Tag Archives: be what you hate

The Family that Stakes Together . . . – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Bringing Out the Dead”

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Greetings, Fangbangers, and welcome back!  This week’s TVD installment may have been a bit low on romance, and grist for the respective Shipper Mills . . .

 . . . but, boy, did it make up for that with unparalleled Original Family Hijinks (which, of course, is the new Doppelganger Hijinks)!

Julie Plec and Co., I beg of you . .  . please give this family it’s own spinoff show . . . and while you are at it, you might want to make it a comedy.  Because these guys are friggin hilarious!

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See what I mean?

So, slip into your favorite dinner wear, and, for heaven’s sake, hide your stakes!  Because you have just been invited to the sexiest, wackiest, most jaw-dropping dinner party on this show, since . . . well . . . the last time they had a dinner party, on this show . . .

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(As always, special thanks to my spectacular screencapper Andre, who is most definitely filled with awesomesauce! ;))

Cheap and Easy Ways to Renovate Your Home – starring Elijah 

“This would make a marvelous tree ornament.”

Our bloody tale picks up, literally, right where it left off, prior to last week’s hiatus.  Damon has returned the Original Family Coffins (except for one!) to Klaus.  However, unbeknownst to the Original Hybrid at the time, one of those coffins contained a de-staked Elijah . . .

Now Klaus finds himself face-to-face with his undead brother, who is literally wearing his heart on his sleeve . . . well, someone else’s heart, actually.  To say that Elijah got up on the wrong side of the coffin, after sleeping away half the season, is an understatement, to say the least . . .

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Klaus is clearly surprised to see his brother, alive,  kicking, and KICKING HIS ASS for that whole “murder and storage” thing.  Now, as we all know, apologies have never exactly been Klaus’ strong suit.  And while a simple, “I’m sorry I murdered you, and carted your rotting body around in a coffin for over 12 episodes,” would certainly have been in order . . . Klaus, instead, offers his very irate brother a cheeky, “Hey, at least I reunited you with your family, like you asked!”

But as jovial as Klaus might be, he has very limited patience for people who (1) don’t laugh at his jokes; (2) question his commitment to “family;” and (3) prefer other’s company to his own.  When people disappoint Klaus in this way, he does what any rational human being would do in such a situation: DRIVE A STAKE THROUGH THEIR HEART . . .

However, since Damon currently has the stake that originally came out of Elijah, Klaus is forced to “recycle” the one currently enmeshed in his brother Kol.  

Tell the mortician to ease up on the face makeup next time.  I look like a vampire.  Oh . .. er . . . nevermind.”

Elijah then gently reminds his sibling that, since Kol  has been dead at Klaus’ hand for over 100 years, there’s a good chance his wrath against the Original Hybrid will be even worse than Elijah’s.  Klaus ultimately re-daggers Kol, and opts for a change in tactics . . .

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You know what they say, “If at first you don’t succeed . . . try begging.”

Ultimately, Elijah decides to hear his brother out.  It can’t hurt, right?  After all, he does still want to be reunited with his family.  And if Klaus tries to betray him again, Elijah can always go back to redecorating the mansion, by tossing his brother’s body into various parts of it . . .

Meanwhile, over at the Gilbert house . . .

Alcoholism:  Because expressing your true feelings is hard.  But it doesn’t have to be . . .

Alaric and his erstwhile foster kid, Elena, have very different ideas of what constitutes clean living.  For Elena, clean living means waking up early for a morning jog, and having a bowl of fruit for breakfast.  For Alaric, clean living means taking a shower, after you’ve polished off nearly an entire bottle of scotch.  

This is likely one of the reasons that he and Damon get along so very well . . .

Damon’s a big fan of drinking and nakedness personal hygiene, as well!

In addition to clearly being a “morning person,” Elena get some props for keeping her judgy side at bay, even after Alaric admits to (1) being massively hungover; and (2) having drunk dialed his new Doomed-to-Die-a-Very-Painful-Death girlfriend, Crazy Nanny Carrie, the night before .  . .

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Well .  . . mostly at bay.

This super cute exchange is interrupted by a knock on the door.  It’s Lizard Forbes, a woman who’s idea of clean living is putting a bloody murder weapon in a plastic baggy, before returning it to its rightful owner.  

