On the surface, Seth Cohen is not the type of guy a TV fangirl, like me, normally “goes for.” In fact, when I watched the pilot episode for The O.C., I was very ANTI- Seth Cohen! He just seemed so “sweet” and protagonist-y.
This wasn’t a guy who was going to be broody or uncommunicative, like my previous TV boyfriends. He wasn’t going to kick people’s asses for the fun of it . . . or do morally ambigious (read: “sexy”) things on a weekly basis . . . or walk around shirtless, constantly, just because he could. In short, I didn’t think Seth Cohen and I were going to get along, AT ALL . . .
But then, something strange happened. As I continued to watch The O.C., gradually, Seth Cohen began to win me over with his refreshingly uncool ways . . .
He wasn’t like the shallow, superficial high school characters you typically saw on teen dramas, who only seemed interested in who they were dating at the moment, and whether they’d win prom king and queen. Seth was smart and sarcastic, but not in a pompous or self-righteous sort of way. His unique brand of humor was goofy, charming, and self-deprecating.
He was also unapologetically “meta.” This was a Guy On a TV Show who ABSOLUTELY KNEW he was a Guy On a TV Show. And he was loving every minute of it . . .
Given all that, it should be no surprise to you that Seth Cohen ended up being somewhat of a STUD on The O.C. And though he did have his pick of the ladies, throughout the seasons, there was only ONE woman who truly had his heart . . .
That’s right, boys and girls! Seth Cohen was a firm believer in the ever-evaporating concept of Monogamy. (Granted, he did date two girls simultaneously for a good portion of the first season. But we are going to let that one slide, for the moment . . .) Seth Cohen gave the entire Nerd Population hope, when he managed to overcome his social awkwardness, unpopularity, and love of comic books, to win the heart of pretty, popular alpha female, Summer Roberts.
Seth and Summer. Summer and Seth. It just doesn’t get much more adorable than these two brunette cuties . . .
For all the aforementioned reasons (and some others I will share with you in just a bit), on this Memorial Day 2011, I would like to create an Unofficial Memorial to my favorite TV GOOD BOY Boyfriend. This memorial will feature video clips, screencaps, GIFS, and . . . well . . . not much else, because I’m feeling particularly lazy today. (I’m hungover! SUE ME! 🙂 )
What follows are TEN REASONS (in no particular order) why Good Boy Seth Cohen has what it takes to go head-to-head with even the darkest of Bad Boys in the battle for your heart . . .
(1) He is “stealth.”
(2) He’s kind to ALL animals (even the plastic ones).
(10) He will (quite literally) sweep you off your feet.
There you have it: a video and pictoral representation of 10 reasons why Seth Cohen fully deserves TV Boyfriend status, despite being an unrelentingly GOOD BOY. So, thank you, Seth Cohen, for showing us TV watchers that sometimes the LIGHT can be just as sexy as the DARKNESS. That being said . . . TAKE YOUR DAMN SHIRT OFF, ALREADY!
THANK YOU!
(For more shots of Shirtless Seth Cohen, feel free to head HERE!)
See ya in The O.C., Seth. And in the words of Phantom Planet, “California, HERE WE COME!”
It’s a choice that heroines in teen dramas have had to grapple with for ages: the brooding and sensitive good boy versus the unrepentant and dangerous bad one.
And nowhere on television is that eternal question more fully explored than on the CW’s The Vampire Diaries, where good can be bad . . .
. . . and bad can be deliciously GOOD!
Unlike in other shows, where the “good guy” is so bland and boring as to make the heroine’s choice completely obvious, writers Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec actually make a startlingly good case for both the “straight-laced” Stefan Salvatore, and his “fun loving killer” brother Damon. Nonetheless, a choice HAS to be made . . .
Threesomes are fun, but they can’t last forever . . .
. . . and I’ve made mine. In Stefan’s defense, 9 times out of ten, when this sort of question is raised, I will throw MY lot in with the Bad Boy, without a second thought. But there is something about Damon’s and Elena’s relationship that makes it special.
