The Trojan Horse – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s Letharia Vulpina”

big gift

“Hey, it’s me Stiles!  Let me in!  I’m totally harmless, and not at all possessed by an evil sociopathic spirit, who experiences orgasms from your pain.”

So you probably all read that story in school about how the Greeks defeated the Trojans during the Trojan war, by making them believe they had already won the war, presenting them with an attractive looking package that seemed to cement their victory, and using that package to get themselves behind enemy lines and ultimately defeat their oppressors.

my-little-pony1

My Little Trojan Horse Pony

Quite a few times this season, we’ve seen “Stiles” trick people into accepting dangerous substances, by wrapping those substances in shiny white paper and pretty silver bows, and disguising them as gifts.

birthday present

happy birthday

not trusting

And yet, when you think about it, the REAL Trojan Horse of Season 3B is Stiles, himself . . . Good, Snarky, Skinny, Smart, Loveable Virgin Stiles . . . the guy we loved, adored and rooted for, over the course of three seasons.  By using this fan favorite character as his host, the Nogitsune gains unofficial membership into Scott’s pack.  He enjoys the benefits of their power and protection.  He becomes privy to their secrets.

mischeivous stiles

He defeats them, without them even realizing they are being defeated . . .

bad stiles more

All of the Teen Wolf villains have tried to some extent to accomplish this, with varying degrees of success.  Peter tried to get behind enemy lines by controlling his adversaries . . .

ep 6 alpha

“Dance puppet, dance!”

 . . . the Kanaima by terrorizing them . . .

half kanaima jack

.  . . the Darach by boning them (or, at least, one of them) . . .

dennifer

. . . Grandpa by manipulating them . . .

funny face grandpa

. . . the Alpha Pack by torturing them.

destroyer of worlds

But none of these attempted takedowns have been as effective as the one perpetrated by Nogitsu-Stiles . . .  a sly villain who understands that the best way to defeat your nemeses is to become one of them . . .

stiles and scott

Let’s review, shall we?

nodding oh yeah

[As always, a big hearty thank you to Everyone’s Favorite Supernatural Screencapper Andre, whose every picture is worth a thousand words . . . which means I can write a lot less. :)]

Dr. Dolittle’s Revenge

Once upon a time, there was a veterinarian with the quirky ability to talk to animals.  Talking to the animals made the doctor seem like a bit of a nutbar, but it also made him better at his job.

220px-Dr_dolittle_movie_1998

By being able to ask the animals directly what exactly it was that was ailing them, he could more quickly and easily cure them.

sleeping scott

But this magical ability also came with a darkside, as efficient a healer of animals as Dr. Dolittle was, he was also it pretty efficient killer of animals.  He knew their weaknesses, how to gain their trust, how to disarm them . . .

great pic

Poor Yuki and his well-meaning, if slightly curmudgeony, Yakuza owner, learned this lesson the hard way, when Dr. Dolittle Deaton Trojan Horsed their asses, just so he could do a little weeding in their backyard . . .

noooooo

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

Now, that’s just rude!

Now, I haven’t checked Career Builder recently to find out how much they pay vets in Beacon Hills, but it must be a lot, because our Deaton had enough moolah to fly all the way to Japan just to slip some paralytic Kanaima snot into poor Yuki Wolf’s puppy chow.

sleepy puppy

“OK, be honest.  Which one of you yakuza pooped in my Kibbles n Bits?”

Under the guise of attempting to cure little Yuki, Deaton quickly gains access, not only to Yakuza headquarters, but also to the cursed garden where Nogitsu-Yakuza was murdered by the Oni, in that flashback a few episodes back.

nogitsune

magical forest

“Marijuana farm?”

“Why was my adorable Yuki eating fox poison from this creepy shrine to my dead father and his massively f*&ked up teeth?”  The Yakuza wants to know.

“Just kidding!”  Deaton replies.  “He wasn’t.  And I just made you touch Kanaima goo.  Nana-Nana- NOO NOO!”

touch it

good pot

“I wonder how high I would get if I smoked all of this?”

Dr. Deaton blows the most powerful man in Japan a raspberry, as the latter lies on the floor dumbfounded and motionless, trying to figure out what the f*&k just happened to him, and how he wound up on a teen television show as the nameless patsy, as opposed to in a Martial Arts movie as the main villain, where he clearly belongs.  Then, Dr. Does-Slightly-More-Than-a-Little (at least this week) pockets some Nogitsu-Stiles killing weeds, and heads back to America on JetBlue, like the BAMF he is .  . .

nighty night

“Suck on that, Eddie Murphy!”

The Electric Slide – It’s Not Just a Lame Dance You Did in Middle School Anymore .  . .

shine the light

You can’t see it, IT’S ELECTRIC! Woonky, Wonky, wonky . . .

Meanwhile, halfway across the world, only mere minutes have passed since we last saw Kira, who is still dancing with a pesky livewire outside the hospital.   Please kiddies, do NOT try this at home!

live wire

its electric

electrifying

Cue the slew of dying extras, who moronically step out of the cars into puddles of water, and do the Electric Slide all the way to the morgue (which is very conveniently located, seeing as this all happens right outside the hospital).

dead 1

“Ooh an electric puddle.  I think I’ll step in it!”

bye bye

“Me too!  Electric puddles are awesome and not at all dangerous!”

Remember those cartoons you used to watch, when you were a kid, where the guy showed his lady love how chivalrous he was, by taking off his coat and putting it in a puddle of water, just so that the woman he secretly wanted to bone wouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of having wet feet?

chivalry-quiz-0208-de

Well, Isaac, bless his heart, takes this whole chivalry thing, even one step further, by getting electrocuted for Allison, just so she didn’t have to suffer the indignity of getting her hair fried and looking like this . . .

einstein

not going to end well

to save her

to save her 2

to save her 3

“This idea played out a whole lot better in my head.”

So romantic!

Then, Kira does some show-offy backflips over cars . . .

flippy

“Situations where the entire town is in danger are the best times for me to practice my gymnastics!”

