It’s Always the Quiet Ones – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s “Perishable”

screaming mer

“Anyone got a breath mint?”

You can’t judge a book by its cover. This isn’t exactly new information.   We’ve known this since we were little kids . . . since back when people still read actual books.

half a book about zombies

Of course, not judging a book by its cover is easier said than done. For better or worse, most of us have been raised to make certain assumptions about people, based on limited information. Subconsciously we are taught to believe that pretty people are good, and ugly people are evil. Loud people are strong and confident, and quiet people are meek and submissive. Hot guys with good bodies look good naked . . .

phoenix

Well, that last one happens to be true . . .

Teen Wolf has always been a show that tried to shock its viewers, by flying in the face of these assumptions. But because its viewers are pretty savvy, it has met with limited success in doing so. Most of us pegged Lydia as the banshee, from the first time she opened her mouth to scream.

lyd screams

Photographer Matt was so gosh darn creepy, we pretty much pegged him a kanaima master from day 1.

matt and ma

And “adorkable” English teacher Jennifer fooled positively no one but Derek into thinking she was anything but a Darach in 50’s housewife clothing . . .

evil jenny

I can honestly say that Teen Wolf only legitimately shocked me with its choice of big bad twice in its series run, so far. The first was way back in Season 1 . . .

16_peter

Coma Guy was the one running around in the Gorilla Suit the whole time?

ep 7 alpha popopopculture

I mean, that was pretty friggin brilliant!

smirky peter

The second time Teen Wolf tricked me . . . this past week, in a twist that, if you think about, largely mirrors the Uncle Peter as Alpha reveal of Season 1 . . .

meredith

You would think I would have learned by now . . .

Let’s review, shall we?

nodding oh yeah

[As always, a big hearty banshee scream of thanks to my pack pal Andre for providing all the glorious screencaps you see here. This is a guy you can trust. I guy you’d be proud to have alongside you in battle. A guy who would never douse your car in kerosene and watch you burn alive, while casually listening to Jock Jams on his iPod . . .]

singing to ipid

“Who let the dogs out?  Woof!  Woof-woof-woof-woof!”

Kill Not Confirmed

kill not confirmed

In a season of Teen Wolf that has been positively packed with douchebags, I’d hereby like to nominate This Guy as Douchebag Numero Uno . . .

punch

Murdering complete strangers to become a millionaire is one thing. Murdering your friends and colleagues is quite another . . .

monster ariel

Even Evil!Macauley held off on trying to whack fake friend Liam, until he had already dispatched of most of the more anonymous targets on the list. . .

the new class

But not Officer Hank . . . I mean, this guy is just stone cold . . .

1 19 getting colder

. . . stupid. No wonder he’s at the bottom of the payroll at the Beacon Hills PD . . .

First, before murdering a supernatural creature, it might be wise to . . . I don’t know . . . figure out what kind of creature he is first. This way you can avoid amateur mistakes like . . . TRYING TO BURN TO DEATH THE CREATURE WHOSE SOLE MAGICAL POWER IS THE ABILITY TO RISE FROM THE ASHES . . .

burning

the phoenix

“Bored now . . .”

Also, avoid leaving evidence that can be traced back to you, such as, the gas station attendant who saw you purchase FOUR GALLONS OF GASOLINE, moments before that police car burst into flames in an empty parking lot for no reason whatsoever . . . because no one in a small town being overrun by contract killers is going to notice that . . .

surrounded by idiots

And while we are on the subject . . . twist ties? Really?

twist ties haha

“All this trouble just to remind me to put out my recycling tomorrow morning? It’s a little much, don’t you think?”

Nonetheless, I’m actually really happy that Hank did what he did. After all, if it weren’t for this schmucko, us Teen Wolf fans would never have been blessed with the glory of getting to see this . . .

incomig

Let’s watch that again . . .

phoenix

Now, for the most part, our Deputy Parrish has always been a pretty zen guy. But you could understand why Sheriff Stilinski’s stalwart sidekick is feeling a bit grumpy, after having had to suffer the pain of being burned alive, followed by the humiliation of having to walk back to the office in his now soot-colored birthday suit . . .

not happy want to punch

hate you meet fist

Plus, he’s barefoot, and who knows what kind of fetid crap ends up on those Beacon Hills PD floors?

barefoot

BabyScared

Athlete’s foot is no picnic!

