Elena the Cheerleader Slayer – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Bring it On”

cheerleading

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Welcome back, Fangbangers!   This week on TVD, we got a chance to meet BAAAAAD Elena.  For those who are confused, BAAAAD Elena is actually not all that different from Good Elena.  She just wears less clothes, and eats more people!  (After all, perpetual nudity does cause one to work up an appetite . . . or so I’ve heard.)

freaking hungry

Also, in this episode, Klaus, the thousand-year old vampire drawer of ponies, ugly snowflakes, and random shapeless mounds of what look like poop “artist” extraordinaire, FINALLY GOT LAID, thus making him a hero for geriatrics everywhere!

klaus cheers

funny face grandpa

OK, so, it may not have been the most eventful TVD episode ever (or the second most, or even the eighth most).  But I guess after the doom and gloom of “Stand by Me,” the writers thought we were in need of something a little lighter . . . like a cheerleading competition!

spirit fingers

So, tighten up that high ponytail, puff up your pom-poms, and, for heaven sakes, leave that blue hair ribbon at home, because it’s time to “BRING IT ON!”

[As always, special thanks to Andre for the kickass screencaps.  This may be the first time, in a long time that he’s liked an episode more than I did.  Go figure!]

Drive-Thru Fast Food

car coming

She may be emotion free, and have terrible manners.

dont feel anything

kind of dead

But our Bad Elena is an incredible little student.  Look how effortlessly she perfected the Katherine and Damon method of Roadside Dine n’ Dash!

car parallel 1

car parallel 2 holding on my heart

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One small problem, of course.  For an undead girl, Bad Elena makes for a very unconvincing corpse.  At least Katherine and Damon bloodied their faces and went easy on the guyliner, for their “Monthly Street Lie-In.”  Not only was Bad Elena’s makeup flawless, her outfit unwrinkled, and her hair un-mussed, on her Roadkill Debut, but, for whatever reason, girlfriend decided to lay in the road, SPREAD EAGLED?

spread eagle

It kind of makes you wonder what Bad Elena was supposedly doing, before she was “hit by a car,” to make her “land” in such a precarious position.  Cheerleading, perhaps?  Or, maybe, something even more “athletic” . . .

delena sex real

ian says awesome

Anywhoo, our nameless, identity-free, unsuspecting, driver stops to help Roadkill Elena (as all nameless, identity-free, unsuspecting, drivers inevitably do), and ends up with a neck-full-of gore for her trouble.

friday yet

“Is it Friday yet?”

Have no fear, Nameless, Identity-free, Unsuspecting Driver!  Damon Salvatore has arrived to rescue you!

rescue

“Elena, darling.  Save some room for dessert!”

 I mean, sure, you are still probably going to be spending the next month of your life, sporting the ugliest neck hickey in the History of Neck Hickeys.  But hey, look on the bright side, at least you still have a neck!

happy elena

Damon tells Elena to “practice some restraint.” It’s worthwhile noting that this comment that would have been a lot funnier, had it been said by Season 1 Damon . . .

rawr damon

. . . than by Season 4 Damon, who — much to Delena fans’ chagrin — has somehow managed to only have sex with Elena ONE TIME, since this whole Sire Bond storyline crapped on graced our screens.

is this real

Season 4 Damon is the Granddaddy of Restraint, at least when it comes to his superhuman ability to nurse these . . .

blue balls

Coed Naked Elena

Damon drags a bloody faced, perpetually bored looking, but decidedly less hungry, Elena back home.  Shortly thereafter, at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Daddy Damon has a “family meeting” with Mommy Stefan, and Judgmental-Older Sister Caroline about how to handle their new unruly vampire baby.

listen

“Are they talking about me?  They are totally talking about me, aren’t they?”

Sidenote:  I did find myself briefly amused by the fact that, of ALL the houses in Mystic Falls, the SALVATORE water supply, just so happens to be the only one not laced with vervain.  Not only is that ridiculously convenient plot wise — how else would we get to see five glorious minutes of Damon singing in the shower, every other episode? — it’s also SUCH a major failure on the part of the Mayor.   I mean, Mystic Falls doesn’t seem like that BIG of a town, right?  In fact, I’d go as far as to say that at least 15% of the town’s vampire population currently lives, has lived at, or WILL live at La Casa de Rich and Awesome.  And THAT’S the house they miss vervaining?

surrounded by idiots

Then again, this guy is related to Bonnie.  So, maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised . . .

2 22 bloody nose bonnie

Sorry, to all you Bonnie lovers out there.  I’m not sorry.

(Speaking of everyone’s favorite Witch Who Joined the Cult of Silas, girlfriend was notably absent from this week’s cheer festivities, thus proving that Shane/Silas ruins EVERYTHING . . . even extracurricular activities.)

fanboy 2

But back to this All-Important Family Meeting, Elena walks in on it, as unruly vampire babies are wont to do.  But, here’s the kicker, she’s TOTALLY NAKED . . . which would be a lot more surprising, if we hadn’t seen it in the promos.

naked elena

naked torrence

Still, it was fun to see the various characters’ reactions, to Elena in her birthday suit.  They were embarrassed (Stefan), amused (Damon), and aghast (Caroline) respectively.

soapy damon

see naked

the show

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By the way, did you notice how Elena’s “It’s not like you haven’t all seen it before” statement included Caroline?  Now, THAT would make for a great fanfiction  . . .

There Goes the Neighborhood

Before Elena heads off for her first day back to school in about eight episodes since her “dehumanizing,” she and Damon play a quick game of Sire Says.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, Sire Says, is a lot the Simon Says game you used to play as kids, except the commands take a lot longer to carry out than your typical, “jump on one leg,” “pat your head, while rubbing your tummy” sort of instructions.  Plus, rather than saying the typical “Sire Says,” prior to giving a command, Damon is forced to say something like, “If you really loved me you’d . . .”

want you to do

(Where have we heard that one before, ladies?)

But here’s the rub.  BAAAAAAD Elena doesn’t love anybody anymore, which kind of puts the kibosh on the whole “Sire Bond” thing.

soap dish smash

The good news about that, is that Damon can finally sex with Elena, without worrying about it being . . . you know . . . Sire Bond Sex.

damon-s-dance-o

The bad news is that, without the Sire Bond to force her to switch her emotions back on, BAAAAD Elena could very well end up being BAAAAD Elena FOREVER . . . or at least until the next Sweeps period . . .

damon soulful crying

The Quick and the Undead

In non-Elena related news (Who am I kidding?  Everything on this show somehow ties back to Elena.) , Hayley (Remember her?) is wandering around some random gas station when some hot, soon-to-be-dead, vampire comes thisclose to making her into a tasty werewolf burger.

going to eat

meat with eyes

And you are never going to guess who saves her?

nite bite

Wait, yeah you are, because you already saw the episode. It’s Klaus.  You see, Katherine wants Hayley dead, because Hayley was a party to Katherine’s plans to steal the cure, and, therefore, might know her whereabouts.  And Klaus wants Hayley alive, for the exact same reason.  Comprende?

nodding oh yeah

Now, Klaus has two people to mine for information about Katherine’s whereabouts: (1) Hayley, obviously; and (2) the now-dying-of-werewolf bite guy who just tried to kill Hayley on Katherine’s behalf.  So, he makes things easier for himself, by sending Damon and Rebekah after the one he doesn’t want to f*&k.  Convenient, right?

fantastic

How’s this for a small world?  When Damon finds Hayley’s would-be killer / Katherine’s minion, it turns out that he knows the guy!  It’s some hot vamp named “Will” from New York.  So, Damon decides to do what any self-respecting vampire would do, when he meets up with an old dying friend from New York . .  . he rips his heart out.  Nice knowing ya, Hot Will!  See ya in next week’s flashbacks!

pull heart

“Damon, don’t leave me here to die.  You’re breaking my heart!”

heart tug

smirky damon

“Problem solved!”

Also, in not-related-to-Elena news, it turns out that the mystery person whose been gorging on the local hospital blood supply is . . . wait for it . . . SILAS.  Be afraid, Scooby Gang!  Be very afraid!

surprised-face

Speaking of scary . . .

Cheerleading is a bloodsport . . .

With this odd expression on her face that makes her look like a Stepford Wife controlled by Dr. Evil . . .

blue ribbon

dr-evil

. . . Bad Elena politely requests that Cheer Captain Caroline let her back on the cheerleading squad.  Cheer Captain Caroline (who, come to think of it, bares a striking resemblance to Cheer Captain Torrence, from the first Bring it on Movie)

cheerleader again

dunst make out

. . . thinks this is an AWESOME idea . . . possibly because, in addition to spiking the town’s water supply with Vervain, the Mayor has also spiked it with Stupid.

