Risk and Reward – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s “Chaos Rising”

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Risk and Reward . . . according to that teacher with a SERIOUS case of the Crazy Eyes Coach Finstock, these are the two principals that guide the stock market.

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And while that’s true, I would argue that the concept of Risk and Reward guides every aspect of human existence. 

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Think about it this way . . . Throughout our lives, we are faced with about a million choices, everything from the small (What am I going to eat for lunch today?  How should I wear my hair?), to the huge (What career path will I take?  Do I want to get married, and have kids?)

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Some choices are riskier than others.  The riskier the choice, the bigger the reward you  reap, if you succeed in taking it.  But if you fail, the consequences you suffer from making a riskier choice, are inevitably much larger than the ones that stem from making a safe choice . . .

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This week on Teen Wolf, the members of our Scooby Gang all engaged in some pretty risky behaviors.  Did their risks pay off?  Would you have made the same choices they did?  Are you feeling lucky, Wolfbangers?

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No?  Well, on to the recap, anyway . . .

[As always, special thanks to Andre, for the awesome screencaps . . . and for instinctively knowing things like that I’m going to make fun of Allison for misspelling “logos.”  And making it about ten times easier for me to do that.]

Stiles Stilinski: Sex with a minor in a room filled with glass bottles, and expensive wine?  YES.  Unprotected sex?  NO!

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Stiles’ perpetual celibacy, and frustrating . . .  shirtfulness (?) . . .

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. . . particularly in a world where all his male co-stars seem to REALLY love the ladies, and HATE cotton .  . .

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. . . have pretty much become a running gag on the show.

But in the opening moments of Episode 2, Season 3, it seems like Stiles might be able to FINALLY cash in that much-treasured v-card . . . or at least show us a little peek of skin, while attempting to do so . . .

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Invited to the party of a childhood friend, who he hasn’t seem in quite some time, poor Stiles’ eyes seem in danger of popping out of his skull, when the same girl with whom he once played Power Rangers, is now mauling his face with her tongue, pushing him into a basement wine cellar, and aggressively propositioning him for no-frills, first time, sex.

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Since Stiles is arguably the moral backbone of this show, I instantly feared that our hero would end up going all “After School Special” on Heather, lecturing her about the need to make ones first time “special,” by doing it with “someone you love” . . .

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Yes, yes . . . I know, that’s technically the “right answer.”  But Stiles is a hormonally charged teenage boy, for crying out loud . . . a teenage boy, who has just been offered sex with a hot teenage girl!  For Stiles to act any other way than exactly how he did (excited, yet fumbling and ridiculously awkward), would be unrealistic for the character . . .

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Stiles’ “I’m about to get laid” dance . . .

But lest you think Jeff Davis and co. have NO sense of moral responsibility, condoms instantly enter the scene . . .

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Indeed, both Heather and Stiles agree that there is “No Glove, No Love,” as far as they are both concerned . . . even if the only “glove” available, might well be about ten sizes too big for Stiles . . . and might just fit around his weiner like a Where’s Waldo hat . . .

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Stiles took a risk coming down to the cellar with Heather.  And in running back upstairs to collect the condom, he juggles between two more risks: (1) the risk of STDs and/or Heather prospectively appearing on the next season of Teen Mom versus (2) the risk of her getting brutally mauled by an unseen supernatural creature, in the two minutes it takes him to retrieve a condom from her upstairs bathroom.

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“NOOOO!  Now, I’ll never get to learn what it feels like to have sex with Dylan O’Brien!  Thanks a lot, Unseen Bottle Breaking Killer!”

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Sorry Stiles . . . no reward for you . . . not this time, anyway . . .

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Now, about that mauling . . . On first glance, it appeared like some unforeseen force was breaking all the wine bottles at Heather’s feet.  (Would someone tell me again, why she was barefoot?)

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(Does NO ONE wear shoes on this show?)

But, if you recall, after Heather was taken through the window, Stiles returned to a squeaky clean cellar.

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This scenario presents the possibility that (1) the broken bottles were merely a hallucination, inflicted on Heather, to cause her to move back up against the window (making her easy pickings for whatever was on the other side); and (2) since, as far as we know, Heather is a human, with no relation to the wolfpack world, there may be another big bad lurking in Beacon Hills other than the Alpha Pack .  . . possibly the one that is exerting its influence on all the animals in the area . . .

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But really, all that’s just plot filler.  The importance of this whole scene, for me anyway, was that poor Stiles, still remains sans popped cherry . . . and we never got to see him take off his shirt.  A moment of silence, please, dear Wolfbangers, for another chance to see Stiles pects, crashed and burned . . .

burns paper stiles pls

But hey, look on the bright side!  Thanks to Heather (well, actually, Heather’s “big boned” brother . . . though it’s probably best we don’t think about that) now every girl (and guy) in Stiles’ economics class, thinks he has an extra large package . . .

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Perhaps, there’s some hope for our unlucky-in-love hero yet . . .

Isaac Lahey: Trust undead psycho hipster? NO!  Willingly get spine-raped by undead psycho hipster? YES!

I’ll confess I wasn’t exactly on Team Isaac last season.

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But I must admit, the kid is growing on me . . .

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For an abused child with MAJOR daddy and trust issues, Isaac comes off as surprisingly innocent and childlike . . . a guy who is so deathly in need of a father figure, that he is seemingly willing to trust any weird wolf man, or hot biker chick with advanced weaponry, who shouts orders his way.

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Well . . . almost anybody . . . There are some folks even Isaac doesn’t like . . .

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And while Isaac’s bizarre innocence, in the face of a life filled with literally nothing but sh*t, is risky and dangerous, it’s also oddly refreshing . . .

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Because Isaac could have just as easily become a sullen broody loner like Derek, or a sassy sociopath like Peter .  . .

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Instead, he’s Ronald Weasley with fangs . . .

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Though Isaac clearly has qualms about being molested by Peter, so that the latter can “read his mind” regarding the possible whereabouts of Boyd and Erika, he quickly agrees to do it, simply because Derek told him it was cool  . . .

