These are two ACTUAL screencaps. Both were taken from the first FIVE MINUTES of Thursday night’s Grey’s Anatomy. You’re welcome.
After last week’s cringe-tastic, surgery heavy, UGLY episode . . . thanks to which, I will never view this image in the same way EVER again . . .
. . . it was really nice to see Grey’s getting back to it’s roots this week — You know, surgery-lite; mushy-gushy relationship stuff / shirtless men HEAVY. I don’t know about you, but I tend to prefer my Grey’s simple and super girly. And a girly Grey’s was exactly what I got!
“Give me an E – S -T -R- O -G -E-N! What’s that spell?”
Couples really took center stage during this episode of Grey’s. Heck, even this week’s medical mysteries featured “couples” of some sort. Well . . . except for ONE medical mystery . . .
WOAH! This Disney Chick can ACT . . . so well that I can almost forgive her for that Princess Protection Program movie . . .
. . . ALMOST.
So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get on with this girly boink-fest!
We’re Having a Party . . . Everybody’s Slutty!
The episode began with a PARTY at the Mer and Der House! It was a party to celebrate McDreamy!
For what reason, I am not entirely sure . . . for being Chief, I guess. The only problem was . . . it wasn’t a very good fiesta. Karev, perhaps, said it best when he remarked, “This party blows.”
For one thing, everyone looked all stuffy and uncomfortable, in their suits and “business casual” dresswear, i.e. dowdy dresses, that don’t show anything above the knee. Who the heck has house parties like this? Your grandpa, that’s who! And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me. Our Greysies are getting OLD!
It’s TRUE! Meredith proved it, when she said, “At my parties, we drank tequila and danced on tables!”
And that was true . . FIVE SEASONS AGO . . .
Remember the Boozy Slutty Dysfunctional Meredith of Season 1? Good times!
But it’s not true now! The one good thing about the party, was that it offered us this lovely picture, of our suave and suited Grey’s men, sipping scotch and poring over floor plans . . .
How very Ocean’s 11 of them! Not this Ocean’s 11, mind you . . .
. . . more like this one . . .
See what I mean . . . about the OLD?
Anyway, things improved quickly, when we LEFT the party and were delivered NOT ONE, BUT TWO, shirtless prelude-to sex scenes . . . The first one was between Bailey and her latelyMIA Gas Man . . .
Remember him? If you didn’t before, I bet you won’t forget him NOW!
The second scene, not-so-surprisingly, featured Mark “I-Get-More-Play-Than-A Slot-Machine-In-Vegas” Sloan.
What was surprising, was who he was with. It wasn’t his current girlfriend, Teddy, nor his ex-girlfriend, Lexie. Nor was he with his “friends with benefits” gal pal, the recently single, Callie. Nope, Sloan was with . . .
. . . that annoying pixie-haired Mercy Wester chick, who hasn’t been around for half the season?
Ummm . . . yeah, so McSteamy is coming out of the shower all steamy, after what was probably a fairly tepid round of lovemaking with Slutty but Boring Doc Reed, when, who walks in and catches them post-coitus?
You guessed it, his current girlfriend TEDDY! To Sloan’s credit, he doesn’t do that thing you see in romantic comedies, where the guy gets caught in the act of cheating, and he starts jumping around like a jack rabbit, sputtering, “It’s NOT what you think!” (When it always is exactly THAT!)
Instead, he INVITES TEDDY TO JOIN THEM!
Way to go McSteamy! You may be a mental midget when it comes to the ways of women, but you sure are COOL!
Unfortunately, the producers cut away from the scene, before we can find out if Teddy accepts the proposition, but I’m thinking . . . NOT! Truth be told, Teddy is only interested in one threesome, and one threesome only . . . this one.
News Flash Cristina Yang, Owen is Just Not That Into You . . .
Hey, Yang! Wanna join my book club? We’re reading one that you will LOVE!
Speaking of the World’s Most Unhappy Threesome Ever, while Teddy is being cheated on by Mark, Owen is impulsively asking a drunk Cristina to move in with him, “because my therapist said it was a good idea.” Now if that’s not a ringing endorsement for romance, folks, I don’t know what is!
Cristina instantly AGREES to this lame proposition, and I start to wonder whether the majority of her brain cells are housed in her scrubs. After all, it seems like such an uncharacteristically DUMB move on the part of a woman who, normally, is one of the most intelligent characters on this show. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time that a man made Cristina do less than brilliant things . . .
