Damon Salvatore’s GIFT to YOU – Animated GIFs for Every Occasion!

Don’t say I never gave you anything!

A few months back, Dawson’s Creek’s James Van Der Beek took a running joke that fans of the show had about his Ugly Cry Face . . .

 . . . and turned it into comedic GOLD (not to mention, a major marketing opportunity)!  Sure, The Beek may never be hired to act in a movie where has character has to cry, ever again . . .

But, with all the cash he’s raking in from those Dawson’s Creek syndication rights . . . (and all the good karma he’s building up, by helping bloggers like me find The Perfect GIF, when we’re too lazy to actually express our feelings in actual WORDS), James “don’t need NO STINKIN'” CRYBABY MOVIE!  He’s set for LIFE!

(But, seriously, if you haven’t checked out JamesVanDerMemes yet, do it NOW.  It truly is a Blogger’s Best Friend!)

OK . . . OK . . . I know what you are thinking.  You are probably saying to yourself right now, “I clicked on this post, because I thought I was going to get to read about DAMON SALVATORE!  So, what’s with all this James Van Der CRAP?”

Patience, my Fangbanging Friend!  All will become clear, in just a moment . . .

You see, this morning, I was reading an awesome, Damon Salvatore centric blog post, written by my fabulous pal from Down Under, Cherie, when I came upon one of my favorite Damon Salvatore GIFs . . .

THIS got me to thinking about ALL the fantastic Damon Salvatore GIFS I’ve managed to collect, since I started recapping The Vampire Diaries, about a year ago.  And thinking about THAT, got me to thinking about how Ian Somerhalder (who plays Damon on the show, DUH!) could probably learn a thing or two from Mr. Van Der Beek, about how to convert his natural GIF-making ability into Cold Hard Cash . . .

(Cash that can be used to benefit the Ian Somerhalder Foundation, perhaps?)

So, without further adieu, TV Recappers Anonymous proudly presents: Damon Salvatore Memes, a series of Damon-y GIFS that will be sure to satisfy all of your sexual emotional and blogging needs . . .

Happy GIF-ing!

Greetings from Damon Salvatore

Often times, when you are blogging, there are instances where you want to offer up a little “Howdy” to your loyal readers.  After all, sharing your thoughts with like-minded folks is what blogging is all about, right?  Fortunately, we have Damon Salvatore to help you do just that . .  .

Now, there are many ways to say “hello” to your friends.  You can wave . . .

You can give them the oh so cool, “Nod and Point” . . .

Or, for those “close” friends, you can blow them a kiss . . .

Not bad, right?  But saying hello to your blogging buddies, is just the tip of the iceberg.  Damon can help you out with so much MORE!

Damon Salvatore Helps You Get Laid . ..

Source

Flirting through blogs and e-mails can be a tricky business.  Since the person you are trying to put the moves on can’t actually SEE you, there’s a good chance some of the subtleties of your language might get lost in translation.  When this happens, the best case scenario is that your overtures of affection are misunderstood or ignored.  Worst case scenario?  You end up looking like a TOTAL Creepy Perv. 

Thankfully, with the help of Damon Salvatore, flirting is easy . . .

After all, no self-respecting love interest would be able to resist the Eye Thing . . .

. . . or the Compelling Stare . . .

Want to tell your crush how dreamy they look?  Katherine and Damon can do it for you!

Source

Perhaps, you want your crush to CALL you, so that you can continue your flirtation over the phone . . .

Source

Or, maybe, you want to give your lover an electronic kiss on the cheek . . .

Not at the Cheek Kissing stage of your relationship, yet?  Try a chaste Forehead Kiss . . .

Awww, you know what?  Screw chastity!  Go in for the Tongue Kiss!  You only live once, right?  (Or, if you happen to be a vampire, you only live, FOREVER!)

Source

But, perhaps, this isn’t just your crush.  Maybe, it’s your significant other . . . someone you’ve already kissed, many times.  Perhaps, you’ve recently come to the realization that you don’t want to kiss anyone else, ever again.  This person is the one who’s lips you want to remain locked with, for the rest of your life.  (Well, except for when you are eating . . .).

You LOVE this person!  And what better way to tell someone you love them then with a not-particularly-large pixelated computer image!

Source

Who am I kidding?  This portion of the post isn’t about LOVE?  It’s about SEX, right?   So, here are some “Let’s Have Sex” GIFs for you, courtesy of Damon Salvatore.  (Some of them are pretty literal.   For others, you will have to use your imagination.)

And, my personal favorite . . .

Source

Phew, that got me all hot and bothered!  Please excuse me, while I take another shower . . .

OK . . . I’m back . . .

You know, love isn’t all Hearts and Roses.  It can be pretty painful too.  Fortunately, Damon is here to help you express your Relationship Angst . . .

Damon Salvatore Can Help You Heal a Broken Heart . . .

Have you just been rejected?

Do you feel like your heart has just been ripped out of your chest?

Damon Salvatore feels your pain!  And he can help you express it, too!  Whether your sadness is of the quiet, brooding and soulful variety . . .

 . . . or you consider yourself more a student of the “Let It All Out” School of Emotional Outbursts . . .

Damon has just the GIF for you!

Worry not, with Damon feeling your miserable emotions FOR YOU, you’ll be dancing in NO TIME!

And if not . . . well . . . getting totally and completely wasted, and numbing your mind with booze, is always an option!

Damon Can Help You Cyber Bully  (Not that I advocate cyber bullying, because I don’t, Parent Teacher Council! ;))

You know that moment when a despised television character, who you THOUGHT was gone for good, suddenly makes a re-appearance on your favorite show?

And they start mucking things up for ALL your favorite characters and Ships?

Well, sometimes, that happens in REAL life too! 

Below are some healthy ways to vent your frustration, which, hopefully, will prevent you from going into a rage and ending up in jail.  Might I suggest some idle threats . . .

Source

How about getting some vicarious thrills, by watching Damon hurt someone on television, and PRETENDING that it’s YOU doing the hurting, with the Person You Hate as the unsuspecting victim. . .

And, hey, if anyone ever accuses you of Cyber Bullying, because you just so happened to use a few of these images to . . . get your message across?  My recommendation?  LIE!

Here are some other Damon Salvatore GIFs that you may find helpful in your blogging future . . .

The Eye Roll . . .

The Expression of Awesomeness

The Expression of Thoughtfulness / Quiet Contemplation of Deep Issues

Source

The Strong Desire for a Certain Someone to Shut the Hell UP!

Hunger

And finally . . .

The Desire to See Ian Somerhalder Naked, and Fresh out of The Shower

Three times in one post!  I’m pretty sure this is a record for me!

There you have it, my fellow Fangbangers, a comprehensive series of Damon Salvatore GIFs that are sure to meet all of your blogging and fangirling needs. 

Source

So, what’s YOUR favorite Damon GIF?

