I Know What You Did Last Silas . . . – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Into the Wild”

delusional are you

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Nothing like a little change of scenery to shake things up a bit.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, we all love getting wasted on whiskey at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls . . .

save a drink for

And getting staked at Elena Gilbert’s house .  . .

throwing stakes

And getting chased by psychopaths down the hallway of Mystic Falls High . . .

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And we DEFINITELY love getting wet in Damon’s shower . . .

wet damon 2

But sometimes we all can use a break from the daily grind of getting our hearts ripped out of our chests . . .

rebekah heart

. . . and hot no-frills sex . . .

stebekah

. . . and drama with a capital D.

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Sometimes, we just need to . . . go to Canada . . .

This week’s installment of TVD was a literal detour from week’s past, in that a good portion of it took place on a remote island off the coast of Nova Scotia . . . Lost Island Silas Island.  So, strap on that backpack, hold your ancient headstone up high, and practice your “expression,” Fangbangers.  Because it’s time to head . . . “Into the Wild.”

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[As always special thanks to Andre, who photographs Steven R. McQueens pectorals more lovingly than Bonnie Bennett ever could . . .]

Bushy hair is whacked!

scared shane

It’s Super Short Flashback Time!  Professor Dumpy Dork is being chased through the forest by . . . wait . . . is that Johnny Depp’s character from The Lone Ranger?

running man

depp tonto

I guess we can take this to mean the natives are on Team Dead Kol, when it comes to letting The Cure stay buried, right alongside other Discarded TVD Plotlines, like Damon’s Crow and Bonnie’s decision to date her sort-of brother?

funny kol face

“Now, where was Johnny Depp, last week, when I was getting my ass handed to me at Baby Vamp’s house?”

Back in the present day, our Scooby Gang (minus Caroline and Tyler) arrives on Lost Island Silas Island in their trusty canoes.  (Who knew Mystic Falls had its very own Eastern Mountain Sports store?)  Professor Dumpy Dork waxes poetic about the island, and makes some lame vampire sunscreen joke to Damon, who looks unamused.

sunscreen

“Are you sure?  It smells like coconuts?”

Then, Rebekah and Elena try to stake one another in front of Stefan, who looks VERY amused, but has to pretend he’s not . . . you know, to protect his image as the Brooding Tortured One.

girlfight

Hey . . . you know what . . . while we are waiting for something exciting to happen, let’s go ahead and give our Scooby Gang their Lost identities for the hour.  After all, this is the Lost episode of TVD, after all.  (For those of you who never watched Lost, feel free to skip down to the next section, as this part is going to make absolutely no sense to you.)

dancing losties light-comma-sticks

Professor Dumpy Dork, of course, is our Benjamin Linus.  You know, the guy who fans new was bad news, the minute he appeared on screen.  And yet the Losties took about a season to figure out the exact same thing . . .

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professor shane

Damon is that uber sexy snarky rascal, Sawyer (naturally) . . .

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the show

Which, I guess makes Elena, the intrepid Kate . . .

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And Stefan the serious minded doctor with daddy issues, Jack . . .

we have to go back

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Depending on your personal feelings about her, Rebekah could either be the started-out-as-an-Other, but-turned-into-an-ally / plucky love interest blonde, Juliet . . .

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love and caring

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 . . . or the bratty, doomed-to-die blonde with brother issues, Shannon . ..

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Our warrior Jeremy, will double as THEIR Warrior, Sayid . . .

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Also starring Bonnie Bennett as . . .  the Smoke Monster . . .

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X Marks Jeremy’s Nipple

Now, I like obligatory shots of Steven R. McQueen’s naked flesh as much as the next girl . . .

photograph body

But could someone please tell me why they waited until the crew got to FREEZING COLD LOST ISLAND for Bonnie to start snapping pictures of JerBear’s hot bod?

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They couldn’t have done that before they left . . . like, say, in Jeremy’s bed?

Because the way Bonnie was fondling that tattoo definitely seemed illustrate a bit more than “scientific interest” on her part . . .

fondle

And let’s be honest, as far as Maps To the Cure go, this one seems to pretty much be the Easiest One to Read EVER.  I mean, we are pretty much talking about a straight line from Jer Bear’s right arm to his left nipple.  Not much room for error, there . . .

more nip

As for the theory that JerBear’s hunter tattoo is not a map at all, but a “spell to awaken Silas,” that theory ends up pretty much being a dead end too.  So, in other words, the Scooby Gang just had thousands of vampires, so that Jeremy could look sexier with his shirt off . . .

jeremy arm

Makes perfect sense to me!

This is My Confession . . .

Damon Salvatore .  . . He’s an enigma, wrapped in pain, wrapped in love, leather, and a nice behind .  . .

nice behind 1

damon eternal stud

He was a self-proclaimed monster, with a deep dark secret, one he couldn’t bare to share with anyone, who would live to tell it to anyone else.  Damon Salvatore was a vampire, who missed his humanity . . .

And yet, unlike a certain other Salvatore, he was never ashamed of who he was.  And when the woman he loved also turned into a vampire . . . well . . . it didn’t change how he felt about her, in the least . . .

So, he taught her to love herself, which, in turn, helped her to realize that she loved him . . .

