When things go bump (and grind) in the night . . . – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Heart of Darkness”

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The moment I got an electric shock from fondling my television screen . . . Totally worth it.

Welcome back, Fangbangers!  Long time, no fangirl!  Just in case you missed it, this week on TVD, ELENA FINALLY KISSED DAMON . . . and they humped against a dirty motel wall . . . and did some rather naughty things with their fingers in bed . . . it was all so deliciously tawdry, and long awaited, that I spent much of the episode celebrating . . .

Also, there was THIS . . .

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Oh, and I guess some other stuff happened too . . .

So, let your Big Bad Alter Ego out to play, because this episode of TVD is rated “M” for “More Makeouts Than We’ve Seen All Season.”

The Mysterious Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Saltzman

We begin the episode, in the basement of La Casa de Rich and Awesome, also known as ‘The Time Out Corner for Misbehaving Salvatores and Friends.”  That little cage sees more action than a motel that rents by the hour i.e. the place where Damon and Elena shacked up this week   I mean, think about it.  Stefan goes there when he’s all Mean and Rippery.

Damon “rested there,” while he suffered from a nasty case of were-rabies.

Elijah vacationed there, during one of his many Temporary Deaths.

And now it’s Multiple Personality Disorder Alaric’s turn!

Psychotic or not, you have to give Alaric credit for his willingness to endure self-imposed lockdown, so that his Jack Nicholson from The Shining Other Self doesn’t run off and murder all his friends, while he sleeps.

However, when Elena popped by to offer him some food and light reading . . .

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 . . . I couldn’t help but wonder how long he’d been down there, and what the Good History teacher was doing about the all-important Three S’s” of Life (sh*t, shower, shave).  Because I definitely didn’t see a toilet in there . . . or a hose.  So, unless Warden Stefan was willing to act as chaperone, I’m thinking that place smelled pretty darn rank.

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Anywhoo . . . Elena’s real reason for visiting Alaric, of course, has more to do with her, than with him.  After all, she’s going on a little road trip to Denver with Damon to sow her wild sex oats  “rescue Jeremy,” and she needs a little moral support from her erstwhile father figure.

Understandably,  Alaric is pretty grumpy about the idea that Damon and Elena will be off exploring one another’s nether regions, while he’s busy playing “Find the Stake” with Stefan.  I mean, from the looks of things, it’s been a while since Prisoner Alaric has received a conjugal visit from the Good Doctor Crazy Nanny Carrie Meredith.  (Apparently, attempted murder is not so great for your sex life.  Who knew?)

Except . . . as it turns out, ALARIC’S a total psycho, which means he and Crazy Nanny Carrie are kind of perfect for one another . . . 

Alaric wonders out loud how Stefan is feeling about this Delena Sexcation.  And Elena responds that it was HIS IDEA!  Well now, this takes the concept of Brotherly Love to a whole new level, doesn’t it?

“Bye honey!  Be SAFE!  Have fun dry humping my brother!

A bit of awkwardness ensues, when Elena pops by La Casa de Rich and Awesome to meet up with Damon, and Stefan meets her at the door.  “Have fun trying to coax that Big Stick out of Alaric,” Elena offers helpfully.  (No, she doesn’t actually say that.  But I kind of wish she did.)

“Be safe,” Stefan replies morosely, as Damon whisks Elena toward the door.

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Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Steffie.  You know vampires can’t impregnate humans or spread STDs!  Though they do love to try . . .

Battle of the Blondes

We then move over to Mystic Falls High, where the students are hard at work preparing for their Bloodbath Prom . . . er . . . I mean Decade Dance.  Seriously, at this point the administration should just pick a day at random, where they line the students up against a wall, and randomly slaughter them, Hunger Games style.  It would be much more efficient.  But while we are on the subject of high school, does anyone else find it ironic that 1,000-year old vampire, Rebekah, seems to be the only one who regularly attends?

Caroline and Rebekah are apparently having a contest to see which of them can out “Regina George” the other.

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And the passive aggressive insults are flying across the gym like dodgeballs . . .  Personally, I think Caroline won this fight, though.  Her, “at least I don’t have sex with everyone I make eye contact with,” comment was filled with win.

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(Everybody knows that “slut jokes and fat jokes,” are the girlfight equivalent of “yo mama” jokes  . . .)  As for Rebekah’s retort . . .

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 . . . it probably would have been more effective if the two girls didn’t look so very much alike . . .  And yet, when Blonde Boy Matt sided with Rebekah, when it came to choosing a 20’s themed decade dance, over Caroline’s proffered 70’s one, it appeared that former featherweight champion, Vampire Barbie, might be forced to concede a victory in this round.  The latter stormed out of the gym in a huff, while Rebekah looked on, her face practically brimming with smug satisfaction . . .

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But, as it turns out, the jokes on Rebekah.  Apparently, Matt and Caroline orchestrated the entire argument, just to give Caroline an excuse to leave school, and engage in Sexy Times with Tyler.  (Seriously?  What is with all these guys offering up their ex-girlfriends as sexual sacrifices to the Altar of Alpha Male?)

Now, maybe this makes me a Bad Person.  But I would rather eat glue, than give an ex-boyfriend I’m not over yet, free reign to start boning my more attractive and probably better in bed rival . . .  It’s one thing to accept that your ex has moved on.  It’s quite another to give them an INVITATION to do it . . . particularly, when YOU aren’t getting any, yourself.

“Doh!” 

Boozing Buddies

Speaking of sacrificial males, Stefan has decided that in order for Bad Alaric to come out to play, Good Alaric needs to take a nap.  So, the Broody Vampire decides to speed matters along, by offering Alchyric some liquid lunch . . . which actually makes sense, since I’ve never seen the guy eat.  (You know how vampires only require blood for sustenance?  I’m starting to think the same concept applies to Alaric and Booze.)

Alaric, of course, tries to go all Dr. Phil on Stefan, and his mind boggling decision to get Elena to explore her feelings for Damon via road trip.  Stefan basically admits that in order for him to continue to pursue things with Elena, he has to know she isn’t lusting after his brother.  (Why Stefan?  It never stopped you, before.)

“Scoot over, brother.  It’s my turn to get the neck.”

Alaric and Stefan also reflect upon whether their Psycho and Ripper so-called alter egos, respectively, are really just themselves after a Bad Day.  “The same things that drive him, drive me,” Alaric reflects wisely.

Of course, if anyone knows anything about being driven by bloodlust to do Bad Things, it’s Stefan.  But for Alaric’s sake, he puts a kinder spin on things.  “It’s not you,” he reassures his buddy boy.  “It’s just your darkest parts.”  (Well, THAT sounds dirty . . .)

The “darkest parts” of Alaric’s Chunky Monkey, a.k.a. the chocolate fudge . . .

But while all this navel-gazing and moody self-reflection might BORE Alaric, it doesn’t necessarily put him to sleep.  This, of course, means more “physical” tactics will have to be employed.  And, unfortunately, I’m not talking about sex.  Though really, nothing sends a warm-blooded male to dreamland faster than a solid roll in the hay.  I’m referring to a good, old-fashioned ASS KICKING . . .

Fortunately, Klaus has magically appeared to deliver said ass-kicking.  And when Stefan gives his ex boyfriend the Cliff Notes version of the whole “Save the Cheerleader, save the World Destroy the Missing Stake.  Save the Vampire Bloodline,” concept, Klaus helpfully breaks Alaric’s neck, thereby FINALLY powering this starting-to-become-a-bit-draggy plot line forward.

Sweet Dreams, Good Alaric!  (And THANK YOU, KLAUS!)

“Have you met YOU?”

I have to admit I was a bit disappointed, when the episode cut directly to Damon and Elena, already in Denver.  I mean, isn’t the whole point of a Sexy Times Road Trip, the hours and hours of having absolutely nothing to do but stare at one another, and bond over the bad in-flight movie?

Obviously the duo MORE than made up for this, by the episode’s end.  But at this point in the game, I was a little peeved.

Damon and Elena find Jeremy alone at the batting cages, striking out, of course.  “I should have compelled him to be better at baseball,” Damon quips.  (I don’t know.  If I was a teenage boy, there are a few things I’d want to be compelled to be “better” at, but baseball isn’t one of them.)

“STRIKE ONE”

“STRIKE TWO”

“STRIKE THREE!  YOU’RE OUTTTT!”

 The duo quickly fill Jeremy in on at least part of the reason they are really here . . . to get “I See Dead People” Jeremy to “talk” to Rose, and find out which Original sired her, so that the Scooby Gang doesn’t kill that one.  “So, you came all the way up here to get me to talk to some dead vampire?”  Jeremy gripes.

No, we also came up here, to make sure that Ring of Immortality Ring your wearing hasn’t already turned you into a drooling, vampire-hating loony toons, like your guardian, Alchyric.  “Dead and vampire is redundant, but yes,” Damon replies.

Jeremy promptly informs his darling sister, who has effectively traveled across the country to have sex with Damon effectively prevent the extinction of vampire kind, that the Vampire Apocalypse is just going to have to wait.  Apparently, Mini Gilbert has much more important things to do than save the world . . . like whacking balls with a “dear friend.”

Remember that time, an episode or two ago, when  Jeremy told Elena over the phone that he was heading out to spend time with “some friends?”  And most of the fandom immediately took this a a sign that Jeremy, much like his guardian before him, had already taken a One Way Trip to Crazy Town?  In fact, many fans even went as far as to suggest that these “friends” Jeremy was referring to may actually be vampires he’d already murdered, in the same way he offed that hybrid, before being sent away in the first place . . .

As it turns out, fans were right to be worried about the fact that Jeremy made “a friend.”  Apparently, sexy little Jer is only allowed to have real “friends” if they belong to his sister, or secretly want to sleep with him.  “Didn’t you find it a little weird that you made a friend so fast?  Have you met you?”  Damon chastises Jeremy later for his poor judgment.

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So, yeah, long story short, Jeremy’s friend was “Kol,” a reveal that probably surprised precisely no one, since we knew the Original Vamp had been stalking Jeremy, and his new dog (See, at least Jeremy has a Man’s Best Friend), ever since the latter arrived in Denver.  That said, I must admit, I did feel a bit bad for Jeremy, when Kol admitted.  “You and I are not really buds,” before bashing Damon’s head in with an aluminum bat.  (Of course, I felt worse for Damon for being beaten by an aluminum bat.  But, I felt bad for Jeremy too!  I mean, everyone should have REAL friends right.  Even if those friends just so happen to be blood sucking sociopaths . . .)

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Eventually, Damon manages to stake Kol with something that ISN’T dipped in or made from white oak ash (i.e. good for temporary death nap, but nothing more), and the threesome escape the batting cages, relatively unscathed.  But  . . . with Kol knowing the groups whereabouts, they can’t well stay in Denver.  So, you know what that means.  It’s time to check into the Sex Motel!  (Can I get a hell yeah!)

In which I take back everything bad I ever said about Rose the Vampire . . .