Meredith overhears this exchange, and is again faced with the moral crisis she dealt with last week. You see, Meredith is convinced that Owen’s failure to follow Cristina’s wishes, and help Teddy keep her job, was incontrovertible evidence that Owen is secretly in love with Teddy.
“I LOVE YOU . . . so I tried to get you fired. My therapist said it was a good idea . . .”
So, on one hand, she owes it to her BFF Cristina to let her know that her boyfriend is a poopy head . . .
. . . and, like all poopy, deserves to be unceremoniously dumped. On the other hand, the information she learned about Owen, came from Derek, and the confidentiality requirements associated with Post-It Note Marriages, are SERIOUS!
Nothing says loving like Sticky Paper, purchased in a 150-note multicolored pack (2 for $3.00!) at CVS . . .
So, Meredith decides to play King Solomon and split the baby . . .
. . . instead of outright telling Cristina about her poopy head boyfriend, she drops annoyingly coy hints of his emotional infidelity, throughout the episode. Initially, Cristina, who has always been a “shoot the messenger” type gal, gets pissed at Meredith, and denies that such infidelity exists. However, with the seeds of doubt successfully planted, and love triangles seeming to haunt her wherever she goes, Christina starts to question the nature of her relationship with Owen.
Ultimately, in a really great scene, Meredith confronts Owen about his feelings for Teddy. Meredith explains to Owen, that if he is a “good guy,” he will come clean to Cristina about his throwing Teddy under the bus, when her job was on the line, and then lying about it. In true Grey’s fashion, Teddy, of course, overhears all of this. But to her credit, no trace of a sh&t-eating grin can be found on her face, upon hearing the good news.
Nor does she break into song, belting out, “You really LIKE me! You think I’m SEXY! You want to DATE me!”
Color me impressed. Ultimately, Owen confesses his lie to Cristina. And when she outright asks him whether he is in love with Teddy, he says, articulately, “I don’t know.” (Perhaps he should get a new therapist. Because, clearly, the one he has now is not doing a good job, writing his “lines” for him.)
At the end of the episode, in a scene highly reminiscent of early Grey’s, a torn-up Cristina crawls into bed with Meredith and admits that she and Owen are no longer moving in together. Meredith changes the subject, but does so in a sweet way, by showing Cristina the plans for her and Derek’s house in the woods, where there is a separate room for Cristina to crash whenever she find herself in need of a hug . . .
Relationships are like ducks . . .
Things were going significantly better for new couple, Alex and Lexie, this week, at least, on the surface. After expending WAY too much mental energy on the recent sexual rendezvous of her ex- Sloan, especially, for a person who claims to be “over him,” Lexie decides it might be a good idea to issue Alex an ultimatum on the state of their sort-of relationship. And, while normally, such an ultimatum, would have sent Alex running for the hills . . .
Running shirtless . . . (Oh come on, as if a picture like that EVER needs a proper recap tie-in to be included!)
. . . New and Improved Alex responds by making out with Lexie in public AGAIN. Once they are done swapping spit with one another, he tells her. “Yeah, we are a thing. Whatever.” (OK, I’m thinking that Owen’s inarticulate therapist is writing Alex’s lines too. How about you?)
Later, when Meredith questions Alex about the nature of his relationship with Lexie, he explains that he is acting like . . . a duck.
Because ducks are sexy . . . (Awesome pic “borrowed” from marginalnotes btw)
Although the metaphor was, admittedly, a bit unclear, I think Alex was referring to the whole, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck” thing. In other words, act like you are in a healthy relationship, and soon you will actually find yourself in one. Ummm . . . yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Alex . . .
And apparently, Lexie isn’t so sure either. When Mark professes his love to her, at the end of the episode, Lexie doesn’t immediately jump his bones, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight either. “I have a boyfriend,” says Lexie, half-heartedly.
“But I’m telling you that you could have a husband,” replies Most-Articulate-Male-of-this-Episode, Mark (maybe more like a Dad than a husband, but, like Alex says, “Whatever”).
It’s definitely a May – December Romance. But in terms of “couple names,” “Sexie” TOTALLY kicks “Lalex”‘s butt!
So they’ve got that going for them, at least.
The Medical Stuff
You know what was really interesting about this week’s three “medical mysteries?” They all got SOLVED!