“In addition to murder weapons, I also sell bibles!”

That’s right, Fangbangers!  Remember that adorably dead medical examiner from a couple week’s back?

“Hi!”

Well, apparently, he was killed by a stake from Alaric’s collection . . . one that conveniently contained only Elena’s prints on it.  (Or Vampire Katherine’s . . . isn’t it conceivable that the two Petrova Doppelgangers would have identical fingerprints?  Just a theory.)  Of course, Lizard doesn’t suspect Alaric or Elena, which makes her a very understanding person, but also a Really Sh*tty Cop.

 OK . . . I take back the “understanding” part . . .

If this was Law and Order, both Alaric and Elena would be dragged down to the station for questioning faster than you could say, “Is that a stake in your chest, or are you just really happy to see me?”

Elena the Vampire Founder’s Council Slayer?

In which it was finally revealed that Damon Salvatore is actually Gossip Girl . . .

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Those of you who read my Gossip Girl recaps, know that I am still not entirely convinced that Georgina Sparks is actually Gossip Girl.  To be honest, she simply doesn’t seem adept enough at snarky wordplay to pull it off.  Damon Salvatore, on the other hand, is a spectacular wordsmith!

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Take for example,  his super quippy initial response to Elena’s phone call regarding the incriminating murder weapon in question . . .

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(By the way, Elena really shouldn’t put Damon on speaker phone.  It vastly increases the chance that Alaric will learn the truth about the couple’s budding phone sex relationship.)

“I love it when you talk dirty.”

Elena doesn’t think the Mystic Falls Murderer is Alaric’s girlfriend . . . but only because she’s been too busy running away from Klaus,  and making out with Damon to watch One Tree Hill or Pretty Little Liars.

Brush up on your pop culture, girlfriend.  It might just save your life . . .

Elena actually thinks the murderer might be Stefan, despite the fact that her ex  has absolutely no rational motive for staking a perfectly good meal, which the medical examiner clearly was despite the formaldehyde smell, of course, and leaving it completely uneaten.

Oh, Mr. Former Bunny Muncher . . . how the mighty hath fallen . .  .

Speaking of Mighty, Damon cuts his flirty phone conversation with Elena and Alaric short, to meet with one of the most powerful vampires in the world.  Of course, I’m referring to the newly awakened Elijah.  Honestly, if I were Elena, I’d be a bit concerned, because the sexual  tension between these two men is fierce!  I mean, Damon is already leaving flirty Gossip Girl style messages in Elijah’s underwear clothing, signed with hugs and kisses. . .

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“I’m here.  Let’s talk,”  says Elijah gruffly, as he moves in mere inches from Damon Salvatore’s chiseled face, and dreamy crystalline blue eyes.  “Talk” . . . is that what the kids are calling it, nowadays? 😉

DAMON: “Just so you know, I am a VERY good ‘talker.’  In fact, just last night, Elena was complimenting me VERY LOUDLY about what a good ‘talker,’ I am.”

Speaking of “talking,” Elena kindly confronts Stefan, with her theory that he’s a serial killer, which, clearly he IS . . .  He’s just happens not to be the one running around plopping Alaric’s stakes in people’s chests.  (Eating off their heads, and gluing them back on to their bodies, is much more his style.)

Stefan, of course, is super offended by the notion that a bloodthirsty vampire like himself would do something as evil as KILLING HUMANS. *clears throat*  Even more offensive to Stefan is the fact that Elena is accusing him, as opposed to . . . you know . . . the other vampire with whom she sometimes plays tonsil hockey . . .

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*whistles uncomfortably*  

The Bennett Family:  Witches or Locksmiths of the Dead?

“Bippity Bobbity Boo?”

So, was I the only one having Bad Flashbacks of Poor Dead Grams, when Bonnie and Abby were holding hands and doing the whole “let’s open a coffin with our minds” thing?  In the past “communal spells” meant people DIED . . .

 . . . and “solo spells” meant nosebleeds for Bonnie.  

Now, it seems like both of those things are plot lines of the past .  . . which, I guess, is a good thing, if you like Mama Bennett / want her to stick around for awhile, and a bad thing, if you don’t . . .

*whistles uncomfortably*

Poor Mama Bennett wasn’t having a particularly great life episode.   Both Stefan and Bonnie were riding her ass to “just buck up and BE MAGICAL ALREADY, dammit.”

