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Separating the Men (and the Women) from the Babies – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Hook Line and Sinner”

This week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was all about making choices.  The episode also featured a lot of “baby talk” . . .

  . . . and not nearly enough shirtlessness and/or sex for my taste . . .

A Shirtless Justin Chambers is a TERRIBLE thing to waste!

As is a Shirtless Jesse Williams, for that matter!

What choices did our characters make this week?  Let’s analyze, shall we?

To Grandpa, or Not to Grandpa . . .

In the past, Mark Sloan has been known throughout Seattle Grace as the Resident Man Child, a walking Mid-Life Crisis in Scrubs, if you will.  The moments he wasn’t in the operating room (and, let’s face it, we almost NEVER see this guy operate), Mark could typically be found trolling for women . . . .

 . . . making sexually suggestive (and slightly creepy) comments to anyone who would listen,

“Hey baby, did I ever tell you about the big yacht I own?  It’s IN MY PANTS!”

 . . . and starring in sex tapes with actresses and call girls . . .

(Oh, wait . . . that last one only happened in REAL life)

However, lately, viewers have begun to notice a “softer side” of Mark Sloan.  During the last few episodes, Mark has been toying with the idea of settling  into a serious relationship, and starting a family.  This idea was first brought to the forefront a few episodes back, when Mark’s long lost 18-year old daughter, who he heretofore never knew existed, arrived on the scene and announced she was pregnant.

Mark and his daughter (Little Sloan) had previously discussed Mark raising his grandchild on his daughter’s behalf.  However, Little Sloan got cold feet, and decided to put the baby up for adoption.  In the opening scenes of this episode, Little Sloan arrives on Mark’s doorstep about to give birth.   Fortunately for Little Sloan, Mark lives in Doctor Central.   So, she didn’t even need to go to the hospital to deliver her baby.   Dr. Teddy Altman . . .

 . . . (who Sloan just so happened to be screwing, while his daughter’s water was breaking all over his Welcome Mat), delivered the child, with nothing more than a pair of scissors and a bunch of towels.  Once the baby was born, a highly hormonal Little Sloan began to have second thoughts about giving it up for adoption. 

And despite the fact that Little Sloan had Bad Mommy written all over her (Her idea of “baby gifts” was a messy purse filled with enough lame dollar store doodads to LITERALLY choke a baby!  These “bite-sized” toys might as well have had “Swallow Me and Die” written on their surfaces), Big Sloan seemed to think it was a GREAT idea!  He was thrilled at the prospect of being able to have a grandchild in his life.  Fortunately, Arizona stepped in to show him the error of his ways. 

In a heart-wrenching scene, Mark is forced to hand the child over to his new adoptive parents.  Once it is all over, he and his daughter vow to remain a part of one another’s lives.  So, it seems as though Seattle Grace’s most immature resident may have FINALLY grown up.  (Oh, and did I mention that Little Sloan was significantly less annoying this week, than she has been in past episodes?)

Oh Baby or No Baby . . .

Speaking of Arizona . . .

 . . . she and Callie seemed to be having baby issues of their own this week, since Callie wants to have a child, and Arizona doesn’t.  Throughout the episode, Callie tried a number of tactics to get Arizona aboard the Baby Train.

First Callie tried guided imagery.  “Picture a beautiful baby,” she prodded.

“I’m picturing a trip to Spain, a glass of Sangria, and you in a bikini,” replied Arizona.  “Oh, wait.   We can’t go to Spain . . . or DRINK, because of the BABY!”

Callie then tried to psychoanalyze Arizona, patronizingly explaining to her that the real reason Arizona didn’t want a child was that she was afraid it would get sick and die, like Arizona’s own brother, or the babies she treats at the hospital each day.  Arizona is offended by Callie’s insinuations.  “I’m not broken.   . .  I just don’t want a child,” Arizona explains, before storming out of the room.

And even though the couple seemingly made up at the episode’s conclusion, I am not entirely sure that this is something they will be able to overcome, in the long term.

To Be a D-Bag, or NOT to be a D-Bag . . .

Remember all those times, when Seattle Grace was in financial trouble, and Derek self-righteously lectured Chief Webber on the importance of not letting the interests of money and prestige override the need for a comfortable work environment, where doctors can work together as a team?  Remember that “Back to School” episide, where Derek tried to demonstrate that Seattle Grace was, above all, a “teaching hospital”?  Well, it appears, that “power corrupts,” because the Derek of this week’s episode has completely turned his back on everything he once believed.

