You are invited to dance with, screw, and possibly be murdered by some of the hottest vampires in Mystic Falls. R.S.V.P., A.S.A.P!
Howdy fangbangers! This week on TVD we had a BALL . . . multiple balls, in fact . . . depending on your definition of the term. 😉
It was also a very good week for dancing, shipping, and, of course, surprise “back door entrances.” So chug back a glass of Petrova Doppelganger blood, slip into your fanciest finery, and prepare for some “Dangerous Liaisons.”
My Knight and Shining Elijah
You’ve really gotta hand it to Kevin Williamson and Co. Somehow, they can take even the tiredest of TV and Movie tropes, and give them a fresh twist to make them seem new and interesting again. Case in point: you’ve probably all seen the “someone’s hiding in the backseat of your car” scene, about a few dozen times before tonight.
“Hey, would you mind lowering that axe, I can’t see out of my review mirror . . .”
And that’s precisely what I, and I suspect many of you, thought was coming, when the writers made a point of spending FIVE FULL MINUTES on Elena having a seemingly useless conversation with Matt outside the hospital, and SLOWLY getting her car ALONE, all the while, with the distinct feeling that SOMEONE WAS WATCHING HER.
What we didn’t expect was that the stalker in question wasn’t actually in Elena’s car, but rather, behind it, and then, subsequently, under it. That’s right, folks. Elena HIT and Ran Over her stalker. But when she emerged from the car to check out what had happened . . . wait for it . . . NO ONE WAS THERE . . .
Until SOMEONE HAD HER UP AGAINST THE WINDSHIELD OF A CAR . . . and not exactly in a hot, foreplay, way either . . .
Well, maybe in a little bit of a hot, foreplay, way . . .
But, worry not! The Gentleman Vampire Elijah is not going to let anything happen to the woman who shares a face with his first (and second) love, even if it means going against his sister . . .
“You are pathetic,” Rebekah seethes.
Umm . . . yeah, if by “pathetic” you mean “AWESOME!”
Cue TVD’s resident recapper Elijah’s filling in Elena, off screen about what happened in the last scene of “Bringing Out the Dead.” Now, that was a conversation I would have liked to have seen!
“Was it as good for you, as it was for me?”
Anyone Else Feeling Used?
Aside from that time, when she de-staked Elijah and didn’t tell anyone . . .
. . . this might be the first time Elena knows something about the supernatural world, before Damon and Stefan do. It’s kind of cool to see her schooling them, like that. Damon, in particular, is annoyed that the Scooby Gang did all this work to open the Fourth Coffin, only to find that it’s contents were nothing more than a Family Reunion Party in a pretty little package . . .
After all, if all Mama Original plans to do with Klaus, is kiss and make up with him . . . well that’s really not going to help him DIE, now is it?
And yet, as those of us who have already watched the episode know, Damon’s view of the situation is a bit myopic . . . And I mean that in the nicest way possible, TV Boyfriend . . .
Knock, Knock . . . Who’s there? No one?
Apparently, despite being thousands of years old, the Original Family has still not outgrown the game: “ding, dong, ditch.” Elena finds an invitation to the Michaelson’s (that’s the Original Family’s name, BTW) Ball. (I guess Damon’s and Stefan’s got lost in the “ditch.”)
On the back of the invitation is a little love note from Esther Original. It says, “Come and play with me at the party. I promise I won’t send Ghost Vicki to burn you alive in your car again, like last time. LOL. XOXO – Esther.”
Or something like that . . .
Elena wants to attend the sitdown, suspecting that perhaps it might help in the whole “Kill Klaus” thing. Stefan seems to agree with her
(either that, or he just thinks that agreeing with her will help him get into her pants faster). But Damon thinks it’s a terrible idea . . . probably because it is a terrible idea.
This isn’t the first time Elena has gotten involved with an Original, and Damon has disapproved . . . while Stefan sat back and watched, hands folded across his chest.
The difference, of course, is that back then, Stefan’s constant agreement with Elena, was his way of showing her love. Now, he’s agreeing with her to hide those same feelings.
“That’s your job,” Stefan says to Damon, regarding the responsibility of caring for Elena. This would be fine, if we DIDN’T just hear Stefan admit he was in love with Elena, last week.
Which version of Ripper Stefan are we going to get next week?
Make up your mind, Buddy!
