Tag Archives: 1864

A Poison Kind of Love – Ten Deliciously Naughty Moments, Starring The Vampire Diaries’ Katherine Petrova

Source: Petrova GIFS, original home of ALL the lovely screencaps you see here, unless otherwise noted. 

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably know that I have an almost unhealthy obsession withThe CW’s The Vampire Diaries.  And that obsession leads me to dedicate an awful lot of computer space to analyzing the richly complex, and ever evolving, characters on that show.

“Good lord!  That’s a lot of Shirtless Damon pictures!”

For the most part, I’d like to think that I have a pretty good handle on most of the main characters of the show, in terms of their various motivations, fears, and insecurities . . . what makes them tick . . . and what turns them on . . .

This turns ME on . . .

So does this . . . 

However, there is one character that has always been a bit of an enigma to me.  Vampire Katherine Pearce, a.k.a. Katerina Petrova, a.k.a the Petrova Doppelganger #2, a.k.a. The Kat, a.k.a “You’re not Elena,” is a walking contradiction, in skinny jeans and stiletto heels . . .


She is charming, yet coldly calculating . . .

 . . . ladylike, yet monstrous . . .

 . . . loves others fiercely,  yet is incredibly selfish . . .

 . . . desires constant companionship, yet trusts no one . . .

. . . seems vulnerable, but is remarkably strong . . .

 . . . comes off as vapid and shallow, but is actually incredibly logical and intelligent . . .

 . . . is willing to help Elena defeat her enemies, but also might want her dead . . .

 . . . claims to adore both Salvatore Brothers, yet takes great pleasure in causing them pain.

For these reasons (and because my friends, Serendipity, natalie robertson, and Brittany-Marie suggested it), I have decided to dedicate this post to Vampire Katherine, in hopes of coming a bit closer to understanding this enigmatic character.  What follows are my Top Ten Favorite Vampire Katherine Moments from the first two Seasons of The Vampire Diairies.  After sharing each scene with you, I will take a few moments to tell you why that particular scene made the list, and analyze what I THINK that scene says about Katherine, as a character.  Sound good?


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I love you too, Katherine.  Now, let’s get started . . .

(By the way, regarding the videos, though I have provided links to all of them for you to enjoy, unfortunately, the CW won’t let me directly embed them in this post.  Those BASTARDS!  But if you want to watch them, all you have to do, is double click on the internal link that comes up in the center of the YouTube screen, after you press “Play.”  Now, that’s not so bad, is it?)

10. Katherine (posing as Elena) tosses Stefan in the bushes.

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Episode: “Know Thy Enemy” – 2.17

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE: “Nice dress.  Mind if I borrow it?”

KATHERINE: (to Damon, on the phone) “You’ve got some serious explaining to do to the [Anti-Vampire] Council about John being not-so-dead.”

KATHERINE: “Where the hell is she [Elena]?”

KATHERINE: “Sorry Stef, but I can’t have you following me.”

Why it Made the List:

OK.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love my Steffy.  But as a staunch Delena fan, I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a teensy thrill watching “Elena” call Damon on the phone, and then proceed to toss Stefan in the bushes.

By now, we’ve experienced a few moments in this series, in which Katherine has come face-to-face with her doppelganger, while attempting to impersonate her.  However, the jarring effect it has on me, whenever I see it on screen, still hasn’t worn off.

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This scene showcases Katherine at her naughtiest.  In under 2 minutes, we see her successfully: knock out Elena and possibly steal her clothing (though from the looks of it, Katherine is already wearing a purple dress, by the time she arrives), impersonate Elena with both brothers (though with Damon, only by phone), stab Stefan with vervain, toss him the bushes, and drive off in his car, all without messing up her hair or makeup!  Now, that’s impressive!

Though, admittedly, not quite as impressive, as pulling out two hearts at once . . . ELIJAH!

What it says about Katherine: 

At first glance, you might thing this scene actually says very little about Katherine, apart from the fact that she can, pretty much, NEVER EVER be trusted.  I mean, one minute she’s telling the Salvatore Brother’s she’s on their team, the next she’s vervaining them, and throwing them in bushes . . .

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She is also “Elena” for much of the scene.  And yet, I was able to mine quite a bit from this short fun scene.  First, it shows us a very nice contrast between Elena and Katherine.  Here is Elena speaking eloquently and humbly on her deceased mother’s behalf at a charity auction, and here is Katherine wreaking havoc on the lives of many, and enjoying it.

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Katherine’s competitive Mean Girl spirit comes out to play full force, when she gleefully, faux politely, comments on Elena’s outfit, before  strangling her, and ripping it off.  (We’ll see Katherine’s “fashion sense” come into play in another scene I have posted for you, further up on the list.)

Something tells me if Vampire Katherine went to high school with Regina George . . . she would have eaten her.

Then we see Katherine TRYING to impersonate Elena, but she doesn’t quite pull it off.  For starters, she’s wearing more eye makeup than Elena would ever wear.  She’s also a little funnier and snarkier than Elena is, with her comment on the phone to Damon about John being “not-so-much” dead.

And I actually think it is THIS comment that finally gives Katherine away to Stefan.  Not just because it’s funny (though that would have clued ME in).

Don’t worry, Elena.   I’m sure Damon will teach you how to make jokes, one day . . . among other things. 😉

But because that’s just NOT the way Elena thinks.  Elena would see a man fall down the steps (even a man she’s sort of / kind of hates like Uncle Father / John), and wonder if he’s in pain, or needs to be taken to a hospital, or something.  It doesn’t matter that she KNOWS he wears Ring of Immortality.  This would still be her first instinct, as a caring human being.  She WOULDN’T be thinking about what impact it would have on the Anti-Vampire Council, when they see him miraculously come back to life.

“Dammit!  I should have known better!” 

We also see a glimpse, even amidst all her scheming, of Katherine’s genuine affection for Stefan.  One could argue her “apology” to Stefan was just more faux polite meanness on Katherine’s part.  But I actually saw some regret there, as she drove away in her car.  After all, this WASN’T her plan, it was Isabel’s (who, under compulsion, ended up screwing her over in a BIG way, by turning her over to Klaus)

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“You made me THROW HIM IN A BUSH!  You are seriously messing with my game, b*tch!”

And had it been her plan, she might have done things a bit differently.  Plus, she called Stefan, “Stef,” which is seriously adorable . . .

9. Katherine bites (and compels) Stefan, for the first time.

Episode: “Lost Girls” – 1.06

Potent quotables:

ELENA:  “So, he [Damon] stole her from you, not the other way around?”

STEFAN: “Turns out, she wasn’t ours to steal.”

In flashback . . .

STEFAN: “I will love you forever.”

KATHERINE: “Forever is a very long time, you know.”

STEFAN: “Not long enough.”

And the next day . .  .

STEFAN: “Your face . . . it was like a demon.”

KATHERINE: “But you’re not afraid.”

STEFAN: “Get away from me.”

KATHERINE: “It doesn’t change the way you feel about me.  You will not tell anyone.  We will go on exactly as we have.”

STEFAN: (under compulsion) “Yes, we will go on.”

KATHERINE: “You have no idea of the future I have planned for us Stefan . . . you, me, and Damon.  No rules.”

Why it Made the List:

Even though Katherine and Elena are played by the same actress, Katherine’s sexual chemistry with Stefan REALLY IS much hotter  different than his chemistry with Elena.  This was a gorgeous sex scene, straight out of a Harlequin Romance Novel!

And yet, as gorgeous, and perfect as it was, there was something raw, and animalstic about Stefan’s and Katherine’s obvious need for one another, that was incredibly erotic.

I also liked how they didn’t romanticize Baby’s First Vampire Neck Bite.  As sensual as the sex scene that proceeded it was, Katherine’s vamping out, and chomping down on Stefan’s neck, was horrifying, and extremely UGLY.

Plus, you know me.  I love a good compulsion scene.  And this one was as good as they come!

What it says about Katherine:

Before I discuss what these scene says about Katherine, please allow me to take a moment to tell you what it says about Stefan.  He’s a BIG FAT LIAR!

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It’s pretty obvious from this scene that we just witnessed the FIRST time that Katherine bit / compelled Stefan.  And he told her he loved her BEFORE all that happened, not after.  Plus, if you listen to the words of Katherine’s compulsion, she DID NOT, I repeat, DID NOT, tell Stefan he was in love with her, but rather that her being a vampire wouldn’t change the way he already felt about her.

“I’m really sorry I told you that your face looked like a demon, earlier.  Please don’t let that prevent you from continuing to have sex with me.” 

We can contrast this to Damon’s compulsion of Andie the following season, in which he DID explicitly compel Andie to fall in love with him.  Not that he needed to do so.  I mean, this IS Damon we are talking about here.

OK.  Back to Katherine.  Once again, I really think we are seeing the Big Bad Kat exhibit some raw and real affection for the younger Salvatore Brother here.  When Stefan first tells Katherine he loves her, she looks surprised and a bit taken aback.

There’s a part of her that seems to WONDER whether Stefan would still love her, if he knew WHAT she was.  But then he starts kissing her neck, and she gets so caught up in the throes of passion, that she loses all rational thought.  The camera focuses on her face, so we can see that happen to her.  And there’s nothing cold or calculating about it.

In fact, I THINK it’s her passion, as opposed to any rational decision on Katherine’s part, that causes her to vamp out and bite Stefan, in the first place.  We’ve seen Stefan react similiarly the first time things got hot and heavy between him and Elena.

And when the morning comes, Katherine DOESN’T compel Stefan right away, though she could.  She wants to assess his true feelings for her, first.  Her line, “But you’re not afraid,” is clearly NOT one of compulsion, since Stefan is obviously still VERY MUCH afraid of her, after she says it.

And it’s not until she KNOWS for sure, that Stefan WON’T be able to love her as she is naturally, that she compels away his fear.  This is also the moment she chooses to reveal her threesome fantasy to him.

Sure, it’s selfish and a bit misguided for Katherine to believe that she could have two brothers in love with her for all eternity, and NOT have them hate one another because of it.  It’s also an oddly childish way for a 500-year old to think.  All feelings of love and passion aside, at her core, Katherine is a spoiled brat.  And she will probably always be one . . .

8. Katherine dances seductively with Stefan  / murders Slutty Girl #1 at the Masquerade Ball.

Episode: “Masquerade” – 2.07

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE: “Dance with me.”

STEFAN: “No.”

KATHERINE: “Fine, than tell me who I should kill.  Him?  Mmm.  She looks delicious.”

KATHERINE: (about Jenna) “Lucky girl . . . clumsy . . . how does one, stab one’s self?”

KATHERINE: (after being told Stefan won’t give her the moonstone) “I’ve got a better plan.  How about you fetch it, and I will try not to kill anyone in the meantime.”

KATHERINE: “I love your necklace. Oh, it’s twisted . . . here.  (breaks Amy’s spinal cord) Paralyzed from the waist down . . . and dead.  The moonstone, Stefan.  Tick, tock.”

Why it Made the List:

Remember when I told you, we’d get to see Katherine have a second Mean Girls moment in this post.  Well, here it is!  Poor Amy Slutty Girl #1.  She never did get the knot out of that necklace of hers . . .

And we thought Katherine was bad news, when she was just tossing people into bushes, controlling their minds, and eating their necks.  Killing random extras in front of hundreds of party guests, just reaches a whole new level of mean!  What was great about this scene was how TOTALLY unexpected it was.

Here I was enjoying the witty mean-spirited banter and sexy dancing of Stefan and Katherine, when, BAM, someone gets their spinal cord ripped out.  I literally gasped out loud, when it happened.  I also kind of found the scene funny, in a sick, twisted way.  Does that make me a bad person?

What it says about Katherine:

Damon once told Katherine that he’s better than her at the enigmatic one-liners.  That’s probably true.  Because no one beats Damon when it comes to engimatic one-liners.

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OK . . . maybe that line was more literal, than enigmatic.  But you know what I mean.

But Katherine definitely gives Damon a run for his money in the “Isn’t murder hilarious?” quip department.  This vampire has a comeback for everything.  And, if you are speaking to her (and she hasn’t killed you yet) chances are she will lodge her zinger at you, before you’ve even formed your snarky comment.  You can just imagine how helpful having this kind of skill could be in your day-to-day life.

“Yes, I’m bad ass.  And I know it.  That’s why I wiggle my tushy when I walk.” 

Two things struck me about Katherine in this episode.  The first is how smart and oddly nerdy she is.  And I’m not just saying that, because Katherine seems to have a medical school knowledge of the paralyzing effect spinal cord-ripping has on the human body.  Unlike Damon, Katherine isn’t exactly a fly by the seat of her pants, kind of girl.  She’s a BIG planner . . . someone who painstakingly maps out her moves about 18 steps in advance.  And this almost compulsive need to manipulate and control everything and everybody in her orbit, made Katherine’s downfall at the end of the hour, all the more shocking and satisfying.

The second thing I noticed about Katherine is how MUCH fun she has being naughty.  Up until that Moonstone made her choke, Katherine was having a GREAT time during this episode.  She LOVED flirting and dancing with Stefan.

She LOVED compelling Matt to kill Tyler.  She loved taunting her boys inside the Lockwood mansion.  And I think, a part of her even loved being STABBED, because she knew it was hurting Elena.

In many ways, Katherine is the ultimate feminist.  She is comfortable in her skin, and confident in her sexuality.  And with one important exception (Klaus), she NEVER allows men to control her.  Unlike Damon and Stefan, who have both shown a certain tendency toward self-loathing, Katherine is someone who LOVES herself  and her eternal existence unconditionally, evil warts and all.

7. Katherine gets drunk on tequila and rocks out in Alaric’s apartment.

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Episode – “Klaus” – 2.19

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE: (to AlarKlaus)  “Wanna drink?  Come on!  It might loosen you up!”

Why it Made the List:

Man, this scene was fun to watch!  Up until this point, we’ve only seen Katherine be either scheming and calculating, or victimized, as she had been by Klaus, pretty much, up until this point in the episode.  So, it was fun to see our girl Kat be a little uncharacteristically goofy here . . . getting wasted, and unself-consciously dancing with a lamp!  (And she’s a pretty good dancer too!  Almost as good as . . . well . .  . you know . . .)

I also loved the part when AlarKlaus arrived home, and Katherine had to pretend to be sober, so that Klaus wouldn’t know how happy she was about Damon having secretly slipped her some vervain, so that the Original Vamp could no longer mind-control her into obedience.

“Uh oh!  Dad’s home.  Hide the booze!”

“I’m not feeling so good.  I hope I don’t puke on Alaric’s couch.”

Anyone who’s ever had to fake sober for the parental units, after a fun night of underaged drinking can relate to Katherine in this scene.  And, on top of that, she’s gotta pretend to be compelled, or he’ll TORTURE her.  That’s a lot of complicating thinking to do, after you’ve downed half a bottle of tequila and, quite possibly,  copulated with a light fixture!

What it says about Katherine:

I mentioned after the last scene that Katherine loves herself unconditionally.  But she also loves LIFE (even though, technically, she’s not alive anymore . . . at least, not in the traditional sense).  I mean, here is a girl who is TRAPPED by the same guy who she’s been running from for 500 years.  And though she’s now free from his mind control, she STILL CAN’T LEAVE!  And she STILL has to pretend to be compelled by him, and submit to his torture.

That’s enough to put ANYBODY in a bad mood.  But not Katherine!  It just makes her want to DANCE!

6. Katherine flirts  with and antagonizes BOTH brothers / tells Stefan she’s been stalking him for the past century.

Episode: “Masquerade” – 2.07

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE: “The three of us together.  Just like old times, the brother who loved me too much, and the one who didn’t love me enough.”

DAMON: “And the evil slut vampire, who only loved herself.”

KATHERINE: “What happened to you, Damon?  You used to be so sweet and polite.”

DAMON: “Oh that Damon died a LONG time ago!”

KATHERINE: “Good.  He was a bore.”

KATHERINE: “Does Elena enjoy having both of you worship at her altar?”

KATHERINE: “Everything I feel, Elena feels.  So, go ahead.  Or better yet, kiss me Damon.  She’ll feel that too!”

KATHERINE: “We could play charades!”

KATHERINE: (to Damon) “Have I mentioned how inconvenient your little obsession with me has been.”

DAMON: “You and me, both.”

KATHERINE: “In 1987, you were in Chicago, at a concert of all places, with that wench, Lexie.  Come on, Stefan, don’t look so surprised.  Of course, I checked in on you over the years.  You were standing in the front row dancing all night.  You were watching Bon Jovi, and I was
watching you
.”

Why it Made the List:

Man, the back and forth between Katherine and Damon was EPIC in this season!  When it comes to barbs, that really hit where it hurts, these two are actually pretty evenly matched.  (Hence the INSANELY long “Potent Quotables” section for this scene, above.)  In the season finale, Damon told Elena that, had she met him in 1864, she would have really liked him.  You have to wonder if Katherine had first met this “mean, impolite” Damon in present day, whether she would have developed stronger feelings for HIM!

Speaking of Elena, my only complaint about this scene is that Damon DIDN’T take Katherine’s advice and kiss her, so that Elena would feel it.  I just would have LOVED to see the expression on her face, when she suddenly experienced the BEST KISS OF HER LIFE, without even opening her mouth.

As a psychology minor, I also really loved the dynamics between these three individuals that was on display here.  How Damon was all bitter, and snarky, because Katherine had rejected him for Stefan.  How Stefan was all business, trying to goad Katherine into giving up information about her plans.  And how Katherine was annoyed by the lack of affect her sexuality was seeming to have on Stefan, and kept trying her hardest to get under his skin.

