Tag Archives: Cameron

Who’s YOUR Next Gleek? – A Peek at Oxygen’s New Reality Show “The Glee Project”

Have nightmares about the future of your favorite musical comedy show kept you up nights? 

Did Rachel’s and Kurt’s conversation about the “c” word, during the Season 2 Glee finale, send shivers up your spine?  (I’m talking about “college,” obviously.  Get your mind out of the gutter!) 

Have you spent the past few summer hiatus weeks writing long “fan letters” to Ryan Murphy, in which you plot out, in great detail, scenarios that will enable your favorite McKinley High characters to get left back another year, just so that you can maintain your own sanity?

If so, then you are a TOTAL NUTBALL!  then “The Glee Project” is the summer series for you!  Starting this week, every Sunday at 9 p.m. on the Oxygen channel, twelve (well . . . now, eleven) hopeful late teens and early twenty-somethings will duke it out for the chance to win a seven-episode arc on the most popular musical program on Fox that isn’t American Idol.  And as teen drama fans know, A LOT can happen in seven episodes.  (If you recall, Darren Criss’s Blaine Anderson was upgraded to a series regular on Glee, after appearing in half that amount.)

Entertainment industry nerds like me will undoubtedly appreciate the “behind the curtain” peek that this show offers at what the casting process for a successful prime time program actually looks like.  (Well . . . at least you get a peek at what casting for a successful prime time program WOULD look like, if it was done through a reality television show.)  Acting as both mentors and judges of the prospective new Gleeks’ are Robert Ulrich (Glee’s casting director) Zach Woodlee (the show’s choreographer), and Nikki Anders (a vocal coach for the series).

Ryan Murphy, himself, will also be on hand to make the final elimination decisions . . .

As if that wasn’t enough, each episode will also feature a REAL GLEE CAST MEMBER, who will basically be there to stand around, smile, look pretty, and collect his or her hiatus paycheck.   This week’s lucky guest star was the sexy Darren Criss.

Next week, we get Idina Menzel, who played Rachel bio’s mom, and former Vocal Adrenaline coach, Shelby Corcoran, during the show’s first season.

But I have to say that my FAVORITE Glee cast inclusion into The Glee Project was the “celebrity” who appeared during the “audition” episode.  Of course, I’m referring to THIS GUY  . . .

Brad Ellis, i.e. “The Random Dude at the Piano” is just the Captain of Cool, as far as I am concerned . . .

Even those of you who AREN’T Entertainment Industry Geeks, will likely get a kick out of observing the various contestants, and trying to pinpoint precisely what type of character each would play, if he or she was lucky enough to make it onto the show.  After all, stereotyping people, and making snap judgments about them, based solely on a picture and under ten minutes of screen time per episode, is what Glee is all about, right?

 Yes, that was meant to be sarcastic. 🙂 

Let’s put it a nicer way.  The Glee Project gives fans of Glee the opportunity to “play” casting director, and try to envision the future of the show.  So, what are we waiting for?  Let the stereotyping casting begin! 

(By the way, if you are interested in learning more about the show, or any of the cast members you see here, feel free to check out Oxygen’s surprisingly comprehensive show website, which features, among other things, cast bios, photographs, and audition tapes.)

In case you haven’t seen this yet, here is a photograph featuring all twelve Glee Project contestants . . .

Please note that this article WILL contain spoilers from the first episode of the show.  In other words, I plan to mention that a certain Glee hopeful has already been eliminated from the running.  So, if you don’t want to be spoiled, you may want to stop here, until you’ve actually seen episode 1.

Now that I’ve gotten that little disclaimer out of the way, allow me to introduce the twelve cast members of The Glee Project.

First up, we have Damian . . .

Damian kind of seems to have a Young Hugh Grant thing going for him . . .

First off, he’s got the accent (though HIS is an Irish Broque, as opposed to Grant’s British lilt).  This will work immediately in his favor, I suspect, as chicks tend to dig accents, BIG TIME.  Damian also has a baby face, and a sort of goofy, self-deprecating charm, that makes him instantly likeable.  Cons for Damian include his dorky dancing (Finn!  You have company!), and a quiet singing voice, that might find itself overpowered by Glee’s current cast of “belters.”

I can envision Damian playing an Artie-type character, someone who is generally liked by everybody, and doesn’t make too many waves.  In terms of romantic interests, it might be fun to see Damian paired with Rachel, since his low-key, easy-going, nature might balance out her Type-A intensity and diva-like ways.