At the end of the scene Damon promises to check out the whole Mommy Dearest thing for Elena. He assumes this means that he will get to go to the ball, while Cinderella Elena, and the trusty mouse that helps dress her (Stefan) will stay home. Silly Damon! What makes you think Elena would ever give up the opportunity to dance with you?
Meet the Michaelsons
In last week’s episode, all of the Original “kids” (if you can call them that), all seemed pretty united in kicking Klaus’ ass . . . both physically, and emotionally. But this week, we really got to see the various dynamics and alliances between them . . . For example, Kol seems to have an almost incestuous affection for his sister . . .
. . . has little love lost with his mother, and really, really, really does not get along with Klaus. (Now, we know why Klaus feared facing him alone.)
In some ways, Kol is scarier than Klaus, because he genuinely seems to lack anything resembling empathy . . . His only concern is himself (and maybe Rebekah). As for Klaus, as impulsive, calculating, and sometimes downright evil he can be, we all know that inside, he is made of mush, fatherly neglect, a need to be loved, and a deep, deep attraction to blonde baby vampires named Caroline . . .
Klaus’ mother, on the other hand, seems all goopy sweetness and light, which, at least on this show, makes her entirely suspect . . .
Speaking of suspect . . .
At Caroline’s house, we see her get a phone message from Tyler. This is actually Tyler’s only appearance in the entire episode . . . a disembodied voice in the iPhone. It’s sad, really. But I was glad that Tyler saw fit to call Caroline about her dad’s death, and that he’s trying to “cure” his sire bond for her. Caroline seemed touched as well.
. . . just not in the way he wanted to touch her, if you catch my drift.
Ding, Dong, Ditch, again! Like Elena, Caroline just landed herself an invitation to the Michaelson’s ball. But the little love note on the back of her card isn’t from Goopy Sweetness and Light, Esther. It’s from Klaus . . .
Did I mention he also bought her a dress? Oh Tyler. Get thee back to Mystic Falls pronto. Your hours and hours of sacrifice and excruciating pain are no match for the likes of Tiffany and Vera Wang . . .
Over at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls, Elena and Caroline discuss the freaky weirdness that is the Michaelson’s ball. “It’s some freaky Cinderella fetish,” Caroline muses.
There is some discussion as to which Salvatore will be escorting Elena to the ball, since one of them recently lost his “feelings” chip, and the other one, MADE OUT WITH HER, LIKE A BAMF!
Yeah . . . apparently, Little Witch Bonnie is fairly lame, when it comes to the whole “secrets keeping” thing.
Caroline is more than a bit hurt that Elena didn’t tell her, herself, especially considering how quickly Elena told Caroline the first time she and Matt kissed. It’s funny how vampires and a supernatural lifestyle can mess with your priorities. Speaking of Matt, he actually seems to be the only one who actually gets his invitation to the ball handed to him, by Rebekah, no less . . .
“Is it about moi, then?”
Caroline and Elena look on with concern, and decide that they should attend the ball, after all, if only to prevent a guy they both dated, once upon a time, from being eaten . . .
Cinderella Fetishism at its Best . . .
It may be the Michaelson’s dance, but the place it’s held looks suspiciously like Tyler Lockwood’s house. Am I wrong? I guess it’s just easier to use and reuse this set, everytime Mystic Falls has one of it’s big fancy parties.
Also, the place is packed! What’s the population of Mystic Falls, anyway, especially considering that about three humans and three random supernatural characters seem to get killed here, at least once a week? I mean, if that’s not population control, I don’t know what is? Additionally . . . THEY ONLY HAVE ONE BAR / SOCIAL ESTABLISHMENT. . . New York City, it clearly, isn’t . . .
But i digress . . . Damon — who may or may not have gotten his own invitation — is flirting with Carol Lockwood, who claims she is playing nice with the vampire neighbors, in order to keep her town safe. Enter Kol, who, in about two minutes, manages to disarm Tyler’s mom, and brutally insult Damon, in one quick shot.
This town doesn’t have a prayer . . .
Generally speaking, our man Damon doesn’t take kindly to insults, particularly by vampires. But fortunately for Kol, Damon is a bit distracted by a recent occupant of the ballroom. It’s Elena. And between her curled hair, vampy makeup, and big poofy black sequined ball gown, she’s looking more than a bit Katherine-y. Damon most definitely approves . . .
I’ll never get over the way Damon looks at Elena, particularly when she’s dressed up. What girl wouldn’t want to be looked at that way, by the man of her dreams? And Elena gets to be looked at that way by two men?