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

 

Where the Falls Meets the Creek: Damon and Elena versus Pacey and Joey

Through these long winter hiatus months, since I can’t watch TV, I tend to spend A LOT of time talking about it.  Recently, one television-related conversation, in particular, has been cropping up among my friends on a fairly regular basis.  Not surprisingly, the conversation involves my two FAVORITE shows of all time: The Vampire Diaries and Dawson’s Creek, and my two FAVORITE TV Couples of all time, Damon and Elena and Pacey and Joey.  Coincidentally, both of these aforementioned shows, and ALL FOUR of the aforementioned characters, were produced and penned by THIS GUY . . .

Basically, what my pals and I have been discussing ad nauseum of late, are the many ways in which Damon’s and Elena’s relationship in The Vampire Diaries seems to be following the same trajectory as Pacey’s and Joey’s relationship followed in Dawson’s Creek.  (Truth be told, we are all kind of hoping this means that both stories will have the SAME conclusion.  *hint, hint, wink, wink*)

 And so, to commemorate the many conversations that have characterized my TV-less month,  I’ve decided to put all of our collective thoughts on this topic down on paper screen.  But before I do so, special thanks must be paid to three very special folks, in particular, who helped make this post happen. (So, if you absolutely hate it . . . BLAME THEM! ;)).  A big hug goes out to the Always Brilliant Amy, who once wrote a post similar to this, and who never fails to catch my random Dawson’s references, whenever they pop up in daily conversation (which is quite often); the Always Awesome Cherie who analyzes TV couples like nobody’s business; and Madeleine, who’s insightful comment to one of my posts caused me to go on a tirade that ended up being the genesis for the post you are reading now.

Howdy, Fellow Fangirls!

So, without further adieu, I bring to you . . . “Where the Falls Meets the Creek” . . .

Elena and Joey – Because Everyone Loves a Spunky Orphan!

Both Elena and Joey grew up in small towns that were rich in tradition, and characterized by WAY TOO MANY community gatherings.  At relatively early ages, both girls were orphaned, due to tragic circumstances (OK . . . that was kind of redundant.  Extra points to anyone who can come up with a not “tragic circumstance” that results in someone becoming an orphan).  As a result of said orphan status, both Elena and Joey were raised (at least through their teenage years) by not particularly maternal (useless) 20-something female family members, who, though “nice people,” would much rather be boinking their current Flavor of the Month Boyfriend than raising a teenage girl . . .

As a result of said parentage (or lack thereof), both Elena and Joey became mature beyond their years, highly self-sufficient, spunky, and a bit moody.  Speaking of said moodiness, neither girl is averse to sporting a Poopy PussFace, when things aren’t going her way . . .

 

Damon and Pacey – Because Black Sheeps have never been so SEXY (or so much fun)!

Both Damon and Pacey are “Bad Boys” in their own right.  Though admittedly, Damon’s murderous bloodsucking ways FAR edge out, Pacey’s “bad grades and back talking” in the naughty department. 

Pacey . . . being a “Bad Ass”

Damon and Pacey were both Black Sheep in their respective families.  Their parents were constantly comparing them to their fairer haired, more well-behaved counterparts.  For Damon, that meant being expected to measure up to his brother, Stefan . . .

For Pacey, it was his over-achieving best friend, Dawson . . .

Rather than brood and sulk about these unfair comparisons, Damon and Pacey combatted them with snarkiness, sarcasm, charm, good senses of humor, and matching general “Ughhhh .  . . who cares?” attitudes toward life.

The Love Triangles

When both The Vampire Diaries and Dawson’s Creek first began, both Damon and Pacey had to take a romantic “backseat” to the fair-haired boys to which they were always compared, when it came to the female objects of their respective desires.  Elena started dating Stefan, around the second episode of The Vampire Diaries . . .

 . . . and though Joey and Dawson didn’t actually become a “couple” until the Season 1 Finale of Dawson’s Creek, it was clear, throughout most of the early episodes, that these two had it bad for one another . . .

 

From Frenemies to Friends (with some SERIOUS SEXUAL TENSION en route)

Though the Blonde Boys had Elena’s and Joey’s hearts, early on in their respective series, the Brooding Brunettes seemed to take up a LOT OF THEIR sexual energy.  Elena and Joey each expressed some pretty passionate feelings of anger toward Damon and Pacey, during the first few episodes of their shows.  As for Damon and Pacey  . . . well . . . they were just acting like HORN DOGS, plain and simple!  And yet, it’s possible that our Bad Boys suspected even then, that their time for romance was just around the corner.  After all, as Vampire Katherine says, “Hate . . . That sounds like the beginning of a love story.  Not the end of one.”

Eventually, Our Boys’ persistence paid off, and they both became friends with their Dreamgirls . . .

 

They’re Bringing Sexy Back

Now, friendships are great and all, but they don’t keep you warm at night.  Our Boys have NEEDS!  So, while Damon and Pacey waited for Elena and Joey to come to their senses, they engaged in sexy times with others.  First, they each hopped into bed with an “Older” Woman.  For Pacey, it was his English Teacher Miss Jacobs.  For Damon, it was his former fling, that OLD AS HECK Vampire, Katherine, who, you guessed it, bore a startling resemblance to Elena . . .

But when those sexual relationships fizzled, it was time to move on to the “Friends with Benefits.”

Both Damon and Pacey were “lucky” enough to find female friends with punky haircuts, who were willing to offer them No Frills Sex, while they both waited for the girls they REALLY wanted.  For Damon it was the ALSO OLD AS HECK, Vampire Rose, for Pacey, it was gal pal, Jen Lindley . . .

I Get By With a Little Dancing Help from my Hot Friends . . .

Though they may have been “getting jiggy” with other girls, Elena and Joey were never far from Damon’s and Pacey’s minds.  And when both females needed a dancing partner in a pinch, each male suitor was right there, and waiting to boogy.  For Joey, she needed Pacey’s dancing feet to help her land a ballroom dancing-related college scholarship.  And though they both had two left feet, the chemistry between the pair on the dance floor, was simply undeniable . . .

As for Damon, he stepped in as Elena’s dance partner, during the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, while Stefan was off on a bloodaholic rampage . . .

Cue the Sexy Mating Dance . . . 

On the dance floor, a technically flawless Damon and Elena circled one another, like a pair of very dignified wild animals in heat.  And the highly sexualized way in which they looked at one another, was enough to melt your TV screen . . .

Given the pair’s mad dancing skills, it’s really a wonder Elena didn’t actually win the Miss Mystic Falls competition.  Then again, losing the competition put Elena in good company.  After all, a certain Miss Josephine Potter ALSO garnered the second place spot in HER race for the Miss Capeside crown . . .

 

Don’t MESS with the GIRLFRIEND of a Brooding Bad Boy!

When Damon and Pacey weren’t sweeping Elena and Joey off their respective feet, they were kicking the crap out of others, to defend their honor.  When some D-bag bully had the NERVE to deface Joey’s high school mural, Pacey THREW HIM OVER A CAR!

