The Baby Sitters Club and Sweet Valley Twins – They’re BAAACK!

The Summer Before, a prequel to the critically acclaimed (not to mention AWESOME) Babysitter’s Club series is now available in bookstores.  The first four books in the original series are also being updated and re-released.

Sweet Valley Confidential, a book that chronicles the lives of the gorgeous and popular Wakefield twins, Elizabeth and Jessica, as they enter their late 20s and early 30s, should hit bookstores around February 2011.

Upon reaching the ripe old age of seven, I unilaterally decided that I was TOO OLD to read picture books.  And so, after pleading my case to my mother one weekend, the two of us hit the library, in search of “Big Girl Books.”  Holding my mother’s hand, I steered her clear away from the Children’s Book section, and headed determinedly toward the section containing books for “Juveniles and Young Adults.” 

Two series immediately caught my eye, based on the sheer volume of related books to choose from.  Both sets of books offered “pretty” covers, featuring enviably attractive “Big Girls,” who appeared to be significantly older, wiser, and cooler than myself.  (Who says you can’t judge a book by its cover?)  The names of the two series?  The Babysitter’s Club and Sweet Valley Twins!  I grabbed the first two books of each series off the shelf, and was on my way.  And so began my long-term childhood friendship with a motley crew of babysitters, and two twin girls with vastly different personalities . . .

For the uninitiated, The Babysitters Club was initially comprised of four girls.  Bossy Tomboy Kristy, Shy and Sensitive Mary Anne, Boycrazy New York Native Stacey, and the Artistic, but Academically Challenged, Claudia.  In later books, the Club expanded to include Vegetarian California Girl Dawn and junior members – Bookish Horse lover Mallory, and Graceful Ballet Dancer Jessi.  Most of the books would focus on the adventures of one particular club member, while using the babysitting experiences of  her friends as subplots.  As for me, I was probably most like the  Mary Anne character, but WANTED to be most like Stacey, because she was BLONDE,  POPULAR, GOOD AT MATH, and all the boys liked her.  Sure, Mary Anne had Logan as a boyfriend, but honestly, he seemed pretty lame.  (I’m sorry, but how many manly middle school boys do you know that actually ENJOYED babysitting?)

“Think she’d notice, if I closed my eyes and pretended she was a DUDE?”

I absolutely ADORED these books.  And spent WAY too much time fretting over the lives of the aforementioned characters.  (“OMG!  Kristy is moving into a mansion!  She’s so lucky!”)  (“WOW!  Dawn and Mary Anne are stepsisters now.  FUN!”)  (“WTF!  Stacey is moving away!”)  (“OH NO!  Claudia thinks she’s ADOPTED!”)

In addition to reading the books, I also owned a Babysitters Club wall calendar, postcard book, and diary. 

I saw the movie (which wasn’t nearly as good as the books).  And watched the television series (which ALSO wasn’t as good as the books).  The TV series, in particular, had some pretty crap acting.  For an example, check out this old clip I found on YouTube.  It just may feature a familiar face . . .

Some of my friends and I even attempted to start our own babysitters club.  However, since the oldest of us was 9 at the time, we didn’t get many clients . . .  For a time, I even tried to draw little hearts over my “i” s when writing in school, like the Stacey character did in her babysitting journal entries,  but that didn’t stick either . . . 

Ann M. Martin wrote literally hundreds of Babysitters books.  The original series ran from 1986 through 2000.  And you know what?  In all that time, the kids NEVER AGED!  By the time the series ended, these characters seemed more like kids that I would babysit, instead of the other way around.  I have a theory as to why this is, but I’d rather keep it to myself, if you don’t mind . . .

And now, after nearly a decade away, it appears that the girls are about to get even YOUNGER! Age discrepancies aside, when I heard that Ann M. Martin was writing a prequel to the series entitled, The Summer Before, I was super psyched!  I don’t care that I’m too old, I am TOTALLY reading this book.  The seven-year old inside of me demands it! 

Of course, part of me wishes that Martin had chosen to write a sequel, instead of a prequel, so that I could finally find out whether my babysitting pals ever actually graduated the eighth grade . . .  But until that happens, at least I will be able to check in on my OTHER friends, the Wakefields.

If The Babysitters Club were the fictional girls that I most wanted as my friends, the Wakefield twins were the fictional girls I most wanted to BE!  It was as if Francine Pascal, took the super cool Stacey character from The Babysitters series, transplanted her to the West Coast, cloned her, and gave her a book series all her own!  Elizabeth was the smart, conscientious one — an excellent student, and class newspaper editor, with designs on a future career in journalism.   She was kind of a goody-goody, and a tad boring, most of the time.  So, of course, I related to her the most (even though I didn’t really want to) . . .