Next up is Bryce . . .

I’m actually a tad surprised, and a smidge disappointed, that this guy was eliminated so early in the competition, as he’s someone I can definitely see on the show, as a friend / rival to Puck.  Just like a certain Mohawk-sporting sexpot we all know and love .  . .

. . . Bryce has the body of an athlete, the style of a rebel, and the confident swagger of a guy who SEEMS like a conceited jerk on the surface, but who hides hidden depths.  Had Bryce won the competition, I could definitely have envisioned him as being a fun love interest for Mercedes (if the whole “Sam” thing doesn’t work out) and/or for Quinn.

Then, there’s Samuel . . .

I must say that this guy is one of my early favorites.  I already love his voice, his style, and his maturity.  (Though, admittedly, I suspect this actor, in particular, might have some difficulty passing for a 16-year old.)  If Samuel wins this competition, he could bring an element to New Directions that we haven’t seen yet, that of the “sensitive hippie.”  I can envision Samuel’s character intially butting heads with either Rachel or Quinn, and, eventually developing a love/hate relationship with either female. 

Love/hate relationships are always my favorites on teen dramas, as I tend to find them SO INSANELY HOT!  It’s high time they put one of those types of relationships on Glee.  And that is yet another reason, why I am rooting for Samuel to take it all in this competition.

My other favorite to win The Glee Project is Cameron . . .

This guy is the epitome of Geek Chic.  Sure, he’s skinny, and a bit clumsy, when it comes to “fancy foot work,” but there is something undeniably sexy about Cameron.  He plays guitar, and has a sweet mellow voice and singing style that evokes comparisons to artists like Jack Johnson or Bruno Mars.  Personally, I would love to hear Cameron sing a duet with either Mark Salling (Puck) or Kevin McHale (Artie), as I think those two voices would compliment his quite well. 

In terms of love interests, no one really sticks out for me just yet, who would be a good match for Cameron.  However, in terms of social networking, I do think a character like this could become fast friends with Artie, Sam, or even Mike Chang.

Another early fan favorite to take this competition is Lindsay . . .

The first thing that struck me about this contestant is how much she looks like a Young Carla Gugino .  . .

The cool thing about Lindsay, in terms of character development, is that she seems pretty versatile.  She’s obviously pretty enough to play a cheerleader / Queen Bee type, like Quinn.  And yet, she also has the style, and relatability, to play a more Earthy / Do-Gooder type.  Romantically, I could see Lindsay paired with any of the main male characters on the show, with the most obvious candidates for her affection being Puck and Finn.

One of the more unique casting choices on the show would be Ellis . .  .

Ellis is kind of a dichotomy, in that she looks and dresses like a middle-schooler, but has the sad soulful eyes, and singing voice of a thirty-something.  I can picture Ellis playing one of those child-prodigy types, who skipped a few grades to get into McKinley High.  Her character would be precocious, and very serious, verging on dour.  Depending on HOW much younger this character would be than the rest of the cast, I could potentially see her as a love interest for Artie.

Next up, we have Hannah . . . 

Having been voted Class Clown in her own high school, Hannah demonstrates the perkiness of Rachel Berry, the humor of Lauren Zizes, and the powerful voice and dancing skills of Mercedes Jones.  On the surface, this would seem to make her the ideal candidate to be a character on Glee

And yet, I wonder whether these positive attributes will ultimately end up working against her.  Specifically, I fear that the casting directors might have difficulty envisioning for Hannah a place within the Glee cast that is not already inhabited by other characters.

Another Gleeky hopeful who might experience the same problem as Hannah is Marissa . . .

. . . with her confident attitude, perfect figure, and Pantene Pro-V hair, Marissa seems primed to play a Mean Girl.  She would also make a rather sexy romantic pairing with Puck.  But with Quinn and Santana already constantly battling one another for Queen Bee status, does McKinley High really need another Alpha Female?

Speaking of characters who would undoubtedly but heads with Santana, check out Emily . . .

Since Emily struck me as a perkier (some might say, more annoying) version of Santana, I could envision her playing either Santana’s younger sister, or her scheming neighbor, over in Lima Heights Adjacent . . .

Other viewers have suggested that Emily would make a good love interest for Santana.  But, personally, I don’t see it.  I think these two are WAY too much alike to mesh well as a couple.  In fact, it’s their similarities that may work against Emily in this competition.