“The old lady did it, so why can’t you, you lazy ass!”

Bonnie even added a fresh layer of guilt to her judgment.  “You clearly suck as a mom, and a human being.  So, please try not to suck at this too,” she said . . . more or less.

Cue more creepy chanting, and flickering candles in Fourth Coffin’s New Hiding Place: The Tomb of the Damned.  “It’s working!”  Bonnie exclaims, excitedly about the new “Family Unbinding Spell” the two are testing out.   “This would be a really good time for me to  go call Damon, and leave you alone with the thing that is SO dangerous, the Biggest Baddest Super Villain on this show decided it needed to be locked up.  

“I’ll be right baaaaaaaaack.”  Hopefully, by then, you will be as dead as our relationship, Mommy Dearest.”  Bonnie adds, before skipping up the steps, joyfully.

(Does no one on this show watch horror movies?)

Of course, it should surprise positively no one that the coffin bursts open, the minute Bon-Bon exits stage left.  Be afraid, Mama Bennett!  Be VERY afraid . . .

Come to Mystic Falls:  It may only have one bar / social establishment, but it has multiple serial killers.  So, SUCK IT, VEGAS!

“Y’all come back from the dead now, ya hear?”

Caroline’s at the hospital making small talk with Crazy Nanny Carrie, who’s bedside manner is for sh*t . . .

The purpose of this conversation is two-fold.  For starters, she wants to pick up her now vampire-blood infused, vampire hating daddy.  For finishers, she wants to investigate the extent of Crazy Nanny’s sanity, on her bestie, Elena’s, behalf.

“So, have you ever played a character who actually WASN’T a murderer?”

Caroline comes to the conclusion that Crazy Nanny is normal, which only shows that becoming supernatural has done nothing to improve Caroline’s judgment regarding humans.

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But Caroline’s vampire mojo DOES have it’s perks.  Using her super sensitive vampy hearing, Caroline picks up the sound of her father’s phone.  And this, in turn, allows her to find her father lying dead in the medical supply closet at the hospital . . . wait for it . . . staked in the heart with one of Alaric’s weapons.

“So, THAT’S why my stomach’s been killing me!”

I know it probably makes me seem like a heartless b*tch to say this . . . especially in light of what happened later in this storyline.  But I thought it was pretty funny that Elena had to explain to Caroline that her father (who had died with vampire blood in his system) was now turning into a bloodsucker.  Whereas, Caroline . . . the actual bloodsucker, was completely clueless.  I mean, I guess you could argue that she was in shock, and couldn’t think straight.  But still . . .

Cue the gasps, wheezes and hacking coughs, as the man who hates vampires so much that he was willing to burn his own daughter to excise the “evil creature” from her body, comes back from the dead, craving blood.  Ahh, irony . . . gotta love it.  Papa Douche . . . wait  . . . sorry, he’s dead, so I can’t bad mouth him anymore Forbes ultimately decides that he would rather not feed and commit suicide than become like his kid.

Awww . . . a father / daughter bonding moment.  How sweet!

Meanwhile, Elena heads home to tell Alaric how they almost became suspects to another murder.  Alaric soon realizes that Crazy Nanny Carrie had access to and knowledge of both of the murder weapons.  In other words, it’s time to bust this murderous b*tch!

Or is it?

In which Caroline Forbes makes us cry . . . again.

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Poor Caroline!  Just because your dad can be a toolbox, doesn’t mean you won’t miss him when he’s gone .  . . particularly when you feel like, you, personally could prevent his death.  “I’ll force him to feed,” says Caroline resolutely to her bestie Elena.

Well, as you might have suspected, Elena has something to say about that . . .

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Hey Elena, did you ever think that, perhaps, JEREMY might feel the same way you do about issues of “personal choice?”  Just a thought . . .

Elena then brings up the absentee Tyler, which kind of seems like adding insult to injury.  I mean, come on, it’s not bad enough that the girl is about to be father-less, you want to remind her that she’s boyfriend-less too?

That said, it seems surprising, not to mention, more than a bit unrealistic, that Tyler wouldn’t respond to Caroline’s calls regarding a parental death.  For one thing, Tyler, who, not too long ago, lost his own morally ambiguous father, could absolutely relate to the conflicting feelings the person expresses, following the death.  

