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You’re not a weirdo, you’re “special!” – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Superfreak”

Who doesn’t like to start their day with a good old-fashioned threesome?

“You’re not a weirdo.  You’re special.”

“He’s not dumb.  He’s special.”

“She’s not ugly.  She’s just special.”

“They are doing bizarre things, because they are special.”

The above lines were frequently uttered in my childhood home, whenever I would make a derogatory or insensitive comment about someone or something that I found dissatisfactorily different.  I presume these responses were intended to make grow into a more open-minded tolerant adult.  And, eventually, I guess they did.  Initially, however, their only effect was to make me subconsciously despise the word “special.”

This week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was all about the things that make us “special.”  So, without further adieu, let’s let our Freak Flags fly, and take a look back at this “very special” episode.

“I’m Not G.I. Jane.  I’m Attachment Barbie!”

Before I begin, please enjoy this pictoral representation of the above statement.

=

but . . .

Poor Dr. Teddy! FINALLY, she had found herself a Hot and Smart Boyfriend . . .

 . . . who wasn’t hung up on another girl . . . ahem . . .

 . . .  ahem . . .

. . . He even provided her with FREE THERAPY!

OK . . . mostly just Sex Therapy, but still . . .

Then, just when she’s really starting to like him, HE LEAVES!

Leaves?  To go where?  I mean, I understand that Dr. Perkins is a recurring guest star “Trauma Specialist,” who was only hired to help the doctors at Seattle Grace transition back into performing surgeries, following the shooting.  But where does he live?  Timbuktu? 

 Do you mean to tell me that there are NO “Trauma Specialists” practicing in the entire West Coast?  Somehow, I find that very hard to believe .  . .  I mean, California alone is filled with enough “special” “traumatized” folks to keep doctors like Andrew Perkins busy for YEARS!

So, WHAT if he doesn’t work in the hospital anymore?  Can’t ANYBODY on this show sustain a healthy relationship with someone who has found *gasp* employment elsewhere?  Haven’t these people ever heard of the phrase “don’t poo, where you eat?”

(OK . . . I’m done ranting now.  I apologize.  I guess Teddy wasn’t the only one who got “attached” to Doctor Perkins.)

Anyway . . . at the end of the episode the soon-to-be absent Dr. Andrew, more or less, diagnoses Teddy as being “Relationship Retarded,” and chronically self-sabotaging regarding the men to whom she finds herself attracted.  Awwwww, how romantic!

“You had me at ‘Retarded!'”

“You Stink . . .”

“. . . but, hey, at least you’re hot!”

Lately, it  seems as though the men of Seattle Grace have been having issues with “personal hygiene.”  Last week, Derek Shepard arrived at work smelling like pee . . .

This week, Alex . . .

. . . wandered the hospital halls, reeking like Smelly Gym Socks . . .

You see, Alex smelled bad, because he was sweaty.  And he was sweaty, because he was using Seattle Grace as his personal gym — running up and down its stairwell, like Rocky . . .

And he was running the stairs like Rocky, because he was afraid of elevators.  And he was afraid of elevators, because he just saw that AWFUL M. Night Shamalamadingdong movie where the Devil hung out in one he almost bled to death in one.

Of course, only one man was smart enough to put all of this together, and figure out Alex’s Deep Dark Secret, THIS GUY . . .

Chief Webber – The Stink Detective

After solving the horrible Smell Crime, Chief Webber decided to “cure” Alex, by making him ride the elevators with him over and over, again, up and down, until he was “not scared, just bored.” 

Yes, Average American Citizen, when you are shelling out thousands of bucks a year to the healthcare industry, THIS is what you are paying for, Rich Surgeons riding elevators, over and over again, until they get “bored” . . .

 

It just warms my heart to know that my money is being spent to help “those in need” . . .

Lesson of the Day . . .

When trying to get unwelcome visitors to leave your apartment . . .

 .  . . just have Crazy Dirty Sex right in front of them  . . .

PicSpam provided by http://fuckyeahcallieandarizona.tumblr.com/

 (Then again, that might actually make them stay LONGER . . .).

Yeah, I’m sorry Callie and Arizona.  Once again, you had a lame and insignificant storyline this week.  But hey, isn’t Wild and Crazy PDA in front of the Mr. and Mrs. PTSD better than fighting over paint swatches?

Yeah, I thought so too . . .