After expressing annoyance with Elena for disregarding their wishes and attending the ball, both Damon and Stefan offer themselves up as her escort . . . one sexy suited vamp per arm. It just doesn’t get much better than that, folks . . .
While our main love triangle is already enjoying the festivities, Caroline is still at home, trying in vain to find something to wear to the party that isn’t the dress Klaus purchased for her. We know she owns at least other ballroom gown . . . the one she wore to the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. But it’s NO Klaus Gown, and Caroline knows it.
The box remains on her bed, taunting her . . . teasing her . . . “Wear me!” It says, in Klaus’ accent.
Caroline sighs, having no choice but to obey . . . blame it on the “sire dress” bond, or whatever . . .
Caroline seemingly arrives at the dance, about two seconds later. I’d say this was an editing problem. But vamps do have superhuman speed after all. One look at Klaus’ face, as he sees Caroline enter the room, clad in his dress AND his bracelet, and we know, for certain that the Big Bad Original Vamp isn’t the one holding the cards in this relationship. “Love is a vampire’s greatest weakness,” Klaus has been quoted as saying.
Well, Bad Boy . . . get ready to get weak!
“I need a drink,” are Caroline’s first words to Klaus, as she sidesteps him, and heads to the bar. (a.k.a. the party version of I can’t go out with you, because “I’m washing my hair.”)
But Klaus isn’t giving up so fast . . .
Finn pops by Elena to remind him that her invitation didn’t come with a “plus one,” and it certainly didn’t come with a “plus 2.” He reminds her that, if she wants to hang with the Original Witch, she’s going to have to go in there alone. Well, of course she does! The question is, will Damon let her . . .
Speaking of Damon, he finds Elena again, just as the Michaelsons request that their guests join them in a waltz.
Sly little doobie that he is, Damon manages to keep Elena from traipsing after the Original Mother by reminding her how orgasmic the pair can be on a dance floor. “It would be rude not to dance,” whispers Damon in her ear, as he delicately grabs hold of her arm.
And suddenly, it’s the Miss Mystic Falls pageant all over again . . .
“You look stunning, if it isn’t obvious,” says Damon, admiring his dance partner with a reverence and awe, bordering on religious.
When it comes to dancing, Damon and Elena possess a language that is all their own. It is in the way that they look at, and touch one another . . . and how they glide across a dance hall together, incredibly in sync, as if they are meant to be doing nothing else.
Stefan looks on with obvious jealousy. Well, well, well, look who decided to wear his emotions this week?
Speaking of Stefan, I thought it was interesting that he “cut in” at the dance, by twirling Elena toward him, since that’s precisely what Damon did to him, back in “The Last Dance.”
The parallel to that episode is quite fitting, when you think about how, back then, Damon accused Stefan of being too emotionally attached to Elena to make the hard decisions regarding Klaus’ death, and her safety. “I’m the one that’s going to keep her alive,” he said memorably.
Now, it’s Damon, playing the role of the emotionally attached, and Stefan, in the role of cold-hearted protector. It’s for this reason, at least partially, that Elena seeks a private audience with Stefan, whereas, at this time last year, she might have chosen Damon . . .
Her specific request is for Stefan to help Elena get in to Mama Original, without Damon following her, or trying to stop her. “You care more about
boning killing Klaus than anything,” am I wrong? Elena inquires of her ex.
Stefan hesitates for a few moments, but ultimately agrees. At this point, both parties know that Stefan’s whole “I have no feelings” thing, is totally a charade, but they decide to go along with it, anyway. Elena muses that Stefan’s tendency to allow Elena make whatever stupid decision she’s decided to make for the week, without argument, is something she loved about him, while they were dating, and still loves now.
It would seem that Elena, like a certain Vampire Katherine, before her, prefers her boyfriends to be pliant and obedient . . . Go figure!
Meanwhile, Klaus and Caroline are doing their own little flirtatious waltz. Though our first official introduction to this duo, was the whole “arm sucking / life saving” thing, this is the first time we’ve really had the opportunity to see these two interact on a sort-of even playing field.
It’s fun to see how disarmed Klaus is by Caroline. He’s in total wooing mode, and not quite sure how to handle her wariness, or feistiness. This is a woman he can’t control through fear. And while he could theoretically compel her (assuming she’ not on vervain), that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun, as what he’s doing now . . .