Why am I recapping all of this for you?  Well, basically, because I found Damon’s admission this week, that, not only did HE not want the cure,  but he didn’t want Elena to take it either, a bit confusing.

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dont understand

Now, don’t get me wrong, I particularly enjoyed Ian Somerhalder’s acting this week.  There was a certain wistfulness about him, that we haven’t seen in some time.  I loved the resigned sadness on his face, as Elena fervently reassured him of her continued love for him, human or vampire.

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It was quite obvious that Damon’s history wasn’t letting him believe her.  Yet, he really WANTED to believe her.  And, above all, he wanted her to be happy.  So, he pretended to be happy too, even though, inside, he was miserable.

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That made sense to me.  What didn’t make sense was Damon’s sudden shunning of Elena . . . his assertion that he wouldn’t want to be with her, while she got old and died, and he stayed the same age . . . even though, for three seasons, the love unrequited Elder Salvatore seemed like he would have given the world for that opportunity.

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Was Damon lying to himself?  Was he subconsciously trying to make himself believe that he could no longer love a human Elena, so that it would hurt less, if she stopped loving him?

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Then again, maybe, the writers are just doing a little ret-con to make the inevitable plot twist of DAMON dying and coming back as a human, while Elena stays a vampire, more epic.

And, while we’re on the subject, shouldn’t this so-called sire bond, have immediately caused Elena to shun the cure, once she realized that her taking it would displease Damon?

thinking damon bitemesomerhalder

Whatever the reason, I cheered when Damon tried to beat the sh*t out of Professor Dumpy Dork.  (A least someone has finally wised up to the idea that this guy is up to no good.)  And I was kind of bummed, when Elena stopped him.

soap dish smash

Speaking of the Shanester . . .

Fake Aztec Moonstone Curse 2: Electric Boogaloo

I don’t know about you guys, but for me, there was something about Shane’s flashback stories that struck me as a little bit . . . what’s the word I’m looking for here . . . oh yeah, FULL OF CRAP!  Let’s review, shall we?

(1) This week we learn that Bonnie’s witch ancestor buried Silas alive, to punish him for planning to use HER cure for immortality spell on ONE other woman.  And yet, the Scooby Gang somehow believes there’s enough of this cure for all the vampires in the world?

Damon eye roll

(2) Professor Shady Douche claims he got this entire idea for the Journey to Rescue Silas from a  . . . hallucination he had of his Crazy Dead Witch Wife?  And no finds that the least bit disturbing / odd?

now im crazy gg plotholes

(3) The “Good” Professor boldly admits that route to the cure involves THREE massacres, not the two he’s already brought about.  And NONE of these people, who have just been brought to a deserted island . . . where no one can hear you scream . . . is the least bit worried, that they’ve been brought here not because they have some big rock in their pants, or a gnarly tattoo, or a nice ass, or a nosebleed problem . . . but because they are PIGS FOR SLAUGHTER?

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And, finally (4) any plan that involves Poor Man’s Benjamin Linus protecting the increasingly volatile Bonnie Smoke Monster from erupting hot lava all over Canada, just seems doomed to fail from the get-go.

what have i done

But hey, what do I know?  I’m just the lowly recapper, right?

nodding oh yeah


Two Vamps and a Stefan . . .

Damon’s Lady Troubles render him unusually incapable of snark this week.  Fortunately, Rebekah hops right in to the role of comic relief, lobbing zingers, left and right, mostly at her favorite target  . . . Elena.  From her wry determination that Elena was the only one who brought nothing to the table, when it came to the Scooby Gang’s quest for the cure (though, it could be argued that, since carrying a headstone requires only one vampire, not two, Rebekah, herself was equally useless) . . .

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 . . . to her later insistence that she saved Elena from the flying spear of an angry native, because she wanted the perky brunette’s death to be EPIC, Rebekah had me chuckling multiple times throughout the episode.

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Oh, and let’s not forget her wise recognition of Damon’s ASS-ets . . .

damon approves

I also related very much to Rebekah’s obvious fear, as the group sat at the Blair Witch Campfire that night, of things going bump in the night.  Many would argue that an All-Powerful Original Vampire shouldn’t fear lesser supernatural creatures, like ghosts and dumb natives.

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But I’m personally terrified of spiders and cockroaches, so I certainly can’t fault her for that . . .

Plus, it gave her a nice excuse to cozy up close to Stefan, a union I fully support.

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In addition to being funny, Rebekah also appears to be the Voice of Reason in this episode, when she reminds the rest of the Scooby Gang, that they are all just as evil murderous monsters as she is . . . killing anyone and everything that gets in the path of the people she loves.  So, why don’t they all just cut the crap, and work together?

trust me yes

And work together is precisely what Stefan, Rebekah, and Elena ultimately decide to do . . . after Damon, JerBear and Bonnie disappear, and Wanna Be Ben Linus makes off with their precious headstone . . .

Gravestone Eyes

“Smell ya later, losers!”

Elena even offers Rebekah back her “Originals Take a Nap” Dagger, as a sort of peace offering.

happy elena

I mean, it’s not like they have any other options. We interrupt the I Guess NOT Everybody Loves Elena After All Show, to bring you . . .