And so, for the first time this season, we get to meet . . . Hulk Parrish!

smash 2

“Parrish . . . smash!”

Mommy like . . . a lot.

I hope you like cold prison showers, Hank!

punch

You can’t handle the truth.

Scott and Lydia immediately bring Parrish to Derek’s and Peter’s apartment, probably because Parrish needs clothes, and what the Hales lack in furniture, they make up for in a lifetime supply of deep v-neck muscle tees in every color imaginable . . .

adorable

Scott hopes Derek can tell them all what kind of creature Parrish might be. (Hint: PHOENIX! HE’S A PHOENIX!)

psychic

Unfortunately, Derek’s knowledge of supernatural creatures is limited to were-stuff . . . like

Werecoyotes . ..

malia nails

Werefoxes . ..

fox head

Werelizards . ..

what is a kan

half kanaima jack

Werejaguars . ..

tumblr_n9q3heOpV01qggrzoo7_250

Werebears . ..

mama bear

And Popples . . . lots and lots of Popples . . .

popple

And so, Deputy Parrish’s moment of supernatural self discovery is going to have to be put on hold for at least another episode . But on the bright side, wintergreen is a really great color on him . . .

psychic

climb that like a tree badela

Speaking of hidden truths, over at the hospital, a doctor, who I am pretty sure was murdered on the show last season (maybe he’s a Phoenix too?), is not so gently reminding Papa Stilinski, who took a bullet during the whole Parrish/Hank fracas, may have to pay some of his medical bills out-of-pocket.

thought he died

“Pretty sure I was murdered last season by a guy with bugs crawling out of his stomach. But papa needs a new button down business shirt, so continuity be damned!”

Stiles is furious with his father for hiding the family’s money troubles from him. “We are supposed to take care of each other,” he pleads with his father.

take care of sad hot stiles

poor

Here’s hoping when this is all over Derek shares some of the Hale $117 million with the poor little pack friends who saved his ass from death more times than he could count . . .

der funny face ha

Spray and Pray

Clearly, the Benefactor has been unimpressed up to this point with the assassins she selected to rid Beacon Hills of its supernatural population. She needs to expand her horizons. She considers creating a Deadpool Fans Facebook page, but realize that this guy already has one . . .

deadpool

She considers tweeting about it, but sadly remembers that “Dead Girls Can’t Tweet.”

2 2 zombies don't text katie-cassidy

And so, she is forced to settle for good-old fashioned printer bombing . . .

der not on

At least, this way, what she can’t deliver in Dead Supes, she makes up for in Murdered Trees . . .

tree fresh

Banshee People Problems . . .

Like Grandmother like daughter. Apparently, Lydia’s grandmother Lorraine, not only was a banshee like Lydia. She also looked like Lydia . . .

look like lyd and al

Was smart like Lydia (for a female to have a job at a place like IBM back then, must have been a HUGE deal) . . .

3 15 too smart seduced summer

Had an athletic best friend who looked like Allison . . . like Lydia . . .

alli

Predicted, but couldn’t prevent that friend’s death . . . like Lydia . . .

scream for al

And apparently, played a part in making Meredith more bonkers than she was originally . . . like Lydia.

not hap

“No more Justin Bieber, pleeeeeassse!”

 

Banshees Don’t Predict Danger . . .

Elsewhere in town, Derek breaks the news to Scott that he’s more-or-less a born again human. It must be tough for people like Derek to go from a supernatural hot guy who occasionally sprouts unattractive hair from his ears, to a garden variety hot guy . . .

derek body

“I wonder if this will impact my sexual performance . . .”

On the positive side, Derek being human means he’s no longer worth as much money dead! YAYYY!

ep 8 stiles excited jeff bernbie

“Let’s go test out that whole sexual prowess theory. What do you say?”

