Caleb must have accidentally slipped a video from his personal porn collection into the “A” attachment . . .
The Truth hurts sometimes, My Pretties! And for a group of characters, who have become rather accustomed to spending their lives tiptoeing from one lie to the next, sometimes the pain of facing real, honest-to-goodness, truth can be just about unbearable. In “Breaking the Code,” all of our PLL girls were forced to confront some pretty ugly truths, both about themselves, and about the people they loved. How they react to this knowledge will undoubtedly shape the events of these crucial upcoming weeks, as we get closer and closer to finally figuring out the identity of “A”!
So head on over to your favorite abandoned law firm, drink some tequila shots with the hottest doctor in town, and plan a tea party with your mom and boyfriend, because it’s time for another Pretty Little Recap . . .
“Did I catch you in the middle of a nap?”
That Mona! For a girl who supposedly became Queen B, around the time Princess Ali kicked the bucket, she sure does get the short end of the Friend Stick, where Hanna is concerned.
Between her endless “A” investigations, dramatic family issues, and regular interludes of sex on Spencer’s Nana’s couch with Caleb, it seems as though Hanna constantly has better things to do, than to go shopliftping with Mona. This, of course, makes Mona’s receipt of text messages from “A” seem more than a bit convenient, don’t you think?
Now, suddenly, Mona has something else to talk to Hanna about, aside from whether she should wear pure silk or a poly blend to some party. And it’s a good thing too, because life sure seems to be distracting Hanna from the “important things,” lately. “Did I catch you in the middle of a nap?” Mona inquires, when Hanna isn’t giving Mona’s new clothing “purchases” the attention the latter feels they deserve.
You know what DOES get Hanna’s attention though . . . Mona’s admission that “A” has been feeding her intel about Hanna’s mom and Deputy Douchey, that’s what! You know, like, for example pictures of the two of them making sweet, sweet love IN FRONT OF AN OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW (Because that’s precisely the place you take all your secret lovers, right?) . . . and police reports about Hanna shoplifting that were expunged, after Mama Marin and Deputy Douchey made sweet, sweet love IN FRONT OF AN OPEN BEDROOM WINDOW.
“Are you looking at my bum? You dirty bum-looker!”
This is some pretty damaging stuff! (Not as damaging as the fact that Mama Marin stole money a dead lady, mind you, but pretty damaging nonetheless.) Now, suddenly, Hanna is very, very interested in what Mona has to say, indeed . . .
Of course, this is PLL, not Gossip Girl. So, when “A” shares information with you, it’s not just as an FYI. Usually there’s a catch involved to knowing certain things, even if you weren’t interested in knowing them in the first place. Now, “A” is threatening Mona to rat out Mama Marin, or SHE will be the one put under fire for her own pretty little shoplifting habit!
“Moi?”
What’s Mona going to do? Sell out her bestie, in order to ensure her own safety? It’s not really Hanna’s place to say. But Mona’s confession does put her in a really awkward position with her friend . . . not to mention, make her feel EXTREMELY guilty.
Fortunately for Hanna, Mona ends up being loyal, and turning herself in for shoplifting instead . . .
I don’t believe it either, Hanna.
. . . an act of valor which results in her getting to do some PLL-themed community service, like all the other characters in our story.
(Poor Mona! And she would have been such a good crisis center call responder too . . . such sensitivity to those less fortunate than herself!)
It also earns Mona a spot at the PLL girl’s lunch table . . . an honor she’s been denied, multiple times in the past. The invitation in question, comes after Mona gets yet another threat from “A,” this time on an apple, of all things.
If I were “A”, I would have probably just written “bite me.” But I guess this works too . . .
Hmmm . . . on one hand, I’m happy to see Mona finally getting treated right by Hanna, and accepted into the fold, by the other girls. She really has come a long way from that girl who ripped up, poured soda on, and tossed out, Caleb’s first declaration of love for Hanna.
And yet, if Mona DID end up being “A,” wouldn’t her sudden receipt of text messages, and act of valor involving Hanna be the PERFECT ALIBI, not to mention a great way to get in close with her victims, and mine them for additional information. (“Keep your friends close . . . and all that.)