 . . .verrrrryyy SLOWWWWWW-LY sucks up all the electricity into her fist to the tune of Dramatic Music, and becomes a hospital hero . . .

glowy eyes

“I bet if you put your iPhone on my forehead, I can charge it for you!”

(Though I’m sure Dead Extra’s 1, 2, 3 and Isaac are probably wishing she did a few less backflips, and chose a slightly snappier Heroic Theme Song, since her doing so would have prevented them from suffering the indignity of frying like bacon).

2 3 bacon

isaac scarf

“Thanks a lot, Foxy!”

Nonetheless, Scott and Derek are understandably enthralled.  After all seeing Kira perform this feat brings back fond memories for both of them . . .

super hot

“That was really hot, and gave me the strange compulsion to suck my thumb and then stick it in an electrical socket.”

Like the time that Scott verrrry SLOWWWLLLY popped a bubble with his mind . . .

bigger bubble

. . .  and the time that Derek verrrry SLLOWLLLY allowed two wacked out baby werewolves to beat the shit out of him, so that they wouldn’t beat the sht out of his girlfriend, who ended up being a Skeletor-faced psycho killer, anyway.

torn up derek 1

Who is on Team Nogitsune?

Many of you Werebangers have speculated that Nogitsu-Stiles is not acting alone.   Granted, his repeated use of the word “We” when making his villainous speeches, could just be an annoying habit . . . like those awful people who always talk about themselves in the third person.

eye roll jackson

But it could also mean that he’s acting in tandem with someone else . . . a second Trojan Horse . . . one who is still hiding dormant behind enemy lines .  . .

two allisons

Like for example, the Hot New Deputy, who instantly insisted that the “Mysterious Package” delivered to the Sheriff’s office contained nothing but “harmless batteries and flashlights.”  (How many Fedex Delivery guys do you know, who inform you what’s inside their packages before they give them to you?)

mysterious package

“I thought you were about to comment on how huge my package is.  And I was going to tell you all about how with good diet and exercise, anyone can have a really large package, even you Sheriff.  But, then again, maybe it all comes down to good genes.”  

condom 2

condom 3

And what about Allison?  The only member of Scott’s pack, who has yet to be marked by the Oni as her “Self”  . . . the woman getting mysterious messages from Japanese internment camps, who, like Stiles, is being haunted by her darker other half . . . a woman who seemed EXTREMELY INTERESTED in Scott’s pain-sucking abilities when he went to visit Isaac, and who made a point of holding his hand tightly, while the wolf did his Arm Fondle Thing . . .

look at is

holding hands again

taking pain

allison tear heir of slytherin

“Maybe I should touch his butt again.  It made him stronger last time!”

bacon issac

“I really hope she touches my ass again.  That will solve all my problems.”

Just sayin . . .

“Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Possessed by an Evil Spirit Who Wants You Dead.”

At school, Kira suggests that Nogitsu-Stiles may be terrorizing Beacon Hills as part of some Long-Con Revenge Plot, for wrongs perpetrated against him long ago . . .  Riiiight, because we’ve never seen THAT before, on this show?  Have we . . .

matt and ma

evil jenny

In the men’s locker room, a woefully fully dressed Scott and Alpha twins (I thought nudity in the locker room was a requirement on this show.   What gives, Jeff Davis?) are summoned to the school basement by the sound of an emitter held by none other than Stiles Stilinski . . .

trust me

“I come in peace.”

But WHICH Stiles Stilinski is it?

good witch or bad witch

Will the real Stiles Shady please stand up?

more dancing stiles

Stiles assures his pals that he’s the Good Stiles.  And they instantly believe him, for no other reason than that the kid is just so doggone cute with his spiky hair and blue flannel shirt.  And because this particular portion of the pack are not exactly its “A” students, if you catch my drift . . .

no idea what im doing

“Stiles” shows the crew his alter ego’s “Big Ole Bag’ O Mischief,” and they look at him like he’s the Leprechaun who’s just shown them the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

plans

lucky charms guy

And while this Stiles may, in fact, be a Leprechaun, of sorts, I don’t think he’s one of the Lucky Charms Variety . . . More like This Guy .  . .

“Mrs. Robinson Martin, are you trying to seduce me?”

In the film, The Graduate, a young Dustin Hoffman gets nookie from two beautiful ginger-headed ladies, who just so happen to be mother and daughter.

trying to seduce you

Peter Hale is equally slutty.  Just half a season ago, he was posing as his teenage self, and locking lips with Lydia.  Now, he seems to be putting the moves on her mommy.  Or is he?

looking at you kid

smug

“This is the most action I got, since Klaus drowned me in the fountain on The Vampire Diaries!”

Upon speaking to her mother, Lydia gets the impression that Peter, with his cryptic talk of “hearing tests,” is using her mother to get to the aurally-attuned banshee, herself . . .

narcissistic teens

. . . because seducing  a child through the woman that gave birth to her isn’t creepy at all!

Dumb like fox!

It’s Trickster Spirit – 3, Wolf Pack- 0, when, mere hours after electrifying the hospital, Nogitsu-Stiles (1) frames Papa Argent and Derek for Silverfinger’s “Murder” still not sure that guy is actually dead, by planting the money from the “weapon sale” in the Argent’s house; and (2) buries a metal chain in the ground near the school cross country field to distract Coach Crackhead, from the trip wire and poison-tipped arrow lying in wait for the comic relief character, right in the middle of the woods.

the chain

is this the trap

“Let me guess, this is another one of those times when you give me a present, I open it, and something falls on my head, right?”

stabbed

“Not quite, Coach.”

this hurts a little

“Sh*t, I knew I should have gone to Clown College instead of becoming a teacher!”

But hey, at least we got a little makeout time between Danny and Ethan, for all our troubles, right?

i think i love you

 

“The nogitsune is probably going to murder us all anyway, so we might as well have a little fun now, while we are still alive!”

 

into it

Speaking of which, Danny, you ignorant slut?  Aren’t you supposed to be back with your ex?  What are you doing making out with your serial killing other ex?

