A Case of the Munchies – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “The Five”

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Are your tummies growling, Fangbangers?  There was a whole lot of “messy eating” going on this week, on The Vampire Diaries. Vampires ate college coeds . . . vampire hunters ate hybrids” ears . . . The Original Family ate . . . chicken and vegetables?

I don’t know about you.  But I’ve personally been starving for some serious fang action, all week!

So, tie on a nice big bib, and polish that silverware, because it’s time to share a hearty meal with your favorite vampires in Mystic Falls . . .

Today’s Episode is brought to you by the letter “H” (for Hot Sweaty Shirtless Men) and, of course, the number “five”

I’m willing to bet that a lot more moms would watch Sesame Street with their kids, if the show taught tots how to count, this way.  Kudos, Julie Plec and Co.  This scene is Male Objectification in its purest form.  And it is, in a word, AWESOME!

The episode begins, way back in 1110 A.D.  Some old witchy lady with Crazy Witchy Lady Hair is hanging out in the BadThingsAlwaysHappenHere! Forest with what appear to be five strippers from some Game of Thrones-themed Male Review.

Is that a Storm of Swords in your pocket, or are you just happy to be on TVD?

The half naked men form a circle around her, and stare blankly into space, while she holds a fiery cauldron triumphantly above her head, like it’s Baby Simba at the beginning of the Lion King.  She’s even chanting gibberish, like they do at the beginning of that movie!

“NAAAAAAH SVENYAHHHH MAMAGICHI WAWAHHHHHHH!”

Then, Witchy Lady lowers the cauldron and the fire branches out to the five men, who, from VERY far away (1) look like they are EXTREMELY hung; and (2) appear to be pissing out flames.  I bet they can’t do that on Game of Thrones!

This gives a whole new meaning to the term “fire crotch.”

But the fun is far from over!  Next up, everyone gets their Magical Tattoos!

“Duuuuude!  That hurt even less than that time on my 18th birthday, when I drank an entire bottle of tequila, and woke up with my ex-girlfriend’s name tattooed on my Fire Crotch!”

Meanwhile, back in the present day . . .

Deny, Deny, Deny . . .

 De-Nile may very well be a river in Egypt, but it’s also got a pretty steady current running through Mystic Falls.  We see plenty of denial going on around town, during the first few minutes of the episode.  Damon still actually thinks Connor is dead . . .

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This is despite the reality of Damon never actually having seen the vampire hunter’s corpse.  Not to mention the well-known fact that the gods of Mystic Falls would never, EVER, allow a hot male villain, like Connor, to croak, without getting him to take his shirt off at least once.

Also in denial?  Stefan.  He thinks he’s “totally over” Damon’s and Elena’s little hand-suck blood exchange, a couple weeks back.

Yeah, this guy?  He’s not jealous of his brother at all!  No sir!  Not a bit!

Speaking of denial . . . sure Elena, Stefan has nothing to worry about.  Just because you are going to an all-night frat party with Damon, doesn’t mean that you are going to spend the entire night dry humping him on the dance floor, and/or sucking on his fingers.  You’re DEFINITELY going to be 100% faithful to Stefan . . . He’s your “boo,” after all, isn’t he?

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Oh, and might I add, that “convenient” explanation as to why Elena could ONLY learn how to feed from that sexy studmuffin / awesome kisser Damon, and not from Caroline, because she’s “too good” at controlling her vampire urges?

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That’s a TOTAL crock of dog poo!  Need we all be reminded of an incident, back in Season 2, that I like to lovingly refer to as “Carter-gate?”

So much self control!  She even managed to brush her hair out of her eyes, before snapping his neck with her teeth.  Honestly, I don’t know how she does it!

Still more stops on the Denial Train.  Next we have Beks, who is stalking Matt Donovan at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls.  She mistakenly believes she can still get into his pants, despite the whole, “sending his car over the Wickory Bridge” thing.

I think it drowned, Matt  . . . along with your dignity.

Desperate for redemption (and nookie), Rebekah even goes so far as to buy Matt . . . wait for it . . . A BRAND NEW CAR!

OMG!  Rebekah Michaelson is like Richard Gere, and Matt Donovan is her Pretty Woman . . .   Except, money can’t buy Matt’s love!  He’s keeping the car, but he still won’t kiss Rebekah on the mouth . . . too personal.

Heck, I’d kiss Rebekah on the mouth for a new car.  And I don’t even roll that way.  Go figure . . .

Don’t you just hate it when your family members are around to see you strike out with the opposite sex?  Poor Rebekah!  Klaus is sitting at the bar, ready and waiting with a “He’s just not that into you,” speech.

“You had to start with a car?  You couldn’t have gone with something less expensive?  Like a lottery ticket?  Or a lollipop?

Klaus knows that Rebekah is still pissed at him for, you know, not appreciating her, and stuff.  But he still has information for her about “The Five.”  Rebekah pretends she doesn’t care.  But we all know she TOTALLY does . . .

“What can I say?  I wear my heart on my sleeve . . . no, I mean literally on my sleeve, like a big fat bloody cufflink.

Hot for Teacher, Not for Frat Boy

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Did you know that, before she was “That Old Lady Who Died Twice on The Vampire Diaries,” Bonnie’s grams was a college professor, who specialized in the occult?

Well, now you do!

What a convenient way to get Bonnie, Elena and Damon to road trip to “college,” while, at the same time, introducing a new fairly attractive, Alaric Saltzman 2.0 type, who may or may not end up being a villain and/or a witchy new love interest for Bonnie . . .  Anywhoo, he lectures about witches, and blah, blah, blah . . .

 Meanwhile Damon instructs Elena on the best, and worst types of people to feed off of . . .

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I assumed Damon would advocate eating fat people (MORE MEATY!).  But, instead, he instructed Elena to suck on airheads and the self-absorbed. (LESS CALORIES?)

(Fun Fact: Nerdy girls are bad meals, because, apparently, they are instinctively mistrustful of people who are nice to them.  So, at this point, I’d like to say, to all my fellow nerd girls out there, HOLLA!)

While Bonnie wanders off to have some more boring conversation with Professor Boo Radley, or whatever, Damon coaches Elena through her first feed.

Things start off well enough.  But then Self-Absorbed!Girl inadvertently shows Elena a picture of her baby sister, and Elena FREAKS OUT!  (Honestly, I think the emotional impact of the failed “tasting,” would have been more effective, if the little girl was Miss Would-Be Blood Bag’s daughter.  Now, that would have been poignant.  But baby sister?  Meh!)

