Tag Archives: 60’s

“Dead” Men Don’t Dance (Unless They Are Damon!) – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “The Last Dance”

ELENA:  “Psst . . . Bonnie . . . so I have this plan that’s going to make Delena fans and Bamon fans totally want to kill one another.  It’s going to be SO COOL!  Are you interested?”

BONNIE:  “That depends . . . does it involve me having blood gushing out of my nose, and making constipated facial expressions, while I shoot bolts of light out of my fingertips?  Because I really hate that . . .”

ELENA:  “Umm . . . welllllll .  . . yeah . . . But you also get to butt hump Damon on the dance floor, for a little while!”

BONNIE:  “I’m IN!”

“Make Love . . . Not War.”  That’s a saying you always hear people say, when they talk about the 60’s . . .  and about the hippies, who made that era an extremely “groovy” (not to mention, REALLY SLUTTY) time to be alive.  So, it’s fitting that this episode of TVD, which centers around a 60’s dance, was chock full of both love AND war.  But you don’t really care about that, do you?  You just want to watch Damon wiggling his butt in tight leather pants! 

Shame on YOU!  I was trying to teach you a HISTORY LESSON!  Now, I know how Alaric feels (the REAL one)!

Yes, there was definitely something for EVERYONE in “The Last Dance.”  For example, no matter what SHIP you are on, your favorite couple probably AT LEAST danced together tonight.  (Except for Forwood!  Sorry Forwood fans!)  Your favorite character probably had at least one BAD ASS moment to shine on screen!  And the character you HATE the most, probably had at least one scene, where he or she was either flatly rejected, or (SURPRISE!) thrown up against a wall! 

Have you ever wondered who Steven R. McQueen pissed off in the TVD writer’s room, to ensure that (1) all Jeremy’s girlfriends get whacked; and (2) he gets his ass pummeled each week, by everyone from invisible witch girls, to middle aged men in Coke bottle glasses, to skinny 14-year old boys?

Though not quite as “plot heavy” as last week’s installment, “The Last Dance” was still an action-packed hour, complete with twists, turns, fights, cliffhangers, deaths, rebirths, and enough AWESOME Delena eye-f*&king to impregnate an entire COUNTRY of TVD fans, just from watching the show! romance to fuel fanfiction writers for the next YEAR AND A HALF, AT LEAST!

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Oh, the wonderous possibilities . . .

So, only one question remains, Fang Bangers, “May I have this dance?”

Playing House with AlarKlaus

You know what I really hate?  When evil old vampires possess my History teacher, and he compels me to stab myself repeatedly in the knee!  That just really sucks!  (It also makes wearing short skirts very difficult.)

Well, that’s ONE way to get rid of cellulite!

When the episode begins, we check in on AlarKlaus, who, apparently, has moved into Alaric’s house (which I guess makes sense . . . I just thought someone of Klaus’ stature would choose more fancy digs, than what one can purchase on a high school teacher’s salary).  Bunking with AlarKlaus is the kidnapped Katherine, and Klaus’ gay lover Sumo Warlock.  It sure sounds like a party to me!

After railing on Alaric’s admittedly boring as all heck “Safari Sam” wardrobe . . .

Chunky Monkey, notwithstanding . . .

. . . AlarKlaus (who’s new voice and accent makes him sound much less like Yoda than he did last week  . . . which is refreshing) starts trying to glean information about the Scooby Gang from a very grumpy-looking Katherine.  Unfortunately, Katherine’s been kind on the outs with the Scooby Gang, ever since THIS happened . . .

and THIS . . .

 . . . and let’s not forget THIS . . .

So, she doesn’t have very much information to GIVE!

In fact, the Katherine we see this week is a VERY different vamp, from the confident, in charge, villainess we saw in “Plan B,” who single-handedly maneuvered a Useless Aunt Jenna Suicide Attempt AND a Stelena Breakup, AND a Tyler werewolf curse activation, all without even breaking a sweat!

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The Katherine of “The Last Dance” is someone who has very much been beaten at her own game — rejected by BOTH Salvatores, betrayed by her best (only?) friend, and kidnapped by AlarKlaus.  It’s odd seeing a character who was once seemingly willing to DO anything, and betray ANYBODY, in order to stay alive, literally begging her tormentor for death.  And yet, in requesting to be put out of her misery, the usually sly Katherine makes yet ANOTHER mistake!  Because now that Klaus knows what Katherine WANTS, he’ll definitely make sure she doesn’t get it. 

