This Girl is on Fire! – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “She’s Come Undone”

burning elena

Well . . . that’s one way to get guys to think you are hot . . .

Hey there Fangbangers!  This week on TVD, Elena Gilbert felt the burn, figuratively and literally.

it hurts oh so keeler

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Also this week, literally EVERYONE in Caroline’s life became Silas  .  . .

mess my head

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So, keep your fire extinguisher handy, Fangbangers, because this one is going to be a scorcher . . .

This is your brain on Damon Salvatore . . .

back to school again

“I’m actually at school?  What is this?  Some alternate universe where my character is still on Degrassi: The Next Generation?”

We begin our episode on a lovely sunny school day.  The sun in shining.  The birds are singing.  Caroline is bragging about being named valedictorian.  Bonnie is smiling . . . wait . . . Bonnie is smiling?  This HAS to be fake.

in my head

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soap dish smash

“Dammit!  Why did I have to make Bonnie smile?”

Yes, it appears that Damon has been Inception-ing Elena, in an attempt to convince her to come back to Team Humanity.

dreams we are still together

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But to no avail . . .

dream bigger

big gun

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I love the goofy moment, where we pan back from Elena’s “dream,” to see Damon standing around with his eyes closed . . .

mind manipulation damon

this is me thinking

It reminded me why they don’t usually show the “manipulation” part of Dream Manipulation on these shows.  I mean, compulsion from a vampire’s perspective always looks cool.  There’s no doubt about that . . .

damon-compels-caroline-gif

But Dream Manipulation from a vampire perspective looks like  . . . well . . . a nap.

4 10 nod off

It’s kind of like that move Avatar.  If taken from the human perspective, all that running around in the forest, riding on giant dragon-birds, using your blue tails to have sex, and saving the world from that Evil Army Dude, would just look like some guy sleeping in a coffin-like object, while getting powdered donuts fed to him intravenously through a tube . . .

turnlights

doing jake

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Anywhoo, since Damon gets a big fat F in the gradebooks for his attempts to Inception Elena back into a “good little girl,” he reverts to something that he KNOWS will earn him an A+ . . . Torture.

beating up stefan

2 20 damon beats up matt yeah

That’s right, Fangbangers!  Damon and Torture go together like Damon and Showering . . .

wet damon 2

How to Lose Friends and Alienate Vampire Barbies . . .

Peace-loving Caroline, who cured herself of her vampire anger issues, a mere two days after being turned . . .

3 3 caroline petrovadiaries

 . . . doesn’t believe the best way to Elena’s heart is through ripping out her stomach.  She’s convinced good old fashioned talking will do the trick.  And so the perky blonde flounces her way into the Salvatore Correctional Institute for Wayward Vampires, bearing her heart on her sleeve, and a peace offering . . . blood for the starving and dessicated Elena.  Hmmm . . . I wonder if it’s B positive?

b positive

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take the blood

After Elena gorges greedily on the blood, she pointedly asks Caroline why she’s being so nice to Elena, after Elena has pretty much been the sh*ttiest friend ever to her . . .

ploppy

shut up make me

turn on

Caroline admits to Elena that . . . yeah . . . people who try to eat her don’t typically make it to the top of her best friend list . . .

damon_bites_caroline_by_flawlesstragedy-d32sfz2

(Actually it kind of seems like most of Caroline’s friends have tried to eat her at one point or another . . .)

calories

But Caroline doesn’t love Elena for the heinous b*tch she’s been these past few episodes.  She loves her for the Special Snowflake she’s been throughout all these other episodes!

happy elena

(Loving Elena is a prerequisite for being a character on this show!)

not going to give

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So, of course, Evilena does what she always does when confronted with kindness.  First she insults the Kind Person . . .

clingy

boyfriends skipped

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oh hell to the no

Then she tries to rip off the kind person’s face with her teeth . . .

goes after car

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So, Caroline does what any rational girl would do in such a situation.  She breaks Elena’s neck . . .

neck break

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just kill her

And so, after a brief dalliance with Peacekeeping, it’s back to TORTURE TIME!