If at first you don’t succeed, screw someone else . . .

When you work at Seattle Grace, a lot can happen in a single hour.  One minute you can be stalking pining over the Girl of Your Dreams . . .

The next you can be boning your best friend’s REALLY ANNOYING baby sister . . .

. . . while the Girl of Your Dreams (who was probably about to tell you that she still loves you) watches . . .

 . . . all because some patient’s wife told you that “Sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

(Ummm . . . Mark . . . just because it’s the title of an 80’s song, doesn’t make it Good Advice . . .)

So About that Patient . . .

There are a lot of things I could have said / jokes I could have made about this week’s Medical Marvel of the Week — a man with a rare form of HPV that caused his entire body to be covered with warts, giving him what looked like trees for hands. 

(Needless to say, if someone in the Grey’s Anatomy makeup department ever wanted to get into doing horror films after Grey’s went off the air, this would be the picture on the top page of the portfolio).

However, kinder, gentler, friends of mine warned me that HPV is a very REAL disease, and that making such jokes would be inappropriate . . .

So, to make a long story short.  He looked gross.  He made Lexie gag.  A spider randomly crawled out of his arm during surgery.  It made the apparently arachniphobic Bailey scream like a little girl.  They couldn’t fix him.  His wife left his ass.  So much for a happy ending . . .

And that “Other” Patient . . .

Through the course of this show, our Seattle Grace residents have dealt with men who swallowed Barbie heads, insane psycho killers, people who have sex with ghosts, someone with a 10-foot pole up his spine, and, most recently, a real life Tree Man.  Taking all that into consideration, it was a bit unbelievable that these same people would be so shocked, appalled, and freaked out by something as mundane and dull as a 27-year old virgin.

You know who shocked me MORE?  Her fiance!  And no, it’s not just because the actor who played him, Omar Gooding . . .

. . . just so happens to be the little brother of a MAJORLY FAMOUS actor with the same last name . . .

. . . or because he used to be on this very random show I used to watch on Nickelodeon when I was a kid . . .

 . . . I’m talking about the fact that the character was NOT a virgin, and yet, was willing to abstain from sex for TWO WHOLE YEARS . . .

. . . all because his girlfriend wanted to wait until marriage.  I mean, THAT’S GOTTA qualify you for Sainthood or something, right?

In fact, it was this guy’s superhuman fortitude, and NOT his fiance’s virgin status, that made me cringe, when I found out what was “wrong” with the girl in question. 

Fellow TV Watchers, have you ever noticed on television that, right before a character learns something from another character that’s going to DEMORALIZE his or her significant other, the character receiving the information always says “Anything you say to me, you can say in front of my [signficant other].”

I’m sorry, but that has to be the STUPIDEST thing to say EVER!  Word to the wise, secret keepers, when someone tells you they’d like to tell you something in private, DO IT!  Don’t try to be a hero!  If you do, you may just end up without a sidekick . . .

As it turns out, the “virginal” soon-to-be bride was experiencing medical complications, as a result of . . . swallowing a condom.

Well, understandably, hearing this made Mr. I Haven’t Had Sex in Two Years to Appease My Virginal Girlfriend’s blue balls EXPLODE!

However, in hindsight, he needn’t have gotten so riled up.  After all, his fiance had only swallowed the condom, while attempting to practice the fine art of giving him oral sex putting on a condom with her teeth . . .

OPEN WIDE!

Just a word to the wise Bride-to-Be, on your BIG Wedding Night, USE YOUR HANDS!

As it turns out, Bride-to-Be isn’t the only late twenty-something virgin in Seattle, Dr. April is one too . . .

 . . . and when the residents find out about it, at one of their late night alcoholic functions . . .

 . . . they give poor April a really hard time about it . . .

“Ummmm . . . April, if you ever need someone to ‘Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before,’ I am totally your guy . . . Would it help you to know that I just showered?”

April stands up for herself.  And in one of those Slightly Overdramatic Character Exposition Monologues that Grey’s has become so known for over the past five years, the 28-year old virgin proceeds to tell all of the show’s main characters what’s wrong with EACH OF THEM!

Clearly impressed, Meredith tells April that she is “liking [her] more and more.”

Are YOU?

“You are flaming out . . . It is NOT OK.”

Christina Yang is contemplating a serious career change, one that involves poo and plungers . . .