The bad news is that the price on his head got transferred wholesale to Liam . . .

confused liam

“Doesn’t murdering the virgin first violate major movie logic?”

. . .which seems kind of unfair. I mean, how about spreading the wealth, Benefactor? Have you seen Parrish naked? (Clearly you have. I’m starting to think that Banshees get 24-7 live feed access to all murders happening everywhere. It’s like a really morbid version of Big Brother).

handsome thank you

That bod’s got to be worth at least another two mil! Am I right?

5 1 chuck yes

In even worse news, Derek just learned he was the cipher key to open 1/3 of the deadpool. Scott, having an uncharacteristic burst of social awareness, tactfully explains what this might mean for our brooding lone wolf. “You . . . um . . . may be in . . . er . . . danger?”

no idea what im doing

(This is basically like telling someone who is about to have their leg amputated, that the doctor is going to have to make a small incision on their kneecap.)

But Derek has never been one to mince words.   “Screw danger. A banshee thinks I’m going to die = I’m worm food.”

dead derek

The Grandma Code

What was your THING with your grandmother? My grandma was awesome, not going to lie. She took me to the aquarium to see the sea lions (so cute), road roller coasters with me on family vacations, let me stay up late watching TV and eating Tootsie Rolls when she babysat. She rocked.

grans pie

Apparently, Lydia’s thing with her grandma was reading The Little Mermaid . . . the original one, which actually had a really sad ending. (Spoiler alert: The Little Mermaid dies.)

human world mess

But maybe Grandma Martin edited that part out. In fact, I think she probably did, or she wouldn’t be so cool with Lydia calling herself “Ariel” all the time, even though she kind of does look like Ariel. Don’t you think?

ariel as little mermaid

lydia brave tatikatelena

(Slight nitpick . . . Lydia claims she read the Hans Christian Anderson version of the Little Mermaid with her grandmother, not a book adaptation of the Disney film, as Stiles suggested. And yet, actually the name Ariel is exclusively a Disney name. The Hans Christian Andersen book doesn’t bother giving the Little Mermaid a name . . .also coincidentally, it has no Sebastian.

seaweed greener

How on Earth can you have a Little Mermaid without that adorable Jamaican-accented crab? No wonder the story was so depressing!)

Anywhoo, that’s the key to grandma’s cipher code: Ariel . . .

arielkey

More names . . . but no dollar amounts attached to these . . . why? Because they are all banshees, and . . . wait for it. They are all already DEAD!

By suicide, no less . . .

Suicide . . . DON’T DO IT!

Stiles and Lydia pay a visit to our old friend Brunski to get a look at the supposed Banshee Suicide Files. Lydia pays a cool $500 for the privilege. (Did you / do you carry around $500 in your purse in high school? I didn’t. Heck, I don’t carry $500 in my purse now! That’s what credit cards are for!)

money snort

“Smells like early retirement . . . or a date with a hooker . . . probably the hooker.”

$500. That’s a high price to pay for a tazing . . .

tazedelectrifying

Around this time, honorary pack member Parrish figures out that, considering Brunski was the sole witness of all of these supposed suicides, there is a good chance they were less “suicides” and more “murders,” which is super bad news for Stiles, whose name Lydia subconsciously added to her banshee Already Dead Pool just moments earlier . . .

delivered to morgue

Totally Random Dancing

If watching the above-video gave you a headache, congratulations, you’re OLD!

Death by Dubstep.   Well . . . this is new. Back a few seasons ago, only a few select people in Beacon Hills knew that supernatural creatures existed. Now, random cops, security, guards, DJs and other people we’ve never met, are not only aware of, and trying to murder Beacon Hills’ supernatural population, they are also coming up with new and inventive ways to do so that work by culling supernatural creatures out of a crowd . . .

bonfire

See The Chemist . . .

nope drinking tea

And . . . the Really Bad High School Bonfire D.J. . . .

parteee

You know how they have these dog whistles that emit a sound that has such a high pitched frequency that humans can’t detect it, but it drive canines practically bonkers?

scott dog dish

Or that, apparently after you reach around age 20, your ear stops recording high frequency sounds?