Unfortunately, this vacation isn’t only for Delena pleasure.  It’s for business too.  So, upon arriving at the hotel Jeremy “I talk to dead people” Gilbert manages to channel Ghost Vampire Rose, through Damon’s memories of her.

When Damon first starts waxing poetic about Rose’s death being beautiful, and sweet, and blah, blah, blah, Elena thinks he’s blowing smoke up Jeremy’s ass.  And understandably so.  After all, the last time Elena saw Rose, she looked like this . .  .

. . . and was literally trying to chew Elena’s face off.  It’s not really an image one soon forgets.  Interestingly enough, it’s Jeremy, who has either already connected with Rose, or simply managed to get hi s hand on the TVD Season 2 DVD that corrects Elena’s misinterpretation of the situation.  “Damon was talking about the dream he gave her when she died,” he offers.

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(Damn, Ghost Whisperers, always thinking they know everything . .  .)  After the reunited pair get the banal chitchat out of the way . . . (Yes, Rose is still hot.  Yes, she misses Damon, but is NOT obsessed with him.) . . . things start to get really interesting.

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Now, those of you who have read my recaps before know full well, that I was far from Rose’s biggest fan.  I believe the nickname I used for her was “Boyfriend Stealer.”

In fact, for weeks after she died, I refused to use any other photograph to illustrate this character but her Were-Rabies Mugshot.

Here we go again . . .

 It wasn’t really anything personal.  It’s just that, as a Delena shipper, I found the fact that Rose was constantly humping Damon to be . . . well . . . how do I put this kindly .  . . REALLY ANNOYING!

That all changed when Elena told Jeremy THESE fateful words, “Tell Damon I’m rooting for him and Elena.”

That’s right, Fangbangers.  Apparently, my former fictional arch rival is a fellow Delena shipper.

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This means she and I have the incontrovertible bond of folks who share the same ship.  And, therefore, I must love her like a sister.  (It’s easy for me to do this, since I am an only child, and really have no concept of what “loving someone like a sister” actually means.)  So, Rose, if you are out there . . . in Heaven, or wherever it is that rabid vampires go .  . . I’m sorry for calling you Man Stealer, posting ugly pictures of you on the internet, and not being particularly sad when you died.  I truly hope you can forgive me.  Oh, and if you ever want to come to my house, and watch Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries with me on DVD (We can skip your death episode of course), I promise to invite you inside.

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Oh, but back to the real reason we called Rose.  Who sired her?  As it turns out, it wasn’t ANY of the Originals.  Rather, the woman who sired Rose was a girl named “Mary Porter,” a.k.a. Scary Mary.  (Well, this certainly complicates things.)  Though Rose doesn’t know where Scary Mary lives off hand, apparently there’s some Vampire Phone Chain she can tap into.  Rose promises the Scooby Gang that she will do some research, and get back to them with an answer, before bidding them a fond adieu.

This, of course, means Damon, Elena and Jeremy can’t leave until they hear back from Rose.  Damon calls Stefan with the AWESOME . . . er . . . I mean terrible news.  “We’re stuck in a motel,” says Damon glibly.

The look on Stefan’s face upon hearing this admission is totally priceless.  Sorry, buddy.  But hey, you wanted Elena to explore her feelings for Damon.  And now she’s going to have an entire night in a not particularly big bed to do just that . . .

Mother/Daughter bonding?  (Yeah, we should have remembered that NEVER really happens on this show.)

Back at La Casa de Richer and Awesomer, But Not as Well Decorated (also known as the Originals’ house), Matt drives Rebekah home from school.  And she is so impressed that a boy actually did something nice for her, that she looks like she wants to hump his leg.  All joking aside, I REALLY these two together, and hope they both live long enough on this show to make a go of it.

“Thank you!  I WILL have a nice life.  Because I’m the only human left on this show . . . unless you kill me, of course.”

Rebekah’s good mood is short-lived though.  Because when she crosses the threshhold into her home she’s greeted by none other than her miserable murderous, slightly bug-eyed Mommy.  Mommy Dearest tells Rebekah that the latter really should have no hard feelings about the whole “I tried to kill you” thing, because she’s dying now too.  We all know how starved Rebekah is for ANY show of love and kindness.  So, of course, she cracks immediately, cradling her mother’s hands as the latter . . .  “dies.”

In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  “Big mistake . . . HUGE!”

“Tell him to suck it,” and other moments of Forwood Cave Porn

Meanwhile a much happier reunion is occurring in the Forest Where Bad Things Happen.  I really do love how horny Caroline and Tyler always seem to be.  I mean, think about it, whenever they aren’t broken up, these two are ALWAYS, ALWAYS boning.  This week they were almost too busy boning to engage in any dialogue at all.

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They boned against the tree .  . . They boned against the cave wall . . . They boned on the cave floor.

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They would have boned at Caroline’s house.  But they couldn’t because Lizard Forbes was home, which meant they actually had to talk.  Well, that don’t go over so well . . .

(Yes, before you guys, all jump down my throat, I know that Caroline and Tyler had a very sweet post coital conversation on the cave floor, during which Caroline said Klaus should suck it (HE WISHES!), and admitted to Tyler that if the Scooby Gang killed Klaus he would die too.  Caroline and Tyler are fully capable of engaging in adult conversation.  They’d just much rather have sex.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.  I mean, have YOU seen them?  I’d bone all the time too . . .)

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But back to Caroline’s house, where everything went to hell, and all because Caroline just COULDN’T bear to throw away that darn pony picture that Klaus drew her.  Ruh-roh!  Tyler didn’t like that one bit.  And I for one, think his anger was justified.  I mean, the way I see it, if a sociopathic psycho killer draws a picture of you, there are only two rational reasons why you would want to keep it.  (1) He’s a FAMOUS psycho killer.  And you plan on selling the picture on E-bay for a crapload of money.  (2) You’re hot for the psycho killer.

Sorry Caroline . . . we haven’t seen you on E-bay.  So, I’m thinking it’s option 2 for you . . .

Meanwhile, over at the Looooooooove Shack . . .

In which Elena finally ravages Damon, a.k.a. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!

His suspicion piqued by Rose’s offhand comment, Jeremy understandably wants to know what’s going on between Elena and Damon.  The problem is that Elena’s not quite ready to admit what’s going on to herself yet .  . . at least not for another hour or so.  But Jeremy takes the hint anyway, and lets Elena and Damon share the second bed, while he sleeps alone.  Smart boy . . .

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Later that night, Elena is watching an open shirted Damon strut around the hotel room with his shirt hanging open (which is my FAVORITE Damon Look, by the way), and looking hotter than I’ve seen him look like .  . . EVER.

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And this is including all those shower scenes!  She’s staring him like she wants to swallow him whole.  And even though she tries to pretend she’s sleeping when he turns around, he notices . . . as all hot guys notice, when girls are ogling them like construction workers.

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Sensing an opening (smart boy), Damon crawls into bed with Elena, but lays on his back, so as not to make her feel pressured.  It’s not the first time they’ve slept together.  But it IS the first time Elena has seemed so very eager.  And Damon doesn’t want to screw up the moment.

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Elena starts the conversation, as she turns toward Damon, her eyes roving his mostly naked body.  Her eyes are already filled with yearning and wanting.  I suspect it’s already taking all her strength not to jump him right here and now.  But she’s got to treadly lightly too, as this is a “test of her true feelings.” And she doesn’t want her hormones to get in the way.

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“You never told me what you did for Rose,” Elena muses.

“It wasn’t about you,” Damon responds wisely.

It’s an important point to make.  Because, as far as Elena has always been concerned, Damon only did good, and selfless things for Elena’s benefit, because he loved her, and sought her approval.  But Damon’s selfless actions with regard to Rose, really didn’t have anything to do with Elena, or even with love for that matter.  Damon did what he did, because he cared about Rose as a friend, and because it was . . . wait for it . . . the right thing to do.  In fact, when he had the opportunity to tell Elena about it, when she comforted him later in the episode, he chose not too, because, as he said, it had nothing to do with Elena or his love for her.

Elena can be dense sometimes, but even she recognizes a selfless gesture when she sees one.  And this gesture of Damon’s is starting to make Elena feel all tingly in her pants.  You can see her face flush, and breathing quicken, even though it is dark.  As much as Elena “loves” Stefan, I don’t recall a time where she ever seemed this incontrovertibly turned on by his mere presence and the sound of his voice.

“Why don’t you let people see the good in you?”  Elena muses.

I love what Damon said here . . .  “When people see good, they expect good.  And I don’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations.”

Those two sentences explain so much about who Damon is, and why he behaves the way he does.  In the same way Rebekah craves affection, Damon fears rejection.  And why not?  In a way, he’s been rejected all his life . . . by his father . . . by his brother . . . by the women he loves.  So, rather than put himself out there, and risk being rejected again, Damon turns inward.  He pretends to be cold and heartless, because it’s easier that way.  Because if people saw how truly large his heart was, they might toy with it, and break it.  And he’s simply not ready to bear the brunt of that pain for another eternity.

Of course, we have seen Damon show his goodness to many people . . . people he loves and cares about . . . like Stefan, Elena, Alaric, and Rose.  But he always does so with a caveat.  “I don’t do GOOD,” he tells them all . . . a pleading refrain.

When what he really means is, “Please don’t break my heart again.”

Elena understands all this instinctively, which is why she’s now so incredibly hot for Damon, she can’t breathe.   She turns her body toward the ceiling, mimicking his earlier gesture, but not before she reaches for his hand . . . What starts as a gesture of solidarity and understanding, becomes something much more . . . intense.  Seconds later, these two are having some serious Hand Sex.  There’s rubbing, massaging, groping and fondling.  Put it this way, if these were any other body parts, aside from fingers, this scene would be rated NC-17.

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Can you blame Elena for needing to go outside for some “air?”  And, more importantly, can you blame Damon for following her?  He knows a turned on hot tottie when he sees one!

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 By the time Damon approaches Elena, she’s literally gasping for breath.  She can’t resist any longer.  She grabs him, and kisses him intensely.  He throws her against the wall of the dirty motel passionately, as he kisses her chest and neck . . . there is not a single erogenous zone left untouched.  (Well . . . maybe ONE erogenous zone.)  She’s moaning, he’s panting.  It’s the dry hump of all dry humps.  And it is awesome.  And for one brief minute, the world is a perfect SEXY place.

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And then Cockblock Jeremy comes and ruins it all . . .

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Apparently, Rose has found Scary Mary in Texas, or wherever.  Who cares?  I want more Delena Almost Sex!  I’ve waited THREE SEASONS FOR THIS, DAMMIT!  Let’s relive it, shall we?

Where’s Fake Friend Kol when you need him?

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Vampire Hoarders – Scary Mary Edition

All sexual frustration aside, you know what?  I’m kind of disappointed that we never got to meet Scary Mary.  I mean, if DAMON thought she was creepy,  she must have really been a piece of work.  And yet, not creepy enough for our Bad Boy Vamp not to screw her in the past.

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That IS pretty Scary . . . Mary . . . 

“I said she was creepy, not ugly,” Damon quips, as Damon and Elena wander her haunted farmhouse of freakishness.  (They made Jeremy wait outside.  “Why so you two can make out more?”  Jeremy griped.  WE WISH!)