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“Whatever you say, Sexy!”

And what about Peter?  The big bad of Season 1 (and half of Season 2), who made his grand entrance to a THEME song, now sports super tight hipster pants, walks with a sassy swagger, and has the mustache of a gangster from HBO’s Boardwalk Empire?

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It seems that Teen Wolf is following in the TVD tradition of converting former Big Baddies into uncomfortable allies, just in time for the Bigger Bad to come along . . .

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My theory?  By the second half of this season The EVIL Alpha Pack will also inevitably join forces with Derek & Co., just in time to battle whatever the heck it was that pulled Heather from the window of her wine cellar . . .

But I’m getting ahead of myself here . . . The important thing is that “EVIL” Peter Hale is back.  And though he’s not nearly as evil as he used to be, boyfriend looks goooooood . . .

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OK . . . so you know, when you were a little kid, and you’d go to the doctor to get shots.  And the doctor, or your mom, or whoever was standing next to you at the time, would always say something like, “This hurts me, more than it hurts you?”

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And, even as a little kid, you knew that was a load of crap, because THAT PERSON, wasn’t the one getting BLUDGEONED WITH A NEEDLE IN THEIR ASS!

Well .  . . in this case, mind raping Isaac really did seem to hurt Peter more than it hurt Isaac . . .

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I mean check out that facial expression . . . That is most definitely the opposite of an “O” face, if you catch my drift . . .

More like an “OH NO!” face . . .

Oh No Mr. Eric

Based on doing . . . whatever the f*&k it was Peter did to Isaac, he figured out that Baby Wolf had, in fact, stumbled into the Alpha Pack’s lair, and located Boyd and Erika!

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But . . . he had no clue where they actually were .  . .

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And the pair would pretty much be dead, in less than twenty four hours, if the Scooby Gang didn’t do something to rescue them . . .

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Yeah .  . . mind rape is totally overrated . . .

Derek Hale:  Accept help from the two pretty girls who tried to have you killed last season? NO!  Accept help from Stiles, and that new-fangled toy called the Internet?  YES!

If you are one of the five people who have read my Teen Wolf fanfiction, you know that I find the Derek / Allison dynamic interesting. I mean, think about it.  Allison was raised on fear and hatred of werewolves.   Derek was raised on fear and hatred of the hunters, who he grew up believing had murdered his family.  Allison blames Derek for the death of his mother.  Derek blames Allison for going psycho in Season 2, and trying to kill him, and his entire pack.

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There’s angst there . . . tension . . . a lifetime of hatred.  And yet, at their core, Allison and Derek are very much alike.  They are both products of tough and aggressive upbringings.  They mask angst and sadness, with physical toughness, and violence.  They are both trying to be better than those that came before them, but aren’t quite sure they have enough emotional strength, and “goodness” in them to accomplish that . . .

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That’s why, even though the scene during which Allison and Lydia confronted Derek with the matching marks on their arms, and were brutally rebuffed by him, was pretty much filler, it was also, oddly, one of my favorite scenes from the episode . . .

Crystal Reed and Tyler Hoechlin somehow managed to convey all that complexity in the two short scenes they shared with one another.  Derek, understandably, couldn’t bring himself to accept Allison’s help, or her explanations regarding the possible origins of the symbol on her arm . . .   (He needed to hear the same information relayed to him again, later, by Stiles, before he was willing to act on it . . . a decision, which arguably lost him crucial moments in the rescue of Boyd and Erika.)

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As for Allison, though she was willing to put aside her personal feelings to bring this information to Derek, she couldn’t do so without reiterating her disgust of what he represents . . .

But beneath all this, I saw something else growing between these two characters . . . grudging respect, and maybe, just maybe a hint of sexual tension.

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Do I think the writers will go there with Derek and Allison, this season?  Maybe not.  But the opportunity exists.  And the writers would be unwise to completely ignore it . . .

P.S. How did the Biker Chick manage to brand the bank logo on the girl’s arms, just using her bare hands?  Was she a tattoo artist from the future?  It would certainly explain that weird light saber-y weapon she de-wolfied the twins with, last week.

On a lighter note, I love that Derek Hale is a 24 year old guy, who . . . even though he literally may have been raised in a barn . . . at least went to high school .  . . and yet still seemingly has no clue how to search for things on Google.

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It looks like someone needs to get some private tutoring lessons from Stiles, STAT!  Am I right, Sterek fans?

Isaac Lahey: Risk death by allowing ones self to be submerged shirtless into a bath of ice water?  YES!  Risk death by allowing ones self to be submerged pantsless in a bath of ice water?  NO!

As if last week’s stomach splicing, and nipple electrocution, and this week’s, spine splicing weren’t painful enough, Poor Isaac was forced to endure even more torture, in the latter half of this week’s episode, when the Scooby Gang tried to DROWN HIM IN AN ICE BATH TO PUT HIM IN A TRANCE, just because THIS GUY told them to do it?

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Yikes!  Who knew werewolf hypnosis was so complicated?  Whatever happened to swinging a pocket watch in front of someone’s face, and telling them they were getting sleepy?

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Anywhoo, with little encouragement from the rest of the gang, Isaac gladly took off his shirt, like the good little MTV Heartthrob he is destined to become, but kept his pants on . . . because . . . you know . . . shrinkage . . .

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Perhaps, he felt self conscious, under the watchful eye of Stiles and his XXL condom stash . . .

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Trance-fied, VERY cold, and shrinkage free Isaac reveals to the rest of the wolf pack some crucial information about Boyd’s and Erika’s whereabouts . . .

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. . . but also that Erika might not be so much . . . um . . . alive . . . anymore.

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In other news, there appears to be another mysterious she-wolf incarcerated with Boyd . . .

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As Yoda would say, “Thickening . . . the plot is . . .”

Derek Hale and Allison Argent: Break into abandoned, Alpha Pack-filled, bank with little plan or forethought?  YES!  Heed the warnings of others? NO!