Klaus in a Box

Back in Mystic Falls, our loveable Box inhabitant gets his very first visitor, Tyler.  (Welcome back, Tyler!)  At first, they just growl and snarl at one another a bit, and exchange “I killed yo mama / yo brudda jokes.”

tyler points

Tyler smugly notes that, once his Scooby pals get The Cure, they will use it to “humanize” Klaus, and break the sire line.  This way, they can kill him, without subsequently murdering everyone in the cast.  Look at you, Tyler. . . a few months as a hybrid, and already you are an Expert in Vampire Mythology And Other Things Completely Unknown to the Rest of the World.

2 3 tyler scratch

(Except, a certain in-the-works spinoff tells us all, this isn’t actually going to happen.  So, thanks for playing, Tyler.  Better luck next time.)

Then, Caroline pops over to do a little happy house cleaning.  I liked very much how her version of disposing of Kol’s dead corpse was putting a blanket over it.  That’s how I handle most of the stains in my house, so I can relate.

3 3 caroline petrovadiaries

When Klaus tries to appeal to Caroline’s good will for a Get Out of Box Free Card, she scoffs at the idea, insisting that Klaus “is not worth the calories she burns” yelling at him.

calories

Huh?  Since when does Vampire Barbie not like to burn calories?  Don’t all girls like to burn calories?  Are vampires even capable of burning calories, considering they are . . . you know . . . dead . . . and stuff?

So, many questions.   Unfortunately, we won’t have time to answer any of them, because, the minute Caroline finishes speaking Klaus stakes Caroline, and bites her neck, rendering her unconscious, and, prospectively doomed to death by werewolf venom poison.

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It looks like someone should have created a smaller Klaus Box . . . BONNIE!

bonnie kol

So, now Caroline is dying . . . again . . . and it’s shades of the last time Caroline was dying from a werewolf bite.  Except, this time, instead of sort of / kind of compelling Tyler to do it, this time Klaus “bites” the bullet, no pun intended, and does the dirty work himself . . .

bloody mouth

“Now, that was well worth the calories,” Klaus jokes.

(Stupid boys and their fast metabolisms.  They think it’s just soooooo easy to burn off a late night bite of Caroline . . .)

Tyler is horrified . . .  Caroline is on the Gilbert fainting couch, looking really pretty for a near-death girl.  Tyler begins to bargain out of desperation, “If you save her, I’ll be your b*tch again,” he pleads hopefully.

3 9 gay for klaus 2

“Been there, sired that,” Klaus replies . . . more or less.

3 3 bored honour in

So, Tyler carries Caroline home to die in peace . . . annnnd then he brings her back.

carrying car

(Now, that’s what I call a good workout!)

too hot tyler

Tyler leaves Caroline to die in front of Klaus, which had to be a tough thing for him to do, on multiple levels.  For one thing, there is no guarantee (at least in Tyler’s mind) that Klaus will save her.  So, there’s a very good chance, he will return to the Gilbert’s house to find her dead.  For another,  Tyler is basically leaving the woman he loves in the arms of another man, hoping that THAT man’s love will be enough to allow her to continue living.  AWKWARD!

scared tyler

From a character development perspective, I kind of wish the producers lingered on Tyler’s face for just a few brief moments, after he “dropped Caroline off.”  I think it would have added an extra layer of poignancy to the scene.  But unfortunately for Tyler, this storyline ended up not really being about him at all . . .

3 12 mad tyler

Like with Damon’s scenes this week, Klaus’ and Caroline’s “moment” was more notable for the brilliant acting displayed during it, than for the writing that made up the scene itself.  I’ve never really considered myself much of a Klaus fangirl (waves at blogger pal, Amy / Imaginary Men).  However, there’s just something about his Angry!Cry that just melts my heart to mush, every time I see it . . .

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And Angry!Cry was in full force as the dying Caroline dangled the carrot of The Redemptive Power of Love in front of his face.  “I’ve caught myself wishing I could forget all the horrible things you’ve done,” Caroline says, in one labored breathe.  “Anyone capable of love, is capable of being saved,” she says in another.

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Girlfriend is like a Life-sized Dying Hallmark Card . . .

But it worked . . . on Klaus, anyway . . . who Angry!Cried his bloody wrist to Caroline’s lips, just moments before she took her last breath . . .

saving

3 11 klaroline savior

Deja-vu?

Back at Lost and Found Island . . .

Jer Bear gets kidnapped by (I think) the axe murdering Johnny Depp, who tried to kill him, earlier in the episode . . .

captured jer

“You’re not really Johnny Depp!  Liar!”

Bonnie Smoke Monster makes some . . . wait for it . . . Black Smoke.

black smoke bonnie

Damon wanders off to sulk, and gets temporarily killed by a (hot?) vampire hunter, as punishment for being overly broody . . .

got to be kidding

Professor Evil drags new hostage Jer Bear and Bonnie off into the sunset to find Silas.

gangs all here

But at least he’s taken that ridiculous flashlight hat off his head . .

stupid flashlight

He looks like the forgotten cast member of The Village People.

Ruh-roh . . .

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Next week, on The Vampire Diaries, meet Hot Vaughn: Vampire Hunter Extraordinaire.  Here’s hoping he lets us see HIS Hunter Tattoo, before the hour is up . . .