“I’ve been searching for you for 500 years.  So, I’ll be sure to make your death take at least half that long,” AlarKlaus explains to a petrified Katherine.  And that’s how AlarKlaus came to compel Katherine to stab herself in the leg . . . over . . . and over . . . and over again.  “And if you get bored . . . switch legs,” he offers.  “Don’t be so glum, Kat!  The fun is just beginning!”

FUN, indeed!

FIRST he makes hilariously true jokes about Alaric’s bad wardrobe, and THEN he makes Katherine do the vampiric equivalent of a rat caught in a trap, who is forced to chew off its own legs.  It’s OFFICIAL!  AlarKlaus is about ten times cooler (not to mention, hotter) than the Useless Aunt Jenna-dating Alaric will EVER BE!

Ahhh, but can he DANCE?

It’s Time for a Knock-Knock Joke!

DAMON:  “Knock, Knock!”

ELENA:  “Who’s there?”

DAMON:  “Damon”

ELENA: “Damon who?”

DAMON: “Damon, who wants to get into your pants.”

ELENA:  “You may enter . . . them.”

Back at La Casa de Rich and Awesome (which, thanks to some quick and dirty paperwork, has hereby,  been redubbed Elena’s Casa de Rich and Awesome) the Salvatore brothers are standing on the front porch, waiting to be “invited” into the home that has LITERALLY been in their name for centuries.  Last week, when Damon half-jokingly told Elena that he would be “really pissed” if she refused to invite him back into his own house, I just KNEW that comment was going to come back and bite him in the ASS! 

And bite, it DID!  Because while Elena let Stefan into the house, without giving him much thought or attention, for that matter, when it came Damon’s turn, she decided to use this as an opportunity to engage him in some HIGH QUALITY flirtation and eye f*&king, before he “crossed the threshhold” into HER home (and, inevitably, her panties).

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“What are we twelve?” Damon asks, feigning annoyance, when he is secretly LOVING all the attention he is getting.

“One of us is,” says Elena, flirtatiously, blocking the door, and posing seductively, in a manner that would make doppelganger Katherine proud!

Elena makes Damon promise that he will OBEY the “owner of the house,” before allowing him to enter.  Upon hearing this statement, my mind immediately fills up with KINKY S&M images of these two . . .

“Damon, you’ve been a VERY BAD BOY!   You must OBEY ME!  Say my name, B*TCH!”

Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot.  Bonnie is at the house too.  And because it’s Mystery Meat Day at the cafeteria, Elena and Bonnie have decided to make their biannual pilgrimage to school.  Damon doesn’t want Elena to leave.  He’d much rather OBEY her some more upstairs in one of the bedrooms.  But Elena knows that the plot of this week’s episode requires her to attend at least one class, and lunch.  So, she insists.  “Next to Bonnie is the safest place I can be,” Elena offers helpfully.

Painfully Obvious Foreshadowing Moment #1

Journey to CougarTown

*sings* “Caroline’s mom has got it going on.  She’s all I want, and I’ve waited for so.  . .”  Ick, nevermind!

Back at Caroline’s house, Matt Donavasshole has arrived.   But he’s not there to visit to his girlfriend, like a normal red-blooded teenage boy would, he’s there to visit her, not particularly feminine, mother.

MATT:  “Ms. Forbes, are you trying to seduce me?”

LIZ:  “That depends . . . is it working?”

Apparently, Sheriff Lizard Forbes would very much like for Matt to keep boning her daughter, and playing dumb (Well, that part should be easy for him, at least!) about all the information Caroline told him last week.  That’s right boys and girls!  Lizard Forbes, not only knows HER own daughter’s secret, she also knows DAMONS . . . and STEFAN’S  . . . and ELENA’S . . . and TYLER’S (Way to be discreet, CAROLINE!)

“I just need you to buy me some time, while I figure out how to dig myself out of this ridiculous Black Hole of a Plotline the writers have dug for our now ridiculously unlikeable characters.

I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand this storyline AT ALL!  I suspect the point of this conversation was to make fans of the show HATE Matt less.  After all, he’s only doing what Caroline’s MOM wants him to do, right?  Right? 

WRONG!  The fact that Matt is chosing his girlfriend’s MOTHER, over his actual girlfriend just makes him a Mama’s Boy, not to mention a TOTAL WEINERFACE POOPYHEAD!

