Greetings Werebangers! This week the Scooby Gang came up with a devious plan to force the Benefactor out of hiding, and possibly get him to reveal his identity . . .
. . . it failed miserably . . .
. . . also, lots of people slept . . .
. . . some people boned . . .
. . . and Lydia, once again, found herself on an entirely different show than everyone else . . .
Let’s review, shall we?
[As always, special thanks to Andre for the fantabulous screencaps you see here. I most definitely wouldn’t have “visual confirmation” of Derek’s six pack each week without him. Thanks to whatever the heck Kate (or Peter?) did to him, the dude may be less of a wolf than he once was, but he’s clearly just as much Man Meat as he always was!]
Embrace the Little Spoon
The Politics of Bedsharing are arguably the most complicated and highly sensitive points of negotiation, when navigating a new relationship (second only to Matters Involving the Toilet Seat and Where To Hide the Feminine Hygiene Products). Are you a sleeper who requires personal space, while your significant other is a cuddler? Do either of you happen to be blanket or pillow hogs? Do you have a tendency to kick people in your sleep? Do both of you crave the side of the bed closer to the door, to avail yourself of easy escape in the event of a surprise zombie attack? Does one of you talk in your sleep, or (gasp) snore?
Though Stiles opening sequence dream was obviously less of an actual dream, and more of a nostalgic memory, I enjoyed it for its subtlety, in the same way I enjoyed Stiles’ arguably more plot-relevant dream sequence, which kicked off Season 3A, and cleverly foreshadowed his nogitsune possession.
At the beginning of the Season, Stiles complained to Scott that Malia had, immediately upon starting a relationship with Stiles, taken it upon herself to become his regular bed mate. He also gripes that Malia has insisted that Stiles consistently function as the “little spoon” during their cuddle sessions.
We see that there’s at least a bit of truth to Stiles’ initial complaint, as one of the lone representatives of Team Human on the show tosses and turns in bed, bemoaning how, for years, he slept comfortably alone at its center. Meanwhile, Malia continually insists that his sleeping arrangements have now changed, so he best get used to it. Malia’s matter-of-fact insistence that, as Stiles’ “mate”, she automatically earns the right to sleep in his bed, even if it interrupts his normal sleep pattern, is either admirably feminist, or annoyingly clingy. How you view it, probably says a lot about how you view Malia as a character.
The veracity of Stiles’ second complaint is called into question, however, when we learn that, while it is Malia that first suggests the position of Little Spoon to Stiles, he is actually the one likes it best, as it offers him both the ability to have his center of the bed sleep uninterrupted, while offering him the added benefit of his girlfriend’s warmth and affection. As far as Bed-sharing Negotiations go, this one actually seems to have gone rather smoothly . . .
(Even if it has caused Stiles to feel a bit neutered by his girlfriend in the process, hence his need to lie to Scott about how the whole Little Spoon thing actually came about . . .)
“It’ll be our little secret.”
Of course, all of this is basically a long of saying that Stiles has come to rely on Malia’s Big Spoon Comfort to get him through the night. And now that he finally has the bed back to himself, is surprised to find that it feels lonelier and emptier than he remembered . . .
All together now . . . AWWWWW!
Something Borderline Idiotic . . .
The first time I ever suspected Papa McCall as possibly being a Benefactor suspect was this week, when (1) a ridiculous amount of time was spent on him recapping the events that led to the Chemist’s demise using the phrase “visual confirmation,” (2) an even more ridiculous amount of time was spent on him telling Scott about how the key to murdering dangerous individuals was to become cold and emotionless (and when that fails, drink yourself silly, (3) and then Scott’s dad proceeded to conveniently take himself out of the picture for the entire episode at the precise time when Scott was calling out the Benefactor directly and attempting to meet him face-to-face.
Also worthy of note: Papa McCall is kind of hot. The fact that I noticed this around the same time I pegged him as a possible sociopath says a lot about my taste in men . . .
Also on my list of Teen Wolf eligible bachelors . . .
Definite Sociopath #1
Potential Sociopath #2
Evil Wendigo . . .
Nogitsune Stiles . ..
Nuff said . . .
But enough about me, let’s talk about the Scooby Gang and their self-described “Borderline Idiotic” plan to track down the Benefactor . . .
