The Boy Who Cried “Dead” (and the Wolf who Cried “Gone”) – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Down the Rabbit Hole”

life sucks get a helmet


Hola, Fangbangers!  This week on TVD, someone DIED again . . . but maybe not permanently . . . it’s kind of hard to tell.

don't die jer

elena and jer


elena stabs jer

2 22 jer alaric uzmama

Someone left Mystic Falls forever    for a REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME     for a few episodes, at LEAST!

tyler points

And someone RETURNED FROM ETERNAL EXILE, at least until her NEXT eternal exile!

the kat thank me brought cure

This is a big deal, right?  I mean these sorts of things don’t happen every week . . .

must be thurs

OK, you got me.  They kind of do happen every week in Mystic Falls.  But still!   When someone dies, they usually stay dead!

not dead forget your mistakes

When someone leaves, they usually stay gone!

shakes head

When someone returns, they usually stick around.

no no no its delena love

All these things could mean big changes for the show, as we know it.  RIGHT?

stefan shrug

No?  Oh well!  On with the recap, anyway  .  . .

[As always, special thanks to Andre, who will undoubtedly miss screencapping JerBear’s abs, just as much as I miss writing about them!]

Skin Care with Damon Salvatore



When we last left Damon Salvatore, he was dead . . .

got to be kidding

No, seriously.  I don’t mean like “undead.”  I mean, that vampire hunter guy snapped his neck, and he wasn’t breathing.  (See what I mean about deaths being unusually passe and temporary, on this show?)

Anywhoo, Damon’s alive again now . . .

3 8 dance

Except, he’s got a noose around his neck, and is being humiliatingly dragged around Lost Island by the guy who “killed” him . . .

soap dish smash

These two are flirting with one another, something fierce.  The Vampire Hunter (who’s name is “Vaughn” by the way), compares Damon to a mosquito, an adorable pet name, if I’ve ever heard one.



He also tells Damon that he’s been watching him, and all his friends closely (Though, apparently, not closely enough to know that Damon doesn’t give two craps about Bonnie.); and that he plans to use him to wake and kill the Infamous Silas.

In return, Damon remarks on Vaughn’s nifty new tattoo (which apparently sprouted new wings around the same time THIS happened) .  . .

defans jeremy hulk

tattoo eee

Then, the eternal stud boasts of his own, supple, ink-free, skin.

know tatts


Oh, just get a room already, you two .  . . or at least a nice hole in the ground!

We interrupt this Very Sexy Infomercial for another “Previously on The Vampire Diaries” phone conversation . . .  Take it away, Elena . . .

elena on phone

“Like previously .  .  . on The Vampire Diaries . . .  we all went to this crazy island, where dudes wearing dreadlocks and white face paint occasionally try to  stake us and shoot us with arrows.  But you and Tyler didn’t get to come, because you were  both busy getting hit on / almost murdered by Klaus.  And then, like,  Damon and I TOTALLY got into this big fight, because I want to take The Cure.  And he like . . . doesn’t?  And then he disappeared, and I thought it was because he was mad at me.  But I think he’s like actually in a lot of danger?  So, um, anyway, even though last week we said we had no cell phone reception here, and now it seems like we lied . . . would you mind going to Klaus’ house, picking up his sword map, and sending us pictures of it?  Because we totally came to this remote and dangerous island without any plan, whatsoever?”

caroline on phone

“What?  Elena?  I can’t hear you.  This is a really bad connection.  *makes fake static noises into the phone*  Ohhh, I think I’m losing you.  Gotta go. Have fun failing to get The Cure.  Byeeeeeee!”

elena on phone 2

“I can’t believe that b*tch hung up on me, on MY SHOW!”

Then, Caroline goes to Klaus’ house, so she can fondle his big ancient sword, which isn’t nearly as fun as it sounds . . .

need my help 1

need my help 2


“Thanks so much for your help!  Here, have a rock!”

Poor Not-Johnny Depp . . .

johnny depp guy

depp tonto

He went through all this trouble to capture Bonnie and JerBear, and all he got for his troubles was a DAMN ROCK!


Shane said the rock . . . like . . . had some sh*t like that.  Bull honky!  It looked like a plain old rock to me!  And it certainly didn’t help keep Not Johnny Depp from ending up like this . . .

dead guy

happy sad

Sorry Not Johnny Depp guy!  Unlike the rest of the characters on this show, I’m thinking you are probably going to STAY dead.  But hey, look on the bright side, at least you don’t have to shell out extra cash for a fancy gravestone!  You already have a rock!

Gravestone Eyes

Aramaic for Dummies

Back in Mystic Falls, Tyler, Caroline and Klaus are having a great time surfing for porn on the internet . . .

more pictures

pictures of jer bear

“Hey, look!  It’s Andre’s screencaps!”

 . . .  and taking turns rubbing Klaus’ big ancient sword . . .

holding sword

Tyler: “I think my sword is bigger.”

Caroline: “Trust me, it isn’t.”

jerbear sexy

“Hey Caroline, don’t YOU want to hold my sword for a little while?”

hold sword

Tyler: “I’m not going to lie, this is making me feel a bit uncomfortable.”

Actually, Tyler and Caroline are using Klaus’ surprise knowledge of Aramaic to translate the sword.  They immediately call Rebekah on the phone to share the intel with her, figuring she’s on Team Scooby, anyway, so why not.  But then Klaus drops a not particularly surprising, because we all pretty much knew this from the beginning bombshell on them, which makes them wish they used cell phone minutes a bit more wisely.  As it turns out, there’s only enough vampire cure for ONE PERSON!


Oh no!  If Vampire Klaus Barbie gets to the cure first, the Scooby Gang won’t be able to use it to .  . . SAVE ELENA!  Oh the humanity!

caroline cryin

damon soulful crying

stefan crying gif

crying jess

“I don’t know why I’m crying.  I’m not even on this show.”

So, I guess now, in the words of the Three Musketeers,  it’s all for one, and one for .  . . ONE?

Meanwhile, back on Lost Island . . .

Stefan and Elena – Friends Forever . . . Literally

friends like that


Stefan and Elena share a nice platonic moment, during which Stefan admits that he still wants to grow old and eventually croak, even if that means never being able to insert his 160 + year old weiner (which might very well become instantly wrinkly, once he gets the cure) into Elena ever again.  Watching from afar, Rebekah doesn’t find this moment all that platonic . . .


rebekah heart

Poor Beks . . . she’s always a bridesmaid.  (But hey, at least she’s the bridesmaid that ends up getting laid in the coat closet at the wedding reception!)

shhhdamon beks memory


With her new knowledge about The Cure in tow, Rebekah cleverly separates Elena from Stefan, so that she can reveal to the latter her deep dark secret about  The Cure’s limitations.  She then asks Stefan if he’s going to end up giving the darn thing to Elena, anyway.  He can’t deny it, so she breaks his neck.  Ahhhh, young love . . . or, perhaps, I should say really, really, really  old love!

bitch mode activated

And just like that, another temporary death has rocked Mystic Falls.

Later, Elena comes to Stefan’s temporary death rescue, at which time he breaks for her the bad news about The Cure.  Elena’s response to this news is arguably more surprising than anything else that happens during the episode . . .

everyone deserve


2 15 surprise

WOAH!  Look who’s gone and become all self-aware on us!


All sarcasm aside, I was kind of proud of Elena, in this moment.  In past seasons, Elena has always been treated by the rest of the cast (except, maybe Rebekah) as a Delicate Flower, because she was a young fragile human, in a world of Old Dangerous Vampires, Werewolves, Witches and Whatevers.

damon gives elena flower

2 16 matt wtf face

“And what am I, chopped liver?”

But now, Elena is a vampire, who has committed murder.

killer headline

She has no greater claim on her humanity / right to The Cure than any other life-loving vampire on this show.  And the fact that she understands that, and is willing to own up to it, makes me a lot more sympathetic to her character, than I have been in recent episodes . . .

happy elena

In fact, Elena gets over the fact that she’s probably going to be a vampire for the rest of eternity, a lot quicker than one might suspect.  Instantly, she’s rushing toward the cave, dragging Stefan in tow, so that the pair can obtain the cure, and use it ON KLAUS!

klaus tums

“Not before I get my spinoff, b*tches!”

Things we do for love .  . .

provide for my


Also in the cave, Damon refuses to continue to be dragged around as Vaughn’s vampire puppy dog.


“I’ll let you off your leash, once you lift your leg and pee on the tree!”

Like the rest of the crew, thanks to Vaughn, he has also been blessed (or cursed, depending on the way you see things) with the knowledge that there is only one cure.  And while Vaughn’s idea to use the cure on SILAS, thereby preventing an impending apocalypse, even if it means all vampires shall STAY vampires for eternity, definitely seems like the better deal for Damon . . .

sexy delena 2

delena sex real

 . . . he’s still willing to risk all that, if it means making the woman he loves happy.  (Little does Damon know, Elena is TOTALLY willing to forgo the cure, if it means continuing to bone him for the rest of time, without Klaus constantly on their tail.)  So, Damon makes a move to beat the crap out of Vaughn, along with some help from a surprising source . . .

dont know my



crushing beks moonlight-dream

So what if they both end up totally getting their asses handed to them, by a mere HUMAN guest star, and end up passed out next to one another on the floor . . .