Add to this the idea of a dog whistle that can make werewolves intoxicated, and you have the conceit for this week’s Creative Assassin on Teen Wolf . . .

dont dance

Think about how much money you’d save at the bar if it all it took to get drunk was listening to a few minutes of Really Bad Techno?

drinking to get more drink

dance

That would be enough dough to pay for Stiles Eichen House bills AND buy him an entire wardrobe of Sarcastic Phrase t-shirts . . .

drink coffee do good

It doesn’t take long for Scott, Malia and Liam to begin feeling the effects of the crappy Dog Whistle Music. Enter the Security Squad, who decide that the best way to murder unconscious Scott, Malia and Liam is to light them on fire during a very populated bonfire, right in the center of the high school hallway.

done playing

Riiiiight, because lighting supernatural creatures on fire worked so well for their friend Hank . . .

Speaking of Hank . . .

How’s your nose buddy?

punch

Looks like someone got themselves a free nosejob.

Fortunately, Gay Best Friend Mason and New Human Derek become an unlikely duo in this week’s Rescue the Main Characters from Danger Challenge . . .

mighty mouse unplug nap time for suprescue der

Unfortunately, Stiles and Lydia are going to have to wait a bit longer for their Knight and Shining Sexy Pants . . .

Revelations

Hello Brunski, it’s time for Lessons in Villainy 101. When you are trying to murder the witnesses to your crimes through lethal drug injection, (1) it helps not to play a slow five-minute long tape evidencing your guilt in the murder of one of the witness’ grandmothers . . .

douche grun

(2) It helps not to HAVE evidence of your guilt on a mixtape, helpfully labeled with the victim’s name on the front. (Seriously, who supplied the Teen Wolf set with so many mix tapes   . . . 1992?)

gave her a mix tape

focus on my voice

(3) Try to lethally inject your victims outright, rather than babbling on about how and why you’re going to do it, thus giving the hot deputy time to shoot you in the neck . . .

going to be murd

rescue

Silly Dead Brunski. You don’t deserve to be the Big Bad. Clearly you are just a hater of banshees. You aren’t smart enough to orchestrate an entire deadpool.   For that, we would need someone a bit more subtle in their villainy than you . . .

dead brun

Someone awkward . . . someone weird . . . and oddly charming in a freaky sort of way . . . someone who everyone thought was dead, and hence, no one suspected at all . . . someone like . . . .

headphones for mer

MEREDITH WALKER????!!

bad person looking ev

surprised-face

Now, this, I admit, was a genuine shock. Who exactly is Meredith Walker? Why does she hate supernaturals, considering she is one? Why did Brunski say she was controlling him? And is she working with/ or for anyone else?

confused-monkey

So, many questions. And so little time until they are answered. Teen Wolf is set to air in just a few hours, so there’s barely enough to speculate. Only enough time to show you this . . .

and this . . .

Until next time, Werebangers!

more dancing stiles

1 Comment

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One response to “It’s Always the Quiet Ones – A Recap of Teen Wolf’s “Perishable”

  1. Andre

    Loud people are strong and confident, and quiet people are meek and submissive.
    Not really, no. I think America hasn’t really learned from all its presidents to know better.

    Teen Wolf has always been a show that tried to shock its viewers, by flying in the face of these assumptions. But because its viewers are pretty savvy, it has met with limited success in doing so.
    I think its rather because many viewers have more than half a brain cell. Note: Most! I actually did meet people who seemed to have been able to remember more than just one season and thereby thought Deucalion had any special powers, instead of his powers being pretty similar to the ones Peter already showed back in season 1. And good you brought him up.

    And “adorkable” English teacher Jennifer fooled positively no one but Derek into thinking she was anything but a Darach in 50’s housewife clothing . . .
    If you ask me, the whole Dennifer thing was probably just there to have some people be surprised when she did turn out to be the Darach. Not that it worked for most people as it seemed but at least it was not such a low maneuver as the one they had now.

    I can honestly say that Teen Wolf only legitimately shocked me with its choice of big bad twice in its series run, so far. The first was way back in Season 1 . . .