Talk about a “Game Changer.”  Christina Yang is definitely the last character we would expect to see like this.  When we see her this week, she is needy, vulnerable, and unable to sleep alone.  But more disturbing, is her new apathy toward toward medicine in general, and surgery, specifically.

It is very hard to watch this “New Christina,” who has been put on Derek’s rotation, but only because he demanded it (“If she goes, I go!”  He said to the rest of the board.)  She continually feigns lack of knowledge of surgical procedures, and when she does get inside the OR, she freezes AGAIN!

“Would you still love me, if I wasn’t a surgeon?”  Christina asks Owen, in one of their sweet little cuddle sessions we’ve come to expect from this season.  (These two are the NEW Meredith and Derek, it seems).

HELL NO, BITCH!  I would love you if you were a plumber . . .

 . . . but would YOU love you if you weren’t a surgeon?”  Owen replies.

“I don’t know . . . maybe,” Christina answer’s dolefully.

Toward the end of the episode, Derek commandeers her in an empty OR.  “You are flaming out,  And as someone who cares about you, it is not OK,” he tells her.

Derek admits to Christina that she is not someone he initially would have chosen as a friend mainly because she can be such a heinous bitch, sometimes.  And yet, here she is — his wife’s best friend / Twisted Sister, the woman who saved his life.  She is like family. 

And so, Derek stays with Christina.  He guides her through the surgical procedure she conducted on him on the fateful day that changed both of their lives forever.  She performs the surgery again . . . this time on a dummy.

It’s depressing . . . but oddly poignant.

Speaking of Twisted Sisters . . .

I know all you Private Practice fans out there ADORE Amelia Shepherd, but BOY did she bug me!  And no, it wasnt just because she unwittingly ruined Mark and Lexie’s chance at happiness.  Nor was it because her definition of love was bringing Derek a Tumor Patient she banged on the airplane on the way over . . .

No.  She bugged me because she was ANNOYING, and INSENSITIVE.  She said mean things about Christina, like that she was a “learning disabled” “dud.”  And she somehow managed to make the trauma Derek suffered as a result of the shooting ALL ABOUT HER!

“Why didn’t you call me?  Why didn’t you tell me?  Why haven’t you visited me?  MEMEMEMEMEMEME?”

So, I wasn’t so mad at Derek for being a total Ass to her, despite her having traveled ALL THE WAY FROM PRIVATE PRACTICE to see him.  And yet, I was touched by Derek’s little speech, about always wanting to protect his baby sister from harm.  Apparently, Derek has felt that way, ever since the night when his father was shot, right before his and Amelia’s eyes.  Amelia was only five at the time.

For Derek to tell Amelia about his being shot, would be to admit to his baby sister that the world is a dark and unforgiving place.  And, even though Amelia is clearly an adult now, Derek still isn’t quite ready to do that just yet . . .

So, I guess it ended up being all about HER, after all . . .

So, there you have it fellow Greysies!  Another episode bites the dust.  Next stop, SHIRTLESS AVERY!

*Sigh*  Is it next week yet?

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Separating the Men (and the Women) from the Babies – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Hook Line and Sinner”

This week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was all about making choices.  The episode also featured a lot of “baby talk” . . .

  . . . and not nearly enough shirtlessness and/or sex for my taste . . .

A Shirtless Justin Chambers is a TERRIBLE thing to waste!

As is a Shirtless Jesse Williams, for that matter!

What choices did our characters make this week?  Let’s analyze, shall we?

To Grandpa, or Not to Grandpa . . .

In the past, Mark Sloan has been known throughout Seattle Grace as the Resident Man Child, a walking Mid-Life Crisis in Scrubs, if you will.  The moments he wasn’t in the operating room (and, let’s face it, we almost NEVER see this guy operate), Mark could typically be found trolling for women . . . .

 . . . making sexually suggestive (and slightly creepy) comments to anyone who would listen,

“Hey baby, did I ever tell you about the big yacht I own?  It’s IN MY PANTS!”

 . . . and starring in sex tapes with actresses and call girls . . .

(Oh, wait . . . that last one only happened in REAL life)

However, lately, viewers have begun to notice a “softer side” of Mark Sloan.  During the last few episodes, Mark has been toying with the idea of settling  into a serious relationship, and starting a family.  This idea was first brought to the forefront a few episodes back, when Mark’s long lost 18-year old daughter, who he heretofore never knew existed, arrived on the scene and announced she was pregnant.