Another character who may be too much like a pre-existing one on the show is Alex . . .

. . . this sweet and rather flamboyant teen, with a love for all things fashion, and a high voice, perfect for belting out show tunes is . . . let’s face it . . . the African American version of Kurt Hummel . . . and I mean that in the nicest way possible. 🙂

One type of voice Glee has genuinely lacked in the first two seasons is that of a country singer.  And, though I am not necessarily a fan of country music, myself, the need for that kind of voice on Glee was what intrigued me most about McKyleigh . . .

This Texas’ natives love of all things country definitely makes her stand out in a crowd.  In fact, I suspect the character SHE would play on Glee would be much like the person she is in real life.  It would be fun to watch McKyleigh and Mercedes interact with one another, in particular, as the two couldn’t have more different tastes and styles. 

And hey, why not take that one step further, and have McKyleigh show some romantic interest in Sam?  A little love triangle never hurt ANY show!

Daddy LIKE!

Finally, last, but certainly not least, we have the adorably diminutive Brazilian native, Matheus . . .

Of all the cast members, this was probably the one who got the most screentime in Episode 1 of The Glee Project.  There are a couple of reasons for this: (1) he has the most uplifting personal story of the group, having taught himself English just months after emigrating to the United States, and having survived a near fatal accident, that almost deprived him of the use of his limbs; (2) he won the first “homework” challenge on the show, giving him an early lead amongst his competitors; and (3) everything about Matheus is just so DARN likeable, from his short stature, to his kind eyes, to his brace-faced smile, to his surprisingly cut abdominals (which he gladly flashed to the cameras . . . TWICE), to his unfailingly upbeat outlook on life.

Though I honestly don’t have a clear picture of what role Matheus would play on Glee, he definitely seems like he would be a stellar addition to the cast, one that would immediately resonate with fans.  Oh yeah, and he has an amazing voice too!

So, there you have it, a brief glimpse into the twelve prospective Gleek hopefuls who will be competing this summer on The Glee Project.  Which one is YOUR favorite?

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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The One Where Little J Ruins EVERYTHING (and finally leaves)! – A Recap of the Gossip Girl Season Finale “Last Tango, Then Paris”

“You think YOU’RE the Bad Ass, Georgina?  I destroyed the lives of the Entire Cast of Gossip Girl in a SINGLE HOUR (and possibly killed Chuck Bass).  Top that BIATCH!

I don’t think I have ever wanted to do physical harm to a television character as much as I did to Little Jenny Humphrey, while watching tonight’s Season Finale of Gossip Girl, entitled Last Tango, Then Paris.  Seriously, was there anyone on this show whose life she DIDN’T ruin tonight?  (Well . . . maybe Georgina . . . but she doesn’t really count, does she?) 

So, without further adieu, let’s take a look at HOW Jenny screwed over each of the show’s main characters, and ultimately escaped on her broomstick, with a whirlwind of evil swirling behind her . . .

How Jenny Screwed Over Serena and Dan (and, by extension, Nate and Vanessa, as well as people who hate incest)

When the episode first begins, a needy Jenny is curled up in bed with Nate.  ONCE AGAIN she is wearing that button down shirt that is SUPPOSED to be Nate’s, but it’s so large it could probably fit FIVE Nates and a Chuck in it . . .  Here, I’ll prove it to you.  Check out this screencap of Jenny in that shirt.

I’m sorry . . . It was just too easy.

Anyway, just when the entire fan contingent of Gossip Girl is about to groan “NOT THESE TWO AGAIN,”  in walks Chuck to put us at ease . . .

He explains that he KNOWS Jenny and Nate didn’t do the nasty, because he heard Nate snoring all night, and found a charge on his hotel bill for New Moon on Pay-Per-View.

I imagine we are supposed to presume that Jenny watched this flick on her own, after Nate fell asleep.  And, why not?  After all, our girl Little J OBVIOUSLY identifies with the characters from this Stephenie Meyer tale . . . well, maybe one in particular . . .

Clearly, these two share the same stylist . . .

Anyway, Chuck and Nate throw out some not-so-subtle hints that they want Jenny Bad Weave to . . . LEAVE.  So, back to Brooklyn she heads.  Once she arrives there, she sees this . . .

I just threw up in my mouth a bit, while posting this picture . . .

So, Jenny, being the EVIL TURD she truly is . . .