    Coma Guy was the one running around in the Gorilla Suit the whole time?

    I mean, that was pretty friggin brilliant!

    The second time Teen Wolf tricked me . . . this past week, in a twist that, if you think about, largely mirrors the Uncle Peter as Alpha reveal of Season 1 . . .
    And there I totally disagree. Back in season 1 you could say it was well done, but now the twist was only there because it was done in a Shyamalan way: it sucked because it makes no sense.
    You see back in season 1 there was the moving index finger scene that probably most of us thought was Peter trying to communicate with Derek. And to be fair, perhaps it was and they only made it up later (as we all know by now Teen Wolf can sink that low -> see the Braeden – Kate contradiction) but back then you could at least say, yeah that makes sense, since that finger movement could just as well have been a slip in his façade, since sitting so still is actually pretty difficult.
    However this time you cannot say that. Since they showed as Meredith with a rope around her neck, sure I said back then that this sort of hanging would not work in that room but Teen Wolf did equally stupid things so I let it slide, however the main things is that they showed that in a way that clearly indicated that she killed herself. It was not as if the characters stumbled upon her body or so, when it was mentioned that she was dead they cut to her scene and it was not done like a memory scene or something, they did it like the other flashback and past times scenes. So if this is Meredith and not her ghost or twin sister or anything, than this means that they did create that plothole deliberately to full the viewers or they made her the benefactor later and simply didn’t care for that, as they didn’t care for so many others. In both cases that is writer incompetence at its finest. Or did she had a habit of faking her own death for no one in particular? I feel more and more like reading a Cassandra Clare book here.

    And also there are some more things fishy with the whole Meredith being the benefactor, but we will get to that later. First let me show you how you do an actual twist:

    Murdering complete strangers to become a millionaire is one thing. Murdering your friends and colleagues is quite another . . .
    Which really makes you wonder what sort of qualifications you need to be on Beacon Hill’s police force. Just show up on the day of opening? Seriously 5 million is enough to make this guy commit murder via arson?

    First, before murdering a supernatural creature, it might be wise to . . . I don’t know . . . figure out what kind of creature he is first. This way you can avoid amateur mistakes like . . . TRYING TO BURN TO DEATH THE CREATURE WHOSE SOLE MAGICAL POWER IS THE ABILITY TO RISE FROM THE ASHES . . .
    What if that is the catch-phrase here? Rising from the ashes. Just like they made a spirit into a human, what if they did the same with a magical bird?
    What if he is supposed to be:

    Wait, that was this year Eurovision Song Contest winner Conchita Wurst. 😀

    But all jokes aside, it could be possible that he is a phoenix, as you already guessed. That would fit to what Teen Wolf did so far. None of their supes could have been the source for the real world myths. Of course he could be a salamander or dragon, but I think the former is rather unlikely since I doubt Davis & Co know anything more than the more famous examples. Seriously all they had so far had some sort of “celebrity” status. The “Kanaima” was slightly off in that regard, but not by much.

    Also, avoid leaving evidence that can be traced back to you, such as, the gas station attendant who saw you purchase FOUR GALLONS OF GASOLINE, moments before that police car burst into flames in an empty parking lot for no reason whatsoever . . . because no one in a small town being overrun by contract killers is going to notice that . . .
    Well considered that this is Beacon Hills where they just tend to forget or ignore rampaging shadow ninjas I think the later point is no worries of his. However the amount of gasoline… seriously, that amount was huge and applied incredibly wasteful. All that fluid he just… why not inside the car where it actually has something to burn you know? It was all seemingly outside, or at least most of it and considered how much it was you would think it would leave a much bigger spot on the ground and thereby a bigger or broader fire, parking lots tend to be pretty even.
    Of course he was not the only idiot there. When I saw how Perish acted I was:
    Yeah Perish you are such a good policeman, your partner has just sprinkled gasoline all over your car for who knows how long (btw. why not give him drugs or all and if the body is burned how would visual confirmation be possible? Or is that no topic anymore?) and your windows are down so you should be able to smell it so what do you think he would be doing? Of course there would be a lot of scenarios that would start the same and not end up in him burning you alive…. None that I can think of but I am sure there must be some:

    And while we are on the subject . . . twist ties? Really?
    And that is not all:
    Why not shoot him first or poison him and then make the picture and then burn him?
    There is so much stupidity involved here that the writers must have given up now, if they ever tried to begin with.