(This video may look long.  But, fortunately, the fight scene is right at the beginning.  So, enjoy!)

As for Damon, he was even willing to beat up a GIRL to defend Elena’s honor!  It’s just kind of strange that the GIRL ended up being Elena’s biological mother, and someone with whom he used to do the horizontal mambo . . .

“I love you so much, even the drool on your pillow is sexy!”

Beating the crap out of people to defend your lover’s honor can be tiring.  But do Damon and Pacey just get under their covers, and go to sleep when the fighting’s all over?  HECK NO!  Instead, they simply sit back, relax, and let Elena and Joey do all the sleeping for them . . .

Bad Boys Drink Their Feelings . . .

Despite all the sleep-watching, ass-whooping, and screwing Damon and Pacey do, in hopes of forgetting their respective heartaches, sometimes the pain of unrequited love STILL gets to be too much.  And when that happens, Damon and Pacey do what ANY self-respecting Bad Boy would do, in such a situation:  They get sh*t-faced, and self-destructively pour their hearts out to the women they love . . .

(Normally, I’d include Damon’s drunken confessional here too.  However, as you’ll see in a bit, Damon’s drunk speech to Elena is SO INTENSE that it belongs in another category entirely . . .)

“If at first you don’t succeed, Face Rape again  . . .”

Damon and Pacey are both highly romantic creatures, who KNOW unequivocally, when they are in love.  For romantic sexual beings like these, it’s incredibly hard to cope, when the object of your affection OBVIOUSLY feels the same way you do, but is blind to her feelings of love, due to circumstances beyond your control.  When such situations occur, Brooding Bad Boys like Damon and Pacey take the bull by the horns, and confront the women they love, with a strong and forceful kiss on the lips, thereby FORCING the females to take stock in their own feelings.  And yet, there’s a Right and a Wrong way to do such things. 

Hint:  Drunk and Self-Destructive Damon (see description above) did it the WRONG WAY . . .

But my Main Man Pacey . . . well . . . he’s got Sexy Face Rape down to science!

You GO BOY!

True Love Requires Patience and Self-Sacrifice

Now sober, a contemplative Damon decides to once again, let Elena know how he feels about her.  However, in contrast to the selfish Take-No-Prisoners Face Rape we witnessed earlier, this time, Damon’s second declaration is all about patience and self-sacrifice.  Wrongly Convinced that Elena is better off with Stefan, Damon speaks to Elena in a manner that is completely and heartbreakingly selfless.  After all, not only does our lovestruck vampire tell Elena that, even though he loves her, he shouldn’t be with her, for her own good, he also MAKES HER FORGET what he has said, so that she is not faced with making a choice that he feels may ultimately put her in danger . . .

Pacey’s second declaration of love for Joey is also more gentle than his first, and similarly tinged with self-sacrifice.  Rather than going in for a second Face Rape, Pacey actually gives Joey ten seconds to stop the kiss, if she decides that she does not return his affections (well . . . not really . . . but at least he tried).

“I have to protect her.  No matter what the cost”

Lest we forget how all this got started, I call your attention to Season 3, Episode 1 of Dawson’s Creek, during which Dawson, who has just rebuffed Joey’s sexual advances for some ridiculously moronic reason that I don’t recall, asks Pacey to “look out for her”  on his behalf.  Pacey, being the loyal friend that he is and not nearly as big of a Mental Midget as Dawson “reluctantly” agrees to the request . . .

Later, in that same episode, Pacey and Joey share an exchange that we now know marked the beginning of their official courtship . . .

By the way, you know who else, aside from me, is a HUGE Dawson’s Creek fan?  Vampire Katherine.

This is probably why warning bells went off in HER head for Stefan, when he made THIS bonehead (but brilliant, as far as Delena fans are concerned) move at the end of Season 2, Episode 11 of The Vampire Diaries . . .

If Dawson’s Creek is any indication, Delena fans will one day look back at Stefan’s request as the genesis for more or THIS . . .

and this . . .

 . . . which will, hopefully, eventually lead to some of THIS . . .

 . . . and THIS . . .

 . . . and EVENTUALLY THIS . . .

(Only THIS time, Elena will be on the bottom, NOT Katherine ;))

Sorry Boys!  One thing we’ve all learned about history, is that it’s doomed to repeat itself . . . And one thing we’ve learned about True Love . . .

 . . . is that it conquers all!

Well, that’s all I’ve got.  See you on the flipside, my fellow Delena and PJ fans!

[www.juliekushner.com]

OMFG? Not so much . . . – The Top Ten “Been There, Seen That” Teen Television Cliches (Part 2 of 2)

A couple of days ago, I came up with a list of the top ten plotline cliches featured in teen-oriented television dramas.  In the first installment of this blog entry, I posted the first five of these cliches.  That list included: (1) the Pregnancy Plotline; (2) the Death of a Peripheral Character Plotline; (3) the Student / Teacher Relationship Plotline; (4) the Cheating on a Test  / Plagiarism Plotline; and, finally, (5) the “Bad Influence” Plotline.

This installment will focus on the following popular Teen Television Cliches: (1) the Love Triangle; (2) the Summer in Europe; (3) the Love / Hate Relationship; (4) the School Ski Trip; and, of course (5) the Prom.  So, without further adieu, what do you say we take off our creative thinking caps, embrace conformity, and get started?

1) “Can’t we all just . . . have a threesome, instead?” – The Love Triangle Plotline

The Storyline:  Girl meets boy.  Boy is attractive. 

Boy is also nice and sweet, albeit a tad boring (and, sometimes, a bit of a whiny b*tch). 

Or, conversely, Boy is total douche; 

but Girl’s parents love him;

He looks “good on paper.”

and Boy is sure to make Girl a very wealthy, but very bored, housewife, some time in the not-so-distant future, if she plays her cards right.

But then . . . Other Boy magically appears.

Unlike the original Boy, Other Boy is a little dangerous . . .

Maybe he’s from the wrong side of the proverbial “tracks” . . .

Or, perhaps he has a reputation for being a bit of male slut . . .

 . . . or a criminal.

 Or maybe he has a bit of a mean streak, so Girl isn’t sure she can really trust him.

But there is just something about the way Other Boy makes Girl feel . . .

She smiles and laughs more when she’s around him. 

(Click the internal link to watch.)

He makes her more fun!

And Other Boy continues to believe in Girl, and support her, long after everyone else has seemingly abandoned her (including the original Boy).

So, what’s a Girl to do, when she wants them both?

Who does she choose?  Well, that depends on the season . . . the Television Season, that is . . .

