Gossip Girl is DEAD . . . and a Donut?! – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s SERIES Finale

baby bass

“I’m Mini Bass.”

My dear GGers.  I know I’ve been a bit remiss this season about recapping the trials and tribulations of our favorite Upper East Siders.  (OK . . . I haven’t recapped them at all.)

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However, seeing as Gossip Girl uttered her final XOXO earlier this week, I felt I couldn’t possibly bid the series a fond adieu, without at least offering up some final words .  . . consider it a eulogy, of sorts.

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In which Bart Bass proves that Evil Old Men can fly . .  . and die.

YOLO my ass

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Here’s a philosophical question for you. If a man falls from the roof of a heavily populated skyscraper, onto a busy street, and no one sees him go splat (or is squashed by him), did it really happen?

natefused lola rhodes

Last week, we all laughed inappropriately at the sight of Chuck Bass battling his Big Bad Dad on the roof, as “SCARY” Music swelled awkwardly in the background.  We marveled at how a single push from Chuck, who, let’s face it, has never exactly been the athletic type . . .

bass ket

Bass-ketball, anyone?

. . . was enough to send NotDonaldTrump soaring over the side of the skyscraper, like an inept super villain in the final pages of a comic book.

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“Just hanging out . . .”

Then, we giggled as Blair and Chuck did all but throw the man a Going Away Party as the Big Bass-tard plummeted to his death.

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Hey, that was actually kind of fun to watch.  Let’s see that again . . .

dying bart bass

I know.  I’m a terrible person.  Moving on . . .

Perhaps, all the hot air that filled Bart Bass’s head facilitated a surprisingly smooth landing.  Because, not only did the real estate magnate’s dive-bombing body not cause ANY damage whatsoever to the streets below, the sheet that is now covering it is conspicuously free of blood.  Talk about a classy way to go!  Then again, Bart Bass is what some would call an Expert Die-r.  He’s done this before . . .

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Reporters are now on the scene.  And police are questioning everyone on the Upper East Side, even going as far as to stop limos leaving the party where Bart Bass was last seen.  Of course, they are only checking the back seats of those limos . . . not the trunks.  After all, why would someone who just committed murder hide away in the trunk of a car?  That would be silly!

in the trunk

Possible conception spot for Henry Bass?

Yes, boys and girls, Chuck and Blair are ON THE LAM!  (I’ve always wanted to say that.)

They’ve turned themselves into a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde.  You know how I know?  Because the song playing in the background on Gossip Girl says so!

In which everyone finds out Bart Bass is dead, and Chuck is a suspect, except . . . you know . . . THE GUY WHO OWNS THE NEWSPAPER!

Oh dear sweet Nate, with your permanently glassy (but still very pretty) blue eyes from a decade of pot smoking ./ . . and your equal opportunity boning of tweens and cougars alike . . . you must seriously be the WORST NEWSPAPER MAN EVER!  OK . . . OK, I know you are dating a 17-year old.  And she probably told you that using pretty-colored handwritten index cards to study once helped her earn a B+ on a very hard exam about the Civil War.  But seriously?  This is how you choose to solve the mystery of Gossip Girl’s identity?  No wonder it took you five years!

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Also, hey I majored in journalism   write a blog  watched Newsroom a few times on HBO!  I know that all major news outlets get blasts on the wire, before everybody else.  Not Nate though.  He has to get a call from Ivy/Charlie/CallMeSerena telling him to turn on the television, where Bart’s death has made prime time.  Nate Archibald, you’ve just been scooped . . . again.

I like how uniformly uncooperative the rest of the Non-Judging Breakfast Club, and their respective parental units, are when the police come snooping around for C and B, especially since it seems like most of them are 100% certain their friends / children are guilty of murder.  Now that’s what I call true friendship.  If I had to choose a favorite brush-off of the po-po, however, I’d probably have to go with Nate.  I mean, it takes a real true blue friend to tell a cop.  “Yes, there’s a rather young looking woman in my bedroom.  And yes, it’s quite obvious I’m sleeping with her, which I know is statutory rape.  But no, she can’t talk to you about Chuck Bass, Mr Policeman, because she is much too young.

nate and sage

“Do you think we can hurry this up?  Spongebob Squarepants is on in three minutes.”