Damon eye roll

I mean, seriously, how did Vampire Barbie not realize that this was going to end badly.  Hasn’t she ever seen Jennifer’s Body?

Caroline’s questionable judgment aside, Elena is immediately allowed back on the Cheerleading Squad.  And, then, literally the next minute, she’s at a cheer competition.  Now, that’s impressive.  I wonder what poor freshman got [eaten] kicked off the travel squad bus, so that Elena could compete.  Perhaps, it was this one .  . .

april 1

. . . Haven’t seen the generally useless and ridiculously annoying perky April Young lately, have we?  Wouldn’t it be great if, she somehow ended up being Silas?  Just saying . . .

As someone who has attended regional sports competitions in high school, I can tell you, it’s never a good idea to leave your crap on the bus.  ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS take your crap off the bus, OK?  For one thing, those meets are looooooong. You are typically there for hours, and are usually only competing for maybe 7 minutes of that time, if you are lucky.  So, you are definitely going to want to have your crap with you while you wait.

left my crap on bus

“I left my crap on the bus.”

“Haha, moron!”

Also, I’m sure, by now, you’ve noticed that all school buses look alike.  So, the chance of you actually locating yours, when your bus driver isn’t smoking in the front seat, are about as likely as TVD hooking up Matt with Klaus, this season.  And even if you do find it, there’s about a 95% chance it’s locked up tight, which means you’re not getting in there, until that meet is OVER!

Another reason not to leave your crap on the bus? Elena Gilbert might come there, EAT YOU, and take away your ugly blue ponytail ribbon.

on bus

like ribbon 1

like ribbon 2

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When Caroline finds Elena with a TOTALLY NOT MATCHING WITH HER RED UNIFORM blue ponytail ribbon, she is SUPER PISSED .  . . though I’m not sure whether she’s more angry about the whole “eating the competition” thing, or the fact that Elena’s blue ribbon is like totally clashing with the team uniform . . .  Whatever, the reason, she gives Elena a piece of her mind.

not cheerleading

stop me

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cheerocracy

This, in turn, prompts Elena to let Caroline fall on her ass during Cheer Pyramid time.

ploppy

life on my back

“Last time Elena got me on my back, I was having a lot more fun . . .”

Bring it On Torrence would NEVER have stood for that!  It’s time for revenge, Caroline.  Shove that Spirit Stick right up Elena’s ass . . .

spirit stick drop

Or, maybe, just have Stefan do that for you.  Outside Cheer Town, Stefan responds to Elena’s boredly hitting on him, by vervaining her ass and dragging her back home.

in my arms

“I think this is the most play I’ve gotten from Elena all season.”

Meanwhile, back at Klaus House  . . .

The “Art” of Seduction

Haley is not so much admiring, as, insulting Klaus’ artwork, while Klaus attempts, with only limited success, to extract from Tyler’s former Girl Friday information about Katherine’s whereabouts.  Klaus admits that he uses art as a way to exert control over the world around him.  Funny, because that’s exactly how Haley uses sex!

seduce

Klaus wants Caroline, and information about Katherine (which Hayley might have).  Hayley wants Tyler, and information about her long lost family (which Klaus might know, based on his remark about her birthmark).  They agree to form an unholy alliance to help one another get what they want.  Instead of shaking hands on the deal, like normal humans, Klaus and Hayley decide to screw on it, which, I guess, is like shaking private parts.

klaus sex 1

klaus sex 2

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laid 2

getting laid

All right, now I know a lot of fans have been bitching about the whole Klaus / Haley sexual interlude thing.  They say the two actors have no chemistry with one another.  They say the whole scene seemed less designed to drive the plot, and more designed to promote the spinoff, The Originals, in which both characters have already been awarded starring roles.  They have a point . . .

thinking damon bitemesomerhalder

But, here’s the thing . . . I’m GLAD Klaus finally got laid on camera.  For one thing, the audience has gone way too long, without seeing Joseph Morgan shirtless, weird Sesame Street-esque triangle back tattoo, notwithstanding.  Are Klaus and Haley a great love match?  Absolutely not.  But it was starting to stretch the realms of believeability that a hormonally-charged, perpetual 20-something, would remain entirely celibate for two-plus years, all because he “fell in love” with a high school girl.  No matter how much Damon loved Elena, he was constantly getting laid, throughout the first three seasons of the series.  And if TVD had any sense of realistic character development, that’s exactly what Klaus should have been doing this whole time .  . . you know, when he wasn’t plotting World Domination and /or staking his siblings, and/or shamelessly hitting on Stefan . . .

klaus face

House Party Munchies

Over at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Elena tells Stefan that she remembers him being good in bed . . .

remember sex

good sexx

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stefan salvatore fist pump best

. . . but only in a clinical way . . . not in a way that makes her want to marry him, and have his vampire babies .. . because that’s not what BAAAAD Elena is about.

What is BAAAAD Elena about, you ask?  PARTIES!

dancing elena

3 8 dance

That’s right!  Our impressively efficient Evil Elena somehow manages to invite the ENTIRE SCHOOL to Stefan’s house all within her five minute conversation with him.  Talk about speed text messaging!  She must have learned that from THIS GUY . . .

texting

Damon and Beks arrive at the party, just in time for Damon to tell Klaus Barbie that she shouldn’t really want the cure, because humans are boring . . . well, except for Human Elena, of course . . .

Break on Through

Having survived her brush with Cheer Death, Caroline arrives at the party, SUPER PISSED at her gal pal, Elena.  Her and Stefan are very worried about the state of their friend’s soul, indeed.  But not worried enough to keep them from DANCING . . . HOLLA!

pickup sss

dancing steroline

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dont dance

Despite Stefan having only recently finished sexing up Rebekah, and Caroline only recently having “split” with Tyler (more on that in a bit), these two have been flirting with one another, something fierce lately.   Do I smell a future hookup?  Elena sure seems to . . .

jealous emotion

“Why do I look so jealous?   I’m not supposed to have emotions, this week.”

Man, is this group getting incestuous. . .

We interrupt this dating game to bring you Elena trying to EAT CAROLINE’S MOM!

elena what

drinking drug use

eating mom

“I knew becoming a cop was a mistake.  I should have become a pirate, like I wanted to back when I was a kid.”

pissed car

oh hell to the no

Watch it, Elena!  You almost killed the only parental figure left alive in Mystic Falls.  You’re going to pay . . .

It’s girl fight time!  BRING IT ON!

shut up make me

3 6 warrior elena

strangle regina

And, once again, the Salvatore brothers must come to the rescue . . .

turn on

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This used to be my boyfriend’s house (Now it’s my ex-boyfriend’s house)

Poor Caroline!  Now, I’ve heard of guys breaking up with girls by voicemail, text message, post-it note, even Facebook / Twitter status update.  But I’ve never heard of a guy breaking up with a girl by deeding his house to her ex-boyfriend!  Ouch!

tyler points

And us fans thought JerBear got a bad send off, when his stinky corpse got burnt to a crisp, along with the Gilbert house.  Tyler got two minute voice over, in the same episode where Caroline very much looked like she’d already started moving on with Stefan.  Now, that’s gotta hurt!

crying care bear

“Dammit!  Now, I’ll have to choose from one of the other eight boys on this show currently hitting on me.”

In lighter news, Matt Donovan, Teenage Mansion Owner, just became the RICHEST poor guy, ever!

hey ladies

3 1 high matt tbtvdgifs

“I’ll buy a limousine, instead!”

Maybe now, he can finally stop working at the Only Bar / Social  Establishment in Mystic Falls, and start trying to find himself a REAL storyline . . .

A girl can dream, right?

On the Road Again . . .

thirsty damon 2

dont care

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Pop Quiz:  Where’s the best place to take your now- humanity-free girlfriend on a road trip?

stefan shrug

Personally, I’d go with Vegas.  I mean, they call it Sin City for a reason, right.  Damon, however, opts to bring Elena to New York City, former home of the now literally heartless Will.

city never sleeps 1

city never sleeps 2

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This could be promising . . .

Until next time, Fangbangers!

waves

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

23 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

23 responses to “Elena the Cheerleader Slayer – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Bring it On”

  1. MarLin

    I liked this ep! After all the doom and gloom of the previous episodes, I enjoyed the light-heartedness of this one. Even No-Humanity-Elena was kinda cool. Still annoying and even childish (dropping Caroline, I mean, come ON, Elena), but slightly more cool (haha, that bitchfight). Possibly because there was no whining.