And of course, Katherine’s surprise take down by her supposed ally, Witch Lucy, was darn pretty amazing too! 😉

What it says about Katherine:

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“Locked alone” in a room with her two ex-lovers, with nothing to do but “talk,” Katherine gradually lets her defenses down, and begins to reveal parts of her true self, that she might not want her lust objects / nemeses to see.  Though on the surface, Katherine’s just toying with the boys, and continuing to play her game, certain vulnerabilities begin to shine through.  We see her jealousy, at the fact that Elena may very well have replaced Katherine in BOTH the brother’s hearts, as the main object of their affection.

We see Katherine’s frustration at the fact that Stefan doesn’t seem to be responding to her advances the way he used to, and continues to ask her questions that she doesn’t want to answer.

We see Katherine’s vulnerability when, unwilling to admit to Stefan that she faked her own death, because she’s been running from Klaus and Elijah for 500 years, the Petrova Doppelganger ramps her flirt quotient up to about 50, when she launches into a kind of romantic, but also oddly creepy, description of how she’s been STALKING Stefan since 1864.

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Oh, and by the way, I can’t really picture Stefan dancing to Bon Jovi.  Can you?

5. Katherine rescues Damon, and tells Elena it’s OK to “love them both.”

Episode: “As I Lay Dying” – 2.22

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE:  “Well, it’s me you should be thanking.  I mean . . . I’m the one who brought the cure.”

KATHERINE: (to Elena) “I thought you were dead.”

ELENA: “I was.”

DAMON: (to Katherine) “You got free.”

KATHERINE: “Yep . . . finally.”

DAMON: “And you still came here.”

KATHERINE: “I owed you one.”

ELENA: “Where’s Stefan?”

KATHERINE: “Are you sure you care?”

KATHERINE: “He’s paying for this.  He gave himself over to Klaus.   I wouldn’t expect him anytime soon . . . He just sacrificed everything to save his brother . . . including you.  It’s a good thing you have Damon to keep you company.  Oh, it’s OK to love them both.  I did!”

Why it Made the List:

What it says about Katherine:

For someone who claims to have always ONLY loved Stefan, Katherine REALLY went out of her way to save Damon’s life, when she just as easily could have saved herself, and left him to rot.  Sure, according to Katherine, she’s only doing this because she OWES Damon, for giving her the vervain, back when she was trapped at Klaus’.  But WE all know, that Katherine isn’t exactly a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back,” kind of girl.”  And Damon knows it too.

And for someone who is typically SO selfish, it was really refreshing to see Katherine acting so protective and maternal to Damon, while she was feeding him the cure.  Watching her lovingly cup Damon’s face, you can see the sort of elusive softness about her, that drove Damon WILD for so many centuries.

Katherine’s always been jealous of Elena, and the boys’ newfound affection for HER . . . an affection that she feels she has claim too.  But she also sees herself in Elena, and, I think, in her way, is trying to give her a little sage advice from an elder who’s been there.  Katherine wants Elena to admit her love for Damon, and stop holding herself out as the holier than thou human she still thinks she is.  The question that remains, of course, is whether Elena will take Katherine’s “advice” next season, and submit to her desires . . .

4. Katherine tells Stefan she came back for him.

Episode: “The Return” – 2.01

Potent quotables:

STEFAN: “You haven’t changed at all, have you?”

KATHERINE: “But you have.  You’re stronger . . . meaner . . . sexy.”

STEFAN: “Don’t flirt with me Katherine.  I’m not Damon.  I haven’t spent 145 years obsessed with you.”

KATHERINE: “Based on your choice of women, I’d say otherwise . . . though, I’ll admit, it does bother me that you’ve fallen in love with someone else.”

STEFAN: “I was never in love with you, Katherine.  You compelled me.   None of my feelings were real.”

KATHERINE: “Believe what you want, Stefan.  But I know the truth.   And, deep down, so do you.”

STEFAN: “Well the truth is that you are the same lying, selfish, manipulative b*tch that you have always been.  So, whatever it is that brought you here, let’s just get on with it and leave town.  Because, if you don’t, I will hunt you down, and I will rip your heart out.

KATHERINE: “You want to know why I’m here, Stefan.  I came back for you.”

STEFAN: “Well, the problem Katherine, is that I HATE YOU.”

KATHERINE: (stabs Stefan with a candlestick) “You hate me, huh?  That sounds like the beginning of a love story, not the end of one.”

Why it Made the List:

This was really the first time in the series that us fans were treated to the off-the-charts chemistry that Stefan and Katherine STILL have, in the present day, despite having been apart for 145-years.  Every word, look and touch, oozes sexuality, and unresolved feelings of angry sexual frustration.

Stefan is different around Katherine than he is around anyone else.  He’s meaner, tougher, and more inclined toward harsh words sexual innuendo.  A darkness emerges from him, that we otherwise never see, at least not while he’s on the wagon.  Katherine sees it.  And she knows that when he says he never loved her, he doth protest WAY too much.

If Stefan REALLY didn’t love Katherine, he wouldn’t get so hot and bothered every time he was around her.  She wouldn’t be able to bring out the worst in him (or the best, depending on how you view things .  . . I’m of course, in the latter camp.)

Katherine is different when she’s around Stefan too.  But we’ll get to that in the next section . . . 😉

What it says about Katherine:

Have you ever crushed on a guy so hard that you found that you couldn’t be yourself around him?  You might be a real big talker, but when you get around him, you clam up.  You might be soft spoken, but when you get around him you find yourself talking obnoxiously loud, for no reason, whatsoever.  You might consider yourself a strong, and self-assured woman, but come to inches from him, and suddenly you’re a giggly little girl.

Though some of it might be purposeful on her part, I think that last example describes Katherine in this scene.  For a kickass vampire who eats people like it’s her job, Katherine is surprisingly kittenish and vulnerable around Stefan.  She laughs, giggles, and twirls her hair, which is something you don’t see when she’s around Damon.

When she sees that her flirtation is not having the desired impact, she gets very upset.  Though Katherine tried to brush off Stefan’s claims that he never loved her, you could tell that it deeply affected Katherine.  She immediately got pouty, and their might have even been a little tear peaking through her heavily mascara-ed eyelid.  And then when Stefan says he hates her, she loses all her cool, stabs him, and rushes off like a petulant child.  It’s kind of cute, in a weird way . . .

The fact that Katherine ultimately ended up having lied about her true reason for returning to Mystic Falls does nothing to belittle the obvious affect Stefan’s presence has on her in this scene.

3. Katherine has Dream Tomb Sex with Stefan.

Episode: “By the Light of the Moon” – 2.11

Potent quotables:

STEFAN:  “The pleasure I get watching you suffer, is greater than any pain I will ever feel.”

KATHERINE: “It’s stuffy.  I’ve been in this dress for days.  Wanna help me get out of it?”

And later . . .

KATHERINE:  “Come on, Stefan.  Don’t be such a grump.  We’re here together.  We may as well make the best out of it.  Do you really think Damon is going to rush to get you out?  He’s got what he wants.  Elena . . . Hey . . . given what’s most certainly going on out there, I’d say you’re free to do whatever you want in here.   Nobody will EVER know .  . .”

STEFAN:  (growls) “Stay out of my head.”

KATHERINE: “Maybe I can do eternity in here, after all!”

Why it Made the List:

Aside from this scene being a TOTAL tease, because the CW trailer made it look like these two were going to have real, honest-to-goodness FULL ON SEX, it was still pretty awesome.  Because, remember, a vampire can affect what you SEE in a dream, but it can’t really affect how you behave in it.  There was a part of Stefan that couldn’t resist Katherine, and that part made this scene SUPER HOT!

Plus, let’s face it. It was REALLY funny, seeing Stefan shoot up from his “bed” at the end of the scene, all freaked out, and trying to hide his Very Happy Man Part. 😉

What it says about Katherine:

Honestly?  Not much.  After all, this was Stefan’s dream, and Katherine’s manipulation of it.  She had all the control, and held all the cards.  This was Katherine at her very best and most powerful.  She was embracing her sexuality, and using it as a weapon of the most dangerous kind . . . a weapon of the HEART.  It’s nothing we haven’t seen before from her, personality-wise . . .

But you know what DOES say something about Katherine?  THIS deleted scene . . .

For the record, just because the producers of TVD decided to delete this scene DOESN’T mean I will ever stop considering it canon.  And because it takes place in Katherine’s dream, and because her defenses are completely down while she is in it, we get to see Katherine at her most raw and truthful.  Stefan COULD NOT have made up those lines that Katherine said in that dream.  They came directly from her heart.

Here we see Katherine admit that not only has Katherine been STALKING Stefan over the years, she has also never stopped loving him, much as Damon never stopped loving her.  I mentioned in my preview of this post that Katherine loves fiercely, and we can see it here.  Through all the stakings, stranglings, tricks and tomb-trappings . . . despite all the evidence that Stefan’s heart may very well belong to another, Katherine still harbors hope in her heart that Stefan will one day return her love again.

She claims she’s willing to change to get that love back.  And she’s willing to wait for it FOREVER.  And as we know, according to Katherine, forever is a VERY LONG TIME . . .

2.  Katherine has almost-sex with Damon, before breaking his heart . . . AGAIN.

Episode: “The Return” – 2.01

Potent quotables:

KATHERINE: “What, no goodbye kiss?”

DAMON: “Why don’t I kill you instead?  What are you doing here?”

KATHERINE: “Nostalgia, curiosity, etc.”

DAMON: “I’m better at the enigmatic one-liners Katherine, what are you up to?”

KATHERINE: “Trust me, Damon.  When I’m up to something, you’ll know it.  Come on . . . kiss me, or kill  me . . . We both know that you are only
capable of one . . . (after pushing him to the floor, and straddling him) . . . My sweet, innocent, Damon.”

DAMON: “Wait  . . . brief pause . . . I have a question.  Answer it and it’s back to fireworks, and rockets red glare.  Answer it right . . . I’ll forget the last 145 years I’ve spent missing you.  I’ll forget how much I loved you.  I’ll forget everything, and we can start all over.  This can be our defining moment . . . We have time.  That’s the beauty of eternity.  I just need the truth.  Just once.

KATHERINE: “Just stop . . . I already know your question, and it’s answer.  The truth is, I’ve never loved you.  It was always Stefan.”

Why it Made the List:

As the hardcore Damon (and Delena) lover that I am, I should really HATE this scene.  I should hate Katherine for doing this to Damon, knowing, full well, how much it hurts him, what it causes him to do (the Jeremy Neck Snap Incident), and the impact that it has on his relationship with Elena for the ENTIRE first third of the second season.

But still, I can’t help but LOVE this scene.  For one thing, it’s one of the sexiest sex scenes we have on TVD.  It’s hard, angry and edgy . . . which, is just how I like my sex scenes.  (I’m not quite sure what that says about ME!)

And, of course, the acting on both Nina’s and Ian’s part was absolutely flawless here.

In the deleted scene we saw Katherine say that she would be willing to wait forever for Stefan to love her again.  Here, we see that Damon is just as patient, and just as hopeless of a romantic as Katherine is.  (A much more JADED soul than I would say he’s just as pathetic.)  We know the havoc Katherine has wreaked on Damon’s heart for the last 145 years.  And we recall the grudge he held against Stefan for wrongs HE committed that long ago.  So, it’s surprising, and a bit heartening, to see Damon, desperately beg Katherine to, just once, say that she loved him, even if it’s a lie, so that he can go right back to loving her again, like nothing ever happened.

I was also surprised to see Damon STOP SEX to ask Katherine about her feelings for him, knowing that doing so would inevitably spoil the mood.  This is undoubtedly a different Damon than the one we saw boning nameless sorority chicks, compelling Caroline to be his meal / love slave, and breaking Vicki’s neck on a whim.  This Damon is a lovesick puppy dog.  And, suddenly, it’s 1864 all over again . . .

When Katherine breaks Damon’s heart yet again, by telling him that she never loved him, our heart breaks too, in a very big way.  Never before has Damon Salvatore been so vulnerable, and so sympathetic.  So, it’s a real shame  that he had to go and break Jeremy neck after that, thereby destroying all that good will he had engendered in us, as fans.  (Don’t worry, Damon.  I still love you, you Big Ole Psychopath!)

What it says about Katherine:

I’ve actually given this one a lot of thought.  And I’m still not 100% sure I’ve come to a definite conclusion.  I kept wondering WHY Katherine couldn’t just tell Damon she loved him.  After all, that was always her big plan, wasn’t it?  To keep Damon and Stefan by her side, forever.  By telling Damon that she loved him, she would, at least, be guaranteed ONE of the two.

And it’s not as though Katherine DOESN’T love Damon.  She DOES, though probably not as much as she loves Stefan.  We’ve seen it in her decision to turn him, back in 1864, and her decision to rescue him, in present day.  And we KNOW she loves HAVING SEX with him.

So, why not just tell Damon what he wants to hear?

Has Kat somehow developed a morality bone we don’t know about?  Does she feel GUILTY about sleeping with Damon, and letting him think she loves him THE MOST, when she loves Stefan more?  (I mean, he was just going to ask, if she EVER loved him, not if she ONLY loves him.  So, what’s the big deal?)  Was Katherine, perhaps, so overwhelmed by Damon’s outpouring of emotion that she couldn’t, in good conscience, sleep with him, knowing how much more it would mean to him than her?  Did she do it, to somehow garner Stefan’s affections?

Or was there a darker reason for Katherine’s actions?  Did she somehow know that doing this would send Damon over the edge, and take a measure of sick pleasure in causing him pain?  I’m inclined to think one of the former, less evil, explanations is more likely.  But I’m not sure.  What do YOU think?

1. Katherine (posing as Elena) kisses Damon, chops off Uncle/Father John’s fingers, and (seemingly) kills him.

Episode: “Founder’s Day” – 1.22

Potent quotables:

FAUXLENA: “What are you doing here?”

DAMON: “A failed and feeble attempt at doing the right thing.

DAMON: “You know, I came to this town, wanting to destroy it, and tonight, I found myself wanting to protect it.  How does that happen?  I’m not a hero, Elena.  I don’t do good.  It’s not in me.

FAUXLENA: “Maybe it is.”

DAMON: “No, that’s reserved for my brother . . . and you . . . and Bonnie.  Even though she has every reason to hate me, she still helped Stefan to
save me.

FAUXLENA: “Why do you sound so surprised?”

DAMON: “Because she did it for you, which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving.  And I wanted to thank you for that.”

And later . . .

UNCLE / FATHER JOHN: (after his fingers are cut off) “Katherine?”

KATHERINE: “Hello John . . . Goodbye, John.”

Why it Made the List:

Oh my lord, was this the most SHOCKING TWIST EVER, on a television show.  Here, us Delena fans were waiting for an ENTIRE season for Damon and Elena to kiss.  So, this scene comes, near the end of the finale.  And we get this brilliant heartfelt speech by Damon (so, heartfelt, in fact, that this made my Top Ten Delena Moments of Season 1 list, despite the fact that ELENA WASN’T EVEN IN THE SCENE.)

Then it ACTUALLY HAPPENS!  THEY KISS!  And it starts off tentative, with a chaste kiss on the cheek.  But then, suddenly, “Elena” gives in to her desires, and it isn’t so tenative, anymore.  It’s AWESOME and REAL.  Except . . . it isn’t  . . . not really, anyway.

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Because, suddenly, “Elena” is vamping out at the kitchen counter, chopping off UNCLE / FATHER JOHN’S FINGERS, and trying to KILL HIM!  I mean, HOLY CRAP!

 

And as disappointed as I was, that I was going to have to wait an ENTIRE EXTRA SEASON for Damon and Elena to ACTUALLY kiss ( it didn’t happen until the Season 2 finale), the final moments of “Founder’s Day” were still an exhilarating wild ride. And I loved every second of it . . . (Well . . . except for the part where Useless Aunt Jenna cock blocked Fauxlena and Damon. That SUCKED!

If looks could kill, Useless Aunt Jenna, you would have died an
ENTIRE season earlier than you actually did, from the collective glares of
Delena fans, during this very moment.

What it says about Katherine:

What’s interesting about this scene is that, the first time you watch it, you assume it’s Elena.  And you are so caught up in the drama of her heart-to-heart with Damon, and her subsequent one with Uncle / Father John, that you don’t notice how ODD she is acting.  Watching the scene a second time, really allows you to capture the brilliance of the show’s writing, of Nina Dobrev’s acting, and, most importantly (for our purposes anyway), of VAMPIRE KATHERINE.

Katherine’s been out of the loop for a VERY LONG TIME.  And when she arrives on Elena Gilbert’s porch, after having stolen her clothing and personal belongings  (She didn’t think to straighten her hair, though.  A surefire sign of Katherine, if there ever was one.), she has very little idea of what she’s getting herself into.

Suddenly, there’s Damon on the porch, “sweet innocent, Damon” as she once called him.  He’s babbling on about not being a hero, and not being a good person, but wanting to save the town, anyway.  And Katherine’s clearly confused by how much THIS Damon has changed.  After all, we know she’s checked in on Stefan over the years.  But we can’t be too sure, whether she has done the same with Damon.  It’s very possible that she hasn’t.  She’s also noticing that Damon seems EXTREMELY enamored with her . . . only she’s NOT herself, she’s Elena.  And that confuses Katherine too.

So, while Elena, at least at this point in the series, would probably be talking Damon’s EAR off about how he IS good person, and he CAN be a better man, if he just tries, etc. etc., Katherine’s suspiciously quiet.  She responds vaguely and generally to Damon’s inquiries, so as not to give herself away.  And when he kisses her, she’s undoubtedly, surprised, but decides to go with it anyway, because she’s Katherine.

After Useless Aunt Jenna breaks up the fun, and invites the vampire into her home, Katherine’s evasive tactics work once again, when she simply tells her doppelganger’s guardian that she “doesn’t want to talk” about The Kiss.  But when Kat talks to Uncle / Father John, that’s when things get REALLY interesting.  Because Katherine HAS a history with John.  She KNOWS the story he’s telling, even though Elena doesn’t.  So, she’s biding her time, waiting for a moment to strike.  And she picks a great one, right when Uncle / Father John’s defenses are at their weakest, because he believes his biological daughter is finally giving him the time of day.