It’s the thought that counts, right!

Later, when Stefan and Elena come to Damon’s rescue, he agrees to bow out gracefully, and let Stefan keep the proverbial Hero Hat that fits his slightly large head so well.  Damon doesn’t really want Elena to have the cure, because he fears it will be the end of their relationship.  But he’s not going to inadvertently stand in the way of her obtaining it either . . .

love you damon

Further up in the cave, Elena encounters a familiar face . . . one that has no trouble whatsoever kicking her BUTT!

3 6 mad elena

“This  is sooooo not my episode!  I’m calling my agent.”

Golly gee!  I wonder who it could be?

It’s the CIRCLE OF LIFE and tattoo removal


Over in Nosebleed Bonnie land, Shane finds a Perfect Circle, and positively no one’s everyone’s favorite witch uses the shape as an excuse to fondle Jer Bear’s naked body, once again.  (Honestly, can you blame her?)

more fondle


JerBear: “But Bonnie, I thought you loved me for my mind?”

Bonnie: “Shut up and take off your pants, I have Very Important Witchy Work  to do!”

JerBear: “But the tattoo is only on my chest.”

Bonnie: *whistles awkwardly*

hot hand job

Bonnie: “Wow, I can feel your tattoo moving and growing.  The magic must be working.”

Jer Bear: *whistles awkwardly*

Bonnie must have really strong hands!  All it takes is a few fondles, and Jer Bear’s tattoo’s disappear, like he’s just had the Best Laser Treatment EVER!


“Thanks for the free tattoo removal.  You know, I also have this freckle on my left butt cheek that I never much cared for.  Do you think you could take that off too?”

Elsewhere, Vaughn’s tattoos disappear as well.  Unfortunately, no one had the foresight to take off HIS shirt, or this could have REALLY been a party!

shoot score

“This is total crap.  I’m calling my agent too!”

Knowing what a total unapologetic perv I am, I suspect a lot of you assumed that my favorite part of this episode was that the mere fact of Bonnie touching JerBear’s Man Parts caused an honest-to-goodness avalanche in the Silas Cave . . .

the show

But that’s not true at all!  My actual favorite part of the episode came a little later, when that same avalanche ended up paralyzing Professor Dumpy Dork, and the rest of the Scooby Gang left him to ROT!

scared shane

Now THAT was awesome!  Honestly, they should have done that about five episodes ago!

left to die

caroline laugh

clap for bonus

laughing dan

But then, JerBear has to go and ruin all that awesomeness, by putting his shirt back on.  LAME!

boo shirt back on

“I’m sorry!  My nipples got cold, OK?”

3 5 angry fixed at zero other nat and gace

Welcome back, Zombie Granny!

Bonnie knows she’s getting closer to Silas’ coffin when her Ghost Granny, who is suddenly sporting a SERIOUS case of the Crazy Eyes, pops up out of no where, and tells her that she should feed her blood to the rotted dead corpse . . .

crazy gram

“Hi sweetie!  Go kill yourself, OK?  Grandma knows best!”

Fortunately, JerBear, who’s seen more dead people in his lifetime than that kid from The Sixth Sense . . .


 . . . knows that Zombie Grams is nothing more than a figment of Bonnie’s Silas-controlled imagination.  He knows some sense into Bon-Bon, just in time for her to get stabbed in the back by that pesky Vampire Hunter Vaughn.

The Long(ish) Goodbye

With Bonnie out of commission, Klaus has earned his Get Out of Box Free Card, and can no return to the important work of Terrorizing the Cast of The Vampire Diaries Until His Spinoff Begins . . .

santa klaus

Not wanting Klaus to kill her boyfriend again, or chase him out of town for the 85,000th time, Caroline appeals to the Original Vampire’s “softer side,” by admitting to him that, like him, she too prefers her fangy, eternally youthful self, to the shallow, self-absorbed human brat she was back in Season 1 . . .

3 3 caroline petrovadiaries

3 2 caroline not prost - honorinrevenge

   . . . at least not anymore . . .

In return for this heartfelt admission, Klaus agrees to let Tyler take another multi-episode hiatus, before he goes and tries to kill him again.


Caroline: “Does this mean that Tyler gets a spinoff too?  It could be called Hungry Like a Hybrid?”

Klaus: “Don’t push your luck.”

Outside on the porch, Caroline and Tyler share a tearful, sweet, and possibly, but probably not, permanent, goodbye. . .


Tyler: “See you next season?”

Caroline: “Absolutely . . . well . . . unless the writers have given me another love interest by then, in which case, nice knowing ya . . .”

forwood goodbye

forwood goodbye 2

The on again, off-again couple genuinely promise to attempt to live full and happy lives without one another.  And I swear I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face . . . or I’m chopping onions .  . . or something . . .

The Selfless Salvatore

Speaking of touching, Rebekah and Damon share a surprisingly genuine moment, during which Rebekah expresses her admiration for Damon’s selflessness, with regard to Elena and the cure.

get the damn cure


I really do like Rebekah, and think it’s about time she gets herself a hookup that isn’t Elena’s sloppy seconds.  Anyone else agree?


Further down in the cave, we FINALLY get our first glimpse of the ever elusive SILAS . . .



And I hate to say this, but he kind of looks like Mikael . . . you know   . . . that OTHER big scary vampire type, who started off entombed, until he fed on one of the cast members, and then awoke, only to die about two episodes later . . .

3 6 mike

3 6 eat kat



If you recall, it was actually the unlucky Kat, who received the honors of being Mikael’s first meal, which is fitting, when you think about it, because . . . well . . . I’ll get to that in a bit.

So, Vampire Hunter Vaughn is fighting with Vampire Hunter Jer Bear, when “Elena” makes a surprise appearance, and rescues her brother from certain death . . .

kat vaughn

JerBear’s first hint that “Elena” isn’t quite herself, is when he has to REMIND her not to KILL Vaughn, and risk being saddled with that pesky Vampire Hunter Murderer curse again.  His second hint, is when she refuses to help paralyzed Bonnie, which I think is just good sense.  That witch is a pain in thee ass!



But alas, JerBear figures out a bit too late that the vampiric female, who came to his rescue is not his sister at all, but . . . wait for it . . . KATHERINE PIERCE . . .

2 15 surprise


the kat eating apple petrova gifs


Annnd . . . then she feeds JerBear to Silas, who breaks his neck, and leaves him lying dead on the floor.  (So much for avoiding that Hunter Killer Curse, Katherine!)

dead jer 1


dead jer 2



So, is Mystic Falls’ Shirtless Wonder REALLY dead?  Or just FAKE DEAD . . . like all those other times?

dead jerrr

It’s hard to tell at this point.  And this makes it difficult for me, as a viewer, to have a genuine emotional response to a loss which, if it actually sticks, will be a pretty major blow to the Mystic Falls Community, on multiple levels . . .

jer 1

(I’ll miss those ARMS, that’s for sure!)

The promos certainly want us to believe that JerBear is gone for good.

But IS he?

stefan shrug

Only time . .  . and next week’s episode will tell . . .  See ya then, Fangbangers!


[][Fangirls Forever]


Filed under The Vampire Diaries

17 responses to “The Boy Who Cried “Dead” (and the Wolf who Cried “Gone”) – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Down the Rabbit Hole”

  1. East Coast Captain

    I think Silas is scarier than Mikael if Kol an original is terrified of him, he is a guy not to be messed with and it seems he is the first ever vampire in the history of the world I suspect a new breed of vampire probably more powerful should be fun.

    Poor Jeremy hope he reunites with Anna on the other side maybe Bonnie will attempt to bring him back…again!

    • Good point, East Coast Captain. Kol was afraid of Silas. And yet, if you recall, Klaus and Rebekah were just as afraid of Mikael. Remember that 20’s flashback, where he raided the speakeasy, and they both ran away like terrified children? So far, all this Silas drama is feeling just a bit been there, done that, for me. But I really do hope to be proven wrong.

      I also like your idea about Jeremy. If they really do decide to kill him for good this time, I hope we get a nice scene of him reuniting with Anna, his parents, Alaric, Uncle John and Aunt Jenna . . . The character has certainly earned it.

  2. Um… Silas killed Jeremy. Admittedly, Katherine fed Jer to him, but Silas is the guy that killed Hunter Jeremy. Morning Silas, after 2000 year nap, you get bad skin, a serious need for a shower, and Suicide Hallucinations. Welcome to the 21st century. Kat got off scott free, cure in hand (She really is amazing.)