Mark and his daughter (Little Sloan) had previously discussed Mark raising his grandchild on his daughter’s behalf.  However, Little Sloan got cold feet, and decided to put the baby up for adoption.  In the opening scenes of this episode, Little Sloan arrives on Mark’s doorstep about to give birth.   Fortunately for Little Sloan, Mark lives in Doctor Central.   So, she didn’t even need to go to the hospital to deliver her baby.   Dr. Teddy Altman . . .

 . . . (who Sloan just so happened to be screwing, while his daughter’s water was breaking all over his Welcome Mat), delivered the child, with nothing more than a pair of scissors and a bunch of towels.  Once the baby was born, a highly hormonal Little Sloan began to have second thoughts about giving it up for adoption. 

And despite the fact that Little Sloan had Bad Mommy written all over her (Her idea of “baby gifts” was a messy purse filled with enough lame dollar store doodads to LITERALLY choke a baby!  These “bite-sized” toys might as well have had “Swallow Me and Die” written on their surfaces), Big Sloan seemed to think it was a GREAT idea!  He was thrilled at the prospect of being able to have a grandchild in his life.  Fortunately, Arizona stepped in to show him the error of his ways. 

In a heart-wrenching scene, Mark is forced to hand the child over to his new adoptive parents.  Once it is all over, he and his daughter vow to remain a part of one another’s lives.  So, it seems as though Seattle Grace’s most immature resident may have FINALLY grown up.  (Oh, and did I mention that Little Sloan was significantly less annoying this week, than she has been in past episodes?)

Oh Baby or No Baby . . .

Speaking of Arizona . . .

 . . . she and Callie seemed to be having baby issues of their own this week, since Callie wants to have a child, and Arizona doesn’t.  Throughout the episode, Callie tried a number of tactics to get Arizona aboard the Baby Train.

First Callie tried guided imagery.  “Picture a beautiful baby,” she prodded.

“I’m picturing a trip to Spain, a glass of Sangria, and you in a bikini,” replied Arizona.  “Oh, wait.   We can’t go to Spain . . . or DRINK, because of the BABY!”

Callie then tried to psychoanalyze Arizona, patronizingly explaining to her that the real reason Arizona didn’t want a child was that she was afraid it would get sick and die, like Arizona’s own brother, or the babies she treats at the hospital each day.  Arizona is offended by Callie’s insinuations.  “I’m not broken.   . .  I just don’t want a child,” Arizona explains, before storming out of the room.

And even though the couple seemingly made up at the episode’s conclusion, I am not entirely sure that this is something they will be able to overcome, in the long term.

To Be a D-Bag, or NOT to be a D-Bag . . .

Remember all those times, when Seattle Grace was in financial trouble, and Derek self-righteously lectured Chief Webber on the importance of not letting the interests of money and prestige override the need for a comfortable work environment, where doctors can work together as a team?  Remember that “Back to School” episide, where Derek tried to demonstrate that Seattle Grace was, above all, a “teaching hospital”?  Well, it appears, that “power corrupts,” because the Derek of this week’s episode has completely turned his back on everything he once believed.

For what seemed like the umpteenth time in the past few seasons, ANOTHER “Cardio God” entered the hallowed halls of Seattle Grace.  And, once again, the typically tough-as-nails, Cristina Yang, turned into a puddle of sycophantic mush around him.  Karev was right when he said she treated well-renown doctors like trading cards . . .

Collect them all!

At least Cristina is not afraid to ADMIT her flaws.  (I loved when she called herself a Cardiothoracic Whore!)  This, unfortunately, is more than I can say for Derek . . . 

Apparently, Seattle Grace is still in need of a Head of Cardiologogy.  And while, Teddy, who has been performing the job on temporary contract, would seem to be the most likely choice for the job, the prospect of getting a bigger name (in this case, “Dr. Evans”) to fill the position, put dollar signs in McDreamy’s puppy dog eyes.