And it all just goes to show you that those who dare to underestimate Vampire Katherine do so at their peril.  Take note, Salvatores and Originals.  Because something tells me The Kat will return in Season 3, and she will do so with a VENGEANCE!

Well, that’s all I’ve got on Vampire Katherine.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Special thanks again to the Petrova-Gifs Tumblr, for the excellent gifs.  And see you on Thursday, Fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

 

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Filed under Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries, Top Ten Lists

The Vampire Diaries’ Klaus / Elijah versus Damon / Stefan (And it’s all just a little bit of history repeating . . .)

Brothers . . . they know you better than anybody else in the world . . . sometimes even better than you know yourself.  And that specialized knowledge gives them an incredible amount of power over you.  It can make them your strongest allies . . .

. . . or your most frightening enemies.

Sometimes brothers can play both roles in your life, at once: protector and destroyer . . . advocate and executioner . .  . confidant and betrayer.  Perhaps, there are no two people that understand this concept better than The Vampire Diaries’ iconic brothers — both in life, and in blood — Damon and Stefan Salvatore.

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Correction:  There MAY actually be two people who understand this concept just a bit better than the Salvatore Brothers, but only because they’ve had about 1,000 years more experience than their decidedly younger counterparts . . .


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Of course, I am referring to the original vampire brothers, Klaus and Elijah, two siblings for whom the phrase “blood brothers” carries with it an incredibly powerful, not to mention, extremely deadly, meaning all it’s own . .  .

Upon completing our four-part Ripper Redux series, last week, Amy, over at Imaginary Men and I, turned to you, our beautiful and brilliant readers, and asked for your suggestions as to what TVD-related topic we should cover in our next pre-Season 3 installment . . .

All of your suggestions were so amazing, that we had an incredibly difficult time picking just one topic to cover in this week’s post.

So, we decided to start with two . . .

Beau’s suggested we tackle the Salvatore Brothers, and their complex relationship with one another.  “The bond between them, is it now rivalry, an unpleasant, unwelcome, brothership, or hidden care for each other?”

Coincidentally, Serendipity, author of the spectacular Delena fanfiction Shadowdancing, was also interested in the Salvatore Brothers.  However, her interests lied less in the way that they loved one another, and more in the way that they loved others . . .

They love others GOOD! 

Specifically, Serendipity hoped to explore the parallels between Stefan’s and Damon’s love for Elena and Katherine, and Klaus’ and Elijah’s “love” for Katherine and the Original Petrova Doppelganger Charlotte, who’s mysterious existence has been hinted at throughout The Vampire Diaries’ second season.

Since Amy and I tend to be rather . . . um . . . visual people . . .

*clears throat* 

We’ve decided to frame our analysis of the aforementioned issue using three iconic scenes from The Vampire Diaries’ series.  The first scene, from Season 1’s “Children of the Damned,features a standoff between Damon and Stefan that inadvertently endangers the lives of BOTH Elena and Katherine.

The second two scenes, both from Season 2’s Klaus, involve a similar standoff between Klaus and Elijah,  in which the brothers discuss the nature of vampire love, and the fate of one,  very special, Petrova Doppelganger . . .

Here’s how it’s going to work.  First, Amy, Serendipity and I will lay out and analyze each of the three individual scenes for you.  Once we are done with that, we’ll take a step back, and discuss what these scenes say about the Salvatores versus the Originals, in terms of their various likenesses and differences.  Sound good?

Excellent!  So, without further adieu, let the Brotherly Betrayals, and Doppelganger Love Triangles begin!

Scene 1: Another Vampire Girlfriend for Stefan and Damon?

Episode: “Children of the Damned” – 1 X 13

Setting the Scene:

So, remember, back last season, when the Salvatore Brothers still thought Katherine was locked away in suspended animation in that vampire tomb?  Ahhh, memories!

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The key to unlocking the tomb lied in reciting a spell developed by Bonnie’s ancestor, Emily.

“That’s ME!” 

The spell was contained in a Grimoire or “spell book.” As it turned out, the REAL reason Damon had initially returned to Mystic Falls — after having abandoned the town and his brother for nearly a century — was to find that book, recite the spell, and open the tomb, so that he and Katherine could be reunited, for all eternity . . .

Though both Stefan and Elena had jointly and separately promised Damon that they would help him do whatever it takes to rescue Katherine from the tomb (He promised to leave town, once he found her), the couple had secretly decided that awakening a rather large group of incredibly bloodthirsty vampires was not a particularly good way to boost Mystic Falls’ morale.  So, based on a hot tip from Good Old John Gilbert’s journal, the pair snuck off, in the middle of the night, to Stefan’s and Damon’s father’s grave, where Old Man Gilbert said the Grimoire would most likely be buried.

After a minimal amount of digging, Stefan and Elena uncovered the book, which they eventually planned to destroy, so that Damon could never find it.  The problem, of course, is that, like Stefan and Elena, Damon was also clued in to the Grimoire’s whereabouts.  And when he found Stefan and Elena, in the process of betraying his trust, to say he was not amused is the understatement of the century . . .

Potent Quotables:

STEFAN:  “I can’t let you bring her back.  I’m sorry.”

DAMON:  “So am I.  For thinking, for even a second, that I could trust YOU!”

STEFAN:  “You are not capable of trust.  The fact that you are here means that you read the journal, and you were planning on doing this yourself.”

DAMON:  “Of course, I was going to do it myself, because the only one I can count on is ME!  You made sure of that many years ago, Stefan.  But you (looks at Elena) . . . you had me fooled.”

And later . . .

DAMON:  “Give me the book, or I will snap her neck.  And you and I will have a Vampire Girlfriend.”

Still later . . .

DAMON:  “The problem is that I no longer trust that you will give it back.”

STEFAN:  “You just did the one thing that ensures that I will.”

Let’s Discuss:

Julie:  I find it fascinating that most TVD pundits (myself included) spend so much time and space discussing Damon’s second force-feeding of his blood to Elena, in “The Last Day” . . .

 . . .  whereas this first instance of involuntary blood exchange generally gets short shrift.

Perhaps, this is because, at the time, the act of forcefeeding had comparatively less significance to both parties involved, than it does now.  Elena, though clearly frightened, of the prospect of dying and “going vamp,” had really just started becoming intimate with her vampire boyfriend Stefan, at this point in the series.  Having not yet been exposed to Stefan’s darkside, Elena probably wasn’t particularly aware of the potentially negative impact becoming a bloodsucker might have on her psyche.  She also hadn’t really had the opportunity to consider what she would be giving up, if she was turned .  . .

By the time Elena has drank Damon’s blood again in “The Last Day,” we know, based on her later discussion with Stefan, that she has since given this matter a good deal of thought . . .

For Damon’s part, he was still very much hung up on Katherine, at the time this scene was taking place.  So, the threat of turning Elena was viewed by Stefan more as a bargaining chip to get back the book from Stefan, than anything else.  In fact, there is a good deal of evidence in the scene that Damon is actually bluffing . . . and that he never intends to actually turn Elena.

We see in Damon, a surprising amount of hesitation, caution, and guilt, in his dealings with Elena, following the force feeding . . . the way he nuzzles her hair affectionately, prior to the book being placed on the floor . . . the gentle way he releases her from his grasp, when the book is actually delivered . . . the almost apologetic way he pats Elena on the arm, as she rushes back to Stefan.

For a so-called cold and calculating killer, Damon sure seemed conflicted about the actual act of killing, in this scene!  In fact, I’d be willing to argue that a part of Damon was actually AFRAID that Stefan would call his bluff, and not return the book, forcing Damon to stick to his word, and turn Elena, to punish Stefan.  Oddly enough, Damon’s forcefeeding of Elena in “The Last Day,” which was done out of an INTENSE love for her, was much rougher and more callous seeming.  I think this was because, in that scene, Damon was NOT conflicted at all.  He simply couldn’t picture a life without Elena, and saw turning her as the only way to keep her from dying . . .

Amy:  While Damon seems used to betrayals from his brother, his  new pain over Elena’s betrayal is written all over his face.

And when Damon is hurt – he lashes out and does things that cause irreparable damage – such as  here where he threatens Elena and feeds her his blood. An act he’ll repeat in  S2 when his fear that Elena will die at the Sacrifice for Klaus’ curse leads him to force feed her his blood as a desperate “insurance policy” that she won’t ever die.

At this point Elena does not know the true story of how the Salvatores became vampires. Is this Damon not so subtly telling her that he has
every reason not to trust his brother? Or maybe an early foreshadowing of Stefan’s secret Ripper past?

Serendipity:  This is Stefan’s second betrayal of Damon, the first being (in that same episode) when 1864 Stefan promises Damon not to tell their father about Katherine, and Stefan betrays that trust. Damon says he’s not surprised by Stefan doing that again in the present, but he is very hurt by Elena doing so, especially since he asked her about it earlier that night (“Can I trust you?” And she says “Yes,” which is actually her first act of lying to Damon, I think).

Julie:  What’s interesting about the exchange between Stefan and Damon in this scene, is that you can really see where both brothers are coming from.  From Stefan’s perspective, this has much less to do with Damon’s “right” to be reunited with Katherine, and more to do with the extreme danger that the release of these OTHER vampires will undoubtedly cause for the town.  And yet, you can also see how Damon sees this as the ultimate slight, on his brother’s part.

Damon’s overwhelming devotion to Katherine blinds him from seeing the collateral damage of what he is doing.  He can’t understand why his own brother would possibly choose to ensure the happiness of a town full of virtual strangers over his own kin.  Plus, I’m sure there’s a small part of Damon that wonders whether Stefan is keeping Katherine from him, so that he can have her (or at least, her modern-day equivalent, looks wise) all to himself . . . while Damon, once again, is left alone and empty-handed.

Amy: Here the brothers are forced to trust one another – when neither of them do. Stefan has to trust that Damon cares about Elena enough not
to hurt her despite his threats and his anger with them both; Damon has to trust that Stefan loves Elena enough to give him what he really wants – the journal – and also trust that his “good brother” will make the “good decision.” Whereas Katherine was the one using the brothers as pawns in 1864, in this moment Elena is the pawn the brothers have to bargain for to each get what they want.

Serendipity:  Question though: I wonder how the Grimoire got buried with Giuseppe Salvatore? Stefan killed him to complete his
transition (awkward having to dig him up then) but we see Emily running away from the round-up, and she isn’t a vampire, so how did they get it? Did she just leave the thing behind? Emily didn’t die that day, since Kat had to come back to ‘tie those loose ends’ as she told Damon  in ‘The Houseguest’.

Julie:  Hmm . . . good point.  I never really thought about that before!  I’m thinking that, since John Gilbert survived BOTH Giuseppe and Emily, following Emily’s death, it was John who buried the Grimoire with Giuseppe Salvatore.

Maybe he believed that this would be the best way of keeping the book safe from the Vampire Salvatore Brothers.  The grotesque circumstances surrounding Giuseppe’s death (which were probably fairly obvious, once his body was found) would seem to dictate that Stefan and Damon would NEVER go anywhere near that body, knowing, that, if they did, the townspeople would round them up, and possibly do to them what they had to the other vampires in Mystic Falls.

This is just a guess, of course .  . . 😉

Amy: You might be right about that.  Despite the promises of eternal misery and the constant wall slamming/throwing each other out windows/staking one another throughout the centuries – deep down the Salvatore Brothers love each other. They need each other – why else would Stefan have wanted his brother to turn Vamp with him? He didn’t want to be alone, he wanted them to share eternal life together. Stefan
is always swearing there is humanity still in Damon, and he withstands a lot of Damon’s terrible behaviors to try and force that humanity out.

Scene 2: “Love is a Vampire’s Greatest Weakness”

Episode: “Klaus” – 2 X 19

Setting the Scene:  Klaus and Elijah are half-brothers.  And both are part of THE Original Vampire family, from which all vampires are to some extent descended.  Though they were born to the same mother, the two brothers have different fathers.  Klaus’ father is a werewolf.  This means, technically, that, upon taking a human life, Klaus should morph into the only were-vampire in the entire world!

Fearing that this would make Klaus too powerful, and would mess with the supernatural order of things, a group of witches put a spell on Klaus, rendering his werewolf side dormant, no matter how many humans he killed.  The spell was sealed by the blood of a woman named Charlotte, the Original Petrova Doppelganger, with whom both Klaus and Elijah apparently had intimate relations.

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Breaking the curse requires a Sacrifice ceremony that can only be performed on a Full Moon.  To complete the ceremony requires the incantations of a witch, and the lifeblood of a werewolf, a vampire, and, most importantly, a Petrova Doppelganger.  The problem of course, is that since Charlotte’s death, a Petrova Doppelganger hasn’t appeared in centuries!  That is, until Katerina Petrova enters Klaus’ and Elijah’s life.  For very different reasons, she is precisely what both vampire brothers are seeking . . .

Potent Quotables:

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ELIJAH:  “The full moon is tomorrow, brother.”

KLAUS:  “After all these centuries, it is finally time.”

ELIJAH: “I have been to see the witches.  They believe they may have found a way to spare the Doppelganger.”

KLAUS:  “What does it matter if she lives or not?  She is a means to an end.  That is all.”

ELIJAH:  “But she should die for your gain?”

KLAUS:  “She is human.  Her life means nothing.”

ELIJAH:  “I beg you to consider this.”

KLAUS: “Are you so foolish as to care for her?”

ELIJAH: (hesitates) “Of course not.”

KLAUS:  “Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness.  And we are not weak, Elijah.  We do not feel.  And we do not care.”

ELIJAH: “We did once.”

KLAUS: (softens) “Too many lifetimes ago to matter.  Tell the witches not to bother.   The Sacrifice will happen as planned.

Let’s Discuss:

Amy: The big reveal that Klaus and Elijah were brothers was a doozy. Up until that point the audience sees Elijah as an ally in the war against Klaus (a scary, unpredictable ally, but still) But as his brother – does he have an ulterior motive? Does he want reunion or revenge?

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In this flashback, Katherine (or Katerina) is, for once – the pawn between this set of brothers. Klaus needs her in her human form to break
the curse that will allow him to be a WereVamp, and Elijah who has been assisting with these Curse Breaking duties has clearly fallen for the lovely Petrova Doppleganger and would rather she not die in the service of his brother’s master plan.

Julie: The acting in this scene was just spectacular.  Kudos to both Daniel Gillies and Joseph Morgan for a truly complex and riveting peformance.  Watching the calm, calculating, dignified, and thoughtful Elijah navigate the rough waters that are the easily excitable, and often rash, yet, at the same time, surprisingly cool and calculating, Klaus, was truly mesmerizing.

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In particular, I love the choices Daniel Gillies makes in this scene.  As understated and soft-spoken as the character of Elijah can be, he’s also brutally smart.  Elijah knows exactly how Klaus feels (or at least pretends to feel) about humanity.  And I suspect that the Original Petrova Doppelganger broke his heart BIG TIME.  So, while it’s clearly obvious that Elijah has fallen hard for the maiden Katerina, and desperately wants to save her from death, he’s wise enough not to come right out and say so . . .

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At first, Elijah is very casual and nonchalant about his “suggestion” that the witches can spare Katerina’s life, while still giving Klaus exactly what he wants.  He clearly has experience placating, and playing sidekick to his brother.  And he does it well.

The problem is that Klaus has grown up with Elijah for CENTURIES, by this point.  So, he sees right through his brother’s machinations to the love lurking in Elijah’s heart.  Backed into a corner, Elijah is forced to finally be honest with his brother about his feelings, BEGGING him to reconsider.  Now, that he has him right where he wants him, Klaus puts the final nail in Elijah’s proverbial coffin, by implying that he is weak for having feelings for a human.  And yet, when Elijah not-so-subtly suggests that even the GREAT Klaus is not immune to such affections, we can see the slightest chink in the Big Bad Vampire’s armor.  A chink that will grow into a gaping hole, in the next scene . . .

Scene 3: “DO NOT LIE TO ME!”

Episode: “Klaus 2 x 19

Setting the Scene: Shortly after the above scene has taken place, Katerina Petrova mysteriously vanishes.  And Klaus has a pretty good idea who was behind her sudden disappearance . . .

Potent Quotables:

KLAUS:  “What have you done?”

ELIJAH: “I don’t understand.”

KLAUS: “Katerina has gone.  She has fled . . . What did you tell her?”

ELIJAH: “I told her nothing.”

KLAUS: *insert Original Wall Slam here* “DO NOT LIE TO MEEEE!”

ELIJAH: “I will find her.  You have my word.”

KLAUS:  “If you do not, I give you my word.  You will be dead.”

Let’s Discuss:

Serendipity: What we see in “Klaus” may very well be the  First Betrayal Klaus has experienced from his typically-loyal brother.  At least, I think it’s a First Betrayal (though we do not know that for sure). Not that we see the actual betrayal, just the aftermath of Katherine having gone missing and it being Elijah’s fault for having warned her about Klaus’ plans.

Amy: Here, the Originals’ Brothers do their version of the patented Salvatore Brother Wall Slam. Klaus’ Curse Breaking Party is about to get ruined because Katerina has written her own escape clause and started her life of Vampire Bitch on the Run. He blames his younger, dutiful, brother for having feelings that allowed him to betray Klaus to help the woman he loves.

Julie: In the last scene, we saw how cool and calculating Klaus can be, when it is in his best interest to do so.  But, in general, I think Klaus is a pretty excitable guy.  Unlike Elijah, Klaus’ MO is to rip something to shreds first, and think about the consequences of that action later.  Here, we get to see Klaus in what I believe is his TRUE form.  He is raw, animalistic, and full of RAGE.  And yet, I think a part of him is also extremely shocked, and maybe just a bit hurt, that his own brother has had the GALL (and the intelligence) to go behind his back and foil his plans, in this very personal way . . . especially, since Elijah knows just how much Klaus wants to become a were-vamp, and how long he has been waiting for it.