    Nonetheless, I’m actually really happy that Hank did what he did. After all, if it weren’t for this schmucko, us Teen Wolf fans would never have been blessed with the glory of getting to see this . . .
    I don’t care about that at all. Just one in a long line of Jackson-rip offs so I don’t give a fuck. When I was suddenly there all I was thinking was:
    Oh he is already back… way to kill any possible suspense writers… not that I felt even a slight inch.

    followed by the humiliation of having to walk back to the office in his now soot-colored birthday suit . . .
    And apparently he could walk all the way through town without anyone noticing it.

    Also when the whole “not confirmed” message came on the computer screen I was thinking: If they know anyway, why the visual confirmation to begin with?
    We will get into that later.

    Unfortunately, Derek’s knowledge of supernatural creatures is limited to were-stuff . . . like
    Werecoyotes . ..
    Werefoxes . ..
    Werelizards . ..
    Werejaguars . ..
    Werebears . ..
    And Popples . . . lots and lots of Popples . . .

    Oh my gosh these Popples are hideous beyond imagining… but to be serious, technically Kira is not eve remotely a wereanything since she lacks the power of transformation. However when all the “talk” was going on I was rather:
    If Derek doesn’t know, go to Deaton or call Noshiko you idiots!
    Jeeeesh they do not even consider to ask these two….
    Plus they didn’t copy the Bestiary file back in the days?

    And why would Scott’s red eyes tell him anything? Why not fur up all together?

    Stiles is furious with his father for hiding the family’s money troubles from him. “We are supposed to take care of each other,” he pleads with his father.
    That scene is the reason why Stiles is more popular than Scott and the others. Because he is simply better written, albeit they still dump him down when the plot demands it.

    Here’s hoping when this is all over Derek shares some of the Hale $117 million with the poor little pack friends who saved his ass from death more times than he could count . . .
    Which isn’t saying much considered his incredible stupidity.
    But either way I doubt it will occur to him. I know you Stereks don’t like it, but Derek doesn’t act like he actually cares about any of them unless the plot demands it.

    At least, this way, what she can’t deliver in Dead Supes, she makes up for in Murdered Trees . . .
    At least that way she gets some things killed.
    Also, when these morons talk about how they lose count of the assassins I was:
    “Starting to lose count? You encountered only 5 so far.”
    Also, they already send in the foot soldiers? If the professionals are already this bad… I better not think how shitty the foot soldiers are. And ok, plenty of people get it and they are all willing to murder so easily… are the writers influenced by the stupid Purge movies?
    Also is this list just send around the internet or fax lines now? Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me. Only a moron or someone wanting to get caught would do that.

    PS. Is that normal that at ¼ into the episode they still show the producers?

    Was smart like Lydia (for a female to have a job at a place like IBM back then, must have been a HUGE deal) . . .
    Had an athletic best friend who looked like Allison . . . like Lydia . . .
    Predicted, but couldn’t prevent that friend’s death . . . like Lydia . . .
    And apparently, played a part in making Meredith more bonkers than she was originally . . . like Lydia.

    I guess it’s the old “connection” bullshit again. But I didn’t give a crao.
    I was more:
    When was Meredith atthe lake-house of Lydia’s grandmother (who looks awful young to be her grandma doesn’t she?) since she looks exactly the same age? They couldn’t get some kid to play the part?
    How does Lydia know all this stuff about her grandma?
    And Derek points out the obvious “like a banshee” statement because apparently the writers think the viewers are morons who cannot put 1 and 1 together.
    Why did that little bit of “prophecy” make her grandma do all this? Seems pretty farfetched to me. Also didn’t they claim Lydia’s grandma heard voices?

    The bad news is that the price on his head got transferred wholesale to Liam . . .

    Because nothing is more important now than to claim Jackson 2.0 is important… gosh I wish I could hit Davis’s Jackson horny ass right now.