I hope I’m wrong. But it’s all starting to look mighty suspicious to me. Speaking of suspicious . . .
“I’m The MONEY!”
I just love when Spencer goes into Law and Order mode! Her tough-girl rendition of, “I’m the money,” when that creepy Jonah dude met with her and Aria to give them tracer information on the cell phone from whom Ali was getting calls, nearly had me in hysterics. Too bad they spent $2,000 of Jason’s money, and only got themselves one stinky address. (I could of told them, the call was from a prepaid cell phone!)
Though the girls initially plan to seek out the address in question immediately, they can’t because Police Boy Garrett is watching them . . . Correction: he’s ALWAYS watching them! And we wonder why so many bad things happen in Rosewood to the teenage population! It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that all the cops in town are too busy stalking their underage ex girlfriend’s enemies, or diddling the parents of crime suspects, now could it?
Eventually though, the girls manage to give Police Boy the slip long enough to stake out the address. And it ends up belonging to an old abandoned law firm, and the CREEPIEST LOOKING OLD GUY EVER! Seriously, I’m talking Freddy Krueger levels of frightening.
“That’s not A!” Captain Obvious Emily remarks, as the pair dash away from this oldster, and escape the abandoned, but not entirely forgotten, premises.
But wouldn’t it be hilarious, if that was “A”. Just the idea of this guy sending Mean Girl text messages to Emily, and scrawling threatening letters to Mona on an apple is enough to make me giggle . . .
As much as Jonah’s Ice Cold Tip might have seemed like a red herring at first, the law firm in question actually ends up being linked to not one, but two, characters on the show . . . one of whom is pretty close to the top of the “A” suspect list. For starters, it’s the law firm that represented Mama Marin in her divorce from Papa Marin.
Second, it’s where MELISSA HASTINGS interned, back when she was a student.
But the bigger question for me is, why the hell did the firm shut down, in the first place? Most law firms don’t just close up shop over night, and sell their real estate to creepy, Freddy Krueger-looking old guys. Something pretty bad must have gone down at that firm, in order for this to occur . . . just sayin . . .
“The first time I saw you, I just thought, ‘Damn!'”
Ahhh, now for my absolute FAVORITE part of this episode. While continuing to decode A’s cell phone, Caleb unearths another piece of the same video taken from Ali’s room, that we’ve been viewing part and parcel, for weeks now. Up until this point, we’ve always assumed that the NAT club was sent scattering from the room, because Ali herself was returning there. But, as it turns out, the person from whom the NAT club was running wasn’t Ali at all . . . it was . . . wait for it . . . a TOTALLY PSYCHO-looking Melissa. Seriously, girlfriend looked full scale Crazy Nanny Carrie in those video shots!
(I know I keep using them, but I just love these pll-ichats. They are hilarious!)
No wonder the PLL girls were screaming so loud! Crazy Face Melissa could give Freddy Krueger looking old guy a real run for his money, in the evil entrances department. The rest of the girls, of course, want to turn the video over to the police right away . . .Now, this seems a bit moronic, if you ask me. After all, how many times are these girls going to give up the goods to the police department, before they realize that the Rosewood PD is (a) completely useless, (b) always ends up using the information against the girls, and (c) is probably working for “A.”
Aside from that, stomping into someone’s bedroom angrily, far from makes you a killer. Then again, she does look pretty f*&king crazy in that picture. Anyone could see that . . . well, except for maybe Blind Jenna.
Inappropriate?
Not wanting to turn in her pregnant sister to the cops, so soon after (1) her husband died / killed himself / was murdered; (2) she got into a car accident and almost lost the baby; and (3) she just found out that her parents have an illegitimate child she used to enjoy making out with, Spencer begs the rest of the girls for another 24 hours, to talk to Melissa, and get HER side of the story, before they turn her in.
Here’s the thing about Melissa. I kind of think her being “A” is too obvious, especially since she was painted pretty firmly in the suspect corner this week. And, remember, we still have at least two episodes left in the season, before we learn A’s true identity. What I do think about Melissa though, is that she might have been the one Ali was blackmailing with information about Jason’s paternity. There was just something about the way Melissa acted early on in the episode when that information was revealed, just didn’t strike me as that genuine.