    Also, the mayor didn’t miss vervaining La Casa de Rich and Awesome. The Salvatore brothers installed some kind of fancy waterfilter according to Caroline.

    Good riddance to the sire bond btw. However they could have known that the sire bond wouldn’t work anymore. No feelings = no sire bond = no control over how you (Elena) act.

    I like Damon & Rebekah together, they have great lines: “Impressive. You’re like Sherlock Holmes with brain damage.” Ha!

    Overall it was light and fun. Very looking forward to the next ep. ROADTRIP TO NEW YORK!!

    • Andre

      Actually Caroline just said something about a water filter they have, nothing about it being installed. Also, as typical for this show the explanation makes even less sense. Where do they get a filter that targets vervain? And no you can’t say its a general waterfilter, because for there to be enough vervain in the water to affect vampires, there would be alot in it and all that plant material would be visible in the water.If there was so few vervain in it to be invisible to the general population, lets just assume this is some sort of world where such a diluted substance would work, you would need a special chemical filter or so to bind that stuff. Also they would need alot of vervain to supply a whole town.
      And even still, they are vervaining the water instead of outright attacking the Salavatores… yeah that makes sense.

      What is next? April will transform into Carrie but don’t kill anyone?

    • Hey MarLin! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting. It will be interesting to see how Humanity Free Elena and Damon behave as a couple, outside the confines of Mystic Falls. After all, it’s not as though turning off her emotions has caused Elena to lose her memories. She has all this inner knowledge of Damon, and what their relationship was like.

      And just like Julie Plec said, unlike Katherine, Humanity Free Elena is honest, and incapable of manipulation and guile. This gives me higher hopes for the Rooftop Sex scene, than I would have had otherwise. Though I’m sure someone’s going to end up cockblocking that one. That’s just one of the tragedies of being a Delena fan. 🙂

      • Andre

        This is what Plec said? And you believe that? Julie, seriously, you really buy into that?
        What do you think it was what Elena did in the last episode? Does that look like honest and free of guile to you? What do you think it was when she took her revenge on Caroline? And don’t tell me the “new” Elena cannot lie.
        Also what does Plec think the virtue of humanity is? If that is what she is referring to any way or whether she just once more throws concepts and words in without any regard what they mean. The virtue of humanity includes love, social intelligence and kindness. And the former and the latter do by definition not allow the form of manipulation and dishonesty that is usually referred to. So if you are “Humanity free” you cannot at the same time not be manipulative and not be dishonest.

      • Here’s the article where Julie Plec talks about the difference between Humanity Free Elena and Katherine

        http://tvline.com/2013/02/22/vampire-diaries-season-4-spoilers-julie-plec-jeremy-death-elena-humanity/

        And this is the quote:

        “Everything Katherine does is a sexual manipulation, is in her own best interest, for her own survival. She will plead and flirt and tease and lie and mindf—, excuse my language, anyone and everyone in order to fill her own best interest. Elena is more blunt and honest and, “It is what it is, and I am what I am and want what I want. And right now I would like to feed on that girl over there. And I resent you for trying to stop me.” Elena is just more direct about getting exactly what it is that she wants. She doesn’t need to rely on the tricks that Katherine has to pull out of her bag.”

        Do I believe her? Absolutely, but not for the reasons you might think. Yes, from a morality perspective, one would be hard pressed to argue that someone without their humanity would have any qualms about lying or manipulating. However, I don’t think Elena will lie or manipulate, for one simple reason: the writers have to differentiate her from Katherine, and this seems to be the most logical way to do it.

        Think about it. When Elena was human, Katherine was basically, for all intents and purposes, Elena’s evil twin. And it was relatively easy to differentiate between the two. One was a vampire, one wasn’t. One wore tight clothes, had curly hair, and wore a lot of makeup, the other was more casual. One was morally ambiguous, the other was almost frustratingly saintly.

        Then, Elena became a vampire, and the lines got blurrier, but the basic principles still applied. Elena was GOOD, Katherine was EVIL.

        Now, Elena is “evil” too. So, the writers have to come up with a new way to differentiate the characters. And this way makes the most sense. Even with their humanity off, characters must remain essentially themselves. Damon, Katherine, and Klaus, are snarky, sassy, and funny, whether they are being villainous or not. Stefan, Bonnie, Elena and Caroline are more serious, and not particularly funny. So, it wouldn’t make sense for a character like Elena or Stefan to suddenly sprout a sense of humor, or a seductive nature, just because their humanity was off.

        Most of Elena’s personality is dictated by her “goodness,” which is why Humanity Free Elena has so little personality, and seems, as you said “robotic.” Elena’s brutal honesty is a way for the writers to keep her “bad,” while still allowing her to maintain some semblance of self.

        So, yeah, I don’t think Elena will MANIPULATE Damon in next week’s episode. She will want to hook up with him, because she’s horny, and he’s hot. And she’ll do it, without inhibition, or guile. But there might not be any emotion behind it. And that will hurt Damon, if he allows himself to pick up on it.

      • Andre

        I know all this “it’s logical for the writers” but this is not a legitimate concept in itself, not from a perspective of good writing. This is bad writing per excellence. They either don’t care about what they created or they are simply incapable. I know many things have to be this and that, e.g. the big daddy leaving so the child can grow up (like Giles in Buffy), but it has to fit the alternative reality that was created and that is simply not what TVD does. TVD just hammers it into shape the way they want to without actual regard for what they created.
        If you really want to do good storytelling you can’t just say “no wait this can’t be so it has to be different no matter what”. It has to fit what you created and this is not anything the writers have done for the past 2 and a half seasons. They did the direct opposite.

        And the article… if this is what Plec believes she is just as bad of a writer as Stephenie Meyer and apparently doesn’t really know where the show is and what she created.
        This is not “the darkest place possible” for Elena not even remotely, that would be e.g. if she is haunted by her dead family and they blame her. And yes I am speaking of before the humanity got turned off. Also Plec wrote that it was about the “evolution of Elena as a vampire”…
        What evolution? Due to the sire bond she was never herself to begin with, so how could she evolve?
        And Elena is not by any stretch of definition the “most compassionate character”, that title clearly goes to Caroline. She might have been in season 1 but these days are long over.

        And her statement “so that Elena, the most compassionate character, would become dis-compassionate and turn her humanity off” is plain ridiculous. Her statement would imply a choice on Elena’s part in the eyes of most readers. But there was no choice. The sirebond took that away. This is not evolution in any way, at least not in the way that is surely meant (since I doubt Plec understands the concept of the evolution of life), but rather shaping something with a sledgehammer. The choice about whether to life with the feelings or not was taken away from Elena, we do not even know whether she would have consented. Technically what Damon did is mindrape since he forced her to turn her emotions off. He could at least have asked her first, to give her some sort of choice, but not even that they did.

        And “Everybody is equally important to her”? Since when? She had no problem whatsoever to have her friends in danger. Especially Bonnie. She mostly ignored Bonnie and her feelings.

        And her statement that “it’s going to be very difficult to bring her back from this place that she finds [herself in]” has as much weight in my mind as a chicken feather. They claimed stuff like that time and again and always these “big problems” were over in a few episodes, at most, or were never big problems to begin with.

        They wouldn’t need to claim that Elena is honest and all the other crap to make clear that Elena is not Katherine. Elena cannot be Katherine. Elena’s male dependence and her stupidity are far too big of a factor for her to be anything like Katherine.

        And she even thinks that “Elena has not had the easiest time of it, becoming a vampire.” Oh really, what exactly was so bad about it? She had very much control at first, she knew what was coming and didn’t have to figure it out by herself and she never tried to eat anybody she cared about against that person’s wishes. The problems only started when Damon messed it up with the whole sirebond thing. Something he should have noticed right away. So what exactly “felt counter-intuitive to this character that we had defended so strongly as a human” in the first place? What exactly was it?

        And clearly Plec cannot keep it consistent. In the article she states “What is the truth of what she feels? How does the sire bond play into all this.” What relevance is that now when it was already stated in the show that sirebond doesn’t affect feelings? (Even though that is already inconsistent with how she introduced it in the first place.)