Klaus feels as though Elijah has made a fool of him.  His brother has done something Klaus thought no one could do . . . trick and betray him.  And the fact that Elijah did it for a HUMAN, and lied about it, when confronted, that just digs the knife in deeper, as far as Klaus is concerned.  When Klaus threatens to kill Elijah, if he doesn’t find Katerina and bring her back, we KNOW he means it.  And centuries later, Klaus proves just how serious this threat actually was . . .

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A Blood Brotherhood Redux: Tying it all Together . . .

Amy: So the Originals Brothers have switched hair colors but clearly Klaus = Damon and Elijah = Stefan. Damon plots, kills and feels nothing. Stefan fixes, protects and cares deeply. Elijah wants to remind Klaus that they DID feel at one time, the same way Stefan wants Damon to remember his humanity and that he too can feel love and compassion. Klaus wants ultimate power and he does not care who he has to kill to get it – innocent girl, brother.

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Serendipity: That’s interesting that you see them that way.  Because, for me, I always want to see Damon as Elijah and Stefan as Klaus… after all, it looks as though Katherine is ‘something’ (lover? Special someone?) more to Klaus than to Elijah, casting Elijah in the role of the pursuing brother, victim of (unrequited?) love, just like Damon.

But on the other hand there are certain parallels being drawn between Klaus/Damon and Elijah/Stefan, because it is Klaus who is betrayed by Elijah, casting Elijah into Stefan’s role of the betrayer of hope. I took a sneak peak at parts of both episodes, and remarked that the clothing seems to reflect that, specifically as far as the first betrayal goes (might be a total coincidence though): 1864 Damon wears a blue suit in CoTD, just as Klaus does when meeting Katherina for the first time (might just be because they both are blue-eyed though, only this is the first time I noticed this; and neither usually wears blue), while 1864 Stefan wears a brown suit in CoTD just like Elijah (then again, both have brown eyes, but that hardly ever seems to play). I didn’t pay attention to present day Damon and Stefan, though I imagine they wore their regular clothes…

Julie:  You both raise good points.  On one hand, Elijah and Damon both seem to have that broody, unrequited love, thing going for them.  (“I’m going to save that Katherine’s life, dammit!  So, what if she’ll probably end up choosing my brother over me!  At least she will know I care!”)  And yet, in the scenes we’ve selected, Klaus and Damon were both definitely playing the role of The Betrayed to their brother’s Betrayer . . .

Also, there’s a definite similarity in temperment and ideology, between Klaus and Damon and  Elijah and Stefan, respectively.  Regarding Klaus and Damon, these two are clearly, the more emotional and impulsive brothers.  When they feel something, they ACT on it.   And very little effort is made on either of their parts to disguise their emotions.

Though in many ways, that makes them SCARIER than their more diplomatic brothers, it also, oddly enough, makes them more “honest.”  When it comes to Klaus and Damon, you always know exactly what you are going to get.  That’s not necessarily the case with Elijah and Stefan, who have been dishonest and betrayed the ones they love on numerous occasions, under the guise of doing what they feel is “honorable.

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In terms of ideologies, we saw in both of these scenes, that Klaus and Damon, each for their own reasons, value the lives of the people they love and their own lives, over the lives of “humans.”  Klaus tells Elijah that because Katherine is human, her life means nothing.  Damon, by wanting to rescue Vampire Katherine from the tomb, at the risk of letting all the rest of the tomb vampires loose as well, impliedly places HER life, and his happiness, over the lives of the townspeople of Mystic Falls.  Elijah and Stefan, conversely, seem to value human life, and see humans, like then-Katherine, Elena, and the people of Mystic Falls, as individuals worthy of having their lives protected.

Klaus’ and Damon’s feelings toward humanity extend toward their feelings toward human emotions.  Klaus doesn’t care for humans, because he sees them as inferior.  (Though, of course, this may be the result of earlier heartbreak, at the hands of the Original Petrova.  Who knows?)

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Damon, on the other hand, resents his loss of humanity, and the experience of human emotion serves as a painful reminder to him of what he know longer has.  A comparison of Klaus’ “Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness . . . We do not feel.  We do not care” line in Klaus to Damon’s “[Being upset over Rose’s death] would be human of me Elena, and I am NOT human,” in “The Descent” is pretty telling in terms of the similarities and differences between Klaus’ and Damon’s respective opinions on the experience of human emotions.

Amy: We haven’t seen enough of the Originals’ Brothers to really understand how their relationship worked, but I don’t get a whole lot of
brotherly love vibes. Elijah actually seems more like pre-Vampire Damon – sweet, quiet, prone to easily falling deeply in love. And Klaus – well I don’t doubt that he’d kill his brother in a heartbeat (heh. Get it? Because they don’t have one?) if he believed he had been betrayed.

Serendipity: Also Damon and Klaus are alike in that they didn’t get on with their fathers.  For Klaus that seems logical, since his father turns out not to be his father at all, which makes me wonder whether maybe the same might not be true for Damon… (pure conjecture of course LOL).  Then there is something about respect, as well, I think… in CoTD, if I heard it right, Giuseppe says he lost respect for Damon, who just
seems to shrug that off. When Stefan tells Damon he has something from Elena Damon will never have (in Klaus), i.e. her respect, they start brawling.  Apparently, Damon does care about Elena’s respect, more than he did about his father’s.

Julie: It makes sense that Klaus and Damon feel rejected by their fathers, their brothers, and their former lovers (again, I’m making assumptions about this Charlotte girl).  In all of the above scenes we see that Klaus and Damon both have a bit of a “Me Against the World” attitude toward life.  In “Children of the Damned,” Damon notes that the only one he can trust is himself.  It’s a sad statement, and yet, it seems largely consistent with much of his life experiences.  Unlike Damon, Klaus might have initially felt that he COULD trust Elijah.  So, it wasn’t until his brother betrayed him, that he felt truly alone in the world.

This Lone Ranger attitude Klaus and Damon have extends to their feelings about the women they love.  Just as there may have been a part of Damon that saw Stefan’s keeping Katherine from him as a jealous and possessive move, as opposed to a humanitarian one, there also may have been a part of Klaus, that assumed Elijah’s actions were at least partially dictated by his feelings for the Original Petrova Doppelganger.  If that was the case, Klaus, being the cocky self-absorbed vampire, he clearly is, might have assumed that the reason Elijah helped Katherine to escape his clutches had LESS to do with him simply loving her, and more to do with (1) not wanting Klaus to become a supremely powerful were-vampire; and (2) punishing Klaus for getting the girl, once again.

If human brothers are naturally competitive, in all aspects of their lives, it would stand to reason that VAMPIRE brothers are TWICE as competitive, since they have that much more TIME to compete, and that many more opportunities to potentially feel inferior . . .

Amy: Mirroring the 1X13 clip, we see that Damon does NOT = Klaus in this form of the equation, because he doesn’t want to kill either his brother
or Elena to get what he wants, no matter how desperately he wants it.

The Salvatores, on the other hand – talk about killing each other a lot – but when it comes down to it – they never would. If they did, who
would they threaten, slam into walls, and fight over the same girl with for all eternity??

PHEW!  That sure was a lot of analysis!  But hopefully, it’s given you a bit of insight into both pairs of our favorite vampire brothers.  Now, it’s YOUR turn readers.  Do you think Damon is more like Klaus or Elijah?  What about Stefan?  And how do you think these dynamics will change now that Ripper Stefan has, at least temporarily, aligned himself with Klaus?

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Also, I’m curious as to what you all think happened with the Original Petrova?  Perhaps, Stefan Salvatore wasn’t the first vampire in TVD world to have a human Petrova Doppelganger girlfriend . . . 😉

By the way, if you’ve missed any part of the Ripper Redux series, you can find the links to all four parts, by clicking HERE . . .

Well, that’s all for now, Fangbangers.   We’ve still got one more week before the Season 3 premiere.  So, please keep submitting your article ideas.  Who knows?  You might just end up being featured in next week’s blog series installment . . .

See you then! 😉

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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The Vampire Diaries’ Ripper Redux – Part III (Feeding the Monster Within . . .)

“Who’s next in line to GET IN MY BELLY?” 

“Is it YOU?”

Welcome back, my darling Ripper-aholics!  Thank you for joining us for Part III of The Ripper Redux Chronicles.  Last week on The Ripper Redux, we traveled to Present Day, Mystic Falls,  to observe the first underpinings of Modern Day Ripper Stefan.  This week, it’s back to 1864, where we will learn how Stefan and Damon spent their first few days as vampires . . .

“Dammit, Stefan!  I just had this couch cleaned!  Must you always eat in the living room!”

Ironically, it is during these Darkest Days, that Stefan began to build two tenuous links to his humanity, both of which were destined to chart his fate for the rest of eternity: (1) his own vampire brother, and (2) his tremendous capacity for LOOOOOOOOVE . . .

*clears throat*  Did it just get hot in here?

I’m referring, of course, to the same Ripper Stefan who devoured all but one of Elena’s ancestors for dinner . . .

The Last Gilbert Standing . . . (well, actually, he was pretty much laying down, at the time) 

 . . .  and snacked on a trio of Lusty Ladies of the Night for dessert.  Here was a vampire whose appetite for blood and lust knew no bounds.  It is this Ripper Stefan who we meet in the series of flashbacks shown in Season 2’s “The Dinner Party” . . .

“Could I, perhaps, trouble you for a bib?” 

(By the way, for those of you who missed the two previous installments of this series, worry not!  You can check them out by clicking the links below:

Part I: Click Here

Part II: Click Here 

Bon appetite!)

“I had to turn it off.  It was the only way I could survive . . .”

Setting the Scene: 

Judging you . . .

So much for a romantic getaway!  Tensions between Stefan and Elena reach their height, when Stefan learns that Elena’s “agreement” with Elijah involves her sacrificing her own life to the Original Badass, Klaus (who we later learn is Elijah’s brother).  Elena’s got some ‘splaining to do!  But, as it turns out, she isn’t the only one . . .

At the Gilbert cottage, Elena finds an old diary of her ancestor, Jonathan Gilbert.  In it, he details his 1864 run-ins with then-newbie vampire, Stefan Salvatore.  And some of the things that Jonathan has to say about Elena’s boyfriend aren’t particularly nice . . .

“Damn, that Jonathan Gilbert!  I should have decapitated that Diary-Writing Douchebag, when I had the chance!  Oh, wait . . . that means Elena would never have been born.  Doesn’t it?  Hmm . . . nevermind then.”

Let’s watch the clip, shall we?

(Click the internal link to view.)

Potent Quotables:

Present Day –

ELENA:  “He described you as a monster.”

STEFAN:  “That’s what I was . . . In the weeks after I became a vampire, I relished in it.  I took it to the darkest place I could.”

(And later . . .)

ELENA: “It sounds like you were Damon.”

STEFAN: “I was worse.”

STEFAN (voiceover): “I wasn’t myself then.  I was full of guilt, for what I did to my father, my brother.  I had to turn it off.  It was the only way that I could survive.”

Flashback –

STEFAN: “Damon, don’t be like this.  I’m just having fun.”

DAMON: “Staying ALIVE is more fun Stefan.  We have to be more careful than this, more clever . . . like Katherine was.”

STEFAN: “Look where that got her.”

DAMON: “I’m done here . . . with YOU.  I’m leaving town.”

STEFAN: “You hate me . . . I know . . . an eternity of misery and all that . . . I know . . . But you don’t have to leave town.  Damon, I’ll do better.  I promise.”

DAMON: “No, you will get us killed.  I’d rather leave you to do that to yourself.”

Why this scene is a key moment in Ripper Canon:

 Julie:  The TVD writers have done an extremely good job of taking what we THINK we know about Stefan’s blood lusty past, and repeatedly turning it on its head.  (They will do so again, in the Season Finale.)   In the last scene from “Blood Brothers,” we saw Ghost Emily tell Stefan that his TRUE CURSE would be his inherent good heartedness, and the way in which the pain and guilt of his sins would eat him up inside forever.  Based on Stefan’s facial expression following the exchange, we knew that Emily’s words had a definite effect on him.  However, the effect wasn’t exactly what you would expect . . .

“Screw YOU, Emily!” 

Also, in that episode, we saw Damon wash his hands of Stefan for the role the latter played in his at least-partially unwilling vampire transition.  The Elder Salvatore Brother vowed, right then and there, to make his little brother’s life miserable for all eternity.  The exchange suggested that Damon left town that evening, “turned off his emotions,” and immediately became the Bad Boy Vamp we know and love today . . .

In this scene, however, we learn that wasn’t the case.  Despite his anger at Stefan, Damon, apparently, still felt enough kinship with and brotherly responsibility toward Stefan to stay with him for a few more weeks.  But every relationship has its breaking point.  And THIS was Damon’s . . .

Amy:  Bloodaholic Stefan has the addict behaviors down pat here: the benders, the denial, the pleading when faced with consequences. In this brief flashback we see him slurping away at many a willing victim (“Me! I’m next!” those Civil War belles sure were slutty!) in what is basically a Blood Orgy of sorts.  His growling as he feeds, the girls moans, the seeming pleasure that hunter and prey are both getting off on are as close to S-E-X as TVD is allowed to get away with on the CW . . .

“Was it as good for you, as it was for me?” 

Julie:  Ummm . . . I’ll have what she’s having. 😉  Now that you mention it, New Vamp Stefan definitely seems a bit crazier, and more maniacal, than Seasoned Vamp Stefan.  (So much for “not wasting the blood,” and “not making a mess!”)  Having not yet sufficiently mastered the “talents” required to become the cold calculating killer we witnessed in “Miss Mystic Falls,” when Stefan chews on his Victorian Honeys, he seems more in need of a feeding trough and a roll of extra-absorbant paper towels, than anything else . . .

And yet, New Vamp Stefan does share a couple of traits with the Blood-Lusty Stefan of “Miss Mystic Falls”: namely, an enjoyment of killing, and a complete lack of concern for his human victims .  . .

Amy:   Enjoyment of killing, indeed!  Ripper Stefan is having a grand old time doing his Biting Thing, until Wet Blanket Big Bro Damon arrives to compel the Slutty Belles out of La Casa de Rich and Awesome 1.0, and smack some sense into him.

“Come on, Stefan!  We don’t even know whether or not vampires can get STD’s, yet!  Can you imagine having crabs for all eternity?” 

This is where Stefan becomes quite the Little Brother with his rationalizations (No worries about the Founding Families, he’s gonna kill them soon, anyway), whining (that line “Damon don’t be like this, I’m just having fun” is delivered in such a bratty tone), justifying his “weeks” of binging on willing ladies’ necks and putting the Salvatores at risk, by exposing the lie that they survived both human – and vampire deaths.

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Julie: Good point, Amy!  You know, it’s interesting that, in his voiceover, Stefan claims that “turning off his emotions” was his chosen method of coping with his guilt, during those Early Vampire Days.  And yet, just like in “Blood Brothers,” here we see Stefan, once again, become rather emotional, when the Elder Salvatore makes his SECOND threat to leave Stefan alone to his own devices.

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Stefan’s childlike entreaties for his brother to stay with him, (“I’ll do better.  I promise!”), stand in stark contrast, to his monstrous acts earlier in the episode.  Here is an individual who is DEATHLY afraid of being alone with himself, and his own powerfully devastating emotions.  Despite the fact that, during the act of killing, Stefan genuinely seems to be able to effectively turn off his humanity, it always seems to bite him in the ass, immediately after feeding . . . kind of like a bad hangover that just won’t go away.

“I have SUCH a headache.  I’m never drinking AGAIN, I swear!  I’m sticking to bunnies, from now on . . .” 

Amy:  When Damon lays down the law – that he is done with Stefan for good – that’s when the facade of not giving a sh*t and calling the downward spiral he’s on “fun” comes crashing down and Stefan is faced with what he couldn’t face the night he became a vampire: going on without his brother. The desperate tone his voice takes – the way he grasps at Damon as he stalks off – he’s pathetic really.  As Julie notes, he is terrified of being alone with himself and feeling all that he is so anxious to “turn off”. But he also needs Damon with him.

His “turning” of Damon into a vampire didn’t go quite as planned, with the “lifetime of eternal misery” and such.  But maybe he had hope since Damon stuck around that what he did to his brother could be forgiven – OR perhaps he imagined they would enjoy the kind of brutal partnership that we now know Klaus has planned for him . . .

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Julie: I’m glad you brought up the whole Klaus Connection.  I remember watching this episode for the first time, and being EXTREMELY disappointed with the whole “I Stopped Being Bad Stefan, Because Lexi Taught Me the True Meaning of Love” explanation.

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I just thought it was such a cop out, on the writers’ part.  I mean, here we were assuming that Stefan’s Bloodlust was something he battled with, on and off,  for 160+ -some odd years, and then this flashback comes along, which suggests it only lasted 160 some odd hours. 

Now, we see that Stefan DID, in fact, have a “drinking problem,” LONG AFTER meeting Lexi.  In fact, in “As I Lay Dying,” Klaus suggests that Ripper Stefan was alive and well, as recently as 1917.  This, of course, makes things a lot more interesting, as it potentially paves the way for us to see some still-darker flashbacks of Ripper Stefan in Season 3.  It also makes me wonder whether Stefan intentionally misled Elena about the extent of his dark past, in this episode . . .

Amy:  Heck yeah!  Bring on more Ripper Stefan!

The mirror of this scene is at least a dozen others we’ve seen in present day Mystic Falls – in which Damon acts cruel, flippant and ignorant to whatever pleas or demands Stefan is making of him.

To find out that at the beginning those roles were reversed adds yet another layer to the very complicated relationship and history of the Brothers Salvatore. Personally, I hope in S3 we explore more how Stefan thinks himself “worse” than Damon. Was that our first clue that he was less Lexi’s Reformed Vamp Buddy . . .