    • Hey William Welton, thanks for stopping by and commenting. You are right. Silas was definitely the one who snapped Jeremy’s neck. And technically, the curse should fall on him. But I don’t know. Somehow, I just don’t see the writers saddling their new big bad with a debilitating weakness, like insanity, right off the bat. So, I’m thinking either Jeremy won’t actually die, or somehow Silas will be immune from the hunters’ curse, as he wasn’t fully “aware” when he committed the murder. I also feel like, from a plot development perspective, it would be more interesting to see Katherine vulnerable in that way, than it would be to see Silas, who the audience doesn’t really know yet.

  3. Andre

    I must say that I congratulate you. I have to congratulate you for even being able to write an actual recap of this episode. Had I tried it would have been a full blown rant and nothing more.

    Man, this must be the first time for a very long time that we were 90 % of the same opinion about an episode. Based on your many snarky comments and crossed out sentences at the start of the recap already you must have thought of this the same way I did.
    Seriously, even being annoyed by it feels difficult and the emotional response to Jeremy’s death was non-existent in both our cases as it seems. I guess it must have been difficult to write this recap and get some drops of snark out of the episode. Like getting water from a rock.
    And the end of the episode I was just thinking:
    Why do they even bother with this? Why?

    This was such crap and so predictable. I know its episode 14 so the next “big change” had to come as usual but this? This way?

    It really is as though the writers:
    a) Don’t know what good storytelling is
    b) Rather want to get new viewers instead of keeping old ones

    This whole episode was like some… I have no words for this. I wonder whether they really think this is good writing or whether they are just plain lazy. I am sure everybody here would have written something better.

    First the intro again:
    “Loyalties have been tested…” Over a picture of Rebekah shortly after she rescued Elena? Are they trying to let it look as though Rebekah is loyal to Elena or what? And if yes, who would believe that who didn’t just tune in two episodes ago?

    Oh and the title… Titles should reflect an episode. “Down the Rabbit Hole” had as much to do with this episode than the titles of the Mortal Instruments series had with the book contents. And just in case you don’t know these:

    Actually this reminds me also of this episode. It just screamed “been there done that.”

    And I totally forgot how many times Jeremy died one way or another, so thanks for the pics to remind me. When we take every event into account Jeremy “died” four times. Maybe even five times if Katherine snacking on him counts. No wonder this stuff doesn’t get any emotional response from us.

    And sending Tyler into exile? I guess that means that they cannot handle the character for the time to come.

    “OK, you got me. They kind of do happen every week in Mystic Falls. But still! When someone dies, they usually stay dead!
    When someone leaves, they usually stay gone!
    When someone returns, they usually stick around.
    All these things could mean big changes for the show, as we know it. RIGHT?
    No? Oh well! On with the recap, anyway …”

    I guess that screams to being prepared:

    Maybe that video also applies to Silas. You big song and in the end he dies.

    “As always, special thanks to Andre, who will undoubtedly miss screencapping JerBear’s abs, just as much as I miss writing about them!”
    Well you have to appreciate the work McQueen put into it.
    Oh and speaking of work:

    The “Scavo twins” apparently worked a lot. You know this already of course but maybe some of the hardcore readers who still read my comments don’t know yet. 😉

    Either way I think the hopes of him are not justified:

    He wanted these twins:

    Let’s keep logical, I think from pure looks these would be better, they actually look like senior high school students. And they can be told apart.

    These could have worked as well:

    Or these:

    Well they definitely would look like high schoolers. And would I be a teenager again I would definitely date them. But enough of teenage eye candy and get back to the show:

    Are they trying to give the show an international flair by letting the hunter called Vaughn sound like… what accent/dialect is that? The last speech I remember that sounded similar was from a worker in the show “Into the West” and that one was supposed to be Irish. So is Vaughn supposedly Irish?
    Uhm, no he is just “English” I guess. The actor is called Charlie Bewley ( [looks like he will only be there for … 3 episodes? Did Wikipedia have wrong info again or will the guy return somehow?]) and now I know where I saw that face before:

    Wasn’t there something about the makers of the show not wanting to be connected to Twilight?
    If yes why do they not only model Elena after Bella (seriously can anybody deny that?) but also have the show just about romance, give as whimpy bad guys and now even cast an actor from that line? Who is next Taylor Lautner? Well if he works out at least we would have abs to look at.

    That story with Vaughn’s tattoo was so dump if you ask me. Apparently killing Kol’s line made Vaughn’s tattoo spread too…. Hm is that smart? Nope. It’s plot convenience. Because if the killings of one hunter also affects the tattoo of another they should have had the tattoo ready along time ago. Seriously how many vampires would it take to complete it? And why would killing vampires lead you to Silas anyway?
    And now that I think about it, why would the first Five need this tattoo to find Silas? And why was Silas buried in modern day Nova Scotia? Oh yeah, because it had to be American in some way.

    Damn that Vaughn is stupid as well. Why don’t they have him tell Damon his biography while he is at it? He is practically blurting everything out like some second class comic book supervillain.
    The biggest problem is that everything he blurts out is either uninteresting (his background), stupid (like you said for someone watching these lamers he should have known better than to think Damon could be used to get to Bonnie), or plain useless (everybody would have guessed already that there would be only one cure, no need to add “drama” to it). So why do they even bother with it? Was there no better filler?

    I am sure a simple Operah classic would have been a better use of time:

    I mean the music would fit. And definitely be more entertaining.

    And this one call.. I guess you were equally annoyed by it as I was. By the way kudos to you for pointing out the inconsistency with the phone reception.
    Man that whole deal was smart of Caroline wasn’t it? Stay in the house directly in front of Klaus’ nose so he can here the whole phone call. Not only would he be able to hear Elena he would also be able to hear Rebekah and Stefan. Some small, very small, part of me wants to give the writers the benefit of doubt but my past experience with this show simply doesn’t allow it.
    You know would the writers be good they would deliberately write the characters that stupid, but no, it’s simply that vampire senses magically failed again and so they can have this “brilliant” plan. And later on they have Rebekah hear Klaus on the phone who stands as far away from it as she did from Elena’s earlier on and she can hear him.
    Is it that difficult for the writers to write something even 1/10 consistent?

    “He went through all this trouble to capture Bonnie and JerBear, and all he got for his troubles was a DAMN ROCK!”
    Yeah the “rock”…
    In some ways it was smart not to have it be part of the ritual stuff but on the other hand it was downright stupid. I guess you must have missed it:
    According to Shane the stone is/contains “calcified blood” of Bonnie’s relative (you know the witch who turned Silas)? Is that even physically possible? I doubt it. But not even that, if remains of witches can have so much power shouldn’t there be a whole market out there?
    Not that it will go anywhere, since I think the writers throw in all this stuff to not let viewers notice how hollow everything is, especially their loving relationships. Seriously, take all that supernatural stuff away and what is left? Nothing really. Despite what you Forwooders and Delenas think, these two ships didn’t even date so far. They just suddenly loved each other. Sure you Forwooders would say that Tyler and Caroline developed and so on. Yeah no. That was just plain Lazarus effect. Old plot device, nothing more.
    And even that was tied to the supernatural. Without it these relationships not only wouldn’t exist there would be nothing about them even should they exist by some miracle. Or did they so far anything that actually binds couples? Did they do anything except stumbling from one drama to the other?

    Ok, back to the show at hand:
    Before I go further take this much better video about a rock:

    You know it already I think. But maybe others don’t.

    Now the sword…
    It was in the attic? Seriously? That is where it was and they couldn’t find it before? Seriously these vampires are so fast and strong couldn’t Klaus have buried it somewhere? What kind of idiot wouldn’t find a sword in the attic?
    Again if they at least deliberately write them so stupid but no, it is most likely they just do it in a “we say so now let’s go on” way.

    And now the whole translation thing:
    Did you find it as stupid as I did?
    I mean a cryptex? Seriously? From the Da Vinci Code? That cryptex was quite different and had something inside. This is a cryptex:

    You have to have a code to actually open it. This stuff in the sword is nothing more than an alternative decoding ring. Again, do they write them intentionally that stupid to parody average American teenagers, if yes they are doing a terrible job, or are they themselves just that incapable?

    And of course the language is Aramaic. Yeah, why shouldn’t they just use that language? I mean it’s not as though there aren’t hundreds or thousands of Bible scholars all over the USA who can read it, right?

    To be honest if they wanted to make it look difficult to get a translator they should have used some other dead language like Sumerian or Etruscan, but I guess that would not be Christian enough for the writers. How uneducated must someone be in the western world not to have heard about Aramaic? But nope, not in TVD. Here Klaus suddenly speaks Aramaic, he must be in the center of course, but neither Tyler nor Caroline think of simply kidnapping and compelling some Bible scholar where they can be sure to get the truth. I guess having a convenient one around the block was too much for these writers.
    And Aramaic was the native tongue of Bonnie’s relative…. No comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    But hey the Internet worked anyway right? And man that was fast. And totally useless. Not to mention that having Klaus translate it so fast is bullshit. Aramaic was nowhere as sophisticated a language as English was so one word easily could have several different meanings so Klaus just being able to translate it so easily makes no sense unless he knew the meaning of the text already.