First, what the Scooby Gang got right. A spider has eight legs, cut off one or two, and the creature can still survive quite well. If you really want to defeat a spider you have to smush it chop off its head.
And so it goes with the Benefactor and his seemingly endless supply of Assassins of the Week. Up until this point, the Scooby Gang has focused on trying to catch assassins before they made their next kill.
The Mute
The Orphans
The Chemist
But to really protect the folks on the Deadpool, the Scooby Gang has to cut off its source of funding.
Now, if I were part of the Scooby Gang, my suggestion as to how to do this would be as follows: fake a convincing death shot of Scott . . .
. . . get the money from the Benefactor . . .
. . . hire a very good hacker (like Danny) to trace the funds back to their original source . . .
. . . bring down the Benefactor . ..
. . . take my friends on a much needed vacation to Tahiti . . .
Now, admittedly, that wouldn’t make for a very good show, which is probably why the Scooby gang decided to NOT show the benefactor visual confirmation of the deceased in order to “cull him out” . . .
. . . but “kill” Scott anyway, in a highly risky supernatural procedure, just for sh*ts and giggles . . .
Geez! Haven’t they learned anything from the whole Bathtub Death Fiasco of Season 3A?
I think as soon as we heard the plan, most of us Werebangers figured it wouldn’t work. After all, last we checked, the Benefactor wasn’t a moron. So, even if he did send someone to obtain “visual confirmation” of Scott’s demise (he didn’t), there’s a good chance he’d use a pawn completely unrelated to the whole Deadpool thing . . .
In the Scooby Gang’s defense, the “brains” of their operation was otherwise occupied . . .
Leaving our stalwart crew a bit like an eight-legged headless spider themselves . . .
Besides, this episode wasn’t really so much about the Benefactor, as it was about Scott’s unresolved romantic feelings for Little Liam, right? (hint, hint, wink, wink)
Playing Dead . . .
In Season 3A, Scott McCall went swimming in an ice cold bath tub and “died in a bathtub for eight hours . . . waking up with no obvious signs of brain damage (apart, of course, from the brain damage that was there before).
But this time around, Scott’s death is going to be by Kira-induced electric shock, which means he only has 45 minutes . . .
“Light as a feather, stiff as a board . . . light as a feather, stiff as a board.”
“Kitsune-gasm?”
No worries, this gives Scott plenty of time to have not one, not two, but three three homoerotic dream sequences, and some time left over to watch this old movie trailer to get in the appropriate mood . . .
In slightly less cynical news, Scott’s fake death was well done . . .
. . . not to mention ridiculously well-acted by Mama McCall, who . . . considering she was in on the act, the whole time, and wailed on cue, like a champ . . . should seriously consider quitting her ridiculously underpaid and underappreciated job as The Only Living Medical Professional in Beacon Hills Who Isn’t a Total Moron . . . and heading to Hollywood, baby!
In which, Derek and Braeden “Heal Each other’s Wounds” . . . Biblically
Much like the Lydia scenes in this episode, Derek’s and Braeden’s Fun with Guns Sexpisode seemed like it came from a completely different show. (Was Derek left in the dark about the Scooby Gang ‘s plan because Scott and Stiles don’t want to give him and Peter back their money? It’s never really explained.)
And yeah, Derek’s and Braeden’s “romance” never really had much in the way of “background” or “character development.”
But hey, no complaints here. I’d watch Tyler Hoechlin Wereporn anyday (and twice on Monday nights).
Plus, from a plot perspective, given Derek’s diminished were powers, and the fact that his hand-to-hand combat abilities haven’t really been up to snuff since Season 2, it’s high time our Adult Wolf learned how to a handle a gun and “bend” into exotic sexual positions the rules of combat. Don’t you think?
And who better to be his Sensei then Weapons Expert, Chris Argent That New Chick He’s Boning?
Words with Friends
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Beacon Hills, Chris Argent and Stiles are engaging in a friendly G-chat with the Benefactor, using the handle “G” (for Guest? Good Guy? Greenberg?)
“Can we use gravestone and skeleton emojis?”
Stiles argues that the chat could be a bit more colorful, and contain a few more high-scoring words . . .