At least last week, when I thought Lizard and Donovasshole actually had a PLAN, behind their manipulation and betrayal of Caroline, I was intrigued by their newfound villainy.  Now, I’m just confused . . . and bored.  In fact, let’s just forget the aforementioned scene ever happened, OK?

POOF!  It’s been forgotten!

Don’t Know Much About History (But Know a Ton About Being CREEPY!)

Wanting to “lay eyes on his precious doppelganger,” AlarKlaus decides to head to school.  Normally, of course, this would be the absolute WORST place to find Elena, since, as I mentioned, she’s NEVER THERE.  But Elena IS at school today.  So, when AlarKlaus, under the guise of Alaric, arrives at his history class, it gives him the perfect opportunity to ogle and leer inappropriately at Elena, the daughter of his ex-wife, and adopted daughter of his now-ex girlfriend.  (Umm, yeah . . . because that’s not incestuous at all!)

“Care to join us, Elena?  We were playing pin the tail on the Chunky Monkey.”

The funniest part of this scene, of course, was that, unlike vampire Stefan, who, during the pilot episode, was a walking encyclopedia of dates and events.  New History Teacher AlarKlaus doesn’t remember a THING about the 60’s!  He’s been around so darn long that individual decades don’t even register on his radar! 

Not only can AlarKlaus not teach worth a DAMN, he also doesn’t know ANY of his students’ names, or what he was teaching in class the day before!  Of course, nobody in the class, least of all Elena, thinks there is anything at all strange about this.  Of course, I attribute this to the fact that the REAL Alaric is an alcoholic, who goes out drinking with Bromantic Buddy Damon every night, and always shows up to class wasted . . .

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At lunch “Dana” or as I like to refer to her “Creepy Compelled Girl from the Promos,” asks Elena if she is going to the 60’s dance tonight.  She then tells her that a “hot guy named Klaus,” who DOESN’T look like her history teacher, wants her to save the “last dance” for him.

“3 scenes, 3 lines.  You know what that means, don’t you?  SAG CARD, HERE I COME!”

By the way, did anybody else find it strange that AlarKlaus was “human,” in the sense that Bonnie would be capable of killing him rather easily, were it not for the use of a Protection Spell . . . and “human,” in the sense that he could, enter Elena’s house without an invitation (more on that later) . . . but “vampiric” in his ability to compel others?  Now, maybe this is because compulsion is something that occurs in the mind, and not the bodyAnd yet, I’ve always considered it to be an exclusively VAMPIRE power, which would mean that someone inhabiting Alaric‘s body, shouldn’t have been able to do it.  Any thoughts?

The knowledge that Klaus has invaded Mystic Falls High and miraculously compelled an Extra to play his “wingman,” makes Elena cry we, we, we, we, we all the way back to her Casa de Rich and Awesome, to tell the rest of the Scooby Gang the bad news.  I smell a Pow Wow of Sexiness and Plot Explanation!

“Well Hi, There, Super Villain!  Wanna kill me?  Here’s HOW!”

So, remember how Damon used to be a member of the Let’s Kill All the Vampires in Mystic Falls Committee?

Well, it seems Klaus has taken a page out of the Salvatore Playbook, and has decided to join team Save Elena from Klaus . . .

It ends up being a BRILLIANT MOVE on Klaus’ part, actually.  Not only is the Scooby Gang COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to the fact that AlarKlaus acts ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE ALARIC, they also proceed to carefully detail for him their Klaus-killing plan.  Even though, presumably, Alaric himself, has probably heard it before (most likely during one of his and Damon’s LONNNNG nights of binge drinking). 

“I’m the Plan of Attack,” says Bonnie, like the humble gal she is.

When AlarKlaus challenges Bonnie’s ability to kill a Big Bad Vampire like himself Klaus, Bonnie gladly proves him wrong, by doing THIS . . .

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Look on the bright side, Damon.  At least it wasn’t a Wall Slam!

After his fun with the Scooby Gang, AlarKlaus heads back to Alaric’s crib and proceeds to play with himself “Safari Sam’s” toys.  Said toys include a SERIOUS arsenal of BAD ASS WEAPONRY .  . .

(As we already knew.)

 . . . and of course, lots of top quality liquor.  (See, I told you he’s an Alchy!)