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Don’t mind if we do  . . .

Of course, Kol killed Scary Mary, before they got there.  Now, not only will we never get to meet Scary Mary.  We aren’t going to find out which Original sired her . . . probably for another season or so.  Maybe I’m exaggerating.  But I’m starting to think not.  Kol starts beating Damon up again.  Because it seems that poor Damon can’t go two episodes without getting torture or a beat down.  That’s just the price you pay for being a stud, I guess.

On a shippers note, I did love how both Elena and Damon put themselves in harms way to protect their makeout buddies.  “Don’t you touch her,” Damon growled, thereby causing my panties to drop again for about the 80th time this hour.

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But be wary, Delena fans.  Angst is-a comin . . .

In which Elena screws everything up (AGAIN),  but Rose gives us hope . . .

Outside Scary Mary’s house, Damon and Elena fondle one another’s wounds, as we know they LOOOOVE to do with one another.

But Damon makes the mistake of asking Elena what her sudden change of behavior is all about.  “Stefan thinks I have feelings for you,” Elena mumbles pathetically.

“Do you?” Damon asks stupidly?

(Really Damon?  You have to ask.  I mean, did you WATCH that hotel scene?)

“I don’t know,” replies Elena.

(AGRRRRHHHHH!  These people are killing me!)

Then, Elena has to go be all b*tchy, and admit that part of her was hoping that Damon would sabotage their makeout session, so Elena wouldn’t have to face the fact that she’s in love with someone who isn’t SAINT Stefan.

As frustrating as this scene was, I have to say, I was super proud of Damon for staunchly refusing to behave badl, thereby giving Elena an excuse to deny her feelings, and go running back to Stefan again.  Things may have ended badly between Damon and Elena, this week.  But I think, overall, it was a positive thing that Damon held his ground and leveled the playing field.  It’s about time, Elena chose a Salvatore once and for all, based on her true feelings, and not on some lame technicality . . .

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On the car ride home, Ghost Rose whispers in Jeremy’s ear that Damon and Elena had a fight, which is why they are now not talking, whereas, prior to this, they were eating one another’s faces.  (Well, THANKYOU, Captain Obvious!  And here, I thought they had just caught a bad case of mono / bronchitus, from all that kissing they were doing earlier.)

But like I said, I can’t bash Rose any more . . . especially not when she assumes the voice of the entire Delena fandom, by explaining why exactly, Stefan is the “safe” choice for Elena (because Rippers are SUPER safe), while Damon is the SEXY choice.  “She makes him a better person.  But he changes her too,” she explains surprisingly eloquently.  Damon challenges [Elena].  He makes her question her beliefs.  He is either the best thing for her or the worst.”

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Well, I’m going to go with THE BEST . . . but, other than that, I really couldn’t have said it myself.  I never thought I’d say this, but THANK YOU, Rose.  Thanks a lot.  (And, hey, if you ever want a side career, in TV recapping, you know who to call . . .)

Welcome back, Psycho Killer!

Back in Psycho Killer rehab, Alaric has woken up from his neckbreaking still himself . . . unfortunately.  Now, Stefan has to resort to beating Good Alaric up, in order to get Bad Alaric to come out and play.  Alaric even removes his ring, to raise the stakes.  It’s a surprisingly unpleasant scene, with Alaric bleeding everywhere, and Stefan desperately trying to fight the bloodlust he NEEDS to make this happen.

Eventually, Psycho!Alaric does appear.  And he starts flinging insults at Stefan like it’s his job.  “You’re pathetic,” he sneers.  “You’re nothing,” etc. etc.

But Psycho!Alaric isn’t all that smart, apparently, because it only takes him about two minutes to reveal that he hid the stake in the cave “where no vampire can get it.”  (Seriously, what’s with these people and caves?  Doesn’t anyone in Mystic Falls like to hang out above ground anymore?)

Of course, by the time Stefan and Psycho!Alaric arrive upstairs, Klaus and Rebekah are already waiting for them.  “Rebekah” gallantly offers to escort Psycho!Alaric to the cave, so Klaus can flirt some more with Stefan.  Honestly, Klaus has such a big boner for Stefan it’s not even funny.  It makes his boner for Caroline, look like . . . well . . .a handdrawn picture of a pony.  “I want my friend back,” Klaus gripes.

But Stefan isn’t about to be won over so easily this time.  He’s accepted his Ripperness, dagnamit!  And now NO ONE can control him . . . well . . . except for maybe Elena . . . boyfriend is TOTALLY whipped.

Here comes the TWIST . . .

Meanwhile, over in the caves, Psycho!Alaric, knowing he’s in grave danger of an Original Ass-Whipping / Cave Murder, tries to strike a deal with Klaus Barbie, before he crosses the threshhold back to where vampires CAN travel.  “Only one Original has to die,” he pleads.  “Help me, and I’ll make sure it’s not you.”

A fair enough proposal, but Rebekah isn’t having it . . . as she Boldly Goes into the Cave Where No Vampire Has Gone Before.  You see . . . because Rebekah isn’t a vampire anymore . . . She isn’t even Rebekah, anymore.  She’s MAMA “I WANT ALL VAMPIRES TO DIE” Esther  . . . .

. . . who’s currently borrowing her daughter’s body, like I used to borrow my best friend’s clothing in junior high.  (Her body fits better though . . . My best friend was WAY TOO TALL for me to fit in her pants.)

I smell an ALLIANCE OF EVIL . . .

And that was “Heart of Darkness” in a nutshell . . . next week we get another Deadly Decade Dance.  You can check out the Extended Promo, and a sneak peek here . . . (I’d give you the Canadian one too, if I could find it . . .)

Until next time, my fellow Fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

28 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

28 responses to “When things go bump (and grind) in the night . . . – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Heart of Darkness”

  1. imaginarymen

    “So, rather than put himself out there, and risk being rejected again, Damon turns inward. He pretends to be cold and heartless, because it’s easier that way. Because if people saw how truly large his heart was, they might toy with it, and break it. And he’s simply not ready to bear the brunt of that pain for another eternity.”

    YES!! So well said Julie!! And it’s exactly what makes Damon so intriguing (along with the snark and abs of course!)

    You should be happy to know that during the Delena scene I kept thinking of what a total Fangirlie meltdown you must be having! Stupid Jeremy Interuptus (as my mom called him 😉 Go back to sleep Legal to Lust Over with your cute new haircut!!

    And I can’t stop laughing at this: “Honestly, Klaus has such a big boner for Stefan it’s not even funny. It makes his boner for Caroline, look like . . . well . . .a handdrawn picture of a pony.” I too was like, Klaus get OVER IT! He’s just not that into you! However I think Stefan is way into Alaric though with all their brooding dark sides and sulking over Elena’s feelings for Damon. Before the fightin’ began they were homoeroticizing it up all over the place.

    I thought the Delena scene was perfectly done – it drew out the tension and captured how much Elena WANTED and how careful Damon was being to let her be the one to make the moves and not jeopardize anything. Really well played by both of them and for my money the HandSex was almost hotter than the make-out session!

    When Rose was cheerleadging Team Delena in the car I thought, “oh how much easier Dawson’s Creek would have been if Jen died sooner and came back to Ghost Whisper to everyone why Joey should be with Challenging Pacey and not Pure Hearted Dawson!” ;-00

    • You are absolutely right, Amy! I definitely think Jen from Dawson’s would have shipped Pacey and Joey from beyond the grave, and kindly told Dawson to back off. In fact, one could argue that Kevin Williamson missed an opportunity for a beyond-the-grave Jacey shipper in Abby Morgan. Remember her? Sure, she would have insulted the heck out of both of them, but a few whispered words from her, and we might not have had to wait until Season 3 for Pacey and Joey to couple. 🙂

      Speaking of Pacey and Joey, Julie Plec had mentioned that this episode was inspired a bit by Dawson’s Creek. And we all know what episode 3X19 from that show was . . . Stolen Kisses. I can definitely see the parallels between Damon and Elena’s bedtime hand fondle, and outdoor rendezvous (SHE KISSED HIM FIRST!), and the one Pacey and Joey had on Spring Break at Aunt Gwen’s house . . .

      But back to TVD, I absolutely agree with you that Damon and Elena were pure perfection for the entire hotel scene. Her overwhelming passion . . . his initial caution . . . the way they both finally gave into their passions with total reckless abandon. It couldn’t have gone better, if a DE fan had written it herself . . .

      And yeah, Klaus really needs to read “He’s just not that into you,” when it comes to Stefan. He’s starting to seem a little desperate. Take a lesson from Damon, Klaus. Hang back a bit . . . let them come to you. 🙂

  2. serendipity

    Oof, another hiatus over and done with!
    Hi Julie! You rocked your recap this week… which shouldn’t surprise me, because we finally got some of what we’ve been waiting THREE seasons for (which is not to say I don’t LOVE slowburn, but they do have to take care their slowburn doesn’t fizzle out 😉 Okay, so I’m gonna be quoting you a lot this week 😀

    For occupants of the dark and dreary dungeon, you forgot Katherine and Rebekah. It’s not just for the boys, you know 😉

    “Personally, I think Caroline won this fight, though. Her, “at least I don’t have sex with everyone I make eye contact with,” comment was filled with win.” Haha. I love Caroline, but then again, Rebekah slept for 90 years and then had sex with Damon. Girl has to prioritize, and can we really blame her? 🙂 Caroline shouldn’t be so quick to throw that particular stone… Season 1 comes to mind, when Caroline made eye contact with Damon and slept with him in the blink of that same eye. Besides, Caroline’s the one who had sex with most male regulars on the show (well, except for Stefan), not Bex… That said, I love Caroline 🙂

    “(Seriously? What is with all these guys offering up their ex-girlfriends as sexual sacrifices to the Altar of Alpha Male?)” 😉 Love triangles are all the rage, it seems… gotta keep things interesting!

    I felt sorry for Bex once again. Poor girl can’t get a break. Matt and Caroline pulled one over her, and her Mom just kicked her out of her body. Well, I guess she’s still somewhere in there, but she’s not at the helm, so to speak. And she won’t remember a thing, if it’s at all the same as Alarklaus. That being said, how did Esther do it by just holding hands? It took that warlock-I-forgot-the-name-of a strange ritual with vases of blood and stuff to get it right. And does she even have enough mojo, now that the Bennet bloodline can no longer be channeled? Dark alliance?BadRic channeling Esther, à la Marnie (witchiepoo) certainly gives me the creeps…

    Why on earth did Stefan tell Klaus that nasty tit bit of bloodline info? Of course the originals know who started the bloodline (as long as there aren’t too many kinks in the road, and it seems that this Mary person was really turned by one of them). So of course Klaus calls Kol, who conveniently happens to know the whereabouts of Rose’s vampire mommy, which happens to be conveniently close to Denver so he can hit the road and nail her to the wall (no sexual connotations intended – this time ;)… Of course, the originals don’t know that Jeremy can see ghosts, because what’s to keep them from now asking ‘dead’ Mary? Apparently it’s not necessary for Jeremy to have known the ghost in question, because he didn’t know Rose either. Which is where Damon comes in. Is there any female vampire on this entire show that Damon doesn’t ‘know’ in the biblical sense? I think I already said he’d slept with every female vampire in his bloodline, no? Well, he just confirmed that LOL. So come on, Jer. Put your ghost goggles on and get talking to Scary-not-Ugly Mary!