 . . . decides that, even though Nate has already rejected her about EIGHTY TIMES this season, why not try for EIGHTY ONE?  And because Jenny’s idea of a romantic gesture always seems to land in the “make someone so lonely and miserable that they hate themselves enough to sleep with a slut like me” realm, she decides to snap a picture of the brother /sister sex act and ship it off to Gossip Girl herself. 

After completing the dastardly deed, Little J escapes the apartment, just in time for Serena and Dan to wake up and have one of those awkward and super annoying “Oh it really doesn’t mean anything that we made out.  Let’s not tell anyone.  We’re just friends . . . blah blah blah” babbling conversations that characterized ALL of their dialogue together from SEASON ONE!  (Please don’t put us through this again, Gossip Girl!  I beg you!)

And then it came time for Dan and Serena to receive the Gossip Girl blasts featuring their “bro-sis mance” (grossmance?).  There were two things I LOVED about this scene!  (1) Dan is supposed to be this really smart guy right?  So, why did he not IMMEDIATELY figure out that Jenny had taken the picture of him.  Just how many people HAVE the keys to his Brooklyn apartment, anyway?

“Maybe it was that half-brother they randomly gave me during Season 2?  You know, the one also related to Serena?”

(2) When Dan DOES solve the Mystery of the Phantom Photo Snap, he does so because Jenny has left her disposable cup of coffee on the table . . . and it HAS HER NAME ON IT! 

Why did Jenny feel the need to write her name on this cup, when she was the ONLY ONE getting coffee?  Was she getting drinks for her imaginary friends too, and feared that she would accidentally mix up the lattes? 

Unintentional hilarity aside, seeing as BOTH Serena and Dan were currently involved in other relationships at the time of their . . . whatever the heck it was they actually did . . .  in the words of Ricky Riccardo . . .

“You have some ‘splaining to do!”

Serena confronts Nate and explains that “nothing happened” between her and Dan.  And Nate forgives her . . . RIGHT AWAY.  Their sex must be REALLY good to merit this kind of mindless acceptance on Nate’s part . . . just saying.

(Insert lewd euphemism for sex here)

Later, Nate conveniently overhears Serena and Dan having the EXACT SAME conversation they had at the beginning of the episode (That’s what these two do together, they TALK . . . A LOT!  Serena and Dan talk, about as much as Serena and Nate screw.)  This time, Nate, upon learning that the “nothing” that happened between Serena and Dan actually included a kiss, grows a pair, and actually gets pissed off.  So, what does he do?  He e-mails Vanessa in Haiti to tell her what happened.  And it seems like she’s going to DUMP DAN . . .

 . . . so that he can feel free to pursue Serena . . .

“But wait!”  You say!  “He can’t do that!”  You exclaim!  She’s related to him still dating Nate!  Right, see here’s the thing.  EVEN AFTER Nate found out that Serena played tonsil hockey with Dopey Dan, HE STILL FORGAVE HER!  This guy is a SAINT (or just really likes good sex, whichever you prefer)!  But then, get this, SERENA DUMPS HIM!

Why, you ask?  Would you believe her explanation includes phrases like, “I need to find out who I am,” and “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for having “Single Ladies” on Gossip Girl, but I actually kind of like Serena and Nate together!  They’re sexy!  And I’d certainly rather have them with eachother than with anyone else (cough cough Dan, cough, Jenny, cough, Vanessa).  So, this contrived breakup between them, for seemingly no reason at all, bugged me a bit.  And if the reason was to help Serena couple with Dan, it bothers me even MORE!

Anywhoo . . . on to the REAL JUICY stuff . . .

How Jenny Screwed Over Chuck and Blair (and, by extension, the ENTIRE GG – Watching POPULATION!)

So, if you recall, last week Chuck “Affair to Remember”-ed Blair . . .

  . . . telling her that if she did not meet him at the top of the Empire State Building by 7:01 p.m., he would “close his heart to her forever.”

Now, initially, Blair is determined NOT TO GO!  And to prove it, she drags along wet blanket “Cameron” (I can’t believe this guy made it through THREE episodes already!  All he seems to do is follow Blair around silently, while she bitches people out and moons over Chuck!) . . .

“Yeah, but I just got my SAG card.  Who’s laughing now?”