Speaking of super sneaky legal loopholes . . .

“It’s twisted, but very you . . .”

1 8 bed head chuck

“Peekaboob!”

Chuck and Blair are holed up in a hotel . . . ON THE LAM (Twice in one recap, WOO HOO!).  And who should pop in with a tray he stole from room service (probably after schtupping the maid), but a surprisingly twiggy looking Jack Bass?    (Oh, seeing these three individuals in a hotel room together, brings back bad memories.  No me gusta.)

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Turns out, the dude put a tracking device on Chuck Bass’ limo, just for sh*ts and giggles.  You know, because that’s not creepy at all . . .

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Anywhoo, since Blair is the only person on the entire planet who saw Chuck, not so much kill Bart, as huff and puff and blow his body off the building, Jack comes up with the idea that the two should get married!

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This will enable the pair to take advantage of the spousal privilege laws that prevent husbands and wives from testifying against one another in court.  It will also serve as a massive apology to Chair fans, who have suffered through Blair’s ill-fated pseudo-romantic relationships with the likes of a Louis-bot and  a certain doughy pastry, who shall remain not-so-nameless.

twisted but you

“It’s twisted, but it’s very you,” Jack Bass muses.

(It’s also the Graysons on Revenge.  Spousal privilege marriages are SO the new Greencard Marriages.)

Chuck is bothered by this.  He wants the love of his life to have the wedding of her dreams.  Blair reminds him that she did that already, back last season when she married the cyborg with the weird accent, thus proving that dreams are usually VERY overrated.

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She also reminds Chuck of this memorable moment between them . . .

Upon being reminded that he and Blair aren’t a boring couple .  . . like say Louis-bot and Blair . . . or Blair and You Know Who, Chuck decides to propose again.  And why not?  He knows this is the only realistic way to get him and Blair married off and spawning during this abridged final hour of television, amidst about 30 minutes of those cloying Carrie Diaries commercials loves this woman, and wants to spent the rest of his life with her.  The ends therefore, definitely justify the shady means . . .

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Meanwhile, on some private jet . . .

In which Serena forgives Donut way too quickly, despite never actually receiving an apology (or a retraction)

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Call me callous.  But if someone published really crappy things about me in Vanity Fair for the world to read.  And then he sent me some nice words about me that he never planned to publish, I would probably use the paper containing those “nice words” as toilet paper, the next time I really had to pee.

But I guess Serena is a better person than me . . . or at least a dumber one.  Because all it takes is a few kind paper words from Donut Dan.  And, suddenly, girlfriend has abandoned her private jet to LaLa land (must be nice), and returned to the “villain’s” apartment for “answers,” and, I suspect, a hopeful shot at makeup sex.

terrible at goodbyes

“I also have very little self respect.  Shhh!”

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Now, maybe it’s just because I’m not a big Dan Fan.  But, honestly, I didn’t find the guy’s apology all that “apologetic.”  Basically, Dan’s explanation for why he wrote terrible things about Serena was because he developed a crush on her sophomore year, to the tunes of Rihanna’s Pon de Replay, and has been stalking her ass ever since?  That sounds more like a confession of guilt to me.  But hey, at least it gave us the opportunity to see Flashback!Chuck and Flashback!Nate in HIDEOUS wigs, and hear Flashback!Blair utter the words “Happy Barf Day!”

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Elsewhere in Manhattan . . .

Ivy Dickens, Queen of the Swamp People, star of “Nobody Gives a Damn”

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Question: If a woman who is always boning younger guys is called a cougar, what do you call a young woman with a penchant for humping fogies?  Cougarthritis?

4 21 blushpink call me s

Maybe you just call her Charlie/Ivy/CallmeSerena . . .