. . .  than he was the “ripper” of Klaus’ wingman fantasies?

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Julie:  I guess we will have to wait until September 15th to find out, won’t we?

“Damn you, CW!  DAMN YOU!”

HOWEVER . . . speaking of Stefan and Klaus, Part IV of this series tackles Stefan’s jaw-dropping degradation into his Ripper self, at the hands of the Original Were-Vamp, as seen in TVD’s EPIC Season 2 finale, “As I Lay Dying.”  You will be able to find THAT installment over at Amy’s spectacular Imaginary Men blog, sometime next week.

Until then, HAPPY FANGING!

[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever – (Now featuring Team Ripper-themed t-shirts!)]

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The Vampire Diaries’ Ripper Redux – A Look Back at Some of the Most Pivotal Scenes in Ripper Stefan Canon (Part I)

DAMON: “Psst, don’t you think it’s weird that TV Recappers and Imaginary Men are doing a blog series on YOU?  I mean, isn’t everything related to this show, on BOTH of those blogs, usually about ME?”

STEFAN:  “Yes .  . . but things have changed.  I’m EVIL now.  Girls like evil.  Didn’t you get the memo?” 

Greetings, Fangbangers!  September 15th is just a few short weeks away.  Before we know it, Damon, Elena, and the gang will be back on our TV screens, compelling us to watch them . . .

This, of course, begs the question:  “How have YOU been preparing for The Vampire Diaries Season 3 return?  Perhaps, you’ve tried out a new diet . . .

 . . . or spent time cuddled in bed with a loved one?

Maybe, you’ve sat yourself down on the proverbial therapist’s couch, in order to figure out what you’ve got hiding underneath those metaphorical “blankets” .  . .

Perhaps, you’ve been trying hard to forget the past, in hopes that you can stop it from haunting you . . .

As for me, and my fabulous blogging pal, Amy, over at Imaginary Men, we’ve been spending the hiatus, revisiting some of The Vampire Diaries’ most pivotal moments . . . and revisting them . . . and revisiting them . . .

During this exercise, one of the things we’ve found particularly intriguing was the evolution of Ripper Stefan.  As you know, Ripper Stefan, much like his companions, Naked Damon . . .

  . . . and Ponytail Elena . . .

 . . . have ALWAYS been a part of TVD canon.  But they only show themselves at pivotal moments during the series  . . .

In this web series, Amy and I will be reviewing four pivotal scenes in the evolution of Ripper Stefan.  The first one, you can read RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.  The second one, will be featured on Amy’s Blog (hopefully, this coming Thursday).  The third one will be back on this blog, and  .  . .

 . . . well . . . you get the idea . . .

So, let’s get started with the Ripper Redux!  After all, when it comes right down to it, cannibalism IS just another form of Brotherly Love .  . .

Ripper Redux- Scene 1: “We can do this . . . TOGETHER!”

Episode: “Blood Brothers” – 1 X 20

Stefan Salvatore:  A bleeding heart, who makes hearts bleed . . . 

(Click the internal link to view)

Setting the Scene: 

Having both died with Vampire Katherine’s blood in their systems, Stefan and Damon awaken one fateful morning, in 1864, to find themselves “in transition,” half human  / half vampire.  Now, they are faced with a choice:  Feed on human blood within the next three days, and become a FULL vampire . . . or die of starvation.

In other news, I believe this is the ONLY time in Vampire Diaries history, in which Stefan and Damon can both be found shirtless in the same frame.  And, trust me, I’ve looked!

Damon — who can’t imagine a life without the woman he loves (Katherine, at this time, is presumed dead) — seems fairly certain that he will choose death over the alternative.  Stefan agrees, but seems a bit less certain of his decision than his brother.  But then the younger Salvatore brother greets . . . and eats  . . . his murderous vampire-slaying jackass of a dad, in his childhood home.  That’s when ALL BREAKS LOOSE . . . in Stefan’s soul.

Potent Quotables:

STEFAN:  “I brought her for you.  She is a gift.”

DAMON: “What have you done, Stefan?”

STEFAN:  (about his father) “He was dying and the blood was too strong .  . . I needed it.  I had to have it.”

STEFAN: “My body is exploding with power, Damon.  I can hear things from far away.  I can see through the darkness.  I can move like it’s magic.  And the guilt?  The pain?  Damon, I can turn it off like a switch.  Katherine was right.  It’s a whole ‘nother world out there, Damon.”

DAMON: “Katherine is dead, Stefan.  There is no world without her.”

STEFAN: “No.  You can turn that off too!  You don’t have to feel that, pain anymore!”

DAMON: “I don’t want it.”

STEFAN: “You are weak. You’ll be dead soon.  You NEED  THIS.  You’ll DIE.  . . Don’t fight it.  We can do this .  . . TOGETHER!”

Why it’s essential to RIPPER CANON:

Before we get started, can any of you Pretty Little Liars fans out there confirm for me whether or not the girl who plays “Dinner” in
this scene is, in fact, Troian Bellisario, a.k.a. Spencer Hastings from PLL?

I suspect she’s NOT, because I didn’t notice the credit on her IMDB page (and you would think, of all prior film and television credits, THIS would be one she’d definitely want on there!).  And yet, every time Iook at “Dinner,” all I see is “Spencer,” particularly, at the beginning of the scene, when Damon asks, “Who’s THAT?”  It’s really quite distracting . . .

“Please don’t eat me, you big sexy vampire, YOU!  I’ve got enough problems with “A” out to ruin my life.”

Anyway, on to the scene . . .

The most obvious parallel between THIS scene, and the one between Stefan and Klaus in the finale, comes right out in the first sentence
Stefan utters.  Stefan refers to “Dinner” as a “gift” that Damon should be honored to “rip into.”  Years later, Klaus uses the same concept of
“gift” to entice Stefan to feed, not just on human BLOOD, but on a REAL HUMAN girl, just like “Dinner.”

It’s probably worth noting, that back in 1864, blood bags weren’t as readily available as they are today.   Therefore, I suspect that MOST of the
vampires living in Mystic Falls back then (as well as the vampires in Katherine’s and Klaus’ time) fed almost exclusively on HUMAN blood.  They did so, not necessarily because they loved doing it, but because that’s what they needed to do, in order to survive.

This would seem to soften the blow of what Stefan is asking of his brother, thereby, making it seem slightly more humane, at least in
context.  But Stefan’s remorseless detailing to Damon about how he ate their DAD, because he “had to have [his blood],” tends to erase any sympathy we might have otherwise mustered for him in this scene.  No matter how AWFUL a person is, I really don’t think anyone deserves to be eaten alive by their own son.  Do you?

In Stefan’s defense, this guy kind of SUCKED .  . . 

Next, we witness Stefan’s “pitch” to Damon about the“Wonders of Vampirism.”  And, boy, does he sell it!  This monologue was undoubtedly a tough one for Paul Wesley deliver.  In the hands of a lesser actor, you could imagine these words coming out sounding too cliché, or Scooby Doo-esque, a parody of themselves.

“Mmmmm, just like Dad used to make taste.” 

Yet, Paul delivers the lines like a coke addict, who is jonesing off his very first taste.  It’s the right choice for the character.  After all, blood IS a drug, for Stefan.  It allows him to experience a sort of manic euphoria that he would never allow himself to enjoy in an un-altered state.

In the ultimate role reversal, we see Damon (noticeably weakened from having purposefully allowed himself to live bloodless for a couple of days) looking at his transformed brother with a mixture of fear, concern, pity, and just a twinge of self-righteousness.  Of course, in the present day, we have seen Stefan give Damon THIS look many times.  But for Damon, this seems to be somewhat of a first.

I’m totally judging you, right now  . . . 

I mention self-righteousness.  And yet, surprisingly enough, I’m not actually referring to Damon judging Stefan for eating his dad, nor for his
unrelenting enjoyment of being a vampire.  Rather, Damon judges Stefan for not LOVING Katherine enough to TRULY be willing to die for her.  However, the  fact that Damon seems to LOVE Katherine more than Stefan does, gives him no joy.  As we later learn, a big part of  Damon’s turning on Stefan, and threatening him with an “eternity of misery,” stems from his resentment that Katherine chose to feed Stefan her blood, in addition to Damon.

Yet amidst all this drug pushing, violence, jealousy and cannibalism, there is a surprising amount of brotherly love in this scene.  And though he may be doing it for his own selfish reasons (most notably, a fear of spending eternity alone), I suspect there is a part of Stefan, even in his darkest incarnation, that genuinely wants what’s best for his brother.  And to Stefan, what is best for Damon is LIVING!

“Here I am .  . . just chillin.’  Living La Vida Vampire.” 

“You are weak . . . You’ll be dead soon.  You need this!  You’ll die,” pleads Stefan, clutching at his brother’s shirt, in desperation.

Even during Damon’s first feeding, Stefan, in his own twisted way, seems insistent on showing brotherly affection and concern for the
elder Salvatore.  Observe how he gently clutching his brother’s shoulder, offering him both physical and emotional support, as he takes his first taste.

“Hey, Stefan!  Can you get out of here!  Can’t you see I’m trying to get laid?” 

These aforementioned “brotherly moments” have echoes throughout the series.  The first echo appears in “The Last Day,” when Damon makes the unilateral decision to force feed Elena his blood, in order to prevent the possibility of HER death by Klaus.  She sees his actions as selfish.  But he sees them, at least at the time, as her only TRUE chance at survival.

The second echo comes during the finale, when Stefan literally sells his soul to the Devil, also so that Damon . . . can LIVE.

“This is Martyr Stefan speaking.  How can I personally sacrifice for your happiness today?” 

Back in 1864, Stefan enticed his hungry and weak brother to complete his vampire transition, so that the two of them could spend eternity
TOGETHER.  But a furious Damon rebuffed his entreaties.  And for many years, Stefan walked the Earth without his “other half.”  Now, in the present day, Stefan again must walk ALONE without his brother.  Only this time, the choice to do so was all HIS . . .

Amy’s Take:

For me “Blood Brothers” will forever be the episode that aired while I was en route to Las Vegas. I was so desperate to see it though, that I asked my friend who I was visiting to DVR it FOR me so I could sneak in a watch between all my various crazy Vegas shenanigans! I just COULD NOT wait 5 whole days to see how “As the Salvatores Turned” came out!

And it did not disappoint. This episode is full of angst, emotional torture, guilt, resentment, pain, and extra broodiness. It not only reveals the absolute core of the Salvatore’s relationship – but it has the added bonus of super hot Paul Wesley’s tank-topped shoulders, AND Paul Wesley pulling out a pretty extraordinary performance as a man who is is so tired and pained by the the choices he’s made that he’s ready to die for his own mistakes.

Early on in the episode, Stefan is brooding in his basement prison at La Casa de Rich and Awesome. He doesn’t seem mad that his brother and
girlfriend conspired to stab him with vervain and lock him up until he detoxes from his bloodlust. Mostly he just seems determined to do what he should have done 140 years before: die.

“After what I’ve done, it has to end. I just want it over”

When Elena relays Stefan’s mood to Damon, he scoffs with a dismissive, he’s just being dramatic….typical Stefan Martyr stuff which means
that not only has Stefan had previous bouts of “Martyr stuff”, but that Damon has been around to witness it and doesn’t take it at all seriously.

But Stefan is taking his martyrdom quite seriously this time – he’s not just upset with himself for falling off the wagon and lunching on Amber the Beauty Queen, he’s upset with himself for EVERY SINGLE DECISION HE’S MADE SINCE BECOMING A VAMPIRE. Just a century plus of guilt being carried on his (sexy, muscular) shoulders! He tells Elena, I’m making the decision I should have made years ago by letting himself starve to death (or later on possibly burn to death.)

This episode is so much about choices: how we make them, how they define us, how, our actions are what set things in motion, but we have to
live with that as Elena tells suicidal Stefan. Stefan did not have a choice to drink from Katherine – he was compelled to – so his LACK of choice – set everything after into motion. He chose (a bit reluctantly IMO compared w/ Damon’s resoluteness not to transition fully) not to become a vampire, but then his instincts when faced with his bleeding-to-death-dad caused him to make his first shameful choice: to drink and become a vampire.

Side note: Of all the terrible things we’ve seen/heard of Damon doing, I have to say watching Stefan accidentally kill, but then FEAST from his own DAD was for me, one of the more disturbing acts on this show.  Vampirism by Patricide – that’s pretty intense! It is also the very first “decision” of Stefan’s that will forever haunt him.

I fully echo Julie’s description of High-on-Blood-Stefan giving his best “come to the dark side” pitch to his horrified brother. This whole arc of Bloodaholic Stefan was so perfectly played by Paul.  He really IS an addict – it becomes clear that Damon drinks human blood because  he likes it – Stefan drinks it because he loves it – it erases everything that hurts him, …the guilt, the pain…I can turn it off!

I got the feeling watching this episode that Stefan was much more “the alpha” between the brothers during their human life.

“Oh Stefan, this is the best Hide and Seek Spot EVER!  They will never find us here . . .”

At the start, as he and Damon watch in horror as Katherine is carted away by the pitchfork wielding townsfolk – it is Stefan who comes up w/the plan to cause a distraction and directs Damon to go get Katherine.  As they attempt to rescue her, it is Stefan who is issuing Damon orders on getting her untied. And when it is time to transition or die – it is Stefan who comes, “gift” in hand (as it were) to show his brother how it’s done.

“You just put your lips together, and SUCK!” 

“Eww.”

The actual turning scene had me on the edge of my seat. For one thing – I’m pretty sure “Dinner” has been compelled by Stefan as she has that glassy-eyed stare and isn’t screaming or struggling.  So Stefan has already learned a nifty and dangerous vampire trick. Damon’s horror is visceral – you can see how repulsed he is by this offering and how freaked out he is that his brother has broken their vow and gone ahead with the transition. But a true hallmark of Bloodaholic Stefan is his desperation – he is DESPERATE for Damon to join him, to experience what he’s feeling, to not feel the pain of losing Katherine, to explore the “whole new world” that lays before them – together . . .

And there you have it, Fangbangers.  Part 1 of our 4 part series on the Evolution of Ripper Stefan . . .

Be sure to stop by Imaginary Men on Thursday for Part 2 . . . or else Damon will be very upset . . .

. . .  and Stefan might cry . . .

And we wouldn’t want THAT, would we?

[**** UPDATE:  PART 2 of this Series is NOW available! *****]

View it HERE!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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Love Means Never Having to Say, “I Drank Your Blood” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ Season 2 Finale “As I Lay Dying”

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ELENA:  “Mmmm . . . your face tastes good . . . like chocolate . . . and sex.  I’ve been waiting for TWO SEASONS to do this!”

DAMON: “Yes, Elena.  My mouth is heavenly, isn’t it?  You know what OTHER part of me is heavenly?  I’ll give you a hint, you’re leaning against it, right now.”

ELENA:  “Slow down, horndog!  Save something for the SEASON 3 FINALE!”

 Holy heck, Fangbangers!  Say what you will about the TVD writers, but they SURE do know how to end off a season with a bang . . . (and a bite . . . and a suck . . . and an “Aren’t you supposed to already be dead?”).  Perhaps, I should take a moment to remind you about the LAST SEASON FINALE . . .  Remember THIS?

. . . and THIS?

 . . . and THIS?

How about THIS?

As I was watching the Season 2 Finale, I kept thinking back on TVD’s FIRST season ender, and realizing what very different “creatures” these two episodes were.  While the Season 1 Finale, was all about nonstop action, chaos, and the creation of multiple cliffhangers . . .

 . . . the Season 2 Finale was quieter and slower moving, but, arguably, more thought provoking.  The way I see it, “As I Lay Dying,” was less about what actually HAPPENED during the episode, and more about HOW the things that happened reflected events of the show’s past, while foreshadowing its a VERY different future  . . .

Speaking of foreshadowing for the future, NEVER, in my whole history of television watching, has a season finale made me MORE excited for the show’s subsequent season, than THIS Season Finale did for TVD’s Season 3.  And no, I’m not just saying that because Season 3 promises to be the Year of Delena . . .

 . . . Dark Stefan . . .

and . . . “Damn, that Jeremy Gets Around!”

On second thought .  . . who am I kidding?  That’s EXACTLY why I’m saying it!

Well, we’ve got a heck of a lot to cover.  So, what do you say, we get started?

It’s Too Late to Apologize . . . Or Is It?

“Oh, come on, Elena!  How could you NOT forgive a face like this?  And really . . . I mean . . . when you think about it, what I did to you THIS time was no where NEAR as bad as the Jeremy Neck Snap Incident!”

We begin the episode with a closeup on Sad Elena.  She checks on a still-sleeping Jeremy, before taking an extremely maudlin journey into the Now-Dead Useless Aunt Jenna’s room, where the yummy stench of Alaric’s Chunky Monkey still hangs in the air, like a promise unfulfilled . . .

“Come on, Elena!  Don’t be sad!  Might I interest you in some Comfort Food?”

Then Damon magically appears . . .

“I think I’ll have some of that Comfort Food now, please.”

We, of course, know, by this point, that Damon believes his diagnosis of Were Rabies to be a death sentence.  But Elena doesn’t know about it yet.   And Damon plans to keep it that way. 

He comes to Elena begging for forgivness.  Like a terminal cancer patient receiving his last rights, Damon wants absolution for the sins he’s committed against the woman he loves most.  “Feeding you my blood,” he begins.  “It was wrong.”

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness UHHH YEAH YOU DO, especially considering the fact that she is NOT A VAMPIRE, and also NOT DEAD, because of YOU!, but I need it,” Damon explains.

I love how unassuming and quietly reserved Damon is, when he says these words.  As fans, we know EXACTLY how desperate Damon is for Elena to forgive him for what he has done, before he dies.  And yet, Damon carefully hides his desperation from Elena, not wanting to reveal to her his lethal secret.  If Elena is to forgive him now, Damon wants to be sure that she does it from her heart, and not because she feels forced to do so by Damon, or worse, does it out of pity.