(He forgets that this is the same guy that calls his secret weapons stash, Argent’s Arms.)
When careful prodding doesn’t work, Chris the Badass resorts to threats . . .
Message sent and received . . .
Argent then wires the security cameras to the Scooby Gang’s laptop, so they can track absolutely nothing the point in time where a guy wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m the Benefactor” casually waltzes into the hospital to take Scott McCall’s pulse . . .
We’ll be back, after this enlightening Dream Sequence Brought to You by Scott McCall . . .
Homoerotic Dream Sequence One: Liam Gets Forked by the Mute!
Scott McCall is in the closet. He climbs out. Hooray! (Good for you, Scott.)
Now, he’s at school, and sees Liam.
Liam tosses Scott his balls.
Scott catches and fondles the balls. Then Liam jogs very slowly away from Scott (playing hard to get, I guess, emphasis on “Hard”). Scott chases him.
He finds a laptop in the classroom. The keyword is his name. The targets are The Mute, The Orphans, and The Chemist, all of whom are already dead, so Scott gets no payment for killing them. Liam wants Scott to kill them AGAIN anyway, because homoerotic characters in dream sequences have the memory capacity of fruit flies.
Scott refuses, so the Mute comes back from the dead, and jams his big stick into Liam hard and repeatedly, thus proving that even ugly deceased Albinos without lips get more action than Scott.
Snooze you lose, Alpha!
Malia, I am your father the Desert Fox is your mother . . .
Malia breaks into the Hale vault again to visit her bio dad. They bond together by punching walls . . .
. . . and reading Malia’s bloody illegible adoption records. Peter promises Malia he will help her find her mother, The Desert Wolf, whose name makes her sound vaguely like an exotic dancer Peter met at a sleazy night club on the Las Vegas Strip . . .
It would certainly explain a lot about Malia’s nascent erotic dancing abilities . . .
Speaking of parental bonding . . .
Ashes, ashes, we all fake our deaths!
And here we thought Gerard Argent was the only faux-deceased geriatric in Beacon Hills . . .
When Lydia’s mom follows her to the Lake House, the latter attempts to ply her with information about her late grandmother’s connection to late Meredith Walker.
Apparently, the two were roomies at Eichen House, who shared the same Boy from Sixth Sense tendencies, and possibly a magical mystical Bottom of the Cereal Box Benefactor Decoder Ring?
Lydia’s mom tells Lydia that her grandmother wished that Lydia, specifically, be the one to scatter her ashes on the latter’s 18th birthday. But then, Lydia’s mom figures, “hey, in TV time, my daughter’s 17th birthday was about 3 years ago. So, screw that old coot. Let’s scatter them now.”
Lydia dutifully opens her grandmother’s urn and is surprised to find that it’s not filled with ashes at all but with . . . wait for it . . .
Lydia then inexplicably determines that the entire house is made of mountain ash, which any of the Three Little Pigs will tell you is a bad construction idea . . .
(In other news, Mountain Ash has just been upgraded to a series regular in Season 5.)
Homoerotic Dream Sequence Two: Liam Gets Forked by the Mute, the Sequel (Now with more fangs and slightly less forking!)
“My what big teeth you have,” Liam muses to Scott, after the latter climbs out of the closet, and fondles Liam’s balls, just like before.
“Do you think it makes me sexier?” Scott inquires, more or less.
“No, it just makes me deader,” Liam replies, as he falls into Scott’s arms, forked again, by the Mute.
Damn Scott . . . so close, yet so far away . . .
Elsewhere in Awake Land, Live Liam is having only slightly greater luck, as he and Kira go to investigate a power outage on the roof, and find themselves facing off against those hulking Berserker things who are boredly kicking their teenybopper asses . . .
(Newsflash Kira: The power to electrocute people > the power to blindly wave around a knife and hit absolutely no one, before falling on your ass and daydreaming about your boyfriend, while napping . . . just saying)
Meanwhile . . . at the Hospital That Only Main Characters Can Leave Alive . . .
Kira’s mom fights Berserkers . . .
. . . and does even worse than Kira . . . Ruhr oh!
And Kate attempts to battle her brother Chris for Scott’s not-quite-so-dead body . . .