For another, you would think, considering how much Tyler loves Caroline, that he would come running to her, the minute she showed signs of breaking her silent treatment with him.

But alas . . . he didn’t.  (Perhaps, he’s off trying to master that whole “wolfing out without pain,” thing . . . you know . . . the one CAROLINE’S DAD taught him how to do?  If so, why haven’t we at least seen him shirtless this week?   HUH?  HUH?)

Anyway, of course, now Caroline is wondering if her ex is the murderer.  She reasons that, perhaps, Tyler had done it as one of his sire’s orders.  But Elena disagrees.  “I’m the only one who can accuse MY ex boyfriend of unspeakable acts,” says Elena, more or less.

Then, there’s some heartfelt talk between Caroline and Elena, about what it’s like to be in the “Dead Dad’s Club.”  (Elena is club president!)  Cue the entrance of  Matt, who’s character I’ve been enjoying so much more, ever since he lost the Judgy Personality Chip.

Weed . . . it makes you more likeable . . .

That said, I’m starting to feel like Matt’s whole function as a character has recently been reduced to Resident Hugger, and Cheerleader for Team Ex Girlfriend   . . .

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“Haha, he thinks now that Tyler is gone, he actually has a chance.  But I’m the one who installed a honing device on her panties . . . .”

Speaking of Caroline’s panties, she really grows some balls (not that she necessarily lacked them, in the first place.), when she confronts her now, clearly, dying father with a simple, but gut-wrenching, plea that he not leave her . . .

 

When “tears and emotions” don’t convince Papa Forbes to fight for his life, Caroline tries a few other tactics:  (1) first flattery.  (“You can do this.  You are the strongest person I now”); (2) then guilt (“Do you really hate me [and what I’ve become] that much?”) Caroline wonders.

I’ve long admired Candice Accola as an actress.   But she really blew me away, in this episode.  Her raw reactions to her erstwhile absentee dad’s untimely passing were both heartbreaking, and refreshingly real.  In fact, Candice’s acting ability elevated a story line that had the real potential to be boring and maudlin into a captivating dramatic piece.

BRAVO!

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But back to the story, I’m really glad, for Caroline’s sake that she got her father to admit that he loved her, was proud of her, and thought she was a good person, despite the fact that she was an “icky vampire.”  Had Papa Forbes not said this to Caroline, I suspect it would have haunted her for the rest of eternity.  At least. this way, she can begin down the long and windy path of “closure.”

Adios, Papa Douche . . . as it turns out, you weren’t nearly as big of an asshat as we initially assumed you were . . .

Bloodsucker, Party of Four . . .

Back at La Casa de Rich and Awesome, Damon tells a shirtless, and recently showered Stefan, that it’s time to put a big ole smile on his face, and play nice with the Originals, in order to buy Bonnie some time to open Coffin Number Four with her mind.  Stefan and his recent perma-scowl face don’t want to attend.  He’d much rather stay home and mope over the fact that Damon and Elena recently exchanged smoochies, thank you very much.  

Stefan also doesn’t trust Elijah, who ended up MAJORLY screwing the Scooby Gang over, during their first round of Kill Klaus Games.

The massive role reversal between these two brothers is  highly apparent, in this scene.  Last season, it was Damon perma-scowling and Elijah distrusting (with good reason, as it turns out). Meanwhile, Season 2’s kinder, gentler more boring, Stefan was begging his brother to keep the peace, for Elena’s sake.

As for the kiss in question, Damon reminds Stefan that HE, Damon, is not the enemy in this situation.  Rather, it’s Klaus’ fault is for making Stefan Bad!Stefan, thereby tossing Elena right into Damon’s arms, in the first place.  

Touche, Damon Sexy Pants!  And yet Delena fans well know, that even without Stefan’s newfound douchiness, Elena’s mouth would have found her way onto Damon’s, anyway.  After all, it wasn’t exactly the first time the two of them kissed . . .

So, off the Salvatore Brother’s head to Klaus’ newly renovated, and now slightly banged-up, home, for a sit down dinner.  And I’ve gotta say, I was shocked that he served actual food!  (Though, of course, I wasn’t the least bit surprised that he devoured one of the blonde barbie types waiting by the table for dessert.  We all know how much Klaus likes his blondes . . .)