    In even worse news, Derek just learned he was the cipher key to open 1/3 of the deadpool. Scott, having an uncharacteristic burst of social awareness, tactfully explains what this might mean for our brooding lone wolf. “You . . . um . . . may be in . . . er . . . danger?”

    Please tell me Americans, why is this guy the “protagonist?” Is he so all-American in his stupidity that he represents America now? Seriously, why is this guy on screen, this is the most useless protagonist I ever saw.
    If it weren’t for constant plotholes he would be dead already. In fact were I a writer on this show my biggest obstacle would not getting these idiotic supernaturals get killed.

    Heck they are so dumb they think of neither asking Deaton, Noshiko or even Braeden for infos. How stupid can you be?

    But Derek has never been one to mince words. “Screw danger. A banshee thinks I’m going to die = I’m worm food.”

    And considered Derek’s comment regarding what a banshee predicts:
    Death is usually considered danger, plus so far Lydia actually was mostly a danger detector.

    Also keep in mind his comment.

    Apparently, Lydia’s thing with her grandma was reading The Little Mermaid . . . the original one, which actually had a really sad ending. (Spoiler alert: The Little Mermaid dies.)

    Actually she doesn’t die, you could say she becomes a sort of air elemental.
    However that is not the problem here. The problem is that the writers refer to it but never seem to have read it since:
    The mermaid in the story is not actually referred to as Ariel, never, as you pointed out. She doesn’t have a name, nor do any of the other characters. So if Lydia only read the book, why does she want that name?
    Answer: Because the writers have no idea about what they are talking about, as usual.

    How on Earth can you have a Little Mermaid without that adorable Jamaican-accented crab? No wonder the story was so depressing!)
    Actually depressing is pretty common for Anderson’s stories, thereby I don’t quite get why someone would read the Little Mermaid to little kids, albeit its rather one of the lighter ones of his stories.
    Also how could Lydia’s grandma encrypt her messages to begin with?

    Stiles and Lydia pay a visit to our old friend Brunski to get a look at the supposed Banshee Suicide Files. Lydia pays a cool $500 for the privilege. (Did you / do you carry around $500 in your purse in high school? I didn’t. Heck, I don’t carry $500 in my purse now! That’s what credit cards are for!)

    At least one smart extra in this episode when he talks to Lydia for the money… Lydia is that rich that she has 500 in her purse? Do I really have to spell out the implications of that?

    Around this time, honorary pack member Parrish figures out that, considering Brunski was the sole witness of all of these supposed suicides, there is a good chance they were less “suicides” and more “murders,” which is super bad news for Stiles, whose name Lydia subconsciously added to her banshee Already Dead Pool just moments earlier . . .

    Just a thought, if Eichenhouse had that many “suicides,” they are even worse than I thought both the house and the police. You see, suicide actually leaves some pretty telling marks, which modern forensics can easily detect.

    Ps. So Lydia could just have Meredith’s stuff but not that of others?

    Death by Dubstep. Well . . . this is new. Back a few seasons ago, only a few select people in Beacon Hills knew that supernatural creatures existed. Now, random cops, security, guards, DJs and other people we’ve never met, are not only aware of, and trying to murder Beacon Hills’ supernatural population, they are also coming up with new and inventive ways to do so that work by culling supernatural creatures out of a crowd . . .

    And still pretty unnecessary. Seriously, if they know so much why not just poison them with 1080?

    Also since we are that far already, just some things about Jackson 2.0s idiocy:
    Apparently he was hallucinating at school.
    “Nice” to see that Danny 2.0 is doing the idiotic statistics thing.
    Also apparently Jackson 2.0 didn’t think of telling anyone straight away about the paper
    And that late does he tell Scott, when Scott asks him… wow another idiot
    …Yep, they seriously want to promote Jackson 2.0… because


    Think about how much money you’d save at the bar if it all it took to get drunk was listening to a few minutes of Really Bad Techno?