    Okay… I totally adored Rose. I’ve always kind of liked her, and here she really hit it out of the park. I agree that Damon is the best thing for Elena of course! How can that girl even doubt anything after she got out of breath just by lying next to Damon in a bed? She was so far gone she even forgot to take off her big, hulking earrings before going to bed 😉

    I really liked that they gave it time, building up to the kiss. Elena staring at Damon in the dark was exactly right (I was staring right along with her too 😉 Damon with his shirt hanging open is just so droolworthy). Damon’s words about expectations were so true. You said it so well: “Damon fears rejection. And why not? In a way, he’s been rejected all his life . . . by his father . . . by his brother . . . by the women he loves. So, rather than put himself out there, and risk being rejected again, Damon turns inward. He pretends to be cold and heartless, because it’s easier that way. Because if people saw how truly large his heart was, they might toy with it, and break it. And he’s simply not ready to bear the brunt of that pain for another eternity.” I’m glad Elena finally begins to see that.

    The hand fondling was really hot 😉 and the kiss, well. Let’s just say they steamed up my PC screen… But I’m actually glad that Jeremy interrupted, because Elena’s clearly out of her mind. Girl hasn’t enough proof that she loves him? She still DOESN’T KNOW? WTF? I was glad Damon questioned her, and I was really proud of him when he said he wasn’t going to screw up this time. You go, Damon. Don’t make it easy on her. She needs to make a choice already, or she’s going to become exactly like Katherine… Hmm…

    Till next week!!!

    • Hey Serendipity! You are absolutely right, Stefan did keep Katherine in that same dungeon, back in Memory Lane. (For whatever reason, it looked bigger, when she was there . . . so much bigger that I always assumed it was someplace else. Perhaps, they hadn’t settled on the set design yet.) And I guess that was also where they “stored” Rebekah, before Klaus brought her body back to his place. 😉

      You also bring up an excellent point about Caroline. She’s had almost as many sexual partners as Katherine, on the show! Though I guess she gets judged less harshly, because, unlike Rebekah, she “dated” all her sex partners . . . even Damon.

      That said, seeing how confident and well-adjusted Caroline is now, it’s easy to forget how much she used to have in common with Rebekah. Back in Season 1, it was Caroline who was insecure, longing for affection, and seeing no other way to get it, than using her sexual wiles. I guess the difference between Caroline’s rendezvous with Damon, back in Season 1, and Rebekah’s is that Caroline was largely portrayed as the victim in that situation, whereas Damon and Rebekah came into it as equals. And yet, as we saw during Break on Through, Rebekah, much like Caroline, equated the act of sex with love, even though she pretended Damon’s lack of affections for her didn’t matter. And her reaction to Damon’s dismissal of her made even staunch Damon fans like myself stop and wonder, who’s using who?

      You know, I thought the same thing when Esther took Rebekah’s body, it did seem way easier than that creepy chanting ritual Maddox did over Alaric’s body. There are a few possible explanations for this, though. One, is that Esther is a much more powerful witch than Maddox. Another is that, in this situation, it was Esther doing the switch through physical bodily contact with someone who already shares her bloodline, whereas with Alaric and Klaus, Maddox had to channel into Alaric a body that wasn’t even in the room at the time, and had no connection with Alaric whatsoever. Still, a little explanation might have been nice. Maybe we will get a few lines of dialogue explaining the discrepancy next week.

      I also like your idea about Jeremy channeling Scary Mary to find out who sired her. Though I wonder if Damon’s being the World Wide Web of Vampire Sex alone is enough to bridge that connection. After all, Rose and Damon were really more friends than they were lovers (even though they did bone, every once in a while). Something tells me with Scary Mary, the encounter was more like, “Wham Bam, Thank you Damon.” 🙂

      As for Stefan telling Klaus about the whole bloodline thing, I guess he did it in order to get an ally in finding the missing stake, whereas originally Stefan wanted to keep it hidden. Psycho!Alaric really is a true danger to the Originals now, in a way that the Scooby Gang hasn’t ever even really been before. And this puts Stefan and Klaus on the same team again . . .Plus, we all know what a soft spot Klaus has for the younger Salvatore brother. 😉

      LOL, I laughed too when I saw what Elena wore to bed with Damon . . . sexy lingerie, earrings, a necklace, perfectly coiffed hair, and full makeup. I just wish there was a scene where Caroline saw her backing. She would have given the girl hell about it, and with good reason. We’ve seen what Elena wears to bed on regular occasions, flanner shorts and a tank top. She was dressed to be screwed this time around, for sure. Then again, Damon wasn’t much better with his, “I’m going to put on a shirt, and not button it, just because I know how much more awesome that makes my abs look . . .”

      I have firsthand knowledge of how much “fun” mutual hand groping can be, when it’s with the right person . . . so I loved how the TVD writers cleverly toyed with their “T” for teen rating there . . . (fanfiction reference) . . . throughout the whole scene really. You just know if this episode had been a fanfiction, it would have been rated M, and the entire scene against the motel wall, would have been punctuated with descriptions of the characters respective “wetness and hardness,” if you catch my drift. 😉

      But I think your argument about Jeremy’s coitus interruptus actually SALVAGING the Delena relationship is a convincing one. We saw how devastated Damon was, when he realized that Elena was using him to “experiment with her feelings.” You can just imagine how he would have reacted, if he found that out, after they had slept together for the first time. I’m not quite sure a relationship could come back from that. Then again, it could also be argued, that, one roll in the hay with Damon would have Elena going, “Stefan who?” 🙂

  3. Andre

    Damn, why did you have to post it so early? I was about to send the screencaps to you when I noticed that the recap is already online. You said that you would post the recaps later now.

    Man I groaned time and again during this episode. I simply don’t understand why you liked it?
    It was totally boring and stupid.

    But before I go deeper into that I have a little prose I just finished due to the show:

    21 Ways to become Elena Gilbert or how to be the perfect damsel in distress
    1) Forgive everybody everything as long as you want them in your pants.
    2) Forgive everybody everything as long as you feel somehow sympathetic to them.
    3) Forgive everybody everything so that you will never end up alone, especially if nearly everybody of your friends already killed someone.
    4) Act like you are the center of the world and everything revolves around you.
    5) Never question where the money of your suitors comes from.
    6) Treat your younger siblings as though they are still in preschool even if the age difference between you is so small that you probably don’t even remember a time when they were not around.
    7) Enforce your own will on your younger siblings and act as though it’s a big sacrifice for you.
    8) Have an evil 500 year old vampire doppelganger that is the quintessence of the manipulative seducer even if she could get what she wants much faster by pure violence.
    9) Have a martyrdom complex and have self-sacrifice as your only way to power.
    10) Act like you work out but never gain any muscle or even definition and then apply point 9.
    11) Find the secret to be totally popular despite doing nothing for it and basically retreating from social contact with any sort of normal person.
    12) Date blood-sucking junkies and impulsive serial killers and be totally shocked if people drop dead left and right when they are around.
    13) Date two vampires at the same time, but only if they fall under the people described in point 12.
    14) Glorify your parents and have an aunt that has practically no parenting skills whatsoever.
    15) Never date anybody that is not white.
    16) Never actually be in love with anybody who does not fall under point 12 and should they not, dump them the next best chance you get.
    17) Once one of your suitors is in danger immediately abandon the best plan to save them.
    18) Be in mortal danger at least every second day.
    19) Act like you know everything better and only learn from your mistakes at a snail’s pace.
    20) Be completely oblivious to the world outside your small US-American town.
    21) Always fall for the bad boy first and foremost.

    Ok, first for Alaric’s personal hygiene: I think you should look for some picture that symbolizes shallow backgrounds; I mean in that regard this show is not even skin-deep.

    I was groaning the first time when this whole Rebekah-Karoline-Dance thing came up. Even if it was a trick by our resident blonds, why in all hell does Rebekah even care about that? And why another decade dance? What’s next? Another Ms. Mystic Falls?
    I agree with you that they could just line them up and slaughter them. Or at least give us some good old vampire slaughter.

    You probably didn’t intend to but your Alpha Male comment fits Tyler and Damon very much. But not in a good way, but in the twisted Romance novel way.
    I think another piece of prose I finished regarding Tyler will bring it across. Forwooders be warned:

    21 ways to become Tyler Lockwood or how to be a classical 21st century werewolf
    1) Have anger management issues that control your whole life and spontaneously disappear after you killed somebody and have become a werewolf.
    2) Be a total douche bag all your life but be shocked when people no longer tolerate that and might even get violent.
    3) Be heterosexual even if your character sends out massive bi-vibes and screams of repressed homosexual urges.
    4) Believe everything anybody tells you.
    5) Fall in love with everybody that somehow shows you kindness, except when they conflict with point 3.
    6) Be emotionally immature and way behind your peers.
    7) Be in your late teens and look like being in your mid to late twenties.
    8) Be a potential rapist but have a soft side.
    9) Never have the guts to defend your girlfriend from your parents, unless they are from local nobility.
    10) Suddenly fall in love with a person you knew since kindergarten and never had any sort of romantic feelings or even physical attraction before this and claim that she is your big love.
    11) Act like you hate your father (who is a douche bag as much as you are) all the time, but once he is dead act like he was a saint.
    12) Never show any sign of intelligence and be defined solely by your physical characteristics.
    13) Randomly appear and disappear.
    14) Never think about the consequences of your actions unless it’s already too late.
    15) Have heightened emotions but never show any sign of them.
    16) Have a dramatic transformation that lasts for hours and is accompanied by your loud screams but have a retransformation that works in seconds and where you make no sound at all.
    17) Rip your clothes from your wolf body even if it is actually much smaller than your human body and so at least some parts of it should stay intact.
    18) Become a vampire-werewolf hybrid and don’t even consider disobeying your new master despite the fact that he tried to kill several of your friends and risked your life for his little experiment.
    19) Introduce magical vampire enslavement and later claim that it is only because you feel obliged to your sire.
    20) State that your transformation breaks every bone in your body and later that you will be able to make it painless by transforming more often even if there is no evidence that any other werewolf ever noticed something like that despite having transformed for decades.
    21) Be saved and get better by the right girl (who showed no interest in you before the whole werewolf thing of course).

    When you actually look at it, both guys are controlling, impulsive bastards, but since this is Romance all they need is the right girl to make them better. Just like Rose stated. But in what way I wonder.
    So Elena makes Damon better and he changes her for the better? This is so nauseatingly romance novel. Why is it that no one sees that? This is along the same line like Bonnie’s grams stating that she is so proud despite the fact that she constantly messes up. Why is it that you pointed that out but in this case you are either oblivious to it or choose to look the other way? In real life Damon would be the worst thing ever happening to her but since this is TVD of course he will be more likely the best. Doesn’t that bother you?
    I mean you can’t tell me that you really think that “stories are just stories,” right?