Tune in next time to find out who!  Until then, Fangbangers!

waves

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

9 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

9 responses to “I Know What You Did Last Silas . . . – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Into the Wild”

  1. East Coast Captain

    Hmm…this Vaughn is listed as a ”tough as hell” vampire hunter yeah sure like Connor was ”highly trained” killing machine when he got his butt killed by a newbie Vaughn will be no different when he dies pathetically and trust me he will. I heard he was supposed to reinforce Damon´s love for Elena or something I think.

    So the gang believes there will be enough cure for all of them? Laughable. This is called Vampire Diaries for a reason.

    Damon is more the one with the daddy issues since he could never live up to Giuseppe´s expectations but that´s life or unlife in his case. Someone asked who was Giuseppe´s favorite because the favorited is always the one who the parent is more hard on…Stefan worked hard, got high grades and was never a trouble maker Damon on the other hand but that´s irrelevant since Papa Salvatore shot them both in cold blood.

    I think Bonnie might die this season she will attempt to bring back Silas and will die in the process either that or Damon becomes human something like that.

    Great review.

    • Andre

      Do you really think Bonnie will die this season? I mean who will be the show’s magical plot device then?

      I think you have a good point about the name of the show and the cure. It, again, makes me wonder why they even bother with this? Who will actually believe that they are all going to be humans?
      Especially considered that they already promote the Klaus spin-off.

  2. Long time without comment, the barrier of language and all. 🙂

    Damon is angry and scared. He want break the sirebond, but he think if Elena becomes human again , all those feelings she has for him, will disappear. He don´t want to put himself in this situation again, Shane is right: “leaves the island”, he said to him. I would do that, I would fly to Paris and compel a bunch of top models to spend a whole month of sex, blood and rock and roll with me. But I am not Damon Salvatore and I am not in love of Elena Gilbert.
    He will stay, and will take the bullets. But not to see how Elena becomes human and choose Stefan again (which is what Damon thinks will happen). He is not capable to put himself in this situation again. I never seen Damon so broken.
    And that leads me at that night, the night of the Damon´s secret. And I know you thinks different, because we discussed this before, but I think -like Plec said- that was a “moment”. I add: he was drunk. I tell you, girl, when I get drunk, I miss the most weird things in the world. He was vulnerable, he was drunk, get emotional, you name it.
    I’m not saying he don´t miss being human. He does. – Also, he became more “human” since Season 1 – but I say, I believe Damon don´t will take the cure, because being vampire is awsome. He knows it, he revels in it, he enjoy it more than everybody in the damn show.
    More than Klaus, Klaus revels in the slaughter, Stefan is a full ripper, Damon is a lover. He is a eternal stud, he has a nice behind, he starts to undressing and we all stay for the show.
    He is young, sexy and super strong, who would want become a human?
    Think about it. Only a teenager as Elena -and the most part of the fandom- can overestimates get old, be sick, get married and have children. Believe me, I had all of this, -some things twice-, and not worth it, we -the humans- do those things BECAUSE we aren´t inmortals.

    So…maybe we have a Damon who don’t want to live up to anyone’s expectations, even if that anyone is Elena.
    Maybe he is capable to die for her, and nobody doubts about his love for her, (and that ocean is deep) but he is a vampire and he embraced his own self, long time ago.
    Personally, I don´t want Delena happens in human terms. I prefer Damon terms: both vampires

    Of course Plec and Co. will KILL ME and will force Damon to take the cure or something cruel like that. Oh, the angst!

    Sorry for all the mistakes, I use a translator.

  3. serendipity

    Hi Jules! LOL for your Lost-characterisation! So true, though Bex is totally Shannon to me 🙂

    I have a question: why are all the vampires wearing coats and scarves and hats? Aren’t they supposed to not feel the cold? Yet Jeremy, one of the few humans, is standing around half naked? Or does imperviousness to cold come with the Hunter package? LOL for Bonnie fondling JerBear in front of his sister, both of her love-interests, and their revenge sex lover (whew, what a complicated picture 😉

    Speaking of Bex… She was awesome this week. LOL for her ogling Damon’s behind (and why was Stefan actually laughing about that comment of hers anyway? He only got lumped in the we-got-the-rock-group with Bex herself, so technically there’s no reason for him to be there either :D)

    And I think it only seems as though their continuity is a bit off on Damon’s choices. You’re right that he confesses to missing his humanity after Rose’s death, yet now he says can’t think of anything more miserable? It’s no doubt true that he thinks Elena won’t love him anymore/as much, if she returns to her human self, but that in itself shouldn’t be a reason for him NOT to turn human himself, if he really wants to (like Stefan does: he doesn’t want it just for Elena, he mostly wants it for himself). But Damon is not like that: he might miss his humanity sometimes, but I don’t think he misses it enough to want it back. After all, he loves ‘being the eternal stud’, and as he told Elena: he revels in being a vampire: he enjoys it, he’s good at it. Book-Damon is the same, only more consistently so, because that guy never ever wanted to be human again. So Damon saying that he doesn’t want to be human makes it just about 100% more likely IMO that he will be the one turning human in the end.