Speaking of Caroline’s wariness, and feistiness, this is really the first time we’ve seen a woman interact with Klaus who isn’t deathly afraid of him. (Though some might argue, she probably should be . . . she most of all.) Elena, Bonnie, Katherine, even Klaus’ own sister, to some extent, all treated the Original Hybrid with a certain degree of terror and disdain. But Caroline’s almost stupidly brave around Klaus, having no qualms at all about sassing him, or insulting him. And it’s that aspect of her personality that seems to intrigue him, all the more . . .
Like Tyler, Klaus begins by apologizing about Caroline’s dad’s death, but Caroline won’t hear it. So, he instead smugly remarks on her choice of dress and jewelry, despite her protestations that she is “spoken for” by Klaus’ very own sire, Tyler.
But I think my favorite exchange between these two, was when Klaus noted that Caroline was a good dancer, and Caroline explained that she was Miss Mystic Falls. “I know,” responded Klaus with a grin.
Apparently, not even Original Hybrids are above Googling the objects of their affection . . .
In which Elena pisses me off THREE TIMES in under twenty minutes . . .
Elena texts Damon to meet her in the study. And when he arrives he’s attacked from behind, by his own brother, who BREAKS HIS NECK. Elena looks sad about this, for all of one second, before dashing upstairs to meet the Original Mother. – Time Elena Pissed Me Off this Week # 1
En route to Mommy Dearest, Elena runs into Elijah, who’s seemed more than a bit smitten with her of late. Memories of Tatiya, I guess. (Man, is there anyone on this show, aside from Klaus, who isn’t head over heels for this girl. It’s frustrating!) Elijah admits to Elena that he’s not quite sure of his own mother’s motives for bringing the family together. And it’s causing him to ask questions, he never thought he would ask. “Can I depend on you to tell me what she says?” Elijah asks.
Elena agrees. Poor Elijah. You might be honorable. But the girl to whom you are speaking just convinced her ex boyfriend to break his brother / her sort-of lovers’ neck. Now to me, that does very little to render her statements to you, at all trustworthy . . .
When Elena arrives in the Original Hybrid’s bedroom, Finn is there. And there’s just something weirdly incestuous about the relationship between these two, as well! It’s a little gross. I’m not going to lie. Apparently, this is the part of the episode where the Original Mother answers our questions about how the f*&k she came to be here, in the first place.
According to Mama Original, when Klaus killed her, Ayanna her witchy friend, preserved her body, so that she could leave it, and traverse the spirit world for over 1,000 years, without her corporeal form rotting away. (That’s how she got in touch with Ghost Vampire Vicki in Ghost World. It’s also how she still has witchy powers, even though, we’ve been told that vampires can’t be witches, and vice versa.) Apparently, Ayanna was a Bennett, and that’s why the Bennett Mother /Daughter duo were the only ones capable of opening her coffin.
Oh, and did I mention that she wants to KILL ALL HER KIDS!!!!
Yeah, apparently, she’s decided they are an abomination, or something . . . Right, because a 1,000 year old woman, who’s body has been preserved for 1,000 years, and is trying to murder all her children isn’t an abomination at all . . .
She also apparently threw this whole entire ridiculous ball, just to get her kiddies to drink some cursed champagne. Now, that’s just silly, Mama Original! Your children are perpetual twenty-somethings. You don’t need a big fat ball to get them to drink liquor! They probably do it on their own, every day.
Mama Original explains that she needs the Doppelganger’s blood in the champagne toast, in order to bind the Original Siblings together. (“One drink
ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them.” It’s Lord of the Rings all over again!) Elena gladly offers her blood, without knowing exactly why she’s giving it. The Original Mother conveniently explains it to her, afterword. “Kill one Original, kill them all.”
Yeah, this woman sucks ass, in a big way . . . worse than her husband, even. Why are the parents on this show so universally despicable? What message does that give our youth? Just sayin’.
Back in the library, Damon awakens to Stefan standing over him, with a smug smile on his face. Let the brotherly ass kicking begin! Name calling is involved. I seem to recall both brothers referring to one another a “controlling dick,” which makes me think dirty thoughts. Stefan accuses Damon of “caring too much,” an accusation that erstwhile villain Damon finds both ironic and offensive, and so do I.
Damon then storms off, in search of his errant lady love . . .
Much like Katherine, before her, it seems that screwing up the Salvatore brother’s relationship is one of Elena’s greatest talents.
DON’T DRINK AND DIE!