But after a little coaxing from her big bro decides to leave empty-handed
Homoerotic Dream Sequence Three: Scott Finally Forks Liam (while the Mute watches)
Out of the closet again . . .
But this time, it’s not Liam’s balls that Scott is fondling, it’s his bloody stick . . .
The Mute comes by to instruct Scott on the most effective thrusting motion . . .
. .. and then . . . it’s FORK TIME!
Now, that’s one satisfied Scott!
Alls well that ends . . .
Things happen kind of fast from here . . .
Scott wakes up . . .
The Scooby Gang is relieved . . .
So are Peter and Kate . . .
Malia returns to Stiles . . .
Annnnnd then she leaves again, wondering if sociopathy may be a hereditary trait . . .
Speaking of hereditary traits, apparently the Benefactor may be a banshee and/or Lydia’s grandmother . . . .
Next, week on Teen Wolf . . .
WE FINALLY GET TO SEE DEPUTY PARRISH NAKED, HOORAY!!!!
Until then, Werebangers!
Let's Go Shopping!
Buy Comeuppance!
Buy Hollywood Warlock!
Buy InGENEious!
Buy Life Sucks, Death Bites!
Buy Me and You, Inc.!
Snarky Goes to Hollywood!
The Exquisite Corpse
TV Recappers Anonymous 
Like I said in my E-Mail:
I give up any hope of Teen Wolf coming up with a smart episode. This was just so stupid. A comment many here already cannot read anymore I guess because I said it so often, but its true and boy… what are the writers thinking? Does Davis threaten to shoot them when they leave or do something different? Kind of like I imagine John Travolta might have done to the crew when they filmed Battlefield Earth.
This week the Scooby Gang came up with a devious plan to force the Benefactor out of hiding, and possibly get him to reveal his identity . . .
Which I thought was stupid from the beginning for the fact alone that this way they would have to explain how Scott could just come back from the dead. Not that I think Teen Wolf would act on that, as they ignore such things now because they do not fit the plot.
. . . it failed miserably . . .
How anyone would think this could work is beyond me.
. . . and Lydia, once again, found herself on an entirely different show than everyone else . . .
This was really weird.
but he’s clearly just as much Man Meat as he always was
Was he ever anything else since mid season 2?
Though Stiles opening sequence dream was obviously less of an actual dream, and more of a nostalgic memory, I enjoyed it for its subtlety, in the same way I enjoyed Stiles’ arguably more plot-relevant dream sequence, which kicked off Season 3A, and cleverly foreshadowed his nogitsune possession.
Which was a complete opposite of Scott’s stupid dream sequences here. And as much as they put effort into Stiles’ memory I cannot find myself to care for it. Not when it makes no sense at all and when they had teased the viewers so long with Stiles’ virginity and then they just make it “puff” and that was it. This relationship is the embodiment of the shows’ “it happens because we say so” modus operandi. They do it all the time now and so nothing really makes sense in-show anymore (Scott’s dreams were also an embodiment of that). And they really don’t get what a pedophilic and out of nowhere relationship that actually is don’t they?
We see that there’s at least a bit of truth to Stiles’ initial complaint, as one of the lone representatives of Team Human on the show tosses and turns in bed, bemoaning how, for years, he slept comfortably alone at its center. Meanwhile, Malia continually insists that his sleeping arrangements have now changed, so he best get used to it.
So basically Malia is truly a romanticized Stalker… as if their relationship wasn’t creepy enough as it is.
, is either admirably feminist, or annoyingly clingy.
Feminism is about free choice, and that is something Malia definitely denies to Stiles so it’s clear that it is not feminist at all.
I guess similar to Kira’s short tour into lacrosse this is one of the many pseudofeminist moments of the show.
How you view it, probably says a lot about how you view Malia as a character.
In my eyes she is such a plothole and so stalkerish that I cannot see her as something positive. People thinking Scott is well written might, but not me.
while offering him the added benefit of his girlfriend’s warmth and affection.
Answer me this question: Why is she his girlfriend?
Even if it has caused Stiles to feel a bit neutered by his girlfriend in the process, hence his need to lie to Scott about how the whole Little Spoon thing actually came about . ..