AlarKlaus worries out loud that Bonnie (or as he lovingly refers to her, the Witch B*tch) might actually be able to defeat him, by murdering Alaric’s body.  So, Sumo Warlock comes up with the “brilliant” idea to “protect” AlarKlaus through a spell. 

Alert the media!  It speaks!

Once protected, Klaus can provoke Bonnie into using all her powers, thereby causing her to croak, just like the Great Witch Prophecy of Emily Bennett had said she would.

“Screw you too .  . . EMILY!”

And this brings us to the night of the  Next Last Dance . . .

Dance with the Devil (and everyone else on this show TOO!)

It’s 60’s Dance Night, and our Scooby Gang is trying to “blend in with the crowd,” and have fun, while,  at the same time, “tracking down and kiling Klaus.”  ALMOST everyone in the gang does a great job with the whole “Blending In” thing . . . except for . . . well . . .

You know you are a Major Buzzkill, when EVERYONE ELSE AT THE PARTY is wearing hot pants, and hippie outfits, and YOU show up dressed as an ASSASSINATED PRESIDENT, Matt DONAVASSHOLE!  It’s called a THEME dance, not Halloween!  Just  sayin’! 

Outside the dance, a still extremely concerned Jeremy tries to give Bonnie his Ugly Ass Ring of Immortality.  (Gee, I wonder why he would think she would be in danger?)

 

Bonnie declines Jeremy’s “marriage to life” proposal . . .

DEN-IED!

 . . . arguing that the ring only works on HUMANS and, as a witch, Bonnie is NOT exactly human.  You know, for all the MASSIVE hatred of all things supernatural, Bonnie has exhibited in the past, admitting that she is somewhat of a “monster” herself, is a MAJOR step in the right direction for our girl,  Bonnie!  And you know what THAT means, don’t you?

Painfully Obvious Foreshadowing Moment #2

Meanwhile, a very efficient AlarKlaus, has already begun the arduous task of Making the Compelled Humans Do His Work For Him.(LA-ZY!)  First, he “hires” “Dana” to give Elena the song dedication we witnessed in the promo.  Then, he commandeers “Dana’s 14-year old date and his rather wimpy looking friends” to “make some extra extra credit.”  AlarKlaus then slips this Second String Geek Squad some of Alaric’s gnarlier vampire hunting weapons (which reminds me, where the heck did AlarKlaus HIDE THOSE?  In his TIGHT PANTS?  A man purse, perhaps?)  to carry out this week’s Mini Gilbert Smackdown. 

But still, through it all, Damon is not impressed,  and he tells AlarKlaus as much . . .

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While, AlarKlaus goes and cries in his punch bowl, at Damon’s rejection of his villainy, Damon himself tries to IMPRESS his lady friends, with his Mad Dancing Skills, the excellence of which we are already well aware .  . .

Unlike AlarKlaus, who’d much prefer a more “prim and proper” decade, like the 20’s, Damon genuinely seems to feel at home in the 60’s. (I attribute this to the leather pants.)  And when he sees that his soon-to-be lover Elena is not enjoying herself quite as much as she should be, he sets out to change that, in one of my FAVORITE Delena moments of the episode . . .

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In a move that many of us Delena fans would like to view as a “foreshadowing of things to come,” Damon QUITE LITERALLY spins Elena away from Stefan’s arms, and into his own.  Elena is shocked, and pleasantly surprised by the gesture.  So, she shows her appreciation, by ogling Damon’s manparts, and staring at his eyes and lips, as if she would very much like to swallow them all whole.

 (Might I remind you that THIS is Ponytail Elena!  And, as we learned in “Daddy Issues” Ponytail Elena is ALWAYS down for Sexy Times with Damon!)

“You are very good at this,” says a Breathless Elena, as the tension of being stalked by Klaus starts to leave her body, and a DIFFERENT kind of tension, begins to build DOWN BELOW.  Damon further diffuses Elena’s discomfort, by offering up a bit of that patent snarky humor of his we all enjoy so much . . .

“Remember the LAST Dance we went to, where the vampires were all like ‘Arrrrrgh’ and you were all like ‘AHHHHHH?” 

I’m not even making that up!  Damon ACTUALLY says these words to Elena!  And it’s pretty friggin hilarious!  But Damon is not just saying it, to give fans of the show a little Season 1 flashback . . .

Memories . . . like the corners of my mind . . . misty water-colored memories . . . of the way we were!

He says it to remind Elena that she’s on the SCOOBY GANG!  And the Scooby Gang ALWAYS wins in the end!  GO TEAM!