The blackmail option would also explain Melissa’s angry presence in Ali’s room, on the night she died . . .
As for Spencer, the possible guilt of her sister isn’t the only harsh truth she has to face, in this week’s episode. She also learns that Aria’s been lying to her about not seeing Fitzy, when, in actuality, the two were sucking face on a weekly basis, the whole time Spencer was whining to her about the loss of Toby.
Then, to make matters worse, when Spencer goes to meet Melissa at a local bar, to discuss her appearance on the tape (Yes, because a bar is an absolutely GREAT place for an underage girl and a pregnant woman to meet!) . . .
. . . Melissa BLATANTLY ditches her for Police Boy Garrett, of all people. Worse yet, Spencer WATCHES her do it, and lie about it, from the window of the bar!
(Rumor has it, these two have been spending A LOT of time together. It was even implied, during the episode, that Melissa’s current spawn, might actually belong to the Policeboy. Crazy Eyes sure does get around, doesn’t she?)
Just kidding . . . please don’t kill me.
Is it any wonder that, by the end of the night, an emotionally exhausted Spencer is ready to get totally snockered on tequila with Dr. McSexypants himself, Wren?
I know I’d do it, if I were her! After engaging in some innocent bar flirting, Wren ends up taking Spencer back to his place, where she drinks even more, and starts drunkenly seducing the older man, like it’s her job!
“The first time I saw you, I thought, DAMNNNNN,” coos Spencer in Wren’s ear, as she shimmy shakes around him like a dancer in a burlesque show.
(That’s funny. This is exactly how I reacted, the first time Wren was on MY TV screen. Go figure!)
It’s rather impressive, actually. Then the pair share a pretty adorable conversation about which one of them is more screwed up / comes from a more screwed up family. (Hint: Wren don’t even bother, Spencer’s got it in the bag!) During the conversation, Spencer admits to being a competitive perfectionist (duh!), even when it comes to yoga. As for Wren, apparently he’s so OCD about organizing his books alphabetically, that when Spencer teasted him about having an Aristotle book out of place (What kind of twenty-something actually owns a book by Aristotle? Oh Wren, it’s a good thing you’re so hot!), he actually stopped macking with Spencer to stare at his bookshelf. Silly boy!
Skewed priorities aside, the chemistry between Wren and Seduction Mode Spencer (it’s always the straight-laced ones that end up being the craziest drunks) was white hot! And what was even white hotter, was the fact that Wren, despite clearly be tempted, ultimately played the part of a gentleman, by not taking advantage of Spencer, in her vulnerable situation.
He did, however, let her sleep on his couch, and offer her an invitation to return, whenever she likes. They tongue kissed to seal the deal, of course.
Wren might not want to take advantage of Spencer. But something tells me Spencer will be taking advantage of that body of Wren’s very, VERY soon. Can you blame her?
In other news, Melissa finally decided to show up and talk to Spencer. But she insisted on taking her to a remote place to do it, and just seemed really squirrely throughout the entire conversation. What’s worse, the usually smart Spencer, decided to go off with Crazy Eyes, herself, WITHOUT TAKING HER CELL PHONE.
Clearly, all those hot Wren kisses, must have gone to her head . . .
Speaking of face sucking . . .
When the going gets tough, (the tough eat your face) . . .
Maya may actually have made good on her threat to run off to San Francisco, rather than return to True North to conquer her “doobie problem.”
All Emily knows is that she hasn’t been returning any of her calls. But as is usually the case with Emily, the very minute she seems like she might be single again, a buzzer goes off in the heads of every lesbian in Rosewood. And suddenly, they are all in hot pursuit.
“Ooh . . . ooh . . . pick me . . . pick me . . . my turn!”
This time, Emily’s aggressor is Paige, a.k.a. as Little Orphan Butchie, (though now that she has a better haircut, the title is admittedly no longer appropriate).
When we first see Paige, she’s all zen and thrilled about having finally come out to her parents. And it’s not long, before she’s making flirty and suggestive comments to Emily, about the possibility of a rehash of their earlier, tumultuous relationship.