    And the whole Jekylllaric stuff…
    Another tool for having the big three in danger. So predictable. Really am I the only one who is bothered by this?

    You forgot one thing regarding Klaus in your comment on his magical appearance:
    Technically this is still La Casa de la Gilbert so technically Klaus shouldn’t have been able to enter, but then again, Rebekah already could. This show is just great with contingency and totally avoids plot holes don’t you think?

    Personally I didn’t care whether Damon and Elena where in Denver or on the bottom of the ocean, the less I see of them the better.
    And a friend of mine pointed out that someone looking like Jeremy should be having lots of people around him already. But hey this is TVD.

    And as for Kole being “the friend,” yeah that really wasn’t surprising. Just like that Jeremy’s return would only be serving Elena’s story in the end.
    And how exactly did all this summoning Rose stuff work? I mean how can Damon thinking of her suddenly make Jeremy see her? Even afterwards? The last time stuff like that happened Bonnie had messed up her spell and now it works anyhow? How? Is Jeremy a telepath now? Like you pointed out, how could he know of the dream stuff?

    And you seriously want Rebekah to end up with Matt? That psychopath? Have you forgotten what sort of person she is?
    Actually I think that is what many fans seem to do, they simply forget what happens in the show, or they don’t care (well they and the writers). I mean, explain this to me. Why do you want to have a nice guy like Matt end up with such a sociopath?

    And speaking of that. A friend of mine called Caroline a slut for boning so fast with Tyler after he just left. And where did all those blankets and the candles suddenly come? And where is that cave anyhow? Did Tyler come to the Lockwoods cellar again?
    And Caroline’s infatuation with Klaus is so sickeningly romance novel I want to do this:

    Seriously people, who can like that? Tyler was bad enough but now Klaus? Does this show have any character left that actually is capable of seeing reality?
    And speaking of “realism:”
    Of course Damon was with an open shirt. Man this made me groan again. This whole affair (in bed and being out where it’s suddenly windy etc.) was so cheesy and stupid. We all get it, Elena is horny for Damon, Damon is horny for her and she is horny for Stefan, been there done that move on. Seriously they do it on this show all the time with all other things but not with these three. LLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And of course Damon’s “confession” explains everything about him. I guess anybody would be a blood-thirsty serial killer in his shoes. Totally understandable.

    Thankfully I am completely immune to Damon and so I see that he is basically just a coward who blames others for his own flaws and actions. No matter what the writers come up with to excuse his behavior I won’t be buying it.
    The guy murdered and tortured more than once. He is impulsive and violent. Controlling and a coward. All he has is his looks and when that doesn’t work, like in my case; you see what and who he really is.
    Damon is not a hero, or better he is a hero in the way Hercules was a hero. In the stories he bullied, killed an raped his way through his live but he became a god anyway. This is basically what Damon is, he is rewarded by you fans by being such psycho.
    This show seems to portray him as a victim, but that is not what he is. He is responsible for his own misery and if you ask me the world would be better off without him and better without Elena as well.
    Seriously? She is like a poisonous stone thrown into a pool. How much suffering has her mere existence caused?
    Can anybody deny that?

    And Scary Mary (of course man-whore Damon slept with her as well but hey he is a guy so it’s ok for him of course) was actually in Kansas. I just thought “Seriously?”

    And letting Jeremy, whom Elena supposedly wants to protect, stay outside when he is in vampire territory makes so much sense of course.
    Damn what are these writers smoking?

    This little piece of prose fits here perfectly:

    21 ways to become Jeremy Gilbert or how to be the perfect victim
    1) Be totally oblivious to the fact that you look like a model.
    2) Always surround yourself with people who are oblivious to the fact that you look like a model.
    3) Be heterosexual even if you character sends out massive bi-vibes.
    4) Have girlfriends and family members that drop dead left and right around you.
    5) Despite all the death around you never suffer from any depression or drug abuse, except of course your parents die.
    6) Forget your daily vervain intake to make yourself be open for any sort of compulsion from any run-of-the-mill vampire despite the fact that you are in constant mortal danger and already died more than once.
    7) Have thick arms and a muscled torso but never use them except a day before you suddenly leave town.
    8) Be friends with total strangers.
    9) Act like every company is right as long as it is company and never realize that this implies that you feel totally alone.
    10) Suddenly fall in love with your sister’s best friend.
    11) Be in your mid-teens even if you look like a grown man and act according to point 7.
    12) See dead people and start a relationship with them.
    13) Have an older sister that forces her will on you and acts as though she sacrifices something.
    14) Adapt remarkably quickly to all sorts of dangerous situations but let yourself be treated as though you’re still in diapers.
    15) Never say anything when people mistreat you and always forgive them.
    16) Be the only person around you who has mixed-race relationships.
    17) Be either punching bag or a tool to be used.
    18) Be left alone in dangerous surroundings by the people that supposedly want to protect you.
    19) Be in constant danger because of the people who want to protect you.
    20) Have a ring that protects you from death by supernaturals and who for some inexplicable reason might change you into a psychopath.
    21) Start out as the most intelligent of your group and later loose that intelligence completely.

    But speaking about smoking stuff:
    And now that Stefan accepted his dark side it can no longer control him? And he took over 100 years to figure that out?
    And this whole bringing the truth out of dark Alaric and letting him search the cave? Why didn’t Klaus simply compel about a dozen people and let them search that cave? And what is it about all this having Stefan back? Seems like I was totally right about him when I wrote another piece of prose:

    21 ways to become Klaus or how to be the world’s biggest (and oldest) Diva
    1) Be a 1000 years old vampire that is the offspring of a Native American werewolf from the East coast of North America but look nowhere like a member of those Nations from the 11th century.
    2) Live in a family where both parents are blond and except for you and your half-sister all others are brunette.
    3) Be an artist who burns his art once his muse doesn’t like him anymore.
    4) Never have a job and steal everything you own, including the big mansions you leave in.
    5) Always speak with a British accent, even though you were born and raised among Norsemen.
    6) Create a set of completely ridiculous stories (which every smart person would know for being frauds) for getting the ingredients to break a curse that was put on you and distribute it among all cultures you know off.
    7) Act like you are a spoiled upper class brat in her mid teens with anger management issues.
    8) Torture people for no apparent reason and prefer to drink from skinny and pale girls.
    9) Claim that you want to turn into a werewolf but except for the first time never use it again.
    10) Alienate your whole family from you and then bitch about being alone and always being misunderstood.
    11) Act like you have an abusive father simply because he didn’t see you as a man.
    12) Have spontaneous episodes of genius ideas but usually act like if you have no life-experience at all.
    13) Have a mother who looks so young that she couldn’t possibly have given birth to you.
    14) Haven heightened vampire senses who spontaneously fail all the time.
    15) Kill your stepfather in a ridiculous standoff after running away from him for 1000 years.
    16) Fall in love with some neurotic blond control freak or a girl with child out of wedlock. Both must be significantly younger than you!!!!
    17) Be completely incapable of dealing with not getting what you want and then act according to point 7.
    18) Create a master race that is supposedly more powerful than any vampire or werewolf but drop dead like flies left and right.
    19) Create a whole gang of mindless slaves who are around you all the time, except for the one who is closest to your enemies, to serve as your surrogate family.
    20) Once your biological family is back send your slaves somewhere and never talk about them anymore.
    21) Stake your whole family, put them in coffins, destake them after you killed their biological father and then expect that they will just forgive you everything.

    I knew that “Rebekah” would be saying that she wants all Originals to die before she said even the first letter. Well that its Esther in there is somehow better than usually but it doesn’t save this episode one bit. But wouldn’t you think that the fact that Rebekah’s body is still that of a vampire that the same rules still apply? I mean if possessing makes the body change that much shouldn’t AlaKlaus have been unable to enter a home uninvited?

    Seriously, what redeeming qualities does this show actually have?

    This is basically everything I have to say about this episode simply because there is nothing more to say as it seems. It was predictable and boring all the way. Only a Delena fan might have enjoyed the episode and as should be pretty obvious by anyone reading these recaps by now, I am not a Delena fan whatsoever.

    Oh and one thing:
    Where was Bonnie all the time?

    • Hey Andre! You do know that this is the latest I’ve ever posted a TVD recap, don’t you? 🙂 Believe it or not, I used to post them about 12 hours earlier than I do now. I’m a Naughty Recapper, I know! 😦

      But as I said to you in my e-mail, I’m truly sorry about missing your photo recap. I really would have loved some of your awesome screencaps in here, particularly the ones of Rebekah, Esther, and Matt . . . characters who often tend to be left out of the GIF brigade on Tumblr, and are therefore more difficult for me to capture without your expertise.

      So, why did I like this episode, you ask? Because I’m a Delena shipper, of course. 🙂 And when you truly love a fictional pair, and they spend about five minutes of your episode fondling eachother, and making out, I think you can forgive a lot, in terms of plot inconsistencies and such.

      I guess, when it comes down to it, I look to my television shows for entertainment, and escapism from the tedium of REAL life. I like snark, sex, blood, witty dialogue, and pretty people staring at me from my big screen. Is it shallow? Sure. But I’m a hardworking educated gal, and I think I’ve earned a little shallow in my life. I mean, if I wanted realism, and depth, I’d watch CNN all the time, or the Discovery Channel, or Masterpiece Theater. There’s enough seriousness in our day-to-day world, that at night, it’s nice to just have fun . . . at least, that’s how I feel.

      I do think the writers have completely abandoned the notion that vampires can’t enter La Casa de Rich and Awesome, so I stopped bringing it up in my recaps. Someone once told me it had something to do with Elena’s temporary death reverting ownership of the home back to the Salvatores. It’s a kind of convenient technicality. But what can you do?

      That said, I was confused by the notion that, in Esther’s body Rebekah can cross the threshhold into “no vampire zone,” because she’s a witch, underneath her body. But AlarKlaus was able to enter the Salvatore House, when it was still DEFINITELY owned by Elena for the exact opposite reason. Sometimes I think the mythology of this show confuses even its own writers. 🙂

      And I agree with you, that it seemed strange that they left Jeremy outside Scary Mary’s house. Granted, he was probably safer there than in Mary’s house, but that made him a pretty big target for anyone working for Kol, and for Kol himself, who clearly anticipated Elena’s and Damon’s trip beforehand.

      As for Bonnie, I can’t say I really missed her all that much, this week. (I was preoccupied with Delena.) But if you MISSED her, you’ll be glad to know that she will be prominently featured in next week’s installment.

      Oh, and I loved your lists by the way. I have no doubt that they will intensely anger a substantial portion of the fandom. But that’s kind of what makes them so much fun. 🙂

      • Andre

        Hi Julie, I think your last TVD recap was actually even later. I remember that you posted it on Saturday.