No worries!  Damon’s got a better idea!  He decides to take Elena to a frat party.  You know, because everyone who goes to frat parties MUST, by definition, be a terrible person, worthy of bloody neck hickies.  Also, no one who goes to frat parties has a baby sister . . .

Once again, out of convenience, the frat party in question, has a death theme.  (You’ll learn why that’s convenient in a bit.)  Also, out of convenience, Hot Professor Boo Radley just so happens to be attending the party.  Because, lord knows, underage kids throwing kegger parties just LOOOVE to invite late 30-something looking teacher types to witness their debauchery and misdemeanors . . .

“I thought she was 18 . .  . I mean . . . I thought she was 21 . . . I mean . . . Someone put something in my drink?”

In what I can only assume was an “inside joke,” Damon arrives at the party dressed as Jack the Ripper, with Elena and Bonnie traveling in tow, as his “victims.”  (Take THAT, Ripper Stefan!)

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Elena finds a  frat boy, who, by roofie-ing a girl’s drink in plain view, renders himself just douchebaggy enough that Elena can feed off of him, without offending her “personal moral code.”  (Also, we can all assume he’s an only child.  Or, if not, an only child, at least doesn’t carry around a cute picture of his sibling on his cell phone.)

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Elena munches heartily, and immediately becomes swept up in the euphoria of Vampire’s First Feeding Frenzy.  “I want more,” she whispers seductively in Damon’s ear . . .

So, does he, Elena . . . So does he . . .

Eventually, Elena’s whole Dexter the Vampire rationale of “I only eat BAAADDDD PEOPLE,” goes right out the window.  We see her later chomping on an innocent looking chica, who most definitely had an iPhone filled with adorable siblings.  No matter!  Elena was having much to much fun, to concern herself with petty details like morality.

And we all know what Elena does, whenever she’s having fun, right?  You guessed it!  It’s DelenaDANCESEX time!

I know a lot of people had mixed opinions about this scene.  But I, for one, absolutely adored it.  I loved how messy it was . . . how Damon and Elena were more drunkenly swaying than actually dancing.  I loved how sweaty they were, how mussed both of their hair was, how their eyes looked bleary, glassy, and heavy lidded.

I even loved the ridiculousness of the fact that neither of them thought to wipe off the nasty-ass blood dripping from their mouths onto their shirts, despite the fact that, no matter how drunk people were at this party, surely SOMEONE would have noticed that.

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Believe it or not, I think the sloppiness of the scene gave it an added sense of realism.  If submitting to blood lust is a metaphor for being really drunk, or really high on drugs like ecstasy or heroine, it makes sense that the blood lusters would look and act like inebriated people.  People who were truly living in the moment . . . not thinking, just feeling, and enjoying life . . . not caring what other onlookers might think of them.

Then, of course Cock Block Extraordinaire Bonnie has to pop by, in order to give Elena THAT LOOK . . . You know the one.  It’s that all-too-familiar Judgy Bonnie look . . . the one that never fails to bring Elena right back to her boring self . . . which, of course, is Bonnie’s most impressive Super Power . . . MESMERIZING DULLNESS . . .

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Judge not, lest Bonnie ALWAYS judges . . .

Elena scampers off in tears.  She wants to go home, dammit!  Damon, understandably, is a bit “miffed” by it all . . .

Try not to take it too personally, Damon.  I think Elena’s just feeling guilty about chowing down on too many douchebag blood carbs.  Now, she’ll NEVER be able to fit into that Miss Mystic Falls Gown!

Back home, and hanging out on Elena’s front porch, Elena and Damon engage in another version of what is basically the exact same conversation they have with one another every few episodes.  And it basically boils down to this:  Damon is a BAD BOY.  Elena wants to be a GOOD GIRL.  She’s afraid that if she keeps hanging out with Damon, she will have wild, crazy, amazing vampire sex with him, and never ever want to stop . . . also become a BAD GIRL.  So, she has to stay with Stefan, because he’s . . . you know . . . “good” and stuff at least, when he’s not murdering thousands of people across the Eastern Seaboard.

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Stefan pops up on the porch, before things between Damon and Elena can get more heated (Geez, he and Bonnie make a great pair. TEAM COCKBLOCK!)  Cue Elena b*tching and whining about how AWFUL it was drinking that SCARY blood from those SCARY college coeds’ necks.  Oh, how she wishes she could have been home eating bunnies with Stefan . . . or knitting socks, or whatever it is “good” vampires are supposed to do on Friday nights . . .

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Little does she know that Stefan has spent his day plotting and scheming with the baddest vampire around . . . his Secret Boyfriend Klaus . . .

50 Shades of Connor Jordan

My that Klaus!  He really is a kinky bastard, isn’t he?  I mean, I totally get why he needed to chain up the Big Bad Vampire Hunter, who is undoubtedly the key to his Next Big Plan!  But putting him up against the wall, spread-eagled, half-naked, and, probably under a heat lamp (because no one sweats that much inside an air-conditioned home in the middle of Fall)?  Come on, that was obviously an exhibition of Klaus’ S&M fantasies come true.  (Watch out Caroline . . . and Stefan.  Because you are both soooo next!

Speaking of kinky, another one of my favorite scenes this week was the one where one of Klaus’ nameless soon-to-be-dead hybrids comes to “tighten up” Connor’s S&M chains, and the vampire hunter ends up BITING OFF A RATHER LARGE CHUNK OF HIS EAR!

Seriously!  I was not expecting that!

Cooler still?  Connor actually had a logical reason for doing this, one that much more complex than a simple “I was hungry,” or “Hybrid ears taste like chicken.”

Nope . . . Connor bit Random Hybrid’s ear to STEAL HIS EARRING, AND USE IT TO UNLOCK HIS CHAINS!  POSITIVELY GENIUS!

Smoke em if you’ve got em SUCKAS!

[Random sidenote:  When I was a little kid, I used to drink a lot of Shirley Temples at parties.  And if you’ve ever had a Shirley Temple, you know they come with a cherry garnish.  Anyway, rumor has it that if you can  tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue alone, that means you are a good kisser, and . . . if not . . . well . . .

Unfortunately, it’s something I’ve never been able to manage.  Take from that what you will.  All I can say is, given how tongue and teeth challenged I apparently am, I can 100% appreciate Connor Jordan’s ORAL PROWESS.  It also makes me really want to make out with him . . . like . . . a lot.]

“And I’m too sexy for your ear .  . . too sexy for your ear, too sexy, my dear!”

We’ll get back to Connor, and his teeth, in just a moment.  But for now, let’s get back to Kinky Klaus and Studly Stefan, shall we?