    Because you’re right: there’s never going to be enough of the cure to ‘humanify’ more than one vampire. If the cure is meant for one, why do they think there’s more than enough to go around? I’m thinking Damon will somehow be forced or tricked into taking it, since he’s the only one who doesn’t want it (apart from Klaus. Do we actually know how Caroline feels? Tyler doesn’t want it either, I guess, ‘cause he’ll still be a werewolf). And if Damon is cured, that will break the sirebond just as surely as Elena being human again, and it would make a much more interesting story to see Damon struggle with being human. And it would indeed turn the show upside down.

    Since Shane seems to have lured just Bonnie and Jeremy with him to go find Silas, the third sacrifice has got to be either him killing himself (with the idea that Silas will wake him from the dead as well as his wife?), or else the ultimate sacrifice is the Bennet witch (to be killed by the Hunter), or the Hunter himself (to be killed by the Bennet witch)? It can’t be 12 vampires, because he hasn’t got that many (unless he kills Rebekah with the Original stake? That might count).

    Talk to you next week, Jules! Have a nice day 🙂

  4. Andre

    Well first on my thoughts on your recap and then on my thoughts on this episode.

    Wait, first on the promo. Don’t worry, I am on holiday this week and the next so I will be able to provide high quality shirtless Jeremy pics.
    And speaking of shirtless. If you want to I can go back to season 2 episodes and try to get some of shirtless Tyler 😉

    Ok, now your recap:

    I admit I am surprised, I had expected this one to be way more Delena centric but it turned out to be quite critical of the Delena this episode as well as the Klaroline. To which I have only one thing to say:

    You know the show’s title was totally inappropriate. “Into the Wild?” Since when does western media refer to wilderness when you are barely of the coast and on an island with forgotten mines and houses?
    Was that a stupid reference to “Into the Wild” with Emile Hirsch?

    Well the “Indian” is of course not Johnny Depp but I think the face paint is also ridiculous. But not as muchas Depp’s. One he, justifiably, received criticism for:
    http://www.racialicious.com/2012/05/02/johnny-depp-as-tonto-im-still-not-feeling-honored/

    Let’s just take what the author said about it:
    “I think, Mr. Depp, when you said you hoped to “mess around with the stereotype of the American Indian,” you actually meant “completely play into the stereotype of the American Indian,” because I’m really not seeing anything subversive or new about your language or this mess of a portrayal. If this is your “salute” to Native Americans, I’m really afraid to watch the actual movie.”

    But back to the topic at hand:
    The costume is ridiculous and the cliché of the “Indian” being a mystical guardian and protector… hm, where have I heard that before?
    Oh yeah:

    I am not gonna go any deeper on that because I gave up hope that the average TVD writer even has the knowledge to look for any deeper than the common media tropes.

    “Now, where was Johnny Depp, last week, when I was getting my ass handed to me at Baby Vamp’s house?”
    Yeah, this was also a “retcon” of a sorts. Remember what Elijah could do back in season 2?

    Notice that back than Damon was still “young” and now he is suddenly “old.”

    Oh and the pebbles of Elijah (go to 4:05):

    “Hey . . . you know what . . . while we are waiting for something exciting to happen”

    Yeah it was either boring or nauseating to me what they did. And considered how much the show copies other shows anyway, maybe it is true that they copied Lost. I mean Damon is just as dysfunctional as Sawyer is and Elena just as stupid for falling for this guy.

    “Now, I like obligatory shots of Steven R. McQueen’s naked flesh as much as the next girl . . .

    But could someone please tell me why they waited until the crew got to FREEZING COLD LOST ISLAND for Bonnie to start snapping pictures of JerBear’s hot bod?”

    I can:
    They had to show off Steven’s body and this way they didn’t need to make his nipples hard, because that is one of the main tropes this show has. It definitely isn’t storytelling and the whole thing with the map was a convenient excuse. Had they come up with anything for Stefan or Damon that would just sound too ridiculous even for this show. Or maybe Steven has it in his contract to show his body:

    But anyway, Steven’s body was a good piece of work and worth looking at no doubt but still, and I think you would agree, you can really do better with showing off bodies and finding better ways to explain why a character is shirtless. To take a prominent example:

    And, at least in my mind, if you only watch something because of hot bodies you don’t need to waste your time with a teen show. Just watch this:

    or this:

    or this:

    (if you don’t want to wait just go to 0:44, who needs to hear him talk anyway)

    or this:

    or if you want it full, watch this:

    Or this, if you want a full movie:

    And don’t tell me you wouldn’t enjoy that. 😉

    “As for the theory that JerBear’s hunter tattoo is not a map at all, but a “spell to awaken Silas,” that theory ends up pretty much being a dead end too.”
    Wow, I guess you were just as surprised about that turn of event as I was, weren’t you? Where were you on the 0-10 scale? -3 Like I was? 😀

    The whole body thing is for me one of the two reasons why Damon is given so much screentime, the other is that he is the embodiment of the Byronic hero.
    I wouldn’t say that he was never ashamed of who he was, his little confession back in the days suggest so. But to be honest the writing of this show is so fickle and inconsistent that at one time in the show both of us and neither could be right about that. However I still think your inner Delena got the best of you when you stated “he taught her to love herself, which, in turn, helped her to realize that she loved him.” When exactly did he teach her anything about loving herself? In that one stupid scene in episode 7? Come on.