 . . . and Poor Dorota, who is looking SO INCREDIBLY pregnant they practically have to roll the poor girl out of the limo.   It’s just plain cruel.  (And don’t you love how wet blanket Cameron was 100% OK with having a “chaperone” on his date?  What is with all these boys being such wimps this week?)

While Blair is trying to keep her mind occupied with purportedly “non-Chuck” related things, like telling off Jenny (if only she knew), and telling off Dan, fate seems to keep pulling her in another direction entirely.  Babblepuss Dan starts talking about “signs,” presumably in reference to himself and Serena (ick).   Blair is initially skeptical.  “Signs are for the religious, the stupid and the lower class,” she retorts angrily.

But then she sees this . . .

And suddenly, she knows what she has to do . . . meet THIS GUY!

 Sigh!

(The truly weird thing about this, is that I’m pretty sure Cameron was there THE WHOLE TIME Blair was having her epiphany . . .) 

Just when Blair is about to head off to the Empire State Building and reunite with Chuck . . . of course, Dorota’s water has to go and break.  So, now the crew (Cameron included) are headed to the hospital, instead of to the Empire State Building.  And this is when I start literally SCREAMING at my television.  “TEXT HIM BLAIR!  TELL HIM YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE!  HELLO?  IVY LEAGUE GIRL!  PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAP!” 

But I guess, if she did that, there wouldn’t be much of a story next season, right?

Name: Blair Waldorf; Age: 19; IQ: 155 (98% of episodes); 60 (season finale episodes)

So, Blair heads off to the hospital, to help Dorota deliver her baby.  And it’s Dorota (who, thankfully, is holding on to Blair’s extra IQ points for safe keeping), who tells “Mees Blair” to go meet up with Chuck ASAP.  Blair dashes off, and heads directly to the Empire State Building.

 But when she reaches the top, she’s devastated to find that Chuck has left.  The bouquet of flowers in the trash is a telltale sign to Blair that she has inadvertently broken Chuck’s heart (which could have been avoided, if she JUST texted him!)  We cut back to to the Bass apartment where Chuck is drowning his sorrows in booze, as per usual.  And of course, in comes Evil Jenny, needy and vulnerable, also as per usual, and ready to sink her claws into Chuck. 

Hey Gossip Girl writers!  Remember this?  It’s from the pilot.  You know when Chuck tried to DATE RAPE Jenny?  This is just one of the many reasons, any sort of hookup between them WON’T EVER WORK!

Jennny and Chuck begin knocking back the booze and muttering their respective “woe is me” tales to themselves.  Next thing you know, they are MAKING OUT!

And it is SO not sexy, I can’t even describe it.  Then, we see them in bed together.  And as a consolation prize for taking her V card, Chuck invites Jenny to stay the night.  But just when I was about to start banging my head against the coffee table, in walked Blair, carring the “trashed” flowers, as proof that she had, in fact, been up to the Empire State Building.

Blair FINALLY explains why she was late in arriving at the important destination.  In a sweet, if slightly sappy, scene, Blair admits to Chuck that she loves him, and wants to be with him, regardless of the inherent obstacles in their relationship.  (Jenny, thankfully, slips out the back, unseen.)  Chuck and Blair then embrace.  And if you listened real hard at that moment, you could hear the collective AWWWW heard round the world . . .

But back in HELL, SOMEONE is already plotting their revenge . . .

And despite all my bashing of her, I have to say, when Jenny was crying her heart out to Eric (love him!) because she lost her virginity to Chuck, I couldn’t help but feel just a teensy bit bad for her . . . even though she totally brought it on herself.  Maybe it was because she looked like such a Sad Clown, with those puffy eyes and that mascara running down her face . . .

To Eric’s credit, he DOESN’T tell Dan about Chuck and Jenny, but he DOES tell Dan that Jenny “needs help.”  Although we don’t get to see the exchange, we assume that Jenny admitted her indiscretion to Dan and Dan was MAD!

Meanwhile, Blair and Chuck are walking together, enjoying their re-coupledom, when Chuck pulls THIS out of his pocket . . .

Pretty right?  But am I the only one who thought it would be . . . BIGGER?  After all, this IS Chuck Bass we’re talking about.

“Will you . . .” Chuck begins . . . and then Dan appears out of nowhere and decks him!

And if that wasn’t bad enough, Sad Clown Jenny comes clomping in behind him. 