Unlike most heroines in these type of dramas, Elena is NOT drawn to Damon out of any sort of need for rebellion against authority. After all, Elena’s parents are dead, and Useless Aunt Jenna certainly isn’t going to be “reigning her in” any time soon. As for Damon, well, sure, his attraction to Elena may have started because (1) he wanted to stick it to his baby brother; and (2) she looked SO MUCH like his ex . . .
. . . but that changed almost immediately after he met her.
Damon and Elena understand one another in a way no one else around them can. They know eachothers’ vulnerabilities and weaknesses, as well as their respective strengths. This allows them to be at ease with one another, and let their guards down in conversation.
When Damon and Elena are in the same room together, the sexual tension between them crackles and pops like a sparkler on Independence Day. And even when they aren’t saying anything, the pair can carry on entire conversations through eye contact and body language.
This is why what I am about to do here is so difficult. When EVERY interaction between two individuals is electrically charged with sexuality, emotion, and meaning, how can one POSSIBLY boil down their entire complex relationship into JUST 10 scenes? Nonetheless, I figured it was worth a try. What follows are ten Damon / Elena scenes from Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries. These scenes, in my opinion, really encapsulate the pair’s relationship, and comprise the best of what this couple has to offer.
[Note: For whatever reason, The CW has always been a bit finicky about what videos it allows us fans to embed in our blog posts. Therefore, most of the below videos will require you to click on an internal link, that will redirect you to YouTube, before you can watch. That being said, when I tell you the slight inconvenience you must endure to see the videos will be entirely worth it, I promise, I am not lying . . .]
10) Damon and Elena get flirty in Elena’s bedroom . . .
Nothing says “manly” like a boy in a pink bed, cuddling with a Teddy Bear.
Episode: “Under Control” – 1 X 18
Setting the scene: Elena invites Damon over for an emergency meeting to discuss Stefan, who has been acting strangely ever since he ingested Elena’s blood, during the prior episode . . .
Potent quotables:
DAMON: “You ask, I come. I’m easy likethat.”
DAMON: (Calls out to a suspicious Jeremy, who is eating cereal in the next room) “No, Elena, I will NOT got to your bedroom with you!”
Why it made the list: I love how Damon challenges Elena’s growing attraction to him here, by invading her personal space. Watch the glee Damon takes in laying on Elena’s bed, hugging her teddy bear, fingering her photographs, and fondling her bras and delicates. Then, at the end of the scene, Damon invades Elena’s person, as he moves in close, trapping her up against the vanity table. In that moment, without saying so, Damon is forcing Elena to confront her feelings for him, and how they differ from her feelings for Stefan.
9) Damon gives Elena a rose
Episode: “Under Control” – 1 X 18
Setting the scene: Damon and Elena are at a Founder’s Day pre-party, where Stefan is drinking heavily, in an attempt to dull his hunger for human blood. Elena expresses her concerns to Damon as the two sit next to one another at the bar. But Damon is more concerned about Elena’s brother, Jeremy, who has been asking questions about Vicki Donovan’s death.
(Background: After Damon made Vicki into a vampire, she violently turned on Elena and Jeremy. Stefan killed Vicki to save them. Then, at Elena’s request, Damon buried Vicki’s body, and compelled Jeremy to forget what had happened.)
Potent quotables:
DAMON: (Mimicking Jeremy) “Oh, but sheriff, someone buried her. Who would do that?” (raises hand) “I know, I know! ME!”
And later . . .
DAMON: (Upon agreeing not to use any more compulsion on Jeremy) “OK. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Why it made the list: For me, this scene really illustrates the snap, crackle, and pop of Damon’s and Elena’s witty banter. These two are clearly at ease with one another. Check out the pair’s body language, as they angle their chairs toward eachother, and repeatedly brush limbs. I also love the old-fashioned way Damon “courts” Elena, by selecting a rose from a nearby bouquet, sniffing it to make sure it is of top quality, and delicately placing it in her hand.
So often, we forget that Damon “grew up” in the mid 1800’s. This scene gently reminds us of that. When Elena receives the rose, she can’t help but be flattered and intrigued by Damon’s gesture, even though she knows she shouldn’t be.