Stiles Stilinski is my hero, not only because he’s better at doing Fake Google Searches than Allison Argent . . .

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But also because he somehow managed to make the logic leap, from a picture of his dad in a newspaper article about an old bank heist, to eventually getting the old floorplans for that bank, and being able to determine exactly how the crooks broke in, all those years ago  . ..

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I’m telling you . . . in an alternate universe, Stiles and Derek are detectives in a crime procedural buddy cop comedy that my mom watches, after Law and Order SVU. . .

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Need proof?  How about this scene, where Derek proves to Stiles that he can break through a wall of concrete, simply by giving his more diminutive pal, a fist bumping high five . . .

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Now, that must have been some pretty impressive fisting . . .

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Not as impressive as this fisting though . . .

Yet, fisting or no fisting, Derek ultimately decides to bring Scott on his rescue mission, instead of Stiles, because “logical thinkers” tend to be major buzz kills on rescue missions .  . . even logical thinkers with big weiners . . .

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Allison also figures out that the Alphas are hiding Boyd and Erika in the old abandoned bank.  And how just she get in, you ask?  By walking in the front door, of course . . .

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“That was easy.”

Hmmm . . . maybe Stiles isn’t as great of a thinker as I thought.  After all, he just got bested by the girl who doesn’t know how to spell “logos.”

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Boy this bank is becoming a Teen Wolf Reunion special.  First, Allison runs into the school shrink from last season, who rushes her into a cleaning supply closet for her own safety.  Though, honestly, I’m not really sure how safe that closet is, considering the state of Allison’s new “roommate.”

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Ouch Erika . . . looking a little rough, aren’t we?  Someone’s in need of a SERIOUS makeover.

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What?  She’s dead? NOOOOOO!  Not Erika!  Someone get that biker chick to jump start her nipples, like she did for Isaac?

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She’s dead too?  Ohhhh . . . never mind.  Nice knowing ya, Wolf Barbie . . .

Talk about Bad Timing.  Not two seconds after Scott and Derek arrive at the bank, do Stiles and Peter, back home, realize that the Alphas have actually lured Scott and Derek there, as part of an EEEEEVIIIIIL plan.

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You see, this bank is made of some weird material that scatters moon light.  And the Alphas have basically been keeping Boyd, Erika, and . . . Mystery Girl there for three months (I hope they at least let them shower), preventing them from turning into a werewolf, just so Derek’s busting through the ceiling would expose them to the moonlight, making them go super apesh*t.

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That’s a whole lotta work, just to kill a couple of wolves, you probably could have just pounced on and killed on your own, right?

Except, here’s the thing . . . last week, we learned that the Alpha’s ultimate goal is to have Derek snuff out Scott, as a potential threat.  And, perhaps, getting him to do that will involve manipulating Derek into joining their pack.  From what we’ve learned in the past, the Alphas in this pack, all murdered members of their entire pack, in order to become part of this one.  Perhaps, it was the Alpha’s intent to capture Derek’s entire pack, and make them all moon-crazed, so Derek would have to put them down, thus inadvertently rendering himself eligible for membership in the ULTIMATE Alpha Pack.

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I suspect they didn’t count on Isaac getting away, or Erika . . . possibly committing suicide to save her pack, or getting mortally wounded while trying to escape to warn Derek?

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I’m still guessing here.  But if the pack’s ultimate goal is to strong arm Derek’s loyalty, it makes sense that the other female wolf they captured, has even stronger ties to Derek than Boyd, Erika, or even Isaac . . .

She is  . . . wait for it . . . his BABY SISTER!

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Huh . . . you say . . . but I thought Derek’s sister was DEAD?

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I thought everyone in Derek’s family was dead .  . . well . . . except for Derek . . . and now Peter . . . and well . . .

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YOU THOUGHT WRONG!

You could just smell the sibling rivalry in the room  . . . along with the ammonia from the cleaning closet, and the stench of three-month unwashed werewolves.  This is going to be GOOOOD!

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Boyd and .  . .  CORA . . .  that’s her name by the way, warn Derek and Scott to leave, before they fully wolf out.

But then, someone traps them in place with a circle of MOUNTAIN ASSSSSSSHHHHHH  . . .

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Who would do such a thing?  Who would betray our heroes?

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oh hell to the no

Mrs. Morell, you traitorous hussy!  And after your friend the vet worked so hard to almost kill Isaac in an ice cold bath to help him find you!

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Some people just don’t know how to show gratitude . . .

Worry not, Wolf Friends.  Allison, fresh out of her ammonia closet / grave is here to rescue you.  She pushes aside the mountain ash, freeing those two rabid werewolves from captivity, and saving Derek and Scott from inevitable demise . . .

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I mean, so what if these two end up devouring all of Beacon Hills?  At least our two sexy stud muffins are safe, right?  Priorities . . .

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Derek, who has never exactly been one for subtlety, decides this is the perfect time to force Scott to tell Allison about that time her dearly departed mother tried to murder his ass . . . AWK-WARD. . .

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“Whatchu talkin about, Derek?”

Meanwhile, back at the Martin House, Lydia wakes up screaming . . . again.

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Oh no, Teen Wolf!   Are you trying to tell me that this entire episode was Lydia’s dream?  No?  Maybe she’s upset, because she just found out they canceled Smash?

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“But I LOVE musicals!”

Tune in next week to find out.

See ya then, Wolfbangers!

hi stiles

[www.juliekushner.com][My Tumblr] [Fangirls Forever]

8 Comments

Filed under Teen Wolf

8 responses to “Risk and Reward – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s “Chaos Rising”

  1. YESSSSSS, first reply! I have had so much drama IRL this last couple of years you have no idea. I am so glad to be re-entering the blogosphere with the beginning of the new Teen Wolf season.

    Before I comment on the episode, I thought that I would share this summary of the show from someone who has never actually watched it, but has followed fandom on Tumblr. It cracked me up 😀 It’s from a great big livejournal meta-athon that is going on right now. Click here if you want to check it out.