Blair takes one look at the situation and knows instantly what happened.  Unfortunately, Chuck cannot deny it.  He tries in vain to explain that he thought Blair had dumped him forever, and that’s why he did it.  But Blair doesn’t want to hear it.  And, frankly, as much as I love these two together, I can’t blame her.  She tells Jenny to leave the city or she will make her life miserable.  And Jenny complies!

Little J is purportedly heading down to live with her mother in Connecticut.  And I couldn’t help but think that, if the writers hadn’t made her character so gosh darn unlikeable (not to mention unstylish), this would have been the perfect opportunity to give Jenny that spinoff the show’s producers have always been talking about.  You know, the one based on that OTHER book series, written by the author of Gossip Girl, which just so happens to revolve around the Jenny Humphrey character – It Girl?

I think if they wanted to do it now, and have fans approve, they’d probably have to add an “SH” to the first word in the title . . . and the FCC just wouldn’t be down with that.

On Week Later

With Little J out of the way, the last few moments of the episode provide us with a glimpse of how our favorite Upper East Siders will be spending the summer . . .

Serena and Blair will be jetting off to Paris . . .

Super Sexy Nate ( admittedly, looking a bit less than sexy in his “farmer flannel” shirt from this episode) will be taking Chuck Bass’s place as the Upper East Side’s self-destructive and slutty bad boy, hooking up with random chicks, drinking hard, and not caring about anything or anyone.  Oooh! Mommy like!  I’ve been waiting for a “Nate’s Dark Side” storyline for awhile now . . . and it looks like I am about to get my wish!

Oh,  and Georgina came back . . .and she’s PREGNANT!

(And wearing Jenny’s weave from the looks of it.  I’m REALLY  hoping this isn’t a dye job.  For starters, it’s ugly.  For “finishers,” aren’t pregnant people not supposed to use hair dye?)

Anyway, guess who the dad is . . . Here’s a hint!

Baby’s First Text to Gossip Girl:  “I made a poopy diaper!”

I guess I don’t have to tell you what DAN will be doing this summer . . .

But it wasn’t until the final moments of the episode that the POO really hit the fan!  You see . . . Chuck . . .

 . . . was wandering drunkenly through a “bad” part of town (a.k.a. anything that isn’t the Upper East Side . . . or Upper West Side), when he gets mugged by some thugs.  At first, Chuck plays it smart, not fighting back, allowing them to take his wallet and watch.  But when they take the ring he bought for Blair, he suddenly finds himself overcome with emotion and begins to struggle.  Gun shots ring out, and suddenly the thugs are running away with the ring, while Chuck lies unconscious on the floor, blood seeping from a deep bullet wound in his stomach. 

And despite the fact that I can’t IMAGINE the writers would actually EVER kill off Chuck, unless they wanted the show to die right along with him, it was still an intensely emotional scene.  Well played Westwick!

All in all, it was a pretty exciting finale — a satisfying end to a mixed bag of a season — with much promise of better things to come in Season 4.  Thanks to all of you who have read my recaps, despite their length and high snarkiness quotient.  All joking and character bashing aside, I really do love this show.  I will definitely miss it this summer.  You can bet I will be spending plenty of time over at Chuck and Blair the Perfect Pair getting my GG fix, during those long hiatus months . . .

XOXO!

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Those darn kids! – A Recap of Gossip Girl’s “Ex-Husbands and Wives”

In tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl, our Upper East Side Scooby Gang banded together to “save” one of their own (Serena) from a common enemy.  Unfortunately, not everyone was playing for keeps.  Bet you can’t guess which member of our Scooby Crew was being a total b&tch?

When the episode begins, Serena is helping Blair pick out an outfit for her date with . .  . well according to IMDB, his name was “Cameron,” but I couldn’t have told you that, without cheating and looking it up.  If you recall, “Cameron” was the guy Blair almost kissed a couple of episodes ago at that Brooklyn party, to make Chuck jealous.  IMDB also told me that the actor who plays him is Ben Yanette.

He’s the one pictured above who isn’t Blair . . . the one wearing the Mr. Rogers sweater . . .

And while “Cameron” was cute in a sort of bland way, to the writers’ credit, they didn’t make any bones about the fact that this dull dude isn’t going to be around for the long haul.  (I mean, come on, he was on a first date with Blair Waldorf, and he talked about “rugby.”  Who does that?)   So, anyway, even though Serena is supposed to be helping Blair prepare for her date, in true van der Woodsen fashion, she finds a way to make this all about her.  “I found out that Rufus is cheating on my mom with our neighbor,” Serena whines.