Examples: Joey, Pacey, and Dawson (Dawson’s Creek); Veronica, Logan, and Duncan (Veronica Mars); Marissa, Ryan, and Luke (The O.C.); Elena, Damon, and Stefan (The Vampire Diaries); Rory, Jesse, and Dean (Gilmore Girls); Blair, Chuck, and Nate (Gossip Girl); Peyton, Lucas, and Nate (One Tree Hill); Emma, Sean, and Peter (Degrassi: The Next Generation); Felicity, Ben, and Noel (Felicity); Casey, Cappie, and Evan (Greek); Lyla, Tim, and Jason (Friday Night Lights)

Why it’s a cliche?  Three words (One of them is a contraction).  Because . . . It’s . . . AWESOME!

When it comes to successful teen drama plotlines, The Love Triangle, is a surefire WIN!  After all, what girl wouldn’t want to have two totally hot guys, who are complete opposites of one another fighting over her!  Aside from allowing female fans to vicariously fulfill their deepest fantasies, Love Triangles provide the added benefit of making Teen Television watching a TEAM SPORT!  Boys have football and basketball.  Girls have  THIS . . .

Yes, boys and girls, choosing sides in a Love Triangle War is SERIOUS business!  (Girls have been shot over WAY less!)  Don’t believe me?  Check out the sheer intensity of THESE fan-fueled debates  . . .

About Blair, Chuck and Nate. 

About Elena, Damon, and Stefan

About Felicity, Ben, and Noel . . .

(The above video debate between these two twenty-somethings kind of goes off the rails, after the first five minutes.  But I love their obvious enthusiasm for a show that’s been off the air now for nearly a decade!  I also love their accents . . . and the very impressive “Portrait of Ben” one of them created.  Scott Speedman, himself, would be proud!)

2) “Go to Europe . . . because no one could possibly ‘find themselves’ in the States!”  – The Summer in Europe Plotline

“When in France, do as the French do . . . French kiss!”

(Here we go again!  Internal link clicking time!)

The Storyline: It’s close to the end of the Season.  Our female protagonist’s life is a mess!  It’s just jam packed with unresolved love triangles, family issues, and massive blowout fights with former friends.  And what better way is there to deal with all of your problems, than to run away from them?  So, our female protagonist jaunts off to Europe (usually Paris), leaving pining boys and cliffhangers in her wake . . .

 Once there, our female protagonist sees the sights . . .

and miraculously FINDS HERSELF!  When she comes back, she’s a COMPLETELY different person, than when she left.  Who knows?  She might even have a new completely random, doesn’t belong on the show at all boyfriend!

Examples: Serena and Blair (Gossip Girl); Joey Potter (Dawson’s Creek); Brenda and Donna (90210); Holly (What I Like About You)

Why it’s a Cliche?  The main character’s temporary departure from his or her home base is a great way to bring about a Teen Television Drama’s summer hiatus.  If us fans are forced to spend an ENTIRE summer away from our beloved gang of characters, at least we can sleep better knowing that they aren’t hanging out with one another EITHER!  Plus, filming a scene or two “across the pond” makes for a great excuse for the show’s writers to say to their producer, “I’d like an all expense paid European vacation, please.  What!  It’s for THE SHOW!”

A summer in another country is also a pretty good excuse to suddenly change the entire personality and demeanor of a character, without any rational explanation whatsoever .  . .

“I got my new girlfriend and a frontal lobe lobotomy in Prague.  Doesn’t everybody?

3) “He Loves Me  . . . He Hates My Guts . . . He Loves Me . . .” – The Love/ Hate Relationship Plotline

The Storyline: He’s a playboy, and a real ladies man.  But he comes across as mean, and kind of shallow.  She’s a Type A personality, who comes across as cold and a bit uptight. 

They butt heads from the moment they first appear on screen together.  They fight, and call eachother names.  They insult one another, and play nasty tricks on eachother. 

But there is a passion boiling beneath the surface, that both he and she are trying desperately to deny. 

At the time, he and she are both involved with other people.  Their significant others notice the sexual tension laced beneath their supposed hatred, and try in vain to ignore it.  But the tension only grows.  Jealous and longing looks become prevalent.  Lingering touches, and moments of out-of-character “niceness,” between the two make each member of the pair begin to question their feelings. 

The guy in this scenario typically recognizes his feelings for her first. 

(You know the drill . . .)

But he usually keeps this to himself, out of fear of being ridiculed by the new object of his desires.  Then the two are placed in a dramatic situation.  Suddenly their mutual passion for one another overtakes them.  And they both give in to their desires.

Examples: Joey and Pacey (Dawson’s Creek); Buffy and Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer); Veronica and Logan (Veronica Mars); Seth and Summer (The O.C. – sort of . . . well . . . she hated him); Elena and Damon (The Vampire Diaries); Blair and Chuck (Gossip Girl)

Why it’s a Cliche?  You know how everyone always talks about how hot Makeup Sex is?  A couple fights, and then they make up.  All that angst and sexual energy, built up from all that red-faced arguing, is just kindling for the inevitable Orgasmic Fire of “Getting Back Together.”  And THAT’S from a fight that might last a day!  You can just imagine how hot Makeup Sex would be if the couple fought nonstop for TWO SEASONS!

4) “When the temperatures get COLD, the action gets HOT!” – The Ski Trip Plotline

The Storyline:  I’m going to be honest, this one was less of a “storyline” and more of a “plot convention.”  (Hey!  YOU try to come up with ten of these things . . . It’s not as easy as it looks.)  But did you ever notice how virtually EVERY teen drama features at least one ski trip?  BIG THINGS always happen on ski trips too!  People get drunk, get laid, get raped, or cheat on their significant other!   And someone ALWAYS hurts their foot, and conveniently can’t ski!

Examples:

Dawson’s Creek:

Jenn hurts her foot, gets wasted, and almost screws Gay Jack. 

Pacey and Joey do it for the first time!

Boy Meets World:

Cory hurts his foot too!  And makes out with Linda Cardellini!

Other fabulous shows featuring wild and crazy teen ski trips include Degrassi: Next Generation (Darcy gets date raped), and What I Like About You (Holly comes to terms with her feelings for Vince).

Precisely NONE of these characters were ever shown ACTUALLY skiing . . .

Why it’s a Cliche?  There’s just something about being away from home and your parents . . . about sleeping in a log cabin, right next to the fire.  You relax.  You let your guard down.  You get a little slutty and make bad choices.  (Except in the case of Pacey and Joey . . . that choice was GOOD!)  Plus, it’s WAY cheaper to film on location in some fake ski lodge than say . . . taking your entire cast and crew to Europe.

5) “Question:  What happened at Prom?  Answer: EVERYTHING!” – The Prom Plotline

The Storyline: It’s the event of the WHOLE season!  The entire cast will be in attendance!  But not everybody is going with the person they WANT to be going with. 

 A couple will break up.  A couple will get back together. 

Someone will win prom queen. 

 

Someone’s heart will be broken. 

A couple will finally do it. 

Another couple will ALMOST do it, but decide to wait . . . Oh, and someone will get wasted and make an ass of herself.