. . . and NOBODY DIED!
. . . and that burn victim chick got her hair back!
It was the happiest hospital day EVER at Seattle Grace! First, we got to meet an awesome star from Happy Days!
“What? You were expecting, The Fonz?”
It’s Mommy Marion Ross! She still looks pretty good! And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so! In a series of events that ONLY happens on TV, Marion Ross’s character, Betty, is in the hospital, getting . . . something done . . . not sure what . . . when she runs into Cute Old Dude Henry, her long lost love, who she hasn’t seen in 50-years.
They are eachother’s “one that got a way.” Now, with no more obstacles standing between them (because all of those obstacles, unfortunately, are now DEAD), Betty and Henry decide to move in together (once they get out of the hospital, of course), and give their relationship a go. I know, it sounds kind of lame, but it was actually really sweet. And Cute Old Dude Henry had a voice that sounded like it narrated fairy tales for a living, so that made it even sweeter . . .
We also got to meet a burn victim in the hospital, who was supposed to get a hair regrafting (she had lost most of it in a car explosion), when she learns that she has an infection on her arm, and needs her fingers amputated. At first, the doctors tell her that her infection will prevent her from getting the hair regrafting operation. But then, they decide, RISKS be damned, HAIR IS IMPORTANT!
And so they do the grafting during the hand amputation. Of course, had Burn Victim Girl appeared in ANY OTHER episode, aside from this one, this would have been a perfect opportunity for the writers to senselessly kill her off, and manipulate us fans into tears. ( And we know how Grey’s LOVES the tears!) However, Burn Victim Girl was lucky, because she got to star in an episode entitled “Shiny HAPPY People.” And because HAPPY people tend to be, more often than not, ALIVE, she got to live too!
Finally, in what was the best “medical mystery” of the episode, Demi Lovato . . .
HEY! What did I say about referring to that film again?
Sorry . . . Demi Lovato . . .
. . . enters the hospital as a teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, who was admitted to the hospital after, literally, trying to claw her eyes out! Everyone at the hospital thinks she’s a TOTAL nutjob, except this guy . . .
Who, instead, assumes she must have some extremely rare disease. (After all, those have been conveniently traveling around Grey’s in search of likeable guest stars patients since Season 1). Alex runs some initial tests on the teen, and comes up empty handed. He then confronts his girlfriend with the photographic memory, Lexie-pedia, with his patient’s symptoms. Intially, she can’t remember where, in the many medical books she has memorized, she saw the disease. “Lexie-pedia is FROZEN!” Alex complains. (I LOVE HIM!)
But then Lexie remembers that the disease can be found in some obscure medical journal from 2004 with a light green cover. In the next scene, we watch as Alex outfits the teen in this weird scary head gear, that makes her look like Johnny Five from those old Short Circuit films . . .
As if, on cue, Demi’s eyes go all buggy, and she freaks out. So, of course, this was all Karev needed to diagnose her as having a small hole in her inner ear, that allowed her to hear everything that was going on inside her body. YUCK! Apparently, all this rare disease takes to cure, is a brief operation where the hole is plugged up. After the operation, we know that Demi is sane again, because she is wearing a bandage around her head that looks like a really stylish headband . . .
Now that your “sane,” I’d really like my headband back.
Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
In Other News . . .
. . . Callie and Arizona shared an impromptu sexy makeout session in the elevator . . .
Ooh, la, la!
But accomplished precisely NOTHING in terms of their relationship . . .
Boo, la, la 😦
Oh, and the Gas Man . . .
This pic NEVER gets old . . .
. . . told Bailey . . .
. . . that even though he sometimes flirts with random nurses, he saves all the GOOD flirting for her . . .
Shondra Rhimes, PLEASE don’t make us fall in love with the Gas Man, if you plan to rip him away from us next season, in order to use him on your new pilot! (Although, I think it might be too late . . . because I’m in love already).
So, there you have it, “Shiny Happy People,” in a nutshell. This was the LAST new episode of Grey’s before the show airs it’s purportedly “game-changing” two-hour season finale (with the hours entitled “Sanctuary” and “Death and all of His Friends,” respectively) next week. Media sites have teased that the final two episodes of Season 6, will feature nothing less than a SHOOTING and a fairly major character death. Here’s a sneak peak at the promo . . .
Thanks for the video, adam9316!
I’ll admit it. I’m afraid . . . very afraid! See you next week!