3 8 dance

Rendezvous with Mean Girls

Meanwhile, over at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, Rebekah is drinking her feelings, when she comes upon the only male character left on the show, with whom she hasn’t had sex (yet) . . . Matt.

crushing beks moonlight-dream

“Hey hot stuff.  Have you ever seen a 1,000-year old girl naked?”

car and matt

“Shouldn’t you be hanging out on that New Spinoff with the rest of your ancient relatives?”

rebekah heart

“Stop ripping out my heart with your continuous rejection of me!”

Matt casually lets it slip that he’s going to probably be stuck in Mystic Falls, cleaning vomit off bartops, forever.  This is because he’s been too busy running from werewolves and ghosts, and evading inevitable apocalypses to actually do homework, or study for any of his classes.  This gives Rebekah an idea . . .

lightbulb-idea

Over at another diner/ bar type place . . . (one that can’t be in Mystic Falls, since we know there is only one Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls) Bonnie has a secret meeting with Elena’s Doppelganger Katherine Pierce.  It turns out that Katherine still has Silas’ headstone, and Bonnie wants it BAD . . .

Bonnie kat

For a girl who doesn’t need to eat, Katherine sure spends a lot of time in diners .  . .

It has something to do with Silas, and the veil, and the apocalypse, and blah, blah, blah.  All this mythology talk gives me a headache.

the headache filthy pirate hook

Just bring back my Alaric, Kol, and Jer Bear mmm-kay?

dalaric 3

hot kol 2

2 22 jer alaric uzmama

The rest of it, I could care less about, honestly . . .

stefan shrug

Back at the Salvatore Correctional Institute for Wayward Vampires . . .

Bad Girls Don’t Get Nice Jewelry

stef damon

“Do you realize that torturing Elena together is the closest you and I will probably ever get to that threesome we always dreamed about?”

cw-promo-vampire-diaries-11

Damon and Stefan have Elena tied to a chair in front of a window.  Also, Damon has stolen Elena’s sunscreen ring.  Now, that’s gotta hurt . . .

bad girls

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Actually, Damon, I think bad girls steal nice jewelry . . .

Damon and Stefan kind of have the whole good cop / bad cop dynamic a bit messed up here.  Stefan is clearly trying to play good cop.  He keeps Dr. Phil-ing Elena into talking about her “feelings” . . .

stefan crying gif

 . . . while Damon is throwing out the one liners, like it’s his job (which, lets face it, it pretty much always has been).

dont damon me

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The only problem, of course, is that Stefan is the one who keeps ripping back the curtain to burn Elena  .  . .

oww

“The good news is that all this face burning, is making my teeth look super white!”

 . . . and this pretty much makes him the Worst Good Cop Ever . . .

not in a fight

Stefan and Damon decide to take a break from burning Elena’s boobies off to let her insult them both.  She reminds Stefan she dumped him, and Damon that she was sire bonded to him.  And blah, blah, blah . . .

2 16 damon says stop talking

But just when I’m about to get bored, Elena turns around and does something REALLY interesting . . .

burn lena

“I am vampire hear me ROARRRRR!”

burning elena

“I imagined this going a bit differently in my head . . .”

Because the last Sunshine Shock Treatment Elena received enabled her to burn through the ropes on her wrists, she breaks free from her spot on the chair, and actually FULL ON SETS HERSELF ON FIRE!  (Katniss Everdeen a.k.a. The Other Girl on Fire is not impressed . . .)

still cook you

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Damon jumps into action and “extinguishes Elena,” reminding Damon fans everywhere what a sexy firefighter Damon would make (and what a long hose he probably has) . .  .

extinguish

3 1 baby elephant

Firefighter fantasies notwithstanding, this is not a proud moment for our Sexy Salvatore Duo.  Elena is lying on the floor laughing in their faces.  After all, she’s just proved that, try as they might to be mean and menacing, these two could never truly hurt their Special Snowflake.  So, no matter how many times they put her in the proverbial hot seat, she really has nothing to fear.  Alas, this appears to be another Moonstone in the Soapdish Moment for poor Damon . . .

damon pissed nian somerhalder

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It’s time for the brothers to call in The Reserves . . .

the kat thank me brought cure

Study Buddies and Burgers

beks burgers

“Someone once told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his clogged arteries.”

happy matt

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“Awesome, now I won’t have to eat my dinner out of the Mystic Grill trash compactor.”