    This is solely the impression I’m getting from my Tumblr feed, but:

    Teen Wolf exists in some strange hybrid universe where 15 year old freshmen in high school look like underwear models. I don’t know where that is, but I might want to go to there! Apparently everyone is watching the “Sterek” show, and neither of them is the main character? There’s also a girl with a bow and arrows that everyone wants to cast as Kate Bishop for the Avengers, and that sounds awesome, but there are only two women? Maybe? I don’t even know, because no one talks about anything but the pretty white boys. And fandom is really gross about one of the characters being Mexican and possibly the show itself doesn’t acknowledge him as Mexican? There’s lots of werewolf porn if you want it, and the fandom took the Alpha/Beta/Omegaverse ball and fucking ran with it.

    Stiles is my bb on this show, and I adored how honest they were about his teenage hormones. It’s so great that he has this Stiles-ish quality to him even when he is moments away from scoring with a lady, like his panicked look when he sees that the condom packet is for XXL. The coach congratulating him in the classroom about Little Stiles was epic. We need an ep where the coach takes sex ed, I bet he would rock that Very Special Subject based on this interlude.

    Although I ship Stiles/Lydia like crazy (LOL I am one of the people who read your Teen Wolf fanfic and more Stiles/Lydia plz :D), I think you can have feelings for someone while still noticing opportunities with other people. Hell, even when you are in love with someone, it’s not like you stop noticing the opposite sex altogether (I maintain that anyone who says this is the case is lying!!). I’d love to see some Mean Girl jealousy from Lydia if Stiles gets an honest-to-goodness love interest, especially since I have heard that the Stiles/Lydia friendship really strengthens this season.

    LOL forever at your take on the deer fear. Animal emotions seem to be a lot easier to understand anyway. Like, I can always tell that my dogs Annie and Freda love me with every atom of their doggy beings, when they are hungry, happy, upset. Animal emotions are not really all that complicated, so I’m curious to see if this power can come into play in a more clever way.

    Hilarious recap as usual, and can’t wait to see your thoughts on the rest of the season. Has the season been extended to include more episodes? I think I read that somewhere. I hope so!

    • Hey there, Spidey! It’s great to see you! I’m so psyched to be able to talk TV with you this summer! And thanks for the tip on the meta-thon! I’m definitely going to have to check it out. 🙂

      You are right about the whole extra episode thing. From what I heard, this season of Teen Wolf will get a FULL 24 episodes (that’s even more than TVD gets). However, the producers have decided to split the season into two 12 episode blocks, with a few months hiatus, in between (Pretty Litte Liars style), in order to keep the storylines tighter and more self contained.

      I think you are right about Stiles and Lydia. Particularly now that Jackson is out of the picture, I’m more convinced than ever that these two are meant to be endgame. That said, I suspect that this season they will both be sowing their wild oats a bit with other people. 🙂 Normally, that would frustrate me. But I think it actually works for these two. As you said, Stiles needs to build up his confidence a bit. And take a break from pining over Lydia, so their relationship isn’t so one-sided. As for Lydia, I think she needs to get her Jackson-rebounds out of the way, before she can even consider another serious relationship. And for Lydia to rebound with Stiles would just be too cruel.

      I’m guessing by the second half of the season, we might get to see some slow movement towards an eventual coupling for the two of them.

      As for the animal thing, I’m with you. They’ve gotta figure out a more clever way to tease out that “magical power.” It should be something a bit more impressive than, “I think the animal was frightened, because it ran into an on-coming car and/or committed suicide in its cage, but less cheesy than say . . . Dr. Doolittle. 🙂

  2. Whoops, follow this link if you wanna check out the meta-athon: http://upupa-epops.livejournal.com/247203.html

  3. East Coast Captain

    I personally think Allison and Scott are not endgame simply because very very few people ever end up with their high school sweetheart. He might just end up with…hell Lydia. But this is a TV show so…

    Big props for including sex protection although to be fair on Vampire Diaries, when you are banging a vampire you don´t have to worry about an STD or getting someone pregnant.

    You think Scott and Cora could hit it off? We´ve never seen a werewolf relationship on this show or two werewolves doing ”it.”

    Oh Peter, you are all kinds of awesome like an older more cynical version of Stiles but with claws!

    • Haha, I don’t know how Stiles and Peter would feel about being compared to one another, East Coast Captain. 🙂 But I definitely see your point. Stiles and Peter both seem to be significantly more intelligent and logical than, at least the rest of the males on this show. (Though, I gather Lydia could give them both a run for their money in the smarts department.) The two characters also tend to use humor and sarcasm to diffuse tense situations. That said, because I enjoy these two so much, I was frustrated to see them both sitting on the sidelines during the heist. Here’s hoping they both play more active roles in the next Scooby Gang Mission.

      Hmmm . . . Scott and Cora. It could work. We don’t really know much about Cora yet. But, I suspect, if she’s related to Derek, she’s a bit edgy, and has a little chip on her shoulder, which is always fun in a female character. Speaking of Derek, I could see him getting mighty protective of his baby sister, if Scott tried to make a move. 🙂

  4. East Coast Captain

    I personally enjoyed how Derek owned Allison, the Hunters claim to protect people from the monsters but they are the true monsters hell even Peter is less of a monster than her psycho mother, aunt and granddad all of whom were far more monstrous.

  5. Andre

    In my eyes this episode was better than the rest but still I often asked myself what they are doing. Often they are very good but then they are doing this stuff where I ask myself “why are they doing this?”
    And I am not gonna lie, I felt the same about your recap.