Elena is standing next to Elijah at the time that the Original Hybrid makes her dreaded champagne toast. Before it happens, Elijah asks Elena what his mother said to her, and she lies through her teeth, claiming that all Esther wanted to do was apologize to her for the whole “lock you in a burning car” thing. Elijah believes Elena, seemingly, without question. And his unfailing faith in her lying ass, makes me incredibly sad.
But I’m about to get angry. . .
For a few hopeful seconds, it looks as though Elena might prevent Elijah from drinking down his cup of death. It would be so easy to do. All she’d have to do is trade glasses with him . . . or accidentally/on purpose knock the cup from his hand . . . or say, “Don’t drink that, I think Klaus peed in it.”
But NOOOOO! She just lets Elijah drink his own death warrant.
What a heinous b*tch! – Time Elena Pissed Me off This Week # 2
A horse is a horse, of course, of course . . .
After the Death Toast, Klaus finds Caroline admiring a horse. She’s a fan of the animals, because they are cute. He likes them because they are loyal. Klaus then tell a nice little story about how his father killed his horse / only friend as a warning.
Oh Klaus, you really know how to sweet talk a girl. There’s nothing like severed horse heads to get a female in the mood . . .
In true Elena fashion, Caroline lectures Klaus on the importance of ironing out differences with your daddy, no matter how many of your horses he has slaughtered. This way, when he dies, you will have no regrets. . . well, aside from regretting that he’s dead, of course. And, in Klaus’ case, regretting that YOU killed him. (But, hey, no family relationship is perfect, right?)
Caroline then gets all sassy again, by telling Klaus that she likes horses AND people. But that people also like her too, probably because she doesn’t try to use them in sacrifice rituals . . .
Later Klaus takes Caroline to his personal art collection, and offers to take her around the world . . . anywhere she wants to go.
Caroline seems entirely tempted, in spite of herself. Evil as he might be, Klaus has really been on his best, and most charming behavior, when it comes to Caroline . . . well, except for the whole “trying to get Tyler to kill her” thing . . . (I’m honestly not sure why Caroline hasn’t made that connection yet.)
Did I mention that Klaus is an artist, himself? And that he tends to draw pictures of the women he “fancies” . . . women like Caroline? Who knew!
But things go south a bit, when Caroline remarks annoyedly of her future boyfriend’s tendency to snap his fingers to get what he wants, and turn them into hybrids when he needs new “friends.” She then pointedly asks Klaus to break the sire bond, between him and Tyler.
After all of Caroline’s remarks, it’s this one that seems to piss Klaus off the most. “I think it’s time for you to leave,” he says petulantly, like a little kid who’s childhood playmate has started calling him names.
But Caroline isn’t done with Klaus, quite yet. “You don’t connect with people, because you don’t try to understand them,” Caroline yells, tossing the super expenive bracelet to the floor, before stomping off.
The assessment seems to affect Klaus deeply, and cause a lot of brooding, on his part.
But Klaus recovers quickly enough to leave Caroline yet another secret gift. This time it’s a handdrawn picture of her next to a horse. Out of context, this seems like an odd, and potentially offensive gift. But given Caroline’s and Klaus’ pony bonding moment, it’s actually a really sweet gesture.
Oh, and there’s also a note . . .”Thank you for your honesty,” it says.
WOW, Klaus must REALLY like being insulted. 😉 At least, now we know how to get into his pants!
Toward the end of the episode, Caroline calls Tyler and begs him to return home. Now, we KNOW she’s falling for Klaus. If she wasn’t, I suspect she wouldn’t be quite so insistent on her boyfriend’s presence as a buffer between them.
Choices . . . choices.
Speaking of buffers . . .
“I’m mad at you, because I’m in love with you.”
When Elena runs into Damon, after getting Stefan to break his neck, she has some serious explaining to do. They are in eachother’s faces again. His hand is on her arm. Their eyes and mouths are inches apart from one another.
In the heat of passion, Damon tells Elena he loves her, for the third time, in their relationship. (Though, in her defense, she still doesn’t remember the first time.)
“Well, maybe that’s the problem,” Elena says coldly.
OK . . . WHAT . . . THE . . . F*&K! SERIOUSLY, ELENA! – Time Elena Pissed Me off This Week # 3 through 1,022!
First of all? Coldest, most callous response to an “I love you,” EVER! Second of all, since when does Little Miss Touchy Feely Elena accuse someone of being TOO EMOTIONAL and caring. Hasn’t she just spent the past three seasons TRYING to get Damon to “be the better man” and feel?