        “When all is said and done, everybody recognized that in the worst possible scenario, which is what they were in, it truly was the only viable solution.”
        Yeah, of course she would say that. Because that was what she was trying to sell and maybe even beliefs herself. In that case she is either deluded or has no life experience whatsoever. This is far away from being the worst possible scenario; it’s not even halfway there. And they didn’t even try any other way. It was just stated so. And they use the vampires age to say “hey, they are so old, they have experience and so they know” to give this crap they are doing the illusion of wisdom when in truth they let them act like idiotic teenagers. These age old vampires are on par with Magnus Bane in the Mortal Instruments, that guy is at least 300 years old (Clare gave different ages for him in each book) but he acts like a douche and petulant little child that didn’t get his favorite cookie.

        And her reaction to the question why Matt didn’t get the Gilbert ring just shows that she doesn’t care for those characters that are not white and rich. Even if Elena would think the way she says, Damon could still have given the ring to Matt since from Damon’s perspective the ring if of no use to anybody but Matt. And even if Damon didn’t want to, someone else could have suggested it. Especially for Caroline it would make sense. But no word about that. Together with the fact that Bonnie, Jeremy and Matt are just tools it makes perfect sense to say that Plec did what she did because she doesn’t care about these three. They are just convenient tools for her to be taken and discarded as she pleases.
        Her statement that “Bonnie is being extremely controlled and manipulated right now by this Shane/Silas figure” fits right into this, since Bonnie has been the magical plot device ever since mid-season 2. That is what she was, is and as long as Plec and Williamson are in charge what she ever will be.

        And her last two sentences:
        “As far as we know, Shane on the island has met his terrible demise, although we did not see him take his last breath. You never know on this show.”

        “That was definitely not the last we’ll see of Katherine.”

        Apparently they are supposed to say “be happy people, anything can happen here.” But it really says “we don’t care about the rules we ourselves have created. We don’t care about consistency, because we know fans will swallow whatever we throw at them.” Not that this is new to me, I noticed that ever since she stated that there is a possibility of vampire Caroline being impregnated by Tyler.

        And really Julie, why? Why are you doing this? Why do you reward these bad writers? What is it that this show gives you that you simply overlook its legion of flaws?
        And why do you hate Bonnie so much? She is not even a real character anymore, so what is there to hate?
        Is it Delena? If yes why? You yourself made it clear in your recap that you are not satisfied with it. So what is it? Why do you and so many other people makes this crappy show a hit? There must be something.

        And one further thing. You might want to take a look at this:
        http://tvline.com/2013/03/20/women-tv-strong-female-characters-michonne-khaleesi/#26/dw_mashup_3-19-13/

  2. Just one caveat: I think that they vervained the Salvatore’s house, the Salvatores just have a fancy water filter! Shout out to Jennifer’s Body, woot. Matt and Klaus? Now that would be a hilarious pairing. Or if they ever developed his characters, it could actually be an interesting one. I am rooting for him and Rebekah, mainly because, while I like twisted romances, I am generally very bored of the evil boy loves good girl trope. In this case, we’ve always seen different sides to Rebekah. Anyway, got off on a shipping case.

    The Bring It On references startlingly appropriate, haha. Oh, I just assumed Klaus was getting laid or doing whatever else gets his rocks off on a regular basis. But then Caroline said that Stefan wasn’t a man slut. Er, before then I had assumed that vampires killed and screwed pretty much as they pleased, Stefan included. Because it’s not like having sex is more egregious than MURDER. Except for in some times and places.

    Regarding the mansion… HOW WILL MATT PAY THE PROPERTY TAXES? Peeved that Tyler’s not coming back, as well. I loved Klaus, but I thought he would have been a better character had they killed him earlier. Get lots of build up, come in and ruin everyone’s lives, and then maybe get one free pass at the end of season two… but eventually the gang gets their shit together and kills him, and Stefan would play a key role. OK, they kind of did that already. But then they brought him back immediately, diminishing its impact. Or maybe Klaus ran away, never to be heard from again except at a most inopportune moment. Don’t mind my ramblings. I just feel like Klaus replacing Tyler as a regular cast member at this point doesn’t make sense. I know he’ll leave soon, but I thought getting rid of Tyler was bizarre.

    • Andre

      Trevino is still in the credits, like McQueen. So either they just suck at this or both actors will be back.

    • Hey Noelle! Whatever happened to Matt and Rebekah? It seemed like they were going to be a “thing” for awhile. And then the plot just seemed to disappear into thin air. (Kind of like some male characters tend to do on this show. ;)). Perhaps, this has something to do with Rebekah’s “spinoff” destiny making any relationship more than a casual sex one (like the ones she currently has with Damon and Stefan) increasingly unlikely, as the date of the airing of the backdoor pilot looms ever closer.

      Still, I think the coupling was a bit of a missed opportunity. It surely would have been more fun than say . . . Matt and April. Zzzzzzz.

      I’m with you about the abrupt nature of Tyler’s departure. Perhaps, Andre is correct about both Tyler and Jeremy eventually returning. But still, it does seem like quite a few males have left the show, just one TVD seems to be needing them most. (After all, with Klaus and Elijah both leaving for Sequel Town in a few weeks. Who does that leave? Shane/Silas?)

  3. Andre

    Julie, I liked this recap, I genuinely and fully liked it. It even made me laugh a couple of times. Astounding what a difference it can make when I read a review of yours that is not about an episode that makes my blood boil. For my last comment I needed two weeks after seeing this show. This I made in less than two days (remember readers I am in Europe so I see it later than you do, unless I want to watch it at 4 am in the morning, and of course I have to check for grammatical errors, and Julie pointed me towards the movie “The First Time”).

    But I think you didn’t quite get it right. I doubt that I liked this episode more than you did, albeit when you wrote in your mail that it was dull I had my suspicions, I mean when even a staunch Delena like you, who gets her Delena, finds an episode dull it must be bad. And wow, you were so right.
    This episode contained even more plotholes than normal for this show; it was just full of inconsistencies and plot conveniences. It was shit and even worse: it was dull shit. That is why I was so utterly calm when writing this comment. Because it was all so dull, the most nauseating moment was the start when they showed “Elena’s breakdown” (man was that a stoic performance considered the context) but that was it. This episode was called “Bring it on” but it should have been called “Dulla-lulla-land and the parade of plotholes.” Because it was dull and had one plothole after another, showing exactly what is wrong with this show once again. How anybody could actually enjoy this will forever be a mystery to me.

    And you know what is the only thing that actually bugs me with this episode?
    People thinking it is good. People will think this ton of dull shit is good storytelling. They will love it, they will kiss Plec’s fat racist ass and maybe even consider this stupid, racist and sexist show good and especially this episode, because there is “new Delena”. I guess Bill Maher was simply right back than:

    I agree, basically BAAAAD Elena is not different from normal Elena. Selfcentered, whiny (seriously if she doesn’t care why say it all the time?), destructive and annoying. Can’t she just get hit by a meteor? I mean come on this show is full of inconsistencies and plot conveniences anyway so why not at least one that looks good?
    And surely she was neither cool before, nor now; she is basically the same egoistic, self-centered and manipulative bitch she ever was. The only difference is that this time it is thrown into our face without the illusion of her “caring” about others.

    And you know what? I think this episode sets the record of things we agree on. Most of the things you made fun off are the things I would make fun off.

    So let’s get started.

    You know the cheerleading competition and all… Didn’t Shane give Bonnie a graduation present only a couple of episodes ago? Was that an early present, reeeaaaalllllyyyyy early, or did some witch create a hole through time and space and the characters can go through now to get to the time when they actually could do cheerleading? I mean I don’t know how American schools work, but shouldn’t they be all in exam fever?
    And you know, for what where the cheerleaders cheering for anyway?

    Yeah the spread eagle… Weird, the whole thing and Elena’s expression…. Just weird. And boring, even after the first 4 minutes of the episode I thought that it was shit and look how right I was. And I think we didn’t see such an obvious vampire victim ever since the start of season 3. Remember the girl in short shorts where it couldn’t be more obvious that she was a vampire victim if there had been a neosign pointing at her throat saying “place fangs here?” That is how obvious this victim was. And since the average IQ in this universe is 5 of course the woman fell for it and thought Elena was danger. Ups I mean in danger of course. I mean Elena isn’t dangerous of course; having one person after the other drop dead around you and surround yourself and even dating serial killers is totally normal and not dangerous at all.