Caroline is crazy jealous and hurt, when Beks crashes her and Matt’s Let’s B*tch About Evil Elena Session to feed him, and help him pass all those classes he’s been failing.  It turns out, Caroline didn’t even know Matt was flunking out!

2 16 caroline j baker

Caroline has always been portrayed as the fashion conscious social butterfly of the show . . . The Joiner.  But it makes sense that she would be a TOTAL Rachel Berry, when it comes to academics, just like she is in every other aspect of her life . . .

screaming rachel berry

For Caroline, her ex-boyfriend’s failure at school is simply not an option (nor is leaving him alone to study with that vixen, Rebekah).  And so, off Vampire Barbie dashes to grab her arsenal of adorable pink flash cards, fantastic array of multi-colored highlighters, and sugar free energy bars.  “You dated That?”  Beks jokes.  (Watch out, Beks.  Your brother might just end up dating That too . . .)

klaus cheers

While Caroline’s away (more on that in a bit), Beks kindly offers to compel Matt some passing grades, and a college scholarship, so that he can FINALLY get out of this godforsaken town.   It’s a sweet offer from the girl who once ran Matt’s car off a road, and almost killed him.  (Oops.)

3 1 high matt tbtvdgifs

Umm . . . check the bottom of the lake.

The Original Vampire kind of DOES owe the Bar Boy a favor or twenty.  And while giving Mr. Blue Collar a ticket into the Lower Middle Class wouldn’t entirely erase the whole Attempted Murder Thing from these two’s history together, it sure would be a nice start.  But NOOOOOO, Matt has to be all “honorable” and pass his classes the “old fashioned way” . . . by using his smart phone to teach him Italian.

shakes head

Sometimes people are too good for their own good.   You know what I mean?

The Doppel-BANGER!

blah elena

look awful accobadobrevs

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At first Stefan’s “Genius Plan” to get Katherine to scare Elena’s humanity seems to be going swimmingly well . . .

stefan salvatore fist pump best

The two insult one another.  They rough each other up a little bit . . .

but kick

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Well, would you look at that?  Nina Dobrev is beating the sh*t out of herself.   How very Fight Club of her!

hit me as hard

Of course, you would think that after 170 some odd years, Stefan would have finally learned that Katherine will never EVER do what the Salvatore Brothers want her to do.  And this time is no exception . . . Katherine sets the captive Elena free!

surprised-face

jealous kat

Silly Stefan.  One day, you’ll learn that whenever you play with fire, you inevitably will end up getting burned . . .

3 13 burning stefan montagues

Speaking of getting burned . . .

Silas, Silas Everywhere . . .

klaus moving on rebekahmkaelsn

moving on 2

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It is like something out of fanfiction.  Klaus leaving his Baby Mama Drama in New Orleans to return to his lady love in Mystic Falls.  He begs her to escape her humdrum apocalyptic vampire life to come live with him in the Treme.  He forces her to admit that her hatred of him has morphed into something else entirely.  And, for the first time, she doesn’t exactly deny it . . .

what afraid

afraid of self

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He invades her personal space, so she’s up against a tree . . .  his breath hot against her ear.  And then, he has to go and ruin it all, by making an offhand comment about feathers . . .

bad boy ruffle

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So, wait.  Now, I’m confused.  Since when did Klaus become Elena?