Yeah, poor St. Ives . . . She thought the death of Bart Bass meant a beginning of public bliss for her and the perpetually sniveling Dr. VDW.  But, in a classic case of Turnabout is Fair Poison Ivy, the good doctor — who once tried to poison his ex wife, in order to get her to love him again — was only using Ivy to get to Lily, just as Ivy was using Rufus for the exact same reason . . . well sort of . . .

ivy dickens story

Be careful, VDW.  This chick has bunny burner written all over her . . .

bunny burner

So you could imagine how mortified / miserable Ivy became when Dr. VDW denied their relationship ever existed, in front of none other than Miss Lily herself.  “You’re a Lifetime movie called ‘Nobody Gives a Damn,’ the Ivy Dickens story.  Actually, I think I saw that one before.  Didn’t Tori Spelling star in it?

Just as hilarious is Dr. VDW’s assessment that Ivy’s Florida roots made her “Queen of the Swamp People.”  There is always a certain type of New Yorker, who believes that any residence outside of the five boroughs is basically Hillbilly town.  VDW is definitely one of those dudes.  He’s a total douche, but at least he’s damn funny.  Maybe they should have made him Gossip Girl . . .

The Quick and The Wed

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I don’t know about you.  But if I had a bunch of cops out looking for me, and I didn’t want to be found, the absolute last place I’d go would be the local courthouse.  But that’s where Chuck and Blair go to get their quickie marriage license.  (Now, come on.  I know it’s not Vegas. But there’s gotta be at least one of those crazy drive-thru chapel’s in Manhattan.  Just saying . . .)

chair wedding

Once their marriage is legal, Chuck and Blair decide to make it official, inviting all of their friends for an impromptu wedding over at . . . of all places THE MET!  How fitting!  Chuck even gives Blair an Egyptian Snake ring to seal the deal.  It’s no Harry Winston.  That’s for sure.  But in a way, like the circumstances surrounding their marriage, it’s . . . wait for it . . . “twisted, but totally them.”

At the wedding Dan magically gives Worst Newsman Ever Nate a Vanity Fair piece on Gossip Girl, and Nate acts like he’s just received inside information on the taking down of Osama Bin Laden.  (Knowing Nate, he probably isn’t even aware that’s happened yet.)  He gets his high school girlfriend to publish the scoop on his behalf (because, you know, Nate’s “staff” only consists of people he porks), and turns his attention back to the wedding.

4 22 mini mes those two chicks

When the Newsie overhears Mini Blair and Mini Serena (remember those two?) on the steps of the Met complaining that Gossip Girl never published their scoop on Chuck and Blair’s quickie wedding, Nate FINALLY puts two and two together, and figures out that . . . DAN . . . IS . . . GOSSIP GIRL!

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But then the girls end up reporting C&B to the police.  (INGRATES!)  And now it’s race against the clock to get them “kiss the briding” in time.  Chuck dips Blair into a triumphant kiss, uttering his trademark, “three words, eight letters” line just moments before the cops take him and his new bride away.  Part of me kind of wishes that, when the cops came for “Blair Waldorf,” she would have announced “I’m Blair Bass,” in true “Mrs. Chuck” style.

im chuckbass

But she didn’t.  I guess Blair isn’t really the type to take a man’s last name, even if it’s Chuck Bass’.  Oh well . . .

It’s Donut Dan’s Coming Out Party, and YOU’RE Invited

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Hilarity ensues, when Nate’s cheeseball newspaper outs Dan Humphrey as Gossip Girl, and we get to watch all the show’s past guest stars react.  “I always thought it was Dorota,” exclaims Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

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(Sure, blame the maid.  Typical New York politician . . .)

“That B*TCH!” Announces Agnes, that chick who once burned Little Jenny Humphrey’s fashion designs in an outdoor trashcan  . . .

Juliet and Vanessa are also shocked,  but not quite as shocked as Rachel Bilson and the voice of GG herself, Kristen Bell, who in a highly meta scene, play themselves auditioning for the film version of Dan’s book, Inside.  “Gossip Girl is real?”  Bilson exclaims, as Kristen Bell offers an exaggerated wink at the camera.

is real

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Oh Veronica Mars!  I haven’t had this much fun watching you on my screen, since that one time when you killed Sookie Stackhouse .  . .