For what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past few seasons, ANOTHER “Cardio God” entered the hallowed halls of Seattle Grace.  And, once again, the typically tough-as-nails, Cristina Yang, turned into a puddle of sycophantic mush around him.  Karev was right when he said she treated well-renown doctors like trading cards . . .

Collect them all!

At least Cristina is not afraid to ADMIT her flaws.  (I loved when she called herself a Cardiothoracic Whore!)  This, unfortunately, is more than I can say for Derek . . . 

Apparently, Seattle Grace is still in need of a Head of Cardiologogy.  And while, Teddy, who has been performing the job on temporary contract, would seem to be the most likely choice for the job, the prospect of getting a bigger name (in this case, “Dr. Evans”) to fill the position, put dollar signs in McDreamy’s puppy dog eyes.

In Derek’s defense, a skittish Teddy was screwing up all over the place, this week, sneezing on patients and failing to recognize that they were suffering from sepsis, before operating on them.  And, yes, the DULL Dr. Evans did seem like a “good surgeon.”  However, he was a Crappy Teacher, forcing Cristina to sit on the sidelines and watch a surgery she had scrubbed in on, while he performed the entire thing on his own.  Not to mention that the absence of the well-liked Teddy would have certainly caused a good deal of upheaval amongst many of the doctors — most notably, Mark Sloan who she is currently screwing.  Under normal circumstances, a doctor’s popularity and good teaching skills should not be the sole reasons for her getting a job.  However, for a Chief who got HIS job on a platform of “education and togetherness,” such reasons should certainly be persuasive ones.

Fortunately, for Teddy, she ultimately got to keep her job.  However, at the end of the episode, when Old Chief Webber makes a point to congratulate Shepherd on his decision to award loyalty over prestige, Derek defiantly admits that he had originally offered Dr. Evans the job, not Teddy.  However, Dr. Evans passed on it.  I’m not a fan of what “chiefing” is doing to Derek’s character  . . . Here’s hoping that Old Chief Webber resumes his post REALLY SOON!

“Sober up quick, Chief McBoozy!  We need YOU!”

To Threesome, or Not to Threesome . .  .

In other D-baggyish news, Owen came VERY close to cheating on Cristina, by almost making out with a vulnerable Teddy, in an admittedly sweet elevator scene.  Interestingly enough, THESE actions are NOT the ones with which I take issue.  After all, Owen ultimately DID NOT cheat (only because his pager went off . . . but still).  And, Owen and Teddy do have chemistry and a strong history together, so I can understand his moment of weakness. 

What I COULD NOT abide, was what Owen did NEXT.  In a highly uncharacteristic move, Cristina plays the Girlfriend Card with Owen, asking that he plead Teddy’s case to McDreamy, so she can keep her job.  Owen AGREES to do this.  However, once he gets inside the Chief’s office, he pleads DR. EVANS’s case instead, asserting that Teddy would be “just fine” if Derek didn’t choose her for the position.  One could argue that Owen truly believed that Dr. Evan was the “better man” for the job.  However, I think this had more to do with Owen’s own concerns that he won’t be strong enough to not make out with Teddy, the next time the two of them are stuck in an elevator . . .  And, if that ‘s the case, that seriously SUCKS for BOTH Teddy and Cristina!

To Grow Some Balls or NOT to Grow Some Balls . . .

In still MORE D-bag news, Alex treated his sort-of girlfriend Lexie like total crap this entire episode, berating her, making fun of her, and STEALING her surgeries.  When Lexie solves a medical mystery and ALMOST allows Alex to steal her thunder, it takes a tough love speech from Bailey (Doesn’t it always?), for Lexie to finally realize that she is being mistreated.  At the end of the episode, Lexie confronts Alex, by giving him a serious “I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR” – type talking to. 

Alex seems impressed.  He even gives Lexie a beer.  And you KNOW how boys hate parting with their beer.  But was it too little, to late?

Finally, in Bat-Sh&t Crazy News . . .

 . . . April continued to awkwardly fawn over the married Dr. Shepherd, much like the creepy school girl she played in that Glee episode a few months back . . .

I LOVED how Dr. Avery, a.k.a. Dr. Hotness . . .

 . . . totally called her out on her freak show behavior, not to mention skewered her with a few spot on impersonations.  “Oh, Chief Shepherd, you can spank me if I’m wrong. And I DO hope I’m wrong!”  He mimicked.

(Could somebody in the writing staff PLEASE give the funny and adorably sexy Jesse Williams more to do on this show?  A storyline?  A relationship?  A surgery?  ANYTHING AT ALL?  Need I remind you what he looks like with his shirt off?)