3 12 confused damon

Just kidding.  It’s that MIND RAPIST, whose real face looks like a cross between Lord Voldemort and the Sith from those Star Wars movies . . .

medium_voldemort-looking-up-9fzhu4mo

sith

SILASSSSSSS!

BabyScared

He wants to send a message to Bonnie that she should come out of hiding OR ELSE.  And apparently that “message” involves staking Caroline.

caroline cryin

“Why is everybody always temporarily killing me?”

Later that night, Caroline wakes up from her little death nap.

wake up car

“I just had the most awful nightmare.”

Fortunately, Matt is there to comfort her . . .

2 3 matt caroline

I’m sorry.  Did I say “Matt,” I meant SILAS . . .

eye roll car

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Seriously?

Then Klaus pops up again, and he’s Silas too!

eye roll car

“I’m getting too old for this sh*t.”

Worried that Silas will kill her mother, Caroline rushes home.  Then Bonnie appears at the window, out of no where, to tell Caroline that her MOM IS SILAS TOO!

lizard

“I haven’t been this villainous, since that time I tried to have my daughter killed, because I found out she was a bloodsucker.”

Feeling trapped, Bonnie eventually walks off with Silas and his Real Ugly face, leaving Caroline to tend to her maybe-dead mother, in the back room.  What a b*tch!

bonnie shane 2

you suck laurrrrde

As much as I’ve never been a big fan of the Lizard, I must admit, I got a little teary, when Caroline huddled over her and wished her back to life, a la Simba and Mufasa at the beginning of the Lion King.

wake up

nice man

go home 1

go home 2

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Actually, I Ugly Cried . . .

Ugly cry face

But then Lizard Forbes came back to life!  And all was right in the world!

clap for bonus

Well, almost . . .

Attempt to Return Elena’s Humanity #562 (Spoiler Alert: This one actually works.)

After laying it into Katherine a bit for being just as crappy at helping Elena get back her humanity as everyone else on the show has been . . .

emotions fine

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 . . . Damon comes up with another idea . . .

lightbulb-idea

This one involves Matt . . .

2 16 matt wtf face

life purpose

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At first this Plan #562 seems pretty darn similar to the 561 before it.  Matt finds Elena in the woods.  And he tells her she’s his oldest friend, and blah, blah blah . . .

oldest friend

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So, she eats him . . .

freaking hungry

He passes out .  . . and wakes up.  So, she tries to eat him again.  But Damon gets there first.  And Damon .  . . KILLS MATT?

damon and matt

What’s this?  Is Elena actually SAD that Matt is dead?

crying elena 1 vampire-blondie

crying elena 2 vampire blondie

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relief 1

thats humanity

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But wait.  JUST KIDDING!  He’s wearing that Jamaican Me Crazy Immortality Ring!  Hooray!

clap

Matt’s ALIIIIIIIVE!  Elena’s humanity is BACK!  I think there’s just something about Matt that always represented a sort of youth and innocence she shared with him, before her parents died.  When Elena was with Matt she was perky, untarnished, and pure.  And that’s ultimately why I think it was his potential death that ended up effecting her enough to trigger her to put her humanity switch back into the “ON” position.

3 11 melena ashleyelizabeth1020

In short, the 562nd time was, in fact, the charm.  Damon Salvatore (and Matt) for all the awards . . .

happy damon

But, of course, now, Elena is SUPER DUPER SAD about Jer Bear being dead, and about what a piece of sh*t she’s been these past few weeks.  I mean, girlfriend KILLED A WAITRESS!  And worse.  .  . she dyed her hair pink!  Oh the humanity . . . literally.

sick of crying

Stefan instantly reverts back to Dr. Phil mode . . .

find inside

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draco malfoy facepalm

will get better wonderland girl forever

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A few weeks back, we all harped a bit on Damon for using the sire bond to get Elena to turn ALL of her emotions off, when he could have just as easily just gotten her to lose ONE emotion . . . like say “sadness.”  This week, Stefan gets into a similar semantic kerfuffle with the extremely LITERAL Elena.