Ugh! Who peed in Elena’s cheerios this morning, and made her such a heinous b*tch? We’re totally in a fight right now, her and I . . .
“I care too much . . . I’m a liability . . . How ironic is that?” Damon scoffs.
How ironic, indeed!
Matt’s Knight and Shining Damon
Elsewhere in the party, Kol and Rebekah decide to kill Matt for sh*ts and giggles. They figure it will piss off their mother, and hurt Elena at the same time. But then Matt chivalrously offers Rebekah his coat, and all bets are off.
(Wow, girlfriend must REALLY have never had a guy be nice to her to be so incredibly easy to win over. A cheap ratty coat . . . for a vampire? Seriously!)
Kol, however, is
super jealous of Matt, because his sister might actually want to bone him not quite as needy for affection as his sister. So, he accosts Matt on the balcony later that night, and proceeds to break his arm . . . literally.
But worry not, Matt fans! It’s Damon to the rescue!
He throws Kol OFF THE BALCONY, jumps after him, and starts pummeling the pretty boy’s face, like it’s his job. But, of course, when the rest of the party guests emerge from the house to investigate the commotion, Damon, being Damon, just stomps away, instead of explaining why he did what he did . . .
Quite the bad ass martyr, that Damon . . .
Through the back door . . .
Back at the mansion, Elijah lets his mother know he has done damage control, on the whole vampire fighting thing. “I wish the others were more like you, Elijah,” coos Mother Dearest. (Yeah, Mommy. If you have your way, they will all be like Elijah . . . DEAD.)
Inside mommy’s chambers is her boyfriend / husband, Finn, to whom Mama Original complains that Elijah is too “moral.” “Morality is a vampire’s greatest weakness, apparently.” (Good ole TVD, always teaching us the tough life lessons.)
Apparently, Finn is in on his mom’s whole “kill her kids” plan. “I’m ready to die,” says Finn, who must agree with his mother, about the whole “vampires are abominations” thing.
Great . . . just what our pop culture lexicon needs, another self-loathing vampire . . .
It’s frustrating really, because, if I was a vampire, I would love the sh*t out of myself. No joke. Vampires are awesome . . . particularly, the non-suicidal ones.
To complete spell, we see Finn cut his hand, and drip his blood on a piece of paper, which maps out a bloody family tree across him and his siblings’ names, etch-a-sketch style. I guess this is like the paper version of Bonnie’s nosebleeds . . .
Back at the Gilbert house, Stefan walks Elena home, while she informs him of the Wicked Original Witch’s nefarious kid-killing plans. The former reminds Elena that she has nothing to feel guilty about, in terms of killing Elijah, because Klaus has brought nothing but darkness into her life. (Ummm . . . maybe . . . but Klaus isn’t Elijah.)
The pair also both admit to one another that they were mean to Damon, and that this might explain why he went after Kol the way he did. If only they knew . . .
As Stefan is leaving, Elena calls him back to the site of the epic Delena kiss.
(That is sacred ground, Elena. Don’t you dare kiss him, or I will hack off your lips, and send them to you via Fed Ex.) She wants to know how Stefan can “not feel,” and wishes that she could do the same thing. Well, Elena, for what it’s worth, I thought you were pretty unfeeling to Damon! So, that’s progress in the “becoming heartless” department! Stefan then pretty much admits to Elena, that the reason he’s seemingly turned off his humanity, and has been pretending not to care about Elena, is not to protect her, but to protect himself from the pain of reliving what he did last summer . . . and, of course, reliving his BITING of Elena. (No word on reliving that time, when he tried to drive her off a cliff.)
Elena seems heartened by this, somewhat . . .
Over at the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls a gloomy Matt ignores Rebekah’s apologies and romantic advances, because her brother BROKE HIS ARM, and he doesn’t have health insurance. (Apparently, the only health coverage Only Bar gives it’s employees is a lifetime supply of vervain.)
“I should have killed him,” pouts Rebekah.
Be afraid, Matt. Be very afraid.
Enter Drunk Damon, who’s chugging whiskey straight out of the bottle that he’s conveniently brought to the bar from home. “Rejected by the high school football captain,” he says sliding into the seat next to her. “Welcome to adolescence.”
After tossing back a shot or two, Damon reminds Rebekah that she would have crushed Matt in bed anyway, and that she should find someone more . . . ahem . . . durable.
Next thing you know