    The only reason I guess that I didn’t find Damon’s statement about not wanting to be human confusing for two reasons:
    1) It was clear that they had to have unnecessary Delena drama, hey what else is there? Awesome dates? Getting to know each other? Surely not.
    2) I was too occupied in holding back my vomit at this useless crap.

    Yes it is totally OOC for Damon but it fits perfectly to the shows goal of creating drama and portraying the love of these two bullshitters as epic. So I think you are totally right to suggest that they did a retcon. As always I will never call that epic, because then I would be rewarding the writers for this crap. I stay to my opinion: If you cannot work with what you yourself have written, stop writing.

    It actually makes sense that Damon doesn’t want Elena to become human because she only started choosing him once she became a vampire and this was totally rule inconsistent and out of nowhere in the first place no matter how much Delenas want to justify it. Even Forewood back in season 2 was more believable due to the whole Lazarus effect working on Caroline but in Delenas case, well some witch must have cast a spell. Isn’t it always a witch on this show?

    “And, while we’re on the subject, shouldn’t this so-called sire bond, have immediately caused Elena to shun the cure, once she realized that her taking it would displease Damon?”

    Yes, definitely. You are totally right. But apparently the sire-bond is in the box of discarded things now, or for the time being until they need it as a convenient plot device again. This stuff is also the reason why this whole Delena thing and romanticizing of Damon is so stupid. He never set her free, she is still chained to him and so the whole stuff should loom about them like a Damocles sword. But noooooo, now it is true love again. Gosh I need an anvil:

    That’s better.

    ” And I was kind of bummed, when Elena stopped him.”
    Seriously? You expected something different than her ruining everything again?

    “I don’t know about you guys, but for me, there was something about Shane’s flashback stories that struck me as a little bit . . . what’s the word I’m looking for here . . . oh yeah, FULL OF CRAP!”
    No one could have said it better.

    “But I’m personally terrified of spiders and cockroaches, so I certainly can’t fault her for that”
    But you are not over 1000 years old are you?

    “In addition to being funny, Rebekah also appears to be the Voice of Reason in this episode, when she reminds the rest of the Scooby Gang, that they are all just as evil murderous monsters as she is . . . killing anyone and everything that gets in the path of the people she loves.”
    If just the writers would see it the way you do. But if they do, there is nothing they can or want to do about it. 😦

    “Elena even offers Rebekah back her “Originals Take a Nap” Dagger, as a sort of peace offering.”
    Sorry wrong. It wasn’t the dagger, it was the indestructible stake.

    “Except, a certain in-the-works spinoff tells us all, this isn’t actually going to happen. So, thanks for playing, Tyler. Better luck next time.”
    Yeah, I though the same. More on that later.

    “From a character development perspective, I kind of wish the producers lingered on Tyler’s face for just a few brief moments, after he “dropped Caroline off.” I think it would have added an extra layer of poignancy to the scene. But unfortunately for Tyler, this storyline ended up not really being about him at all.”
    That would have been better, but I never thought for a moment that this whole charade was really about Tyler and Caroline. It had Klaroline written all over it and this stupid scene with Caroline talking about how Klaus deserves to be saved was definitely to be taken serious in the writers minds. No way had they used it just as a way to catch Klaus, if it would be just a ruse the episode would have shown Tyler waiting outside. Also they clearly cannot come up with something new.
    And this whole saving Klaus stuff was the second stuff that nearly had me vomiting.

    “Like with Damon’s scenes this week, Klaus’ and Caroline’s “moment” was more notable for the brilliant acting displayed during it, than for the writing that made up the scene itself.”
    Yeah, what was up with that, I know the writers try to force Klaroline and Delena on us, but do they have to do it in such a bad way?

    “Deja-vu?”
    Not only that. The whole stuff was reminiscent of Damon’s lame ass excuse for murdering Jeremy in season 2 and how Elena just forgave him the way Caroline did now. Because that is what I think it was, the whole bad boy saved by the right girl trope. But in this case this is simply downright crazy. Would they write it like the Joker and Harley Quinn or Spike and Druesilla, fine but not like this.
    This whole stuff with justifying Klaus’ actions because he was hurt is bullshit. Just today someone I knew accused me of being racist and quit the friendship because I didn’t agree with his stand and told him flatout that there are no races in the biological sense and told him that I didn’t agree with him throwing all Europeans into one pot. Did I react like Klaus did because I was hurt? No. And I am already a bit choleric, but still I didn’t act like that. Being hurt is no justification for such rampages

    “Jer Bear gets kidnapped by (I think) the axe murdering Johnny Depp, who tried to kill him, earlier in the episode . . .”
    No, that was another guy. Shame on you Julie, these two actors looked nothing alike, except for the ridiculous face paint.

    Ok, now to what I thought of this episode:

    This episode was an excellent example on how not to write an episode or if you are totally over the hill and ridiculous and inconsistent anyway, at least do it with style. By making it a Muscial. 😉

    This will mostly “address” the writers, so to say.