8 ) Things “heat up,” while Damon and Elena are in the kitchen together. . .
Episode: “Children of the Damned” – 1 X 13
Setting the scene: Damon has dropped by the Gilbert home for dinner, unannounced. After the meal, Damon and Elena wash dishes together. Things quickly evolve from fun and flirty, to serious and intense, when Damon inquires as to Stefan’s true motives, in agreeing to help Damon free his long lost love, Vampire Katherine, from a nearby tomb. Elena initially shrugs off the question, but Damon confronts her directly, imploring her to be honest with him. She isn’t . . .
Potent quotables:
ELENA: “Don’t do that”
DAMON: “Do what?”
ELENA: “That move was deliberate.”
DAMON: “Yeah, I was deliberately trying to get to the sink.”
And later . . .
ELENA: “I’m wearing vervain, Damon. It’s not going to work.”
DAMON: “I’m not trying to compel you. I just want you to answer me . . . honestly”
Why it made the list: So many of Damon’s and Elena’s interactions revolve around the issue of trust. Can these two individuals trust one another? Well . . . that really depends on the episode.
For me, this scene can really be broken down into two parts. The first part of the scene is lighthearted and flirtatious. Notice Damon’s highly sexualized “Ohhh . . . mmmm” when he “accidentally” bumps into Elena on the way to the sink. While Elena pretends to be annoyed by the grope, the sly grin on her face says otherwise.
The second scene is more intense. Damon can sense that Stefan and Elena are lying to him, but instinctively trusts Elena, and refuses to believe she could do anything so dishonest. When Elena accuses Damon of trying to compel her to tell him the truth, he appears to be truly offended that she would think he would do that to her, after all they had been through. When Damon asks Elena if he can trust Stefan, he is revealing to her a vulnerable side of him that she hasn’t seen before. She feels guilty about lying to Damon, as evidenced by the way her eyes drift downward, refusing to meet his, at 1:18. Then again, she may just be mesmerized by those gorgeous lips of his . . .
7) Damon and Elena get wet (in the rain)
Episode: “Let the Right One in” – 1 X 17
Setting the scene: Stefan is being held captive by the Hidey Hole Vamps (a random plotline developed, and promptly discarded mid season). The Hidey Hole Vamps came from the tomb Damon opened during “Fool Me Once” (Episode 14). You know, the one that was SUPPOSED to contain Vampire Katherine, but didn’t? So, understandably, Damon feels a bit responsible for his brother’s kidnapping. Elena of course, is beside herself, and wants part in the rescue. But Damon fears that if Elena comes along, the responsibility will become too much for him. And he will lose both Stefan AND Elena, in the process.
Potent quotables:
DAMON:(Lovingly cupping Elena’s wet face in his hands). “Elena, I know. But I don’t know how to get him out.”
Why it made the list: This short scene is intensely emotional for both Damon and Elena. Both characters have completely let their guard down. Elena, who is intensely strong willed, and usually highly adept at keeping her emotions in check, is near tears, at the thought of Stefan being killed by the Hidey Hole Vamps. She feels helpless, and has stored all her hopes in Damon.
As I mentioned earlier, Damon feels responsible for this whole situation. He desperately wants to protect Elena and Stefan, and fears he is about to let them both down. Damon, who has always been supernaturally strong, and can usually mask his feelings with bravado and snark, is completely stripped down and vulnerable here. And he hates it . . .
6) Damon watches Elena sleep
Episode: “Friday Night Bites” – 1 X 3
Setting the scene: Ummm, I think you all are smart enough to figure this one out on your own . . .
Potent quotables:
STEFAN: (in voiceover) “I felt there was hope. That somewhere deep inside, something inside Damon was human, normal.”
Why it made the list: This scene, from the third Episode of The Vampire Diaries, is important, because it is truly the first time we see anything resembling humanity in Damon. Up until this point, all we have seen him do is kill and manipulate people. Every word spoken by him had an ulterior motive. Every gesture was made in malice. Here, we know, Damon’s actions are completely uncalculated, BECAUSE no one else can see them. Not even Elena, herself, who is unconscious the entire time.