Still playing “defense,” Scott absorbs a bleeding (and very whiny) Coach Crackhead’s pain, while Papa Argent and Derek become unlikely allies / co-defendants in a quest to find out the Real Reason they find themselves in handcuffs, while trapped at a police station.

give him air

 

the finger

 

make peace

 

“Is it at least a middle finger?  Because it would be a heck of a lot funnier if a middle finger framed us for murder?”

“I’m the spark that lit your fire, sweetheart.”

lit your fire

 

he's insane

Peter shamelessly hits on the still-underage Lydia, while Allison stands by for moral support (with a few weapons up her sleeve, just in case).  Uncle Alpha informs Lydia that his bite is responsible for bringing out her banshee abilities, which he seems to know quite a bit about, for someone who spent most of season 2 decomposing in the dirt, like a very tall, recently stomped-on earthworm . . .

heard party

For example, Peter tells Lydia that the real gift of the banshee is not its scream, but its exceptional supernatural   hearing ability.   The scream merely blocks out other sounds to make hearing the dead more possible.

lyd screams

 

“Everybody stop talking,  Can’t you see I’m trying to think?”

Of course, with Peter, there’s always a catch.  And this one involves Lydia communing with the nasty fingernails extracted from Derek’s mom’s dead body, which apparently contain within them a memory Mama Hale extracted from Peter Hale’s scull before she died . . .

stole a memory

Meanwhile back at school . . .

“There’s a Bomb on the Bus”

Apparently, Nogitsu-Stiles planted a gift-wrapped bomb on a school bus and handed it to none-other than Puking Jared from the Motel California episode . . .

not happy

(Poor Puking Jared, for a kid with a chronic case of bus sickness, he sure seems to spend more time on a bus then any other character on this show.)

not throw up

If only Keanu Reeves were here.  He’d know what to do for sure!

Instead, we have that creepy deputy, who decides that moments before Puking Jared’s head is blown off is the perfect time to give him beauty secrets on how to keep youthful dewy skin, well past the ancient age of 24.

you look really

 

handsome thank you

 

Umm . . . I think he was going to say “modest.”  You look really “modest,” and not self-absorbed at all.

“Hey Pretty Green-Eyed Douchebag!  You keep talking, and Puking Jared won’t have any skin left on his face to protect!”

Keanu Reeves would never make us listen to annoying shit like that, moments before we were supposed to die.  Partly because Keanu Reeves is a cyborg incapable of emoting.

matrix1

Fortunately, as it turns out, there isn’t actually a bomb on the bus.  It’s nothing but a crafty ruse.  A ruse that Nogitsu-Stiles put into motion to distract the Sheriff’s Department from the location of the Real Bomb . . .

stilinski

 

“Hey look!  Puking Jared bought you a new name placard for your office.   Wasn’t that nice of him?”

We know this instinctively because this “Trojan Horse” is wrapped in blue ribbon, which Stiles, himself, has explained has no real purpose, apart from just being “pretty.”

blue just pretty

Hint: it was planted in a box that was supposedly filled with “harmless batteries,” and brought to a place where Derek Hale and Papa Argent are currently under investigation for a murder they didn’t commit . . .

explosions

Telling “Tails”

Where would you hide your deepest darkest secrets?  Talia hid hers in her gross chopped off nails, which for some inexplicable reason revealed to Lydia that the werecoyote from The Secret Circle is actually Peter Hale’s daughter.

controlling nails

 

“Take that, bad manicure!”

not just an uncle

comparison

Kira’s mom hid hers in a book . . . probably because most of the students at Beacon Hills High are functional illiterates.  Though Kira may not have nine tails yet, her mother does . . . or at least she did, before Nogitsu-Stiles Firefly Fried five of them.

hidden tails

 

the tale

Since when do foxtails look like Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-3

 

“Go Ninja, go ninja, GO!”

No wonder she keeps them locked away in a book.  Having nine Shredders attached to your ass on a daily basis would hurt like a bitch!

eyes doing thing

Speaking of things that hurt like a bitch, this couldn’t have felt good for Derek or Papa Argent, who were almost exploded by Nogitsu-Stiles, but just barely escaped with their lives . . .

the rescue again

 

you're ok im ok

(By the way, I found it interesting that Derek was willing to risk his life to save the life of the guy who spent most of Season 1 trying to murder him.  Does anyone else think that Derek’s magical dream talk with Talia involved her predicting his own untimely demise?  Between offering sage advice to Scott, to risking his life for people he doesn’t like very much, Muscles McWolf sure seems like I guy whose just been given a Death Sentence?)

internet derek 1

If only the same could be said for This Guy . . .

friday yet

 

“Is it Friday yet?”

But hey, at least he got to get his arm fondled by Scott, before he Walked into the White Light . . .

fonde fondle

There are worse ways to go, honestly . . .

It was a dark and stormy night . . .

In Beacon Hills it rains a bunch . . .  the better to endure intense chase scenes where-in the firefly guys attempt to murder “Stiles” and his friends fight gamely to protect him.

big bad oni

But who are they REALLLLLY PROTECTING?

Inside the vet’s office, Nogitsu-Stiles reveals his true colors.  And they are EVEEEEEEELLLLLL SEXY!  He knocks out Kira, and digs the Oni sword deeper into his bestie’s tummy, as he monolgues about all the pain he manipulated Scott into sucking up that day . . . pain that could give the Nogitsune more power.  (But how did Nogitsu-Stiles know about Scott sucking up Isaac’s pain, when he wasn’t there to witness it?  Or was he . . . at least in spirit?)

arm twist

Then, this happens, and I’m pretty sure it’s the closest Virginal Stiles has ever come to an honest-to-goodness orgasm caused by something other than his right hand.  (Hey, even psychotic fox possession has its benefits, right?)

tickle finge

 

twisty

 

give it to me

 

even more

 

orgasm face

 

was it as good for you

 

“Was it as good for you, as it was for me, Scott?”

that was amazing

“Virgin,schmirgin, you are so much better at this than Allison ever was!”