    After reading your recap I was surprised that you did not include the shot of Danny grinning at Stiles, neither any mentioning of one of the Alphas hitting on Danny. For someone that in her TVD recaps sees “homo” pretty much everywhere even if there is not even a hint about it, it is weird that when there is actually something to really work with, you do not have it in. Especially since you mentioned Stiles’ penis (the joke was funny but kind of cliché considered Stiles intelligence) and so you overlooking Danny’s facial expression in the class room feels just out of character for you.
    Also considered how hot you were for the twins last episode it is weird that you don’t mention their much better performance in this episode when in school, last episode they looked so totally bland. Let’s just hope the makers don’t make them do these bad bland eyed shots again. And who wears leather jackets in a library?
    And speaking of that, Lydia’s statement about wanting one of them was another scene from the trailer and next episode will have even more. What’s next, the lead stuff and red eyes of Scott is in episode 3?

    The second part of your recap I found downright weird was the whole Allison Derek “dynamic.”
    A part of Derek’s “blame” is justified, after all Allison did go psycho in season 2 and tried to kill them, so I don’t quite get why you call that part “blame.”
    And I personally would not call their interaction dynamic. These two were remarkable calm considered Allison’s age and Derek’s background. And what is with Reed’s bland expression? Did Davis want that?
    And I have no idea what lifetime of hatred was there on Allison’s part. She only knew of the werewolves for a few months now. She was trained before that in some areas (archery and gymnastics) but apparently no one ever told her about the family business prior to Beacon Hills. And she clearly didn’t get her main hunter training before Beacon Hills.
    Also what tough and aggressive upbringing are you talking about? We don’t know anything about Derek’s upbringing (so no evidence for a lifetime of hatred), in fact in that case we know even less about it then in Allison’s case. Seriously, we do not even know how big his family was.
    And whom is Derek trying to be better than the one before him? Peter? Seriously who is it? Kjewls, where do you get this from?
    Sure I get why Derek wouldn’t trust Allison, but I personally think you read stuff into these scenes that is simply not there.
    And speaking of that:
    Why do you read sexual tension into these two? Why on earth should there be sexual tension, especially if you consider what you said before as legitimate? Why should the “lifetime of hatred” as you called it suddenly turn into “sexual tension?”
    You know despite what TVD and other shows suggest, people that hate each other usually don’t fuck each other.
    So I personally think that it is best for this show if the writers don’t even remotely go near the sex stuff between the two. Despite what current teen shows tell you, it is very common that a male and a female do never want to bone each other, and I am talking about straight people. And should you want that this show does it like TVD, don’t! Trust me, when that happens everything you love about this show will disappear, but I will come to that later.

    So we have Scott and Stiles again, and again Scott is rather preoccupied with Allison and of course himself. Typical Scott. Stiles again has to pull him out of it and as usual Scott doesn’t even say thanks… Actually when did he ever do anything for Stiles?
    Actually a lot of the stuff here that was directly tied to Scott or done due to Scott seemed over the top and silly to me, especially since it doesn’t looks as though Scott gets smarter. He only seems smarter in comparison because the others seem to get dumber. But you will see what I mean.
    You know the more I see of Scott the more unlikeable he becomes and I fear that Davis, seeing how preoccupied he is with shoving Scott into our face, will never address this.
    At least Scott was downright rejected as being of no interest here. And speaking of interest:
    Stiles doesn’t seem to have seen this girl for a reallllyyyy long time, I mean she was never mentioned, Scott doesn’t know her, albeit that might not mean much here, so why is she suddenly There? And if the girl wanted to screw someone for her first time, why did she invite Stiles? Did she do the romance novel thing and stalked him first? This is kind of odd and reminds me of the writing in bad soap operas.
    Good to know they thought of condoms (albeit I wonder why they don’t use the word), because in the other “teen show” that topic is never mentioned, at all, as it seems.

    You know we can explain why the cellar is dry and clean and the like since it was apparently a hallucination, but what about her screams? Not even Scott heard them? Was that in her head as well?
    And true I forgot her feet. Now as much as I would like to smack Davis for some stuff, he has a thing for details, so I wonder what that was about.
    I think there is something to your hypothesis about the other power in town, maybe Gerard, causing her disappearance. If there is someone else in town that would make more sense regarding the animals. Like I said if the Alpha’s caused that, why didn’t it happen before?
    And don’t worry; she is a pale virgin so her chances of survival are probably quite high.
    And speaking of the connection of sex and danger, the show’s record in that department is not exactly a good one. Think about it the only scenes of sex we were ever shown was between people “in love”. At the start of season 1 Scott’s sexual arousal actually makes him become a violent and blood-thirsty beast, clearly drawing a connection between sex and violence, thereby suggesting that sex without love is inherently dangerous. Even when we see Lydia and Jackson in bed in season 2 it is suddenly that they are “truly in love.” The statements about Derek’s and Kate’s relationship on the other hand are clearly not a good one and the sex is portrayed as being dangerous since it made Derek reveal too much about Kate. Lydia’s “distraction” in last episode was already a clear reference to her wanting to screw Jackson and now we have a virgin, a female virgin, who takes charge of her sexuality, actually takes a very progressive stance on the matter and is not so stupid to think that just finding the right one will make sex all great (something that is suggested by Allison and Scott’s relationship) and she is kept from doing that. This is very much in line with the typical TV trope of punishing those that not only want to have sex outside of marriage but also outside of love.

    Perhaps, there’s some hope for our unlucky-in-love hero yet . . .
    Maybe… or maybe it is once again Davis teasing you. Remember the locker room in season 2? Remember the “Danny episode” in season 2? I would not get too excited if I were you. Especially considered that so far the show is nowhere as progressive as it claims.

    Well if you can’t have Stiles being shirtless, take the next best thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPgE5N6allQ

    But I must admit, the kid is growing on me . . .
    I can see why and I must say: Isaac is definitely another Jackson clone now. Yeah, Davis can scream colour blind all he wants, I am not buying it. Seriously, if e.g. Ennis only needs to be muscular but slim, why not cast a guy like this (it’s not as though Ennis will speak much anyway):

    Is he afraid that people are gonna scream racism if he has mostly white people on the side of the good guys but on the side of the bad guys a wider range of skin colors? Because if yes then that is too late now because people already did just that back in season 2: http://www.racialicious.com/2012/08/01/this-show-was-supposed-to-be-a-gift-teen-wolf-race/

    But back to Isaac:
    You have a point there with him just trusting everything. You could say that Isaac desperately needs a father figure, but why?
    And Isaacs innocence… Isn’t it rather odd that he acts this way? I mean don’t you think that for a while he should be more rebel like? Not so calm? And what is he doing currently anyway? Does he live with Derek? What does the state say? Why wasn’t it ever addressed? Does Davis really care so little?