Speaking of eating people, Grumpy Stefan childishly made a point to remind everybody at the party that HE didn’t want to break bread with the Originals.  He’d much prefer to negotiate some terms, and leave, as soon as possible.  And to this rudeness, Klaus offers the Best Comeback, EVER!

 “We can sit and eat, or I can reach down your throats, and pull out your insides.  The choice is yours.”

Ahhh, cannibalism jokes on vampire shows.   They just never get old, do they?

I mentioned earlier that Damon and Elijah illustrate their latent sexual attraction to one another, through personal space invasions, sexy smiles, winks, and oh-so-obvious eye f*&king.  But Klaus and Stefan have a much longer history with one another.  (You just KNOW something had to have gone down between these two during that long hot Ripper Summer!)  So, of course, their sexual tension comes in the form of saucy verbal jabs, and naughty teases.

Klaus and Stefan definitely know how to push one another’s buttons.  Stefan begins the game by inquiring after Rebekah, who Stefan knows full well is still staked, despite the fact that Elena returned her body to Klaus weeks ago.  “She’s still daggered, because you couldn’t face her,” Stefan observes viciously. (Stefan Salvatore would make an EXCELLENT mean girl.)

Oddly enough, it’s Damon who attempts to put this verbal jousting to bed, with this hilarious remark .   . .

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Elijah definitely approves, and so do I.  Stefan has been off the hook way too long for eating his father, in what might very well have been one of the most disturbing and nauseating flashbacks in TVD history.  

It’s high time someone called him out on that little “performance.”  And who better to do that than his own brother?

Speaking of insults, Elijah unintentionally shoots one Stefan’s way, by inquiring after Elena, who, last time Elijah checked, was still Stefan’s lover.

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AWK-WARD!  Klaus is just loving the crap out of this exchange.  And once again, Damon is forced to try and keep the peace, by deeming the topic of Elena not appropriate for meal time . . .

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But just because Elena is off limits, doesn’t mean ALL Petrova Doppelgangers are.  Elijah, ever the gracious host, entertains the table with the tale of “Tatiya” i.e. NotCharlotte, a girl who lived in their village, and despite being deemed a bit slutty, for already being “with child” was loved by all, most notably Klaus and Elijah.  And, much like the Salvatore Brothers, the pair fought viciously over the little chicky who resembled Nina Dobrev.

ELIJAH: “I should win her heart, I have better hair.”

Not surprisingly, it was their fighting that prompted Mikael to kill Tatiya, and force the brothers to drink her blood, when being turned into vampires.  It was also Klaus’ love for Tatiya that prompted Klaus’ mother to include her essence in the binding spell of Klaus’ hybrid nature.  Talk about history repeating . . .

But for me, the most interesting part of this dinner party, was the negotiation session, in which both sets of brothers made offers to the other to ensure a “lasting peace.”  Damon’s offer was much what we would have expected:  the Fourth coffin, in exchange for Elena no longer being a blood bag.

Klaus said “no deal.”  After all, he needs Elena’s blood to make hybrids, and without hybrids, Klaus, adorable as he might be, has no friends . . .

But Klaus’ offer was interesting, to say the least.  He argued that what would ultimately be best for Elena would be for Klaus to ensure her a “normal” human life . . .  married to someone like Matt, wherein she would pop out a bunch of puppies, thereby ensuring the continuation of the Petrova Doppelganger line . . .  Klaus further conjectured that the alternative would result in Elena either dying very young, or being turned into a vampire relatively soon .  . .

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The significance of the statement is not lost on the two brothers, both of whom, above all, want Elena to be happy.  And while most TVD fans would not prefer an endgame, in which Elena was compelled to forget about vampires, and live out a dull Stepford life in Mystic Falls, with the sweet, but not overly exciting Matt, this was actually a notion Elena herself had considered back when Damon had force fed her his blood in “The Last Day.”  Plus, if Elena’s words to Caroline, regarding her father are any indication, the new Petrova Doppelganger’s feelings regarding becoming a vampire have not yet changed.

And when Stefan rises to shake Klaus’ hand, symbolically accepting his offer, there’s a split second, wherein I actually believe he is being genuine.   But Klaus, is apparently, more savvy than I am, because he doesn’t believe it for one second . . .