It’s Time for Another Round of Ye Old Important Flashbacks . . .

Ever since Stefan showed up on his doorstep, sniffing around for information about The Five, Klaus has been hitting on him, in a major way.  He’s definitely putting out all the stops . . . inviting him into his home, flattering him, invading his personal space, batting his puppy dog eyes.  As I’ve been genuinely missing these two’s weekly game of Hide the Salami for quite some time (Ahhh . . . memories of Early Season 3), it was nice to see it again this week.

Klaus’ rationale for hitting on Stefan (aside from the obvious, of course) is that he wants Stefan to convince Rebekah to tell them  both what she knows about The Five.  Through the use of flashbacks (and lots of goofy lion’s mane wigs), we learn that Rebekah used to occasionally hump one of these mystical FIVE, back in the day.  And that he, may or may not, have pillow-talked all his dirty secrets to the Original Vamp.

“I’ll show you my fangs, if you show me your fire crotch.”

Stefan is initially immune to Klaus’ charms,  until Klaus evokes the magical spell that never fails to make Stefan puddy in his hands.  Just in case you ever happen to run into Stefan, and want him to become your sex slave, I’d be more than happy to share the words of this spell with you.  Here it is: “DO IT FOR ELENA.”

Yes, once again, Klaus has made Stefan his loyal puppy dog, by evoking the Elena Clause in their Occasional F*ck Buddy Contract.  Stefan pops by the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, where Rebekah apparently still hasn’t moved, since being rejected by Matt there hours ago.  Maybe she’s under the “DO IT FOR ELENA” spell too . . .  Stefan somehow convinces Rebekah to temporarily play nice with her brother.  And eventually the three end up making plans for dinner.

(By the way, remember when Rebekah and Stefan used to be in loooooove with one another?  Because, sometimes, I feel like the writers don’t remember it at all . . .)

The Scene that Will Inevitably Spawn 1,000 Jeremy/Connor Slash Fanfics

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Meanwhile, back at the Hybrid House of Horrors, Klaus, remembering that a couple of weeks ago, Jeremy went from being “Elena’s Little Brother – That Kid Who Sees Dead People” to “Elena’s Little Brother – That Kid Who Sees Dead Ancient Invisible Ink Tattoos,” kidnaps  invites Mini Gilbert over for an impromptu art session, whereby Jeremy will draw the tatts from Connor’s Hot Glistening Body.  (Mental Note:  Time to sign up for one of those art classes, where you sit for an hour each week, and draw naked people.  It’s suddenly sounding like a great idea!)

“Just let your Inner Goddess fly free!”

Connor is a little pouty with Jeremy.  Because he thought the two of them were TATT BROTHERS, and now, here Jeremy is “drawing for the Enemy.”  To this valid accusation, Jeremy responds, more or less . . . wait for it . . . “I’M DOING IT FOR ELENA.”

“Oh, well, if you are DOING IT FOR ELENA, than I forgive you,” replies Connor.  (Just kidding . . . sort of.)

Connor explains to Jeremy that his ability to see the tattoo marks him as a “potential” SUPER Vampire Hunter (which sounds very Buffy the Vampire Slayer-y to me).  He also explains how his tattoos grow each time he murders another vampire.  Well, that sure is cost-efficient.  Tattoos can be expensive!

What we eventually learn is that, as bad ass a vampire hunter as Connor might be, he’s apparently not bad ass enough to have a complete Vampire-Killing Arm Tattoo.  Klaus examines Jeremy’s drawing and finds it to be woefully incomplete . . . FOR NOW . . .

Ye Olde Flashbacks 2: Electric Boogaloo

A little while later, Klaus, Stefan and Rebekah sit down for one of their deliciously dysfunctional family dinners.  I always love it when Klaus caters a meal on this show.  He always puts about ten fancy courses of food on the table, and then NOBODY EVER EATS!

That’s got to really dust his doilies, don’t you think?  Maybe he should start spiking the dishes with Soccer Mom blood.  Then, at least, he wouldn’t have so many leftovers . . .

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Fake dinner seems like a great opportunity for another flashback.  And, so, we get one, in short order.  Just as Klaus suspected, Rebekah’s lover, Vampire Hunter Alex was quite the Chatty Kathy during sex.

“Check it out.  This sword and these tattoos together form a road map to my weiner . . . you know, just in case you can’t find it on your own.”

In a state of presumed post-coital bliss, Alex reveals, both to Rebekah, and to us, that the Five have a weapon that will surely wipe all vampires off the face of the Earth . . .A CURE TO VAMPIRISM . . .

Yeah, yeah . . . I think we all pretty much knew that was coming . . .

What does surprise me about this plot point, though, is how long this supposed vampire cure has purportedly been around.  You would think, for example, that Witchy Mama Esther or even Evil Vampire Eater Mikael would have heard about it, and at least tried to find it, before resorting to attempting to murder their own children . . . Just a thought . . .

Poor Rebekah!  She’s starting to rival Elijah and Alaric as Most Murdered Character on TVD!  Not long after Alex spills the beans to her about the Vampire Cure, he stabs her with a white oak stake, along with the rest of her siblings.  Rat BASTARD!

“Dear sister, I thought your room could use a bit of sprucing up.  How do you like your new wall decor?

Fortunately for us, Klaus is immune to White Oak Stakedom, and takes this opportunity to murder Alex and one of his FIVE-Y friends, conveniently leaving the other three alive to spawn Connor Jordan, Mini Gilbert, and whatever other sexy male guest stars TVD chooses to introduce in the near future.

Vampire Hunter Nick Miller, anyone?

But wait a minute.  If Klaus already knew all this crud about The Five, why is he bothering Poor Rebekah with bad memories of yet another lover her used her and discarded her like trash?

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A-ha!  See, this is where things get sort of interesting.  Apparently, those crazy tattoos Connor has on his body are a map to the Vampire Cure.  And the key to reading that map is on the sword of each of the Original Five.  Klaus (rightfully) as it turns out, assumes that Rebekah knows where that sword is.  Once found, that sword, combined with Jeremy’s drawing, will enable Klaus to locate the cure, give it to Elena, and then continue to use her as a bloodbag for the creation of new hybrids.

Nifty plan, right?  Except, Rebekah’s not budging with the information, no matter how many threats or insults Klaus hurls her way . . .

Hey Klaus, haven’t you ever heard the saying you catch more vampire siblings with honey?  Wait . . . that’s not how it goes.