“And I need some time . . . maybe a lot of time,” says Elena to the guy she THINKS will live forever. 

(Ahh, the benefits of hanging out with vampires.   You get to hold a grudge for a REALLY LONG TIME.  And they will probably still take you back, when you are finished with your YEARS of sulking . . . but only if you look like Nina Dobrev.)

“Take all the time you need,” fibs Damon dejectedly, already resigned to his fate. 

Damon even manages to give Elena a small wistful smile, as he leaves her home, while on the inside, we know that he is doing THIS . . .

A dejected Damon then stumbles back to La Casa de Rich and Awesome to pour himself, what he believes to be, his Last Breakfast of Bourbon and Tears . . .

“Oh, my dear, sweet liquor!  At least YOU will never let me down, by being a total brat to me, while I’m on my DEATH BED.”

Damon then takes off his shirt (YEAH!) rolls up his sleeve (DARN!) to examine his were bite.  I’m not going to lie.  It’s pretty darn fugly looking.  At this point, Damon sees the writing on the wall.  He knows that in less than a day, he’s going to start to go bonkers, and, if history is any indication, become a SUPER ANNOYING, DROOLING, MENACE TO MYSTIC FALLS, much like THIS GIRL was  . . .

Becoming Rabid Man Stealer Rose is a FATE WORSE THAN DEATH . . .

Not wanting this to happen to him, Damon removes his Sunscreen Ring and his shirt (COME ON, WRITERS!  WORK WITH ME HERE!), and walks toward his unusually-ornate-for-a-bachelor-pad stained-glass window (religious imagery much?),  while whiny contemplative chick music moans in the background (And, if THAT’S not enough to make you kill yourself, I don’t know what is!).

“Geez, I’m dying here!  Can’t I at least go out to the tune of something COOL . . . like Anberlin’s ‘Enjoy the Silence?'”

But just when Damon’s face starts to show signs of serious sun damage, OUT OF FRIGGIN NOWHERE, Stefan, that BAD ASS MO FO (And, really, how often do I describe Stefan in this way?) rushes onto the scene, tackle hugs his brother, and then pushes him against the wall, in one of the season’s Most Homoerotic Wall Slams EVER!

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“Kiss me, you fool!”

After he finishes wall-humping his hot older brother, Stefan tosses Damon into La Casa de Rich and Awesome’s Very Own, Correctional Institution for Wayward Vampires (past residents of said institution include the now-long-dead Zach Salvatore, Bloodaholic Stefan, and Rabid Rose) . . .

“I’ll be watching you, Damon . . . (so, don’t drop the soap)!”

Suddenly, having plenty of time on his hands, Damon takes this opportunity to get better acquainted with the hardwood floor that will be his home (and only true companion) for the duration . . .

“Hey babe!  What are YOU in for?”

But then Damon hacks up a whole boatload of blood all over said Floor, thereby shutting off any chance of a meaningful relationship between them.  And yet, just because Damon is dying from a terrible disease, destined to become Annoying Rose, and might never get laid again, doesn’t mean he can’t have a sense of humor about his  increasingly dire situation . . .

“Would it be too much to ask for a conjugal visit with your girlfriend?”

Damon wonders what’s going on in Prison Warden Stefan’s head.  “What’s the plan, Superman?”  He inquires dryly.

“Is that kryptonite in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Damon then suggests that Stefan “tell him goodbye, and get it over with.”  But Superman Stefan is not ready to bid his brother adieu.  He’s got a cure to find . . . and a witch to visit.

Meanwhile, in a random forest, there lies a shirtless Original Were Vamp . . . (Thank YOU!  At least SOMEONE understands the meaning of the phrase “clothing optional.”)

Hey, Look!  It’s Adam and Eve (if Adam was a vampire . . . and Eve was his brother . . . and instead of eating forbidden fruit, they ate HUMANS)!

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OMG!  That Crazy Brother F*&ker!  (Just so you know, what happens in the forest, STAYS in the forest.)

And you thought Damon and Stefan had SEXUAL TENSION?  These two brothers have NOTHING on Elijah and Klaus — two clearly bisexual (and incestual?) half-brother vampires, who have undoubtedly endured a MILLENNIUM of hating one another, while still wanting to jump eachother’s bones on a regular basis  . . .

Klaus, who’s been . . . umm . . . “not quite himself, lately”  . . .

 . . . asks his patiently waiting (and still perfectly coiffed, despite having spent days in the forest without a change of clothing, a shower, or indoor plumbing) brother for a recap of the past few days.  Elijah remarks with a bit of brotherly pride, that Klaus remained a wolf, even after the full moon, thus signifying that he can change at will.  Elijah then MAJORLY pisses off fans, by helping Klaus put his friggin clothing back on.  (LAME!)

The brothers eye f*&k a bit, as Elijah reminds Klaus that the latter promised to reunite him with the rest of his family, who, last we checked, were not-so-much buried at sea.  Klaus, echoing Elijah’s earlier in the season words to Elena, vows to keep his promise to his brother, despite the fact that Elijah . . . sort of/kind of tried to kill him.  “That’s OK,” offers Klaus, kindly.   “No ONE can kill me now . . . not even YOU.”

THIS . . . is becoming LESS AND LESS TRUE by the minute.  (But hey, at least he’ll always have that hair . . .)

Speaking of getting wrecked (bad transition?), back at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, our SECOND favorite Alchy (because DAMON is first, obviously) is busy getting blotto, having lost his SECOND SEXUAL PARTNER to vampiric death in the course of five episodes . . .

(Alaric is officially the NEW Jeremy . . .)

“Damon’s Dying . . . Please Help Him Get Sh*tfaced.”

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Is it just me, or does Alaric Saltzman get hotter with every episode?  Clearly, I have a thing for drunks (and chunky monkeys)?

 As Alaric stumbles off his bar stool, he gets a phone call from Stefan.  “I’m sorry, you’ve reached someone, who is currently not operating,” Alaric slurs.  (I swear, he sounds like Damon, more and more, every day!)

You know, with all that happened in last week’s episode, I totally forgot about Alaric’s Locked in the House by Bonnie’s Spell Thing.    That is until Stefan called Alaric, asking for help, and Alaric petulantly replied that he is “not allowed to help.  I am only allowed to sit back in the house, while my girlfriend gets sacrificed in some weird vampire ritual.”

“Awwww . . . man!  You’re still pissed at me about that?  Didn’t you get the ‘I’m sorry you were locked in the house by a witch’s spell, while your girlfriend was sacrificed by some weird vampire ritual’ roses and e-card I sent you?”

But Matt Davis is nothing if not a master in subtle changes in facial expression.  And when Stefan tells Alaric that Damon is dying, we immediately see all color drain from the poor guy’s face, and all stubborn anger leave his body.  Alaric has already lost his girlfriend.  He’ll be damned if he has to lose his BEST friend too.  “What do you need me to do?” He inquires solemnly.

Yes, my fellow fangbangers . .  . Team Bad Ass is back in action . . .

“You can’t die, Man!  Because I really need my wingman / drinking buddy back!”

But this wouldn’t be a season finale without a Random (and kind of stupid) Mystic Falls Event.  And this one is the Period Piece Picnic and Showing of Gone with the Wind in the Park . . .

 “You’re Aunt and Uncle /Father are dead.  My Mom wants to kill me.  So, let’s watch a movie, and make fun of people who are dressed like ASSH*LES.”

Elena and Jeremy are determined to regain some sense of normalcy in their lives.  (Well . . . Elena is . . . Jeremy’s just kind of moodily sulking, and looking all SAD HOT.)

“I need a hug.”

The mopey pair meet up with an almost unnervingly happy Caroline (Is that an “I just got laid” glow on your face, Vampire Barbie?) . . .

 . . . who believes that watching Gone with the Wind is just the thing this depressed duo needs to lift their spirits.   “The war is over.  Atlanta has burned.  Let’s move on!”  Caroline remarks cheerily.  (Oh, yeah!  She’s SO had sex, recently!)

Of course, watching Caroline perkily emote, I couldn’t help but wonder where TYLER was, during all this.

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn about period movies, or picnics, or stupid outfits . . .”

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“But I’d gladly dress like a Civil War Reenacting Reject for YOU, Caroline.”

Speaking of reenactments . . . I think it’s time for YET ANOTHER of Bonnie’s Witchy Spells, don’t you?  (No?  Well, unfortunately, you’re going to get one, anyway . . .)

In the words of Damon Salvatore, “Screw YOU, EMILY!”

I like you better when you are Maya from Pretty Little Liars . . .

Why is it that every time I see Bonnie, and her friggin candles, with her friggin eyes closed, mumbling gibberish, I get this terrible sense of deja vu?  It’s like the morning after a night of binge drinking, when, gradually, memories of the people you HUMILIATED yourself in front of rise unbidden to the surface of your mind.  That’s what these scenes feel like for me.  Maybe I would hate them less, if I didn’t have to see them EVERY SINGLE WEEK!

“Hey look!  There’s a spell in here that actually doesn’t involve filling an ENTIRE room with lit white candles.  Nahhh . . . too risky.”

Speaking of the candles, do you think Bonnie reuses the same ones for every spell, or just keeps buying new ones?  Because, if the latter is true, girlfriend should seriously consider buying stock in Yankee Candle, by now! 

Anywhoo, Stefan wants Bonnie to “summon the spirits” in order to see if any of them know of a werebite cure.  She closes her eyes, mumbles, candles flicker . . . blah, blah, blah, Witch Emergency, blah.  And all of the sudden Bonnie is “Emily,” which means she speaks in a slightly higher, but infinitely more haughty and obnoxious, voice.

“Woah, now she thinks she’s EMILY?  This B*tch is CRAZY!”

Stefan asks “Emily” about the cure for a werewolf bite.  But Emily, apparently, still has a big BUG up her ass about Damon, and doesn’t want to give up the intel. (I really never understood Emily’s DAMON hate.  I mean, didn’t he try to SAVE HER from being burned, so that she could help him find Katherine?  What gives, lady?)  “Emily” babbles on for WAY TOO LONG about the “balance of nature in the universe,” while I zone out for a bit, and have a Damon Sex Fantasy . . .

 . . . but then BONNIE wakes me up with her writhing in pain, and screaming.  (DAMN YOU, Bonnie!  I was having a good dream!)

“I’ve really gotta cut back on all the coke snorting I do  . . .”

Apparently, Emily isn’t the only witch with a Big Fat Bug up her ass.  The WHOLE Dead Coven seems to be collectively experiencing its Time of the Month.  They beat up on Bonnie, because they think she is “abusing their power.”  I think they all just need to get laid.  And, judging by the end of the episode . . . Jeremy may just be able to help them with that little problem, next season.

“Imma f*&k all you b*tches, REAL GOOD!”

Fortunately, the witches aren’t SO mad at Bonnie, that they aren’t willing to give her a little hint as to what she needs to do to save our Damon.  But since complete sentences just aren’t their style, they only give her a name, “Klaus.”

 Speaking of women on their periods . . .

Lizard Forbes gets her ASS handed to her by Mama Lockwood . . .

“This scene was supposed to make you feel bad for me.  But because I am an evil lizard / child killer, it fails, MISERABLY.”

I think this scene is completely random, and probably should have landed on the cutting room floor, in exchange for a Shirtless Damon scene. 

But since, I’m actually writing this recap in REAL TIME (i.e. watch a scene, press Pause, recap it, watch the next scene . . . wash, rinse, repeat) you have the joy of hearing me describe it, anyway. 

Mayor Lockwood is DONE being the sweet little lady who hosts charity events, and says kind things to Elena, and lends Elijah her house, and rejoices over her son’s return from Werewolf Camp, even though she is laid up in the hospital, following a “bad fall” down those Pesky Mansion Steps . . .

“That Damon Salvatore, sure is sexy!  Maybe I can hire him to come and give me a nice long sponge bath.”

Now, because the script requires it she is a kind-of-scary, Vampire-Hating Poopy Head .  . .

 . . . who thinks Lizard Forbes isn’t doing enough to remedy the “Vampire Situation” in Mystic Falls. 

Don’t get me wrong!  I LOVE seeing Lizard Forbes being abused by ANYONE willing to take on the job.  However, considering that everything concerning the “Vampire Emergency,” since Rose’s rabid rampage, has either been (1) explained away by natural means; (2) erased from the general public’s memory through compulsion; or (3) happened in secret (like John’s and Jenna’s deaths), I’m not really seeing Mama Lockwood’s sudden sense of immediacy here. 

Aside from that, the acting in this scene was just really, really, ridiculously, bad . . . Yeah, I went there.

Meanwhile, back at the picnic, with the people we ACTUALLY care about . . .

Blabbermouth Stefan Spills Yet Another One of Damon’s Secrets (SURPRISE!)

“Hey Elena!  It looks like it’s time for our Regularly Scheduled Moody, Yet Loving, Public Display of Affection.”

I’m going to say something here that might surprise you, given the DIEHARD Delena-ite I am.  As much as it bugs me that Stefan is COMPLETELY INCAPABLE of keeping ANY secrets whatsoever, I’m actually REALLY HAPPY that he ended up telling Elena about THIS secret. 

I know, crazy, right?

For one thing, it led to all the SUPER YUMMY Delena moments we were treated to, toward the end of the episode. 

The Delena ship has SET SAIL for Season 3!  And it’s going FULL STEAM AHEAD!

For another, I just feel like Elena had the right to know that one of the people she cares about most in the world was dying. Sure, as Damon gently brought up to Stefan, Elena ha certainly been through enough in her life these past few weeks, that she doesn’t need to mourn another loss right now.  But, honestly, if Damon died without Elena having made things right with him, I don’t think she ever would have forgiven herself for the cold way she treated him, at the beginning of the episode. 

“I had Damon in a BEDROOM  . . . in my HOUSE . . . and I turned him AWAY.  I am SUCH A FRIGGIN MORON!”

You can tell that this is the case, by the shocked, tearful, and genuinely heartbroken look on Elena’s face, when she first learns of Damon’s illness.  In some ways, Elena feels this diagnosis more than Stefan, because, unlike him, SHE witnessed it first hand with Rose.  (And where were YOU then, Mr. Salvatore?  Hanging out with EVIL ISOBEL, I presume!  Just sayin . . .) 

Also, given everything that’s gone down between Damon and Stefan, these past few episodes, the fact that Stefan actually ENCOURAGED Elena to go “comfort” Damon in his hour of need and give him hours and hours of hot Pre-Death Sex “hope,” was either the most generous thing he could have done, or the stupidest . . . I haven’t decided which, yet.  It made me VERY happy, though . . .

And yet, that happiness quickly sours, when we return to the Correctional Institution for Wayward Vampires, and learn that, Damon’s condition has already rapidly deteriorated.  Time is clearly running out for him . . .

Doppelganger Hijinks, a Super Sexy Hallucination, and the Possibility of a Twin Threesome.  (Now, that’s MY KIND OF SCENE!)

“I assume you’ve both been tested for STDs.  I really can’t afford another case of crabs painful disease.”

If you recall from “The Descent,” as Rose’s condition worsened, she broke further, and further from reality, repeatedly mistaking Elena from Katherine, and then attacking the poor innocent human, like the FREAKSHOW she was. 

Those of us who were concerned that Damon would end up doing the same thing, needn’t have worried.  Because unlike Rose, who HATED Katherine, Damon luuuuved her .  . well, at least he did in 1864.  So, when Damon starts hallucinating, it comes off less like a frightening psychotic episode, and more like free porn / a therapy session. 

Most of us had always assumed that Damon became a Civil War Deserter, back in 1864, because he disliked the regimented living of being in the army, and wasn’t comfortable with all the Yankee killing he’d have to do . . .

But, as it turns out, Damon’s reasons for going AWOL may have been a lot more simplistic than that. Back in 1864, we see that now-familiar sweetly polite, and almost tentative Damon, approach Katherine in her bedroom, as she “struggles” to undo her corset.  (AGAIN with the “Can you help me get naked routine?”  Seriously?  You would think that after all these years, girlfriend would have finally learned some new material . . .)

That being said, I must admit I was still turned on by the way Damon leaned in toward Katherine, gently massaging her shoulders and softly blowing on her neck, as she relaxed against him.  We hear Katherine actually TELL Damon that she loves BOTH him and Stefan, and that she can’t bear the thought of him leaving for war . . .

Then, his conscience, Elena, magically appears . . .

“Why can’t you remove MY clothing like that?”

“Elena” forces Damon– who had always laid the blame for what happened to him on Katherine (for manipulating his affections), and Stefan (for “forcing” him to go vamp) — to recognize the fact that he ultimately made the decisions that sealed his fate.  Knowing that Katherine was simultaneously making a play for BOTH Damon and Stefan, Damon STILL chose to defect from the Civil War, in order to be with her.  And it was that FIRST mistake Damon made, that ultimately led to everything that came after it . . .

It’s a profoundly enlightening moment for Damon.  It’s just too bad he has to be DYING OF WERE RABIES to experience it!

Speaking of that manipulative hot mess, Katherine, she’s still “stuck” at Alaric’s house, raiding his liquor cabinet, having been compelled by the still-living Klaus to stay there until “further notice.”

No wonder Alchy-Ric has to spend all his time alone at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls!  He’s probably completely out of booze, by now!

Oh my god, you killed Elijah!  (You BASTARD!)

“Again?  Seriously?  I’m getting too old for this sh*t!”

So, I thought Elijah was supposed to be this Big Bad Ass!  Since when did he become the TVD version of Kenny from South Park?  Seriously, this is Elijah’s THIRD staking, in HOW many episodes?  Dude oughta seriously consider upping his accident insurance premiums!

“Fear me, for I am the Grim Reaper . . . of myself.”