Talk about getting off on pain!  That Nogitsu-Stiles is one sadomasochistic b*tch, isn’t he?  That couple from 50 Shades of Grey has nothing on him!

sex me now 2

But lest you worry too much about the safety our resident Hot Girl, Scott . . .

hot girl

. . . help is on the way!  The Fox is subdued, poisoned by the same green leafy weed we saw Deaton leach from the Yakuza’s yard less than 40 minutes prior?

have some weed

 

“Enjoy some Japanese Ganja, Nogitsu-Stiles!”

that's some good shit

“That’s some good sh*t!”

And all is safe and right in Beacon Hills?  But for how long?

dont trust the fox

Next week on Teen Wolf, Nogitsu-Stiles winds up in the Loony Bin, which is precisely where Lydia predicted he’d be.   He claims being locked up will keep the world safe from his trickster ass.  But what if this mental institution, a possible former sight for a Japanese Internment camp is precisely where Nogitsu-Stiles wants to be?  What if getting committed is nothing more than another Trojan Horse move from our crafty fox?

Until next time, Werebangers!

winky stiles

9 Comments

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9 responses to “The Trojan Horse – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s Letharia Vulpina”

  1. Well, *Scott* bought it, and it still took a bit of convincing. The Omega Twins, not so much. Sure hope Dylan gets an Emmy nod (yeah, I know, not this channel or any CW show). And am I the only who who snorted at the “Clue” let me out/in joke?

  2. Andre

    Well here I am again and once again this was an episode I have differing opinions about. Depending on the scene it was idiotic, deep or hilarious. And there are a few more plotholes.

    Now, the episode was titled “Letharia Vulpina”? (I usually do not pay attention to them since they mostly seem to be chosen because they sound “cool”). Why? That means “wolf lichen”, the fungus Deaton was collecting (which I thought was spelled “Wolf Lycan” which really would have been a dumb name) and that barely featured in this episode, so why is it called this way? Well to sound “cool” I guess.

    So you probably all read that story in school about how the Greeks defeated the Trojans during the Trojan war, by making them believe they had already won the war, presenting them with an attractive looking package that seemed to cement their victory, and using that package to get themselves behind enemy lines and ultimately defeat their oppressors.
    Oh yeah that story about a bunch of idiots who think that an army that had beleaguered them for 10 years would just give up. Yeah I heard that story.

    You know that first Stiles gif of yours made me wonder:
    Has Isaac ever admitted that he was a douchebag in season 2? Probably not, I mean he is white, muscular, blue-eyed and has dirty blond hair and since Jackson never did anything to apologize, or Derek, or anybody, I guess why should Isaac. At least the show is consistent in that regard.

    He becomes privy to their secrets.
    No offense but we are talking about Scott and his pack. Getting their secrets, the few that there are, isn’t exactly difficult.

    He defeats them, without them even realizing they are being defeated . . .
    Aka, what an actual good antagonist should do. It was about time.

    All of the Teen Wolf villains have tried to some extent to accomplish this, with varying degrees of success.
    Don’t call what you cannot control, the last two villains sucked and so far the nogitsune had only one real shot. There are still two episodes left this season, it still might go bad.

    But none of these attempted takedowns have been as effective as the one perpetrated by Nogitsu-Stiles . . . a sly villain who understands that the best way to defeat your nemeses is to become one of them . . .
    Of course not, the majority of them were werewolves or werewolf descendents on this show are generally dumb as a rock. Oh how I miss the Tasmanian Devil:

    which means I can write a lot less
    Don’t worry, I can make up for that.

    Now, I haven’t checked Career Builder recently to find out how much they pay vets in Beacon Hills, but it must be a lot, because our Deaton had enough moolah to fly all the way to Japan just to slip some paralytic Kanaima snot into poor Yuki Wolf’s puppy chow.
    He probably has his money from the same trust fund that Scott, the twins, Derek and Peter have their money from to finance their bikes, clothes, apartments, school pay etc. etc. etc. They probably have rich dead parents like Jackson and Harry Potter and since all of them are over 18 they have full access to it.

    “Just kidding!” Deaton replies. “He wasn’t. And I just made you touch Kanaima goo. Nana-Nana- NOO NOO!”
    You know as good as it was to finally see someone using his brains on this show, this whole thing with Deaton being able to fly over there, speaking Japanese and getting the lichen it once again cemented his position as the show’s magical negro, the plot device in the form of an African American, just there to help the main white people. Ups, I hear the anger of the people who are racist and think they are not, so I must lie:
    Except for Scott of course, he is the show’s heroic Latino.
    [Not really!]

    “Why was my adorable Yuki eating fox poison from this creepy shrine to my dead father and his massively f*&ked up teeth?” The Yakuza wants to know.
    Yeah they pulled this “blood of a nogitsune” out of their asses. Why do I think this? Well for three reasons:
    1) They introduced one plothole after the other this season.
    2) A nogitsune is in this show an incorporal spirit possessing a human body, why should that blood coming out of the wounds be any different than human blood?
    3) Wolf lichen isn’t even native to Japan. It grows on the bark of living and dead conifers in parts of western and continental Europe, the Pacific Northwest and northern Rocky Mountains of Western North America. If this would make any sense this stuff should be found in Japan. After all there is no time limit for how long it grows as it seems (I mean the first nogitsune was killed what? 20 years ago.

    Dr. Deaton blows the most powerful man in Japan a raspberry, as the latter lies on the floor dumbfounded and motionless, trying to figure out what the f*&k just happened to him, and how he wound up on a teen television show as the nameless patsy, as opposed to in a Martial Arts movie as the main villain, where he clearly belongs.
    In real life his life would be forfeit by now, but this is Teen Wolf and he is the show’s magical plot device so of course he will be fine.

    Cue the slew of dying extras, who moronically step out of the cars into puddles of water, and do the Electric Slide all the way to the morgue (which is very conveniently located, seeing as this all happens right outside the hospital).
    Yeah that was beyond stupid. You could literally see it on the faces of the extras. It was like they were thinking “now I have to die for no reason whatsoever.” You know there is plot and there is plot convenience and this is the latter.
    That and with Isaac just falling down after stepping into the water the whole ordeal was actually more like slapstick than anything else and you could practically here the Darwin awards rolling for these morons.