Jessica was a Total Bitch!  Your classic mean girl.

She could care less about school or grades.  And was only interested in boys and popularity, and her snooty “elite” club called The Unicorns.

Really, Francine Pascal?  This was what you chose as your “Cool Girl” Mascot?

Throughout most of the series, Jessica took advantage of Elizabeth and generally treated her like crap.  But, like any abusive relationship, she always apologized during the last few pages.  So, Elizabeth, a glutton for punishment, took her back.  And for some reason, despite all her evilness, us readers liked her anyway . . . (We even liked her more than we liked Elizabeth, although most of us didn’t want to admit it . . .)

Unlike The Babysitters Club series, which focused exclusively on the characters’ middle school years.  We got to watch Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield throughout their childhood, and up through young adulthood.  In fact, before the first book in the  Sweet Valley Twins series was even released, there was Sweet Valley High, which detailed the highschool adventures of the Wakefield twins.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason (she never told me why), my mom wouldn’t let me read these books.  I eventually read the first few when I was a bit older.  And they WERE surprisingly risque, especially considering the time during which they were written.  Upon turning 14, Jessica Wakefield went from just being a bitch, to being a bitch AND a slut. 

In addition to these two series, Francine Pascal went on to release Sweet Valley Kids, which featured the twins in second and third grade . . .

Sweet Valley Senior Year (self explanatory), and the Sweet Valley University series.  Oh, and of course, there was a TV show . . .

 . . . which I never watched.

After taking a few years off, it appears that the Wakefield twins are back in action.  In addition to the new Sweet Valley Confidential book (or, as I like to call it, Sweet Valley Adults), Juno writer, Diablo Cody, is also, apparently, in the process of penning a movie featuring the girls.

 . . . although something tells me, were they actually to exist, Elizabeth and Jessica wouldn’t exactly be buddy-buddy with Diablo.  Those tatts alone would send the prissy Wakefields running for the Hollywood Hills.  Now THAT’S something I’d like to see on the big screen!

Let’s TALK About Sex (But Not Actually DO IT): A Recap of Grey’s Anatomy’s “Push”

“I am dressed like this, and all you want to do is talk about your ‘feelings’?  Seriously?”

Watching Grey’s Anatomy tonight was like reading one of those relationship advice columns they put in the back of fashion magazines: there was tons of psychobabble, a few choice one-liners, and virtually NO ACTION! (Save for a single hot — but way too PG for my taste — Bailey and Gasman smooch, buried at the back end of the episode.) 

Playing the part of “Dear Abby” this week was Callie, who, like the aforementioned relationship columnist, sagely dealt out bite-sized morsels of free advice to her colleagues throughout the episode, until she found herself in a lovers’ quandary of her own . . .

So, without further adieu, let’s take a look at the lonelyhearts letters that found their way into Callie’s inbox during this episode . . .

Dear Callie,

My character has been an insufferable hypocritical tool for about a half-dozen episodes now.  First, I dumped my significantly younger girlfriend for an inconsequential guest star my daughter.   Then, I traveled to Private Practice LA and boinked a friend of mine, but bitched out my ex when she did the same thing.  Finally, I continue to berate and threaten my ex’s sort-of new beau for having the gall to screw MY WOMAN, even though I am currently screwing the entire nurse’s staff in the on-call room.  How should the writers go about redeeming me to the viewers?

Sincerely,

Dr. McSteamy Turdface

In the episode’s opening moments, Mark Sloan a.k.a McSteamy is working out his pectorals, like a man, and whining about his loneliness, like a cranky toddler.  Callie suggests that Sloan find himself an age-appropriate woman, and begin a mature adult relationship with her.  She reasons that such a relationship will enable Sloan to, ultimately, get married and produce an army of little baby Sloans, all with excellent hair and a talent for bedding members of the opposite sex.

Sloan sets his sights on Teddy, to whom he has said maybe two words, since she has first appeared on the show.

“Well . . . you’ve f&#ked every other character on this show.  I guess it’s my turn .  . .”

Initially, the spunky, but highly socially awkward, Teddy literally laughs in Sloan’s face when he asks her out.  However, a few choice words from Arizona cause the Cardio God to reconsider.  “Mark is like candy,”Arizona offers.  “You eat it and then you forget about it.”  In other words . . .