    And Peter’s statement about the danger of reading the mind of Isaac reminded me of how quickly he plunged his claws into Scott’s neck in season 1. So now he has qualms of killing Isaac but back then he risked permanently crippling Scott?

    And speaking of Peter and his abilities: Why are Peter’s abilities still impaired? After what 4 months? Why? So he cannot wolf out and do some Alpha fight? Because it looks this way.
    And isn’t Derek way too calm considered what the guy did?

    And did you notice?
    There was the symbolism of the blue eyes again. Why? Is Peter no longer red-eyed? I mean is he no longer an Alpha? And why are his eyes blue anyway? Considered Davis’ casting choices and all I am sure blue eyes refer to some special lineage or traits that make you somewhat superior.

    Now the promised statement regarding Teen Wolf and TVD:
    I can tell you, if Teen Wolf goes the same way TVD does, I am out, out and never look back. If Teen Wolf becomes this sick heteronormative “drama” that is TVD, a terrible show that caters to the craziest shippers that there are, then I am out. Worse enough that Allison is so calm in the face of Derek but doing it like TVD does is just sick. Now I know you Klarolines love this scene:

    But it is not only poorly written and doesn’t even try to conceal that the returned dead are just there to make Klaus look like the “hero” and feed the Klarolines and Klaus fans and even the stupid Caroline fans, no it is even worse. The guy this idiotic brain dead Barbie is smiling at killed Elena’s aunt, Tyler’s mentor and his mother. He killed all the hybrids, which interestingly are nowhere to be seen here, but hey why would they right? I mean Klaus killed all of them quickly and fast, without any pain or cruelty and… NOT:

    This “relationship” is just plain wrong and fiction or not if you want to see stuff like this there is surely something wrong with you, because if you wouldn’t like it you wouldn’t watch it over and over again. And this show has crossed the line into dangerous a long time ago.
    Caroline is… she is not simply pissing on the graves of Klaus’ countless victims she pisses on their corpses. And by still liking her for it, all you Clarolines do the same. And I don’t care how many Klarolines, Caroline and Klaus fans I piss off with this, this is sick. And the appropriate response these characters on TVD deserve is this:

    Peter is an ass but at least he didn’t kill people that had nothing to do with the fire on random, unlike Klaus and Damon did, you know the guys so many people want in their pants. He did a lot of bad stuff but at least he didn’t do it on a whim and thinks the stuff he is doing is showing kindness.
    I tell, should Teen Wolf do it like TVD does, the worst atrocities will be forgiven in a matter of seconds without any sort of amends, Lydia will get mistreated and be in constant danger because of her boyfriends, not to mention that she will get dumber and dumber (since a show like TVD cannot have female characters that are smarter than their male counterparts). Scott and Derek will become impulsive murderers (since that is what TVD fans want), Isaac will be a token (probably the token abused boy), Boyd will be a magical negro in any sense (a show like TVD cannot have well developed non-white characters), Stiles will be the constant victim (because in TVD they cannot have a side character being smarter than the main characters), the parents will all die (since in a show like TVD they have no place), Danny will completely disappear without a trace or be killed (any show like TVD cannot have gay people) and Alison will lose all fighting skills (any show like TVD cannot have strong fighters as their good females).
    Because sometimes I think this show tries to copy TVD and fans might want that; and although I might not mind some sort of “truce” in the show between the enemy lines I don’t want that. I can guarantee you, if Davis does it like TVD, you will lose all the characters you love, because in case you still haven’t noticed: TVD messed up all of its characters, they raped and parodied every last one of them.

    So again: No TVD route for Teen Wolf!!!!!!

    But back to Isaac, again:
    You know I am not asking myself why Peter got only fractured memories, but rather, why any memories. How can Isaac remember anything if his memories supposedly got stolen? Is the pack, or Davis’ writing, that sloppy? If yes this is weird to the extreme. I mean he keeps track of so many details, but he pays no attention to that?

    On a lighter note, I love that Derek Hale is a 24 year old guy, who . . . even though he literally may have been raised in a barn . . . at least went to high school . . . and yet still seemingly has no clue how to search for things on Google.
    I think this is rather extremely odd. I mean he apparently knows what google is, so why doesn’t he know that? Is it just me or does Derek get dumber by the minute in this episode?
    And wasn’t this guy is supposed to be Scott’s mentor?

    It looks like someone needs to get some private tutoring lessons from Stiles, STAT! Am I right, Sterek fans?
    A Sterek might say that but I don’t. These two should better not be in the same room.

    My reaction to the Ice water scene was similar to yours. Why did they do that? Why do they need to slow down his heart rate? Why not drugs or hypnosis? And wouldn’t freezing rather kill Isaac? This all sounds rather melodramatic.
    And don’t they technically drown him? And why are they so ok with the possibility of killing Isaac?
    And if his heart is that slow, would he even be able to talk? And a second ago his heart was in danger but suddenly he is fine?
    The flashing light is simply over the top and totally unnecessary if you aks me. They did nothing to even hint that werewolf powers have an effect on electricity. This is season 3, the time for introducing powers is over. Further developing powers based on the already introduced ones (memory stealing, melding) is ok, but not just pull of powers from somewhere, if you do that this late in a show it becomes just the next best deus ex machina. Let’s hope Davis does not do that.

    So Stiles tells Isaac what he and we did not know he said. I saw the editing there but personally I think it was badly executed. It wasn’t exactly clear that we suddenly jumped time and it was so to say Isaac’s perspective now.
    They should have done it with showing several chaotic scenes and then a big flash.