    And speaking of Isaac:
    Why did he get knocked out and burned so severely this time when last season he just shrugged it off?
    Was there more power this time? And although water would of course carry the electricity better than the street, would the street really be dry or even if, would you be safe standing on the “non-wet” ground? Especially when you touch it with your hands like Allison?
    And why did he step in the water in the first place? How fast was that stuff and wasn’t there something about super quick reflexes? Well since this is the season called the invasion of the plotholes, probably not.

    Then, Kira does some show-offy backflips over cars . . .
    Aka Kira is activating her Mary Sue powers. And you can’t deny that she is. Being stronger and faster or even absorbing energy is one thing, suddenly being able to do back flips, which is something trained, is definitely Mary Sue.

    Sounds familiar?
    Here is some more: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

    So she went from the Asian girl stereotype to the stereotype of the Mary Sue. Well I guess they have to do something for the season finale and so they probably rush it. I mean it’s not as though they would have had 22 episodes to properly explain everything and… no wait, they did, they just simply decided to spit on that and make two seasons instead of one.

    . . .verrrrryyy SLOWWWWWW-LY sucks up all the electricity into her fist to the tune of Dramatic Music, and becomes a hospital hero . . .
    All for dramatic convenience, as became more and more common when season 3b started, just like the fact that Scott suddenly has an awful lot of money and domestic issues are totally ignored.

    Though I’m sure Dead Extra’s 1, 2, 3 and Isaac are probably wishing she did a few less backflips, and chose a slightly snappier Heroic Theme Song, since her doing so would have prevented them from suffering the indignity of frying like bacon
    Hail you my queen. Once again you are right.

    Nonetheless, Scott and Derek are understandably enthralled. After all seeing Kira perform this feat brings back fond memories for both of them . . .
    I think this is nothing special, especially Derek always looks this dumb, and acts this dumb and… seriously why is he supposed to be some sort of mentor to Scott again?

    Like the time that Scott verrrry SLOWWWLLLY popped a bubble with his mind . . .
    . . . and the time that Derek verrrry SLLOWLLLY allowed two wacked out baby werewolves to beat the shit out of him, so that they wouldn’t beat the sht out of his girlfriend, who ended up being a Skeletor-faced psycho killer, anyway.

    I guess each time it was supposed to be dramatic and all but it came along as cheesy, slow and totally unnecessary. Actually the whole “Jennifer in danger” stuff was totally contradictory, I mean why would two allegedly ravenous monsters just stand there and wait for her to see them? Or just slash at Derek’s… what exactly did they slash? His shirt still looked pretty intact.

    But it could also mean that he’s acting in tandem with someone else . . . a second Trojan Horse . . . one who is still hiding dormant behind enemy lines . . .
    Maybe, I guess it can’t be any worse than last season can it? At least so far the nogitsune was better than Deucalion, not that there is much room in the other direction.

    Like for example, the Hot New Deputy, who instantly insisted that the “Mysterious Package” delivered to the Sheriff’s office contained nothing but “harmless batteries and flashlights.” (How many Fedex Delivery guys do you know, who inform you what’s inside their packages before they give them to you?)
    Perhaps, I mean unlike Danny so far, he seems to have some role here.

    And what about Allison? The only member of Scott’s pack, who has yet to be marked by the Oni as her “Self” . . . the woman getting mysterious messages from Japanese internment camps, who, like Stiles, is being haunted by her darker other half . . . a woman who seemed EXTREMELY INTERESTED in Scott’s pain-sucking abilities when he went to visit Isaac, and who made a point of holding his hand tightly, while the wolf did his Arm Fondle Thing . . .
    That again would make some sense. Or maybe there is nothing and the writers simply forgot about her and she was simply a red herring all along, after all they did stuff like that before. If there is something we will probably know in the finale.

    At school, Kira suggests that Nogitsu-Stiles may be terrorizing Beacon Hills as part of some Long-Con Revenge Plot, for wrongs perpetrated against him long ago . . . Riiiight, because we’ve never seen THAT before, on this show? Have we . . .
    That was what I was thinking. I still have some hope yet that we do not have another revenge storyline on our hand because we really don’t need a fourth one (Peter, Matt, Jennifer etc.).
    And I really would not be surprised since like I said already the whole thing with Kira and Scott reminds me of Allison and Scott. Take away Kira’s Korean/Japanese (well Cho is full Korean) ancestry and she is the same type as Allison. Dark hair, pale skin, mysterious family with an alleged special female line, special future and status, acrobatic abilities etc.
    And of course the whole foxes vs. wolves and the wolf lichen thing. All eerily reminiscent of season 1 and 2 werewolf vs hunter.
    They even have insta love and it just “seems all so right”….

    (I thought nudity in the locker room was a requirement on this show. What gives, Jeff Davis?)
    I wondered that as well for some time now. One of the many reasons why season 3a and 3b seemed so different than the ones before in many ways. But I can give you something to make that up:

    (Recognize one of them?)

    And of course this:

    Stiles assures his pals that he’s the Good Stiles. And they instantly believe him, for no other reason than that the kid is just so doggone cute with his spiky hair and blue flannel shirt. And because this particular portion of the pack are not exactly its “A” students, if you catch my drift . . .
    I think I mentioned this before. In season 1 and 2 at least the writers seemed to be aware of how dumb these guys actually are but now it looks as though they are saying: “Look we gave Scott all those books at the start of 3a and he had the word of the day, so now he is smart and you have to believe it.”
    Even if the characters are just as dumb, and possibly more idiotic now (since they really should have learned by now) than ever. It’s just frustrating since I want to see character development. But somehow Scott seems to be the same guy he always was. Seriously if I want to see characters we no development until a plothole comes along I read Twilight or the Cassandra Clare novels. Which by the way have become so bad in their writing that they actually become funny: Clare described Jem with silver skin and claimed he was climbing down a rope with the grace of a bird.

    Peter Hale is equally slutty. Just half a season ago, he was posing as his teenage self, and locking lips with Lydia. Now, he seems to be putting the moves on her mommy. Or is he?
    And another rehash of season 1, just this time it’s Lydia’s mom, not Scott’s, because Peter wants something from the child, which is also a child of a divorce…. And just like Scott, Lydia became supernatural due to Peter.
    See what I mean?