. . .  or that other time when you got really, REALLY excited about a sloth . . .

Plothole, Schmathole.  It’s the FINALE!

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OK.  Now despite having never been a Dan Fan, there are some things I really like about his character ending up being Gossip Girl.  For one thing, unlike that goopy love letter he wrote to Serena that somehow ended up in the New Yorker, during Season 1, or that crap Dair fanfiction we know better as Dan’s first “novel” Inside,  the fact that Dan, even at the young age of 16, was able to so seamlessly mimic the voice of a snooty Upper East Side female actually makes him a GOOD writer.  This show has always been telling us, ad nauseum, that Dan had talent, but this is the first and only time I actually believe it.

laughing dan

And yeah, that “talent” also makes him a sociopath . . . one that most likely has multiple personality disorder.

crazy bitch

It’s the only possible explanation for his sending blasts to Gossip Girl, and acting visibly surprised when they hit his own e-mail, despite being alone at the time he received them.  Or how about that time when Gossip Girl outed Dan for porking a teacher?  Or the time when Dan porked the Hillary Duff character, and Gossip Girl knew she was an actress back when she first appeared, but it took “Dan” weeks to figure it out . . .  Let’s not forget that the whole time Dan dated Blair, Gossip Girl thought she was a better match for Chuck . . .

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now im crazy gg plotholes

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It’s actually pretty clear that the writers hadn’t decided on the identity of Gossip Girl, until at least early Season 5, despite their protests to the contrary.

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But hey, now we just have another reason to re-rent those DVD’s and prove them wrong right?  From a marketing perspective, choosing Dan as Gossip Girl was actually pretty genius . . .

Oh, and I did like the idea that Little J knew that Dan was Gossip Girl, and used it to her own advantage, like when she wanted to challenge Blair as Queen B, and when she wanted to leave town, after her unfortunate virginity slicing rendezvous with Chuck . . .

In short, those Humpty Dumpty’s really were the ultimate scheming social climbers .  . . something we’ve really always secretly suspected,  back in Season 1.

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But what I don’t understand is why everyone but Blair was totally cool with it, especially considering how many times Gossip Girl ruined each of their lives, while Donut Dan sat idly by and feigned moral anguish?

I guess considering the guy has already lambasted the entire Upper East Side crew, first in a national bestseller, and then in Vanity Fair, nothing would surprise them about this douche.

And yet, when Dan triumphantly announced that Gossip Girl is dead, part of me wishes the entire cast pulled out their carving knives and killed him.  Now THAT would have been a cool ending . . .

you are dead

A Derena Wedding and the Most Adorable Mini Bass EVER

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Flash forward five years into the future.  Chuck and Blair are happily married with the best-cast child star EVER as their kid “Henry Bass.”  (a clever nod to Chuck’s days living in Europe under the pseudonym “Henry Prince”).

But where was Monkey?

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“I’ve been replaced by a child star.  GRRR!”

Blair has taken over Waldorf designs, with none other than Jenny Humphrey herself, as her prime fashion designer . . .

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(She’s come a long way since her days as a rabid raccoon . . .)

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(Though, honestly, these two’s fashion senses couldn’t be more disparate, so I’m not really sure how that works.)

Lily is married to Dr. VDW again.  And Rufus is married to . . . wait for it . . . Lisa LOEB.  Remember her?

All those years, and girlfriend never bought a new pair of glasses . . .

Jack Bass hooked up with Georgina Sparks, which kind of works, considering they are pretty much both the same person.

georgina and jack

(Though I do wonder what happened to Baby Milo and that “Nice Guy” she used to call her husband.)

georgina hubby and milo

drunk interesting

Nate is single, but running for MAYOR?!

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(And you said Gossip Girl wasn’t funny!)

Eric VDW is back from the set of Revenge, and spouting some facial hair.  But he’s single too.

And how could we forget Charlie/Ivy/CallMeSerena Dickens?

ivy league

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He’s PSYCHIC!

