Tag Archives: cheesy

TV Recappers Anonymous Plays the Less Ambitious Movie Titles (and Taglines) Game!

Oh, the games we play when we’re bored . . .

While getting my daily “news” dosage for the day, I came upon a fun little article in Entertainment Weekly.  It was about this game everybody has apparently been playing on Twitter lately, called #lessambitiousmovies.  Here’s how you play:  (1) Find an “exciting” movie title; (2) change the words around a bit, to make it into a completely mundane (and stupid)  one.  It’s THAT EASY!

Or is it?  You see, I was playing this game with my friends today, when it simultaneously occurred to all of us that most modern day movie titles are already pretty unambitious.  This is even the case for genuinely good movies, with decidedly intricate plotlines.  Think about it.  How could one POSSIBLY further dumb down titles for movies like The Town, Black Swan, Toy Story, Tron and How Do You Know?  Is it just me, or does Hollywood need to take a SERIOUS crash course in creativity?

Gee, I wonder what THIS movie is about!

Nevertheless, my friends and I did come up with a few Less Ambitious Movie Title ideas, which I’ve decided to share with you today because there’s been nothing on TV lately, and I have absolutely NOTHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT.  What I’ll do is give you a little intel on the original film first, and then share my “New and Improved” Less Ambitious Version.  Sound good?   OK, here goes . . .

1) Ghostbusters

What it was about:  A bunch of out of work comedians (most of whom used to be on Saturday Night Live) wear khaki jumpsuits, carry around what look like vacuum cleaners, and suck up goblins and ghouls, on the streets of New York City.

Less Ambitious Version: “Roastbusters”

What it’s about NOW:  Ummm . . .  vegetarians, maybe?

New and Improved Tagline:  “I ain’t afraid of no ROAST!” 

2) The Sixth Sense

What it was about:  Little Haley Joel Osment sees dead people (SPOILER ALERT:  Bruce Willis may be one of them.)

Less Ambitious Version: “The Six Cents”

What it’s about NOW:  The pocket change you always have on hand, but are perpetually forgetting to use . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “The heartwarming tale of Nickel and his good pal, Penny (based on a true story).”

3) Die Hard

What it was about:  Bruce Willis, again!  This time he’s battling terrorists, shooting people, and blowing sh*t up for two hours, all the while making snarky comments, and flexing his muscles to show us how cool he is.  (In other words, if you are watching this film, and you are female, you may grow a weiner, as a result . . .)

Less Ambitious Version:  “Diet Hard”

What it’s about NOW:  Bruce Willis is really cranky, because all he’s eaten all day is a salad and two peanuts.  So, he starts blowing sh*t up . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “Twelve extra pounds.  One cop.  The odds are against John McClane.  And he’s STARVING for a donut!”

4)  127 Hours

What it was about:  A hiker gets his arm stuck under a rock for 127 HOURS.  So, he chops it off . . .

Less Ambitious Version: “127 Seconds”

What it’s about NOW:  Do the math.  That’s just a little over two minutes.  It doesn’t really have time to be about anything.  But it WILL star a hot guy . . . because I say so . . . and it’s my movie, dammit!

New and Improved Tagline:  “By the time you finish reading this, the movie will be almost over.”

5) Field of Dreams

What it was about:   A bunch of dead baseball players (including the voice of Darth Vader) tell Kevin Costner to build a baseball field in his backyard.  He does . .  .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Field of Streams”

What it’s about NOW:  Running water, running water, and more running water.

New and Improved Tagline:  “This movie is so good, it will make you pee.”

6) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

What it was about:  Jim Carey had a bad breakup with Kate Winslet.  So, he had her surgically removed from his brain.  I’m not kidding . . .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Kitchen”

What it’s about NOW:   Jim Carey is a compulsive neat freak, who is obsessed with keeping his kitchen clean . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “His floors are so clean, you can eat off them.  (But if you do, he’ll KILL YOU!)

7) Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie)

What it was about:  A perky cheerleader battles vampires in her California high school.  She also says the word “like” a lot . . .

Less Ambitious Version:  “Buffy the Violin Player”

What it’s about NOW:  It’s kind of self explanatory.  Don’t you think?

New Tagline:  “For all the tools who like to get played, and the girls who like to play them . . .”

8)  Flashdance

What it was about:  A factory working teen tries to become accepted into a prestigious dance school.  She falls in love, in the process (SHOCKER!).

Less Ambitious Version:  “Flashy Pants”

What it’s about NOW:  Hot pink sparkly pants, and the girls who wear them . . .

New and Improved Tagline:  “It’s kind of like Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants .  . . except without the ‘sisterhood,’ or the ‘traveling.’  Oh . . . and the pants are WAY sluttier!”

9) The Forty-Year Old Virgin

What it was about:  Steve Carell is a middle aged salesman of electronic equipment, who can’t seem to get himself laid.  Hijinks (not to mention, some REALLY NASTY BACK WAXING) ensue.

Less Ambitious Version:  “The 40-Year Old Merchant”

What it’s about NOW:  Steve Carell sells paper for a company called Dunder Mifflin.  He doesn’t get laid all that often (because he’s kind of a jackass).  But at least he’s not still a virgin!

New and Improved Tagline:  “It’s kind of like Death of a Salesman . . . except nobody dies at the end.”

10)  The King’s Speech

What it was about:  Colin Firth is going to be King, but he stutters like crazy!  Geoffery Rush to the RESCUE!