When Stefan arrives at Alaric’s apartment (I guess Alaric must have invited him in, at some point?), Katherine is WAY pissed about this whole “still being under compulsion” thing.  But she’s not too pissed to give her ex-boyfriend an old Wall Slam for old time’s sake . . .

This Moment is interrupted by the return of Klaus and Elijah.  Not having time for pleasantries, Stefan wants Klaus to give him the cure for Damon’s were bite, but Klaus has “other matters” to tend to first.  Remember how Klaus promised Elijah he would “reunite him with his family”?  And remember how Klaus STAKED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY?  Yeah, Elijah may be hot, but apparently, he’s not a real whiz when it comes to reading comprehension.  So, of course, Klaus STAKES HIS OWN BROTHER, just as Elijah SHOULD have staked Klaus last week, but couldn’t.

Now, I’d mourn Elijah’s death, if I hadn’t already done so twice before.  Rest assured folks, this guy will LIVE to DIE AGAIN!  No wonder Katherine looked so completely BORED, during the staking . . .

“Things I’d rather be doing than watching Klaus stake Elijah:

(1) wall sex with Stefan

(2) floor sex with Damon

(3) freaky Doppelganger sex with Elena

(4) drunken couch sex with Alaric

(5) dancing

(6) washing my hair

(7) cleaning Alaric’s skanky man cave bathroom with a toothbrush”

Now, Katherine might be bored to tears, but Stefan is frightened / grudgingly impressed with his nemesis.  And Klaus, well, Klaus is just plain turned on.  He starts leering at Stefan and getting all up in his personal space, like he wants to eat the vamp’s weiner for lunch.

“So, Stefan, tell me.  What’s your sign?”

Then, Klaus stakes Stefan somewhere in the vicinity of his heart.  But, honestly, I feel like the gesture was more of a ploy to get the sexy ab-tastic vampire to lean into him, so Klaus could whisper sweet nothings in his ear. 

Klaus-y LIKE!

I mean, Joseph Morgan was literally WHISPERING CREEPILY the entire episode.  I don’t know how he did it for so long, without losing his voice entirely.  I mean, that’s impressive!

Now, it’s Katherine’s turn to kick up the energy a notch.  “He’s just trying to save his brother,” Katherine pleads, a look of concern in her eyes.  (Awww!  She might actually really CARE!  Who knew?)  But STEFAN, who’s still got a BIG FAT STAKE in his CHEST, seems unimpressed by Klaus’s bizarre S&M attempts to hit on him.  “Yeah, whatever, drag that stake around my innards.  I’ve been here before,” Stefan seems to be saying, “Just tell me how to save Damon.”

But then . . . Stefan utters three words that he will probably live to regret for the remainder of the Third Season, “I’ll . . . Do . . . Anything . .  .”

“Anything?”

Oh, Steffy, you are in TROUBLE NOW!

Speaking of trouble . . .

Team Bad Ass:  Reunited and it feels so . . . (Wait, what just happened?)

“Trap me in your house, and allow my girlfriend to die?  No biggie!  Turn my wife into a vampire?  That’s OK!  Call me, Elena, and try to compel me to KILL my favorite drinking buddy?  You are so going to PAY for that one, Damon!”

You know, with all the SERIOUS bonding we’ve experienced between Damon and Alaric during the course of the past two seasons, it’s easy to forget that these two guys HATED eachother, when they first met.  Actually . . . Alaric hated DAMON, for what Damon did to his wife.  And Damon . . . well . . . he didn’t really give two craps about Alaric . . .

But things have changed now.  And when Alaric comes to visit Damon at the Correctional Institution for Wayward Vampires, the bromantic chemistry between the two is palpable.  Having maintained a false sense of strength and bravado in front of Elena and Stefan, to protect their psyches, it’s ALARIC to whom Damon finally admits just how much pain he’s in.  “Do I look awful?  Because I feel ten times worse,” groans Damon.

In return for his honesty, Alaric rewards Damon with just what he needs, his Sunscreen Ring (a poignant reminder of Damon’s suicide attempt from earlier in the episode), and, of course, a shot of Bourbon.  Unfortunately, for Alaric, Damon still seems intent on dying.  And if he can’t do it by “meeting the sun,” he’s going to try to accomplish it another way.  First, he taunts Alaric, by playing the “Dead Girlfriend” card.

“You probably want to kill me.  It’s my fault Jenna is dead,” Damon offers.

Useless Aunt Jenna strikes again .  . .

“I don’t blame you for what happened to Jenna,” Alaric replies (But the pain in his eyes, tells a bit of a different story).

Damon then brings up Isobel, which affects Alaric even more.  But still, no Death Card for Damon.  “We are not drunk enough to be having this conversation,” suggests Alaric.  (Translation:  LET”S GET DRUNKER!)

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But Damon has more tricks up his sleeve.  He aggressively lunges at Alaric through the bars, hoping that it will anger Alaric enough to get a response.  It does, and Alaric grabs Damon by his neck, through the metal bars.  Desperate and in pain, Damon attempts to lock eyes with Alaric and compel his friend to kill him. 

Seeing Damon so weak, and so willing to die, is hard to watch for us fans.  So, it must be TORTURE for Alaric.  Plus, Alaric’s also a little pissed about the whole Compulsion / Suicide by Proxy thing.  So, we can’t really blame Alaric for stabbing Damon roughly in the shoulder with his pocket knife.

 “I wasn’t expecting THAT!”

“Screw YOU, Damon!” A hurt Alaric replies, as Damon groans and drops to the floor. 

Then something interesting happens.  We see Elena rushing toward La Casa de Rich and Awesome.  And, as if sensing her presence, Damon calls out her name.  “Elena’s not here, Damon,” Alaric replies to a prone on the floor Damon, who is desperately begging for blood.  Except SHE IS!


Lizard Forbes gets taken DOWN!  (BOOYAH!)  But lives to tell the tale.  (LAME!)

“Umm . . . do you have a search warrant, Missy?”

You know how vampires can’t enter a house, unless they’ve explicitly been invited inside?  Don’t you wish they had something like that to keep out annoying bumbling cops?  Damon does!  Seconds before Elena can open the front door to La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Lizard grabs her and pulls her aside.  She has ILLEGAL business to finish. 

So, Lizard and her NEW police boy (because Caroline ATE the old one) barge into Damon’s place, pass by Alaric in the cellar, and STUPIDLY lock themselves inside the room with the were-bitten Damon. 

Once, on the floor, and half dead, Damon is, suddenly, miraculously alive, well, and able to CRUSH LIZARD FORBES INTO THE WALL!

“Hi Liz,” Damon says, conversationally.

“Bye Liz,” I say . . . hopefully.

Then, because DUMB ASS KEYSTONE COP LIZARD OPENED THE DOOR TO HIS CELL, Were Rabies Damon escapes to find Elena, just as Were Rabies Rose escaped to . . . eat random people . . . in The Descent.  Alaric calls Jeremy hoping that he’s with Elena, and warning him to be on the lookout.  Of course, WE KNOW that Elena is RIGHT OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.

Concerned for the health of both his sister and Damon, Jeremy leaves the picnic (where, all of the sudden, it’s night time, and pitch dark outside?  When did that happen?) to go find them.  Bonnie . .  . being Bonnie . . . suggests that Jeremy just let Damon die and /or possibly hurt Elena in a were-rabies rage.  REALLY BONNIE?  After all Elena sacrificed to keep YOU alive?

“What . . . the . . . f*ck?”

So, of course, I was REALLY happy, when Jeremy finally grew some balls, and called Bonnie out for repeatedly trying to neuter him and keep him out of trouble.  She continues to do this, even though, despite her best efforts, Jeremy seems to keep ending up in danger ANYWAY, and his friends and family just keep on croaking.

“You TELL HER, Sexy Jer!”

Then again, considering what ends up happening to JEREMY next, Judgy, Boyfriend-Neutering Bonnie may have actually been right . . . THIS TIME.

“Gotta Love Mother Nature!”

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Oh, man!  Will you two just get a room already!  Just by watching you two on my television screen hitting on eachother like you are, I am at risk for pregnancy . . .

Interesting point of fact:  Klaus has been stalking Stefan for decades.  He’s taken a REAL interest in the younger Salvatore Brother.  Apparently, Stefan has sexual talents that Klaus finds erotic useful.  Apparently, at some point in 1917, Stefan MURDERED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE OF INNOCENT HUMANS, just because he COULD . . .

Well, Damon may not have killed an entire village, but he’s screwed an entire sorority!  And that’s gotta count for something!

Klaus’ “little anecdote” about Stefan’s past, actually raises a continuity issue for me.  Remember “Crying Wolf,” where Stefan told this story about how he was this Big Bad Vampire for like three days in 1864?  But then he found Lexi . ..  who taught him about the importance of LOVE . . .  so, he “went clean?”

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

Well . . . either LOVE and Lexi couldn’t keep Stefan from having a few bloodaholic relapses, between now, and present day, or the TVD writers up and changed their mind about how pervasive Dark Stefan was in the proverbial history books . . .  Either way, this is canon now. 

Bloodaholic Stefan is apparently Klaus’ HERO!  And Klaus would very much like Dark Stefan on Team Evil Were-Vamp.  (After all, the “death” of Elijah, has provided a recent opening for the position.)

Just to show he’s serious, Klaus WERE-BITES Katherine, and then feeds her his blood, promptly curing the werewolf bite, as if it was never there.  “You wanted a cure, there it is.  I’m your cure.  Gotta love Mother Nature,” Klaus coos, clearly impressed with himself.

That’s all well and good.  But, of course, the question is NOT what Klaus can do for you, Stefan, but what YOU can do for Klaus.

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Stefan Salvatore:  Sex Slave Extraordinaire

You SHOT JEREMY!  YOU LIZARD!

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“Nice one, Lizard!  Maybe you should have had MATT DONOVAN do your shooting for you!  At least HE knows how to use a gun!  Loser!”

(Wow .  . . Lizard made me so mad that she got me to say something sort of NICE about Matt . . . Weird.)

So Damon is wandering about Mystic Falls, hacking and coughing all over innocent bystanders.  (I hope were-rabies isn’t contagious!)  Jeremy finds him, and carries the poor sickly bastard to the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls.  (How appropriate!) Meanwhile, Elena confronts Lizard at the police station.  But the Lizard tries to keep Elena “safe” at the station, while she heads off to save the world from rabid vampires Jeremy.  So, Elena, who’s become SUPER KICK ASS this season, takes matters into her own hands. 

Free Elena!  (Public property be DAMNED!)

Things start happening pretty fast at this point.  Lizard rushes the bar, and sees Jeremy carrying a sickly Damon.  So Lizard, being the “careful” and “well trained” cop she is, just randomly fires out at the duo, as Damon rushes forward.  She hits JEREMY, and he falls to the floor!

Jeremy is wearing his RING OF IMMORTALITY, but it doesn’t work, because the b*tch who shot him is a sorry excuse for a  human!

Then Caroline and Bonnie rush forward.  And Caroline attempts to feed Jeremy her blood, which, if he was still partially alive, would make him a vampire, but at least keep him from final death.  But Jeremy doesn’t drink the blood, because he is already DEAD-DEAD!

But WAIT . . . here comes BONNIE and her NOSEBLEEDS! 

After convincing Lizard to let Alaric move Jeremy’s body out of the “crime scene,” (SERIOUSLY?  Now, is when she decides to be a stickler for the rules?)  Bonnie emotionally evokes the witchy spirits for the 80,00oth time this season.  They are tired hearing her yap.  And, maybe it’s just me, but I think they are out for revenge.  So, when Bonnie tells Emily, how much she LOOOOOOOOVES Jeremy and NEEEEDS him to be alive, Emily and the Team Witch grant her wish.  Jeremy gets to live . . .

Bonnie genuinely smiles and laughs for the first time . . . I think since the pilot episode.  She strokes Jeremy’s forehead, as he comes back to life, and for exactly two seconds I am Jonnie fan.

Tyler is pleased . . . (See Cherie, I make random Tyler references too!)

Oh, but before you get too excited, Jonnie fans . .  . There’s a catch. 😉

Shortly thereafter . . .

“Don’t hate me, because I’m a vampire.  I don’t hate YOU because you are an Evil Lizard!”

Lizard is relieved when Caroline informs her that Jeremy is not-so-much dead anymore.  (No thanks to LIZARD!)  Caroline finally comes clean to her mother, about the fact that she’s an out-and-proud vampire, but that doesn’t make her a bad person like her mother.  Caroline explains to Lizard, that she used to be afraid of her because the woman can’t SHOOT FOR SH*T.  And that’s why she compelled her to forget all those Supernatural Cliff Notes she gave her, a few episodes back. 

But Caroline isn’t afraid of Lizard anymore.  “And you shouldn’t be afraid of me either, Mom,” explains Caroline.  “I’m still your little girl.”

Lizard and Caroline share a good cry, and hug one another. 

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And I’m happy for Caroline that she doesn’t have to live in secret anymore, or worry that her mom is going to shoot her in her sleep.  (Though, let’s face it, if Lizard TRIED to shoot Caroline, she’d probably miss and end up shooting herself.  WIN!  WIN!)  But I can’t soften my stance on the woman who SHOT JEREMY, schemed against her own daughter, and tried to “sell her up the river,” because of a transformation that happened TO HER, one over which she, unlike Damon, had no control, or choice.  That’s just how I roll . . .

I guess, when it comes to Lizard Forbes, for me, anyway, old habits die hard.  Speaking of old habits . . .

“Thank you, sir!  May I have another!”

You KNOW a drink is tasty, when drinking it causes you to cross your eyes in ecstasy!

So, Klaus finally reveals his GRAND PLANS for Stefan: a life spent in servitude and wingman-dom.  But Klaus doesn’t want GOOD Stefan frolicking in the forest with him.  He’d much prefer Dark Stefan.  (Because, let’s face it, Dark Stefan is WAY sexier!) 

Initially, Stefan declines the offer.  But, because he really wants to save Damon, he ultimately relents.  I mean, how bad could it be drinking a teensy bit of blood?  After all, Stefan has built up a tolerance, right?

WRONG!  All of the sudden Alaric’s house, appropriately enough, becomes a BINGE DRINKING FRAT PARTY NIGHTMARE, with Klaus naughtily egging Stefan on, as he chugs, blood bag, after blood bag.  Stefan’s eyes  aregetting shiftier and shiftier, as the drinks keep on coming.  You can almost feel Good Stefan slipping away, and Dark Stefan taking his place.  After all, we all know what happened the LAST time Stefan went on a bender like this . . .

Once Stefan has satisfied Klaus’ Fraternity Hazing Ritual, and has agreed to follow the Original Douche into EVIL ETERNITY, Klaus relents and gives up a vial of his blood to cure Damon.  The catch?  He gives it to KATHERINE, who he finally frees from the captivity of Alaric’s house to dispense the cure.  The problem of course, is that there is no guarantee that Katherine will get there in time, or, if left to her own devices, she will get there AT ALL . . .

Will Damon end up regretting these words?

Damon Salvatore might not be the only person who wishes he had bitten his tongue.  (Or, at least, attached a headset to his computer, before Skyping with his girlfriend).

“And the Day after that . .  . And the Day after that . . .”

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So . . . remember back during the first Season, when Jeremy used to do emo, Bella Swan-esque, things, like look up “vampires” on the internet?

“I want to find out about vampires, and all I get are badly photoshopped naked pictures of Robert Pattinson.  What gives, man?”

Do you also remember that AWFULLY cheesy scene at the end of “The Last Dance,” where Jeremy brought his computer down to Bonnie’s fake grave,so that she and Elena could Skype?  Well, today, TVD brilliantly decided to self-reference it’s own cheesiness TWICE in one single scene, by (1) having Jeremy do a Bing search for, cleverly enough “back from the dead.”  While he is doing THIS (2) Bonnie interrupts him on Skype to ask him “How he’s feeling?”

“I feel like I’ve been shot in the chest by a Lizard, and brought back to life, by a vampire, an alcoholic and a witch.  But, other than that, just peachy!”

Jeremy, never one for big speeches, can’t express enough gratitude to his girlfriend for giving up so many pints of snot and noseblood on his behalf.  “Oh, that’s OK,” coos Bonnie, in a very un-Bonnielike way.  “You can thank me tomorrow . . . and the day after that . . . and the day after that . . .”

Then Alaric magically appears, with a little smirk on his face, that only Alaric can make.  He’s planning to go home, but something (like the fact that Jeremy is a MINOR, who is constantly getting KILLED and beaten up) convinces him to stick around.  Marble Mouth Jeremy doesn’t know how to thank ALARIC for being his new Drunken, but still awesome, Dad either.  “That’s OK,” Alaric coos, hilariously.  “You can thank me tomorrow .  . and the day after that .  . . and the day after that.”

I love how Alaric came back to the door, to give Jeremy one final “and the day after that,” even AFTER Jeremy threw a pillow at his head.  Now, that’s a Fun Daddy!  Happy Early Father’s Day, Alaric!

But Alaric’s not only going to have to assume a parental role over Jeremy.  There is also Elena to consider.  And ELENA might be in a bit of trouble . . . HEART trouble that is! 😉

Elena Rescues Damon . . . and his LIPS!

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There are no words to describe how happy this image makes me!

We see Elena rushing out into the Mystic Falls movie-watching crowd, when she hears a voice behind her.  It’s Damon.  He calls out to her.  And she grabs a hold of him, fully prepared to hide him from the Lizard she assumes is still on his warpath .  . .

The problem is that Damon is losing his grip on reality.  As a result, he is remembering the day he made the choice he would spend an eternity regretting.  This, of course, was the day he decided to drink Katherine’s blood.  This way, when he died, he could become a vampire and (so he thought) be with her forever.

Immortality, here I come!

Though Damon had always assured Stefan that, unlike with HIM, Katherine NEVER compelled Damon, there was always a part of the fan contingency, who inferred that, because we had SEEN Katherine compel Damon at least once, that she had sneakily fed him blood as well.  But this was not the case.  In fact, Katherine explicitly required that Damon make the CHOICE to become a vampire.  “If you want my blood, you have to take it,” she said, seductively pointing at her neck.