Oh, and it took five years, but Serena finally married Gossip Girl.  Ahhh . . . a gay wedding, in more ways than one . . .

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Even Donuts deserve love . . .

In the episode’s final moments, Kristen Bell reprises her role as the voice of Gossip Girl one more time, only this time around she’s the voice of a NEW GENERATION of Upper East Siders.  And so what was once old has theoretically become new again.

rid of dan

never rid of me

All in all it was a flawed but fitting end to a series with which us fans, I suspect, all have a pretty complicated relationship . . . much like the relationship it’s main characters have with one another.  We loved it. . .

We hated it . . .

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We were aroused . . .

We were nauseated . . .

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We wanted more . . .

We wanted it to end . . .

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But through all the ups and downs, Gossip Girl will remain an important part of my TV viewing history . . . one that I suspect will send me clamoring back to YouTube for nostalgia’s sake, for years to come.  And for that I have the show’s cast, its crew, its costume designers, and, yes, even its writers to thank.

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They all know we love them, and will miss them terribly.  XOXO,

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever 2]

8 Comments

Filed under Gossip Girl

8 responses to “Gossip Girl is DEAD . . . and a Donut?! – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s SERIES Finale

  1. Bravo as usual yes its been a long bumpy ride
    xoxo
    SassyFran **wink**

  2. Amelia

    HII!! It’s been a while, I’ve missed your recaps!
    You’re right, marrying for spousal privilege is totally the new thing, and I shamelessly ship the Graysons, lol
    But back to the episode.. since I’ve never really cared for the Donut, the reveal of him as GG was ridiculous, but I feel that if they thought of this from the beginning, it could’ve worked out. If we’re talking season 6, then sure he could be GG, but the series as a whole? nah.
    As happy as I am that Chuck/Blair got their happy ending, the fact that there was an entire episode dedicated to Blayer/Loueeeh’s marriage, whereas CB had 3 minutes max makes me a bit bitter. I’m also a bit annoyed because season 6 seemed to try to make it seem like Derena is ~the ship~ of GG, the root, the core, etc. Although the show might have began with Derena,Chuck/Blair’s love was constant, despite the other relationships, the breakups, the hurt,and the horrible things the writers did to CB, we never were fully convinced that they could move on from each other for good. On the other hand, DS moved on from each other plenty of times, the endgame could’ve been more believable if they constructed it better. Carter should’ve came and said “Hey beautiful”, and travel with S all over the place. But whatever lol, we can’t change the show now.
    Overall, I did enjoy the finale and the retrospective, I loved the flashbacks, the callbacks in Chuck/Blair’s proposal,and the pairing that should’ve happened ages ago: Jack/Georgina. I loved that racoon Jenny and Blair have seemingly put their differences aside and are working together. The last few seasons have been pretty horrible, but it’s still a bit sad to let go. It’s been a long ride, but we’ve finally seen the “chairytale” and the adorable Henry Bass as well. I loved Kristen Bell and Rachel Bilson’s cameo. I already miss NYC, the fashion, and Chuck/Blair.. but such is life. It’s been great reading your recaps over the years. It’s truly the end of an era in my life, not to be dramatic LOL.
    XOXO