*clears throat*
Paige may be more out and proud than she was when we first met her, but when it comes to reading relationship cues, she still has a heck of a lot to learn. Case in point, when a crying Emily admits to Paige that Maya and her had a fight, after which the former went missing, Paige decides this is a great opportunity to RAPE EMILY’S FACE. Oops.
Emily literally runs away, horrified.
And as much as I was never Paige’s biggest fan, I can’t help but feel bad for her and her utter cluelessness. Then again, she did try to DROWN Emily, once before, which undermines my sympathy for the character, just a smidge . . .
At the end of the episode, the police come to Emily’s doorstep to talk about Maya.
Golly gee, I hope she didn’t burn down that law office, while sparking a big ole’ doobie . . . Seriously, though, I hopes she’s OK . . . unless she ends up being “A,” in which case, GOOD RIDDENS . . .
Speaking of good riddens . . .
It’s an Ezria Tea Party! (a.k.a. Now A’s messing with the Moms!)
Ladies, what the heck was the deal with Fitzy, this week?
And why was Aria wearing that bizarre early 90’s ensemble? She looked like an extra from Saved by the Bell . . . Was it just me, or was he SUPER CALLOUS in that car scene, with Aria, in which he contemplated dumping her, and running off to New Orleans, for his new boyfriend Byron?
Yes . . . Fitzy . . . you were a dick . . . yes, you were.
On one hand, this isn’t the first time, Fitzy has been scared away by Aria’s parents, and frightened into giving up on the couple’s May/December romance. But the way he treated her, while he was doing it, just seemed uncharacteristically cold to me . . . particularly when he left her alone crying in the car, and then proceeded to WATCH HER CRY, STONEFACED, from his car, for about five minutes, before driving away.
It was just an odd scene, all around, in my opinion. Though on a positive note, Lucy Hale definitely does give good cry. I’m not ashamed to admit, I got a little teary . . .
Make that A LOT teary . . .
Speaking of odd, Aria’s mom is suddenly all up in A’s grill, because of that note Papa Montgomery got last week, cluing him in to the location of Aria’s ultimately canceled date with Fitzy. Now, she’s decided to find out, for herself, who A is. That can only lead to BAD THINGS, me thinks . . .
*insert hissing noise here*
But the hunt for A isn’t the only aspect of Aria’s life that Mama Montgomery has started to dip into. She’s also decided to reevaluate her stance on the whole Ezria issue, after receiving a tearful tongue lashing from Aria regarding Papa Montgomery’s plans to ship Fitzy down to the bayou (probably in hopes that he would be eaten by alligators). Honestly, ladies, it doesn’t get much more awkward than your mother plopping down on the couch at your boyfriend’s couch, and staring at you, while you all pretend to drink tea.
That said, I do give Mommy Dearest some props for her willingness to hear her daughter out . . .
Speaking of self-sacrificing mom’s, Mama Montgomery might not be the only PLL Mommy hot on A’s trail. When Mama Marin finds the police report A threatened Mona with, her first thought is that Deputy Douchey sent it, in hopes of forcing Mama Marin to have more sex with him. But when she confronts the latter with the offending document, he seems just as freaked out by it, as she is! And with good reason! Last I checked, accepting sexual favors in return for sentencing clemency, was generally frowned upon, in law enforcement . . . no matter how good one might look, dressed in nothing but a towel . . .
In the final moments of the episode, we see “A” using the gun she stole from Spencer Hasting’s desk to do some pretty on-point target practice.
Be afraid, PLL girls. Be very afraid!
And that was “Breaking the Code” in a nutshell, my Pretties. Next week on PLL, we get a father/daughter dance, a missing persons poster, Toby on a motor cycle, and Spencer’s dad repeatedly saying things, like “pump up the jam.” (Hey Mr. Hastings, 1992 called. It wants that phrase back.) You can check out the promo for the episode, here . . .
Until next time, my Pretties!
Let's Go Shopping!
Buy Comeuppance!
Buy Hollywood Warlock!
Buy InGENEious!
Buy Life Sucks, Death Bites!
Buy Me and You, Inc.!
Snarky Goes to Hollywood!
The Exquisite Corpse
TV Recappers Anonymous 