I think you gave the writers too much credit. I consider this just another round in the long “Lets make fun of Stiles” game, which has stopped being funny a long time ago to me, because its just so repetitive.
And now that he finally has the bed back to himself, is surprised to find that it feels lonelier and emptier than he remembered . . .
So Stiles now has something similar to Stockholm Syndrome?
Wouldn’t be the first time I saw something like that. We had similar stuff in Dante’s cove where they tried to claim Kevin loves Ambrosius, the guy who kidnapped him from his actual boyfriend Toby and kept him as his boy toy (where Kevin pretended to like it) for 6 months:
Trust me, the video makes it out to look romantic, but it really isn’t.
The first time I ever suspected Papa McCall as possibly being a Benefactor suspect was this week,
Maybe he is, but maybe that would be too smart for the writers. I have the feeling that all the recapping was simply because the makers think the viewers are stupid. They had done things like that several times during the season so far.
an even more ridiculous amount of time was spent on him telling Scott about how the key to murdering dangerous individuals was to become cold and emotionless (and when that fails, drink yourself silly
Why do they keep up with this “it was necessary?” Also doesn’t this guy have some inkling and plan to get more agents into town? They had several murderers several times. And why isn’t there a curfew and angry citizens and all?
I think a lot of it was either useless foreshadowing or leading to the wrong direction. Not to mention that due to this “pep talk” we actually have another person much more suitable to appear in Scott’s later dream.
Not to mention that it feels like they wanted to use that to make us pity him and excuse his drinking… if he needed that to do his job he should have quit dammit.
(3) and then Scott’s dad proceeded to conveniently take himself out of the picture for the entire episode at the precise time when Scott was calling out the Benefactor directly and attempting to meet him face-to-face.
I don’t know, in that case you could say that Kira’s mom is the benefactor since she barely appeared so far and was at the end of the episode conveniently shipped somewhere else.
Also he finally caught on that the kids know stuff. Interestingly he didn’t caught on with his wife… yeah I see where Scott got his idiocy from. Says a lot about the qualities you need to have to become an FBI agent in the Teen Wolf verse.
Papa McCall is kind of hot. The fact that I noticed this around the same time I pegged him as a possible sociopath says a lot about my taste in men . . .
This explains your love for the Cassandra Clare books and TVD.
But to really protect the folks on the Deadpool, the Scooby Gang has to cut off its source of funding.
And isn’t that the kind of situation where an FBI dad would come in handy? I mean seriously, the more I think about it the more unnecessary the whole plan is.
Now, if I were part of the Scooby Gang, my suggestion as to how to do this would be as follows: fake a convincing death shot of Scott . . .
. . . get the money from the Benefactor . . .
. . . hire a very good hacker (like Danny) to trace the funds back to their original source . . .
. . . bring down the Benefactor . ..
. . . take my friends on a much needed vacation to Tahiti . . .
Again: Why aren’t you writing this? This is a much better plan. And easier to do.
And sorry I cannot consider these “assassins” and the Benefector smart if they do not eliminate the two obvious threats first: Stiles and Lydia. You know the two with the actual skills to figure stuff out.
Geez! Haven’t they learned anything from the whole Bathtub Death Fiasco of Season 3A?
Of course not, that is what smart people do and ever since Stiles had sex with Malia he was infected by the stupidity virus.
I think as soon as we heard the plan, most of us Werebangers figured it wouldn’t work. After all, last we checked, the Benefactor wasn’t a moron. So, even if he did send someone to obtain “visual confirmation” of Scott’s demise (he didn’t), there’s a good chance he’d use a pawn completely unrelated to the whole Deadpool thing . . .
Definitely, albeit the Scoobies did a lot of other things totally stupid during the ordeal.
Like having Jackson 2.0 there for no reason. They do not even seem to train him. This is just there because he needs to be there in the mind of the writers.
Also what stupidity drives them to… the writers ignored the IED again didn’t they?
In the Scooby Gang’s defense, the “brains” of their operation was otherwise occupied . . .
Well she was immune against Peter’s bite so it’s possible that she is at least more resistant against the werewolf STD called contagious stupidity.
But this time around, Scott’s death is going to be by Kira-induced electric shock, which means he only has 45 minutes . . .
