reckless actions have given -A plenty of ammunition to use against Hanna, but I am still TEAM ASHLEY all the way. I love that she’s a fierce mama bear who’s not afraid to lay down with the law *literally*. A lot of parents could learn from her. Don’t knock it until you tried it!
    Ashley: I don’t know how you sleep at night!!!
    Me: Of course you wouldn’t know. I bet Wilden didn’t do a lot of sleeping in your bedroom during his little rendezvous last season.
    Ashley: Did you really think you can intimidate my daughter into confessing a crime that she didn’t commit!?
    Me: Well, he got her mother to do a lot more for a crime that’s worth much less, so you can’t really blame a guy for trying. LOL at the reaction Wilden had, it was almost like “I wouldn’t dare do that. I would get fired….ultimately kicking me off this show which is my only paycheck” Hahaha Gotta Love good TV

    3a) The Cray Crays Return!….Melissa
    This episode also sees the return of several crazy bitches to the show, including Melissa and her oddly misshapen baby bump. It looks like the show put a deflating balloon under her sweater and hoped that nobody notices. *lolwtf* the show went out of their way to make sure that the baby bump couldn’t be visible. I mean when have they ever used out of focus shots, or make the character speak with her back turned, or do fancy editing whenever Melissa is approaching? Maybe because she actually isn’t pregnant, and it is a clue!!!!…maybe not. Anyways, more about her when i get to Spence 😀

    3b) The Return of Paige McKillerssss
    I actually can not make fun of her hair because she actually looks good! She now just looks like Mosely again…(Ned’s school survivor guide!). As for character Paige….i literally was cringing when she kept throwing a pass at Em, because SHE WAS soo smooth and slick about it, and knowing Emily’s slutty reputation i finally thought this was the end of Maya! Yet, she wasn’t slick enough when she got REJECTEDDDDD. *lmao* literally i was cracking up! Ooh Paige, burrrrrn!!! I guess in terms of the hierarchy, weed smoking crack whores still rank a little higher than crazy psychotic bitches who tried to drown their girlfriends upon the first introduction. sux

    4) Where Art Thou??
    …speaking of Maya, i guess she is missing 😦 on a good note that might explain why she wasn’t picking up the phone lol. I just realized that Officer Whatshisface is probably the only GOOD cop in Rosewood, other than that we just have garret and wilson… 😦

    5) The Quest for Answers!
    SCAM ALERT: Spencer paid two thousand dollars for a flippin piece of paper with some hokey address on it. As if it’s not painfully obvious that guy probably just picked some random address from the phone book and wrote it down for an easy two grand. Hell, I would do exactly the same thing 🙂 Did Aria and Spencer really believe that the show would reveal A’s identity in any episode other than the season finale? Fat chance. But hey, it’s not really Spencer’s money anyway, so who cares? Real quick! If you recall back to when the girls were sneaking at the old man’s did you see what ARIA WAS WEARING!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Soooo priceless! You know how some people dress in black to avoid detection when they’re doing something sneaky? Well, Aria is like “SCREW DAT LOGIC. IMMA PUT ON MY TIGHTEST AND LOUDEST PAIR OF LEOPARD LEGGING FOR THIS OCCASION.” Yeah, that’s right – she’s only wearing one leopard legging if that’s even somehow fucking possible. I’m starting to think that Aria just picks her wardrobe completely in the dark and doesn’t look at the mirror afterwards. It would explain a lot.

    6) Aria…dun dun dunnnn
    Yes, it’s that time of the episode again where I have to trudge through the always unbearable Aria and Ezra scenes. This time, I think they’re fighting about him taking that job offer in New Orleans or whatever. Ezra is like “I’m starting to think it’ll never work between us!” which is roughly translation for “Aria, you’re starting to get a little too old for me. I prefer my jailbait below a certain age threshold. Time to move to New Orleans!” And then Aria starts bawling her eyes out with extreme vigor (which Lucy Hale is probably the only one who actually knows how to crack tears–i mean waterfalls….seriously she cried as if her favorite show got cancelled *lol*…really talented). Like honestly, these two go through the SAME ROUTINE every couple of episodes, so I’m not sure why Aria acts like the world is ending. She must KNOW that Pretty Little Liars will never destroy the Ezria relationship no matter how much we…i mean I pray for it in every episode. Hell, there could be a fucking apocalypse and the only things that would stay alive are cockroaches & Ezria. The one thing that made me even more frustrated with this couple was when Aria returns home. Aria starts pouting and stomping angrily at home, because she believes that her parents are rotten people for trying to protect their daughter from being used by a predatory high school teacher. Ella shows up at the apartment and goes like “I DO NOT CONDONE YOUR RELATIONSHIP….best line evaaa

    7) Play Doctor? YES!!!!…..and Spencer Scences
    Caleb unveils another piece of video footage that conveniently corresponds with the show’s narrative pace. In this video, we discover that Melissa is also involved in the N.A.T. Club shenanigans, or at least she was present in Alison’s bedroom on the night of the murder!!! And all the girls are like OMGWTFBBQ at the revelation that Spencer’s sister is a shady ass bitch. Aria and Hanna look surprised, Spencer looks mortified, and Emily looks like she’s in the middle of a stifled yawn. I guess Shay Mitchell is still a few acting lessons away from pulling off a believable facial expression. Keep trying, bb *lol* :D. Anyways as a good sister…blood is thicker than water…she doesn’t want to bust her sis so she tries to meet her up, and -A….i mean Melissa is like screw you imma going with Garrett. Are they supposed to be an item? Did this bitch really go through the trifecta of Ian, Jason, and Garrett? What does it say about Melissa that she keeps hanging out with guys who pine for these underage girls? But Enough about pedophiles…let’s discuss Wren’s pursuit of a 16 years old teenager. Lol 😀

    8) Wren
    Spencer gets drunk and Wren decides to take her back home like the gentleman that he is. Oh wait, that didn’t happen, because he decided to take a drunken teenage girl back to HIS place for an overnight stay. And that’s all you need to know about Wren’s intentions, I’m afraid. YET, he is extremely sexy throughout his whole scene which made me wonder…Toby Who?
    Wren: Spencer, are you pissed? Snockered? Drunk?
    Spencer: *giggling* I am smashed!!!
    ARE YOU PISSED??? *lmao* Only he can get away with a line like that. Oh bless Wren and his quirky little heart, even though he’s really no better than all the other perverts on the show. Seriously out of all the themes of PLL i can only remember the illegal underage relationships they keep shoving down our throats…

    We end the episode with Melissa promising to tell Spencer about ALL HER SEKRITS next episode. Hopefully, her scandal would be a lot juicier than some of the lame shit that we’ve gotten in the past……because if I have to sit through another revelation about online gambling debts, bug bite photos, and martial arts competitions, I will shoot a bitch!!! Pass me the gun, A!

    Thanks KJ for recapping, and replying to my casual critiques hehehe 😀 until next time my friend


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