Less Ambitious Version:  “Larry King’s Speech”

What it’s about now:  It’s not really a movie, per se . . . more like every episode of Larry King Live ever aired .  . . back . . . to back . . . to back.

New and Improved Tagline:  “He may be retired, but he’s still not shutting the hell up . . .”

So, there you have it:  Ten Less Ambititous Movie Titles and Taglines.  Now it’s your turn to play!  (Feel free to leave your “new” film suggestions in the comment section below  .  . .)

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Less Ambitious Movies, movies, Twitter

Anatomy of a Film Franchise – Disney’s Tron Legacy

Admittedly, I might not be the ideal blogger to provide you with the inside scoop on Walt Disney Pictures’ upcoming action film, Tron Legacy.  After all, I never saw the original film, which hit theaters back in 1982, and starred that guy who played The Dude in The Big Lebowski.

Jeff Bridges

I did recently catch the original trailer on YouTube, however!  I found it highly amusing . . . though probably not for the reasons its creators intended.

Was this a comedy?

Given that the film is heading into its late-twenties, I expected the special effects to be more than a bit dated.  What I didn’t expect was the unintentional hilarity of Cheesy TV Announcer Guy.  Seriously, this guy should do stand-up!  Take, for example, this gem-like line from the trailer:  “Trapped inside an electronic arena, where love and escape do not compute.”  (Now, if only I could find an excuse to make use of this awesome phrase, in my day-to-day life . . .)

“Hi, you’ve reached TV Recappers’ phone.  I can’t take your call right now, because I am trapped in an electronic arena, where love and escape do not compute . . .”

But, before I go any further, perhaps I should give you the opportunity to enjoy the 1982 trailer for yourself . . .

Cheesy and over-dramatic as it may seem now, apparently, THIS was the film that paved the way for all of the CGI graphics and high tech special effects we take for granted today.  It also spawned a commercial EMPIRE, including a line of toys;

a cavalcade of super sexy fan geeks;

Yum!

and, perhaps, most importantly, a video arcade game featuring lots of PRETTY COLORS . . . and . . . not much else.

But, believe it or not, all this 80’s themed goodness, is NOT what prompted my interest in Tron Legacy.  Rather, it was my, way too late, introduction to THIS GUY .  . .

Meet Garrett Hedlund, age 25,who will be starring alongside Jeff Bridges in the NEW Tron Legacy.  Although the actor has been mistakenly tauted as a “newcomer” by members of the American press, he’s not.  Here’s a picture of Garrett in the 2004 film Friday Night Lights (on which the successful NBC TV series of the same name was based).

And here’s a picture of Garrett chilling with Mark Wahlberg and Tyrese, on the set of the 2005 film Four Brothers.

Here’s a picture of Garrett in that Ridiculously Bad Lindsay Lohan movie, Georgia Rule  (although, I imagine he would prefer we just forgot about that one . . . ).

“Hey, baby!  I’m thirsty!  How’d ya like to pour some beer on my SCRAM bracelet!”

Finally, here’s a screencap of Garrett taken by yours truly from the Tron Legacy trailer that aired during the movie, Inception.  It was this picture that prompted me to fall in love with Garrett, and, eventually, write this blog post . . .

Sigh!

But, perhaps you aren’t as shallow as I am.  And the appearance of Garrett alone isn’t enough to make you see this film. 

I know, Monkey.  It doesn’t make sense to me either .  . .

Well, it also stars the  Olivia Wilde, a.k.a. that enviably attractive, intimidatingly cool, and unfairly talented lady, of House and The O.C. fame.

Remember that time when she made out with Mischa Barton?

Good times!

But Tron Legacy not only has a stellar cast, it’s also absolutely destined to have an amazing soundtrack!  After all, Disney hired none other than Daft Punk to pen the film’s score.

Now, even if electronic music is not really your thing (and, I admit, it’s not usually mine), you have to appreciate the talent of a band like Daft Punk.  Technologic remains my favorite workout song of all time!  Try listening to this song and NOT getting pumped up.  (Note:  I WOULD have embedded the video for Technologic in this post, but the creepy Robo-Baby in it scares me.  Click on the link, and you’ll see what I mean . . .)

Another cool Daft Punk song is Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.  Unlike Technologic, this one has a very cool, non-scary, music video accompanying it.  Therefore, I will post it here for your viewing pleasure:

Along with a fabulous soundtrack, to promote the film, Disney will also be releasing a brand new, slightly less rainbow-y, video game, entitled Tron Evolution, as well as some brand new toys!

Most notable, among of the toys, of course, is the Sam Flynn / Garrett Hedlund ACTION FIGURE!

Sexiness that fits in your pocket!

Now THAT’S something I’d buy!

As for the trailer itself, it’s pretty intense.

“Look at me!  I’m intense!’

The basic premise of the film is that Garrett’s character, Sam Flynn, enters into the computerized world of the first film to retrieve his father, Computer Genius, Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), who he hasn’t seen in 20-years.  And, let me tell you, they’ve got some good botox in Computer World, because the first time we see “The Dude” in the trailer, he looks like THIS . . .

But then, later in the film, the Botox must wear off, because he starts looking like this . . .

So, without further adieu, the trailer for Tron Legacy . . .

Not enough Tron Legacy goodness for you?  You can catch the other two released trailers for the film here and here.  You can also learn more about the film, here.

Tron Legacy hits theaters December 17, 2010.  Will YOU see it?

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Tron Legacy (2010)