    “But then Klaus drops a not particularly surprising, because we all pretty much knew this from the beginning bombshell on them, which makes them wish they used cell phone minutes a bit more wisely. As it turns out, there’s only enough vampire cure for ONE PERSON!”
    Yeah I am surprised, see how surprised I am? I am so surprised and I am sure everybody here was also totally surprised.

    And why exactly was this thing a weapon against vampires if there is only one dose? I mean eliminating a whole line of vampires was already possible. Or was it simply because Silas was so dangerous? Hard to believe considered what we saw of him so far.

    ” Oh no! If Vampire Klaus Barbie gets to the cure first, the Scooby Gang won’t be able to use it to . . . SAVE ELENA! Oh the humanity!”

    Totally agree, it was clear it would be either Elena or Klaus who gets “cured.” Well currently it might only be Elena since Klaus gets his own spin-off. More on that later.

    ” Stefan and Elena – Friends Forever . . . Literally”
    Total bullshit but typical for this show. Huge drama, then nothing and again huge drama.
    Bad storytelling at its finest.
    You know even if I gave up Glee at the very least the show knew how to look (and sound) good while doing such stuff:

    I mean you can say whatever you want, their shows look good:

    “And just like that, another temporary death has rocked Mystic Falls.”
    You know isn’t there something like time? Shouldn’t Bonnie’s spell on Klaus have worn off already and shouldn’t it take longer for Stefan to raise after his neck was broken?
    And wouldn’t it be smarter to actually jump and thereby cover some ground instead of simply letting yourself fall down the cliff?

    “All sarcasm aside, I was kind of proud of Elena, in this moment.”
    Not me; it was too predictable. Way too predictable. Also this was just plain Elena with her martyrdom complex and on the other hand her manipulation of everybody around her and her selfishness.
    And I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo surprised when they decided to “cure” Klaus. Seriously that would be the best option. But unless the spin-off contains only of Flashbacks we all know that Klaus will not become mortal or will not stay mortal. So why do these writers even bother? Couldn’t they have decided to fill the wasted minutes with something better? Like I don’t know some actual gay sex or a women beating the crap out of some guy instead of this lip service they pay to gender and sexual equality?

    “So, Damon makes a move to beat the crap out of Vaughn, along with some help from a surprising source . . .Rebekah!”
    Another stupid and pointless scene. Why is Vaughn so strong? Elena killed Connor but Vaughn suddenly can take on both Rebekah and Damon at the same time?
    What do you think is the reason for that? The show’s typical inconsistency or its typical racism?
    And why does Vaughn bother to say Damon that his “attachment to his friends” will be the end of him? Why should he bother? Seriously why? I would say because the writers have to…. Nope, I can’t think of any good reason for this useless line of Vaughn.

    ” Further up in the cave, Elena encounters a familiar face . . . one that has no trouble whatsoever kicking her BUTT!

    Golly gee! I wonder who it could be?”

    Katherine.. I had suspected that the moment Elena had said “No” and some shadow attacked her. So the third party was Katherine after all. The whole thing just screams plot device to me. And I guess to you as well.

    ” Bonnie: “Wow, I can feel your tattoo moving and growing. The magic must be working.”

    Jer Bear: *whistles awkwardly*”
    You know I didn’t notice that when I made that screencap but it really looks like as though Bonnie is massaging Jeremy’s boner isn’t it? 😀

    On a more serious note:
    “A Hunter in full bloom”… Sorry but neither today nor back then was 16 years old “in full bloom” especially not for a guy. It is as though the writers can’t differentiate between Jeremy Gilbert and Steven McQueen. Just like the guy considered Mike Chang to be an Asian male role model couldn’t differentiate between Mike Change and Harry Shum Jr.
    I may give teenagers a pass for making such mistakes but not adults.

    ” But that’s not true at all! My actual favorite part of the episode came a little later, when that same avalanche ended up paralyzing Professor Dumpy Dork, and the rest of the Scooby Gang left him to ROT!”
    That whole scene with the illusion of his wife… Why did Silas create that? What does he care about Shane’s soul peace? Or does that mean that Shane will be back? I mean he was on the show for more than 5 episodes now, so maybe. And it worked for Klaus and Rebekah. And it could work for Shane. I mean he is an adult, white and was considered attractive so his chances are good to stay on the show. Or at least better than for a character who isn’t looking like the white stereotype.

    “In return for this heartfelt admission, Klaus agrees to let Tyler take another multi-episode hiatus, before he goes and tries to kill him again.”

    Klaus’ “all for you” speech to Karoline was so nauseating to me. Like I always said “the right girl saves the bad guy” trope. Done to the death who knows how often. Even in Damon’s case it would be less bad, because at least he is “only” an impulsive serial killer and not a mass murderer of the scale as Klaus is.
    I guess by Plec’s standards, Klaus shows of “kindness etc” he mentioned on the porch actually does count. Well not for me, I live in the real world. Klaus is still the same psychopath he has been all along. That was not kindness, because he did far worse to Tyler than Tyler did to him. Klaus is the same monster he always is and everybody who is a Klaroline or a Klaus fan and actually thinks the guy or the relationship is good is nuts in my eyes. If you like Klaus as an antagonist fine, makes sense, but not as a hero of some sorts, not even an anti-hero. He has done to many horrible stuff and is way too hypocritical.

    ” Caroline: “Absolutely . . . well . . . unless the writers have given me another love interest by then, in which case, nice knowing ya . . .””
    Totally agree, absolutely possible with these lame ass writers.

    ” And I swear I’m not crying, it’s just raining on my face . . . or I’m chopping onions . . . or something . . .”
    You weren’t really touched by this weren’t you? It is clear that this will have no lasting consequences in either way.
    Michael Trevino won’t be written out off the show as long as his name appears in the opening credits. Just watch for his name in the next opening credits and the ones afterwards, than you will know. It was the same in season 2.

    And you know this Klaus leaving and Katherine returning in this episode reminded me of something:

    If this is right Plec said: “You will not see hide nor hair of Katherine until Klaus is gone for good. So his survival ties in to her appearance, or lack thereof.”
    Plec also teased that Kat’s existence means not even Elena (Nina Dobrev) is safe when it comes to deaths in the Season 3 finale. “I mean, she’s got a Katherine. She’s got god knows how many doppelgangers are out there,” she pointed out.

    Of course this was written in May2012 and we all know how Plec is.
    However if that is true this means that this lame thing with hunting Tyler because Klaus again is hurt is him leaving so Katherine can come back. That was it then…. :/
    If just I knew how to imbed this picture into this comment:

    As for Elena dying… Yeah right. I believe that when I see it. Then, when 5 months have passed and she is still dead I truly believe it, for about 50%.

    “I really do like Rebekah, and think it’s about time she gets herself a hookup that isn’t Elena’s sloppy seconds. Anyone else agree?”
    I totally agree, but this won’t happen. Not on this show and even by some miracle it does, it will be stupid anyway.

    ” And I hate to say this, but he kind of looks like Mikael . . . you know . . . that OTHER big scary vampire type, who started off entombed, until he fed on one of the cast members, and then awoke, only to die about two episodes later . . .”
    Yeah totally, a part of me hoped that Silas would be entombed and not a vampire, as I suspected last week due to the Nosferatu like picture in the tattoo. But no, of course the first immortal being is a vampire… so original isn’t it?

    And this whole story with him is, again, so bullshit. How exactly was Silas supposed to take the cure if he was frozen? And what was that stuff covering him anyway? It is really just like the whole Sun-and-the-Moon curse, it makes no sense whatsoever. Big Surprise. Really big surprise.
    Was this whole story just a ruse so Silas could rise again? If yes, man this guy is a loser, that it took so long for him to accomplish that, since apparently he could make illusions all the time. What’s next, he is the sirer of the line of our Mystic Falls vamps and Klaus could have been killed off easily the whole time?
    And even if there is gonna be a new breed of vampires like East Coast Captain suspected I doubt that they would be fun or anything other than annoying. Think of it, every possible vampire antagonistic “species” so far was crap: the werewolves, the witches and the hybrids. All stated to be sooooo powerful and soooooo dangerous and in the end each and everyone of them who came to town dropped dead like flies, except for a very few exceptions. The writers did it for such a long time, why should it be different now?

    And Jeremy’s death… We will know whether he is no longer on the show and thereby actually dead once McQueen’s name no longer appears in the opening credits.
    So far they could have just let this music play:

    And you know what I am gonna end this comment with a question:
    Who here thinks that the hunter’s curse will affect Silas?

    • Hey Andre! I actually think you and I have been in agreement on the last three episodes. (Series record? :)) Perhaps, your snark and insights are rubbing off on me a bit. Or maybe, after four seasons, the show, like many shows that have been around for that long, has taken such a distinctive turn that long time fans like us can’t help but notice.