        Ok before I start I actually forgot one thing of the episode:
        This mommy watched you when you cried speech of Esther. Gosh what a stupid scene. So Rebekah cried so much during all this time? So what? Should that make her sympathetic? Not for me. She did too much to simply deserve such things. This basically means that she willingly stayed a child for one thousand years and possibly let herself be abused by Klaus (interestingly she was totally absent when Klaus met Katherine albeit she seemed to know her, or was referring to “Tatja”) or her brothers. I mean she willingly stayed with Klaus instead of going with Elijah or make it on her own? I mean let’s say Klaus would have wanted to stake her in that case it would have been her and Elijah against Klaus, hm doesn’t seem such a tough decision to me now. And the seriously everybody here must have noticed that Klaus is not the big supervillain he was introduced as.
        A person like Rebeka no longer causes sympathy in me, rather a desire that somebody actually speaks turkey with her. But if that happens she would probably attack him and there is always the fact that she is so strong. So basically we would need a character which she cannot harm, not just theoretically but really. But for this to happen they would need an even stronger one, a whole species perhaps, but that one would need to be so powerful that they wouldn’t ever be bothered by vampires. Of course if they apply some sort of realism that is. Based on how the show is such a character could simply pop out of nowhere and then disappear again, kind of like the Bennet relative back in season 2.

        I understand the appeal of a favorite TV-Couple but I cannot understand how you can simply overlook such things. This is a mystery to me.
        I also understand to escape from real life but does it have to be with such a show? When the flaws are practically flying into your face there is the border for me. I want things that keep my mind fresh one way or another. That is possibly what intrigues me about Game of Thrones and I basically watched Breaking Dawn because of curiosity about the screen adaptation. Perhaps I will search for its messages on racism and colonialism, as well as Mormonism, in the next part. 😉

        Was the “Elena’s death reverting the ownership to the Salvatores” an official statement or a fan-based explanation?

        I was rather pointing out that Bonny was missing despite the fact that they could have made use of her here. Like I wrote in the upper comment: if you make her a tool at least make her a good one.

        And don’t worry about possible reactions to the lists, I once had a guy on youtube who constantly told me to kill myself simply because I didn’t agree with his opinion (for which he never provided solid evidence) on the noble savage state of native Americans. So I will be fine.^^

      • Andre

        Damn, I have to post it like this:

        Would this show be realistic I think it would be better. A new love for Stefan would stick around longer and not be killed after a few days already and this show wouldn’t have these intensely shallow background and plot holes.
        Actually I think that apart from this fast pace TVD actually plays safe 100% in either direction. Another reason I cannot understand why it holds such intense interest. Can this whole “romance” stuff really have such an appeal to make up for the shows many (really many) flaws?
        Not even would what they do be horrible in real life it is also in the show. Or did you forget what Damon did? And you even agreed with my lists on Jeremy and Tyler. Ever since the first season when did we have the other characters in a plot that also portrayed them as having lives of their own? And it shows if you ask me. Like Julie pointed out in a previous recap: Why does Matt know how to break in? Or to take last season: how to shoot? They never presented anything in that regard, considered his parentage he was rather considered as the complete opposite, as someone who doesn’t even remotely want to go in that direction. But they introduced it anyway. And they also only follow the rules they themselves created when it suits their whims.

        Saying that this is a vampire show and therefore you cannot expect realism is not a good approach in my eyes, not when you really think about what that means. If you really go by that everything no matter how ridiculous would be allowed, e.g. you could give them a magical flute that summons a horde of unicorns that kill their enemies in a stampede. It would be just as legitimate. But would anybody actually want that?

        And is it a good thing to simply accept such things when they are fantasy? What you read and see influences you so is it good to just consume such stuff when you clearly know how it would look in real live? And what is the reason to see it then anyway?
        I read that for many women romance novels, which is what the show is, is actually a way to escape reality because it romanticizes the bad things they have to deal with in everyday life. And I think there might be something to that. You said that these people are horrible in real life so what is the reason to watch this?

        And why is it a good way that “anything goes.” I mean they are not even doing it in a good way. To give another example, back in Charmed when the character Cole became invincible they at least showed that (they had him throw fireballs at himself and all the like) or back in Buffy with the Mayor they did it several times but in this show there was nothing. They simply stated that nothing can kill an Original and that they are, apart for the dagger and that white ashwood tree, indestructible. But at the same time their bodies can be stabbed with normal wood, as shown in the current episode. But none of the characters even tried to chop the head off of one of those while they were unconscious. The only thing they had was that little flame thrower of Damon’s in season 2 but such a thing already wouldn’t burn a fresh human corpse so easily so why should it with a vampires? Or why didn’t they simply have Bonnie try to remove the magic of their daylight rings? If she is a tool anyway then at least they could make her a good one. But no, everything must be so that it serves the main three and creates “suspense” and that all the time. How can that not get boring?

        And where is the suspense anyway? This show has done with Elena and Stefan what they are doing now so long how can anybody not be bored by it? I don’t understand that? There was nothing new, it was totally predictable. It was clear that something like this would be happening ever since early season 1. So why are so many people thrilled by this?
        Can anybody please explain this to me? I try to get it but I fail every time.

        And also stories are not “just stories” in my eyes. It might be good if it were so but things simply don’t work that way. They never did as it seems. What you watch is at once a reflection of yourself and on the other hand influences you.
        To give some examples:
        1) The headband of “Indians” and their connection with the horse.
        2) The inferiority of “Blacks.”
        3) Twilight
        4) The femininity of Asians.
        5) The intelligence of Asians.
        6) The Noble Savage.
        I could go on but these six things are well known so I think everybody who reads this would be familiar with them. They are started out as mere stories and at least 5 of them become culturally ingrained stereotypes, further encouraging racism. They actually influenced TVD as well. Do you remember Elijah’s speech about the Indian village (which of course where werewolves) as well as the “wild horses?” That is a pretty good example. And Bonny seems to be a mixture of tokenism and the magical negro. I can be wrong of course, I openly admit that but currently I cannot see evidence for the show not being that way.

        I am also aware of this “just accepting” somebody attitude. But does anybody really want that? And is it good to just accept someone like Damon? Or just accept Caroline’s attitude when she was newly turned? Didn’t seem to be so uncommon among Forwooders to see Matt as abusive when what he did was actually the right thing to do, otherwise he would have let himself tyrannized by Caroline. Seriously why should that be a good thing to simply “accept?” Because you have to accept all sides of a person? Why? No one who ever applied this attitude could ever tell me why it is a good thing. And I don’t even know of a case where that turned out well.

        It’s the same with Klaus. There are many fans out there now who think that being a creepy psycho is hot, whether they are serious I don’t know but I cannot understand how you can like this Klaus Caroline stuff in that way. Is everything allowed in this show as long as it gets you this totally weird and twisted version of “romance?”

      • Andre

        by the way my last post was in response to Maddy, but seemingly I could only post it like this. I guess something didn’t load again on my site. *gggrrrr*

  4. Hi, dear.
    I almost died with this episode. Seriously.
    I think it became one of my favorites, not just for the kissing scene (that is obvious we all expected) but I loved Damon more than ever and that is A LOT of love.
    I would be Delena fan if Elena wasn´t Elena, but being such a fan of Damon, I want what he want. I´m a weird Delena fan.
    I loved the scene in the hotel, I loved his face when he saw Elena looking at him and when he lie in bed beside her, I don´t know, something was different this time, the way he telling Elena (so serious, so honest) about the other´s expectations, for me was a way of saying he could change many things but deep down, it will always be that darkness in him, that wild thing that Elena will have to accept at once, if she want him in her life. It was so honest, so beautiful.
    I loved that: “Why not?”, so full of life (and he is dead!), with the charm of the Here and Now that governed his all life, and he wearing it tattooed on his arm. 😉

    There was a scene that made ​​me sad at first, but then I think it was great and was the scene where Damon says he is not going to make it easy for her, and this time, he will not become the evil so Elena has a easiest choice.
    Damon was great in this episode, beautiful, honest, a little sad, so brave and shirtless enought. I love him so hard that I can cry.

    I don´t know what happend before and after that, yet. I´m sorry. I’ll find out soon, when I stop watching the same scene over and over again.

    Detail: Elena runs from a machine with de word “Cold” to the Hottest man/vampire in the world. 🙂

    As always, sorry for my english and thank you for the recap.

    Vulnavia

    • I think you expressed the complexity and poignancy of the Delena scene beautifully, Vulnavia. I couldn’t have said it better myself. And I love the metaphor you pointed out, with Elena running past the “cold” ice machine into her heated moment with Damon.

      I do think Ian Somerhalder’s acting really clinched this moment for me this week. The expression on Damon’s face, when he finally saw in Elena’s eyes his own passion, lust and desire reflected back at him, was so exciting. I was just so happy for Damon, when Elena finally gave in to her desires. You could see that there was a part of Damon that breathed a sigh of relief. He had all that pent-up energy from years of longing . . . and you just know he would have loved her forever, getting nothing in return. But now, he knows he won’t have to do so.

      And I think it was that confidence Damon got, from seeing Elena’s passion firsthand, that enabled him to say what he said to her toward the end of the episode. Damon realized that his defense mechanism of hiding the good inside of him, was also Elena’s defense mechanism. He used it to keep himself from getting hurt. And she used it to keep herself from truly exploring her feelings for him.

      Damon’s done hiding who he is, and he’s done letting Elena take the easy way out of love. She’s going to have to make this decision between the brothers on the merits. And we all know, deep down, what the ultimate result should be. 🙂

  5. East Coast Captain

    What an episode.

    Delena finally kissing, how the fans want them to be kissing no smooching but full on make out. 🙂

    Hopefully people have not spoke to soon about Delena. There is a lot of talk mostly about how Elena has been behaving, Delena has taken a lot of hits this season and how Elena has been a biatch to the brothers mostly to Damon.

    As for Stefan, he needs a new love interest. It would be biased if he didn´t while Delena are together. Paul Wesley agrees that Stefan needs a love interest, he needs some love. They really need to change up Stefan.

    • Andre

      They need to change alot in this show if you ask me. But how big are the chances on that?
      Let’s say they give Stefan a “new love interest,” how long would she be there? A few episodes at most.
      If the writers and producers wanted anything different than this constant triangle they would have introduced it by now.
      And can you really say that this show as anything to offer if your not Delena, Stelena or Forwood shipper?

      • Maddy

        Andre you’re right – the show is bascially about a love triangle, that’s the whole point, but my little brother who is 14 really enjoys watching it with me and he doesn’t ship anyone! Well, he thinks Damon is kind of cool but he’s not interested in romance.
        Your reply made me all depressed D: I totally agree that in real life, all these characters would be horrible. I too hate the idea of Klaroline and Matt/Rebekah. But then it is a tv show, so anything goes! You can’t expect it to be realistic when the main plot hook is a vampire love triangle. Complaining that it’s OTT Mills and Boon romantic is sort of redundant since the show is, well….a ROMANCE! 😛
        I had to agree with all of your points about Tyler and Jeremy though. Jer is a total tool and Tyler is just thick as anything.
        East Coast Captain I think Steffie needs some love aswell 🙂 he was looking very forlorn. Though it seems him and Elena will have some scenes next episode, no doubt however they’ll just annoy me. Plus, he’s too goody goody to go and get himself a girlfriend when he still loves Elena :L Aw, poor St Stefan. 😛

    • I agree, East Coast Captain. They should really consider bringing in a new love interest for Stefan. Love triangles are great and all, but pining after Elena for years on end, can’t be great Stefan’s self esteem . . . just as pining over Katherine for 100 plus years wasn’t good for Damon’s.