Why? Oh right the plot convenience called Alpha powers.
At least Kira’s mom points out the big plothole… don’t worry, plot convenience will save them. And Scott didn’t ask what would happen before? Who thinks this idiot is smart? Davis? Does no one on this show speak about plans beforehand?
Also if he stays like this longer than 45 minutes he dies? Seriously at the time his mom had her “breakdown” the 45 minutes must have passed already. I know they are trying to claim less had passed but that doesn’t work at all. Probably not even if the McCall’s live right next to the hospital, which they don’t.
this gives Scott plenty of time to have not one, not two, but three three homoerotic dream sequences,
Just to make sure: gay sex is rather like this right:
Because what you wrote there makes me think you consider homoeroticism to be like this:
. . . not to mention ridiculously well-acted by Mama McCall, who . . . considering she was in on the act, the whole time, and wailed on cue, like a champ . . . should seriously consider quitting her ridiculously underpaid and underappreciated job as The Only Living Medical Professional in Beacon Hills Who Isn’t a Total Moron . . . and heading to Hollywood, baby!
Apparently they forgot that while Melissa Ponzio is an actress and Melissa McCall is not. They have the same first name though… coincidence?
Much like the Lydia scenes in this episode, Derek’s and Braeden’s Fun with Guns Sexpisode seemed like it came from a completely different show. (Was Derek left in the dark about the Scooby Gang ‘s plan because Scott and Stiles don’t want to give him and Peter back their money? It’s never really explained.)
I doubt it ever will be explained, just like we never knew what the Alpha pack was waiting for or how they knew of Scott. They never explained so many other things and quite frankly Derek doesn’t seem to be overly concerned about the loss of his power. Is there no “druid” or other werewolf he knows whom he could ask?
And yeah, Derek’s and Braeden’s “romance” never really had much in the way of “background” or “character development.”
I think they simply want to give Derek another girlfriend again and so it has to be like this… and apparently Scott is not the only one not affected at all by his previous relationships. I mean does Derek act like someone who had to kill his first girlfriend, whose second one killed nearly all he knew and whose third (as far as we know) became a monster when she was angry? Not in my mind.
But hey, no complaints here. I’d watch Tyler Hoechlin Wereporn anyday (and twice on Monday nights).
I just wish he would die and make space for better werewolves. Or generally other characters. He is even more useless now than Kira’s parents.
And who better to be his Sensei then Weapons Expert, Chris Argent That New Chick He’s Boning?
Oh Braeden teaches Derek now… yep Magical negro through and through.
Also Derek doesn’t need missing bullets to look stupid, he is a werewolf, being stupid is part of the deal. And did this idiot ever think of taking a step back while he tries to “shot”… you know outside of her reach. What a moron. And the kiss is not bending, that is hormones.
When careful prodding doesn’t work, Chris the Badass resorts to threats . . .
Yeah sure threatening the person who has enough money to hire several assassins (still sounds like bounty hunters to me), that seems like a smart idea.
Of course he needs visual confirmation because otherwise anyone could just claim to have killed Scott like that. So why would they think it would ever work without? Or work period.
Think about it, when you hire a bunch of people to kill others then surely at least some might try to kill the one with the highest bounty on his head without killing him. So you would have something better than visual confirmation, especially in this day and age.
But apparently the writers still live in the 1930s.
PS: Isn’t it odd that all those assassins know so much about the supes?
Argent then wires the security cameras to the Scooby Gang’s laptop, so they can track [absolutely nothing] the point in time where a guy wearing a t-shirt that says “I’m the Benefactor” casually waltzes into the hospital to take Scott McCall’s pulse . . .
Yeah it is really stupid. I didn’t believe it to be possible, but now that you provided your own view of it all, the story reveals itself to have even more flaws.
And seriously, hours must have passed by that point, no way was it just 45 minutes.
Scott McCall is in the closet. He climbs out. Hooray! (Good for you, Scott.)
I think you mean he fell out of it (btw. at the third time you would think the guy knows how to catch his fall, but hey this is Scott). And not only do I wonder why we have this dream to begin with but why would Jackson 2.0 be in it first?
