Sorry Brunettes, Gingers, Silver Foxes, and Raven-Haired Beauties! This week on Once, if your hair is not the color of sunshine, Tweety Bird or scrambled eggs, this woman wants you dead . . . like yesterday.
“Is it too late to invest in some bleach?”
She’s Snow Hitler, basically . . .
Elsewhere in Fairytale Land, Belle did a pretty crappy thing to Anna for a pebble and an even crappier thing to Rumpelstiltskin for a hat box.
“Oh Rumple! I just had this horrible nightmare in which I acted like a total asshole for an entire episode . . . oh, you mean that wasn’t a dream? Crap!”
And Hook? Well, he didn’t do very much at all, save looking sexy and making some wry comments about how gosh darn incestuous Storybrooke has become . . .
Still so pretty though . . .
So hug your favorite Rock Troll and steer clear of evil mirrors that talk too much, because it’s time for another Once Upon a Time Recap . . .
(You can check out the rest of this recap here.)
Back in the very late 90s, there was a ridiculously bad movie called Idle Hands about a teenage boy who somehow managed to get his hand possessed by a serial killer. (Don’t you just hate it when that happens?) What followed was 90 VERY LONG minutes of the “evil hand” killing the teen’s friends, family, and, most depressingly, his cat (who, spoiler alert, was the only remotely likeable character in the entire film). Through it all, the teen just stared dumbfounded at his super busy body part, like a guy on a really bad acid trip . . .
This week’s installment of Once Upon a Time was a Disney-fied take on that story, with a twist, or, dare I say, a hook, at the end that made the premise much more palatable.
(More importantly, I am happy to report that no cats were harmed in the making of this episode . . .)
. . . just a knave . . . and some really old guy.
Let’s review, shall we?
To read the rest of this snarktastic recap, click here.