    Upon speaking to her mother, Lydia gets the impression that Peter, with his cryptic talk of “hearing tests,” is using her mother to get to the aurally-attuned banshee, herself . . .
    Why? Sure I get the actually “why”, but why this way? Why not directly? To show how subtle and sneaky Peter is? That train has passed a long time ago. This sounds rather needlessly complicated.

    It’s Trickster Spirit – 3, Wolf Pack- 0, when, mere hours after electrifying the hospital, Nogitsu-Stiles (1) frames Papa Argent and Derek for Silverfinger’s “Murder” still not sure that guy is actually dead, by planting the money from the “weapon sale” in the Argent’s house; and (2) buries a metal chain in the ground near the school cross country field to distract Coach Crackhead, from the trip wire and poison-tipped arrow lying in wait for the comic relief character, right in the middle of the woods.
    Yes, Yes!! YES!!! YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!
    Someone with brain on this show who isn’t a pure plot device. Let’s just hope nogi-Stiles never has sex with any werewolf, as long as that is assured so is his intelligence.

    “Sh*t, I knew I should have gone to Clown College instead of becoming a teacher!”
    Are you sure he isn’t a clown college reject. Because I have never seen someone that hilariously in mortal danger than the coach. 😀

    But hey, at least we got a little makeout time between Danny and Ethan, for all our troubles, right?
    That must have been one of the most awkward kiss scenes I have seen so far. And it shows to me that Danny is just there for scoring LGBT points now, he definitely isn’t an integral part of the story or anything now.
    Either way, it’s nothing compared to this:

    Or this:

    Or even this:

    Btw. there you see how actual 15 year olds look. Just in case you forgot. 😉

    Speaking of which, Danny, you ignorant slut? Aren’t you supposed to be back with your ex? What are you doing making out with your serial killing other ex?
    Nope the guy he kissed a few episodes ago wasn’t his ex, or at least not the same extra. His ex was the guy that looked like Jackson. So basically the same as his current ex. Yeah, Jeff Davis gave as a reeeaaaalllllyyyy diverse show here. Kind of like Cassandra Clare gave us rrreeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy diverse heroes and people and with Magnus Bane a bisexual with truly diverse tastes who of course just happens to nearly exclusively date anglo-looking people. Just pointing something out.

    Still playing “defense,” Scott absorbs a bleeding (and very whiny) Coach Crackhead’s pain, while Papa Argent and Derek become unlikely allies / co-defendants in a quest to find out the Real Reason they find themselves in handcuffs, while trapped at a police station.
    Three things:
    1) The coach in mortal danger is hilarious, I hope he will be in mortal danger again, very often.
    2) Did you notice how Derek’s claws looked in that “stand-off” with Chris when he had his claws at Chris’s throat and Chris had his gun at Derek’s head? In “Silver finger” I noticed that the deep-voiced werewolf suddenly had longer and darker claws when he had Isaac by the throat as opposed to his translucent claws at the start of the episode. And here Derek suddenly had similarly dark claws. They were suddenly brown and looked more like plastic or gnarled wood than ceratine of any sort.
    3) With his comment that he didn’t think Stiles could frame them for murder Derek just revealed himself to be the biggest idiot of this season. As dumb as Scott is (the twins and Isaac don’t count, they are just decoration) he isn’t so dumb to think Stiles couldn’t trick them into such a thing, he is dumb enough to think nogi-Stiles wouldn’t trick them, but not dumb enough to think Stiles isn’t smart enough.
    Which once again makes me wonder: What do you Stereks see in this? Derek hasn’t said one nice thing to Stiles. Ever.

    So from one example of idiocy to the other:
    Why do Lydia and Allison go to Peter? Did I miss them saying that Deaton cannot help? Both girls know that Deaton knows stuff and so why don’t they try asking him first? Why do they go to the psycho? Well dramatic convenience again, and Deaton is just the show’s magical negro after all.
    And isn’t it interesting that Lydia only mentions the football field incidence and nothing else? You would think the writers remember the entire season 2.

    For example, Peter tells Lydia that the real gift of the banshee is not its scream, but its exceptional supernatural hearing ability. The scream merely blocks out other sounds to make hearing the dead more possible.
    Then why can she predict death and all? Doesn’t make much sense if you ask me. How can she hear the death of a person not yet dead?

    Apparently, Nogitsu-Stiles planted a gift-wrapped bomb on a school bus and handed it to none-other than Puking Jared from the Motel California episode . . .
    No, actually Jared just said “they”, not Stiles, he would know him. So who gave him the package?

    Instead, we have that creepy deputy, who decides that moments before Puking Jared’s head is blown off is the perfect time to give him beauty secrets on how to keep youthful dewy skin, well past the ancient age of 24.
    And hallow Jackson clone number 9, or was it 10 already? And I laughed at that already. Who is so dumb to think this guy is below mid-twenties?

    Partly because Keanu Reeves is a cyborg incapable of emoting.
    And still he is hired, even marketed as “Asian” as it seems. You would think Hollywood would learn, but hey Shyamalan keeps making movies so apparently they never learn.

    We know this instinctively because this “Trojan Horse” is wrapped in blue ribbon, which Stiles, himself, has explained has no real purpose, apart from just being “pretty.”
    Maybe this time there is some effort behind this. God knows it wasn’t in so many other cases.

    Where would you hide your deepest darkest secrets? Talia hid hers in her gross chopped off nails, which for some inexplicable reason revealed to Lydia that the werecoyote from The Secret Circle is actually Peter Hale’s daughter.
    Which begs to me the question:
    Why do we need that now? Is that another “redemption” story where the sick psycho gets redeemed via his child, you know like that other sick murderer that fans pathologically adore?

    PS. With the whole throwing of the nails Lydia also exhibited Mary Sue powers.

    Though Kira may not have nine tails yet, her mother does . . . or at least she did, before Nogitsu-Stiles Firefly Fried five of them.
    Which to me first and foremost says two things:
    1) These are not Oni, these are Shikigami. Oni do not function, act or look like that. They are just a cash in on what is cool currently and Davis seems to desperately want to be cool.
    2) And we have another plothole, since if she created/summoned them, why did she set them upon her own daughter? Can’t she tell whether he daughter is possessed? Can Kira even be possessed?