It’s a short scene, only a few moments long, and (aside from the voiceover) dialogue free. But those few seconds speak volumes about Damon’s complexity as a character, and his early feelings for Elena — feelings that would only grow stronger, as the series progressed . . .
5) Elena falls victim to Damon’s “Eye Thing”
Episode: “Founder’s Day” 1 X 22 (The Season 1 Finale)
Setting the scene: Elena has just changed out of her 1800’s attire, following the Founder’s Day parade, and a ride on the Miss Mystic Falls float. Ever since Elena’s biological mother told Elena that Damon “loved her” (“Isobel” – Episode 1 X 21) things have gotten a bit awkward among our favorite Vampire Threesome. And Elena desperately wants to clear the air.
Speaking of clearing the air, things of become unusually chilly between Elena and her little brother, Jeremy, following Jeremy’s discovery that Elena has been keeping information aboutVicki’s vampiric demise from him. She also played a major part in having Jeremy’s memory of the event wiped from his consciousness.
Potent quotables:
DAMON: “I like you better like this. The period look, it didn’t suit you.”
ELENA: “Is that an insult?”
DAMON: “Actually, Elena. It is a compliment, of the highest order.”
And later . . .
ELENA: “So, I think you should stop with the flirty little comments, and that . . . Eye Thing . . . that you do.”
DAMON: “What eye thing?” (Does Eye Thing . . .)
ELENA: “Don’t make me regret being your friend.”
Why it made the list: In this scene, we can truly see how far Damon has come, from seeing Elena as a conquest, and a doppelganger of his long lost love, to being a sexy, intelligent, and caring woman, in her own right. The fact that Damon prefers Elena wearing modern clothes, to Elena wearing Katherine’s clothes, speaks volumes about how much his feelings for her have grown. Further evidence of that is found later in the scene, when Elena tells Damon not to make her regret being his friend.
Initially, of course, Damon’s face, which has been playful and seductive, since the opening of the scene, falls. Here’s a sexy popular playboy, one who has NEVER had any trouble with the ladies. And he has just been placed in the Friend Zone.
But what makes things really interesting, is what Damon does next. We watch as he takes a beat to ponder his relationship with Elena. Instantly, he comes to the conclusion that a friendship with Elena would be far better than no relationship at all. He nods sadly, but with a deep understanding and respect for Elena’s strength, as she goes to talk to Jeremy. And don’t even get me started on that “Eye Thing.”
4) Damon tries to compel Elena to kiss him / gets slapped in the face
Episode: “Friday Night Bites: – 1 x 3
Setting the scene: Damon has basically been compelling Elena’s friend Caroline to be his blood whore throughout the entire episode. But Caroline has started to bore and annoy Damon, so he sets his sights on greener pastures, Elena’s. Never one to go about things the “hard way,” Damon corners Elena, alone in the parking lot, during a high school football game. He plans to compel her to be his love slave, just as he has done with Caroline. Little does he know that Stefan has armed her with a vervain necklace, rendering her impervious to all mind control . . .
Potent quotables:
DAMON: “You’re right, I do have other intentions. But so do you . . . I see them. You want me . . . I get to you. You find yourself drawn to me. You think about me, even when you don’t want to think about me. I bet you’ve even dreamed about me . . . (Damon’s eyes glow green, with the power of compulsion behind them). And right now, you want to kiss me.”
And later . . .
ELENA: “I am NOT Katherine!”
Why it made the list: The acting in this scene between Ian Somerhalder (Damon) and Nina Dobrev (Elena) was positively brilliant. For starters, the sexual tension between these two is undeniable — even though, at this point, Elena is trying desperately to deny it, and Damon is trying to force it, for his own personal gain. When Damon first makes his speech about how “hot for him” Elena is, we, as viewers, know that a lot of what he is saying true. Elena DOES feel drawn to Damon. She DOES think about him, even when she doesn’t want to. And she HAS dreamed about him.
But what’s really interesting is to watch the scene from Elena’s perspective. That dreamy, faraway, look in her eye. The way she keeps leaning closer and closer to him, as he speaks, unable to break eye contact. The first time I saw the scene, I wondered, for a moment, whether Damon had SUCCEEDED in compelling Elena to want to kiss him, in spite of the fact that she was wearing vervain.