Examples: Dawson’s Creek, The O.C., 90210, Veronica Mars, Gossip Girl

Why it’s a Cliche?  For every high school girl, the Prom is the culminating social event of her entire pre-college academic career.  Even the most jaded of high school students (and I, myself, was already pretty jaded by that time) can’t help but dream of having the perfect dress, the perfect limo, the perfect Prom date, and the perfect slow dance.  For most of us, with all that build up and preparation, Prom itself ends up being pretty anti-climactic.  (The Post Prom Beach Trip, on the other hand . . . now, THAT ROCKED!).  But if we CAN’T have the perfect Prom, at least we can get the joy of seeing our television friends experience it for us.

So, there you have it – Ten Trashtastic Teen Television Cliches for your viewing pleasure!  Doesn’t it all make you feel OLD?

 

OMFG? Not so much . . . – The Top Ten “Been There, Seen That” Teen Television Cliches (Part 1 of 2)

It is probably no secret to anyone who has ever stopped by this blog before (or even just examined the above “collage”), that I am a sucker for Trash-tastic Teen Television.  I have been a fan of these types of shows since the age of eight.  That was when I first decided that I desperately wanted to be a teen.  And I have no doubt that I will remain a fan, long after I have cruised past “old age,” and am forced to squint through my coke bottle glasses, and smile through my dentures, at the sight of some pipsqueaks (who bear a suspicious resemblance to my grandkids) attending prom on my small screen.

“That is one hot threesome.  Oh, when I think back to my first threesome . . . ah memories!”

Having been around the “teenage television” block quite a bit since my eighth birthday, I have come to notice a few patterns among my favorite teen dramas.  Over the years, I have watched in wonder, as certain storylines traveled across decades,  time zones, and networks, just to reach my lowly television set, over and over (and over and over) again . . .  So I’ve decided to investigate these storylines, in hopes of FINALLY figuring out what makes them so “gosh darn special!”

1) “Hit me with a baby, one more time!” – The Pregnancy Scare and/or Actual Pregnancy Plotline

The Storyline: Our teen female protagonist has sex . . . usually for the first time.  Her partner is either a long, LONG time boyfriend, with whom she has been discussing doing the deed for the ENTIRE season . . .

 Or, conversely, he is a one night-stand, who she (a) barely knows; or (b) seemingly despises.  There is never any in between. 

In the very next scene, our protagonist learns that she has missed her period.  She is FLIPPING THE F&CK OUT!

She keeps her discovery a secret from everyone, except for her best friend.  And the best friend is inevitably the one who convinces the protagonist to take the pregnancy test.

Regardless of the pregnancy test’s ultimate result, inevitably there comes a time when our protagonist has to have “The Discussion” with “The Maybe Baby Daddy.” 

 Sometimes, he takes it well . .  . usually, he doesn’t . . . at least, not at first.

Now, if the protagonist ends up not being pregnant . . . well then . . . THAT’S IT!  Our protagonist is RELIEVED!  She feels brand NEW!  She’s CHANGED!

She will pretend this whole little sweeps week episode never happened (or, in the case of Manny Santos, and Degrassi, the U.S. will pretend this whole episode never happened . . . by NOT AIRING IT, until about 3 years after it was actually filmed).  However, if our protagonist IS pregnant . . . we get stuck with a baby storyline for ALL ETERNITY (or at least it will seem that way  . . .)!

Examples: Brenda on 90210 (not actually pregnant); Andrea on 90210 (actually pregnant / had baby / raised baby); Summer on The O.C. (not actually pregnant); Manny on Degrassi: The Next Generation (actually pregnant / had abortion); Liberty on Degrassi: The Next Generation (pregnant / had baby / gave baby up for adoption); Emma on Degrassi: The Next Generation (not actually pregnant / feeling left out because EVERYONE else on her show actually was); Blair on Gossip Girl (not actually pregnant);  Georgina on Gossip Girl (To Be Determined?); Amy on Secret Life of the American Teenager (actually pregnant / had baby / is raising baby); Quinn on Glee (actually pregnant / had baby / gave baby up for adoption).

Why it’s a cliche?

“Hey there, boys and girls!  I’ve got a message for you!  Premarital sex is BAAAAAAAAD!”

Teen television programs tend to be written by adults.  And even the most hip and forward thinking adults, don’t like to think about their 15-year old kids f*c*ing eachother’s brains out like bunny rabbits on acid. 

So they ever so subtly try to scare the crap out of their kids, by showing them how having sex once can RUIN THEIR LIVES FOREVER!  It doesn’t really work . . .

This storyline is SO overdone that precisely NO ONE is shocked or dismayed by the prospect of a female protagonist  . . . missing her period.  Hey writers, want to REALLY scare your kids celibate?  Give your television characters crabs. 

That will permanently glue your teen’s legs shut for sure!

2) “OH NO!  You killed .  . . what’s his name again?” – The Death of the Peripheral Character Plotline

 

The Storyline:  There is this recurring character on your favorite show that has becoming increasingly annoying, of late. 

You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you just think the character really sucks. 

And you can’t wait for him or her to leave your television screen ALONE! 

You spend WAY too much time bashing this minor character on online message boards, and in snarky recaps of the show.  In those messages, you may or may not beg the show’s writers for said character’s untimely demise. 

Then the character actually DIES. 

And you’re secretly happy that you got what you wanted. 

But NOW you’re convinced you are very sh*tty person.  Because, REALLY, what kind of nice, normal person is HAPPY when someone dies, real or fake?  Even though very few of the characters on your show seemed to like this character any more than you did, while he was alive, they all make a big show of mourning and /or having a funeral for him or her.  

Your favorite character will inevitably give the eulogy for this character.  And it will be all warm, and fuzzy, and heartfelt . . . and, of course, totally depressing. 

And YOU will surprise yourself by crying like a baby when you watch it (probably out of guilt for openly hating the character so much . . . or . . .  maybe the scene just reminds you of a dead relative).  After the episode airs, the show’s entire cast will COMPLETELY forget that this dead character ever existed . . .

Examples: Scott on 90210, Abby on Dawson’s Creek; Rick on Degrassi: The Next Generation, Johnny on The O.C., that dude Serena supposedly “killed” on Gossip Girl, Percy and Reed on Grey’s Anatomy (not technically a teen show, but still . . .), Vicki on The Vampire Diaries

Why it’s a cliche?  The “Very Special” Dead Person episode of any teen show is sure to be a ratings grabber, no matter how unlikeable the soon-to-be dead character was before he met his demise.  Plus, killing any character on their show (even if it’s just a one-episode guest star) allows producers to run that oh-so-original . . . “SOMEBODY WILL DIE!” promo the week before their episode airs, and you know how ALL producers LOVE that promo! 

3) “Hot for Teacher!” – The Inappropriate Student / Teacher Relationship Plotline

The Storyline:  The protagonist has a crush on his or her very attractive (yet obviously lonely, and very desperate), teacher. 