      I think you bring up a really good point about the show seeming to have changed its focus a bit to the attraction of new viewers. I definitely think the new “recap oriented” opening is evidence of that, as is the stilted “cell phone conversation” at the beginning of the past three episodes, during which Elena reminds us all of the mythology we learned in the last episode. It kind of reminds me of children’s book series like The Babysitters Club, or Sweet Valley Twins (You wouldn’t have read those. Girl stuff. :)), where the second chapter is always a re-introduction of the characters and past plots, inserted specifically for the few readers who happened to start the series at book 152.

      While I think this is a necessary evil for long running book series, when it comes to television, I feel like this approach is a bit passe and unnecessary. After all, in this day and age, most people who are late comers to a television series are much more likely to rent the DVD’s of previous seasons than just randomly start watching, without doing any research whatsoever (or at least they will read the series’ Wiki page.) Actually, I think if the series writers are genuinely interested in attracting new viewers, they should use the “Lost” method, which hooked me on to that series before the second season. Draft a single hour-long recap episode that highlights the relevant facets of the first three seasons, and air it during one of the hiatus periods.

      On an unrelated note, I had no idea you read the Mortal Instruments series! I read the first three. (As well as part of the infamous Draco Trilogy that the reviewer describes in her video.) And you are right, the representation of titles in the book, while included, is always a bit tentative. (I think the City of Bones represented the Silent City. The City of Ashes, may or may not have been the fairy realm. And the City of Glass was the Shadowhunter world of Idris. But I couldn’t tell you for sure.) Also like the reviewer, I much prefer the Infernal Devices series, by the author, which, while very similar to Mortal Instruments, is more tightly written, in my opinion. Plus, it has the added intrigue of a Victorian Setting, and a little bit of “steampunk” thrown in for good measure. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on both series.

      Also unrelated . . . Glee. While I certainly don’t blame you for dropping the series, I think you should watch the most recent episode, as I think you might find certain aspects of it appealing. That’s all I’m going to say. 🙂

      Final unrelated note, the guy in the video wearing the “Sterek Pack” t-shirt cracked me up (and made me think I need to make a “Sterek pack” t-shirt for my Cafe Press site, since my Team Stiles and Team Derek shirt haven’t been selling as much as I’d like). I also enjoyed the “twins” audition tapes, but thought, while the men’s looks were smoking, their acting left a bit to be desired. I hope the guys Jeff Davis cast were better actors than that! (In their defense, I think it’s a bit difficult to look sexy and menacing, while pronouncing words like norepinephrine.)

      Back to TVD, Charlie Bewley, though his Wikipedia page describes him as “English,” I kind of thought his accent sounded Australian? Was I the only one? I’ve also been reading up on the so-called Twitter controversy, during which he called Elena a slut. What are you guys’ thoughts on that.

      As for the Teen Wolf Charlie Brown spoof, that never gets old. 🙂

      I agree with you that, the writers didn’t give the character a real auspicious introduction. (Connor seemed much more interesting / menacing, than Vaughn.) Perhaps, this is because the character is not meant to stick around all that long? Who knows? I mean, if the rumors are right that Michael Trevino is heading back to LA, and may actually be gone from this series for the long haul, this time around, and Klaus and Elijah are spinoff bound, it seems to me like the show could use some new male blood . . .

      Speaking of male blood, I’m kind of surprised you didn’t notice the inadvertent “hand job” photo you gave me of Bonnie and JerBear. 🙂 I thought that was a total plant, on your part. 🙂

      As for Shane, though this episode seemed to disprove my theory some what, part of me is still wondering whether the Shane/ Silas connection will become more apparent next week. So maybe Silas isn’t Shane, and Shane is just a pawn in all this. But will Silas end up possessing Shane, so that THAT actor will end up being our big bad, in the way that Matt Davis was, when Klaus first appeared? It’s still possible.

      You also bring up a good point about Katherine. I suspect next week we will learn who actually brought her in on this Silas mission. Was she the one who made that dude eat his tongue, a few weeks back? Did she kill the Johnny Depp lookalike, and steal that rock? Did she do it as Klaus’ emissary, in exchange for his promise to stop hunting her, or did she have a reason entirely her own? After all, it definitely seemed like Klaus was already aware of the cure’s “limitations,” by the time he translated the cryptex for Caroline and Tyler. Perhaps, this has been part of his Master Plan all along?

      • Andre

        Well I do remember that our opinions about the last three episodes were quite alike and I guess that means that the episodes must be really bad.
        However of course longtime fans might notice inconsistencies but on the other hand many apparently don’t. And I personally don’t think that the show has taken such a distinctive turn now, but I think it has taken a turn about mid season 2. I think you can remember the people in season 1. Back then Elena was much more outgoing and far less willing to take shit from anyone, and although Bonnie was even back then tied to magic it made sense since she was just then discovering it. Also the requirements for a spell were much more severe and also the consequences of magic were real, what consequences are there now? Also the effects of magic seemed better. We learned more about the supporting characters’ backgrounds than in the seasons afterwards also the supporting cast had way more to do even when they were not in a romantic relationship. Some weird things were already there (e.g. Elena allowing Damon to compel Jeremy) but at least they had consequences. It continued into season 2 but first signs of its current form already appeared. The most notable was Damon downright murdering Jeremy and Elena forgiving him only days afterwards and with barely nothing else from him than a sorry and the lame “I was upset” excuse. The next step in my mind was Forewood, while this sudden closeness was in some way understandable due to the effect of Tyler’s immaturity and his sudden vulnerable status on Caroline, albeit she wasn’t exactly deep either, it was still way too rushed. Nonetheless Bonnie was still, justifiably angry at Damon and things didn’t just fly into nothing, but about mid season 2 things were going to get worse. The inconsistencies started to built up, remember the fight of Jules vs. Rose and the Salvatores vs. the werewolves or Elijah’s supposed invincibility even they had tried not more than a stake and a flamethrower? Bonnie was taking more and more shit from Damon and the others. Jeremie had less and less realistic reactions and Matt got more and more into the background. The whole thing with Klaus betraying Elijah and the stoic reaction of Elena and Jeremy to the deaths of John and Jenna was in my eyes the first ever actual sign of the first stage of crazy train this show was now on. In season 3 the shit hit the fan with the fact that despite word getting out about Klaus’ new status there was no response from the greater werewolf, vampire or witch communities, more and more romantic relationships, totally dysfunctional ones come into the foreground and people not in one were in the background. Bonnie had now full magical negro status. Things had no actual effects anymore when it didn’t fit dysfunctional relationships. Remember neither Bonnie nor Jeremie were particularly affected by their break-up. They had tortured Caroline twice in this season and she just shrugged it off. Stefan’s Ripper 2.0 days didn’t really affect him either. They kept throwing one love triangle and twist after another at us and often the whole ordeal was so stereotypical it was unbelievable. If you remember I spend most of season 3 pointing out the inconsistencies. And since then it hasn’t become any better, if at all it became worse since the show is still mainly about these relationships and everyone and everything else is just filler. Predictable filler. And ever since season 3 they throw in one stupidly elaborate plot part after another even when it makes no sense and has no actual consequences (remember this stupid hunter’s curse? If the Hunters are there to kill vampires why does the curse end when another hunter is called? Why doesn’t it end you know with the vampire’s death?) except when it serves “drama” or “resolution” for the romantic relationships.

        Actually I think so far all our main males could be characterized by these two songs:
        Song 1 (especially the refrain):

        Song 2:

        They basically had it all in the start but they messed up completely and basically blame everybody else. It is the fact with the Salvatores (seriously why was Giuseppe the bad one?), with Tyler (yes his father was an asshole but it’s not as though Tyler put much effort into becoming better and now he seems to idolize him [or the writers forgot that, which might be more likely]) and especially with Klaus, seriously why exactly could Michael not stand him? Maybe Klaus was the actual reason? At least it would fit to his otherwise childish behavior.

        Nope I never read those two book series, never heard of them, different continent remember? 😉
        But TVD currently does seem that way. But why do they bother with this especially when they also contradict themselves every few episodes now? It can’t be ratings since apparently the show is a hit. Even in season 3 they seemed to wait at least half the season but now… all the time. It is totally weird. Where do they want to go with this and why are there still so many fans that don’t seem to notice?