Then I wondered whether Elena knew what Damon was trying to do. Based on that theory, she was just pretending to fall under his spell, only to catch him off guard, when she went in for the slap later. But here’s the thing: at this point, Elena doesn’t KNOW that Stefan and Damon are vampires. (Notice how Elena didn’t catch on to Damon’s ironic intimation, that he was MUCH older than Caroline.) So, she has no idea, they are capable of mind control. So, Elena’s seemingly lovestruck initial reaction to Damon’s words? It was REAL!
3) Damon and Elena do the “Mating Dance”
Episode: “Miss Mystic Falls” – 1 X 19
Setting the Scene: Elena has unwillingly agreed to take part in the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Stefan has agreed to be her escort. But on the day of the pageant, Stefan mysteriously disappears. (Turns out he’s gone all blood lusty, and has set out to eliminate Elena’s competition, by eating it.) Unbeknownst to Elena, Damon has stepped in to fill Stefan’s shoes, and, subsequently, save the day.
Potent quotables:
USELESS AUNT JENNA: “What is she doing with Damon?”
ALARIC: “I have NO IDEA!”
Why it made the list: Like the earlier referenced scene, where Damon watched Elena sleep, this scene is nearly silent, save for the music to which the contestants dance. I love the first part of the scene, where Elena has her “Oh so Teen Cliched” Staircase Moment, and we see Damon’s eyes light up with love and sexual desire, as he sees her in that blue dress for the first time.
You can see the changes that take place in the couple, as the dance progresses. When it first starts, the two are wary of one another, stiff and business like. But then the music starts to take over. Smiles form on their faces. They are actually enjoying THIS!
Damon’s a surprisingly good dancer (much better than his younger brother). The first part of the dance, during which the partners can’t touch, is a mating ritual in every sense of the world. Damon and Elena circle one another like predator and prey.
But things really heat up when they are finally able to grab hold of one another. He grasps her body firmly, in a manner that is strong and protective. They both get a bit lost in the moment, wanting to move in closer, but unable to do so, based on the regimented nature of the dance. When the music stops, and the pair are forced to break from one another, they both seem a bit jarred by the intense emotions this experience has brought to the surface.
2) Damon kisses Elena Katherine
Episode: “Founder’s Day” – 1 x 22 (Season 1 Finale)
Setting the scene: At the Founder’s Day Carnival, Bonnie, at Elena’s behest, used her magic to rescue Damon from death by fire. Filled with gratitude, Damon goes to Elena’s house to set things right with Elena’s brother, Jeremy, by explaining to him, what truly happened with Vampire Vicki. As he leaves the house, he runs into who he THINKS is Elena. (It isn’t . . .)
Potent quotables:
DAMON: “I’m not a hero, Elena. I don’t do good. It’s not in my nature.”
KATHERINE (as Elena): “Maybe it is.”
And later . . .
DAMON: “She did it for you [saved me], which means that, somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving. And I wanted to thank you for that.”
KATHERINE (as Elena): “You’re welcome.”
Why it made the list: At first blush, it may seem like sacrilege to put a scene that didn’t even INCLUDE Elena, in a list of the “Top Ten Best Damon and Elena” scenes. But the fact remains, that, from Damon’s perspective, this WAS Elena, to whom he had bared his soul, and with whom, after an entire season of trying and failing, he had finally shared a kiss. All this time, us fans always assumed that Damon did “bad things” simply because he wanted to. Now, we realize, that he did them, because he thought himself to be completely incapable of goodness. He is confused by, and uncomfortable with, his growing humanity, but at the same time, excited by it.
And Damon is excited by Elena, who for the first time, seems truly open to his advances. He kisses her tentatively at first. And then, when she doesn’t pull away, really lets himself get carried away in the moment. His hands cup her face, his fingers run through her hair. All thoughts of this awful day, escape from his head, and all that is left is love and passion.