The teacher makes a lame ass attempt to rebuff the protagonists affections, but fails miserably. 

Soon the student and the teacher are doing the horizontal mambo together in secret. 

Someone always finds out.  Someone always exposes them for the sluts they both are. 

It always ends badly . . .

Examples: Pacey and Miss Jacobs on Dawson’s Creek, Paige and Mr. O on Degrassi: The Next Generation, Dan and Miss Carr on Gossip Girl, Aria and Mr. Fitz on Pretty Little Liars

Why it’s a cliche?  Forbidden love is HOT!  And cougars are all the rage!  Plus, who HASN’T had a crush on one of their teachers and indulged in a naughty fantasy, or two (or twenty) involving same? 

 Mine was my freshman history teacher in high school.  He was pretty young, compared to most of my teachers at that time . . . probably in his mid-to-late twenties . . . and single.  Actually, he kind of looked like this . . .

 . . . only he was a wee bit older . . . and he generally wore shirts (unfortunately).  Coincidentally, Mr. Devlin, if your reading this . . . 😉

4) “Cheaters never win, and winners never . . . whatever.” – The Cheating on a Test / Plagiarism Plotline

Storyline: The protagonist REALLY needs to pass a particular test or ace a certain paper.  He or she is under a lot of external pressure to do so. 

 But something happens, so that he or she doesn’t have time to do the appropriate amount of studying and /or research.  He or she is tempted, upon receiving answers to the test or a pre-written paper, to . . . CHEAT!

The protagonist struggles with whether or not to enter into the dark evil world of “school crime,” but ultimately does. 

Because the character cheated, he or she does so well on the test or paper that his teacher inevitably wants to enter him or her in some national competition of some sort related to the aforementioned paper or test.  Smothered by guilt, the character eventually comes clean.  He or she then gets in trouble . . . 

But not in nearly as much trouble as the character would, if caught, in . . . say . . . the REAL WORLD . . .

“It can’t possibly be worse than when I got that awful haircut . . .”

Examples: Felicity on Felicity, Andie on Dawson’s Creek, Rusty on Greek, Lindsay and Daniel on Freaks and Geeks, Spencer on Pretty Little Liars

Why it’s a cliche?  One word:  schadenfreude.  You see, here’s the thing . . . every teen show has that one uptight overachieving character, who always gets A’s, is super judgmental of all of her “less brilliant” friends, and never seems to do anything wrong.  Admit it!  It’s kind of fun to see tight asses like that crack under the pressure . . .

Make that VERY fun!

5) “I’m gonna do real bad things to you .  . . and make you DO real bad things!”  – The “Bad Influence” Plotline

The Storyline: Our protagonist is going through kind of a “rough patch” in his or her life.  He or she is therefore looking to let loose, and have some sort of emotional and/or physical release.  In walks a character who is fun, adventurous, and more than a little dangerous. 

Our protagonist starts hanging out with the “dangerous” character a lot. 

(Click the internal link to watch!)

Before you know it, he or she is behaving just like the “dangerous” character, and getting into all sorts of trouble as a result.   

 The protagonists other friends are jealous of all the fun their typically boring protagonist is now having.  But they are also worried.  Inevitably, the moment comes when protagonist is about to get into a cr*p load of trouble with the “dangerous” character. 

 The friends stage an intervention of sorts. 

It works!

 The dangerous character rides away on the evil broomstick by which it came.  All is, once again, right (and boring) with the world . . .

Examples: Abby influencing Jen on Dawson’s Creek, Georgina influencing Serena on Gossip Girl, Damon influencing Caroline on The Vampire Diaries, “The Freaks” influencing Lindsay on Freaks and Geeks, that character Paul Wesley played on Everwood influencing Hannah on Everwood, that character Paul Wesley played on The O.C. influencing Ryan and Seth on The O.C.

Why it’s a cliche?  Everybody’s got a dark side.  Secretly, we all want to be a little “bad” sometimes.  The good news is that we can do it safely and vicariously, by watching our favorite “good” television characters “go bad,” albeit temporarily.  They have fun while doing it . . . and so do we, at least until their lame friends bring them back to earth.

Well, that’s all the teen television cliches I have for tonight.  But please tune in tomorrow, when I tackle love triangles, love-hate relationships, prom, the ever enlightening “trip to Europe,” and, of course, the dreaded ski trip  .  . .

Ian Somerhalder – Ladies’ Man, Man’s Man, Shirtless Man, Dancing Man (A YouTube Extravaganza!)

 

Here at TV Recappers Anonymous, we love ALL of our sexy television and movie men.  But, admittedly, some of them get more love than others.  Lately, Ian Somerhalder has been getting the MOST love of them all!  Right now, you probably know him best as Damon Salvatore from The Vampire Diaries. 

On that show, he is the “big bad,” quite possibly sociopathic, definitely vampiric, 160 plus-year old, older brother to Paul Wesley’s Stefan Salvatore.

In his role as Damon Salvatore, Ian plays a man with a serious thirst for blood, a penchant for the ladies, and a soft spot for one Elena Gilbert.

Did I mention he owns a mansion, and enjoys dancing around it half naked?

  (Click the internal link below, to view the video)

Now while all of this is FABULOUS for us fans,  The Vampire Diaries only airs once a week.  In fact, there are only TWO more episodes in the season.  Very soon, Somerhalder fans will be faced with a summer-long draught of open-shirted, brow-furrowed, snarky commenting, fabulous dancing goodness.  After all, there are only SO MANY Damon Salvatore fan videos you can watch on YouTube!

This is where I come in . . . You see, believe it or not, before The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder was actually in OTHER STUFF!

Shocking, I know!  The purpose of this blog entry today, is to help guide YOU toward Ian Somerhalder YouTube Nirvana.  This way, once The Vampire Diaries is on hiatus (after you’ve broken the virtual “Play” button on your “Damon and Vicki Dancing Webclip,” and after you have watched every single Damon Salvatore fan video known to man), you have some other places to look, in order to satisfy your Somerhalder-sized cravings . . .

Young Americans (2000)

This short-lived WB series (pre-CW) about an all-boys boarding school wasn’t around that long.  In fact, the show (a spinoff of the popular teen drama Dawson’s Creek), only lasted about eight episodes.  And yet, in that brief amount of time, it managed to REALLY push the envelope with some surprisingly risque storylines.  Most notably (of course, otherwise why would I include it here?) was the plotline involving Ian Somerhalder’s character, Hamilton Fleming, the All-American son of the school’s dean.  In the pilot episode, he meets a “boy” named Jake Pratt.  The two quickly bond and become friends.

The problem?  Heretofore straight Hamilton soon finds himself attracted to Jake, who Hamilton thinks is gay (Jake tried to kiss him near the end of the first episode).  So, of course, Hamilton begins to wonder whether he is gay too. 