Rebekah storms off in huff, but Klaus seems unmoved.  As it turns out, this was precisely his plan.  You see, Klaus wanted to put Rebekah in an emotional enough state to reveal the location of the secret sword to STEFAN.  And why again would Stefan want to help Klaus?  Repeat after me, everyone, “HE’S DOING IT FOR ELENA.”

That’s right.  Because if Elena can be made human again, she can revert back to the sweet docile kittenish girl Stefan always loved, cherished and worshipped, as opposed to the naughty keg standing, motorcycle riding, doucheboy drinking, Damon sucking soon-to-be Damon screwing, pencil flinging vampire girl she has become . . .

This recap has become long enough as it is, so I’m not going to bore you with the details.  Long story short, Stefan cleverly manipulates the vulnerable Rebekah’s romantic side into revealing that she buried Alex’s sword, along with his corpse, in the church where the couple was to be married . . . you know, before he stabbed her in the chest, and her brother cut out his heart . . . otherwise known as The Good Old Days.

Klaus is conveniently around to hear this information, and, for reasons I don’t quite understand, decides to stake Rebekah again, upon receiving it.

“Trust me, this hurts me way more than it is hurting you.”

“Somehow, I doubt that . . .

Seriously, dude?  AGAIN!  Klaus, you have to find better ways to express your emotions than staking your siblings every time they piss you off.  You’re becoming like that kid in the Twilight Zone movies, who keeps sending everyone in his family to the Evil Cornfield every time they don’t give him candy, or enforce his bedtime.  It’s time to get another outlet for your anger.  Might I suggest the batting cages, or S&M sessions with Connor and Jeremy . . .

Speaking of people you secretly want to have sex with, Klaus.  Could you explain to me why you felt the need to keep this whole “sword / tattoo” map thing a BIG Secret between you and Stefan?  Is it because you think it will make it easier to get into his pants, while you two are spending hours alone scheming with one another behind closed bedroom doors?  Don’t you think Damon the Scooby Gang could you help you find it faster, than just the two of you working alone?

Just saying . . .

So many headless hybrids, so little time . . .

And so our Big Bad Sexy Shirtless Scoundrel Connor uses that trusty earring to break free from Klaus’ Den of Rough Sex, just as we knew he would.  But geez, did he HAVE to decapitate ANOTHER one of Klaus’ precious hybrids.  You would think these guys are human PEZ Dispensers, given how easily their heads pop off at the slightest touch . . .

Connor Jordan . . . gives good head.

Connor’s action, of course, has the added benefit of conveniently finishing off his Vampire Hunter tattoo.  I wonder how many bloodsuckers he had to do in, to earn all those stripes . . . I wonder if you get more “points” for killing hybrids . . . so many questions. . . .

In the final scene, we see a pissed off Connor whining to his leader.  “Why did you send me to this PLACE, where all anybody ever does is have flashbacks, and sit around and talk about how they are ‘DOING IT FOR ELENA?”

WAH, WAH, WAH . . . cry me a bloody river, Connor.  But in all honesty, I’d be interested in knowing the answer to this question too.  What say you, Connor’s Exalted Leader. .  . Professor Boo Radley?

Next week, on The Vampire Diaries . . .

See you then, Fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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17 responses to “A Case of the Munchies – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “The Five”

  1. Veronica

    Hi! I haven’t commented since last season but I have been watching and reading your recaps every week! I have to say that I was cracking up over this one. Hilarious!
    “Then, Witchy Lady lowers the cauldron and the fire branches out to the five men, who, from VERY far away (1) look like they are EXTREMELY hung; and (2) appear to be pissing out flames. I bet they can’t do that on Game of Thrones!”
    This had me doubled over with laughter. And the picture of Stefan’s “oh my F” face when you said him and Caroline are going to be next in Klaus’ S&M games. Priceless. Klaus really needs to get some soon!
    I liked the episode but I was a little disappointed because of the fact that it was hyped to be a major Delena episode and all we got was “Damon is the bad guy” and Elena is all woe-is-me once again. But I did enjoy their dancing and his teaching Elena how to feed. During that dance, it focused on Damon’s neck for a few seconds and I thought for sure Elena was going to take a bite out of him but captain judgy had to arrive with her stern-faced stare.
    I agree with you as well that Damon dressing up as Jack the Ripper had to be an inside joke. (Also hilarious how he parked his car right in the middle of the campus)
    What did you think of this supposed cure for vampirism? Personally, I hope it turns out to be another Aztec curse deal. I hate even the possibility of Damon turning human so I hope the writers don’t go in that direction. I can see it playing out that the Scoobie gang will find out something startling about this “cure” right before it is taken by one of our members that will stop them from doing so. Maybe it will turn the vampire into the age they are supposed to be as a human and everyone except Caroline, Tyler, and Elena would just turn to dust as they are pretty much artifacts.
    I hope Stefan keeping it a secret will end up burning him in the end. Seriously, he must realise Klaus will use her as a human blood bag again and that is obvioulsy much more fun than being a vampire in which you get to live forever, be eternally beautiful, have hot vamp sex, eat whatever you want without getting fat, etc etc.
    Great recap as per usual. Looking forward to next week.

    • Veronica

      Also, Damon can tie a knot in a cherry stem with his tongue 😉 . We saw him do it at the bar back in season one when Matt’s mom was all over him.

    • Hey Veronica! I know I’m about a week late here. But I wanted to thank you so much for commenting. 🙂 The promo department definitely did tease us a bit, by touting this as “The Delena episode” and then not delivering. Hopefully, “My Brother’s Keeper” will be the actual Delena episode. Otherwise, I’m going to dub the promo department: “The Boy Who Cried Delena.”

      I think you are right, that the only way a vampire cure would be interesting would be if someone takes it (or is force fed it) that isn’t Elena. Turning Elena back into a human, by the end of the season would be a real cop out, on the writers part, in my opinion. They made the plot decision. To back away from it now would be disingenuous, as it would effectively make Season 4 null and void, in terms of advancing the overall plot of the story.

      Now, having someone like Damon, Beks, or Klaus as a human would be a bit more interesting. How would their knowledge amassed over the past hundred or so years change them as humans from the humans they used to be? Now, in this situation, I think a cure could be temporary
      without impacting the whole story. Assuming the vampire curse didn’t cause the newly un-turned to automatically age, like you suggested (which would be hilarious, by the way), I would imagine anyone who really didn’t want to be human could simply go to any of the hundreds vamps in Mystic Falls and get turned again. 🙂

  2. East Coast Captain

    You were right about the cure Jewls, while it was selfish of Stefan wanting the cure for him and Elena I can understand wanting a normal life but in Mystic Falls things like that are far out of reach and impossible. But it was nice seeing Klaus and his BFF Stefan together again. I think this cure will not be as it seems I think only one vampire will be cured more likely Damon possibly. But really Stefan keeping this secret is too create more drama between the brothers and the scooby gang. But to be fair Klaus did ask him to keep quiet over this.