    Technically this could never work. You can get headaches and all from sounds, but you cannot act intoxicated.
    And speaking of such, apparently both Jackson 2.0 and Malia (Peter must be a mutant since he doesn’t seem to have inherited the typical stupidity of his relatives) are too dumb to guess right away that drinking some random stuff when they nearly died a few days ago, is really fucking dumb.

    Also:
    Healing has nothing to do with the effects of alcohol, not at all
    And oh did the benefactor finally find out that the current junior detective is a threat to him?

    It doesn’t take long for Scott, Malia and Liam to begin feeling the effects of the crappy Dog Whistle Music. Enter the Security Squad, who decide that the best way to murder unconscious Scott, Malia and Liam is to light them on fire during a very populated bonfire, right in the center of the high school hallway.
    Riiiiight, because lighting supernatural creatures on fire worked so well for their friend Hank . . .

    Well there is that problem but also something else:
    The music? That would make no sense, then Scott should have been affected a lot sooner… probably the Alpha stuff again
    Not to mention a lot of animals would need to be affected
    I had hoped it would be something at the flaming men or so that is in the air where it would make some sense that they are affected differently

    Also:
    Great idea Scott, turn off the music, albeit the DJ might be a killer or something, or he works with one and by this you alarm him that you are on to him… yeah really great plan
    And they seriously dragged them into the school? The school? Seriously, the school?
    And is the bonfire that close to the school? Doesn’t seem very smart to me, especially not when you want to burn the others… someone could just come in to make out

    Fortunately, Gay Best Friend Mason and New Human Derek become an unlikely duo in this week’s Rescue the Main Characters from Danger Challenge . . .

    And another bone tossed towards the LGBT crowd. Sorry shitty writers, unless I see stuff like this I will not consider you progressive in any way:

    Ps. What was with the names and logos at 37 minutes into the episode?

    Also, the music needs that long to affect Scott but he is cured instantly?
    And yeah sure, Derek seems to be helpless… seriously his training could not have started more than a few days ago. How can he do this stuff already?

    Hello Brunski, it’s time for Lessons in Villainy 101. When you are trying to murder the witnesses to your crimes through lethal drug injection, (1) it helps not to play a slow five-minute long tape evidencing your guilt in the murder of one of the witness’ grandmothers . . .
    (2) It helps not to HAVE evidence of your guilt on a mixtape, helpfully labeled with the victim’s name on the front. (Seriously, who supplied the Teen Wolf set with so many mix tapes . . . 1992?
    (3) Try to lethally inject your victims outright, rather than babbling on about how and why you’re going to do it, thus giving the hot deputy time to shoot you in the neck . . .
    Silly Dead Brunski. You don’t deserve to be the Big Bad. Clearly you are just a hater of banshees. You aren’t smart enough to orchestrate an entire deadpool. For that, we would need someone a bit more subtle in their villainy than you . . .

    I had never quite believed that he could be the benefactor. Sure it would be typical for Teen Wolf but come on. Not to mention, then why did the message say no confirmation?
    And how did he know about the Hale vault?
    And Lydia and Stiles’ reasoning at least that is something, seriously that reasoning had so many holes it would be something Teen Wolf would do, but we still have 3 episodes to go so the whole thing seemed pretty strange to me.

    That is not the only thing, there are these things:
    Why doesn’t Lydia do the banshee scream?
    Oh Meredith was “murdered” yeah what a shock… as if I would have ever figured that out
    Why does he do this? Why does he think Lydia would know about the thing on the tape? Why not her father or mother.

    Now, this, I admit, was a genuine shock. Who exactly is Meredith Walker? Why does she hate supernaturals, considering she is one? Why did Brunski say she was controlling him? And is she working with/ or for anyone else?

    Here we get to the main problem, apart from the scene with her “dead” mentioned earlier: How does Meredith know all of that? If it’s her powers, then it’s not danger or death sense anymore, that would be full blown precog abilities. Think about it, how would she know where Kate is? How would she know of the Hale vault and the money in it? Why bother with visual confirmation? Wouldn’t her just knowing who is dead or not, not be more effective to keep her assassins in line since they think they might be watched all the time? How did she find them to begin with? This all makes no sense whatsoever.

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