In Derek’s defense, a skittish Teddy was screwing up all over the place, this week, sneezing on patients and failing to recognize that they were suffering from sepsis, before operating on them.  And, yes, the DULL Dr. Evans did seem like a “good surgeon.”  However, he was a Crappy Teacher, forcing Cristina to sit on the sidelines and watch a surgery she had scrubbed in on, while he performed the entire thing on his own.  Not to mention that the absence of the well-liked Teddy would have certainly caused a good deal of upheaval amongst many of the doctors — most notably, Mark Sloan who she is currently screwing.  Under normal circumstances, a doctor’s popularity and good teaching skills should not be the sole reasons for her getting a job.  However, for a Chief who got HIS job on a platform of “education and togetherness,” such reasons should certainly be persuasive ones.

Fortunately, for Teddy, she ultimately got to keep her job.  However, at the end of the episode, when Old Chief Webber makes a point to congratulate Shepherd on his decision to award loyalty over prestige, Derek defiantly admits that he had originally offered Dr. Evans the job, not Teddy.  However, Dr. Evans passed on it.  I’m not a fan of what “chiefing” is doing to Derek’s character  . . . Here’s hoping that Old Chief Webber resumes his post REALLY SOON!

“Sober up quick, Chief McBoozy!  We need YOU!”

To Threesome, or Not to Threesome . .  .

In other D-baggyish news, Owen came VERY close to cheating on Cristina, by almost making out with a vulnerable Teddy, in an admittedly sweet elevator scene.  Interestingly enough, THESE actions are NOT the ones with which I take issue.  After all, Owen ultimately DID NOT cheat (only because his pager went off . . . but still).  And, Owen and Teddy do have chemistry and a strong history together, so I can understand his moment of weakness. 

What I COULD NOT abide, was what Owen did NEXT.  In a highly uncharacteristic move, Cristina plays the Girlfriend Card with Owen, asking that he plead Teddy’s case to McDreamy, so she can keep her job.  Owen AGREES to do this.  However, once he gets inside the Chief’s office, he pleads DR. EVANS’s case instead, asserting that Teddy would be “just fine” if Derek didn’t choose her for the position.  One could argue that Owen truly believed that Dr. Evan was the “better man” for the job.  However, I think this had more to do with Owen’s own concerns that he won’t be strong enough to not make out with Teddy, the next time the two of them are stuck in an elevator . . .  And, if that ‘s the case, that seriously SUCKS for BOTH Teddy and Cristina!

To Grow Some Balls or NOT to Grow Some Balls . . .

In still MORE D-bag news, Alex treated his sort-of girlfriend Lexie like total crap this entire episode, berating her, making fun of her, and STEALING her surgeries.  When Lexie solves a medical mystery and ALMOST allows Alex to steal her thunder, it takes a tough love speech from Bailey (Doesn’t it always?), for Lexie to finally realize that she is being mistreated.  At the end of the episode, Lexie confronts Alex, by giving him a serious “I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR” – type talking to. 

Alex seems impressed.  He even gives Lexie a beer.  And you KNOW how boys hate parting with their beer.  But was it too little, to late?

Finally, in Bat-Sh&t Crazy News . . .

 . . . April continued to awkwardly fawn over the married Dr. Shepherd, much like the creepy school girl she played in that Glee episode a few months back . . .

I LOVED how Dr. Avery, a.k.a. Dr. Hotness . . .

 . . . totally called her out on her freak show behavior, not to mention skewered her with a few spot on impersonations.  “Oh, Chief Shepherd, you can spank me if I’m wrong. And I DO hope I’m wrong!”  He mimicked.

(Could somebody in the writing staff PLEASE give the funny and adorably sexy Jesse Williams more to do on this show?  A storyline?  A relationship?  A surgery?  ANYTHING AT ALL?  Need I remind you what he looks like with his shirt off?)

Anyway, methinks the slow boil of Bat Sh&t Crazy April is about to bubble over REALLY soon.  So, Derek should definitely hide his meat cleavers  . . .

 . . . and his BUNNIES . . .

 . . . both in the literal AND the metaphoric sense.  You can spank me if I’m wrong.  And I DO hope I’m wrong . . .

 

 

 

 

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Physician Assisted Suicide are NOT FUNNY AT ALL – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Suicide is Painless”

Depression hurts.  Television recaps don’t have to  . . .

I’m going to be honest.  I’ve been putting off writing this week’s Grey’s Anatomy recap.  The episode aired two days ago now, and I’ve been staring at blank screen. 