Hamilton may very well be gay.  But here’s the thing: Jake is a GIRL!  For reasons that I never quite understood (something about getting revenge against her absentee mother) “Jake” a.k.a. Jacqueline posed as a boy to attend the all-boy school.  In the below scene, which was highly reminiscent of the prom scene in that old 80’s flick, Just One of the Guys . . .

(This film is VERY dated.  But it’s a good Netflix rental, if you’re ever in the mood for a gender-bending good time . . .)

 . . . Jacqueline finally comes clean to Hamilton about her . . . um . . . sex.

This exchange actually occurs during the fourth episode of the show.  So I really haven’t spoiled all that much for you.  What’s nice is that, on YouTube, someone was kind enough to distill the entire series into ONLY the Jake and Hamilton parts from each episode, and post them online.   So you can see the couple’s ENTIRE story in under a half-hour’s time.  Somerhalder’s excellent acting skills and the “Jake” character’s androgeny makes these clips WAY more erotic than they should be .  . . It’s definitely worth a look-see, in my opinion.

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

This film, which was based on a very jaded and dark, but oddly insightful, novel about college life, written by Bret Easton Ellis (Less than Zero, American Psycho), featured a fairly impressive cast of hot up-and-coming early twenty-something actors, most notably: Dawson’s Creek‘s James van der Beek, playing a decidedly un-Dawson like role . . .

(Joey Potter would not approve.)

 . . . Jessica Biel . . .

 . . . and Kate Bosworth (who, coincidentally, also starred in Young Americans with Ian Somerhalder)

Here, Ian plays the bisexual and sexually frustrated Paul Denton, a man who seemingly has only two favorite pasttimes: sex and dancing.  Lucky for him (and us), he gets to do both throughout the movie .  . .

Unfortunately, for my purposes at least, the creators of The Rules of Attraction don’t allow embedding on ANY of their original webclips on YouTube.  However, there are literally a TON of them out there.  Just type “Ian Somerhalder” or “Paul Denton”  and “Rules of Attraction,” and you are bound to find them all.  Not surprisingly, most of my favorites of these  involve a shirtless Somerhalder dancing and jumping on a hotel bed in his boxer briefs.

Remind you of anything?

Lost (2004 -)

Those of you who have read this blog before, know that I am a big fan of early Lost episodes, particularly those from the show’s first season.  Of course, THIS GUY had a lot to do with that . . .

Boone Carlyle was everything you’d want in a guy.  Kind-hearted, loyal, intelligent, brave, resourceful,well-to-do, athletic, and dead sexy.  So, of course, the Lost writers had to crush him with a plane and kill him near the end of Season 1.  But before that happened, we got to watch him, through flashbacks, engage in a VERY inappropriate sexual relationship with his younger stepsister, Shannon.

And, you know what?  As much as you REALLY didn’t want to like these two together (Aside from being his relative, Shannon was a manipulative bitch, who basically treated Boone like crap his whole life, and used his feelings for her to con him out of $50 grand.), you just couldn’t get away from the fact that they were both so DAMN HOT!  The chemistry between Maggie Grace and Ian Somerhalder was so smoldering, they practically burnt a hole in your television, every time they were on screen together.  Watch this clip, if you don’t believe me . . .

Need more?  Type “Boone and Shannon” and “Lost” into your YouTube search bar, and you will find plenty more where that came from . . .

That’s all for now, Somerhalder fans.  Just a little something to whet your appetite during those long HOT Vampire Diaries – less months. 

Happy YouTubing!

Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey and Joey: The Fictional Television Super Couple That Ruined Me for All of My Future Relationships

           In honor of that not-so-fabulous upcoming February Holiday that shall remain nameless, I decided to pay tribute to one of my favorite television couples of all time.  Yes, boys and girls, before she met a man named Tom Cruise, before the “couch-jumping incident,” before Suri and scientology, Katie Holmes was just a girl named Joey Potter who fell in love with a boy named Pacey Witter.

              What follows is the Cliff Notes version (clips that make you go “awww” included) of the aforementioned couple’s relationship, which was carried out during the course of the show’s six seasons.  Special thanks go out to all the folks that posted these very special clips on YouTube, thus making my homage all the more complete . . .

 Season 1

            Like all great television couples, Pacey Witter and Joey Potter began the series hating each other.  Well, perhaps “hate” is too strong of a word.  But the two definitely didn’t exactly enjoy one other’s company . . . at least at first. 

                 When we first meet Joey, she is a shy and bookish tomboy from the wrong side of the Creek.  With a mother who died of cancer when Joey was only thirteen and a father in prison for drug trafficking, Miss Potter’s idea of a good time is climbing a ladder into the bedroom of her childhood pal, Dawson Leery (with whom she is secretly in love) crawling into his bed, and spending the evening watching old Steven Spielberg movies.

            Pacey is Dawson’s other best pal.  Son of the alcoholic local police chief, and the youngest of five children, Pacey begins the series as a skirt-chasing underachiever, who uses humor and sarcasm to hide his insecurities. At this point in the series, Pacey is best known for having a brief and highly inappropriate sexual relationship with his English teacher.

            Episode 11 – Double Date

            In Season 1, Pacey and Joey have little to do with one another, aside from the exchange of a few nasty barbs here and there.  After all, as I mentioned, Pacey is busy diddling the Teacher and Joey is coping with her unrequited feelings for Dawson.  And yet, in Episode 11, we see the first signs that things between the two may be about to change.  Forced to work together on an extra credit science project involving the mating habits of snails, Pacey and Joey find that they (gasp) actually enjoy one another’s company. 

             After a trip that the two take to the local pond gets hot and heavy, Pacey starts to think he may even have feelings for Joey.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxsUNUp-lqI

            Suddenly jonesing for some Joey-loving, Pacey confronts Dawson, while the latter is at a carnival pursuing his crush, Jen Lindley.  Young Witter asks Dawson for permission to pursue Joey.  After Dawson gives his OK (which he later reneges upon), Pacey tries to kiss Joey, but is rebuffed.  As it turns out, she likes him as a friend, but does not return his affections . . . yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPUX6TwUAYg

Season 3

            Most of Season 2 deals with the dramatic rise and fall of the relationship between Joey and Dawson (snooze), while Pacey is involved in a tumultuous fling with the annoyingly perky, and neurotically brainy Andie (double snooze).  However, at the end of that Season, Joey dumps Dawson, after he forces her to turn her own father over to the cops for dealing cocaine once again.  (A pretty good reason to dump someone, right?)

            Episode 36 – Like a Virgin 

               Despite that, as Season 3 opens, Joey throws herself at Dawson, hoping to give their relationship another shot.  And yet, Dumb Ass Dawson inexplicably denies her access to his manly parts.  After totally embarrassing the woman he supposedly still loves, Dawson goes to his best friend Pacey, now newly single after his girlfriend Andie was shipped off to the funny farm, and asks him to “look out for Joey.”  (Note to all of you men out there:  It is a BAD idea to have your hotter, sexier, funnier, and more charming best friend take care of the woman you love, while you are busy figuring out your issues.)