    But either way, was that even intentional of her to lie on the street to attract victims? Sure the execution sucks, as usual, but at least it would make more sense than her just running around with her botoxed face and suddenly be on the ground without any badboy vampire on top of her.
    Hey maybe, that was the reason. She imagined sex under the stars and her arms were spread because in her imagination she had sex with Stefan and Damon at the same time. You know one on each side of her. 😀

    Speaking of the people in this universe: Wow they not only have an astoundingly low IQ they also have superhealing. The victim got bitten into her throat, like so many people in this show before and surely after this episode, and she still walks away from it. Wow, do you think Wolverine and Lady Deathstrike fathered and birthed all of them?

    No can’t be, in that case they would be able to deliver awesome fights.

    You know Damon lecturing anybody about leaving a trail of bodies would not only have been funnier in season 1. They could have used that scene to show that there is a connection to the earlier seasons, instead of totally unused stuff like the diaries they at least could have made him say something like “I know” or so, something to indicate that he did the same crap once and learned from it.

    Yeah daddy Damon and mommy Stefan… the two doing what they always do, arguing about how to treat Elena best… hm, I fail to see more and more where the difference should be between good and bad Elena. I mean shouldn’t there be some fundamental difference between the two?

    And yeah apparently the Salvatores do have the only water filter in town and apparently the filter manages to filter vervain. I guess they have it from a witch, hey that is what TVD witches do, they serve vampires. And why shouldn’t they right? This is TVD, slavery never really existed and that nearly every character in some sort of spotlight is white is pure coincidence.
    But I think you missed the most idiotic point of it all:
    The major has the resources to constantly put vervain into the water supply, but does nothing so far to kill the resident vamps? Well, like I suspected when I knew that they would be introducing Bonnie’s dad; he is a plot device just like Bonnie.

    As for her absence… Typical, when the plot device is inconvenient (like stopping Elena or generally kicking her ass, no scratch that, good females on this show are not allowed to kick butt, more to that later) or just unnecessary, its kept in the closet. I mean think about it, Bonnie is again off-screen and they need Caroline to tell this… What does this remind me off? Oh yeah, season 3 when they had Caroline telling the stuff Bonnie should have told herself. If Bonnie would be an actual character, she could have done so herself. But nope, the plot device doesn’t need a voice of her own.
    You know making Bonnie’s dad the mayor might be another symptom of this show not being able to step outside of Mystic Falls. I mean from all parents, at least technical ones, only him, Liz and Matt’s mother Kelly are still alive. However I wonder whether the writers even know that Matt has a mother.

    Oh yeah another thing: Did you notice the incredible stupidity of that scene? Last episode Stefan at least had the idea to turn water on to not be overheard but here they do nothing of that sort to keep Elena from hearing anything. Well this is the “For Elena” show so the laws of this universe must be constantly bent and broken to provide Elena with everything needed for her plot. Another obvious example was during cheerleading praxis. Oh and the way how they had her look only shortly at Jeremy’s memorial paper (wow he must be important to get his own memorial) and then Elena switching to cheerleading was a silly attempt to show us that she “doesn’t care.” You know who also apparently doesn’t care? The people of Mystic Falls. No stares, no “sorrys”, nothing at all. And of course no investigators from other parts of the country investigating the high murder rate in Mystic Falls or any curfew or any people becoming paranoid. Damn at least in Buffy they showed a few times that the people actually noticed it (most obviously when Buffy was given the “Class Protector award”) and chose to just carry on and ignore it.
    Sure you could say they do here as well, but then you the viewer would have to make that explanations for the writers and that is not your job or place or anything. They are the writers; they are the storytellers, so it’s their job to explain things. Man these people who are responsible for this shit are lazy. Again, how can anybody like this incredibly stupid show?

    Personally I doubt that the line “nothing you guys haven’t seen before” actually referred to Caroline. This show is far to centered on the main three lamers for that. It was probably one of these scenes were the supporting cast is just extra that only serves as filler.

    ““If you really loved me you’d . . .”
    (Where have we heard that one before, ladies?)”
    In pretty much every lame-ass attempt to portray such an ultimatum and obvious attempt at manipulation as romantic. We all heard that all the time when someone wants to force you to do something “out of love.”

    ” The bad news is that, without the Sire Bond to force her to switch her emotions back on, BAAAAD Elena could very well end up being BAAAAD Elena FOREVER . . . or at least until the next Sweeps period . . .”
    She will put the emotions back on in a few episodes. Not that they ever were switched off and… what is the difference between god Elena and bad Elena again?
    So because Elena has no feelings for Damon anymore the bond is broken… So if her emotions are back the bond is back again? Shouldn’t Stefan have been on and off siring to Katherine then? Or Damon, or Sage to Finn? Again, the “explanation” doesn’t actually explain anything.

    Now Hailey made a deal with Katherine? Seriously? They came off with that lousy story? Katherine told Hailey that she would help her and the stupid bitch (pun intended) believed that? Are they even trying to come off with something better than having Katherine as a plot device? It’s like there is no one else in this world who would want Klaus dead. And you know speaking of that, if Rebekah is kind of working against Klaus why hasn’t she tried to contact Elijah?
    But back to the topic at hand: I guess with this stupid scene we are a) supposed to assume that Katherine was so stupid to tell Hailey where she would be and b) we should be led to believe that these two are realistic allies. It is probably the show’s version of foreplay. I mean the women in this universe are all easy to have anyway, so why should there be normal foreplay?
    And did Hailey contact Klaus or he her?

    Actually I cannot remember Klaus actually sending Damon and Rebekah somewhere. Not really, he simply said that there was this vampire he had bitten. By the way, wouldn’t it be waaaaayyyyy more logical to imprison that one and get the information out of him? I mean Klaus could either compel him or offer his blood for healing, just in case the vampire is vervained. And speaking of being vervained, isn’t it astounding that the Salvatores need a water filter when they had drunk vervain already in season 2 (without showing any side effects although it should burn them from the inside) and thereby should have some immunity towards it now? And how did Rebekah get Klaus’ blood? Did he just gave it to her? If yes why not taking the vampire in himself for questioning as I suggested? And Damon put “Will” out of his misery because he was too far gone? Did you also notice how “Will” didn’t even put up an inch of a fight against Klaus? Klaus only grabbed his jacket and “Will” (oh my gosh that isn’t a reference to “Will & Grace” and thereby a hint that they would visit New York isn’t it?) didn’t even try to get rid of Klaus, he just stood there and let Klaus do his monologue. Man that just reeks of convenience and “big twist” (not really of course, rather what the show sells as “big”). Plot convenience. And again lazy writing of course.

    And Damon has the “smart” idea to search for the infected vamp at a hospital where everything is calm. Again the actual explanation is a stupid attempt to hide the true one. Not that a hospital with its blood supplies wouldn’t be a good idea in the case of a simply starved vampire, but one who had a werewolf/hybrid bite and deteriorated as much as this one, clearly would have caused trouble already. And … I guess since this one is male he follows the Damon route of slow deterioration due to his incredible male stamina instead of taking the Rose route like Caroline which is characterized by very fast deterioration since they are just weak females right. But enough of pointing out the shows blatant sexism (for now), let’s get back to the actual current topic:
    The real reason they were in that hospital was to show that blood is missing en masse. Which was pretty pointless, because any actual mystery in this case, since it doesn’t involve character development, could easily have been established via Sheriff Forbes’ reports and wouldn’t need this lame attempt to hide it. Also on whom and what will the resident vamps feed on now? Are there that many people passing through? Or will that never be addressed?
    And speaking of Liz and her few scenes: Did you notice what a lousy sheriff she is? One of the people responsible for all the shit is standing directly in her office and she says nothing. Again, no one blames the Salvatores anymore. Didn’t all the crap start with them? Apparently only Stefan takes a bit of responsibility.

    Man I had nearly forgotten about Silas for so long, what bliss it was. Now the lamer is back.
    And this “Silas steels blood because he is so thirsty” is just as stupid as it was last episode. If Silas needs to gorge on blood, why wait so long? Apparently he didn’t need it when he was newly awakened and a bleeding Bonnie was right there. By the way were does all that blood go in him? Even if he would be nothing more than a skin sack filled with blood he wouldn’t need that much. Will he next turn from Shane into a cave troll?

    And of course Silas would stay in Mystic Falls. Everyone stays in Mystic Falls. Even Klaus forgot his revenge against Tyler and stayed in Mystic Falls (seriously who here believes that they actually wrote a Klaus that is really interested in going after Tyler?).

    And so far I think Silas will be as scary as this:

    He won’t be April and April won’t get Carrie powers and not kill any of the resident vamps. Actually, what is she even good for so far? Why was she there in the show?