        Like you said, unnecessary and passé. And yeah if you miss something, that is where DVDs come in. If you ask me they totally recycle old stuff on the show now. Did you notice how Tyler’s drawing skills disappeared but suddenly Klaus became a drawer and painter? Also they both had a dad that “scared” and “abused” them and both “fell in love” with Karoline (let’s face it in Klaus’ case it literally came out of nowhere). There was also Bonnie’s sudden lack of power and the like. Similar to back in season 1 when her grams said her that her books won’t help her and so they had to work for Bonnie to get her powers back, but this time they just hypnotized her, nothing else. And speaking of that, it just occurred to me today that Shane might be a recycled Alaric (dead wife and vampiric entity the reason for all he is doing = Alaric). Then there is the thing with Klaus, Elijah and Tatja (Salvatores anybody?), the whole Bonnie’s ancestors being integral to it stuff, they, again, killed Jeremy, they have again an age old vampiric entity “rise” (Tomb vampires, Klaus, Michael + rest of Original family, Silas). They have some unknown female presence come in and change things just to disappear again quickly and that time and again (Emily, Anna, Lexi, Lucy, Jules, Rose, Sage, Haley). And probably some more stuff I can’t remember right now, well except that their legends are always never what they appear to be (Damon’s story with saving Katherine, the sun and the moon curse, the original witch and now most likely Silas). You can expect this to happen, that nothing has any lasting consequences and that it is despite all the pacing monotone and predictable. Predictability has its place but not time and again. Why invest in something when you know right away that it will last for no longer than a few episodes? The pacing of the show and these constant changes are in my mind nothing but an illusion of depth and complexity but considered that e.g. their own backgrounds get constantly ignored or rewritten as it seems speaks rather for a pretty strong shallowness of this show.

        I think I came to City of Bones due to coincidentally seeing this Trailer:

        And also because a countrymen of mine managed to get a small role in it and it’s not common for a German to even get a part in an American film (British and Australian actors have a much better choice), especially if he looks like this:

        Anyway I also saw a review for City of Bones and became curious. I also read the first three books, actually I finished the third today and I must say I can understand why people like it but I also think that if you have already been around the territory for a while like me you will invariably see too many similarities to other popular works of fiction over the last years.
        The City of Bones was the Silent City for sure, the City of Ashes… no idea, that was a problem I had with the first two books, the names simply didn’t fit. City of Glass was the first that did fit, yes it is the city of Allicante (Idris is the country) I would say. Maybe I will give The Infernal devices a try so I can’t say anything for now.
        As for the first three MI books… the first two were ok, but I didn’t like the third. In the first two there were very strong similarities to other books and the inquisitor in book 2 practically screamed Barty Crouch. There are other very strong similarities between these three books and the Harry Potter series.
        Also the series shows similarities to Twilight (Jace can play piano, vampirism enhances physical appeal) and Underworld (Vampire werewolf war). Also the author seems to try but fail on several levels in my eyes. She never really shows the effects of the darker parts of her world (the instinctual hatred of vampires and werewolves, the viciousness of the faeries, the snobbery of the Nephilim [Simon’s assessment of them is very accurate in my eyes]) and she seems to forget how little time has passed. Then there is the thing that neither Clary nor Jace really know each other (by the way I knew since book 2 that they weren’t related and even if not, the Angel Sanctuary reference in book 3 would have given it away) but are nonetheless head over heels for each other. Sure Clary is somewhat likeable but Jace acts like an ass, most of the time he is downright rude. And while I get that Clary would be all over Jace’s physical appeal Alec should have been way passed that, but the only time his view on Jace is shown it is still Jace’s look. Actually it is boring that the author has to constantly remind us how good Jace looks, we get it I thought. And there is Alec, snobby like Isabelle, but he is coachable, I rather have problem with Magnus, apart from this pretty weird name. People apparently portray them as sooo great:

        I personally do not think so. So far Alec is tolerable, just snobbish and wet behind the ears, but I would have to speak turkey with Magnus would I ever meet him. First there is one thing, but that has to do with the author: in book 2 Magnus is described as looking 19 but in book 1 he was referred to as a man by Clary and no 15 year old refers to a 19 year old as a man. I wonder whether the author forgot that. But that is not my main issue, the thing is that Magnus is at least 300 (no idea whether she lets him lie deliberately or forgets what she herself stated in previous books, in book 1 he says he was around when the Dead Sea was just a small lake [whenever that was since it was bigger in the past], in book 300 was stated by Alec and in book 3 Magnus stated he was about 800 years) and he and Alec started dating only shortly after Jace met Clary, so not even 1 month has passed since they first saw each other, and he already is angry because Alec didn’t confess his love right away and wants Magnus to meet his parents?
        The kid is 18 years old, totally in the closet (he never told anybody, all found out themselves) and totally insecure and inexperienced with even the basics of dating and relationships. What does Magnus expect? Regular straight couples don’t meet the parents that early. We will see what the next two books bring but right now and by real life standards I would say its best they break up, I don’t think that Magnus is good.

        I also think both Jace and Clary have too much Mary Sue characteristics and especially Jace seems rather grafted to me instead of developed. And like I said both Mary Sue (the angel blood, the extra powers, that what they want works). And Clary is not that likeable, she quickly adopts the Lightwoods snobbish ways, calling Luke a filthy Downworlder and referring to Simon as a mundane, a definitely elitist word. And often things are too plot convenient to me, especially in the third book (the army of werewolves, the angels, Jonathan’s talking, Magnus in Idris, etc.).

        At its very least the series was relaxing to read so far except for the latter third of book three, that was a drag.

        Note I personally don’t think Gao looks like Magnus. But they had to make him older since Alec is played by 28 year old Kevin Zeghers I guess.

        I think the author really tries but often she fails. It is clear from articles like this one ( that she tries to not wrote racist or stereotypical but I think she fails without knowing. Sure she cares deeply, otherwise she would not have insisted that Godfrey Gao plays Magnus in the film (no small feat), but I think she doesn’t realize what she is doing. Not only does she still speak of race in the book via Clary, which might be simply realistic since Clary is American, she also lets people like Isabelle refer to Aline (who is part Chinese I think) as having black eyes. There are no black eyes. There are just brown eyes. I think she doesn’t grasp these more subtle variants of stereotyping. Aline is also a book worm and her mother from Beijing is slender. Not only is it very stereotypical to pair “Asian” women with white men, it is also stereotypical to portray them as slender. Why not rather stocky, like Jenna Ushkowitz?
        And such things can be quite strong as it seems even if it is obvious how ridiculous it sometimes looks. Here would be an example:
        But beware, it talks about a Walking Dead XXX parody and I have to say: If you do Yellowface at least have it a good one (seriously Christopher Lee looked better back in the days as Fu Manchu). And they can’t tell me they couldn’t have found an Asian American guy who could play that role. I know next to nothing about straight porn, naturally, but I didn’t believe for second there would be no Asian American porn actors in straight porn, because even gay porn has them. And how do I know this? That’s why:
        Reason 1:

        Reason 2:

        If the guy porn industry has them, so straight porn definitely has them as well.

        Ok, back to the matter at hand, albeit not so far away.
        Since I wrote an article in my DA journal about why I think Mike Chang is not a role model ( I had to watch Glee and only some parts of it interested me. Sadly they haven’t come far if you ask me. I still like the songs, but that is not enough for me. Also they plainly get things wrong: e.g. there was no mentioning of Jake’s mother being Jewish, and if she is not and he didn’t convert, he is not Jewish. There is no such thing as being half jewish.
        Also the characters still don’t really learn anything when it comes to it. Santana spotted Kitty right away and no one, again, listens to her.

        We will see about the guys Jeff cast, but let’s face it, they don’t even look 18 anymore, so how can they pose as high schoolers?

        I personally never mistook Bewley for Australian. Believe me they sound pretty different. Even the less pronounced ones like in this trailer:

        You especially hear it with the pronunciation of “water.”

        By the way should you ever be able to watch the movie, I saw it at the Berlinale film festival and recommend it.

        I had to check on that comment by Bewley and found this:
        Apparently all he initially said was that:
        “I cannot believe these two brothers toss around a girl they supposedly love, neither can I believe that Elena willfully hops into bed with one after the next, and back. Sire bond is no excuse,”

        And his response to the outcry was:
        “I was asked to say something about the triangle and that’s the funniest thing I could think up. Sorry if I offended any sluts out there.”

        I agree with one twitterer who called this response inappropriate but the initial comment true. That behavior of the two guys is pretty misogynistic and if you remember I also called Elena’s behavior slutty. The triangle of these three is not normal, not healthy by any real life standards. And I am happy you are not one of those Elenas who sent hate posts to the guy for speaking his opinion. And opinion he is really not alone with I might say.

        This link also has something from Plec:
        “Back in November, after Elena and Damon had sex right after her breakup with Stefan, executive producer Julie Plec reminded everyone in an interview with Zap2It that they are fictional characters, saying, “In the real world, would it happen that quickly? Maybe not. But I do think that the punctuation on the breakup is her finally giving in to these feelings for Damon, and then to raise the question of ‘Oh, God. Is that what she really felt or is it all part of the supernatural link between them?’””

        “Maybe not”? So that they are fictional excuses everything? Hm… why am I not surprised about this response?

        I found the full interview of him:

        Ok back to the show. Just keep in mind, as long as Trevino, Morgan and McQueen are in the opening credits they will return.
        And new male blood… simply new or actually blood that isn’t spilled immediately? 😉

        And no I definitely didn’t see the “hand job” I must be better than I thought.:D

        I see no reason right now why Silas should possess Shane. Maybe Shane is just the new Alaric.