He finds a laptop in the classroom. The keyword is his name. The targets are The Mute, The Orphans, and The Chemist, all of whom are already dead, so Scott gets no payment for killing them. Liam wants Scott to kill them AGAIN anyway, because homoerotic characters in dream sequences have the memory capacity of fruit flies.
I wonder why his name is the password or why he thinks he has to kill anyone. I mean he never killed anyone, not even close. Even in season 1 Peter was technically killed by Stiles, Jackson, Allison and Derek, not even remotely by Scott. Scott didn’t do anything really to beat the Alpha pack and now: The Mute was killed by Peter and the Orphans by Kate and the berserkers and the Chemist by his father. So what is with this “Scott has to kill someone now?” Is this another attempt to have him be in the spotlight?
Scott refuses, so the Mute comes back from the dead, and jams his big stick into Liam hard and repeatedly, thus proving that even ugly deceased Albinos without lips get more action than Scott.
This scenario is the only one that makes any sense. Partially. You see not only is the reason of “Because you are the Alpha” in the dream BS!!! (Scott is the “Main character” that is the reason) But both Malia and Kira would make more sense. Jackson 2.0 is only there because the writers want to promote him and nothing else. Considered that Scott knows Malia longer and Kira is his girlfriend he has a stronger emotional connection to them, so they should be there. If their absence is supposed to be some sort of attempt not to victimize women then the show is too late for that and it also makes no sense whatsoever. And yes even dreams actually make sense, they make sense when you approach them from an emotional perspective.
. . . and reading Malia’s bloody illegible adoption records. Peter promises Malia he will help her find her mother, The Desert Wolf, whose name makes her sound vaguely like an exotic dancer Peter met at a sleazy night club on the Las Vegas Strip . . .
It would certainly explain a lot about Malia’s nascent erotic dancing abilities . . .
If just it were so, it would be more interesting than what we will get I am sure.
Also:
Oh, so another memory stolen by Talia…. This is so half-assed and convenient
How did he find that “desert wolf?”
Oh find her mother… yeah why would non-biological parents have any significance on this show right? Seriously, the moment she finds out she adopted her actual parents seem to matter no more.
And wait, didn’t the tape say that the Hales turned when they hit puberty? So why did Malia turn?
In addition when even google finds only a few examples of coyotes being referred to as desert wolves, then you know that they picked the name only to sound cool.
And here we thought Gerard Argent was the only faux-deceased geriatric in Beacon Hills . . .
Here is a thought. If Kate wants to restore the Argents to glory, why doesn’t she have her berserkers kidnap Scott and let Gerard place his arm on Scott’s fangs again or perhaps try to help Gerard? Just a thought you know. Or maybe sniff out Cora and use her as a hostage… oh wait, that would be smart.
Apparently, the two were roomies at Eichen House, who shared the same Boy from Sixth Sense tendencies, and possibly a magical mystical Bottom of the Cereal Box Benefactor Decoder Ring?
Why were both there? Seriously, Lydia doesn’t seem that crazy from the outside. So why couldn’t her grandmother hide it?
And apparently her dad was not a precog… yeah another pseudofeminist element… great.
Lydia’s mom tells Lydia that her grandmother wished that Lydia, specifically, be the one to scatter her ashes on the latter’s 18th birthday. But then, Lydia’s mom figures, “hey, in TV time, my daughter’s 17th birthday was about 3 years ago. So, screw that old coot. Let’s scatter them now.”
If this means that all of this was seen ahead by her grandma than the “Banshees” have gone into full blown precog territory here. Since this is way beyond sensing death.
Also:
How long has Lydia been coming to that house? Seriously, how much time has passed in this season? Since the killing of “the Chemist” must have happened yesterday or so.
Figure something out? What? The lists? What was there before the assassins came that she would figure out?
What? Did she try to figure out about Meredith even beforehand? Did she even know of her prior to the list and all?
Lydia then inexplicably determines that the entire house is made of mountain ash, which any of the Three Little Pigs will tell you is a bad construction idea . . .
Yeah but the writers of Teen Wolf don’t know that. In addition, you don’t need to built the whole house out of it. Just lay some mountain ash outside of it and maybe the floor and the house would be safe. Well as long as someone is there to will it to work of course.