It’s not that the episode wasn’t a good one.  It was.  It’s just that when I write these recaps, I like to try to make them a little bit funny.  And, really, there is NOTHING FUNNY about patients dying of cancer, or physician-assisted suicide, or PTSD, or war flashbacks involving explosions, punctured cartoid arteries, and lost limbs.  Sure, I could TRY to make some jokes about these things.  But that would probably just make me look like a total Poopyhead .  . .

 . . . and NO ONE likes a Poopyhead.

Then again, this past week, I had precisely the same problem with the most recent episode of Lost (Dead wives during the late 19th century, and philosophical discussions about Heaven and Hell / Good and Evil are not really funny EITHER!)  But my recap of THAT EPISODE remains my most popular blog posting to date.  So, I’ve decided to suck it up, and give it the “old college try.” 

Below, please find some of my thoughts on this “Very Special” episode of Grey’s Anatomy.  I’ll try not to bring you down too much . . .

What I Liked About The Episode . . .

(1)

Sara Gilbert was spectacular as this episode’s fairly big-name guest star.  Her performance as a young woman dying of cancer, who has made the decision to end her life through physician-assisted suicide, was understated, moving, and beautifully heartbreaking.  Gilbert transformed herself so much for the role, that you could almost forget she was once tomboy goth Darlene from Roseanne . . .

 . . . almost.

(2)

Kevin McKidd also did an excellent job portraying Dr. Owen Hunt’s struggles throughout the episode, as a doctor whose PTSD symptoms were re-emerging and once again beginning to adversely affect his work and personal life.  In the character’s highly Lost-esque war flashbacks, you truly experienced the doctor’s anguish and guilt over having submitted to his army superior’s request to let the latter bleed out, following an explosion, after the pair waited for hours, alone in the desert, for help they truly believed would never arrive.  Of course, moments after Hunt’s superior passes on, a helicopter does come.  Hunt is understandably both heartbroken and traumatized.

(3)

Say what you will about Dr. Owen Hunt, but his character has truly brought out the best in Christina Yang, in a way that the pompous and sleezy Dr. Burke never did.

“Shhhh, I’m an ASSHAT.  Don’t tell anyone!”

Formerly known for her hideous bedside manner, and frequent inability to connect with patients on any level, Dr. Yang supported Sara Gilbert’s character in a manner that was uncharacteristically warm, quiet, and appropriately sensitive to the patient’s difficult situation.  Some might have felt her honesty with the character and her husband regarding, the extra tests the hospital conducted on her, was brash and unnecessary.  However, I felt it truly illustrated her respect, and sympathy, for these individuals, as well as for her superior Teddy, who truly believed that what she was doing for her patient was the right thing to do.

(4)

Not-So-In with the “In Crowd”

I LOVED Old Chief Webber’s feeble attempts to fit in with the other residents.  “She’s hot!  I’d totally hit her,” says Old Chief.  (Never have unintentional references to domestic violence been so hilarious!)

(5)

Seriously?  I could watch this guy on the screen for an entire day and not get bored.  Why won’t the writers give him MORE TO DO?  Talk about a waste of awesomeness!  Dr. Avery’s speech to Meredith, which included not one, not two, but THREE mixed Dr. Seuss metaphors was PURE GENIUS . . . not to mention, adorable.  Come on, how many hot guys do you know, who can talk about . . .

and

while still seeming manly?

What I DIDN’T Like About the Episode . . .

(1)  See complaint above re: the writers not giving Dr. Hotness enough to do . . .

 . . . just in case you had forgotten what he looks like.

(2)

McDouche

It seems like every time they redeem a formerly-asshole character (McSteamy and Old Chief), they have to bring another one back down to D-bag status.  Dr. Shepherd’s “Is that all?”  comment when Meredith came to tell him about the complex surgery she was awarded, literally caused steam to come out of my ears.  Then, to make matters worse, he was a TOTAL PRICK to Old Chief and STOLE the complex coveted surgery from Meredith and “Second Shepherd” or whatever it is they call that sweetly dorky attending, nowadays!

And how much punishment did McDreamy receive for his bad behavior?  NONE!  Old Chief responding by giving Derek chiefly advice on how to balance surgeries with administrative work.  He even offered to SIT WITH HIM AT LUNCH.  (Then again, it’s not like Loser Boy has a whole lot of options . . .) 

But what really got my goat was Meredith!  Her surgery was stolen right out from under her nose, and she LAUGHED IT OFF!  I know Dr. Hotness Avery is charming and all, but even WITH his mesmeric Dr. Seussical advice, the OLD MEREDITH would have put a cap in Shepherd’s ASS for treating her that way!