focus one thing

focus on hate

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Silly Stefan!  He thought his advice to Elena would turn her emotions into hearts, teddy bears and roses.  Maybe he even thought it would help him get laid.  Instead, it made Elena dead set on murdering the woman who killed Jer Bear, turned Caroline into a vampire,  brought Klaus to Mystic Falls, and stole the cure . . . her evil twin from the past . . . her doppelganger . . . Katherine Piece . . .

the kat im katherine

Katherine . . . the very same girl, who just entered into an alliance with Bonnie Bennett for the destruction of Silas, in exchange for her own shot at indestructibility.   Oh hell yes!  I think of all the Elena’s we’ve met this season, I’m going to like Homicidal Maniac Elena best of all . . .

3 6 warrior elena

Next week on The Vampire Diaries . . . The Apocalypse . . . and Kol . . . though not necessarily in that order . . .

Until next time, Fangbangers!

waves

[www.juliekushner.com] My New Tumblr (Just getting my feet wet.)  Fangirls Forever

3 Comments

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

3 responses to “This Girl is on Fire! – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “She’s Come Undone”

  1. Haha! I didn’t zero in Bonnie smiling as the fact the opening scene was fake! Come to think about it, she’s REALLY gonna hate the lines on her face she ends up with when she’s 40 after all those faces she makes! There was a whole lotta rejection going on in this epi–nobody seemed to make any relationship progress at all–except maybe for Rebekah. And something’s gonna happen in the last two epis to send her off to NOLA (I figure), so she might as well give up on Matt! Besides, couldn’t he have somebody else compel him some good grades? How about selling some of Tyler’s priceless antiques since he owns the Mansion now? Talk about your closet industry–he could be wealthy on the garage sale alone! I do hope he got insurance on his freebie truck–since Elena decided to bust out the windows! The Brothers have been trying to force emotion back on Elena, particularly love and happiness (lol), who knew HATE was the biggie she would zero in on? I gotta get my head wrapped around the difference in ‘humanity’ and ’emotion’–maybe the writers need to ‘splain that a tad better, because Hating Elena really doesn’t seem that different than Mean Girl Elena–okay, to be fair, we only saw Hating Elena for about 15 seconds. I’ll reserve judgement. It does seem like, once the sire bond was broken by flipping off the switch, it doesn’t come back when the electricity’s restored. *sigh* I’m excited and torn that there are only two more epis left. Can’t wait for the finale (I HOPE I can successfully avoid the spoilers, but that’s all anybody TALKS about!), but not looking forward to a summer of DVDs only! This season FLEW by!

    • That’s very true, mak. Evilena always had emotions, those emotions were just limited to Mean, B*tchy, and Hungry. 🙂 Now, she’s just SAD and PISSED OFF. One could argue, therefore, that Humanity Elena has less distinct emotions with her humanity ON than she did with her humanity off. 🙂

      So, what are your guesses as to what happens to Damon in the season finale? Up until recently, I had him pegged for accidental ingestion of The Cure a la the books. But then I heard Ian in an interview saying Damon would be boring as a human. So, maybe something else? Would love to hear your theories . ..

      • I truly should be recapping the NEXT episode that I just watched, but I need to decompress first! lol There is a lot of ‘back to the books’ hope always on my end, but I never actually thought they’d go the Damon route. And if they did, once again like the books, he’d just go lookin for a way to get switched back. So how about a little devil’s advocate? Caroline is so flighty and does things impulsively without thinking first. What would happen if she got her mitts on it and took it just because she was tired of everybody fighting over it? lol! I mean, we already got semi-spoiled when JP spilled a ‘vampire’ would take The Cure, but that’s only, oh, one of a dozen or more people, right? They’ve still not given Bex a reason to go to NOLA, and she’d still be the Original’s sister even if she was human, but I think that’s a no, too. I’m still not convinced that what’s in the Red Bull is actually a Cure! Only Qetsiyah knows for sure!

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