And if the believing is necessary for it to affect you why did mountain ash affect Gerard in season 2?
“My what big teeth you have,” Liam muses to Scott, after the latter climbs out of the closet, and fondles Liam’s balls, just like before.
Only now does he change? Why not sooner? He must have been an Alpha for months. And again, why Jackson 2.0? Why not Stiles? Wouldn’t that make more sense? Wouldn’t a let’s say subconscious part of Scott who figures stuff out take the form of Stiles and not Jackson 2.0?
And if Scott is afraid of becoming monstrous why isn’t Peter there? Isn’t that what he is afraid of, to become like Peter?
And why is the mute the killer? He saw him what? Once for a few minutes? Why would that guy be there?
The power to electrocute people > the power to blindly wave around a knife and hit absolutely no one, before falling on your ass and daydreaming about your boyfriend, while napping . . .
Actually I have no idea, whether she can willfully electrocute people or whether she absorbs electricity to … no wait, you are right, she can electrocute people. Man these writers are dumb. And heck at least the unnecessary fight between Deaton and Satomi looked good, but what Kira did there was not even good showing off, it was rehearsed dancing and nothing else.
Not to mention that Kira is stupid, she didn’t learn one bit from her first fight against them. If she did, she would have tried to hit the areas not protected by armor, like legs, upper arms, stomach and side areas. A lot of potential targets you know.
And despite being hit by that covered fist there is not a single mark on her face. Well I guess we cannot have one of the good girls be ugly even for a second can we?
And just for the record, an actual fox would probably do it like this:
Btw. How did the action figure get up there without anyone noticing?
Also, 45 minutes must have been over already. These two going to the roof must have taken a few minutes by itself even if they ran at superspeed. The episode implied a lot of stuff happened over the course of 10 minutes. It would take that long just to get to the roof.
Also what on earth triggers Kira’s memory of her and Scott in the bed? Also they not only have never been on a real date I also see nothing that makes them a couple.
PS. Jackson 2.0s sudden stunt clearly is another indicator that the writers want to promote him.
Kira’s mom fights Berserkers . . .
. . . and does even worse than Kira . . . Ruhr oh!
Well apparently running wasn’t good for her. Maybe that is why she thinks asking their kids to fight for them is better than asking them to run and hide.
And wow this nearly 900 year old kitsune is so badass
Plus. Why doesn’t she heal like she used to? Also I think this is just to get rid of her.
And Kate attempts to battle her brother Chris for Scott’s not-quite-so-dead body . . .
When I saw her and they asked what she wanted there I was thinking:
Maybe she wants to kill Scott to become an Alpha you morons?
But this time, it’s not Liam’s balls that Scott is fondling, it’s his bloody stick . . .
The Mute comes by to instruct Scott on the most effective thrusting motion . . .
. .. and then . . . it’s FORK TIME!
Now, that’s one satisfied Scott!
And better acting then I have scene from Posey in a long time. Makes me wonder whether his constant face is rather due to the director and not Posey’s skills. After all we all remember what George Lucas did to all members of the Star Wars cast.
However, again, why was the Mute there? Why not Peter? Or Kate? Or Deucalion? Or Chris? Or his father? All of these make more sense to represent the urge to kill a thread. If they need to have the Mute there he should be the one to be killed and not Jackson 2.0. This whole dream makes no sense apart from having to promote Jackson 2.0. Nothing about this makes any sense at all. This is like season 4 of TVD, the writers just throw in their raw ideas without any sense or logic.
Speaking of hereditary traits, apparently the Benefactor may be a banshee and/or Lydia’s
If it’s a banshee why the whole visual confirmation thing anyway? Wouldn’t she know already? And doesn’t it occur to these idiotic writers that by these actions the “heroes” might have alerted said benefactor/banshee that they are on to him/her? Well I guess not. Because that would be good for actual anatagonists.
WE FINALLY GET TO SEE DEPUTY PARRISH NAKED, HOORAY!!!!
BOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, but I really don’t care about seeing another Jackson rip-off again.
PSSS. Oh great, the “thank god” by Peter regarding Scott not being dead suggests Scott has to be important later on again. Yeah be prepared for another round of bore.
PSSSS. Do these writers even know what “Time of Death” means?