Dark and twisty?  Or Stepford Wifey?

(3)

Dr. Owen HURTS

I know that I praised Kevin McKidd for his performance during this episode.  My beef here is definitely not with him.  I get that the Dr. Hunt character is supposed to be all complex and layered, and stuff.  But come on!  Lighten up a bit, would ya?  Life is good!  Izzie is gone!  This means that you’ve probably just been promoted got a raise!  Take a chill pill dude!  Attend a yoga class, have some sex with Yang . . . whatever it takes!

Speaking of sex . . .

(4)

“Why are we PG?”

Don’t fade to black just before we can get to the good stuff, Grey’s.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, most of your fans tune in for the hot people and the sex (the medical stuff is just gravy . . .).

(5)

Another baby storyline?  Meh . . . See my complaint above.  Lesbian sex is cool too, and might even up the male-viewing quotient.

That’s all folks!  See you next week!

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Back to School – A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Time Warp”

When I heard that this  Thursday’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy was going to be a “flashback episode,” one that intermingled the characters’ present day experiences with events of the past,  in order to shed some light on the characters’ current behavior, I found myself struck with an overwhelming sense of deja vu.  I couldn’t kick this feeling that I had been here before.  That I had seen this before . . .

Oh, yeah . . . now I remember . . .

In an effort to differentiate himself from former Chief Webber McBoozy (although after 45 days of sobriety, I guess it is no longer appropriate, nor fair, to call him that), and to make a name for himself as the “touchy feely” Nu-Chief, Dr. McDreamy Shepherd reinstitutes Lecture Day at Seattle Grace.

“See?  I’m the sensitive one.  Look into my puppy dog eyes,  and tell me I’m not sensitive.  Just don’t make me cry, because I’ll punch your lights out, if you do.”

As guest lecturers, Shepherd commandeers Bailey, Callie, and Chief McBoozy Webber (sorry, force of habbit).  Webber takes a bit of extra persuading on Shepherd’s part.  After all, learning that you have just been demoted from “Chief of Surgery” to just plain “surgeon” does not exactly make one feel all “happy-go-teachy.”  Nonetheless, Webber ultimately agrees to guest lecture, and what appears to be the entire staff of Seattle Grace packs a rather large auditorium to see him do so. 

(Seriously, Seattle Grace?  Your entire staff?  This is why you aren’t ranked in the top ten!  This is why your patients die all the time!  Doesn’t anyone practice medicine here any more?)

But I digress . . . Here’s what we learned from our three lecturers:

Webber’s Lesson: “When I was your age . . .”

Our first flashback took us all the way back to 1982 – a time when the medical profession was very much an all-boys club, an all white boys club;  a time when doctors were largely ignorant about and frightened of immune system-related diseases and homosexuality.  It was also a time when people dressed like this . . .

Back then Webber was a just teetotaling, ambitious young resident trying to make a name for himself at Seattle Grace, while, at the same time, boinking Meredith’s Mommy, Ellis Grey, in the on-call room.  Yes, apparently, they did that in the 80s too.  Talk about sexually transmitted diseases . . .  How often do you think they sterilize that place?

“28 more years of this and we will ALL be under quarantine . . .”

When Ellis and Webber encounter a patient with a rare bacterial infection, they begin to suspect that he may have GRID, Gay Related Immune Deficiency Disorder, or AIDS, as it is now commonly called.  This was a highly sensitive subject for any doctor to broach during that time, let alone a young resident with minimal job security.  After all, few cases of the disorder had been discovered at this point, and very little was known about the disease. 

Apparently, homosexuality was just not something you talked about back then, it being a time before

 Will and Grace and . . .  well . . .

Grey’s Anatomy!

Initially, the patient takes Webber’s inquiry into his sexual orientation very badly.  He leaves the hospital in a huff, refusing treatment.  Unfortunately, a few weeks later, he returns, now extremely ill and desperate for help.  The problem is that, now that his secret is out, most of the doctors and nurses at Seattle Grace are afraid of infection and unwilling to help him.  THIS MUST BE A JOB FOR  . . .

 . . . no, not them, just Young Webber and Young Ellis Grey.