Meanwhile, back in the REAL WORLD, THIS is happening . . .

“You don’t have to do this, Damon!”  Elena yelps, helplessly, as a delirious Damon clutches her shoulders and learns toward her neck.

It is almost as if Elena is speaking to 1864 Damon, and forcing him to take responsibility for his actions, all those years ago.  But Damon is too far gone to realize what is happening.  At this point, he doesn’t see Elena at all . . . only Katherine.  “I choose YOU, Katherine,” Damon says, eerily echoing the words he said to Elena, back in “The Last Dance.”

And then, he leans forward and BITES ELENA, just as he bit Katherine in the past.  The minute that blood hit Damon’s system, back in 1864, his fate was already sealed.  It’s Elena’s cries of anguish that ultimately bring Damon back to himself.

Realizing what he has done to the woman he loves, causes Damon so much internal pain, that he falls to the ground in anguish.  Still clutching her now-bloody neck, Elena helps Damon up and carries him back to La Casa de Rich and Awesome, just as he did for HER last week .  . .

Back in Damon’s bedroom . . . (We always end up back there, don’t we? ;)), Elena comforts Damon during what she believes will be the last moments of his life, just as Damon comforted Rose during HERS.  Damon tells Elena that he recognizes that the choices he made during his life, have brought him to this moment in bed, being cuddled by Elena!!!.  He realizes that it was HIS OWN choices that led to him becoming a vampire, and “going bad” for a period of time.  Katherine didn’t do this to him, nor did Stefan.  

Damon looks up at Elena with wide innocent eyes, and tells her to tell Stefan he is sorry.  Elena doesn’t mince words with Damon, by telling him that he can apologize to Stefan in person, because he is going to live.  She just tearfully nods, and hugs Damon ever closer to her, stroking his head calmingly, as he slowly slips out of consciousness.

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But of course, of all of the Delena exchanges that came out of this episode, it was THIS ONE, in which Damon FINALLY told Elena that he loved her AGAIN, and DID NOT COMPEL HER TO FORGET IT, that made me squeal like the crazy fangirl I am.

Two things I’ve been waiting to see ALL SEASON, and they BOTH happened in this one exchange!  (Number 1) I’ve always wanted to hear Elena tell Damon, that she loves and accepts him for exactly who he is . . . flaws and all.  In all the time Elena has known Damon, she has NEVER admitted this to him.  Always, Elena told Damon that he had “goodness” in him, that he wasn’t showing . . . that he “didn’t have to be this way” .  .  and that he should, “be the better man.” 

But when push came to shove, and Damon suggested that she would like him better in 1864, back when he was more like Stefan, she explicitly denied that this was the case.  “I like you just the way you are,” she told him.

Hear THAT?  She LOOOOOOVEEEEESSS likes him JUST THE WAY HE IS!  Awww yeah! 

And I think it was that admission on Elena’s part that finally gave Damon the courage to admit that he loved her.  (And THERE’S NUMBER 2!)  Just like his first admission, this one was completely unselfish.  Damon wasn’t trying to get Elena to STOP loving Stefan, or to NOT choose Stefan.  He merely felt that Elena had the right to know that someone she cared deeply about loved her more than life itself. 

So, of course, that prompted Elena to PLANT A NICE WET KISS ON DAMON’S SEXY WET LIPS!

This was the REAL DEAL . . . the Delena kiss we’ve been waiting for ever since the FAKE one that Katherine, posing as Elena, planted on Damon, in the final moments of the Season 1 Finale.  And a lot of naysayers called it a Pity Kiss.  But I call them WRONG! 

You know how I KNOW it wasn’t a pity kiss?  Because Damon was UNCONSCIOUS, when she started it!  Yes, boys and girls, Elena wanted to kiss Damon, EVEN IF HE WASN’T AWAKE FOR IT!  Such are her feelings of tenderness toward this vampire. 

Of course, Damon DID awaken during that kiss.  And he accepted it with a slight, but sweet, pucker of his own lips, and a smile on his face.  “Thank you,” Damon said to Elena, perhaps, wondering himself, whether this was a Pity Kiss.  But we, of course,  know better.  😉

And, as it turns out, so does Katherine, who arrived at just that moment with the WERE-BITE CURE!

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Elena — who looks a bit nonplussed at being caught in such a compromising position by Katherine, of all people — moves quickly from the bed, to let her Doppelganger to “her thang.”  (Note:  Elena is also probably wondering who actually invited Katherine IN to the house.  After all, it’s changed ownership, since Katherine last resided there.  No matter.  What’s a little continuity amongst hot friends?  Right?)

The fact that Katherine came to “rescue” Damon, of her own free will, does not go unnoticed by Damon.  “You got free .  . . and you still came,” remarks the vampire, as he gratefully sips Klaus’ blood.

“I owed you one,” replied Katherine. 

But Katherine’s not exactly a Gal of Honor.  So, we have to figure she actually cared enough about Damon’s life to rescue him.  Who knows?  Maybe there’s a little soul in that gal yet?

Speaking of souls?  Elena’s wondering about Stefan’s.  Kat showed herself to be a Delena fan at heart when she uttered, THIS classic line . . .

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Just as Alaric DIDN’T miss that cheeseball Skype exchange between Jeremy and Bonnie, Katherine CLEARLY did not miss the intense looks shared by Damon and Elena on Damon’s BED, when she arrived.  Katherine fills Damon and Elena in on Stefan’s deal with Klaus, making sure to add insult to injury, by telling Elena, “He sacrificed everything to save his brother . . . even you.”

Ever the hopeful one, Elena texts Stefan to tell him that Damon is OK.  But Stefan is occupied by his Homoerotic Chugging Olympics with Klaus, and is nonresponsive.  “At least you have Damon, now,” Kat notes.  (TRUE!  THAT’S TRUE!  THANKS KAT!  YOU”RE THE BEST DELENA FAN EVER!)

But Kat’s not done spreading “joy” and advice to Elena .  . .

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Astute TVD fans will recall that THIS was the line that ROSE was supposed to utter to Elena, back when SHE was dying of Were Rabies during “The Descent.”  At the time, us Delena fans were ANNOYED that this excellent line was removed from the script.  Of course, now that I think about it, it makes A LOT more sense coming from Katherine.  Good CHOICE, TVD WRITERS!

Delena Happiness aside, Damon and Elena look EXTREMELY CONCERNED for Stefan’s well being after Katherine exits the bedroom stage left.  And, as it turns out, they have good reason to be frightened for his SOUL . . .

History Repeating

I wonder if Elijah needed a mortitian, or if his suit came perfectly pressed, and hair perfectly coiffed from the floor to the grave . . Knowing Elijah, I suspect the latter.

After Klaus creepily instructs one of his minions to store Elijah “with the OTHERS,” he turns his attention back to his Super Man Crush Stefan.  It seems Stefan is DONE with Mystic Falls, and wants to get this whole Eternity as Klaus’ Sex Slave thing over with.  But there’s one problem, Stefan while significantly DARKER than he was about 10 blood bags ago, is not DARK ENOUGH for Klaus’ taste.  For that, Stefan needs to consume HUMAN BLOOD . .  . RIGHT FROM THE HUMAN.

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In a move that is OBVIOUSLY meant to be symbolic of the moment when Stefan ultimately enticed Damon to drink human blood, thereby completing his vampire transition (Stalker much, Klaus?), Klaus offers Stefan a HUMAN SACRIFICE of sorts, symbolizing his completion of the transition from Good Stefan to Dark Stefan.  (Of course, it’s female.  The only male Klaus wants Stefan to bite is KLAUS, if you catch my drift.) 

Unable to resist any longer, Stefan willingly accepts the Sacrifice, and bites into her, as if she’s a yummy piece of chocolate.  The chewing sounds he makes when he does this, are, admittedly pretty gross.  (Hasn’t anybody ever taught you to chew human’s with your mouth closed Stefan?)  The scene ends with Stefan and Klaus hungrily eye f*&king as only two Bad Ass Vampires of Questionable Sexual Preference can . ..

Speaking of the promise of FUTURE SEXUAL ACTIVITY . . .

Jeremy Sees Dead People . . . and Immediately Wants to Sex with Them

Steven R. McQueen:  “Best . . . future storyline . . . EVER!”

Remember when I told you that there was a CATCH for Bonnie to be able to bring Jeremy back from the dead.  Well . .  . here it comes . . . In a moment that EITHER harkens back to that AWESOME Bruce Willis / Haley Joe Osment movie, “The Sixth Sense” . . .

“I see dead hot chicks.”

 . . . or that AWFUL Matt McMconauhey Movie, “Ghosts of Girlfriends’ Past” . . .

 . .  . Jeremy senses EYES on him, while he’s sleeping, and tiptoes downstairs to investigate.  Creepily enough, us viewers notice that he is being FOLLOWED . . .

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I’ll admit this scene made me jump.  And, of course, WHO COULD HAVE POSSIBLY expected the Season 2 finale of TVD to truly end with Jeremy confronted on ONE SIDE, by his Dead Vampire Girlfriend Anna, and on the OTHER SIDE, his OTHER Dead Vampire Girlfriend Vicki?  We can suspect that their presence was brought on by Bonnie’s spell.  Namely, to get Bonnie back for overusing their powers, the witches decided to test Bonnie’s LOVE for Jeremy, by bringing back his FIRST two loves. 

The question though . . . is what ARE THEY?   Are they ghosts?  Humans, brought back from the dead, like Jeremy?  Vampires?  Zombie?  Hallucinations?  Of course, whatever they are, the possibilities for these fan favorite characters’ return are ENDLESS.  For example,  will we get to see more Jeremy and Anna hand-gasming, for example?

Or (all fingers crossed) another Damon/ Vicki Dance?

Something tells me that Elena is not going to let this one happen again.  And, as much as I LOVE this scene, I love Delena MORE!

And what about BONNIE?  What is she going to say about this tomorrow . . . and the day after that .  . . and the day after that . . .

Die, VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND STEALING ZOMBIES!

I suspect we will all have to wait until September to find out the answer to these BURNING questions.  If I SURVIVE that long!  A world without TVD is not a world I want to live in, that’s for sure!

I need a HUG, fellow fangirls and fanboys!

P.S.  Hi gang!  You may notice that the bottom of this post says, Comments are Closed.  I didn’t do this.  And I’m not sure how it happened.  But it’s not intentional, I promise you!  If you’d like to comment, before I get this issue fixed, please feel free to leave your comment on the blog entry following this one, relating to the TVD finale liveblog.   I will definitely respond to you, from there.  Sorry for any inconvenice or confusion this may have caused you! 😦

[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever]

Comments Off on Love Means Never Having to Say, “I Drank Your Blood” – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ Season 2 Finale “As I Lay Dying”

Filed under The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire Diaries Season 2 Finale – We are Liveblogging It!

ELENA:  “Damon, those girls are watching us again . . .”

DAMON: “Just pretend you don’t see them.   Maybe they will take the hint, and GO AWAY . .  .”

ELENA: “Hmmmm . . . try taking off your shirt.”

DAMON:  “Elena!  What makes you think my taking off my shirt will make them GO AWAY?”

ELENA:  “It probably won’t.  I’d just really like for you to take off your shirt . . .”

DAMON:  *grumbles*  “Fine!”

DAMON:  “Are you happy, now?”

The last time my pals (Amy, over at Imaginary Men, and Cherie, over at My Spidey Sense is Tingling) and I live blogged The Vampire Diaries was during the twelfth episode of Season 2, entitled “The Descent.”  If you recall, THAT was the episode in which that MAN STEALER, Vampire Rose, got Were-Rabies, and wandered around the entire hour, looking like THIS . . .

. . . and like THIS . . .

. . . and, occasionally, like THIS . . .

So, it’s probably fitting that our NEXT Live Blog installment should cover “As I Lay Dying,” the episode in which DAMON gets Were-Rabies . . .

The obvious difference, of course, is that while I HATED Rose with a passion, I LOVE my Damon Salvatore to pieces!  So, this, undoubtedly, will be a very difficult time for me . . .

And yet, like Damon Salvatore, I prefer to cover up my sadness and fear with a healthy a dose of snark . . .

.  . . some laughter . . .

Happiness is a warm (and dancing) Delena . . .

. . .  and, hopefully, a whole boatload of NAKED . . .

 

 

(Well . . .  not MY NAKED, of course . . . but HIS NAKED!)

All things considered, I actually think this upcoming Live Blog will be the PERFECT medicine for what ails me.  Don’t you?

What’s a LiveBlog, you ask?  Well, it’s kind of like a chat room where you can talk (well, more accurately, “type”) about “As I Lay Dying” with other fabulous fangirls (and boys), like yourself, while the show is airing.  Or, if you’re shy, just read along.  And let US do the work for you!

  In addition to covering the play-by-play of the episode, and repeatedly cooing over the hotness of the show’s cast  (Comments like “OMG!  HE IS SO GORGEOUS!” are, of course, inevitable, in these types of forums, and TOTALLY welcome!), Amy, Cherie and I will also be regaling you with screenshots from the episode, hot photos of the cast, and fun live polls, in which can take part. 

TYLER: *reads*  “Who’s the hottest character on The Vampire Diaries?  I’m going to go with choice “C,” Tyler!”

CAROLINE:  “Hmmmm . . . what are the other choices?”

TYLER:  “Hey!  Don’t make me BITE YOU!”

Of course, if you miss the LiveBlog, and want to check it out after the episode airs, you can do that too!  Here’s an example of a LiveBlog we did back in January, for the show’s mid-season premiere.

(Oh, and just a quick note, because we had some confusion last year.  A LiveBlog is not the same thing as a LiveStream.  Unfortunately, the technology we have available to us from CoverItLive does not allow us to stream the episode to other viewers, over the internet.  It provides ”chat” services only.  There are a number of other websites that will stream the episode for you, of course.  However, us fangirls don’t have the resources – or the necessary legal approval – to offer you that particular service.  Sorry, in advance!)

So, if you are up for celebrating The Vampire Diaries’ Season 2 Finale with a bunch of crazy fangirl bloggers, who share a love of  both snarky commentary and shirtless vampires . . .

CLICK HERE at 8 p.m. on Thursday, May 12th! 

Until then, feel free to watch (and rewatch, and rewatch . . .) this extended preview for the Season 2 Finale of The Vampire Diaries . . .

. . . and here’s a Super Secret and Very Sexy Webclip from the episode, (Hot Captive Damon, anyone?)

See you soon, My Fellow Fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

 

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Filed under Live Blogging Event, The Vampire Diaries

The Vampire Diaries has FINALLY returned! Let’s celebrate with a LIVEBLOG!

It’s been a loooooooooong time, since The Vampire Diaries last graced our television screens . . .

Not quite 145 years .  . . but it sure felt like that long!

We have waited patiently . . .

(Admittedly, some of us may have been more patient than others .  . .)

And FINALLY our patience (or lack thereof) has been rewarded.  Because the wait is over, Fangbangers!  As for those Sexy Salvatore Brothers, well . . . THEY’RE BAAAAAAACK!

As you ALL probably know, The Vampire Diaries’ “The Descent” premieres January 27th at 8 p.m. on the CW.  The question is, how do YOU plan to celebrate?

Will you DANCE?

Or, perhaps, have a few drinks?

Do you plan on getting laid that night?

Maybe, you will get to do a ALL OF THE ABOVE!  (You lucky DOG, you!) 

But whatever you decide to do, momentous occasions like this simply don’t happen every day!  And when they do come around, it’s important to share them with fellow fangirls (and boys) like yourselves!  For this reason, my Brilliant, Gorgeous, Hilarious, and All Around Amazing Blogging Pals, Amy of Imaginary Men, and Cherie over at My Spidey Sense is Tingling, and I have decided to LIVEBLOG THE MID-SEASON PREMIERE!

What’s a LiveBlog, you ask?  Well, it’s kind of like a chat room where you can talk (well, more accurately, “type”) about “The Descent” with other fabulous fangirls, like yourself, while the show is airing.  Or, if you’re shy, just read along.  And let US do the work for you!

  In addition to covering the play-by-play of the episode, and repeatedly cooing over the hotness of the show’s cast  (Comments like “OMG!  HE IS SO GORGEOUS!” are, of course, inevitable, in these types of forums, and TOTALLY welcome!), Amy, Cherie and I will also be regaling you with screenshots from the episode, hot photos of the cast, and fun live polls, in which can take part. 

TYLER: *reads*  “Who’s the hottest character on The Vampire Diaries?  I’m going to go with choice “C,” Tyler!”

CAROLINE:  “Hmmmm . . . what are the other choices?”

TYLER:  “Hey!  Don’t make me go all werewolf on you, again!”

Of course, if you miss the LiveBlog, and want to check it out after the episode airs, you can do that too!  Here’s an example of a LiveBlog we did back in September, for the show’s season premiere. 

“Haha!  Those girls TOTALLY thought I was dead, when Damon broke my neck, back in ‘The Return.’  Silly Fangbangers!”

(Oh, and just a quick note, because we had some confusion last year.  A LiveBlog is not the same thing as a LiveStream.  Unfortunately, the technology we have available to us from CoverItLive does not allow us to stream the episode to other viewers, over the internet.  It provides “chat” services only.  There are a number of other websites that will stream the episode for you, of course.  However, us fangirls don’t have the resources — or the necessary legal approval — to offer you that particular service.  Sorry, in advance!)

So, if you are up for celebrating The Vampire Diaries’ mid-season premiere with a bunch of crazy fangirl bloggers, who share a love of  both snarky commentary and shirtless vampires . . .

 . . . CLICK HERE at 8 p.m. on Thursday, January 27th! 

(You never know WHO you might meet! 😉 )

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Live Blogging Event, The Vampire Diaries