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Damon immediately moves to his brother’s aid, as Klaus pushes him frighteningly close to the fire, his fingers already beginning to burn.  But Elijah holds the Elder Salvatore back . . . in a show of brotherly solidarity . . . or just as part of the overall plan?  We’ll find out soon enough . . .

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Either way, it seems for the moment, that Klaus, once again, has the upper hand . . .

Speaking of hands . . .

Because Useless Aunt Jenna (R.I.P.) isn’t the only one capable of inviting super villains to the Gilbert House . . .

“Hey Alaric.  How many times do I have to tell you to wash your hands before touching the walls?  I’m not your MAID!”

Elena and Matt arrive home to an eerily dark apartment covered with bloody hand prints and footprints.  It’s a truly disturbing scene.  

And since Matt is one of those character’s whose fate is never entirely safe on this show, it’s one of those few times on TVD, when you are really worried about something bad happening.  And then it does . . .

It’s not long before Elena finds Alaric . . . wait for it . . . stabbed in the stomach, likely because the serial killer knew he turned the weapons over to Lizard Forbes, along with evidence against Meredith Fell, who was “in surgery at the time.”  

An obviously dying (Seriously, this guy must die EVERY OTHER EPISODE) Alaric explains, just as Bill Forbes did before him, that never saw his assailant.  Of course, this is odd, considering the fact that, if the bloody footprints and hand prints are any indication, the pair fought their way throughout the entire house.  Something stinks here . . .

The problem, of course (aside from the obvious), is that Alaric’s on-the-blink Ugly Ass Ring of Immortality only works when Alaric is killed by a supernatural creature.  And since Alaric isn’t sure who did this to him, there’s a good chance he might bleed out and die, before he ever gets to the hospital  So, there’s only one thing for the “supernatural” Petrova Doppelganger to do . . . kill Alaric, herself . . .

I must say, I’m impressed!  The Elena we used to know would have hemmed, hawed and cried about this for about twenty minutes, and Alaric probably would have died, while he waited for her to grow some balls.  But New Warrior Princess Elena, stabs Alaric with a surprising amount of gusto.  Poor Matt looks horrified, as he should be . . .

Just realized that every single solitary character on this show is capable of kicking his ass . . .

Then, the murderous Elena tearfully asks Matt to wait with her, while Alaric decides whether he’s going to come back to life this time.  “I can’t lose any more family,” exclaims Elena, finally breaking down, for the first time in the hour.

Matt agrees to wait with Elena,  rather than comforting Caroline, who’s father, as we just learned is Definitely Dead.  Seriously?  Everybody . . . chooses Elena, except Tyler and Klaus, of course . . . or a doppelganger, who looks like her.  It’s actually rather frustrating, sometimes . . .

Ultimately, Alaric awakens at the last minute, Phew!  But hey, if he’s going to keep dying every week like this, he should really get a tune-up on that ring . . . not to mention, invest in some life insurance.  Can you imagine if the kindly history teacher received a payout for EACH time he died?  The dude would be richer than Klaus! 😉

Because watching attractive people beat the crap out of one another never, EVER, gets old . . .

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So, for a while there, it was looking like Elijah screwed over our Salvatore Brothers TWICE in a row, didn’t it?  But remember that Elijah did what he did the first time around, for the opportunity to see his family.  And now that he knows they are all just a stake pull away from being a live and well . . . well, all bets are off.

In what very well might have been my favorite scene in the entire episode, Elijah and his new boyfriend return to the Klaus House, not with the Magical Fourth Coffin, as previously promised, but, rather, with . . . dessert . . .

And by “dessert,” of course, I mean the daggers previously immobilizing not one, not two, but THREE of Klaus’ and Elijah’s dear siblings: the newbies (to us anyway) Kol and Finn, and, of course, the recently daggered Rebekah.  To say the sexy threesome is displeased with their brother for . . . umm . . . keeping them imprisoned for, in some cases, as many as 1,000 years, is the understatement of the century.  Cue the Familial Ass Kicking!

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We’ve seen Klaus pout, and cry, and rage before, when things didn’t go his way.  But this was really the first time we got to see him truly, and completely BEATEN UP AND REJECTED.  That’s right, fangbangers, Elijah and Co. are not exactly down with a Klaus Family Reunion that will most certainly end with one or all of them, back in their safe little boxes, once they do something to displease their Alpha Male brother. 