        And if Klaus has a “Master Plan” I am sure it will be another one that makes no sense. Sorry, but I can’t understand how you can still be so optimistic about this show.

  4. Linn

    I knew I should pay more attention when they explain the mythology, now I have my timeline all messed up!

    So, vampires (the originals) where created at the time the vikings were in America, so around year 1000, yes? So the five must have been created after that, so it makes no sense that they have biblical aramaic on their sword? And why would Klaus know it? Maybe he spent some of his thousand years in university 😉 And when was this Silas created, and what is he again?

    I think it’s funny they have this focus on how incredibly anciant the originals are, when they are really just as old as Eric Northman 😉

    Also, if Jeremy is really dead (boooooo), I agree with you that all the times he fake died left me to hardly lift an eyebrow this time. I just assumed he wasn’t dead this time either. That time Damn killed him and the time the sheriff shot him I jumped out of my sofa shuting nooooooooo, it’s a bit lame if his real death makes me feel nothing.

    She may have said so, but I certainly missed it – what does Katherine want with the cure? Give it to Klaus? She seems to enjoy being a vampire, but I can understand she would like to come out of hiding.

    And isn’t it a bit lame of that new hot hunter to wake up Silas just to kill him? Why not just let him be where he is? Much better for everyone involved 🙂

    • Andre

      Ok, that is just my own view on these things:
      The writers of TVD don’t care about what makes sense storywise when it doesn’t serve “drama” and their relationships. Either they don’t care or they are forced to do it this way. Also the whole show totally sucks at consistency. I think everybody here would agree on that no matter how much we disagree on other things.

      Now regarding the show’s mythology … well it’s already messed up and inconsistent. Originally Elijah said that their family had come from Eastern Europe in season 2, later on in season 3 Rebekah said that they had been Vikings or so, albeit Vikings are technically raiders and not settlers. But anyway, their parents had come to the Americas, for some reason settled in Virginia where Mystic Falls is today. This was about 1000 years before the present day and there they were transformed into vampires. Shortly after they went back to Europe and followed the Normans South, which is a bit at odds with how Finn met Sage, because supposedly they met in today Mystic Falls about 100 years after Finn became a vampire. Also the girl Taja, the one Katherine and Elena descent from, or one of her descendents must have gone back to Europe. We have evidence for the settlements of the Vikings much more north so you could think we would know about these ships going back and forth, but similarly to other things, the writers don’t care much about historical accuracy. And this is important here because this show basically claims to be based on our world’s history. But what can you expect from writers who write about wild horses in America by the time the Originals became vampires, right?

      It was never explained why Klaus spoke Aztec and apparently it can’t be explained since the Aztecs were a Pre-Columbian Mesoamerican people of central Mexico in the 14th, 15th and 16th centuries. And at that time the false Aztec curse was already around according to the show. They just don’t care about stuff like that or they have no idea. And yeah it makes not much sense why Klaus should know Aramaic. He must have learned it but if you ask me the writers make this stuff up as they go. Last season all this stuff probably wasn’t even anticipated. Not even in a sketch phase.
      I wouldn’t be surprised if they had originally planned to have Originals be really old and only made them about a millennium old when they could not come up with a better explanation for why they should want to stay in Mystic Falls and so they created their origin story.
      It is also possible that they simply forget these things, this would explain this whole story with Elena and blood drinking at the start of the season and Damon’s “hypotheses” with Elena supposedly needing to drink fresh from the vein due to her doppelgaenger status although we saw Katherine drinking from blood bags. Actually the whole siring thing was already inconsistent upon itself because sometimes Elena was aware of her being forced to act in a certain way and other times not. Also with Tyler… at first he was totally, as Jules puts it, gay for Klaus but now they claimed that his feelings for Klaus never changed due to him being sired. Which doesn’t fit at all his whole “Klaus wouldn’t do that” statements.

      I think the writers simply have overdone it with Jeremy’s deaths. But apparently there are still people who watched this show from the start and were shocked by this… This is the same as being shocked by Caroline being tortured, which happened in every season so far.
      … I have no words for this. These people must have… no… I really have no words for it and when a blabber mouth who has to give his opinion to everything like me says that I think it means something.

      As for Katherine and the cure… I would not be surprised if it turns up to be something totally different again. They do it all the time on this show so I anticipate nothing anymore and I also don’t enjoy these twists anymore because I know nothing lasts long on this show unless it serves some sort of love triangle. That is probably the only reason Klaus and Rebekah are still there.

      • Linn

        Haha, I know the writers lack of respect for historical facts annoy me a lot more than it should on this kind of show. I litterally shouted at my TV when Klaus (?) made that comment about the wild horses, yet I have no problems with the inclusion of vampires, werewolves and witches in our world 😉

        But yes, how the writers change the rules time after time, how they make the main characters do things completely against their personality just to fit the plot, it bugs me. You just can’t trust them. Like J says in her comment below here:“Fool me once [writers], shame on you . . . Fool me a thousand times . . .” I think that’s why I just don’t bother to pay much attention to the mythology, they’ll just change it again anyway.

        Like why would Damon now give up on his Elena relationship because “it’s too difficult with him being a vampire and her being human”? It didn’t stop him before. Man, I miss the days when he was a sassy,kick ass, badboy psycopath. I’m really missing True Blood just about now.

      • Andre

        Well vampires and witches and the like are utterly fictitious but when you are referring to real world things that are not influenced by them you better get your facts straight.

        And I think you make a very good point with Damon. It doesn’t make sense for him to be giving up now just because Elena wants to become human. It didn’t stop him before and considered that he is biologically much older than she is they would have a few years to figure out whether it works. But no, not even that. Another reason why I don’t understand why so many Delenas simply accept this. It really looks as though “love interests are defined with the care of a roll of dice” on this show.
        It just doesn’t make sense. So I cannot conceive why e.g. one reviewer actually said that the whole thing with Jeremy this season was good. Sure it was his best storyline so far since season 1 but in my eyes that is like saying “I can’t have Pie right now so I will be satisfied with dry old cookies”. That is not good if you ask me. If you do that that is a very slippery slope and soon you will be happy with seeing anything at all. We had, even on this show, better things for both Jeremy and Bonnie and now to be satisfied with this is utter bullshit.

        I don’t even get why the writers constantly change/ignore their own rules. What do they hope to gain from this? And why does no critic seem to call them out on this? It’s not as though lots of fans didn’t notice that already and criticized it. Just today I found this from 11/9/2011:
        “I kind of find it disgusting.

        •This show, penned by a person who is OPENLY HOMOSEXUAL(KW), so far has been very conservative with, well, EVERYTHING, starting with race, gender, same sex relationships, etc.

        •Again, I am not asking the show to just throw everything and EVERYTHING into itself for the sake of being politically correct, no matter how forced nor strange it feels(*cough*Glee*cough*), but the show with someone as KW in the lead, SHOULD have the balls to treat same-sex relationships as NORMAL relationships and NOT shy away from them.
        •BTVS was based upon TVD books and it litterally broke the ice for the same sex relationships on TV, for one actually portraying a gay man in positive and likeable light, having a same-sex relationship ON SCREEN, having same sex KISS(es) on screen and having same-sex sec scene on screen. And whats important everything that was perfectly incorporated into the show and did not feel “fake” and especially it did not feel like it was thrown there just to make a point or something. It felt natural. Its pitiful that TVD-tv show, the supposed REAL adaptation of TVD books fails to even merit even one milionth of that.
        •Then we have the obvious misogyny and sexism this show portrays. We have total one useful and kickass female character. That is Caroline. The main character, Elena, got a personality demotion at the start of the show BECAUSE WRITERS FELT SHE IS NOT FEMININE AND NOT VULNERABLE ENOUGH? So far in most of love relationships(if one can call it that way) in this show, male side has always, ALWAYS been the dominant one. Not even one relationship was directly started by a female. And then we have the whole Matt/Caroline debacle of Season 2, not to mention whole DES triangle smelling of misogyny and dysfunctionality.

        For a show penned by someone who has been very open about his sexual preference and who did NOT shy away from himself, I’d have expected a lot more liberal views upon stuff like gender roles, racial bias or same sex relationships. Sadly apparantly its not the case with the show.

        Although I would NOT call it racist. Utterly Conservative and stuck-up would be better term. ”

        Or this from 2012 when people complained about Jamie being Bonnie’s new love interest:

        “It’s practically ridiculous how adamant (so excuse me if this isn’t as articulate as it could be) I just became over Julie Plec’s rant, of sorts, on Twitter earlier today (which has since been deleted). After, presumably, receiving tweets of people wanting Bonnie and Kol together romantically on the show, executive producer and co-creator of The Vampire Diaries shut them down with a “No… just no.” The reason she cites is because Bonnie is strong and beautiful. And Kol? He’s a murderous vampire.