      I’m also not so sure that Elena makes Stefan HAPPY. He certainly hasn’t seemed happy lately. The thing about Damon and Elena is that they balance one another out, personality-wise, whereas Stefan and Elena always struck me as being a bit too much alike. Stefan needs a girl who doesn’t take herself so seriously . . . someone who can loosen him up, and get him to have fun for a change. I’m not quite sure who that person is, but I hope the writers find her soon.

      • Angela

        I’ve always assumed that person would end up being Katherine. She is the one who keeps popping back up for Stefan, and who genuinely cared for him, in her own weird way. I believe, In the deleted scenes of when they were trapped in the cave, there is a moment where Katherine admitted to wanting to change, too. The back flashes of when Katherine were human have always been interesting, as I think they may have a lot more significance later on. Just would be an interesting twist/tie in to the beginning of the series. She is the one who started it all, after all 😉

  6. serendipity

    Jules, I forgot this. Undoubtedly you already saw it. The newest poster… Is it significant that Damon and Elena are closest together and that they form a heartshape with the flow of blood? http://www.vampire-diaries.net/tv-series/tvd-may-sweeps-poster-soon-the-last-drop-will-be-drawn
    Andre will probably shoot me now 😉 Sorry for being a hopeless romantic…

    • Thanks so much for sharing the poster, Serendipity. I saw a few of the ones they released earlier this month, but I hadn’t seen this one. Normally, I don’t put too much stock in the posters, in terms of plot significance, because I always assumed that the CW promo department made them, as opposed to the writers. On the other hand, there was clearly significance to earlier posters this season, since they included the tree, which we know now is the much fabled White Oak Tree. I like the way that the bloodl “river” flows across the tree and touches both Damon and Stefan, in what I suspect is a symbolic representation of their vampire bloodline. It also touches Elena, which could represent that her blood will also somehow play a role in the brothers fate.

      But I also agree that it is significant that a blood heart seems to connect the three (though it seems to connect Damon and Elena more, YAYYY! ;)). I also wonder why Damon’s clothes look all torn up, while Elena and Stefan look completely clean cut.

      Of course, all this probably means nothing. But it’s still a hot poster . .. one of my favorites of the season. (And Damon’s hair is much improved from previous posters. So the promo department seems to have noted our earlier complaints, which is nice.)

  7. Tricus

    Yeah well I didn’t watch this episode. I saw the Delena moments that was posted on YT though. I enjoyed them
    I think people stating ” if this was real life etc…” does not accomplish anything. This is not real life. This is a TV show. Suspend your reality and go into another universe when watching.
    Stop comparing a “make believe” story to real life and just enjoy or stop watching.
    Anyway I always liked Rose. She was good for Damon because she was the ONLY woman who accepted Damon for himself, was his friend, knew he was in love with Elena but still had a “normal”relationship with him. Plus she wasn’t mean to Elena and the gang after she was brought into the fold.
    So I never had a problem with her though I am a Delena fan. Since some fans or whomever wanted things spelled out or was clueless about the difference between Stefan and Damons’ love for Elena then the writers dumbed it down for some. I don’t hate Stefan or Stefan/Elena romance, I just think it is not going to stand up to the test of life/unlife.
    Most long time DE fans knew though. All we want right now is to hear and see Elena’s feelings and not have her give the same old tired excuse of “I don’t know” because it’s obvious she knows her feelings, she just doesn’t know what to do about it,how not to hurt either brother or how her decision will affect her life/friendships with Bonnie, Caro etc.. afterward..
    That’s how I see it and that is why she wants Damon to mess up, like he said, so the decision is easier and she can go back to living in her safe, no drama, world.
    If she choose either brother there will be some drama because there will be hurt feelings.
    Can’t get away from it, when it’s brothers.
    Anyway I don’t know if I will watch the next epi live. Not feeling it. Great twist though of having Esther take over Rebekah body.

    • Well said, Tricus. As much as I loved Rose’s speech about Damon and Elena, it did feel a bit like the writers were trying to justify something that didn’t really need justifying. In the writers defense, however, I’d like to think that Rose said what she said more because JEREMY needed to hear it than for a more “meta” reason. After all, up until this week, Jeremy was forever missing those key Delena moments. And for that reason, seeing Elena hook up with her ex boyfriend’s brother . . . the guy who once killed him . . . was probably a bit shocking. 🙂

      But you are right. Us Delena fans are pretty darn smart! We definitely didn’t need a road map to understand our ship. And, for Stelena fans, they probably aren’t ever really going to see things from our perspective. So, there’s really no need to try and sway their opinion.

      As far as Elena is concerned, from what I hear from Julie Plec, she will make her decision this season. So, at least we won’t have to deal with the frustration of her waffling much longer. I think it will ultimately be better for both brothers, and their relationship with one another that she makes A choice, whatever that choice might be. (Of course, the fact that I hope she chooses Damon shouldn’t surprise anybody.)

      And I can certainly understand your reasoning for not being particularly excited for next week’s episode. From what I hear about it, Delena fans aren’t going to like it nearly as much as they enjoyed this one. 😦

      But hey, no matter what happens now, we’ll always have MOTEL SEX on our side! 🙂

  8. Angela

    I seriously love your recaps, and this one was no exception! Always good to read from another Delena Shipper’s perspective 😉

    Anywho, I loved the build up to their kiss. I don’t think it was just out of lust that she was watching him, but also seemed reflective as well. When he caught her staring, his look is not the the normal arrogant, “I’m so hot” response that Damon would usually have. It’s one of both surprise and confusion. He’s vulnerable in that moment, and his face completely shows it. He doesn’t want to read into it, but for both of them, it’s a moment of remembering the friendship they had while Stefan was gone. It wasn’t mushy or cheesy, just him trying again to test their boundaries and make Elena understand what they could have. It’s a change from even earlier in the episode, as he had said to Stefan that now he was “good again” that he would get to “have the girl but lose his edge.” Instead now, Damon’s thinking over whether that statement was true. I love that call back to the close friendship and dependence they had shared before Stefan had return, and how it was mirrored for the viewers by Damon laying down next to Elena, and she’s completely fine with it, much like it had been earlier in the season. And, on Elena’s part, her being fine with it is very unlike the recent Elena we’ve seen, who’s been treating Damon like crap to try to cover her feelings. When she takes the time to really consider Damon’s character and each new side she sees of him, there’s that questioning attitude of whether she knows him better than everyone else (i.e. how everyone freaked originally at her and Damon getting along before), or if she’s just kidding herself and he’s just a heartless vampire with no redeeming character whatsoever.

    The hand moment, oh my gosh. Perfection!
    He had such an honest look, waiting for her reaction. I love how she looks at him, and just kind of stays there a minute, watching him, not jerking her hand away as Damon probably expected her to, before the reality of what she’s doing hits her and she takes off outside. I actually like Elena’s response, as it shows both her confliction of Damon and herself. If she chooses him, it would mean she’s choosing her own opinion above ALL of her friends judgment, which is difficult to do when it’s just your family, let alone EVERYONE you know. Then he’s outside, and there’s just this moment where she chooses herself, and bam! Smooches him 😛

    And then of course, Jeremy comes out with that tone of condemnation, and reminds her of all her fears once again.

    Damon’s response at the end of the episode was so awesome. He’s literally forcing her to cope with her feelings, and letting her know that he isn’t going to sway her decision this time by how he treats her, i.e. either by “messing things up again” as she claimed OR by treating her too gently/letting her see how much he cares for her. He isn’t going to try to manipulate her, as he would anyone else, because even after all the ridiculous stuff she’s done, he trusts her enough to either choose him or it be that she never cared enough at all. He doesn’t want another Katherine, and makes that very clear this time around. 😉

    Damon’s back to his quick quips and snarky attitude, without all the guilty slaughtering, and coupled with a grasp of his ever present humanity/character that he tried to not remember for the past hundred and fifty or so years, and is now being forced to. He’s understanding who he is, and really coming to terms with why he acts like he does, and through it all, Elena is seeing it and comprehending it. It is excellent.

    All that to say… I do wish more stuff had happened in this episode, such as an awkward/fun car ride up to see Jeremy, and perhaps a nicer/less sketchy motel room for them. I really liked the Rebekah twist, but I am actually getting tired of the Forwood drama. They were great in the beginning, but I dunno, I feel like they’ve kind of lost their sparkle for me since the whole “tyler felt betrayed and therefore it was okay for that pack of werewolves to kill all of them” moment. I liked the Alaric/Stefan moments, especially as Damon was still kind of being reminded to both of them as he had suggested the alcohol and also had enough humor of the situation to prank Alaric with the Jekyll and Hyde book for “boring reading.” I miss the unexpected history trips of this show! Old acquaintances/past characters don’t get boring for me if it’s pursued well enough (i.e. how they added to Katherine’s past by having her meet Elijah and be turned by Rose in the first place, and the ramifications that had on everyone.) I do feel they could have had a great time with the meeting of “scary mary” and added more to the Originals lore/plot, but instead they just copped out and had her killed by Kole. Disappointment.

    • Hey Angela! Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your kind words. I’m thrilled that you’ve been enjoying my recaps. They really are a labor of love for me. And, of course, you know I’m always super excited to meet a fellow Delena shipper. We’re like one big happy family!

      I loved your take on the moment when Elena was staring at Damon. Sometimes when I recap, I simplify things on purpose to make them funnier, or dirtier, as the case may be. But I agree with you. Elena’s roving of Damon’s anatomy was more than just about sex. I think she was trying to decide what she felt for him . . . if she truly loved him . . . and whether or not she had the courage, or trusted herself enough to explore those possibilities.

      I also think Damon’s reaction was a mixture of surprise, amusement, confusion, and . . . yeah . . . some vulnerability. He sensed something had changed in their relationship, but wasn’t sure what. And he had to tread carefully, not only so as not to scare off Elena, but to protect himself from getting hurt. He had to let her make the first move. But he also couldn’t let her run away, after that hand fondling moment, without at least letting her know he knew what she was feeling . . . because he felt it too.

      And I think it was important to have Elena be the one who kissed HIM this time. If he kissed her again, he would never know her true feelings, and neither would she. It had to happen precisely the way it did. And the moment was all the more intense and more beautiful for it, I think.

      As much as I adored the Delena scenes in this episode, you and I definitely seem to be on the same page, when it comes to the general lack of action in the remainder of the episode. Tyler and Caroline were sexy together . . . but, after three or four episodes of seeing them do nothing but hump, I’m starting to forget that wonderful connection they shared with one another, back when Tyler was first learning to cope with being a werewolf. And I would have LOVED to see more of the Delena road trip than just the hotel scene . . . a comedic car ride, an awkward trip to a stinky gas station bathroom, traveling through airport security with bloodbags in their laptop cases, watching the flight attendants (male and female)ogle Damon, and seeing Elena react with jealousy . . . so many great opportunities were lost here, I think.