    I agree with Bonnie to a great extent while Damon has a point with properly feeding but she can´t be allowed to lose her humanity its her defining trait, she is not Damon, she should find her own balance not listen to either Stefan or Damon who have good points but bad points too.

    I think either ELena or Damon will kill this Shane dude, he´s not long for this world.

    I felt bad for Rebekah she just wants to be loved and wasn´t Matt supposed to get laid last season?

    • You are right, East Coast Captain! Matt WAS supposed to get laid last season. Silly writers. Well, Rebekah is kind of out of commission now. But if Matt is going to get laid this season, I’d much prefer it be by Klaus Barbie over April Young, because zzzzzzzzz. 😉

      By the way, how psyched are you about Katherine’s return? I’m pretty sure she’s going to end up being Elena’s hallucination. But still, it will be nice to see her again. Elena needs some vampire guidance from her doppelganger, now more than ever.

      I hope Shane croaks soon. He bugs me. I actually think they got rid of Connor too early. He had a lot of potential, both as a villain and a weird little role model for Jeremy. But his backstory, for all its hype, ended up being kind of lame, and I don’t think the writers went as far as they could with the character. Shane, on the other hand, strikes me as more sleazy than genuinely interesting.

  3. I am still guffawing over here! The title was SO appropo! The way you described the whole opening was priceless–Five strippers from the Game of Thrones Male review pissing out fire? I personally think the most important part of Bex Hemi-gift was that it was ALREADY INSURED! lol NearlyHeadless Hybrid Nate and the Pez dispensers? Wish I woulda thought of that one! I SO expected to see a little Katniss action at the end of the porch scene, as Damon dejectedly turned his princess back over to the frog. I literally screamed at my TV, “I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!” i just LURV your recaps! Thanks for another in the kjewls Recap of Fame!

    • LOL mak75231.Haha. Yes, I would volunteer as tribute for The Hunger Damon, any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. Elena Gilbert just doesn’t know what she’s missing yet . . . but she will 😉

  4. Professor Boo Radley? Lmao. Brilliant recap of course. I’m rooting for Rebekah to get back with Matt when she wakes up. If Elena feels so bad about preying on people, maybe she should go towards the Dexter route, because as far as she knows it’s inevitable. Unless she wants to kill herself, which in the real world I would find understandable considering she is basically predestined to commit murder.

    Damon made a great case about enjoying himself and embracing his dark side enough to save people even as he feeds on them, if he so chooses. I think Elena and Damon’s blood everywhere party tactics went unnoticed because 1) people thought ooh cool they have real good blood makeup, 2) it was too dark to see much, 3) everyone else was drunk.

    I also find it interesting that Elena is worried about being a ripper. Damon calmly, without much evidence, reassures her that she isn’t. Now THAT is the type of vampire Elena really doesn’t want to be, though she probably would prefer to be the Caroline brand—neither ripper nor cavalier Damon. I thought Stefan was a little melodramatic about saying they’d lose Elena forever if she turned off her feelings. Wasn’t she doing that a little bit at the party, and she just snapped out of it? Poor Stefan. He’s confused and guilty.

    “Little does she know that Stefan has spent his day plotting and scheming with the baddest vampire around . . . his Secret Boyfriend Klaus . . .” YESSSSS. We’ll see what happens, but Elena could reconsider Stefan’s goodness when she finds out, even if it is all for her. I don’t think she’ll be completely disillusioned (he’s going after what she told him she can’t live without, her humanity), but she might realize he and Damon are more complicated than they seem. And by the time he does get the cure, will she have seen the helpful side of being a vampire? Vampires have strength and agility that can be used for good, after all.

    LOL I haven’t ever actually tried to tie a cherry stem knot with my tongue. I’m worried it would end in tears. So glad Connor is still badass to the point of cutting off a hybrid’s head with a chain WHAT? How can he be stronger than a hybrid, even if he caught him off guard? Last season I wondered if there would be a scene in which a powerful hunter (like Mikael) pulled off a vampire’s head to show how tough they were. “Yes, once again, Klaus has made Stefan his loyal puppy dog, by evoking the Elena Clause in their Occasional F*ck Buddy Contract.” XD

    • Hey Noelle. I would have thought the Dexter Method of Murder would have worked for Elena too. But, after seeing Killer, I’m thinking not-so-much. It’s understandable given who Elena is, but still interesting, that Elena characterized her murder of Connor as “losing control,” when, really, it could have almost been seen as a murder in self-defense, definitely a murder in defense of the people she loved, and a murder that was on a much more moral high ground certainly than, say, Caroline’s first murder . . .

      Now, that was a true example of losing control. It was a crime of hunger, whereas Elena’s murder of Connor was, at least, partially, premeditated. I do wonder if we will ever get to see Elena with her emotions turned off. (Her rendezvous with Damon seemed more like a case of her turning off her inhibitions, than her emotions.) It would be interesting to see how an Evil Elena would differ from say an Evil Katherine.

      There are also, to some extent, degrees of lack of emotion. For example, Ripper Stefan, back in the day, was a maniac, who got joy out of the harm he caused, whereas the Stefan who Klaus compelled to turn off his emotions was a bit more stiff and unfeeling, not really taking joy in anything at all. I wonder which category an “emotionless” Elena would fall under?

  5. andrea

    Hey, I was just wondering if you had decided to quit doing boadwalk empire all together? I just didn’t want to be checking and bugging you if you had. Thanks.

    • Hi Andrea. Aw, your e-mail made me feel super guilty. I’m sorry!

      I’m actually super behind on Boardwalk, because I don’t have DVR, and I watch (believe it or not) three other hour-long shows on Sunday nights. (The entire ABC lineup.)

      I do plan on catching up, and even doing a seasonal retrospective sort of thing. But I can understand your not wanting to keep checking back, and being disappointed.

      What I can do for you, is reply to you here, personally, when I do a Boardwalk Recap.