    They had in the intro the “unlikely” alliances again and that over a scene of Rebekah and Stefan kissing. Yeah that is an unlikely alliance. Since when is it unlikely to form an alliance with someone you used to bone?
    Imagine how much better the show would be if the protagonist would be called Tracy instead of Elena and if the writers are so obsessed with bygone decades they could just let it play back then and narrate it in a language none of your target group understands:

    And the cure/Silas was hidden on the world’s most obscure desolate island? Why do I have the feeling that there would be plenty of islands more obscure and desolate than this one? Oh, yeah: Because it’s a fact. This island can be reached by these “boats” they have so at least some people must have been there, and there were.

    If you want actual drama and action on a show where the protagonist is not gonna die, make your females actually fight. Don’t make Rebekah stop, make her break Elena’s jaw. That bitch deserves it anyway with her attitude.
    You know back in season 1 I thought Elena had the potential to become a real woman. Well look how wrong I was, she is just a bratty little girl, except for the violence she is the female version of Klaus. Maybe that is why he gets a spin-off, I mean who doesn’t love to watch a whiny little bitch all the time right?

    And when you want a character to be central to a storyline, make her actually act in it and don’t come with one useless relative after the other. And try to use some better reason for an old curse than the old wrath of a woman scorned story.

    Side note: Remember how back in season 2 you had the comment that Bonnie and Jeremy might be related? Well suddenly the hunters were created by Bonnie’s ancestors/relatives, so Bonnie and Jeremy are related in a metaphorical sense.

    And if the cure for vampirism was to kill Silas the writers shouldn’t state it so early. Why do they think the cure would work on vampires? Silas is only immortal, there is no reason to think that he is a vampire especially not with the buried alive stuff, because then his body would shut down and he couldn’t take the cure. On the other hand these writers are unoriginal, or are made to be, so Silas might just as well be a vampire. The tattoo seems to suggest this as well with the Nosferatu like monster in it.

    When you want people to believe a plot line than don’t release news that clearly show that it won’t happen. Either the episode was made before the news of the Spin-off was released or they were just incompetent. Every fan would know off it and therefore know that all of Klaus’ descendents won’t be cured either way. If they stick with the plans for the spin-off that is, but this writing is so fickle and inconsistent, they might just as well not do it.

    And in such a case remember what you created you stupid writers. When Tyler is cured he would technically still be a werewolf, should that happen and if Klaus is cured he might be as well. So maybe they would be more even physically but Klaus could still kill the rest.

    Also the writers shouldn’t have scenes were it is obvious what they will be about long before they show it themselves. The moment Klaus mentioned Tyler’s mom I knew it would end in Tyler messing it up. And who here believed that the whole thing was not just for Klaroline drama? That fits perfectly, since they could make no drama with them in the last two episodes of course the two couldn’t be in it.
    And it also fits that suddenly Karoline realizes what a monster Klaus is. Of course it was only temporary.
    But again, they could have made Tyler’s and Klaus yo mamma parody better, again by making it a musical:

    Furthermore, don’t write inconsistent stories. If these miners bled themselves dry how could legends have spread?

    Also please get at least one sentence to explain why exactly does Shane believe in magic.

    Also pay attention who is saying what to whom:
    So Elena gets “the chance to see them again”? Seriously? They have her say that to Jeremy? The last time I counted his number of people he actually loved and lost was higher than hers. But hey, she is the Rachel Berry of the Vampire Diaries and so of course her feelings are more important.
    Why don’t you just say so that she is the nicest one in town:

    Quit using overused stereotypes:
    The Indian wears modern clothing but uses bow and arrow instead of much more effective wooden bullets… Why do I think that this is a cliche?

    Stop writing like bad Teen horror movies.
    “Island lore”? A cabin in the woods? Wasn’t there this talk about the “most obscure desolate island?” And what sort of teenagers spend their spring break there?
    Horror movie cliché if there ever was one.

    Remember, that these are vampires:
    And aren’t vampires supposedly creatures of the dark? Shouldn’t they have nightvision?

    I had to skip that scene with Elena declaring her true love for Damon? What is wrong with these writers?
    Suddenly she loves him out of nowhere… that is bad storytelling and makes it non-authentic. What is there about this?
    And all this “angsting” shit, if she wants Damon to look at him she should just sing him a song:

    When you have a vampire who is called Rebekah and is more than 1000 years old at least don’t make her scared of ghosts. Not with ghosts like the ones in this show.

    If you want your powerful witches to have meaning don’t make all of the ones you introduce powerful. The third white witch so far and she was a “powerful witch”… is every named white witch on this show powerful?

    Don’t always forget what your supes can do you idiots:
    Vampire supersniffing seems to have failed again.
    Connor was killed by Elena and suddenly one of the five could overpower Damon and break his neck?

    Don’t write about things you don’t understand:
    An extreme amount of mystical energy, energy that doesn’t occur in nature… If she was simply referring to the amount of energy these writers once again proved their low education. I am sure there is at least one completely natural event with more than enough energy:

    And the hybrids weren’t freed by Tyler and they didn’t put their faith in him because he is a leader or anything. He subdued them by physical force and used their “wolf side” to get them to do what he wanted. That is not freeing or leadership.

    If you have a smart professor don’t make him act totally stupid. Not only does Shane have no protection against vampires it also never occurs to him that Silas might be lying?

