PETER PAN LIVE RECAP: We Watched It ALL, From “I GOTTA CROW” to “OY VEY OH!”

peter pan live

Ahhh, Peter Pan. You remember him from your childhood, right? He’s the perpetual man child known for sneaking into your bedroom window in the middle of the night, making you snort something called “fairy dust” that he insists will make you “fly,” and then whisking you away to a far off land where your parents will NEVER EVER FIND YOU!

ouat season 3 peter pan

Fast forward to the present day. You’re all grown up. You’ve blocked out of your memory that brief period of time when you were part of the child slave trade. Everything is OK, or so you think. Then you turn on your television, and who do you see but that charming sociopath Peter Pan himself, re-imagined as the Pretty Uptight One from Girls . . .

miserable

. . . and Captain Hook as . . . THIS GUY?

im funky

It’s like something out of your wildest fever dream or most cringe-inducing nightmare. You want to look away, but you can’t . . . FOR THREE WHOLE HOURS . . .

As I got myself psyched up to do this live-reaction blog/recap, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the wise words of Allison Williams herself, who said, more of less, “Please for the love of all that is holy, do not hate watch me in Peter Pan.” It’s a valid concern of Allison’s, especially in light of That Thing That Happened Last Year That No One Wants to Talk About. For this reason, I have decided to engage myself in a bit of a Pavlovian Dog Punishment Plan to prevent me, personally, from hate-watching Peter Pan.

To effectuate my plan, I have invited Marnie from Girls over to my house to look over my shoulder as I type and personally insult me every time I make a comment about the show that appears to be even vaguely hate-watchy . . .

marnie bag of dying babies

See? That was for the beginning of this article, where I not so subtly referred to a beloved children’s character as a kidnapper and possible child slave trader. As you can see, Marnie pulls no punches . . .

angry boxing

I think this is going to work out just fine.

Let’s get this Neverland party started, shall we?

You can check out the rest of this snarktastic recap here.

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