        Those two together — that could never happen.

        Forget the fact that Elena, human, is in involved in the central love triangle of the show with two murderous vampires. And if you try to shoot that down, you must not be watching the same show as I am. Literally, the last episode that aired, “1912,” centered around how Stefan received his Ripper status and how new character Sage helped Damon stop murdering people when he was hungry (and then taught him how to make humans his playthings). And this is Elena, you know, the main character. Bonnie, often relegated to B, C, and D plots offscreen (like in the last episode) and more so than not is basically used as a plot device to undo whatever the writers can’t themselves is apparently too beautiful and strong for getting with a murderous vampire.

        Forget the fact that Caroline, whom I would classify as both beautiful and strong, is being written into a romantic storyline with ”murderous vampire” Klaus — that guy that’s been killing everyone and then some since last season on the show.

        Forget it, because that’s not even the issue here. It’s not even that wanting Kol and Bonnie together is even right or correct in any way, shape, or form. It’s ludicrous, I agree. But we’ve been told that these characters aren’t just one note, simple creatures. There are layers there. I guess that’s why Klaus draws? I have no idea. But the fact remains, we’re watching a series about two brothers’ struggle with their inner demons — we’re not watching them be just murderous, but human. And Plec and company offered that Klaus was to be layered the same (perhaps not exactly, but you understand).

        What does it say of Kol if he’s nothing more than a “murderous vampire.” Nothing else defines him. He’s nothing but one-note, one-dimensional. Why am I wasting my time watching someone who’s just murderous if supposedly everyone lives in a shade of grey on this show? More so, why am I supposed to care — in the “season of the Originals,” no less? Am I supposed to feel any remorse when his mother wanted to mass murder her children? Is there a reason just murderous vampire Kol has gotten screen time in episodes where “beautiful and strong” Bonnie has not?

        What it says is that, at least, Kol of the Original Family is extra, surplus, excess, not needed. He’s useless.

        More so, to make room for him, the show got rid of just hybrid Tyler, just human Jeremy, just father Bill, and so on.

        I have not been a fan of how the show has been executed since the Winter hiatus, and I recently tried to pinpoint why. With Julie Plec’s rant, I think I’ve found out precisely: it’s true, I’m watching a show of either love interests that make no sense (almost hilariously given this rant) or a group of characters that are irrelevant. Either way, I’m not interested.

        I suppose Finn is just suicidal. Elijah is just a moral compass. Rebekah is just … uh, there? And Klaus is a non-threat.

        Perhaps Julie Plec was mad that so many people tweet about Bonnie to her. But I’d be more inclined to care if her words were equated with her execution. The truth is, we have no idea of Bonnie’s background apart from someone who loves her grandmother. What about her father? And her mother, who we meet for five minutes, is just a plot device too in an offscreen plot (relegating Bonnie to be an extension of it and nothing else). That said, in a season full of only love interests as storylines and nothing more (an exaggeration), I certainly can’t blame anyone for pairing every character they possibly could. It stems from the idea that the show believes that is truthfully what’s important. After all, the rant did originate from the idea that Bonnie’s mom’s fostered child (of sorts) is going to be Bonnie’s love interest (once again, because Jeremy, someone we actually care about, wasn’t enough). Now, that’s a pretty huge accusation: shippers being the product of the series itself, and thus the people who run it. At this point, I’m inclined to believe it. Then again, I have no basis for it. But when you build an entire season on it, how shocking can it be when that’s all anyone cares to tweet to you?

        Don’t want “ships” to be so important? Don’t make it so. Don’t want crack ships to be so important? Don’t create Caroline and Klaus out of thin air.

        But thank you. It’s been bothering me, not understanding what was off this season, and now I finally know: nothing that’s happening on the series has any gravitas nor incorporates any character I’ve grown to care for, meanwhile love interests are defined with the care of a roll of dice I suppose — and in that respect, that may be how I feel about the show at this point. Roll the dice, and you might get an episode that’s compelling enough to be pivotal.

        Pretty strong stuff for sure and although its 2013 now, is it really much better? If the makers of the show wouldn’t claim this show to be progressive and the like it would be one thing, but quite frankly they treat it as if its soooo great. It seemed back than in 2009 even if somewhat unrealistic (Pearl and Anna in 19th century Virginia) but if it was ever planned to go deeper, remember you could have had Jyler but Williams didn’t want it because he had a coming out story on Dawson’s Creek (yeah… Jack was pretty much self-hating and DC ended in 2003), they never went and apparently did a complete 180 towards, well what we have now.

        And one thing they either haven’t learned or don’t want to do:
        Saying much with small scenes. They do the direct opposite if you ask me, throwing one thing after another at the viewers and saying nothing.

        PS. It was Elijah talking about the wild horses and not Klaus 😉

    • Haha, good point Linn. Eric Northman could totally kick Klaus’ ass, any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. 😉 (Now, that would make for an excellent crossover fanfiction. :))

      Perhaps, Klaus was learning Aramaic, around the same time he was learning Ancient Aztec? He’s quite the ambitious student of languages, that Klaus. I’m barely passable at speaking Spanish. Man, I feel like a slacker now. 🙂

      I do think if the writers prove me wrong, by actually permanently killing Jer Bear in the next episode (as opposed to waking him up, only to fake kill / “humanize” Damon, I will feel a bit guilty about being so blaze about the original cast member’s surprise departure from the show. But, in my defense, as Rebekah says in this episode, “Fool me once [writers], shame on you . . . Fool me a thousand times . . .”

      I agree with you about Katherine wanting the cure to free herself from Klaus’ vengeance. That kind of selfish motivation is VERY Katherine. As for Vaughn, I guess we are supposed to feel like wanting to kill Silas is built into Vampire Hunters’ DNA. But then, why didn’t Jeremy feel the need to do that? Additionally, why did Vaughn seem so much more controlled and less blindly homicidal than other vampire hunters we’ve met, like Connor, and early hunter-turned Jer Bear? Does he just have a really good vampire hunter shrink on payroll?

      • Linn

        If they actually kill my beloved Jer Bear, I will be really angry. Him and Caroline are like the only two people on this show I still like.
        Haha, i like the idea of Vaughn being some sort of zen vampire hunter. And I like his accent (Irish? Scottish? Norther Irish?). I hope he sticks around for a while.

      • Andre

        According to wikipedia the actor is there for 3 episodes and he was in 2 so far. As for him being so Zen… I think its rather a sign of the show’s inconsistent writing.

  5. I can’t EVEN with all the leakage after watching this epi–I will keep my outrage to myself. Let’s just make everything funny instead (you gotta laugh or you’ll cry)! The bridesmaid that gets laid in the closet–love it! Yeah, Bex needs something other than sloppy seconds (but for that matter, so does Damon! lol). Let’s get her cozy with subtitle-needed Vaughn! The two of them could shout during playtime and nobody would understand a word of it! Ah, poor absent Katherine–no, this WASN’T exactly ‘her’ epi, except now she’s got what she always claims she wants–LEVERAGE! She’s got One Dose, and, presumably she also has The Qetsiyah Blood Pet Rock (which, hey, may be useful at some point, if the blood can be reconstituted for some evil purpose)! I’m interested to find out (some asshat will ruin it before next week, I’m sure) why the GetOutOfDeathFreeRing might not work (it did when Elena stabbed Jer in the neck after he already had The Mark, unless it has anything to do with the appearing/disappearing ink), when/if something about The Mark completion/erasure made Hunters ‘supernatural’ (thery’re just Human on steroids), or if Silas ‘doing the deed’ is any reason. Oh, geez, I’ve slipped into that outrage mode so I’ll STFU! Great recap–glad you stuck with the hilarity of the sitch!

    • Andre

      I have to applaud you for being able to make fun of this crap. Seriously such a lame episode. And there is actually at least one person who liked this stuff and was freaked out about this “twist:”

      No idea how long this guy watched this show to not see all this coming.

      And like I predicted in my comment, Shane’s survival chances are high:

    • Hey Mak! Your comments always make me smile! You suffered from leakage this episode .. . do I want to know what kind? 🙂

      You bring up some really great parallels from this episode, like the fact that, assuming Katherine snatched the cure from Silas’ hand, before feeding him JerBear, she now has the ultimate leverage, just like she had, back when Damon was dying from his wolf bite.

      You are also right about Jeremy’s ring absolutely working for him the last time he died, despite the fact that he was already an actual hunter at that point. (I’m sure they will make up some impromptu mythology to make the answer to Jer Bear’s malfunctioning Get Out of Death Free Ring malfunction seem reasonable. But right now, it doesn’t make sense to me.) And even if Jer Bear is able to rise, hasn’t he died and come back enough times to go TOTALLY nutso, a la EVIL ALARIC? I mean, especially, considering, as a hunter, he was already halfway to crazy town, having wittled knives in his sleep, and tried to murder his sister multiple times.

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