“You are free to go,” says Elijah — ever the gracious host — to his new boyfriend and Stefan.  “This is family business.”

Why yes, Elijah . . . indeed it is . .

Speaking of family business, Stefan and Damon have some of that of their own to do.  Walking home from Klaus House, Stefan actually COMPLIMENTS Damon for a job well done on the whole de-staking the Originals thing . . . and, of course, the whole “saving his life” thing.  Damon is only slightly smug in his response.  After all, he still feels he owes Stefan for all HIS life saving of Damon . . . most notably, the “life-saving of Damon” thing that ended with Stefan temporarily becoming Klaus’ b*tch, and possibly permanantly becoming Bad!Stefan.

Oh, but lest you think our sexy vampire brothers are ready to kiss and make up, this happened . .

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It was such a short, quiet, exchange between too men, with a loooooong history of loving the same women.  Two men who haven’t exactly adopted the “bros before hoes” / “Family above all” maxim.  (Not that it exactly seemed to help those guys all that much.  After all, there are plenty of other things brothers can fight about, aside from women.)  And yet, as vampires, they certainly understand the importance of having someone by your side for the rest of eternity.

In the past, I think Damon would have probably heard Stefan’s declaration of love for Elena, and backed off . . . cow towing to the so-called “Good Brother,” as he has so many times in the past.  But despite the fact that Damon still thinks he “owes” Stefan for certain sacrifices the latter has made on his behalf, things have changed now between them.  They have changed.  And it is very clear that, although the two may form temporary truces between one another, in furtherance of a common interest, Elena will likely always come between them. 

Back at Klaus house, a mutiny is being played out amongst the ranks of the Original Family, and Klaus is on the losing end.  His brothers and sisters have decided to seek vengeance against him in the most effective way they know how, through ABANDONMENT.  After all, Klaus has purportedly done all of this, simply out of a fear of being alone.  So, for Klaus ,the thought of finally having his family reunited with one another, while he is still left to his own devices is just about the worst thing that can happen to him.  “I’ll hunt you down,” Klaus threatens, his eyes filled with tears.

“And then you will become the thing you hate the worst,” retorts Klaus.  “Father.”

Oooh!  Now, that one had to hurt.

But lest you think all is lost for Klaus, he is about to get a hail Mary.  Back at the tomb, Stefan and Damon find an open Magical Fourth Coffin, surrounded by an unconscious Abby and Bonnie.  The coffin, of course, is empty.

So, who was inside?  Why the Original Mother / Original Witch -Turned-Vampire, of course!  I guess Klaus didn’t kill her at all.  Rather, he turned her and kept her in storage, along with the rest of his siblings.  How very thoughtful of him!

Why hasn’t her dress biodegrated yet?

So, of course, when Mommy Dearest enters stage left, all of the Originals along with, I suspect, a majority of the viewing public are preparing for the most excellent of Mommy / Son smackdowns.  After all, if there is any instance at all, in which child abuse is warranted, this is probably it.  Am I right?

“Awww, Klausipoo, do you need a diaper change?”

But NOPE!  Mommy Dearest is all about hearts, flowers, forgiveness, and family reunions. 

To be honest, I’m a little disappointed, as I was really looking forward to more, good old fashioned Vampire Fight Club-esque ass kicking.

But hey, if it weren’t for Mommy, we probably wouldn’t be treated to next week’s BALLROOM DANCE EXTRAVAGANZA, now would we?

It WOULD be rude not to dance, Delena . . . especially when you are both so incredibly good at it . . .

 

Are a fan of Delena?  Stelena?  Klaroline?  Pretty dresses?  Hot men in suits?  Perhaps, you just have a “Cinderella Fetish?”  If you answered yes to any of these questions, something tells me you are going to adore next week’s TVD installment, entitled “Dangerous Liaisons.”  If you haven’t seen them already, you can check out the extended trailer here . . .

 . . . the Canadian trailer here . . .

 . . . and the new love triangle-y webclip, here . . .

And that’s all I’ve got for this week.  But something tells me, you and I are going to have PLENTY to talk about between now and next Thursday.  See you soon, Fangbangers!

 [www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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