    Oh yeah the cheerleading scene. All those “shocked” faces… what did they think would happen? And what were the writers thinking in putting this up?
    Apparently the town’s residents were not only “spiked” with vervain, stupid and zero empathy they are obviously spiked with an inability to learn and generally process information (maybe an IQ of 5 was too high for these people). Even the vampires. Seriously, why doesn’t Caroline stop Elena from cheering? And why does no one notice that Elena deliberately didn’t catch Caroline? It’s not as though it was hidden or anything. She calmly walked backwards and even crossed her arms over her chest, directly looking at Caroline, totally calm. Wow, they all must have…. Is there a term for such a disorder? And I don’t just mean the audience I mean the writers, producers and whoever else is responsible for this shitty episode. Man even if they don’t make you angry these people still produce shit. I prefer rats over this. Sure they shit everywhere, but at least they don’t make episodes out of it.

    But you know I realized something:
    Caroline is a special vampire. She really is. She doesn’t need the cure, not at all. And you know why? Because she can turn her vampirism off. Need proof? Look at this.
    Vampirism on:

    Vampirism off:

    Here you even have her switch it on and off in mere seconds:

    Maybe she can heal herself back to being human like the zombies in warm bodies:

    So all you people, it’s not inconsistent that Caroline can take on Mason head on and now not land safely on her feet or get up quickly due to fast healing. It is not even inconsistent with the fact that the cheerleading squad had enough girls to catch Caroline anyway and so she never would have fallen.
    This isn’t bad writing, it’s not lazy or full off plotholes and an embarrassment to every storyteller and an insult to the intelligence of fans. No it’s actually a genius concept. 😀

    But back to the stuff at hand: if they do stunts like that, especially in such a crowded room with so little space, wouldn’t it be better to have some guys with muscles to catch them? I mean they would need less people on the field and everything would not be so crowded. You now like in “Bring it on”:

    That movie was actually funny, even if a bit cheesy:

    [Oh my gosh, is this dull episode supposed to be some sort of homage or cashing in on that film?]

    Is it the show’s inherent sexism or homophobia at work (you know due to the allegations that male cheerleaders are inherently gay [wow George Bush must be gay as well then]) in not allowing male cheerleaders even if it would allow for less extras and thereby save money or could they actually not find any male cheerleaders in the entire state where this was filmed?

    “As someone who has attended regional sports competitions in high school, I can tell you, it’s never a good idea to leave your crap on the bus.”
    Well you were in such competitions but apparently whoever is responsible for this scene either was never, and also didn’t bother to research, or simply didn’t care and wanted the most cliché and stupid way there is to show that Elena is now “badass and cool.” Yeah massive failure there in every case. How can you take someone with such a ribbon serious?

    I guess Stephen Hawkings was right when he said: “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.”
    At the very least these writers and producers embody this statement perfectly.

    “Also, I’m sure, by now, you’ve noticed that all school buses look alike. So, the chance of you actually locating yours, when your bus driver isn’t smoking in the front seat, are about as likely as TVD hooking up Matt with Klaus, this season. And even if you do find it, there’s about a 95% chance it’s locked up tight, which means you’re not getting in there, until that meet is OVER!”
    I had to smile again after reading this. Where you referring to entrance to the bus or the ones of Klaus and Matt? 😀

    “Elena Gilbert might come there, EAT YOU, and take away your ugly blue ponytail ribbon.”
    Yeah, that thing was ugly. And despite stereotype I have the fashion sensibility of a walnut and nonetheless I can see that. I am sure there were better ribbons in that hall. And did you notice that the innocent victim that was simply at the wrong time at the wrong time again pale, blue-eyed and blond? Hm…..
    And why was Elena wearing that thing anyway? It looked ridiculous. Was that some kind of homage to Catwoman from the The Dark Knight Rises? Could be possible. This show copied so much, why should they not be capable of copying that?

    I know Klaus’ speech about art was meant to give an insight into his “tortured” soul and the like but to me Klaus’ talk about art sounded like the words of a control freak. It probably is, considered how he usually acts. But this is TVD and in a show that plays the bad boy stereotype so much that it already jumped the shark several times it is of course the perfect foreplay.
    It was annoying that they couldn’t even keep the “love” out for a few minutes. That questioning Haley is rather inefficient in my eyes should be clear already but they had to fill that dull scene with talk about Tyler and Caroline, again. Do these two also have the superpower to make people talk about them time and again even if they barely know them?
    By the way, was it ever stated how Tyler even met Haley?

    And one thing: So Katherine escaped Klaus all this time by … I didn’t understand Hailey’s blubbering. Was she referring to Katherine basically throwing people in Klaus’s way?

    I personally don’t give a rat’s ass whether Klaus gets laid. The sex scene was pure plot convenience. And how does a 1000 year old vampire get tattoos? Shouldn’t their healing prevent the ink staying in?
    And according to the birthmark – it looks sooooo real doesn’t it – Haley is descended from a line of werewolves running around in Lousiana (spin-off). So Hailey is doing the Johnny Depp and is a “Native” now? Suddenly she is special? Is from a special line? Hm, where did I hear that before? Oh yeah, with pretty much everyone in this show that is in the spotlight. We had it with Elena, Jeremy, the Salvatores, Bonnie and since she is from a founding family Caroline. Even the Originals belong to a special line. The only one who is not is Matt and he barely has a place in this show anymore.

    Note: Seriously, people defend Depp’s role as tonto with saying that he has Native American ancestry. He said at the same time that he guessed he has some and also that his grandmother was Creek or Cherokee *rolleyes* Never mind that he is a white guy. Hey maybe Johnny will play a Native on TVD. I mean the Natives here were already white a thousand years ago so why not.
    And speaking of non-existence:
    Suddenly Mystic Falls has its token Asians, did you notice? They were there, full on with glasses.

    And come on you don’t really think Joseph Morgan is a 20 something right? I guess he is supposed to play that part, but he really isn’t.

    “And if TVD had any sense of realistic character development, that’s exactly what Klaus should have been doing this whole time . . . you know, when he wasn’t plotting World Domination and /or staking his siblings, and/or shamelessly hitting on Stefan . . .”
    Oh that was so right on so many levels 😀
    BUT
    I think you should have mentioned stalking blonds. 😉

    “… but only in a clinical way . . . not in a way that makes her want to marry him, and have his vampire babies .. . because that’s not what BAAAAD Elena is about.”
    You know, clinical sex is no fun. I can guarantee you that. Have these writers/producers any life experience or do they deliberately write this crap?

    “That’s right! Our impressively efficient Evil Elena somehow manages to invite the ENTIRE SCHOOL to Stefan’s house all within her five minute conversation with him. Talk about speed text messaging!”
    Apparently BAAAD Elena can bend time and space (and grant other people the ability to do so) and also people’s memories and affections. After all how else was she able to get all those people with all the drinks although she pretty much refrained from social contact with normal people for who knows how long? For being likeable? For attending social happenings. Actually, what do Mystic Falls teenagers actually do in their free time?
    I mean even in my case there was something, and I actually came from a pretty small village.

    “Damon and Beks arrive at the party, just in time for Damon to tell Klaus Barbie that she shouldn’t really want the cure, because humans are boring . . . well, except for Human Elena, of course . . .”
    Well, you know it’s the “For Elena” show, so of course Damon says that. Wasn’t there something about him confessing that he misses being human? And you know, what is so bad about vampirism in this show anyway?
    Without vampirism Rebekah would be ordinary… yeah right. And why exactly are you not ordinary when you are a vampire? I mean even with their current decimations, there must still be a lot of them around. Seriously what in this show is so special about being a vampire?
    Also Elena does whatever she wants and Caroline and Stefan just party? Lazy writing and plot convenience.

    “Why do I look so jealous? I’m not supposed to have emotions, this week.”
    Yeah, I had the same reaction. If Elena doesn’t care about anything, why is she acting like this? It’s not as though partying is any basic need like feeding or so. And why tell us all the time that she doesn’t care? Apparently the writers mean that but saying is not the same as showing. Giant plothole once again. And speaking of caring and feeling, why didn’t Damon just try to tell Elena to only feel a little bit at a time, slowly increasing it you know.

    ” Man, is this group getting incestuous. . .”
    Getting incestuous? Julie it already was. Think about it, any new blood was killed off, except for the Originals and they are already from Mystic Falls. Maybe that is the actual reason they are still around. Everyone from outside is pretty much dead. Talk about hate of outsiders.