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Having already swept Elena off her feet, Damon turns his attention to more practical matters.  And so begins his Ass Grind Fest with Bonnie Bennett, while the pair whisper Sweet Klaus Magical Murder Schemes in one another’s ears .  . .

Ponytail Elena, of course, is NOT AT ALL COOL with this!  No one is going to ASS GRIND with Damon, besides HER!  “What are THOSE TWO up TO?”  Ponytail Elena asks Jeremy pointedly, her kitty claws, ready to scratch Bonnie’s eyes out . . .

Ooh, I bet Damon LOVES it when she gets jealous!

A Broody Jeremy leaves the dance promptly.  So, Sensitive Stefan, always the group’s unofficial shrink, rushes to comfort him.  It is there, that Jeremy finally spills the beans on Bonnie’s Deadly Witch Sacrifice Plans.  So, of course, Stefan blabs to Elena.  And Elena confronts Bonnie.  And it becomes this BIG OLE Game of Telephone, Scooby Gang style! 

Elena pulls Bonnie aside, and tells her, once and for all, that she is NOT dying to save Elena’s life.  But Bonnie notes, not unkindly, that Elena would do the same thing for her.  And Elena can’t deny this . . . There is crying, and hugging, and all sorts of HO-mantic goodness .  . . and all while Poor Jeremy is getting his ASS HANDED to him, by a bunch of twerps, for the 85,000th time this season.  But when Damon and Stefan come to his rescue, they figure out pretty quickly that the twerps were compelled, and that this is all ONE BIG TRAP.

Meanwhile, “Alaric” has come outside to inform Elena and Bonnie that “Klaus has Jeremy.”  They quickly follow him back inside the school.  Ruh-ROH!

The Showdown!

I love how INCREDIBLY long it took Elena and Bonnie to finally figure out that Klaus had possessed Alaric’s body.  In fact, when AlarKlaus, who was clearly SO DONE pretending to be a mild-mannered history teacher, started verbally threatening them in the hallway, their first thought was that he was COMPELLED by Klaus to do it.  “Are you still on vervain, Alaric?”  Elena inquires.

Finally, AlarKlaus gives up being cryptic, and grudingly SPELLS IT OUT FOR THE GIRLS . . . “I’ll give you a hint, I’m not Alaric,” AlarKlaus admits.  (Well DUH!)  Now that all their secrets are finally out on the table, AlarKlaus comes clean about the fact that it is BONNIE he wants to murder this evening, not Elena.  So, Bonnie starts going all witchy on his ass.   But thanks to Sumo Warlock’s protection spell, it isn’t quite as effective as she would have hoped.  “If you kill this body, I’ll just have to go and get myself another one . . . maybe Jeremy’s,” Klaus notes . . .

“You mean, there’s a scenario out there, where I might actually WIN a fight, for a change?  HELLS YEAH!”

(Hmmm, now the Ugly Ass Ring of Immortality protects Jeremy from Death by Supernatural Beings.  I wonder if it protects him from possession by Supernatural Beings . . . interesting . . .)

Knowing a lost cause when they see one, Elena an Bonnie dash off in retreat.  Outside, the school, we see Damon employ a similar Divide and Conquer Vampire Trick to the one we saw Klaus use on Elena and Bonnie, earlier.  (I swear there must be a Vampire Playbook out there, somewhere!) 

“GO FIND STEFAN,” Damon instructs Elena.  (And she falls for it . . . AGAIN!)

Where’s your head at, girlfriend?  Keep this up, and the next thing you know, you’ll be hiding important ancient artifacts in soap dishes!

Alone again with Bonnie, Damon begins to describe to her his plan for Elena’s survival, in earnest . . .

Bonnie’s Big Sacrifice

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“You’re ass is GRASS, AlarKlaus!”

The Big Battle Scene between Bonnie and AlarKlaus takes place in some student lounge.  It’s not much of a battle, really.  Because the pair NEVER so much as lays a finger on one another.  We see Bonnie do her, nose bleed, raised hand, glaring thing.  Alaric gets thrown around the room a bit, Mini Gilbert style, but always gets up unscathed. 

Then, vending machines start exploding, and my heart goes out to the students at MysticFalls  High.  Because I know just HOW LONG school days can be, when you can’t get your $.75 pack of pretzels, or your $1.00 Diet Coke with Lime!