In hindsight, we can see that “Elena” was different — that she seemed colder and more aloof, then she had in previous scenes. A few cocked eyebrows and vague responses here and there, betray Katherine’s lack of knowledge, as to what has been going on in Mystic Falls this season. She notices the change in Damon immediately, and is bit intrigued by it, especially since, all this time, she thought SHE was the only woman who held any power over him. And when they finally kiss, Katherine shows none of the extreme guilt the ever-faithful Elena would experience had she just made the decision to cheat on her vampire boyfriend.
And it’s this complexity, that makes the scene so compulsively watchable . . .
And finally . . . (drumroll please)
1) Damon returns Elena’s necklace
Episode: “Fool Me Once” – 1X14
Setting the scene: Having recently learned that Stefan and Elena have stolen the spellbook that he needs to free his love Katherine from the tomb, Damon feels hurt and betrayed. After all, the couple had promised to help him get Katherine back, and Elena had given Damon his word that their intentions were genuine. Later, Elena comes to visit an uncharacteristically broody Damon at his home, waving the metaphorical “white flag” and carrying the proverbial “olive branch.”
Potent quotables:
ELENA: “I was protecting the people I love, Damon. But so were you, in your own twisted way. As hard as it is to figure, we are all on the same side, after the same thing.”
DAMON: “Fool me once, shame on you.”
And later . . .
ELENA: “You and I, we have something. An understanding. And I know my betrayal hurt you — different than it was with Stefan. But I promise you, I will help you get Katherine back.
And still later . . .
DAMON: I didn’t compel you in Atlanta, because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I’m trusting you. Don’t make me regret it.
Why it TOPPED the list: This scene contains everything we LOVE about Damon and Elena, all rolled up into one beautiful and sexy package: the witty banter, the silent looks filled with meaning, the complex innuendos, the invasion of personal space, gentle caresses, and an admission, on both Damon’s and Elena’s parts, that their relationship is special. It travels far beyond the expected boundaries of friendship. The episode, begins with a betrayal of trust, and concludes with the ultimate exchange of trust. Elena, who has always secretly worried that Damon has been trying to compel her (how else could she explain her strong romantic feelings for him), really puts herself out there for Damon.
By taking off the vervain necklace that protects her from mind control, Elena is exposing herself completely to Damon. She might as well be standing naked before him. And Damon, who wonders whether he will ever be able to trust Elena again, has the perfect opportunity to exert ultimate power over her. And just like in Atlanta, he refuses to take that opportunity. He will not take advantage of Elena in that way. When Damon closes in on Elena, and reaches behind her to take the necklace, she is frightened and a bit aroused. All of this is evident, when, to her surprise, Damon gently clasps the necklace back around her neck.
A gentle brush of Damon’s fingers across Elena’s throat is enough to send her eyes rolling back in her head in pure ecstacy. But this scene isn’t just about sex or power. It is about love, friendship, understanding, and a willingness to let someone see you at your most vulnerable. And THAT is why this scene made Number One on my list . . .
Season 2 of the Vampire Diaries premieres Thursday, September 9th at 8 p.m. on The CW, and we all know what THAT means — more juicy Damon and Elena scenes to gush over and explore. I for one, CAN’T WAIT! Can YOU?
Why are we so fascinated by mobsters? Is it the way they talk? (“Fuhgeddaboutit!” “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse!” “Go to the mattresses.” “I amuse you? I make you laugh?”) Their funny accents? Those snazzy suits and hats they always wear?
Or perhaps it’s something deeper. After all, mafia men are loyal to a fault. They adhere to a strict code of honor. They place the institution of “family” above all else. If you really think about it, mobsters were the first, and ultimate, “bad boys.” The most successful ones are powerful, strong, sexy . . . and deadly dangerous.
So, without further adieu, here’s my list of the Top Ten Fictional Mobsters of all time . . .
10) Fat Tony – The Animated Mobster
Show of origin:The Simpsons
Played by: Joe Montegna (he does the voice)
Why he made the list:
Fat Tony is a successful amalgamation of pretty much every movie and television mobster ever invented. But he still manages to have his own unique style. It’s really hard to be intimidating when you are drawn in colored pencil, and have a face like a muppet. Yet, Fat Tony somehow manages to be genuinely menacing. Interestingly enough, the character’s appearance is based on that of an actor who frequently appears in mafia films (and was just shy of making this list).