    Also I doubt the show bothers with the whole aspect of the nine-tails of a fox, or if it does only in a very shallow way since a nine-tailed fox would surely not need Oni to do her dirty work, she would be able to do it herself.

    By the way, I found it interesting that Derek was willing to risk his life to save the life of the guy who spent most of Season 1 trying to murder him.
    I didn’t give a crap, I regarded it as another attempt by the writers to be deep or something. But since Tyler Hoechlin constantly looks bland when playing Derek and the writers disregard Derek’s storyline constantly I don’t feel it worth it to get invested in anything surrounding Derek. So should Derek die… I don’t care. He is pretty useless anyway. Actually the show could really use it if it reduces its character numbers.

    In Beacon Hills it rains a bunch . . . the better to endure intense chase scenes where-in the firefly guys attempt to murder “Stiles” and his friends fight gamely to protect him.
    And another chance for Kira to use her Mary Sue powers to show that girls can be cool and tough and fight and… do nothing to gain that and only having one do it, thereby making her special and thereby underlining that normal girls cannot do this. It’s actually kind of offensive when you think about it.

    (But how did Nogitsu-Stiles know about Scott sucking up Isaac’s pain, when he wasn’t there to witness it? Or was he . . . at least in spirit?)
    Scott is not a complex personality. I knew they would come up with that long forgotten power when they showed in at the start. So anyway Nogi-Stiles could bet on it that Scott would do at least something. Possibly also for the show to present how virtuous and thereby deserving of the special Alpha status that Scott has, which we have never seen so far and Scott’s behavior truly doesn’t fit an especially virtuous person.

    Then, this happens, and I’m pretty sure it’s the closest Virginal Stiles has ever come to an honest-to-goodness orgasm caused by something other than his right hand. (Hey, even psychotic fox possession has its benefits, right?)
    You know this was arguably the best scene of the entire season so far. The acting was even better than O’Brian’s last episode. Even Posey did a good job and considered what he can do here and all the dramatic pauses last episode makes me really think that the lack of Posey acting this season is not due to Posey but due to the director. Apparently Posey can act. But do they let him do it? Apparently not. Btw. I am sure fans would have liked it better if Stiles had absorbed energy while having sex with Scott.

    Also, when the nogitsune starts absorbing life energy we have officially vampires in this show.

    “Virgin,schmirgin, you are so much better at this than Allison ever was!”
    If just that would happen. But sorry Slashers, as long as you can be kept content with all the queer baiting of the show you will not get what you want.

    . . . help is on the way! The Fox is subdued, poisoned by the same green leafy weed we saw Deaton leach from the Yakuza’s yard less than 40 minutes prior?
    Like I said, as nice as it is to see someone get something done, Deaton is and stays the magical negro on the show.

    Next week on Teen Wolf, Nogitsu-Stiles winds up in the Loony Bin, which is precisely where Lydia predicted he’d be. He claims being locked up will keep the world safe from his trickster ass. But what if this mental institution, a possible former sight for a Japanese Internment camp is precisely where Nogitsu-Stiles wants to be? What if getting committed is nothing more than another Trojan Horse move from our crafty fox?
    Crafty? Putting a spirit that allegedly feeds on pain and chaos into a mental institution with all those instable minds around him is like sending … an arsonist with a flamethrower into a paper and wood city. It is one of the dumbest ideas you can have.
    Well we will see what will happen.

  3. Anthony Cerbic

    1. As to money influx question – may I suggest that Scott is alpha-taxing Isaac, who sold his dad’s house, for he can’t maintain utilities bills, have bad memories of it and is living at McCalls’ anyway?

    2. Dumb werewolfs – something I noticed since season one. One good in-universe explanation is that lycanthropy is giving extra physical abilities at a cost of mental ones. Physiologically, advanced hearing, sight, smell and agility – all must involve brain signal processing as well. And were will brain power for this be taken from? It stands to reason that the affliction can be perceived as a shift to a more bestial, primal form – both in body and in mind. So, werewolfs all get -20 to their IQ if bite takes.

    3. Oni ignore Alison because she is human, not supernatural. Simple.

    4. Agree on Kira being Mary Sue, but I’m ready to let it slide for Lydia’s talon-throwing skill. May be she was attuned to Talia at the moment?

    5. >Can’t she tell whether he daughter is possessed?
    Oni (I will keep naming them this, for canon-consistency) are pretty autonomous. After Kira’s mother released them, they would seek out nogitsune on their own – not under her direct minute-to-minute control. Most likely she just did not account for her daughter to get into the mix – yet another negligent parent in the show, big surprise.

    6. >Deaton is and stays the magical negro on the show.
    Or, may it be he is keeping true to his druidic ‘true neutral’ alignment and prefers to involve himself when it comes to “maintaining balance” only?

    • Andre

      1. If just the writers would think of that explanation. I mean in season 1 and 2 we saw the McCall’s struggling with just two people, now they are three and both boys can sustain these clothes and Scott can even afford a bike. Are motorbikes in America that much cheaper?

      2. That is a pretty funny explanation. And a good one. But sadly I think the idiocy of the werewolves is simply incompetence on part of the writers, well in that regard, the nogitsune so much is a huge step up from Deucalion and his croonies, and the werewolf stereotype at work, since werewolves, even when maintaining control, are on average pretty dumb in fiction. That is why they usually loose against vampires.

      3. That reasoning does not hold up, since Stiles is not supernatural as well. Also due to the whole Nemeton thing Allison is connected to the supernatural, so either way that doesn’t work what you suggested there.

      4. I think Lydia’s talon-throwing was just there to add tension and show off, sadly something Teen Wolf had from the beginning. Remember Derek’s running on all fours?

      5. If the shadow-ninjas are not under her control, why are they suddenly there as if on command in the hospital? Also if they just looked on their own, why did they specifically target the werewolves first? Why not check Stiles and Allison first? They wouldn’t have been able to put up a resistence. But I think we can agree that what happened so far lets her look like a pretty bad mother. Not just the nogitsune thing but apperently she didn’t tell her daughter anything, at all.