      Again, I’m super sorry. I know I suck. 🙂

  6. Serendipity

    Hey Jules! Amazing recap as usual 🙂

    I couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed by the whole delena party crashing thing. I did like the way you looked at it, but I just didn’t think it was all that it could have been. It seems I wasn’t the only one thinking that the very long shot of Damon throwing his head back and exposing his throat, meant that Elena would actually go for it and bite him. I’d have been okay with that (as I’m sure Damon would have). But no. Instead Bonnie comes in, and suddenly Elena’s feeling all guilty. It’s as if Bonnie’s acting as Elena’s human conscience, telling her not to indulge because she might actually like it. And then Elena goes all ‘I should be doing this with Stefan’? Why? Because he would keep her grounded in misery and guilt? Or maybe because she was tempted to do ‘bad things’ with Damon and actually enjoy herself (perhaps a little too much)? Stefan knows that he can’t cope with Elena enjoying herself. Ripper, anybody? The little powwow with Caroline last week makes me think we’ll be getting us some ripper-ish Stefan soon… Maybe when Elena starts insisting that he teach her all a vampire can be?

    Speaking of ripper Stefan… Wasn’t it sometime during those past three seasons that Stefan condemned Damon for compelling people left, right and centre? I must have gotten that wrong then, because now he offhandedly compels April to just forget about the entire conversation he’s about to have with Bex. Callous much?

    And honestly, why would it be a good thing to return Elena to her vulnerable human bloodbag state? Because Klaus isn’t even coy about why he saved Elena, nor why he’s after the famous Cure now. And Stefan keeping it a secret? You just know that’s going to backfire. I just hope it won’t backfire in Damon’s face. Because let’s face it: book-Damon wasn’t all that happy with his newfound humanity, but we are supposed to believe this Damon would be… Remember Damon’s lost-humanity lament after Rose died? Wonder where they’ll go with this…

    That said, there were some funny things too. Your reference to Game of Thrones was hilarious. I hadn’t even noticed, but you were so right! The whole swearing in of the five was kind of a redundant flash back IMO. They could have explained quite well without that. They probably just needed some gratuitous nakedness… And that witch did look suspiciously like Ayanna! Maybe it was another way of balancing nature, by making sure that the vampire population would be kept in check?

    And somebody already remarked about what I’d already noticed in the preview clip. Is there a ‘vampires can park anywhere’ policy on campus? Because there were NO cars at all where Damon decided to park. Talk about realistic LOL

    Well, it sure seems Damon and Elena are not in a very good place right now… I just hope I’m wrong, and it’s only Elena frantically fighting her feelings and hanging on to Stefan because he’s safe…. Oh, well.

    • Hey Serendipity! It’s funny, after The Rager, I was frustrated by the lack of progress the Delena relationship was making, just like you were. But after The Killer, I’m thinking that, perhaps, Elena’s rejection of Damon in this episode was a necessary step toward them coming closer together in “My Brother’s Keeper.”

      At the beginning of The Killer, Elena tried to reject Damon’s vampire ways, and stayed “loyal” to her boyfriend Stefan. She did this despite the fact that she was starting to have doubts that he was being honest with her, and that she truly believed that Damon’s more murderous methods were more of what was needed to save her brother, Matt and April.

      By the middle of the episode, she accepts the fact Stefan has lied to her, and travels more toward Damon’s way of thinking. She admits to Damon that she can be just as murderous as her enemies, when it comes to protecting her enemies, a trait to which Damon can relate to well. And then she commits the murder. And, though, it tears her up inside that she let herself get to this point, I think it caused her to accept on some level that she is no “better” of a vampire than Damon is.

      I think this is going to force her to get off her high horse, when it comes to Damon’s world views, and finally stop judging him as much as she does. I also think that Stefan’s distaste of Elena’s newfound vampire ways is going to become more obvious to Elena. It’s going to hurt her, and drive her more quickly into Damon’s arms. 🙂

      That’s just my prediction . . .

  7. Andre

    Hi Julie, I am a bit faster this time, because I am done with that insanely long E-Mail I send to Australia.
    By the way, I am still waiting for your response on my comment from the last recap 😉

    Also:
    What is so interesting about Delena?
    Please no answers ala it is sexy or dynamic and the like. An actual explanation.

    Now, I agree with you that this forest scene does look like a bunch of strippers. I mean their upper bodies are bare, but they are wearing cloaks? For what? Against the cold? I can guarantee you that a cloak like that would not offer much protection from cold, or anything else.

    Coincidence?

    Oh and a witch is responsible for the creation of the Five, wow, that is so original isn’t it?
    Also, I couldn’t see it in the video for sure, so was the witch white or black?

    I would say probably black based on the show so far and what little could be seen in the scene. In that case: isn’t it astounding how Africans are just accepted by these medieval pale skinned Europeans? Wow, I had no idea that our ancestors were so accepting, tolerant and absolutely not prejudiced, what happened? I guess all this racism just appeared out of nowhere.

    I guess the whole scene is supposed to be important somehow. Yeah, as though TVD ever managed to say much with short scenes, rather the other way around. And we all know it won’t last, at least halfway through the show the current Five will be yesterdays news, to be replaced by some “new” Elena drama.

    You know, at one hand you have a point in pointing out the ridiculous denial in this episode, after all when did these characters ever really got things the way they are. Guess you really get dumber after you pass thirty on this show… wait no, that’s crap. On this show you are always dumb.
    But on the other hand, why point it out I wonder. I mean who is really surprised about that anymore?

    But maybe many fans are. At least some really seem to have pretty bad long-term memory. At least that would be an explanation how they can stand all this stuff.
    Seriously what idiot would believe that Stefan is not jealous or would have no reason to be? What idiot would care?

    Ok, I really have a tiny bit trouble believing what I just read:
    Elena could ONLY learn how to feed from Damon, and not from Caroline, because she’s “too good” at controlling her vampire urges?

    Seriously? Did they really come up with such a lame ass excuse? Couldn’t they just have said that Elena doesn’t really care about Caroline and is only with Damon because she wants to bone him? Or will that be saved for a later “dramatic” moment that in truth is totally cheesy and only reveals something everybody knew already?
    So here I am totally with you. That is just crap. What writers are they hiring?

    The denial of the truth on Rebekah’s case was the only one that was… well…. No, it’s just as stupid as the others. It fits the character as it did with the others, but it’s still stupid.
    If this show would follow normal rules it would be only a matter of short time until Rebekah snaps and starts killing people at random. But you know, you really seem to be able to see the family resemblance to Klaus isn’t it? Could it be that Mama Original had another hook up with that “Indian” who had genes for blond hair? Noooo the writers wouldn’t do something that requires that much retcon and totally flies in the face of what they previously stated.