    Now I thought that when Stiles had that speech: “Wow O’Brian is really good.” We haven’t seen the others pull that sort of acting off.
    I also thought that Scott is not really optimistic; he rather seems like a douche, seriously, was that supposed to be pep-talk? Seriously, the new Scott doesn’t come along as so great so far. Let’s hope Davis changed that in later episodes.

    But also because he somehow managed to make the logic leap, from a picture of his dad in a newspaper article about an old bank heist, to eventually getting the old floorplans for that bank, and being able to determine exactly how the crooks broke in, all those years ago . ..
    You know this and other moments of Stiles intelligence in this episodes makes me think that the show does not actually make Scott smarter but all others suddenly dumber when it fits the plot. I have no problem when Scott is smarter than Derek because the more we saw of him over the last two seasons the dumber he revealed himself to be, but Stiles? Scott can think of the Deaton, but Stiles can’t? First, Scott can’t connect one and one and figure out the twins are Alphas despite his senses, but now (the Deaton stuff as well as his risk statement later) he is portrayed as so smart?
    Why? It was Stiles whose mind let them to the info about the vault, neither Scott, nor Derek, nor Peter even really questioned why Boyd and “Erica” where there. So this makes no real sense to me.
    And as for the coach’s (who is pretty much of an ass but seemingly still a teacher) statements:
    I guess it is again to show that Scott is so smart, and while it wasn’t as annoying, and frequent, as last episode, and there was no word of the day, it still didn’t work for me. Scott, again, came along as rather dumb, or just silly.
    Not to mention that this is all a really “subtle” way of shoving it again into our face that Scott has changed. And wasn’t it written on the paper last season that these grades he got where not like his usual ones? So why does the coach suddenly act as though Scott was always stupid? And wasn’t it this what the coach himself wanted in the last season?
    And by what definition was what Scott said there smart?
    I am not sure what Davis is doing there, I mean is he trying to portray Scott as smart or is he trying to portray Scott trying to appear smart?
    I mean Scott was pretty dumb and into himself from the start:

    Yet, fisting or no fisting, Derek ultimately decides to bring Scott on his rescue mission, instead of Stiles, because “logical thinkers” tend to be major buzz kills on rescue missions . . . even logical thinkers with big weiners . . .
    Yeah, Derek really isn’t smart. This scene with Derek punching Stiles… Yeah I am not so thrilled about it, or better not so thrilled about the reactions by Stereks.
    Derek once again physically abuses Stiles just to proof himself and he often treats Stiles as though he isn’t there and acts annoyed because Stiles does something that is not his fault, like wrongly interpreting Derek’s vague statement. Why do you want these guys to have sex again?
    And wow what a great friend Scott is, look how he tells Derek to shut up, to treat Stiles with respect and how he threatens Derek into compliance… ups, no, that is what a real friend would have done. Seriously, all Scott does is staring with a sort “why did you do that expression”. Derek attacks Stiles and treats him like crap and Scott says nothing. Really, this is supposed to be a friend?

    You know why exactly are people like Derek, Peter or Danny annoyed by Stiles? Are they jealous because he actually thinks and investigates and connects things? Because would Stiles have the werewolf knowledge Peter and Derek had, he would leave them in the dust.
    And it was never explained why people find Stiles annoying. I mean what is so annoying about him? Someone who can stand Peter or Jackson shouldn’t be annoyed by Stiles.

    The whole thing with Boyd and Cora is odd to me. Not feeling the moon for months makes them more susceptible, stronger and rabid? Wasn’t it the moon that made them rabid in the first place? And if being exposed to it heightens their immunity against its effects why do they need control? Wouldn’t it be enough to just wait? Why was the whole “hold on to your humanity” stuff mentioned then?
    Also if they are so rabid now, why don’t they attack each other? Why do they attack only Derek and Scott?

    It seems like this time Davis might have gotten it right with the starving lions because usually it is typical for Davis to use conventional wisdom, which is often false, just like the stuff Peter said about wolves, or Derek’s bullshit crap about women having a higher pain tolerance even outside of pregnancy. Sorry all you women here but this part of conventional wisdom lacks and basic. And throwing unbased stuff out is not helping anybody. Maybe Davis did his homework this time, or he was just lucky this time.

    Allison also figures out that the Alphas are hiding Boyd and Erika in the old abandoned bank. And how just she get in, you ask? By walking in the front door, of course . . .
    Yeah that was kind of odd, but on the other hand made sense, because the guys guessed the Alphas were there, but … well I don’t blame Stiles, I mean it probably wasn’t his idea to make all this noise while breaking in.
    So don’t worry, Stiles is still smarter than Allison.
    Also, why does it look like this inside the bank? It looks as though someone trashed the place.

    . . . but also that Erika might not be so much . . . um . . . alive . . . anymore.
    There are rumors that she will appear in this season. She was seen on the set and she probably wasn’t there just for the corpse scene, at least that would be way too complicated than it would need to be.
    But even if not, I wasn’t really shocked. First it wasn’t actually a big revelation and Erica was such a sideline character that I couldn’t have cared anyway. For me it was just another of these “why are they doing this” moments. I mean it was one thing if Laura Hale’s body wasn’t totally rotten because she was buried, but Erica was just lying there. At that moment Allison and the Alphas should have smelled her stench already. And why did they leave her in there anyway? She is gonna attract a lot of scavengers. I think it was just dumb. Also so Erica gets killed off but Jackson is allowed to life… Is that sexism? Yeah it probably is. Because who do you think pissed the makers of more Gage or Colton? I would say Colton.
    But let’s say she does return, and supposedly so does Mrs. Argent… I don’t like that. It is in my eyes just a cop-out to eliminate actual consequences. If they only kill off unimportant side characters we barely know they basically do it like Twilight, like The Vampire Diaries, like The Mortal Instruments and so on and so on, all these shitty titles that claim depth but are in truth shallower than a baby’s first bathtub. And so far Teen Wolf has actual depth, it doesn’t just claim it has.