Teddy takes Arizona’s advice, and tells Sloan she would like to meet him after work for drinks (and a late night game of “hide the salami”).  But Teddy balks again when Sloan suggests “dinner.” After all, dinner with Sloan sounds less like a piece of candy that you suck on and forget, and more like a 16 oz. rib eye steak that’s tough to chew, full of bones, and often ends up stuck in your teeth afterward. 

Not a lollipop . . .

At the episode’s conclusion, Sloan makes his third and final offer: lunch.    Sloan explains he wants to date Teddy in broad daylight to make sure she is not a vampire, because he would ultimately like to get married and have lots of babies.  (Yeah, I didn’t really get it either . . .)

If a man I barely knew asked me out on a first date, by babbling on about marriage and children, you know what my response would be?

 But, maybe that’s just me  . . . Teddy actually seemed kind of turned on by the whole thing.  Go figure!

Dear Callie,

It has been a LONNNNGGGG time since I last went on a date.  To give you a better idea of just how long it has been, I have enclosed a photograph of the outfit I wore on my last date:

In fact, the only person I have ever had sex with in my entire life was my ex-husband.  Now I am dating this total studmuffin.  Tonight is my THIRD DATE (and you know what that means . . .).  Not only do I have no clue how to raise the “sex issue,” I’m also really scared of sleeping with him too soon.  After all, he is leaving the show soon to star in a stupid Shondra Rhimes pilot I don’t want to get hurt.  What should I do?

Very truly yours,

Frightened of Fornicating

Chandra Wilson was absolutely adorable during this episode: asking Callie to pick up condoms for her, because she was too embarrassed to do it herself, dodging Chief Shephard when he asked her about her lunchtime appointment, and freaking out at the suggestion of getting a Brazilian wax in preparation for her date (I too have had the “surgical field” conversation with my girlfriends.  It happens to be quite a divisive issue among the female population.)

At the end of the episode, Bailey and Gasman have their iconic third date at his house.  I loved how Gasman called Bailey out on her incessant monologues, and how she tends to use them as a defense mechanism to keep others at bay.  I also thoroughly enjoyed the new couple’s sex talk.  Sure, it sounded like something directly out of an After-School Special, but these two talented actors made the stilted dialogue work well.  What the heck is Shondra Rhimes doing, making us fall for this man, only to steal him away, once we become truly attached to him?  Shame on her!

Dear Callie,

I REALLY NEED to win the Harper Avery Award!  It’s been kind of a crappy year for me.  I just got back from rehab, and my new pipsqueak of a boss keeps kicking me while I’m down, and reminding me of my new lower status in the medical world.  If I won the Avery Award, I could rub it in his pretty boy face.  How do I get that award, dammit?

Sincerely,

Former Dr. McBoozy (Future Avery Award winner?)

I know it sounds terrible to say this, but the whole massive tumor storyline was neither particulary unique nor interesting. (The actor and actress potraying the husband and wife pair grappling with a terminal illness, did a great job, however).  I’m also getting a bit tired of the constant medical one-upmanship aspect of the show. 

 I’d be a bit concerned if I checked into a hospital where all the doctors ever did was show off their techniques for one another and screw each other in the on-call room, instead of ummm . . . you know, trying to make me healthy?  And why does every technique these doctors perform have to be “new” and “never done before.”  What happened to the basics of healing?

In short, Owen’s and Richard’s fight to care for the right to operate on the massive tumor patient was lame.  As was Derek’s excuse for choosing Owen’s “fly by the seat of my pants” technique for the surgery over Richard’s methodical one.  What made this storyline bearable was Cristina Yang. 

I love how she played these two men off of one another for her own personal gain.   I also enjoyed her little dig at Dr. Hotness Jackson Avery for talking up his grandfather’s purportedly altruistic reasons for creating the award in question.   “This has been a message from the Harper Avery Foundation . . .” – classic! 

Also, classic was Meredith’s threatening Owen, after she caught him acting jealous of Sloan for dating Teddy, when he is SUPPOSED to be involved with Cristina.  “[Christina] is part of my team,” asserted Meredith.  “Hurt her and I’ll kick your ass!” 

While Meredith proved herself to be a loyal friend to Cristina, she was significantly  less of one to her half-sister Lexie.  Big Grey merely stared at her sibling, dumbfounded, when Lexie broke down in tears in the bathroom, upon realizing that Sloan was moving on, and that she was not yet over him.  Would a pat on the back have been too much to ask for?

Clearly, Meredith never owned one of these, as a child . . .