    Don’t make the ones that speak the truth and have realistic reactions stand out as liars and delusion:
    Shane’s words about Damon were all 100% true. He is a maniac.
    And this lame ass stuff with Damon is not about deserving it is the cold hard truth vampire + human = disaster.

    When you let characters state that others are just as bad as they are, then do show it. Would the writers at least have the sense to show that the main people are all equally bad, but instead they cast their behavior as right.

    Klaus is hurt so a part of him is human and so he is worth saving…. Wow, this show is really….
    If it’s over the hill anyway at least do it right:

    Do not portray crazy bitches like Elena who cannot be trusted as heroes. Seriously, Elena is completely unreliable when it comes to it. After all, when was the last time she didn’t give in even to the simplest threats and bargains?

    That is basically what I think about this episode, and like I wrote in my e-mail it was the most anti-climatic episode ever.

  5. uniquegirl17

    Hi Jules!!!
    I loved this episode, it was soooo funny 😀 Seriously, give me more Rebekah! Fabulous recap, as usual ^^ Might I just say that I LOVED Stefan and Rebekah together!! They looked so sweet, especially when Rebekah scooted over to Stefan and held his hand when she was afraid.. AWWWW ❤ Not to mention the amazing chemistry they have. I totally prefer Stefan this way, he's more snarky and quick to smile with Blondie Bex. Ugghh, please don't go back to Elena.. BORING AS HELL 😛

    Anyways, the main point here is not about them though. It's about Damon, as always 😀 Oooh, my heart broke for Damon this episode 😦

    Personally, I don't think that the writers portrayed Damon's choice of not wanting to take the cure wrongly this week.
    I think that a part of Damon doesn't want Elena to take the cure because he fears Elena would leave him for Stefan. That's why he wanted to kill Shane. There's two sides warring inside him right now. He wants the truth, and yet he fears it more than anything in the world.Then again, he's not a selfish person, so I also think he is preparing himself for the heartbreak when Elena turns human and rejects him like before. So, he does what he does best, he pushes Elena away, so if she does reject him, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much anymore.

    Trust me, I really think he wants to take the cure to embrace humanity again, but if Elena picks Stefan again and he becomes human, where does that leave him? Sure, you can say that at least he'll eventually die, unlike a vampire. But at least a vampire can switch off his humanity, right? But humans get to feel all these emotions .Plus, I don't think that he wouldn't lurveeee Elena if she gets old and dies -__- Maybe that's just a cover to push her away even more… who knows? Maan, I just wish Elena would be like Season 1 Elena that saw through his pretenses right way =,=

    Haha, sorry for the rambling. My thoughts got waaayyy out of hand sometimes.. okay, I take that back. ALL the time, especially concerning my lovely and sweet Damon Salvatore 😀
    Toodles, Julie !

    • uniquegirl17

      Haha, sorry but it’s me again 😀
      I just wanted to post a comment on YT that I feel sums up everything that I’ve been trying, and failing, to say on the above comment.
      “Damon will always love Elena. He’s just plain terrified right now. Everyone is coming at him, reminding him that Elena is sired, that she wont, and could never love him once she’s human again. They’re making him feel less than unworthy..so much so that his insecurities are making him believe it. So what does he do, he becomes cruel and pushes Elena away. Because I believe Damon wants that life Elena is asking him to share with her, he just doesn’t think he can truly have it.”

      My thoughts? He just doesn’t want to get his hopes up, and then that hope is shattered once again. Like I read in twilight (oh, the olden days!), “If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing..then it would kill me.” …or something like that. Or in Damon’s situation, if he let himself fantasize being human with Elena, and then Elena picked Stefan over him, of course he would be crushed, shattered, broken and all the other similar adjectives! Even more so if he became a human for Elena, the turns out it was all just a waste!
      Okay, TVDfeelings 😀 My baadd…

  6. ROFLMAO! So many good zingers in here! *still secretly wishing I grow up to be as funny a recapper as you* Life-size Dying Hallmark Card! Cast comparison to LOST (we’ll never get a Hurley–only the ‘beautiful people’ live in Mystic Falls!)–hafta admit, I compared the Zombie Headshrinkers to smoke monsters myself–maybe your mind is rubbing off on me! BTW, I had to look it up, but Mr. SHOULDERBLADE was another dude–there were two of those Zombie Headshrinkers on the Night Bus (Mavik and Massak). Guess we’ll have to wait and see how many of those Deppy freaks have been around through the years! Maybe Damon’s dilemma is he doesn’t want to grow old and wrinkly together when they could stay endless attractive young people who can have limitless sex forever! *sigh* And all we have to believe this whole Immortal Witch/Cure thing is Shady Shane’s ‘word’ and recounting of a pain-riddled, weed-trippy dream sequence of his dead main squeeze?! Puleez! I think the Journey to the Center of the Earth is gonna be a giant BUST! (or at the very least, not what it’s been promo’d to be!) Great recap!

  7. imaginarymen

    Oooh! I hope when people Google “Klaus” and “Fangirl” they come here and find ME!! ;-0 My mama and I are so excited for “The Originals” that we are counting the days until we never have to watch Bonnie or her Bangs of Doom and Nosebleeds of Terror ever again!!!

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