The dynamic duo risk their careers and, as far as they know, their lives, to save this patient.  Fortunately, the surgery goes well.  (Yay!) But . . . then the patient dies anyway (Boo!)  But, not before Webber learns of his own fallibility and the importance of maintaining your humanity as a surgeon.  (Yay!)  Then, afterwards, Ellis bullies the future Chief McBoozy into taking his first alcoholic drink. (Boo!)   But, before, that, we got to see how adorable Meredith looked at age 5.  (Yay!)

Needless to say, it was a very emotional rollercoaster-esque lecture.  Yet, at its conclusion, Webber gives a rousing speech about the importance of doctors adhering to the Hippocratic Oath.  He then raises his right hand and recites the Oath himself.  Admittedly, it was some pretty powerful stuff, and really served to highlight Webber’s true love of medicine.  Clearly affected by his own speech, the Old Chief ultimately decides to accept McDreamy’s offer and return to work.  (Yay!)

Bailey’s Lesson: Shark tales, a.k.a. The Birth of the Nazi

Before Miranda Bailey became the Nazi; before she turned into a strong, smart, powerful, but often angry, woman who looks like this . . .

Bailey was an overachieving but painfully shy and polite-to-a-fault intern, who looked like this . . .

The year was 2003.  While medicine had come a long way since 1982, there were still many obstacles for women who wanted to succeed in the healthcare industry.  And for many women, their biggest obstacle was one another.  That’s right.   Mean girls, unfortunately, stuck around long past the 80s . .

This movie came out in 2004 . . .

Despite the fact that Mean Girls wasn’t due out in theaters for another year, one of them had managed to sneak into Seattle Grace.  Bailey’s resident “advisor” is  a bitch with a Capital B.  And, like any two-dimensional villian, this 30-something year old woman tortured Young Bailey with the zeal, intensity (and maturity) of a 16-year old cheerleader who just found out that her boyfriend has decided to go to prom with the class nerd.

Be careful Bailey!  This never ends well for people like you . . .

Fortunately, for Bailey, she is due for a major personality transplant and stat!  And who performs said transplant, you ask?  None other than Superman Webber of course!  “Surgery is a shark tank, and sharks have teeth.  Be a shark, not a minnow,” the then-Chief instructs Bailey. 

And I bet you know what happens next . . .

That’s right!  Our Neo Nazi Bailey solves a difficult medical mystery.  Then,  in what we now know was the first of her eloquently angry, yet rousing, monologues, Bailey hands her bitchy resident advisor her ass on a platter for ordering countless unnecessary surgeries for a patient, who merely required medication.  “You are going to be a brilliant surgeon one day,” commends Webber (and we know that he is right!)

In addition to being an awesome surgeon, Bailey is also terrific public speaker.  She owns both the stage and her audience, awarding them for class participation with chocolates.  And as a nearly perpetual student, I can tell you that candy bribes WORK and work well!

Callie’s Lesson: “Everybody f&*ks Alex.”

You know who’s not so hot in the public speaking department?  The typically loud and brash Callie.  After vomiting up her breakfast in anticipation of the big event, Callie stumbles around stage, head tucked inside her notes, mumbling almost incoherently about the club footed patient her and Alex cared for back in 2006, when she was a new resident.

With Alex’s help, however, Callie ultimately recovers nicely.  She recounts for the group the immensely gratifying experience of repairing the leg of a 28-year old student who was told he could never walk.  When all of the other doctors discounted the patient, and berated Callie for mismanaging his expectations, Callie refused to give up.  As a result, this formerly bed-ridden man can now roam freely (with the help of some crutches, of course). 

And this wouldn’t be Grey’s Anatomy if the story didn’t end with an on-call room boink fest between Alex and Callie . . .

“I am so much better at doing this than public speaking  . . .”

Apparently, Alex has screwed the entire staff at Seattle Grace, and most of its patients.  That is one dirty boy!

Not only is Alex a slut, he is also, apparently a liar.  And Callie catches him in a real whopper.  As punishment, she forces him to perform the surgery he claimed to have already done by himself in an elevator shaft, even though that surgery was actually completed by Callie’s ex-hubby, the now deceased, George.

R.I.P. Dude!  The show hasn’t been the same since you left . . . really.

So, there you have it, folks.  A love letter to medicine, with three flashbacks, two sex scenes, lots of chocolate, and a shout out to an old friend.  Not bad for a single episode.

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