      And even though Scary Mary probably DID have to die, so that we draw out the bloodline question a bit longer, I would have liked to have met her, even for a few minutes . . . just to find out what made her so scary . . . and to see her hit on Damon, and insult Elena a little bit. That would have been fun.

      Who knows? Maybe she will get a flashback at somepoint along the way . . . I mean, they have to find out who sired her eventually, right? 🙂

  9. Great recap, Julie! You clearly enjoyed writing this one. 😉 I thought about you while watching it, how you’ve been waiting so long for this moment. By and large I liked this episode, but, strangely, I could hardly remember what I enjoyed about it. Maybe it’s better that way. I watched it way later than normal because there were literally no storylines that interested me anymore. But now I’m back to pleasantly enjoying it, without anymore obsession. Finn’s death killed that for me–not just because of Finn, but because it killed my hopes for original family character development.

    As for Damon and Elena, I generally do like their relationship, but it’s not one I think about after the show’s done, or even in other parts of the episode. When their bedroom scene began I cringed and laughed, but the scene very much improved for me. I just thought it hilarious that she was staring at his hot bod after all the good and bad they’ve been through. Like “ooh I never noticed what a sexy guy.” I thought it was unbelievably bad, but I liked the fact that he saw her looking and she eventually just went for it. Also, I don’t think Elena’s reservations about Damon’s impulses were trivial–he has KILLED her brother and more, just because she turned him down. But I loved Damon’s response.

    Of course my favorite part was the Klefan scene. I just hope their relationship isn’t over for good, hehe. I also wish they would explain more. When was it established that Damon didn’t give a crap about Tyler? Did anyone talk about that? What? And Klaroline is another pet peeve… unless Caroline turns to the dark side, as there have been a few hints at, their “relationships” bothers me to no extent. I just… why would she keep his drawing? Because he’s cute? Someone who terrorizes you and your friends is not attractive! At least Elena had time to get to know Damon, while she started falling for Stefan when he was in good boy mode.

    As for Andre’s comments, I do think that people can enjoy shows and not be totally brainwashed by them. I don’t always take The Vampire Diaries very seriously. And I enjoy some old (and even new) films and tv shows even if aspects are offensive. On the other hand, I agree that consistency is what draws me in, even in a fantasy context. A show should follow its own rules. I like TVD as it is, but it would be in my upper echelon of television if it did that, if it explored issues more consistently and characters reacted and developed more realistically. Inconsistencies, cliches, and stereotypes can throw me completely out of a story, and Andre is probably the same way.

    Well, I look forward to next week’s review.

    • Hey Noelle! Awww, you thought about ME, while Elena and Damon were humping. I’m honored! 🙂

      You know, I can absolutely relate to going from being obsessed with a TV show, to just casually viewing it. I’ve always sort of felt like I have “relationships” with the shows I watch. Like any new relationship, when I first start watching a show I really like, it’s all lusty, hot and heavy between us. I’m watching the show super close to the television . . . I’m lurking around the message boards, after it’s over . . . I’m thinking about the events of the show hours after it aired. Then, things kind of simmer down to a slow boil with me and the show. We’re cool and all, but I’m not obsessing, and a bit of the surge of passion has died, or at least leveled off. Then, with some shows, if the level of quality is not there, that “passion” reduces itself even further to ambivalence. At that point, I’m just watching more out of habit than anything else.

      Needless to the say, though things may have cooled down a bit, between me and TVD of late, the Delena makeout scene lit a little fire under the bum of our proverbial relationship . . . 😉

      You bring up an interesting point about the Delena scene in the bedroom. There was something a bit obvious and almost humorous about the way Elena was looking at Damon. At first, you see her doing that, and you think to yourself. “Oh please, honey. It’s not as though you haven’t seen him naked a few times already, and shirtless about 100 times before that. You’ve even slept with the guy before!”

      But I think the obviousness of the scene kind of makes sense, under the circumstances. Because there’s a small part of Elena that’s contemplating seducing Damon here. She’s watching him, and wondering if she has the guts to do it, while, at the same time, engaging in a high school student’s idea of seduction.

      After all, Elena’s really never had to seduce ANYONE before. Men are constantly throwing themselves at her feet. But here she is, having been told to “explore” her relationship with Damon. And she’s not quite sure how to start. So, she stares at him, in a way that she might see on TV shows, and in romance novels.

      Damon sees it, and knows exactly what she’s doing. He’s just not sure why, at first, or what her angle is. The slight smirk on his face, mixed in with confusion and a bit of arousal suggests as much.

      As for Damon not caring about Tyler, I always thought it was sort of implied that both of the Salvatore brothers wouldn’t think twice about killing Klaus, if it turned out that he hadn’t sired their bloodline, no matter who else ended up dying along the way. It’s probably one of things that bugged me most about this whole bloodline story. Not so much that I ever really thought Stefan or Damon gave two figs about Tyler, specifically. But their willingness to let their bloodlust, result in the murder at least 1/6 of the entire vampire population, without a thought as to who might be included in those numbers, seems more than a bit cold on our heroes’ part.

      As for Klefan, I don’t think that love affair will ever really end, not if Klaus has anything to do with it. I’m just waiting for Klaus to start drawing pony pictures of Stefan. Although, I suspect those little drawings would be a bit more X-rated, and not so subtly imply that the younger Salvatore brother was . . . wait for it . . . hung like a horse. 🙂

  10. Julie

    “I guess, when it comes down to it, I look to my television shows for entertainment, and escapism from the tedium of REAL life. I like snark, sex, blood, witty dialogue, and pretty people staring at me from my big screen. Is it shallow? Sure. But I’m a hardworking educated gal, and I think I’ve earned a little shallow in my life. I mean, if I wanted realism, and depth, I’d watch CNN all the time, or the Discovery Channel, or Masterpiece Theater. There’s enough seriousness in our day-to-day world, that at night, it’s nice to just have fun . . . at least, that’s how I feel.”
    You just summarized my personal opinion on tv/literture. Glad I’m not the only one 🙂

    “Caroline and Rebekah are apparently having a contest to see which of them can out “Regina George” the other.”
    “This means she and I have the incontrovertible bond of folks who share the same ship. And, therefore, I must love her like a sister.”
    “And for one brief minute, the world is a perfect SEXY place.”
    I gotta say Julie… those lines sure made me laugh… you keep me smiling all the way through the recaps.
    I agree with you, those Delena minutes were priceless, hope you feel better from the electric shock 😉 and as you said to Andre, I can easily forgive anything else just this one time. (Caroline and Tyler also helped).
    I’m glad Damon is growing a pair… hope we see more of Elena taking matters on her own hands (without using him, as it felt like she did…. I know she needs to figure things out, but come on…. she knows what she feels… she’s in denial. But then again, she doesn’t need to toy with him).
    Anyway.. nice come back from the hiatus, I was missing your recaps. 🙂

    • Hey Julie! Aww, so apparently, we not only share a name, we also share an outlook on television and literary viewing habits. You truly are my pop culture-loving, shipper sister! 🙂 I’m honored to hae made you smile a bit this week.

      I too was proud of Damon, and his “I’m not going to make things easy for you, this time,” speech. I think this shows real evolution in the character, from the guy we met in Season 1, who handed his heart to Katherine on a silver platter. Or the guy in early Season 2, whose dual rejection by Katherine and Elena in he season premiere, prompted him to “kill” Jeremy. Damon’s always been someone who’s willing to sacrifice himself on the altar of love, even if it means being abused or rejected. He’s also seemed oddly willing to be the scapegoat for Elena’s frustrations, because it’s always easier for him to “play the bad guy,” to his brother’s “hero.”

      I think Damon’s decision to take the hard line here, and not just throw himself at Elena’s feet, will prove very effective in forcing her to see what she really wants, and ultimately winning her heart. Now, Elena will have to make her decision between the brothers, on the merits, rather than on this black-and-white storybook idea she’s painted in her head of Good Brother versus Bad Brother.

      As for Elena, there was something a bit Katherine-esque about her admission to have “used” Damon to explore her desires, secretly hoping he would screw it up somehow, and take himself out of the running. But, as you said, I think that was more of a justification on Elena’s part than anything else. Deep down, Elena knows she loves Damon. She’s just scared to admit that fact, because of what she fears it might say about her. (Of course, what I think it say about her is that she has good taste. But that’s just me . . .)

  11. Hey! I got so much to catch up on! I been keeping up to date with your re-cappers (in advanced while waiting to find the USA version in the UK – Once in a while it sucks being British..) while I been wedding planning, less than 7 weeks till my big day, and 2 weeks till I fly out for the big day!
    So as you can imagine, things are so hectic..
    Therefore while I am currently watching this episode I thought I would totally type what was on my mind..!

    Firstly…. Ahhhhh we nearly got Delena sex! Amazing… Stefan totally needs to man up again… and get his “girl” back… not be letting his brother taking her around town. I think Elena should go the whole way.. just for us Delena fans! 😀
    Katrina needs to be making a showing for this love triangle to be getting any better.

    A mini firstly… Im totally agreeing with your views on Rose! Finally a Delena! MMM

    Secondly…. I actually do loved the way Stefan “tapped” into his darkest side just to defeat Alaric’s darkest side. Its somewhat amazing… and I do hope we get to see more of it…

    And most finally a minor theory….. me thinks thee Salvatores’ were definitely NOT turned by Klaus… to keep our werewolves (*Tyler* cough cough MMMMMM) I think the VAMPIREs would be the only one dying, not the werewolves.or something different would happen to them.. lets see what happens in the future..

    • Hey hypakitty! Congratulations on your impending nuptials! That is soooo exciting! And an international wedding, no less! Very romantic!

      Like you, this episode definitely got my hopes up for Delena sex in the season finale. Though from the looks of things, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be in the cards. (There’s always next season’s premiere, though. ;))

      And I’m glad to see that someone else feels the way I do about Rose. I was always so incredibly tough on the character, and the fact that I did a complete 180 on my feelings toward her, after this episode, made me feel a tad hypocritical. The fact that I’m not alone in this makes me feel much better about myself as human. So, thank you. 🙂

      Good point about Stefan needing to embrace his darkest self, in order to save (or at least try to) the rest of the Scooby Gang from Psycho Ric. I always felt like the whole “Ripper Stefan” storyline we started to see at the beginning of Season 3 (not the “I’m compelled to be bad,” Stefan, or the “I’m just pretending to be bad” Stefan, but the honest-to-goodness Bloodaholic Stefan) was a great storyline opportunity that the writers never really took full advantage . . . possibly because they were afraid of making Stefan seem to unlikeable in the eyes of his fans. It was nice to see that aspect of his character addressed in this episode, even if only for a short while.

      I also like your theory about who started the Salvatore Brothers’ bloodline. I’m still on Team Elijah, in that regard. 🙂

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