Paul Sorvino (Now can you see the resemblance?)
9) Sonny – The Mobster with a Heart of Gold
Film of origin: A Bronx Tale
Played by: Chazz Palminteri
Why he made this list:
Sure, Sonny may have shot a man in cold blood over a parking space, but it was really to protect Joe Pesci! And, yes, Sonny beat the stuffing out of an entire biker gang, but they had been destroying family-owned bars across the country! When you really think about it, this New York mob boss was a pretty good guy, as far as racketeering murderers go. And he seemed to really care about young Calogero (“C”).
Sonny acted as a second father to C (His biological father was played by Robert De Niro, who is also on this list, TWICE. However, not for this movie, where he played a law-abiding bus driver.) He taught C the ins and outs of life, lectured him about staying in school, gave him advice on women, tried to keep him away from a life of crime, and, most importantly, saved his life. Oh, and he also taught him how to gamble. Gambling is fun!
8) Consigliere Tom Hagen – The Smart Mobster
Film of origin: The Godfather (Parts I and II)
Played by: Robert Duvall
Why he made the list:
Not all mobsters were Italian. Some were of German and Irish descent, like Tom Hagen. (Can’t you tell by the name?) Tom was an educated man, a lawyer. He acted as a sage, and mild-mannered advisor, first to Vito Corleone, and, later to his son, Michael. Despite, living and working amongst mobsters, Tom more or less managed to keep his hands clean. And while he remained loyal to The Family throughout his life, he did so without ever committing an act of violence. (Then again, he did convince that one guy to commit suicide. Not cool, Tom!)
7) Sylvio Dante – The Loyal Rocker Mobster
Played by : Steven Van Zandt
Show of origin: The Sopranos
Why he made the list:
Oh how, I love Sylvio, let me count the ways. First and foremost, he has cool Elvis hair.
And the actor who plays him rocks out with a band from my home state of NEW JERSEY! Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band, of course!
Silvio was probably the toughest muscle of Tony Soprano’s gang. However, unlike the hot-headed Paulie Walnuts (we’ll get to him later), he never lost his cool. When others came to doubt Tony’s leadership, Sylvio was unfailingly loyal. Sylvio detested rats above all else, and most of his victims were snitches and informants of some sort. (And no one likes THEM, anyway, right?)
6) Jimmy “The Greek” Conway – The Strong and Silent (but Deadly) Mobster
Film of origin: Goodfellas
Played by: Robert De Niro
Why he made this list:
Like Tom Hagen, Jimmy is an Irish mobster (although, truthfully, it’s hard to imagine De Niro as anything other than Italian). And like Silvio, he is the mild-mannered muscle of his crew. Although, Jimmy’s origin of descent prevented him from becoming a true “made man,” he never complained. While his hands may have been dirtier than anyone else’s in his Family, Jimmy never let his job diminish his sense of class and style. A
fter a big score had left them with untold riches, Jimmy cautioned his crew against dressing and behaving too ostentatiously. Oh yeah, and the dude can smoke a cigar like no one’s business . . .
5) Vito Corleone – The Old School Mobster
Film of origin: The Godfather (Parts I and II)
Played by: Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro
Why he made the list:
Honestly, how could I make a mobster list, without including the original mobster himself? Vito was the King of the Mobsters. The mobster on which all subsequent film and television mobsters are undoubtedly based. And if his character didn’t have to go and die on us at the end of the first Godfather movie (we saw him in the second one only through flashbacks), I have no doubt that he would be significantly higher on this list.
You know what? I’m not even going to tell you why Vito is so cool. I’m going to let him show you for himself . . .
4) Paulie Walnuts – The Wal – NUTS Mobster
Show of origin: The Sopranos
Played by: Tony Sirico
Why he made the list:
In short, Paulie made this list because he is bat sh*t crazy! If Silvio is the man on the Soprano’s crew you’d most want to have your back, Paulie is the one you’d most want to take out for beers. Between his kick ass one-liners, his random flip outs, and his childlike constant need for approval, hot-headed Paulie Walnuts is nothing if not entertaining. And talk about loyalty to family, the dude beat up an old lady, just because she wasn’t playing nicely with his mother! Plus, he has awesome Pepe Le Pew hair . . .