    “And, once again, the Salvatore brothers must come to the rescue . .”
    Of course Stefan had to hold Caroline back, hey this show cannot have its good female cast use violence, unless in self-defense, and even that only sometimes. Beating Elena up would have sent a message home in my eyes. I mean what apart from violence would she understand now?
    Why do they even try to talk to her? If she really doesn’t care and does all this stuff she should deal with the consequences. But nooooo due to the show’s sexism, good girls are not allowed to try and use violence to solve their problems. Only the boys are allowed to do that. You know since they are also the only ones whose plans work on average. Except…. Wait did Elena’s “plans” actually work this time? Did her IQ rise to 6? Could it be that this is not Elena but rather a transvestite?
    Naaaa who cares, she’s gonna mess up soon anyway.

    And speaking of girls fighting:
    Since Elena is bad, now she is allowed to fight. And oh wonder suddenly Alaric’s training paid off. Never mind it didn’t before in this season or the one before that. And “You fight like a girl”? Way to be misogynistic and to show what being a girl means on this show.

    ” Poor Caroline! Now, I’ve heard of guys breaking up with girls by voicemail, text message, post-it note, even Facebook / Twitter status update. But I’ve never heard of a guy breaking up with a girl by deeding his house to her ex-boyfriend! Ouch!”
    Seems I made a mistake in my E-Mail. Trevino’s name is still in the credits so he will be back this season. Just like we will see Jeremy again. They could at least take their names out to create the illusion that we won’t see Jeremy and Tyler again. But still this leaving of him was poorly handled. Extremely poorly. And did you notice that he left town in each of the last three seasons now?
    And you know what the message reminded me off? The stupid phone call from season 3.

    “Dammit! Now, I’ll have to choose from one of the other eight boys on this show currently hitting on me.”
    You know many fans noticed that as it seems. Why does she have so many guys? Since this show is full of stereotypes I guess that is from the blond stereotype of blond women being available. Would fit. Rebekah is the other blond stereotype, you know the needy and dumb blond.

    “In lighter news, Matt Donovan, Teenage Mansion Owner, just became the RICHEST poor guy, ever!”
    Let’s just ignore the fact that such a house costs and so Matt should have inherited the Lockwood fortune as well to pay for it, just like there are legal complications.

    “Maybe now, he can finally stop working at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, and start trying to find himself a REAL storyline . . .”
    I had similar thoughts. Now that Matt is rich, does that mean he will get plotlines, love interests and the writers will care somewhat for his background? Will we get to know why no one ever said anything about him basically living alone? Will his mother return to abandon him once again? Will he have stupid love stories? Will he be there (not physically there, of course) to serve as convenient explanation for why Klaus cannot stalk Caroline into the mansion and therefore have to leave Mystic Falls for New Orleans?
    I mean this show ignores blue collar people even more than people that are not white and not anglo American in general.

    “Personally, I’d go with Vegas. I mean, they call it Sin City for a reason, right.”
    Me too. I mean when has the show ever cared about the intricacies of planning flights, money and distance right? Not to mention that sending Elena there is about the stupidest idea ever. I personally don’t give the promo any credit, they are just advertisement that has next to nothing to do with the episodes themselves.
    But I do wonder…
    I checked something and according to the city’s population in 2010 was 44% white (33.3% non-Hispanic white), 25.5% black (23% non-Hispanic black), and 12.7% Asian. So, what do you think? How whitewashed will it be?

    Well that was my comment on your recap and this episode. And I say it again:
    It was shit. Dull shit. Plain and simple.

    You know whom they should get for this show? These girls:

    At least they can think logically, at least more than Klaus. (PS. According to the movie they are female).

    • Hey Andre! I’m so glad you liked the recap. Our TVD Agreement trend continues 😉 . . .

      This episode definitely did have more of a sitcom feel than previous episodes, in that it was played more for laughs than character or plot development. I just wish it made me laugh more than it did . . .

      You are right about Silas giving Bonnie a “graduation gift.” I actually read that the TVD main gang is set to graduate this year, which is odd when you consider, not a one of them seems to have ever applied for college, taken an SAT, or even taken a final exam. Typically, on a “high-school” oriented show like this, these are main storylines, or at least mentioned / discussed, as they were in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Here, they aren’t even a footnote.

      I guess one of the positive things about the Scooby Gang graduating is that the TVD writers will no longer have to pretend this is a high school show. 
      As far as Silas, I do wonder why such a supposedly smart and worldly villain would make a mistake like draining the entire blood supply, at multiple hospitals, raising red flags everywhere. He would have been better off doing a few of his own “snatch, eat, erases,” around town.
      You also bring up a great point about Caroline. She is definitely the most un-vampirey vampire, ever, isn’t she? Part of me would like to see the writers explore that a bit more, have Caroline backslide a bit, following her recent “breakup” with Tyler. But I guess one backsliding vampire story is enough for one season, right?

      And of course, that prize goes to Elena. 🙂

      Until next time!

      • Andre

        Well what prize doesn’t go to Elena in this show, well except the prize that involves taking her sun ring and letting her out in the sun to burn. Or the prize for realistic character development, or the prize for being smart, or the prize for being independent, or the prize for being original… Aaaah nope… no good prize can ever go to Elena.

        Personally I do not think that this episode was a sitcom in any way. This is sitcom:

        It is also not a comedy, this is:

        At all, at its very most, really very and utmost, this episode was unintentionally funny and that is never a good sign because it shows that the makers quite frankly don’t know what they are doing.

        As a matter of fact I do wonder whether this is really a teen show and if it is, it seems to be one of those shows that rather do it like the people of abstinence only. You know not talk about it and it will all go well (just like Twilight did, you know, no mentioning of exams and the like Bella just graduated).
        You are totally right of course, where is the talk about college, where are the exams, where is anything? Where is even a shred of evidence that this is tv show?
        If they really do graduate this year, with a big IF, like I said they didn’t care that season 2 was not even 4 months long in the show and still they had all 4 seasons, but in either case they will either do it in a very cheap way (like shortly mention it and then go on) or suddenly just throw graduation in without any sense or any actual relevance to any story.
        That these things are here not even a footnote is another piece of evidence why I think this show basically works because it plays totally safe and rides on the current trend of bad boys, vampires and whiny dumbasses in distress. Like I said, they produce shit and sell it as gold and people by it as if it were so. It is repetitive, dull, over the hill, inconsistent, jumping a bazillion sharks, totally dysfunctional and produced by a fat bitch who thinks she is not racist and a fag (I can say that word per the rules of political correctness since I am gay myself) who thinks the heteronormative shit he is producing is inclusive and progressive. You know the perfect recipe for a hit TV show.

        But to get back on a serious note, I want to see a heroine and not a whiny bitch who thinks she is great. I want to see people actually growing up and not regressing time and again. I want to see actual relationships and not this crazy and dysfunctional back and forth. I want to see more than one storyline and not the same thing over and over again. I want to see actual magic and not this badly used tool. And before anybody wonders, TVD is the only show that I watch that is this bad, the others are on a whole different level. And when I don’t want to think I try new thinks in terms of tv and film. Currently I am giving this movie a try:

        Also I heard of this tv series based on the Chinese epic Journey to the West:

        Silas… I have no hopes whatsoever that he will be any good. Like you said, this blood stealing is already way too obvious and makes no sense that he so easily could leave Bonnie alive. They don’t think this way, they either can’t or they won’t and so I think two things:
        1) Ultimately Silas will suck, just like the werewolves, the witches, the hybrids and the Originals.
        2) You should not have any hopes at all that this show will explore anything about Caroline or anything else that is not directly tied to Delena and Stelena drama, or you will be disappointed.
        Everything not directly tied to the three main lamers is just filler and therefore will not be explored in any way.
        And unless Shane is actually dead another parental figure of one sort or another will die this season, unless you count Pastor Fells, in that case it already has its two parents per season death toll. If he doesn’t count one of Bonnie’s parents might finally die.

        Lucky for us as bad as this shit is we don’t have to take all of it in one stride, because there will be another hiatus at the end of March and again a hiatus at the end of April. And by that time we will have Game of Thrones as an antidote against this brainwashing machine called The Vampire Diaries.