    Except, here’s the thing . . . last week, we learned that the Alpha’s ultimate goal is to have Derek snuff out Scott, as a potential threat. And, perhaps, getting him to do that will involve manipulating Derek into joining their pack. From what we’ve learned in the past, the Alphas in this pack, all murdered members of their entire pack, in order to become part of this one.
    Well first I still have a glimmer of hope that the one the pack wants to kill is not Scott. Because that would be the biggest shit, simply due to the fact that in this case this whole thing was all totally unnecessary.
    And second, when was it ever stated that these Alphas killed the members of their packs to become part of this one? After all Alphas can obviously exist without packs. So where do you have that information from? I cannot remember that ever being stated in the show.

    One thing also:
    Davis already revealed himself as a fan of the great classics and making references to them: e.g. to The Wolf man (first episode), Teen Wolf (Peter’s basketball past), An American Werewolf in London (well in that case Jackson is dead meat) and I think this time he might have referenced Jurassic Park. The scene were Kali does the thing with her big toe reminded me of the scene in Jurassic Park where one of the raptors did the same:

    Seriously am I the only one seeing the resemblance?

    I suspect they didn’t count on Isaac getting away, or Erika . . . possibly committing suicide to save her pack, or getting mortally wounded while trying to escape to warn Derek?
    If they let all that happen against their will they are really idiots. And let’s face it, who takes antagonists like that seriously?

    She is . . . wait for it . . . his BABY SISTER!
    Yeah, this might be interesting but it I also something that could easily go wrong. They could really fall into this “let’s bring back supposedly dead people” and that is bad. And where does that sister come from? Sounds like “ups we didn’t think it was important.” And I guess everyone here knows that trope.

    You could just smell the sibling rivalry in the room . . . along with the ammonia from the cleaning closet, and the stench of three-month unwashed werewolves. This is going to be GOOOOD!
    Yeah… I wouldn’t count on that. For one there is my point above and second, remember this sneak peak?

    Recognize her?

    Mrs. Morell, you traitorous hussy! And after your friend the vet worked so hard to almost kill Isaac in an ice cold bath to help him find you!
    Kjewls, calm down. Don’t worry, she is probably gathering intelligence on the enemy. After all, remember who told Allison only to come out when the fighting started? This was probably so Allison could get the two dumbasses out of there before being slaughtered.

    Worry not, Wolf Friends. Allison, fresh out of her ammonia closet / grave is here to rescue you. She pushes aside the mountain ash, freeing those two rabid werewolves from captivity, and saving Derek and Scott from inevitable demise . . .
    You know here is the plothole of this scene: When Derek broke through the door, he left a lot of rubble. That rubble apparently covered some of the mountain ash… so the whole thing was pretty melodramatic, because our two dumbasses in distress could have gone out the whole time.

    And as for Boyd and Cora now running loose: I guess now we know what Scott’s sentence about rabid werewolves from the trailer referred to, because when you listen to next week’s promo, you hear the exact same words. So basically the first episode had lots of stuff from the trailer, the second has some stuff from the trailer and the third one will have as well. Davis is going to do it, isn’t he? He is going to make Scott and Alpha and a leader before even 5 episodes have past. That is bullshit.

    And now to my last statement of this week:
    The way Boyd and Derek’s sister acted pretty much proved why this whole Werewolves as stand in for race doesn’t work. Because they are dangerous, they are walking time bombs. Being afraid of them is actually a very reasonable reaction.

    • So my recap wasn’t gay enough for you this week, Andre? 😉

      My first thought was to dash off to AfterElton.com to find you a gayer recap, that might be more to your liking. But then I learned that After Elton is now “The Backlot.” (Who knew?) And they have Heather Hogan (one of the chief writers from After Ellen, After Elton’s sister site) writing the recaps. And, while she’s an immensely talented writer. And I think it was a great recap, it, like mine, wasn’t all that gay.

      http://www.thebacklot.com/teen-wolf-recap-302-werewolf-thunderdome/06/2013/

      (She even went highbrow, and skipped all the big penis jokes. For shame!)

      But that’s the thing about recaps. They tend to reveal just as much about the writer, as they do about the show itself. And I guess two half-second longing looks from Danny to Stiles is not what I focused on, when I was watching this hour long show. Because, while I may make certain sex jokes (gay AND straight) in the context of my recap, in an attempt to be humorous, when it comes down to it I’m just a fangirl in wish fulfillment mode. And, because of that, I am much more likely to notice a sexually tense look between Derek and Allison, than Danny and Stiles, because, deep down, I WANT to be looked at by Derek. And I just happen to look more like Allison (though she’s obviously much prettier than I am) than Danny. . .

      Speaking of Derek and Allison, discount it all you want. But I know my teen TV, and those two are going to happen sooner or later. Mark my words . . . 😉

      While we are in confession mode, I’ll be honest. The twins don’t really do it for me. Sure, I like that they took off their shirts like male strippers in their opening scene, and began “fisting” one another. (Who didn’t?) They have great bodies, like everyone else on this show. And I’d be crazy not to use that to full advantage in a recap that’s predominantly focused on sex and humor.

      But physically, they aren’t really my type, at least in terms of their facial features. I understand that’s completely subjective. It’s not something I would discuss in the body of my recap, for fear of coming off as mean or insensitive, with respect to an actor or actors’ personal appearance. And, of course, I can objectively see why Lydia and Danny, as characters, would find them attractive.

      As for me, I’m all about Derek and Stiles . . . though, type wise, they are probably about as different from one another as you can get.

      As for the twins’ acting, yeah, their faces were slightly more expressive this time around. But I’m going to hold off judgment on their abilities until they actually open their mouths to speak. Who knows, maybe they will completely win me over? And I’ll be eating my words, and drooling over them, two or three recaps from now.

      It could happen . . . 😉

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