In other news, Arizona,  Perky Patron of all things Pediatric, does not want children EVER, but Callie does, and that biological clock is just ticking away.  I smell trouble brewing on the horizon for these two . . .

Does this mean we can’t watch Saturday morning cartoons in bed together anymore?

So what did you think of this episode?  Are you happy about the prospective Teddy / Sloan coupling?  Will jealousy make Owen reevaluate his feelings for Teddy and Christina?  Can Bailey and Gasman possibly make it work when they are on two different television shows?  How do YOU prepare your “surgical field” for date three?

Anatomy of a Trailer: Sex and the City 2

I was a big fan of the original HBO series, Sex and the City (based loosely on a book by Candace  Bushnell of the same name),  which ran from 1998 through 2004.  Aside from being titilatingly naughty, hysterically funny, and breathtakingly sexy, the series had a lot of really insightful things to say about what it meant to be a single woman during the early 21st century.

As I grew older (I was still in high school when the show first aired.  So, my friends and I couldn’t talk about, much less do the things shown on the show without blushing), the series became increasingly relevant to my daily life.  Even though Sex and the City has been off the air for nearly six years now, I still find myself recalling episodes and quoting lines from the show when discussing dating and relationship problems with my friends and family.  Oh, and did I mention it was FILLED with hot naked men?

When the first Sex and the City movie came out in 2008, I’ll admit that I was a bit underwhelmed.  Sure, the characters were all there, and the fashion was amazing.  Yet, it just seemed to be lacking some of the humor, fun, and light-heartedness of the original series.  And let’s face it, there WASN’T NEARLY ENOUGH SEX!!!!

So, when I heard they were making a sequel to the film, in the iconic words of Carrie Bradshaw, herself, “I couldn’t help but wonder,” are the producers of this film simply beating a dead horse (a botoxed horse, clad in Jimmy Choo horseshoes and a Vera Wang saddle, but a dead one nonetheless)?

Take a look at the trailer, and see what you think . . .

Here’s what I saw:

:11 – Growing up just outside New York City, one of the things I always loved about Sex and the City was that, it was, at its core, a love letter to Manhattan.  Too many television shows and films nowadays claim to take place in Manhattan, but are actually taped in L.A. or someplace in Canada.  I liked being able to watch the show and pick out actual places I’ve been and things I’ve done in NYC. Of course, seeing as I was a student during the entirety of the Sex and the City run, I couldn’t afford most of the places the SATC girls hung out (and, mostly, still can’t).

That being said, I love that this trailer opens with gorgeous aerial shots of NYC, shown to the tune of Jay Z’s and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind.”  The song has become a bit overplayed of late, in my opinion, but it works really well here.

:24 – One of my gripes with the original film was that, over time, the Sex and the City girls became too rich and successful and, as a result, much less relatable.  It seems like this trend will continue into the second movie.  Why does Carrie need two door men?  Isn’t one enough, Mrs. Big?

:33 – Here, it looks as though Charlotte has started her own baking business from her home, which, undoubtedly, will be instantly successful and make her into the next Martha Stewart / Rachael Ray.  I doubt any of these women have ever heard the term recession, much less experienced one. 

:35 – It appears as though the girls are attending a ritzy New Year’s Eve party in this scene.  I can tell because Gidget the Humping Dog (one of the best parts of the first movie, in my opinion) is wearing one of those goofy silver top hats that are acceptable and fashionable precisely once a year, during the hours of 8pm to 12:01 am, and then must be taken off . . . FAST!

:43 – So glad Carrie got to keep her obnoxiously-sized clothing closet from the first film, which is probably bigger than my entire apartment.  (Think I am bitter?  YES I AM!)

:51 – This looks like another fancy wedding.  I wonder who’s getting married this time . . .

:53 – Woo hoo!  Samantha Jones is SINGLE AGAIN, and ready to mingle with this hot bartender guy!  Does this mean more raunchy sex scenes?  Here’s hoping . . .

:57 – Fashion Police Alert!  Is it just me, or does Carrie look like a very skinny Magic 8 Ball dressed in an eggplant – colored mumu?

1:02 – And . . . now we are at the airport.  Where are we going ladies?  (I’ve read rumors that Carrie & Co. travel to Morocco during the film.  I’m not sure if they are true.)

1:04 – Now the ladies are riding camels and trekking through the desert? WTF!!!  I am hoping this is some sort of bizarre dream sequence.  Because, if not, ladies and gentlemen, I think we have just jumped the shark! 

Sex and the City 2 hits theaters May 28, 2010.  Are YOU going to see it?