Blair tries to be supportive of her friend.  However, she clearly has misgivings about Serena’s supposition.  “No way would another Upper East Sider schtup Rufus,” asserts Blair later, when talking to Nate and Dan.  (Way to go Blair, using the Yiddish!)  “What?  My stepdad’s Jewish!”  Blair explains, when Nate and Dan look at her, as if she just told them she enjoys shopping for clothes at Walmart.

“Schtup? Is that like a new fashion designer or something?  Think he has a men’s line?”

Back in Brooklyn, a grounded and very gothy looking, Jenny is chatting on the phone with Chuck.  The two are plotting to prove that the pills Dr. van der Woodsen is prescribing to Lily are not pills typically used to cure cancer.  Jenny, of course, had figured this out, last week, by doing a websearch using the search engine that is clearly the CW’s biggest sponsor.  After all, it appears at least once on literally EVERY CW show.

Bing . . .  the only search engine clinically proven to cure cancer.

So, Rufus catches Jenny chatting with Chuck and takes her phone away.  So, Jenny makes some lame excuse about not having her “stuff” with her, and sends Rufus traipsing to La Casa de van der Woodsen like the big wimp he is, to retrieve Jenny’s personal belongings.  When Rufus arrives, he runs into Serena, who tells him to leave, in no uncertain terms.  Conveniently, the ENTIRE van der Woodsen / Humphrey clan (and Nate – What was he doing there?) are here to witness this exchange.  When pressed as to why she is being such a total ass to Rufus, Serena explains that she believes him to be “schtupping” the neighbor, whose name is Holland (And if there was ever a name reserved JUST for rich and snobby people . . . that’s the one.)

But at least they have nice tulips . . .

So, Brilliant Rufus gets the fabulous idea to bring Holland down to the apartment to set things straight.

  . . . rhymes with Doofus.

So, of course, Holland . . .

 . . . repeats to virtually the entire cast of Gossip Girl (and special guest star, William Baldwin)  . . .

Was it just me, or did he look HOTTER during this episode, for some reason?

 . . . the same thing she told Serena last week, “I totally schtupped Rufus.”  (OK, she didn’t exactly say it like that.  But she should have.)

Most of the cast looks shocked by Slutty McNeighbor Holland’s admission. 

 But Serena and Dr. VDW seem to be having a particularly difficult time hiding the sh*t-eating grins from their faces.

Separately, bromantic buddies, Nate and Dan, and worst-prospective-couple EVER (hint, hint GG writers) Chuck and Jenny, decide to hunt down Holland . . .

Last time, I promise . . .

 . . . and expose her for the fraud they know she is.  Both groups also decide that they need an “expert” to do their dirty work for them.  Who is this expert, you’re wondering?

Duh!

(By the way, I’m not typically a girl who obsesses over television fashions, but Leighton Meester had the best wardrobe EVER for this episode.  There wasn’t one thing she wore that I wouldn’t purchase . . . if I could actually afford it . . . which I can’t.)

Jenny and Chuck approach Blair for help first, and she turns them down.  After all, she’s still pissed at Chuck for pimping her out to the EVIL Jack Bass, a few weeks back.  And Jenny . . . well, she just pretty much thinks Jenny sucks.  Fortunately, Nate and Dan fare a bit better in their quest, and Blair agrees to help them.  With the entire Scooby crew now fully in tact, the group head down to Holland’s office, because apparently she’s a psychiatrist of some sort.  (I could have sworn that the first time Rufus met Holland, she told him she was a house wife.  But maybe I’m wrong.) 

As it turns out, it was Holland who prescribed the pills for Lily.  And the pills were NOT for curing cancer, but for curing some other ailment entirely.  Apparently, Holland also had the pills repackaged into “cancer pill” bottles, so that Lily wouldn’t be suspicious.  Not that she would be, anyway.  I get the impression that, like Doofus, Lily-brain isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

“But at least I’m pretty!”

Why did Holland do this, you ask?  Well, apparently, she owed Dr. VDW a “favor” i.e. he had something on her, and blackmailed her ass.  I imagine she also wanted to ACTUALLY schtup Rufus, instead of just pretending to do it.  Although, publicly calling your crush out as an adulterer is not exactly the recipe for starting a healthy relationship . . .