  4. Julie

    Hey Julie! Long time no see..
    I could say a lot more, but I just feel that if this long-awaited chapter winded up being such a disappointment, it’s not even worth my time ranting about it… I felt like the writers couldn’t care less about our emotions on ‘Stand by me” and just went with a fill-in-the-blank kind of episode which literally added NOTHING to the show or us.
    And as a Delena fan, I was disappointed too… I mean, I know it’s not totally character unrelated, but Damon’s feelings for Elena grew more sane and pure throughout the seasons… And now they say he likes her all emotionless and uncaring?? COME ON! Her humanity is the reason he fell for her in the first place!!!!
    This week reminded me of the time I liked Stefan better… at least he is consistent: he won’t give up on her because he owes her that much.
    And him and Caroline? Please… what was that word you used?? INCESTUOUS. Dear Writers: STOP forcing couples just because their love interests are not on the show anymore!
    Wow I’m soooo pissed off I said I wasn’t going to rant and here I am… bitching about everything.
    I also agree with you on the whole Klaus-Haley hookup thing… it sure must be a promotion for the spin off, though I don’t see them happening as a real thing. A distraction, maybe.
    Tyler is not coming back?? As in Michael Trevino is leaving the show??? Please tell me it’s just a plot line and he’ll be back around as soon as Klaus runs off to do his own little show…
    Help Julie!!! What are they doing to our show!!?!? I feel completely betrayed… and even worse, BORED.
    What do you think? You usually have great insights on these things.
    Thanks for the recap though… at least I know I won’t get bored of those 😉

    • Andre

      One problem I can solve:
      Trevino’s name is still in the credits, as well as McQueen’s. So either these makers are extremely lazy with the credits or Tyler and Jeremy will be back at least once. Also I think no one should get emotionally invested about Tyler not being there. They made him leave town in every season since the start of season 2 and he always returned. Remember in season 2 he left at episode 14

      and I just checked, the phone call telling Caroline that he would be leaving was also in episode 14 of season 3:

      And when did he physically leave town in this season? Exactly episode 14:

      This show really repeats itself ever since the start of season 2. Ever since then Jeremy died in each season, Caroline was always tortured, Bonnie was always a plot device. Elena was always going back and forth between the brothers one way or another, also in each season there was a vampiric entity coming to town and presented as oh so dangerous (tomb vampires, Klaus & Elijah, The original family, Silas). In each season at least one parental figure died:
      season 1: Sheila, Pearl, Richard
      season 2: Jenna, John, arguably Isobel (Mason was rather a sort of pal)
      season 3: Bill, Mikael, Esther, arguably Abbie
      season 4: Carol
      I remember a youtuber saying that this show is unpredictable…
      What can I say?
      Oh yeah: I fail to see how this is unpredictable.

      • Julie

        Thanks Andre for taking the time to show all the proofs that sustain your statement…. I’ve never thought about it but now that you say it… you are right! Tyler always leaves… and he’s always back. I sincerely hope this is one of those cases.
        The show did get a bit predictable… but what can I say… can’t stop loving it though it looks like it’s .. what’s that phrase you use? “jumping the shark”?? Hope Julie is right about this and TVD is just going through its awkward teenage phase.
        Again, excellent insight on the whole 14th episode and parental deaths

      • Andre

        Maybe the show will become “adult” but on average, when a show is in its 4th season it usually already is.
        I guess Tyler will be back and there are rumors that Silas will appear in Jeremy’s shape. But either way, the actors will be back.
        One of the main problems this show has is its, like kjewls called it, “Getting incestuous,” always the same people and they always date each other. And that is not all, I mean think of it, this is the 4th season and outside of vampirism and these “relationships” what exactly do we know about these characters that we didn’t know already in season1? And even within vampirism and relationships, what evolution did they actually undergo? And especially the girls have become more and more whiney. Season 2 Caroline flashed her fangs while season 3 and 4 Caroline is again a dumbass in distress. And that evolution doesn’t even make sense.

    • Hey Julie! It looks like you and I are in agreement on this episode . . . It was definitely far from TVD’s finest hour, in my humble opinion, particularly considering it was the first episode back from a hiatus.

      On a positive note, I don’t think the writers are going to go the route of Damon preferring an emotionless Elena. Instead, I think Damon understands and feels responsible for Elena’s current state, and is trying to support and protect her in the way he knows best . . . immersion therapy. 🙂 I suspect Damon believes that by allowing Elena’s emotion-free id to run wild, he can ultimately “scare her straight” back into feeling-dom. The plan is likely going to fail miserably. But I still give Damon and A for effort. 🙂

      I hope you are right about Klaus and Haley just being a distraction for one another. Because if those two end up being the main “couple” of The Originals that doesn’t bode well for the new series AT ALL. Friends with benefits, sure? But a love match this is most definitely not.

      As for insights into the direction of the series, I’m afraid I’m a bit lost at this point. Most shows go through a Sophomore Slump, and, if they survive it, come back a better show. Perhaps, TVD’s was just delayed a couple of seasons? 😉

      • Julie

        Great thoughts on the Damon and Elena issue… didn’t think of that until you mentioned it… and actually it sounds pretty good… much better than what I had thought, which put Damon in a really awkward position (not to say a negative one)… I much rather see him as a terrible executor of even more terrible plans than that glimpse of Damon-S01. I really hope the plan works though, even its failing seems inevitable.
        As for TVD going through a late Sophomore Slump, I really do hope so… but can’t help thinking about Gossip Girl and how since season 4 it got worse and worse until they cancelled it. Lets cross our fingers so it doesn’t come to that.
        Honestly, after that last episode I’ve been feeling all negative and gloomy towards the show… nothing that a GOOD Bonnie-less ep with lots of Delena and a bit of Forwood won’t fix 😉

      • You mean, Bonnie’s not going to be in next week’s episode either? Does happy dance! Oh, what a shame! 😉

  5. I see you’ve already been beat about the head and shoulders with the whole house water filter at Stately Salvatore Manor! lol I’ll just say, I bet Fortress Klaus has wonder filters, too, but who’d wanna take a shower over there, what with him in the sex-trade business, now? SPIRIT FINGERS! Bwhaaa! I’m not so sure I’m down with the Klayley pairing. Felt a tad contrived all of a sudden (just to set up the two characters possibly leaving for the other series), but they both DO seem to get their nasty flirt on regularly. Meh. Both have something to gain by hooking up (besides making a litter)–we’ll see which one of them ends up gettin it! lol And mean girl Elena. Can we talk? By the time the epi was over, I was yellin at the TV “TURN IT BACK ON”! You really felt for two century and a half year olds babysitting a petulant child. Grounded? Time out? Dennis the Menace’ twin sister? The cat fight was fun to watch (even the predictable ‘you fight like a girl’). Bon wasn’t really overcome–she’s Shakin with Shilas! Doncha just know Rooty Tooth Fresh N Fruity loves havin him as a houseguest? Speaking of other characters–Matty the Millionaire was PRICELESS! Your recap was insanely hilarious–that’s the only part of mine I was really proud of. Hope you can check out my ‘Ballad of Matt Donovan’ piece in mine. Forget ‘Good Times’ theme–I went for ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’! Can’t wait for the roadtrip to the Big Apple (I agree, Sin City woulda been nicer, except for the nasty Will fell from Grace sideline)–DO IT ON THE ROOF! Although, how do you want sex with no emotions. Hmmm. Is lust an emotion? Hope so! And she’s gonna miss the Memorial for Jer–who’s gonna accept the condolences on behalf of the Gilbert Family of One? Great recap, ALWAYS! xoxo

    • Hilarious recap, as always mak! And I adored the ballad. Am I sensing a full 12-track Woobie Mix Tape in our future? 😉 For those, wishing to sing along:

      http://vampirediariesonline.com/vampire-diaries-recaps/mystic-falls-messenger-tvd-recap-episode-4-16-bring-it-on/

      You also bring up a great point about Klaus’ reappearing / disappearing Man Tatts. My theory, he ran out of canvas for her artwork, and started drawing on himself. 🙂 After all, when you can’t shower because your water is filled with vervain, even a marker tattoo can become “permanent.” 😉

      Where IS Shilas leaving these days, when he’s not chugging down blood bags at the local “Stop N Die?” Something tells me Mayor Daddy wouldn’t approve of his little witch shaking up with a 30-something Nutty Professor type. Maybe he’s out in the wild, going bush?

      • OMG, you linked me! I feel like I got a Pulitzer! MWAH! “Going bush”—love it! I will forever think of him as The Brillohead Bushman now! Beat the crap outa my ‘Shacking with Shilas’!

      • My pleasure, Mac! It was an awesome recap, and the ballad cracked me up. I just couldn’t resist sharing. And for what it’s worth, if they ever do decide to create a Pulitzer Prize category for recapping (It’s only a matter of time, right?), I’m pretty sure your site would be a shoe in for the win. 😉

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