      6. What difference does your suggestion make?
      Look at the definition:
      The Magical Negro is typically but not always “in some way outwardly or inwardly disabled, either by discrimination, disability or social constraint,” often a janitor or prisoner. He has no past; he simply appears one day to help the white protagonist. He usually has some sort of magical power, “rather vaguely defined but not the sort of thing one typically encounters.” He is patient and wise, often dispensing various words of wisdom, and is “closer to the earth.” The magical negro will also do almost anything, including sacrificing himself, to save the white protagonist, as exemplified in The Defiant Ones, in which Sidney Poitier plays the prototypical Magical Negro.

      The Magical Negro serves as a plot device to help the protagonist get out of trouble, typically through helping the white character recognize his own faults and overcome them. Although he has magical powers, his “magic is ostensibly directed toward helping and enlightening a white male character.”
      source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magical_negro

      Another one would be:
      With such deep spiritual wisdom (and sometimes — though not always — actual supernatural powers), you might wonder why the Magical Negro doesn’t step up and save the day himself. This will never happen. So enlightened and selfless is he that he has no desire to gain glory for himself; he only wants to help those who need guidance… which just happens to mean those who are traditionally viewed by Hollywood as better suited for protagonist roles, not, say, his own oppressed people. In fact, the Magical Negro really seems to have no goal in life other than helping white people achieve their fullest potential; he may even be ditched or killed outright once he’s served that purpose. If he does express any selfish desires, it will only be in the context of helping the white protagonists realize their own racism and thereby become better people.
      Source: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagicalNegro
      This fits both Deaton and Morell.

      • Anthony Cerbic

        3. But Stiles IS supernatural. At least at the moment of Oni investigation. Remeber, they seek out the Nogitsune, and he is inside Styles, giving him sort of magicky scent (I guess). Otherwise we must assume Oni know who is being a teen drama character and who is just a ‘regular’ town person, since they don’t check just anybody.

        4. >Remember Derek’s running on all fours?
        I do, it was ridiculous as fuck. When I will create my army of werewolves I will certainly forbid going quadrupedal, unless fully transformed.

        5. I was under impression Oni are like hound dogs. Yes she can command them, but only if she is right there, otherwise mother-fox just lets them roam more or less loose “Go get the Nogitsune, boys”.

        6. The difference is a plot-wise justification (which, we both agree, this show lacks). Deaton and Morell do not just appear to help and be forgotten – they work their own angle behind the scenes, we don’t see the most of it, but it is hinted sufficiently. This is especially true for Morell – weren’t you surprised to see her working at that mental institution?

        I think you disregard them as active players on the board because Scott & Co only cross paths with them episodically (well, this season). But it is to be expected, since the show is obviously Scott-centered.

        I’m ready to compromise, though: may we agree that Deaton ACTS is a “magical negro” to Scott, but definitely is not one on his own? As to why “wise oaks” won’t just snap their fingers and fix everything – we don’t know much how magic works in the setting. It is possible they have no other way but to operate through their champions (yeah, pure speculations here).

        Overall, I have a very relaxed stance towards writers’ falling short here and there. I kinda expected cheese from the very beginning, so I am willing to rule every moot point in their favor. 😀 Not everybody can be a strategic plot genius like Andrew Hussie.

      • Andre

        3. Due to the whole “sacrifice” stuff last season Allison is supernatural as well now. She simply doesn’t have superpowers. These two things are not the same you know. Also the shadow-ninjas “know” nothing, because quite frankly I think its pretty obvious that the writers do not treat plotdevices like them in this way. I think the whole thing with them targeting Kira as well was rather to create “drama,” like when they shipped of Jennifer with Derek last season so we would be “shocked” when it was revealed that she was the darach. Not that anyone was even remotely surprised and quite frankly when she “died” the first time after the “big climax” Hoechlin’s bland face didn’t help either to make me feel any drama.

        4. So we both agree the running on all fours thing was a stupid idea. No clue why they thought this would look cool. It was silly in Buffy and it is silly now.

        5. I personally do not think the shadow-ninjas are like hound dogs. Personally I think the writers didn’t really think them through. I mean, why didn’t these idiots simply attack the characters in their sleep?

        There is no compromise on Deaton’s magical negro status, since its not an opinion I just came up with on a whim. It is the conclusion based on the facts. Deaton and Morell have been given no past, they appear and dissapear without any rhyme or reason apart from being convenient plot devices, the other characters do not even think of them like actual people or otherwise Lydia and Allison would not have gone to Peter first and Scott and Stiles would have asked Deaton for as much information about the whole supernatural world stuff a long time ago, because Derek apparently is no help.
        If magic works the way you say than the show must present it as such and as long as these characters have not been given a past and treated as characters they stay magical negroes. That is how that works.

        I did not expect a perfect show either, but at least the authors should be trying to make sure what Davis claims and claimed about this show would come true. But its not. This isn’t even a horror show, but nonetheless its put into this genre. The other genres it is categorized under:
        Teen drama
        Comedy-drama
        Supernatural
        Action
        Romance
        All fine. But Horror, no way!

  4. Anthony Cerbic

    Sacrifice, shmacrifice. It is like saying she can be supernatural by a virtue of banging werewolves – they rubbed magick on her! 😀 One can /suspect/ her to be snatural after being involved in some ice bathing ritual, but suspicions are just that. Thus I prefer to use lack of Oni attention as an indicator for her normalcy, rather than a mistake on part of the writers.

    But I see you are standing your ground there firmly, so I will leave it, I laid my arguments and it up to everyone to decide for themselves.

    Same goes for the druids. As for me, enough of their past was hinted and shown to certainly make them more than just plot devices. But it seems like it would require a full blown spin-off (or two, for each of them) to shift your opinion, so yeah, OK.

    The bottom line is, whatever our differences are, we both will be watching it to the bitter finale. Like total suckers.

    • Andre

      I have no words for the amount of disrespect you just showed. So that is your way of doing it? Just disregarding another’s statements of being of no value?

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