Anyway, methinks the slow boil of Bat Sh&t Crazy April is about to bubble over REALLY soon.  So, Derek should definitely hide his meat cleavers  . . .

 . . . and his BUNNIES . . .

 . . . both in the literal AND the metaphoric sense.  You can spank me if I’m wrong.  And I DO hope I’m wrong . . .

 

 

 

 

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A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Sympathy for the Parents”- Brought to You By the Letter “B”

 

“I’ve got a Little McDreamy in me . . .”

Hey boys and girls!  This week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy has been brought to you by the letter “B.” 

B is for . . .

Baby,

Bromance,

Brothers (who BEAT eachother up),

Bereavement,

Broken,

Banging (even though you are both hung up on other people), and

Bat-sh*t Crazy!

Let’s revisit, shall we?

Baby Talk (and Talk, and Talk, and Talk . . .)

Man, was there A LOT of talk about babies during this episode!  The Grey’s Anatomy writers certainly know how to take a “theme” and beat it to death, don’t they?  Let’s see .  . . BABIES . . .  Derek wants one . . .

and Meredith doesn’t (because she is afraid she will be a Bad Mommy), but then she changes her mind, and decides she wants one after all. . .

Callie ALSO wants one (and has been TALKING about it nonstop for about  FOUR episodes now, which is REALLY grating on my nerves), but Arizona still doesn’t.

 Bailey HAS one, but he seems to disappear and reappear at the writers’ convenience.

And Little Sloan, who I was REALLY REALLY hoping thought was gone for good, is HAVING one, right on McSteamy’s doorstep, at the episode’s conclusion.  Ummm . . . yeah, there’s not really much more I want to say on this topic.  Put a fork in it, Grey’s.  IT’S DONE!

The Bro-mantic Adventures of Mer and Karev . . .

Grey’s Anatomy has always been a show about relationships, with a little medicine thrown in for good measure.  Obviously, the relationships that receive the most screen time tend to be the romantic ones, like the relationship between Meredith and McDreamy.

On occasion, Grey’s will also treat us to platonic GIRL-friendships, like the relationship between Meredith and Christina.

But what often gets short shrift on this show are the bromances – those fist-bumping, noogie-giving, non-emotive grunting, platonic relationships between DUDES.  And THAT is what we got treated to during “Sympathy for the Parents.”  Yes, technically, Meredith is a GIRL, but her relationship with Alex Karev (which continues to be one of my favorite dynamics on the show) is much more bromantic than anything else. 

“So, how about those Yankees?”

Meredith and Karev relate to one another in that special monosyllabic way that only DUDES can.  Without a word exchanged, Karev knew that in order to resolve her inner turmoil about having kids, Meredith needed to be told that she was nothing like her mother.  Just as Karev needed to be told that HE was nothing like his father.  And when Karev’s brother appeared at Seattle Grace out of no where, and EVERYONE was prying into Karev’s home life, Meredith, Queen of the Dysfunctional Family Club, knew to stay out of his way.  In her own, quiet, and non-judgmental way, Meredith supported Karev throughout this episode,  subtly steering him toward the betterment of his relationship with his estranged brother.

Brotherly Love and Bizarre Belly Buttons

That is NOT a weiner . . .

By far, the best and most intriguing storyline of the evening went to Resident Badass Hottie, Alex Karev.

Mmmmmmmmmmm .  . . yummy!

Who knew he had a cute younger brother and a sister, both of whom he hadn’t seen in seven years?  Who knew he was a foster kid, with an abusive dad and mentally ill mom?  Who knew he spent some time in juvie for stealing food, because his family was starving?  When Alex’s younger brother, Aaron, arrives on the scene, with an umbilical hernia that requires surgery, and no health insurance to boot, all of these little known facts rise to the surface.  And yet, Alex still managed to become a doctor and send checks home to his family every month.  In the words of Miranda Bailey, “I am impressed” (and a little turned on).

Playing the part of Alex’s blue collar baby bro, Jake McLaughlin did a fabulous job of making his character instantly likeable and relatable.  He somehow managed to be both farm-boy polite and intensely masculine, at the same time.  When Christina called Aaron “Angel Spawn” to Karev’s “Evil Spawn,” you, as the viewer, totally understood why.

Alex, of course, was none too happy with his Baby Bro for sharing all of this information with his colleagues.  Aaron, for his part, was extremely hurt to learn that Alex  (1) had gotten married and NOT invited his family to the wedding; (2)  had a wife with cancer; and (3) was getting a divorce.  The two manly men threw down, right in the middle of Seattle Grace.  And I know we were supposed to be upset and saddened by this.  But I LOVE a good boyfight (so sexy), and cheered in spite of myself.