    The only thing missing is that Matt falls for that, hopefully not. I mean to hook up with Caroline he must have something in common and apparently Caroline can be bought with gifts and nice words. Not to mention the insecurities and childish behavior, the blond hair, the attitude… Do you think Caroline and Rebekah are related? Can these similarities be a coincidence?
    Of course it is plain blond-stereotype. That both characters are not only childish, apparently easy to get and also blond is definitely no coincidence. Apparently thinking outside of the box is not possible for TVD.

    So Bonnie’s grams was a college professor and still everybody thought she was just an old witch? Correct me if I am mistaken, but shouldn’t in a small town like this… well shouldn’t it be known who was a college professor and who not? And wasn’t she (not the actress) a bit too old to have been one? I mean what was the time that African Americans could get higher degrees of education and actually work in such professions? I am not an expert on African American history, so somebody else would have to tell me.
    And is this little trip to college a hint that they finally let the characters graduate?

    You know from a logical point of view you would be right about what sort of people would make good vampire diet. The more meat the more blood. That was what I thought when I saw that third Blade movie years ago and saw all the victims of Dracul (or however they called him) lying on a heap. All skinny and in short dresses. Why, I asked. Not to mention that all of them would have too much blood for just one vampire. Now here on TVD “airheads and the self-absorbed” mean exactly that: the skinny ones with tight jeans or miniskirts. And the avoidance of “nerdy girls” doesn’t seem to have been an issue for Damon back in the days when he met Sage for the first time. Or are we supposed to assume that this victim of his belonged to the airheaded and self-absorbed kind?
    You know diet is not the reason writers pick victims of the kind Damon suggested, it is something else entirely. Now first, don’t get me wrong, I do not believe that the writers of TVD have the capability of looking behind their stupid justifications to see the deeper meaning of what they are doing but I still think that chances are high that the true reason is something else then what Damon stated. Basically there are three main reasons for picking such girls:
    1. Considered how much vampirism is linked to sex is western culture it is clear that by this it is stated that only such people are sexually desirable, and in cases of this blond female specimen (which is also linked to blond-stereotypes) are always available.
    2. In Western media it is not usually accepted if a woman knows that she is attractive, she must be modest and if she is not, she must be punished (interestingly men usually do not seem to be worthy of punishment for such “crimes”).
    3. By making Elena target such people; she can be portrayed as less of a monster (the “moral code” you mentioned) because they “deserve it.”

    Apparently TVD must judge again. Who’s to say that frat boy wasn’t getting back at the girl for something? Oh yeah right, can’t be. Because in such cases the guy is always the bad one. Frat-girls simply cannot be mean, not in TVD. Stereotype.
    Perhaps we should write letters to TVD-writers to show them how stereotypical they think. Now, better not, the paper should be used for something better.

    From an objective point of view it would be better to feed of people that are usually alone and not generally missed. But… you know the “moral code.”

    That party sounded really lame. And when I saw that picture of the party with Bonny and that guy with the glowing ring I thought:
    Wow, finally an Asian guy. This must be the one so the show cannot be accused of racism by excluding minorities.

    And Damon as Jack the Ripper… another reference to the Victorian Age. Seriously, am I the only one who noticed all the Victorian Age references? Or does everybody else think that this is coincidence?

    As for people noticing blood… TVD remember? Reality is out of the window here. Everything must serve the main three lamers. That is why Elena was suddenly crying, like I said in my last comment: it is the fight for her innocence. That is what the show is about in my eyes (the porch scene is another very obvious sign for that). Everything else is just filler.

    And what is your problem with Bonnie and her look? Seriously, these vampires are guns waiting to be shot? It is the characters’ fault that the writers write such dull storylines about an actually very self-absorbed character (I nearly wrote Caroline, hm, wonder where that came from) that is as interesting as last year’s weather report?

    Connor’s little stunt with the earring is just one of those examples when one writer among the many idiots has a good idea. Won’t last, won’t bring anything. No reason to be excited. Connor is probably going to do something really stupid pretty soon.

    So really? Rebekah knows of the Five? Seriously. What’s next, the guy had no clue that she was a vampire? That is so lame since apparently he knew. Why did he become a vampire hunter in the first place if he just blurts out this stuff the first chance he gets? There are only five of the Originals and he not only doesn’t recognize the enemy or does, he right along sleeps with a vampire and blurts out his secrets? What is this, part of some other grand master plan?
    And of course the writers don’t remember Stefan’s and Rebekah’s relationship, they had already forgotten it early in season 3. It would be something that is in the way of the lame main triangle, so of course it cannot be addressed and Rebekah has to go (therefore the stabbing).

    A friend of mine e-mailed me this link:
    http://vampirediariesonline.com/vampire-diaries-recaps/mystic-falls-messenger-tvd-recap-episode-4-04-the-five/
    It says that the Originals were following the Normans conquering the South. I couldn’t tell of course so I searched for it and found this:

    Except for wondering what they are referring to with “the East” hopefully not East Asia this already puts the story with Finn and Sage at odds (at that time Finn shouldn’t have been in Europe), the fact that it leads to the question where the hunters had the ashes from (after all that was quite some time after the burning of the tree), to say the least, I was curious on whether they got that piece of history right. There was already the stuff with their names, where it is debatable whether Christianity had already advanced so far, the fact that they were at the same time from Eastern Europe and Vikings (which aren’t even a people on their own but a “faction” of the Norse), that there were wild horses in their village albeit North America didn’t have any equines at the time and of course Esther’s coffin or Elijah’s statement about books, since at the time he was born they had already been around. So I did some research, I mean even a blind dog can find a stick can he?
    So I researched a bit, and while I cannot guarantee for the completeness of my sources I did found a bit:
    The only conquest of the Normans that fits the time period was the Conquest of Napels between 1077 and 1139 and at the time it was a really small portion of Italy and I am not sure whether that scenery fist the major part of Italy. So not as bad as the horses but equally vague as their names.
    Not to mention that they still haven’t explained how the second generation of vampires was sired.
    And isn’t it interesting that a living vampire burns in the sun but a dead one doesn’t?

    I think back in the days of season 3 I predicted that should Jeremy’s drawing skills resurface again it would be to serve Elena. Or maybe I didn’t. In either case that is surely what this current use of Jeremy is. I mean, why else should he be there? Because he can see the tattoo? Yeah right, that is surely not the reason. He probably has to be in danger so Elena can worry over him and be a hero, as the Promo suggests.
    Maybe this is the response to McQueen’s wish to be a vampire hunter in season 3 but let’s face it, he won’t. Because then he would be against his sister. And since according to next episode’s promo he is the reason she stays sane they won’t do it. Unless he becomes a bad guy and Elena must be good to save him or honor his memory or something.