  3. aleksandra

    Hi Julie! I’ve missed a GG recap from you so much. I LOVED the final episode but with some exceptions. I’m so sad that we’ve only got 10 episodes and that the writers didn’t used them as good as they could I mean there should be more CB scenes especially after all we Chair fans have been through and there was too much Chuck&Bart drama, Nate&Sage- I wasn’t a fan of this couple, and Dan writing this shitty articles wasn’t a good idea, the writers should have been redeeming him and not making us hate him more. However Dangina collaboration was fun to watch. There were many moments during the series when I thought they could be endgame. I’m so happy that Chuck and Blair got married but I’m sad that it was in such a hurry and that the ceremony was interrupted by cops. When it was Blouis marriage we saw so many preparations, the bridal shower etc. Dan being Gossip Girl I’m OK with it. I also think that J was his right hand all this time when it comes to creating GG blog, I mean she put a lot of the posts on that site, that would explain why Dan was sometimes surprised reading the blasts. Derena being endgame I’m also OK with it. I liked Derena in S1 and in the first half of S2, later it was very complicated. They were a couple in the beginning of GG and they must have many fans if they’re endgame.In general the’re a nice couple, they both made mistakes but of course Dan more. Serena said in S5 that Dan is the love of her life and Dan loves her too so I can buy that they’re endgame. However I would be really happy with Serenate being endgame, they were really great together and I loved them as a couple. I’m sooo sad that Nate ended up being alone. I love that Jack and Georgina are together. I’ve always thought that Lily and Rufus will end up together but I’m OK with Lily&William and Rufus&Lisa. I don’t like the fact that J is working for Waldorf Designs. I lked all the cameos, the flashback and I LOVED the flashforward. Chair wedding wasn’t like I dreamed but I’m HAPPY that they are married and have a son. Henry is so adorable and Chuck is such a great Dad. Chuck and Blair are HAPPY after all they’ve been through and so am I. I’m sad that it was your last GG recap but I’ll be returning to your GG recaps many many times. GG writers made so many mistakes but I LOVE GG and I’ll rewatch it many times.
    Merry Christmas Julie!
    XOXO

  4. East Coast Captain

    I haven´t watched Gossip girl since Season 3 but great ending. Henry is a good match, he does look like Chuck and Blair´s son. Now if he could be paired with Dan and Serena´s daughter who hasn´t been conceived yet!

    It seems this Gossip Girl will remain an urban legend for now because someone else has probably taken the mantle.

  5. chloe

    I was really worried with this season. Only 10 episodes? I got even more worried towards the end thinking how on earth are they going to tie up all these loose ends in two episodes? But I think they did it. It had such an ending that you were satisfied and could move on with your life.
    As for Dan? Well I have hated him since episode one and I’ve rented the DVDs and watched every single episode so he had more than enough chances to make me like him and I always wanted Nate and Serena as endgame but I that last episode, the donut managed to convince me he was good with Serena. I don’t know how or why but I was oddly happy when they got married.
    I’ve ALWAYS been a chair fan and was going to cry if they didn’t end up together. I was soooo happy when they did. I have to say the wedding was better than any other gossip girl wedding, it was perfect!

    Xoxo Chloe 🙂

    P.s Henry is officially the cutest kid on TV

  6. That laughing baby .gif is just so cute. I watched all the seasons and the ending was pretty weird… Georgina and Uncle Jack? I do love the Chuck and Blair tandem and I’m glad they found their happy ending.

    I never would’ve guessed who Gossip Girl is though. Dorota would’ve been perfect. Cool!

  7. Julie

    Hey Julie!! Instead of commenting on TVD’s recap this week, I decided to leave my thoughts here, regarding the importance of the post 🙂
    Great recap.. must say got a little bit tired myself of the series, I just kept watching it because it seamed like a waste of time and energy of all these years (and lets face it, the show used to be GREAT) and I felt it deserved the patience and loyalty.
    The ending didn’t disappoint though, having Dan as GG was a shock since I’ve never spent much time wondering about GG’s identity (my bets were on Dorota). Clever move, I think… making it look like Dan had this Machiavellic plan all along (plot holes aside, which I’m willing to forgive).
    All in all, I enjoyed the series finale and felt the corresponding nostalgia watching the flashbacks, those were some good old days.
    As regarding Mini Bass… I totally agree with you, best kid casting ever.. he was literally a mini Chuck… and my inner Disney-Love-Story fan was jumping up and down (I may, may not have clapped a little) at the sight of those two happily married with a cute kid. (Die-hard Chair shipper)
    And on a quick general review: Nate for mayor??? come on… LOOVED seeing Jenny back (I crossed my fingers for that to happen all episode long). Not so sure of how I feel about Lily and Dr.VDW (I never really liked him)… kinda wanted to see Vanessa at the wedding (wasn’t she like his bff?) and I literally giggled at the shot of Georgina and Jack Bass… just perfect.
    I re-read my comment and realize I’m not adding anything really… I just wanted to share my view of the series finale… I had this light mixture of feelings as I listed to the last “xoxo, GossiGirl” I almost wanted to go back in time (not to continue the series, please, no) but it really felt like the end of an era.
    So after quickly going through discussion boards, and searching my closet (were I can certainly NOT find anything like those girls wear 😦 ) I rushed to your blog as I remembered you watched GG too. Nice to see we share more than our love for semi-nude vampires 😉
    My share for superficial teen glamorous drama will be missed… It was a nice ride
    Have a great week Julie! Until your next recap!