Now, it was up to the Upper East Side Scooby Crew to expose Dr. VDW as the Big Fat (but kind of hot for a middle-aged dude) Liar that he was.  And, because it wouldn’t be Gossip Girl without a random fancy party, the group decides to make their move at some library charitable event thing.  The plan?  Corner Holland with the information they have against her and make her squeal like a pig. 

(BTW, there was a cute scene, where Chuck and Blair approach the shrink, under the guise of seeking relationship adivce, and REALLY tell her their actual problems with one another.  It didn’t further the plot along all that much, but it was nice to see these two working off one another, and being funny together again.)

What the Scooby Crew didn’t count on?  Little J going all Benedict Arnold on them . . .

Jenny’s sudden change of heart and rationale for suddenly WANTING VDW to succeed in his plan to singlehandedly drug her stepmom and RUIN her dad’s relationship, was a bit unclear.  Perhaps, Little J finally realized that her unfortunate wardrobe, untenable weave, and racoon-inspired makeup style . . .

Little J is having a bad day . . .

 . . . were never really going to cut it on the Upper East Side.   Anyway, Jenny hides the evidence against Dr. VDW, and warns him to take his family and ditch the party, before Holland can squeal on him.  Crafty Dr. VDW plans an impromptu trip to Bali on “medical emergency.”  However, before the van der Woodsens can get out of dodge, Scooby Gang comes to expose him.  Dr. VDW excuses himself, promising to return with evidence to prove his innocence, but instead, heads to the airport, leaving a very depressed Serena waiting for him alone in the lobby.

Now, I’ll never get to meet Alec or Stephen . . .

As if plotting against Serena’s “happy” family reunion, wasn’t enough, Good Ole Nate hammers the final nail into the coffin containing his relationship with Serena, by calling the cops on Dr. VDW.

Sorry, I just really wanted to use this picture again . . .

When Serena confronts Dr. VDW at the airport, he comes clean to her, explaining how he had actually treated Lily, back when she came to visit him, but fell in love with her again, in the process.  He did all this bad stuff, because he thought it would be the only way Lily would let him back into her life.  Dr. VDW then has the gall to ask Serena to come away with him.   And, I’m sorry, but it really sounds more like a sex proposition than anything else. 

(Sidenote:  Billy Baldwin really grew on me throughout his guest appearance.   He’s cute and a good actor.  And I definitely started to like him better than Snoozy Rufus.  And yet, I couldn’t help but feel like he was interpreting some of his lines in a “hit on Blake Lively” sort of way.)

Serena refuses to “escape” with him, telling him, “I don’t forgive you.” 

However, she does care about him enough to tell him to fly away, before the PoPo arrive.  And fly away he does.  Then Serena returns to her limo to find none other than Snoozy Dan waiting with a boring shoulder for her to cry on.  But is he there for moral support, or something more?

Good lord, not again!  You do realize you two are STILL related.  Don’t you?

At the end of the episode, Chuck and Blair share a sweet and quiet, albeit slightly contrived, scene that will undoubtedly lead us into next week’s finale, entitled Last Tango, then Paris . . .

Chuck tries to get Blair to admit that she “felt something” for him when the two were playing “couple” at the party.  Blair denies it.  So, he gives her an ultimatum.  “Meet me at the top of the Empire State Building, at 7:00 p.m.  If you are not there by 7:01, I will close my heart to you forever.”

“You can’t affair to remember me,” remarks Blair.

But Affair to Remember her, Chuck does.  And it was a sweet gesture.  Although, I am not exactly sure why Chuck specifically chose 7:00pm as the couple’s meeting time.  I actually never saw Affair to Remember (I’m a big disappointment to “Girl Kind,” I know).  But I’m wondering if that was the time they were supposed to meet in the movie?  If not, my best guess is that Chuck is big Jeopardy fan . . .

 . . . and if he’s about to get dumped, the last thing he wants to do is miss his favorite show, on account of it.

Although Blair initially seems immune to Chuck’s charms, Chair fans can’t help but notice that she looks longingly up at the Empire State Building, as snoozy “Cameron” talks about rugby, during the final moments of the episode.

Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot, Jenny ran away from home . . .  AGAIN.  This time, it looks like she’s staying at Chuck’s and Nate’s place, which is wrong on SO MANY LEVELS!

That’s all folks.  See ya next week, for the big Season Finale.  Can’t wait that long?  Head to Chuck and Blair the Perfect Pair for all your finale and spoiler needs.

XOXO

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