    And this “I’M DOING IT FOR ELENA.”…
    This is my response:

    Again, all about Elena, Elena, Elena, Elena. Seriously, why are you watching this? You are annoyed by this as well.

    Oh, and it is a WEAPON that will “kill” all vampires. Yeah right, we had that already, two times to be precise and each time it didn’t work. Seriously, can anybody be dumb enough to fall for this crap again?
    And I basically had the same thought as you did (which should be evident from my last comment). If that weapon and these hunters were around for so long, why is it that only Klaus and Rebekah knew of them? Seriously, Klaus had passed into legend, but people talked about it. But no one knew of these hunters and their weapon? What did they do all this time? Throwing pebbles?
    And yeah, why didn’t at least Esther know? Or the dead witches, surely the performing witch died a long time ago. Nobody knows anything.
    This is plain and simple bad writing. Just like explaining all these werewolf stories with the Lockwood werewolf sort. Yeah right. Only an idiot without actual knowledge would think that these werewolves could have been the basis for all these legends.

    When I read you talking about the white oak stake I was thinking:
    Oh and Alex had a white oak stake and yet the Originals are all still around at the time of the show? Oh, Klaus is immune. What a surprise. So that’s why it didn’t work. Suddenly Klaus is immune. And what about his siblings? Shouldn’t they be dead? And if he was immune against the white oak, why did he bother in the first place? Or bother about that vampire killing weapon? Or was it just a regular stake?
    That is just:

    However, I must say you should work on your description skills, because I saw this:

    Well that is not the White Oak stake isn’t it?
    However, it revealed something equally ridiculous:
    1. The Originals could be staked in their sleep. (yeah that makes sense)
    2. Shouldn’t Finn have already been staked at the time?
    Also where did the daggers come from?
    And speaking about it, wasn’t there the statement in season 2 that any vampire using the dagger on another vampire would die?

    And the cure:
    For Elena again. So she can have the opportunity to be a wife and a mother again. Seriously does anybody else think that there is another reason for this?
    And if Klaus knew of that and had let some hunters go, why didn’t he search for that already?

    And where is the church the two were supposed to be married? Does that mean the vamps are leaving the United States? I believe that when I see it.

    And the Professor is the leader. Wow, that is surprising. What is this show aimed at? Fourth graders?

    Actually I found this also:

    So witches are the “architects” of everything supernatural and exist across all cultures. WRONG!!!!
    And this “true believer” stuff is the same crap I heard that in cryptozoology and among the wackjobs that believe that dinosaurs are dragons. The stuff even has the same flaw:
    It explains nothing!!!!
    Absolutely nothing.
    Apart from the fact that the European concept of a witch has no analogy to most other regions, they were just labeled the same (similar to vampires), this statement of the Professor is nonsense for one certain fact:
    WITCHES ARE SUPERNATURAL!!!!!!
    They cannot be the architect of the supernatural if they themselves are supernatural. That doesn’t make any sense. Or are the writers coming with the Nature stuff again? Yeah, right I already proved that to be a lie in my last comment. Not to mention if they say that witches are not supernatural due to this Nature stuff, then why are all the other stuff supernatural.

    I think TVD is anti-evolution and pro-creationism, ups… my bad, it’s not creationism of course, it’s intelligent design.

    Seriously same arguing regarding the origin of something. Exactly the same: They don’t answer the question, they just push it back a step.
    Not to mention in that case the witches really sucked major ass.
    Gosh, was there anything they didn’t mess up?

    • Hey Andre! Believe it or not, you actually found most of the episode online. So, you probably actually watched about 75 percent of The Rager episode.

      Hmmmm . . . what draws me to Delena. First, I think the two actors have a lot of on-screen chemistry, more so than Nina Dobrev has with Paul Wesley. Now, whether this has to do with them being coupled in real life remains to be seen I guess. But still, chemistry is always important to me, when choosing an on-screen couple to support.

      I also like the sort of antagonistic, passionate relationship Damon and Elena have with one another, whereas the Stelena relationship strikes me as more, one-note. I tend to prefer relationships where the couples involved fight, challenge one another, and exude heat in their relationship. Does it always make for a more healthy coupling? No, but it’s a hell of a lot more interesting to watch than a couple who is always lovey dovey with one another, but seems more like it’s “going through the emotions of what it thinks a relationship should be, rather than actually experiencing the relationship.”

      Challenging one another . . . that’s another aspect of the Delena relationship I enjoy. I like that Elena causes Damon to question his preconceived notions of love, morality, and humanity, and how Damon does the same thing for Elena. Elena makes Damon a more “moral” person, whereas Damon makes Elena a less judgmental one. I believe the mark of a good relationship is one that brings out the best character aspects in both parties.

      I also feel like, after this week’s episode, Damon’s love for Elena is more unconditional than Stefan’s, since Stefan gets turned off by Elena, every time he sees her acting in a way that differs from the angelic girl he puts inside the box in his head that says “Elena.” Damon, on the other hand, loves Elena, regardless of what mood, or state, she is in at the time. He loves her when she’s being angelic. He loves her when she’s being a bitch to him. He loves her when she’s acting like an impulsive vampire. I think most people seek out a relationship, where their partner loves them for exactly who they are, faults and all, as opposed to only loving the best parts of them and merely “tolerating” the rest.

      Yeah, I do get annoyed with this show, when everybody does everything “for Elena.” And I get annoyed with Elena for her treatment of other characters on the show (particularly Damon) often too. But I still enjoy the show, and feel attached to it’s characters and it’s storylines.

      Oh yeah . .. and these recaps. When all else fails, I watch the show to write them. Because I’ve been so busy lately (trying to write a fourth novel for nanowrimo, on top of everything going on in my personal life), that I’ve practically abandoned recapping apart from this show. If I stopped doing this, I’d feel SUPER guilty. Not to mention, I suspect some fellow viewers would come to my house and beat me up. 🙂

      Oh, and to answer your questions, Bonnie’s ancestor in the first scene was definitely black. And the hybrid that got his head chopped off was Asian. But I think Professor Shane is Italian, maybe? I couldn’t tell. But I don’t think he’s Asian. I’ll have to look that up.

  8. tracy

    do you ever review PLL anymore?! what about the halloween special

    • Hi Tracy,

      I was so late on recapping the Halloween special, that I assumed no would read anything I wrote about it. 🙂 The show is on hiatus now. But I’d like to continue reviewing it, when it returns in January.

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