Fortunately, Aaron’s surgery goes off without a hitch.  And the two brothers ultimately bond with one another, as Alex explains that he needs to stay away from his family in order to continue to support them financially.  In a super sweet moment that nearly brought a tear to my eye, Alex told Aaron that Little Bro had turned out to be a “good guy.”  Awwww  . . .

Bereavement sucks . . .

In the chief medical storyline of the evening, a wife with cancer suffered a stroke that left her in a vegetative state, following surgery.  Because she had signed a DNR-type document, Seattle Gracers were forced to pull the plug on this woman, against the wishes of her husband, who refused to accept her death.  The whole thing was pretty heartbreaking and intensely hard to watch.  So as not to further depress myself, that’s all I’m going to say about that . . .

Broken People Suck Too . . .

When Arizona described Owen as a mopey guy who never smiled, she WASN’T kidding.  Owen Hunt spent all of last week’s episode miserable, and all, but about two seconds, of this one (Dude DOES seem to enjoy cooking . . .:)) in the same sorry state.  Don’t get me wrong, Kevin McKidd is giving spectularly complex performances week after week.  But the writers REALLY NEED to slip some Happy Pills into this character’s coffee, pronto!

When the episode opens, Owen is all distracted, mopey and PTSD-y, after last week’s traumatic war flashback revisit.  However, he refuses to talk to Christina about it and balks at the idea of returning to therapy.  Teddy, who can sort of relate to what Owen is going through, having worked on the battle field herself, desperately wants to help Owen, but fears intruding on his relationship with Christina.  When Christina makes a mistake during surgery, and Owen freaks out on her, Teddy advises Christina not to demand too much from Owen at this time.

Later, when Owen becomes angered over a cooking mishap, and Christina instinctively shrinks from him in fear, Owen finally admits he has a problem and agrees to get help.

Banging a.k.a. “Pounding the Cake”

Sloan and Teddy had some sex during this episode.  They repeatedly described it as “mindblowing,” but it kinda looked lukewarm to me.  I just don’t see the chemistry between these two.  Plus, it’s OBVIOUS that Teddy still has the hots for Owen.  And McSteamy remains hung up on Lexie.  In other (more important) news, I learned a kickass new euphemism for sex.

“Pounding the cake” . . . I just KNOW this one is going to come in handy one day (possibly during next week’s recap?)

Welcome to Bat-Sh&t Crazytown – Population: April

“I refuse to be ignored, McDreamy.”

OK, so I found April’s behavior during this episode to be completely bizarre.  Apparently, many of you felt the same way, because my blog was  just crawling with “April and Derek” searches, even before I posted this blog entry (and even before I had watched this episode).  Let’s see: there were those eerily creepy wide-eyed stares she gave him every time he passed her way, the evil looks she shot Meredith, whenever the latter and Derek were acting lovey-dovey, the abrupt way she left the room in tears after Derek’s speech to the comatose patient’s husband, and her overly defensive response to Lexie when she was called out on her “crush.”

Now, if this was any other show, my first guess as to what was going on here would be that the Mean Ole Sort-of Married Doctor is having a forbidden affair with his young resident.  But I don’t think this is the case here.   After all, Shondra Rhimes KNOWS that if she makes Derek into a cheater after ALL this time (with a former MERCY WESTER no less), “Mer and Der” shippers will literally burn down her house!

The next, most logical, explanation would be that April’s character is merely in the throes of innocent puppy love.  In such case, the bizarro creepiness element to it all, would be merely the result of bad over-acting.  However, I am already familiar with Sarah Drew’s work.  And I happen to know that this actress is a Total Pro when it comes to subtly portraying the agony of unrequited love.  I watched her do it during teen drama, Everwood, where she played the shy and bookish Hannah, who was suffering from a crush on a boy that she was certain was miles out of her league . . .

And she pulled it off again on Mad Men, as a wife who knows in her heart that she is married to a closeted homosexual, who will never return her romantic affections . . .

Nope.  My guess is that Sarah Drew’s bizarre portrayal of April during this episode was intentional.  After all, this wouldn’t be the first time, the actress has played the role of a creepy obsessed psycho stalker.  Anyone else remember her guest-starring role in Glee as the Bat Sh*t Crazy, Teacher Devouring, Susie Pepper?

Something tells me that THIS storyline is FAR from over . . .

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