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Umm . . . Bonnie?  I don’t know how to tell you this, but your nose is like REALLY BLEEDING, and you’ve got some lightning sparks in your hair . . .

Speaking of Bonnie’s hair, I’ve just figured out the REAL benefit of witchy fighting: NO BAD HAIR DAYS!  You can save the world, and still look like you just stepped out of a salon!  (Well . . . as long as you plug up those unsightly nose bleeds, that is!)

Anywhoo, Elena arrives on the scene just in time to see AlarKlaus disappear into thin air, and Bonnie drop dead . . .

Now, if you’ve read these recaps before, you know that Bonnie and I aren’t exactly the best of “pals.”  But you’ve really gotta hand it to Nina Dobrev, and her Mad Acting Skills.  Because when she rushed onto the scene, and started bawling over Bonnie’s lifeless body, I must admit, I grew a bit teary-eyed, myself. 

Moments later, the Salvatore Bro’s rush onto the scene, with Damon instructing Stefan to get Elena away from the body, so that he can DO HIS BUSINESS.  Being the Good Little Boy that he is, Stefan complies. 

Meanwhile, Damon gently closes Bonnie’s eyes, and carries her down to some weird candlelit room.  (What’s with witches and candles anyway?  Can someone explain this to me?)  Damon finds Jeremy in the parking lot, and solemnly directs her to Bonnie’s underground grave.  When he gets down there, Bonnie opens her eyes . . .

SURPRISE!  Bonnie’s NOW A FLESH EATING ZOMBIE!  She’s ALIVE!  Haha, fooled you, TVD fans!  Aren’t accidental deaths meant to manipulate the audience into having FEELINGS for a character they may or may not have originally given two craps about HILARIOUS!

Now, that you’ve totally flipped your sh*t, it’s time for a little product placement.  You see, apparently, Jeremy brought his little mini laptop with him to the dance (DORK!)!  I’ll show you how he plans to use it in a bit.  Meanwhile, let’s go check on Elena, who’s not in on the “SUPER FUNNY” Death Fake Out, YET . . .

“I will ALWAYS choose YOU!”

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Back at Elena’s Casa de Rich and Awesome, Stefan is trying in vain to comfort his girlfriend, who is still completely inconsolate over the not-so-much-death of Bonnie.  When Damon comes  home from “burying the Witch Bitch,” a tearful Elena, really lets him have it, “You knew she was going to DIE,” Elena insists.

“Yes,” replies Damon.  *facepalm* 

(See, if I were Damon, my first words, upon entering the house, would have been.  “HAHA, BONNIE’S ALIVE!  APRIL FOOL’S!”  I mean, talk about burying the lead!)

Not surprisingly, Elena slaps Damon for his insensitive words . . . HARD! 

And THAT’S when Damon FINALLY decides to tell her the truth: that  Bonnie had to make Klaus BELIEVE she was dead, so that he would stop trying to attack her.  Damon’s reasoning for keeping this from Elena was that, he believed that, if she knew what was going to happen, she probably wouldn’t have put on as believeable a Cry Face, as she did that evening.  (Well . .  . it WAS a good Cry Face!)

Elena happily rushes to her room and heads online.  Back in the Bat Cave, Jeremy has set up his underground WiFi connection, which allows Elena and Bonnie to SKYPE together!  YAY!  Lamest Best product placement ever! 

You can just imagine the tagline on the inevitable commercial that will result from this,  “Have you faked your own death?  Are you bored and lonely, living life underground, while all your friends and family are having fun upstairs?  SKYPE can HELP!”

(Which reminds me . . . doesn’t Bonnie have parents?  Aren’t THEY going to start to wonder, why she never came home from the dance?  Aren’t there ANY good parents on this show?)

And YES, I am looking at YOU, Useless Aunt Jenna!  Little Miss, I’m Going to Live on Campus for a Week, While the Two Children in My Care Get Beat Up, and Psychologically Tortured, at a School Dance, and one of them somehow “Purchases” a MANSION!

AHEM!

Oh, DON”T even get me started!

Downstairs, at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Stefan is pouting, because Damon didn’t let him in on the Oh-So-Funny plan he and Bonnie had to PUNK Elena.  Damon rightfully argues, that had he told Stefan, Stefan would have undoubtedly gone blabbing to Elena, and ruined everything.

“Don’t get me wrong Stefan, I don’t mind being the Bad Guy,” Damon begins.  “I’ll make all the Life and Death Decisions while you worry about the collateral damage.  I’ll even let her hate me for it.  But at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive.”