             Bad news for Dawson, but great news for us, because now the relationship between Pacey and Joey can truly begin in earnest.  The chemistry between the prospective couple is already evident in this heartfelt scene between them at the conclusion of the episode.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33_RzuieC6I

            Episode 44 – Four to Tango

            So, while Dawson is busy contemplating his navel, Pacey and Joey begin to develop a friendship.  In search of a college scholarship, Joey commandeers Pacey to partner up with her in a ballroom dancing class.  Pacey agrees to do this for Joey in exchange for her tutoring him in math.  Unbeknownst to Joey, Pacey, at this time, is engaging in a “friends with benefits” sort of relationship with the slutty Jen Lindley.

            Unfortunately, slutty equals sloppy, for Pacey and Jen.  And when Dawson finds a condom wrapper on the floor of his bedroom, shortly after Pacey has left, the former becomes convinced that Pacey is having an affair with Joey.  Hilarity ensues when the four confront each other at a ballroom dancing class.  There, Jen begins to suspect that romantic feelings are developing between Joey and Pacey.  She, therefore, breaks things off with her former sex toy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtBtO6fM3EE

Episode 47 – A Weekend in the Country

               In this almost sickeningly sweet episode, Pacey rallies the Capeside Scooby Gang to help Joey and her family to run a newly-opened bed and breakfast.  Much to Joey’s chagrin, he even contacts a famous hotel reviewer to drop in on the place.  Thanks mostly to Pacey, the bed and breakfast receives a favorable review.

              That night, Jen’s grandmother tells the Scooby Gang a story about the love of her life.  She explains that if a person truly loves someone, he or she could be content simply sitting for hours and watching that person sleep.  At the episode’s conclusion, Pacey returns to the B&B to find Joey fast asleep on the couch.  I think you can guess what happens . . . (No, not that . . . he actually just watches her sleep.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rSpeozS8pM&feature=related

Episode 48 – Valentine’s Day Massacre

                In this episode, Pacey once again rallies the Scooby Gang around him, only this time it is to attend a keg party thrown by one of Capeside High’s resident assholes.  When the party gets busted, the whole crew is thrown in the drunk tank.  As Joey scolds Dawson for his uncharacteristically bad behavior that night, a highly inebriated Pacey interrupts her, jealously chastising the pair for their agonizing on-again, off-again relationship, before puking in a nearby toilet.

            In the following scene, Pacey admits to his older brother that Joey is the kind of beautiful that “gives you butterflies.”  At the end of the episode, Pacey stops by Joey’s house.  But instead of telling her how he feels about her, he simply offers to teach her how to drive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1j-ouKoUKrc

Episode 50 – Crime and Punishment

               In this episode, the budding artist Joey is selected to paint a mural to be displayed at Capeside High School.  When one of Capeside High’s resident assholes (coincidentally the same asshole who threw the party in Episode 48) defaces the mural, Pacey beats the crap out of him.  He then rents Joey a wall in town so that she has an outlet for her artistic expression.  Seriously, how many of your significant others would be willing to buy you a wall?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNTdsm5Vu3w&feature=PlayList&p=590783AAD5312C95&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=3

Episode 52 – Cinderella Story

               When a romantic weekend with a random college guy goes horribly awry, a heartbroken Joey calls Pacey in the middle of the night to rescue her.  On the drive home, Joey admits that Pacey and Dawson are the only two people in the world who really “know [Joey].”  Overcome with emotion, Pacey abruptly pulls the car off the road, and plants a hot wet one on an unsuspecting Joey.  Sparks fly . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3tXZNN_7H8&feature=PlayList&p=590783AAD5312C95&index=4&playnext=2&playnext_from=PL

Episode 54 – Stolen Kisses

              When the Scooby Gang travels to Dawson’s aunt’s house for Spring Break, Pacey finds himself overwhelmed by the vast amount of history that exists between childhood friends and former lovers, Dawson and Joey.  When he leaves the house in a huff, Joey runs after him.  Joey then admits that Pacey’s touch “makes her feel alive.”  Allowing her ten seconds to stop him, Pacey grabs Joey and the two share a passionate kiss with one another, before being discovered by Dawson’s aunt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j22v3cvZ_XU&feature=PlayList&p=590783AAD5312C95&index=7

            Later that night, Joey and Pacey discuss the difficulties inherent in their relationship.  And yet, despite the problems they know it will cause in their social circle, Joey and Pacey find themselves overtaken by passion for one another.  This time, Joey grabs Pacey and kisses him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_ArKz1plLA&NR=1

Episode 57 – The Anti Prom

            Pacey and Joey’s new-found bliss is short-lived, however, and shortly after Stolen Kisses, the two break it off, in hopes of salvaging their now-broken respective relationships with a hurt Dawson.  At an alternative prom that the Scooby Gang puts together so that their homosexual friend, Jack, can attend with his boyfriend, Pacey and Joey share a heart-wrenching slow dance.  The fire between them becomes instantly apparent to everyone, including Dawson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtkd7YS4Gg8

Episode 58 – True Love

              Unable to cope with the loss of his relationship with Joey, Pacey decides to run away, choosing to spend the summer at sea on his boat, aptly named “True Love.”  Joey is torn between spending the summer rebuilding her friendship with Dawson (zzzzzzz), and following her heart with Pacey (Yippeee!!!).  In the final moments of the episode, she makes her choice . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaYyK63YSS0&NR=1

Duh!

Season 4

            Episode 72 – A Winter’s Tale

            Joey and Pacey spend most of Season 4 as a couple.  However, as is the case with most television couples, the actual relationship is never nearly as exciting as the build up.  And yet, despite all this, Season 4 contains within it, one of the best Joey and Pacey moments of the whole series.  This scene effectively defines and encapsulates the pair’s entire relationship.  In this episode, Joey and Pacey finally decide to do the deed on a school ski trip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lg1L3ZS5EQ

             Is it any wonder, that despite nearly two entire seasons apart (Season’s 5 and 6 were probably the show’s weakest, in my humble opinion), these two crazy kids got back together in the Series Finale?   I was going to include a clip of this as well.  However, seeing as most of the finale episode was fairly maudlin (a big chunk of time was spent coping with Jen’s untimely death), I decided the hot and steamy sex scene was a nicer place to end.  Wouldn’t you agree?

            Suffice it to say that, in my mind at least, Pacey and Joey lived happily ever after. (Coincidentally, in my mind, Tom Cruise eternally remains Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee, his character from A Few Good Men.  A nice and naively idealistic place, that mind of mine . . .). 

           Of course, all I got out of this relationship was a whole lot of baggage and a bunch of YouTube clips to fawn over.  Happy V-day to me! 🙂