(Notice the resemblance?)
3) Tommy DeVito – The Loudmouthed Mobster
Film of origin: Goodfellas
Played by: Joe Pesci (Here’s another guy that I couldn’t dream of making a Mob Hit List without!)
Why he made the list:
I’m pretty sure, a lot of what is awesome about Paulie Walnuts was inspired by this guy. Tommy DeVito was a hotheaded sociopath, who loved killing and beating the crap out of people. In fact, he did it regularly, often for NO REASON AT ALL. Murderous tendencies aside, he seems like a pretty cool guy to spend an evening with. Just don’t call him funny . . .
2) Michael Corleone – The Reluctant Mobster
Film of origin: The Godfather (Parts I, II and III)
Played by: Al Pacino
Why he made the list?
Do you even have to ask? Michael Corleone was the quintessential mob boss. But what made him so interesting and unique was that he never wanted to be one. Born into a notorious crime family, Michael escaped his roots at the age of 18, and went on to become an Ivy League graduate, and war hero. He then married the straight-laced daughter of a Baptist minister, in hopes of becoming a law-abiding family man, with a lowercase “f.”
But Michael soon gets sucked into the Family’s web. When two nearly successful attempts are made on his father’s life, he is forced to avenge them. After his father’s death, Michael is forced to replace him as head of the Corleone crime family.
Although throughout the trilogy, Michael makes numerous attempts to legitamize the Family business, he is continually thwarted by circumstances beyond his control, as well as his growing greed and hubris. Of all our mob men’s stories, his is perhaps the most tragic. And that’s why we love him.
1) Tony Soprano – Jersey Mobster Supreme
Show of origin: The Sopranos
Played by: James Gandolfini
Why he made the list?
There are those of you out there who would undoubtedly like to give me flack for placing Tony Soprano above Michael Corleone on this list. However, I have had eight years to get to know the former, and only a few hours to get to know the latter. So, you will have to forgive me my sacrilege.
Tony Soprano remains one of the most complex characters in television history. On one hand, he is a hardened criminal, a violent and cold-blooded killer — a man who regularly cheats on his wife, who betrays his former friends and members of his family. Sure, you could probably justify his murder of Tony Blundetto as a mercy killing, a rival family was going to do him in, anyway.
And his murder of Adrianna could be called a “protective measure.” She was going to turn Tony and the rest of the Soprano family over to the FBI.
But his shocking “hands-on” murder of protégé and adoptive nephew Christopher Moltisanti during the show’s final season?
I’m scratching my head over that one . . .
On the other hand, Tony Soprano was always somewhat of a flawed every-man. He tried desperately to be a good dad to his two children, a good brother to his younger sister, and a good son to his spiteful, mean, and often unappreciative mother. And before he killed Christopher, he really did care for him like a son or younger brother (if that counts for anything). Tony also suffered from debilitating depression and panic attacks, both of which made him seem more fragile and human.
It was these physical and emotional ailments that caused Tony to seek treatment from psychiatrist Dr. Melfi. During these therapy sessions, we got to see a softer side of Tony — a side that experienced guilt and remorse over his actions, one that loved and deeply cared about those around him.
Dr. Melfi brought out the best in Tony Soprano. And even though, these two never crossed the line romantically, the intelligent interplay and sexual tension between them was extremely HOT!
This is why Tony Soprano, tops my list. And why, I REFUSE to believe that he died during that maddening fade-to-black series finale! In fact, I am so certain, that Tony merely finished his onion rings, waited until Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing finished playing on the juke box, and drove home, that I’ve decided to leave you with a video of the awesome opening credits to one of the best television series of all time.
After all, these credits show a living, cigar-smoking Tony Soprano commuting home from work on the New Jersey Turnpike. And that’s what I truly believe he will be doing tomorrow evening . . . at least in TV Land!
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