  8. Svitlana

    Dear Julie!
    I never wrote a comment but always enjoyed your great and hilarious recaps, especially after I stopped watching the show as it just got bad and then worse and then when you just thought it was so bad it just couldn´t get any worse….guess what…it actually did get even worse. But why am I telling you that, you already know. Actually, what I want to tell you is a huge Thank You for your wonderful recaps! I missed Chair and the first two seasons of GG so I really enjoyed your recaps instead of watching.
    Yesterday, I watched “The Final Page” episode of “How I met your mother” and I thought this would be the way I actually wanted the proposal between Chuck and Blair to be. So I put up my version of the event based on Barney´s 16-step-masterplan and decided to share it with you. Hope you like it.
    But we Chair fans have been through a lot and waited quite a while so this shouldn´t be too long. 12 steps would do it, too.
    Ok, let´s start. “The Proposal” or “How I met your motherchucker”. (based on this http://www.thetalkingbox.com/2012/12/himym-barney-proposes-to-robin.html, starts at step 5)
    Step 1: Find someone who annoys Blair most and ask for her help.
    Let´s consider a candidate. Vanessa? Ok, stop, not someone who annoys YOU most. Someone who annoys Blair. Dan? Again, not someone who annoys the Chair fans most. Let´s settle with Georgina.
    Step 2: Pretend to be dating Georgina.
    We should have chosen Dan back at step 1. Chuck pretending to date Dan would be fun to watch. Remember Chucks face when he asked Dan if he was gay back in season 2? Would love to see it again.
    Step 3: Check with doctor over broken ribs.
    These might come from an angry Chair fan (e.g. Dorotha?) or from the Queen B herself. Doesn´t really matter though, the Bad Boy deserves it anyway.
    Step 4: Wait until Blair breaks into your place to steal the Playbook.
    Ok, I do realize that Chuck doesn´t have a Playbook like Barney does. (Why not, by the way? He would have been great at it). I do recall Chuck having some sort of an address book with phone numbers of all the slutty girls though. This might do it.
    Step 5: Have a big fight with Georgina over Playbook. Gossip Girl broadcasts the fight live on big screen.
    Ok, this sounds unrealistic. Not only Georgina knows Chuck is a player but she probably has her own Playbook. We should have chosen Vanessa back at step 1.
    Step 6: Prove loyalty to Georgina by burning the Playbook, you don’t need it anymore.
    Besides, most of your plays are documented on Gossip Girl, so it won`t be a big loss anyway.
    Step 7: Tell only Dan-the-Gossip-Girl about the Georgina engagement plan.
    I must say I liked the idea of Dan being a Gossip Girl.
    Step 8: If Dan posts on Gossip Girl, it means he’s let go of Blair and given his blessing.
    And even if Dan doesn´t give his blessing who gives a damn anyway?
    Step 9: Blair finds the secret, final play in the book, the last one that will ever be run.
    On the rooftop of you know what building.
    Step 10: Blair realizes she’s under mistletoe.
    And so is motherchucker.
    Step 11: Hope she says yes.
    Of course she does.
    Step 12: Blair and Chuck celebrating the occasion in the limo.
    Ok, that wasn´t in Barneys plan, that´s just a bonus for all Chair fans out there.
    This or something like this would be “twisted but so them”, don´t you think?
    And after that the whole look-into-the-future-thing ( that wasn´t bad, really. Especially the kid was great cast.)
    Thank you big time again, Julie!
    XoXo,
    Svitlana

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