Harsh words, Elder Salvatore . . . but true.  I actually think THIS moment represents a real turning point for the Stefan-Elena-Damon love triangle.  But not for the reasons you might think.  Remember back in “Rose,” when Damon told Elena that he loved her, but ultimately compelled her to forget it, because he felt that Stefan was more DESERVING of Elena’s love, than he was?

Who am I kidding?  Of COURSE you remember!  It was EPIC!

Well, THIS is the first time we’ve seen Damon actually question whether or not that is actually true.  Here, BOTH Stefan and Damon are coming to the realization that Damon MAY, in fact, be better equipped to save Elena, than Stefan is.  After all, Damon is willing to hurt Elena, in order to keep her safe, whereas Stefan might not be capable of doing so.  Interestingly enough, Stefan never contests Damon’s accusations against him.  Rather, he seems to take them to heart, in a very personal way.

And I think that it is THIS realization on Damon’s part, that allows him to be as upfront with Elena, about his feelings for her, as he is in the next scene.  While Damon does not go QUITE as far, as he did in “Rose,” in that he does not verbally use the word, “love” to describe his feelings for her, the words Damon does use are JUST as powerful of an indicator of that emotion. 

I’ll let you watch the scene in full first, so you can get the complete impact.  And then I’ll make a few choice comments . . .

Watching this scene again, I’m struck by how very HONEST both Damon and Elena are with one another, about their true intentions.  In hindsight, you can almost SEE the moment, when Elena makes the decision to do what she does in the final scene.  Once she’s decided, she all but telegraphs to Damon, her choice, as if begging him to say the thing that will stop her.  “Let me get one thing straight, I will NOT let Bonnie die for me,” says Elena.  “There has to be another way.”

You can try to hide your true  feelings from Damon.  But Flirty Hair Pulls of Lust don’t LIE, Elena!

But Damon loves Elena so very much, that he can’t hear what she is trying to tell him in this moment, which is tragic on so many levels.  “Let me get one thing straight,” he begins, “If it comes down to you or the Witch again, I will gladly let her die.  I will ALWAYS . . . CHOSE . . . YOU.”

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Just as Damon realized that he HAD to keep his plans regarding Bonnie a secret from Elena, in order to protect Elena’s life, Elena now realizes that she has to keep her decision from Damon, in order to protect Bonnie’s life.  And it is because they are both such similarly passionate people — who are willing to sacrifice everything  forthose they care about — that Damon and Elena will NEVER agree on the lengths they should go to keep Elena safe. 

I think my favorite moment of the scene, was the very final one.  This is after all the confessions have been made, when Elena realizes that her next move is going to be a major betrayal of Damon’s love for her.

After saying good night to Damon, Elena turns back toward him, and looks him straight in the eye.  (For a second there, I REALLY did think she was going to kiss him.)  Clearly, there was SO MUCH that Elena wanted to say to Damon: about his feelings for her . . . about HER feelings for him . . . and  about the sacrifices people make for ones they love.  And I actually think Elena came EXTREMELY close to telling Damon her plans regarding Elijah.  But in the end she knew that she couldn’t.  Instead, Elena leaves Damon’s room, sad, confused, and resigned to her fate.

As Damon watches Elena go, he too has left a lot unsaid, regarding just how much he truly loves her, and how much it kills him to see her in pain, especially when he is the one causing it.  And yet, now that Damon is FINALLY starting to realize how much he truly deserves Elena, there’s a good chance HE may unburden himself to her completely,someday soon.  Hopefully, that day will come sooner, rather than later.

But first . . . he will have THIS new development to deal with . . .

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As you recall, the Rhythm Method of Murdering Vampire Originals has one small catch . . . “pull out” too late, and you’ve got another pesky little vampire bun in your oven!  That’s right boys and girls!  Thanks to Elena, ELIJAH HAS RETURNED!

Speaking of Elijah, next week, we get to see him in Flashback Mode, complete with a Brand Spanking OLD haircut!  Oh, and did I mention the TITLE for next week’s episode?  It’s called “Klaus.”  Yes indeed, the REAL Voldemort will be showing his face on your television screen VERY SOON!  You can check out the extended preview for the episode, right here:

In the epic words of Elijah himself, “I believe the term you are looking for is ‘OMFG.'”

See you April 21st, fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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