Welcome Fangirls, to our latest edition of The Fangirls Fall Guide to 2016! Today, my talented pal Amy from Imaginary Men.Net and I will share the things that make us Fangirl most on the Internet and our smartypantsphones. If you’re looking to catch up on our picks for TV, movies, music and podcasts, then go ahead and check those out now! We’ll be right here waiting for you, and ready with our latest picks! (content is cross-posted at Imaginary Men.Net).
Amy’s Picks
Website: As I mentioned in the last post about my podcast pick You Must Remember This, I am a huge fan of classic Hollywood. About two years ago I stumbled upon Anne Helen Petersen a bonafide “Doctor of Gossip” who had a series called “Scandals of Classic Hollywood” (and wrote a book of the same name) I was stunned to find out that one could actually get a doctorate studying and writing about celebrities! I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT!! Well, likely not as academia was not my thing. So thank goodness AHP exists and that she left teaching to become Senior Culture Writer at Buzzfeed. I love her work because she writes with depth about celebrity and how it works, why we consume it. She explores what our pop culture fascinations actually reflect about us as a society. And her writing is accessible so complex concepts become easier to swallow when seeing them through her lens.
Ridiculously pretty Montgomery Clift
Now with her Buzzfeed gig she has expanded her topics to politics and social issues and those are all well researched and written as well. No clickbait here with AHP! Luckily she is still exploring modern celebrity and giving weight to topics that non-celebrity obsessed people would call shallow. Her recent coverage of the Brangelina divorce was no gossipy piece of fluff but a decade-in-the-making essay on the evolution of Angelina Jolie’s public persona and masterful use of publicity throughout the course of the couple’s high profile relationship. She validates our celebrity fascinations and after I read her pieces I always feel a little bit smarter. Recommended reads:Tiger Beat Goes On, The Trouble with “It” Girls.
App: There is just so. damn. much. TV to watch these days and too many ways to watch it. Sometimes just finding what platform is streaming the latest show the Internet is demanding you MUST WATCH RIGHT NOW can take a lot of time that would be better spent on watching TV. Enter a delightful app called Fan TV available for iPhone and Android. Just do a search for what you want to watch and it will tell you where it is streaming for both free and pay, or if it is only available through traditional viewing methods. My only complaint about it is that it can’t be a feature on my Roku so I could just click on it and then go right to my searched show to begin watching (I believe this falls under the category “First World Problems”!).
Julie’s Picks
Website: I’ll be honest. I have no clue how exactly I ended up on Refinery 29’s mailing list. I tend to do a lot of my shopping online, so, perhaps, it related to one of my recent purchases. Or maybe it was a related article I clicked on by accident. Perhaps, a friend recommended me.
All I know is that the first time the column / e-magazine appeared in my inbox, I was seconds away from sentencing it to the permanent Spam Zone. My finger waited hovering anxiously over the unsubscribe button. And then, for whatever reason, I decided to read.
Words can’t describe how much Refinery29 has made my life in the past few months. I learn everything from Refinery29. Article topics range from hair coloring and styling tips, to fall fashion trends, to diet and workout advice, to political, celebrity and news items, to what’s the best vibrator for you based on your Zodiac sign. (Mine, apparently is the kind you wear inside your underwear, and maneuver via external remote control. Who knew?) Regardless of topic, all the articles are well-written, interesting, insightful, and, let’s face it, make my dorky ass way cooler and in-the-know about top trends and goings on than I was before I got on the mailing list.
The good news though, is that you don’t have to get on Refinery29’s mailing list to read their articles. Save space in your inbox and find them at www.refinery29.com. I promise you won’t regret it!
App: Did you ever read those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books as a kid? If so, did you enjoy the freedom to dictate what happened in your own story, but find that enjoyment limited by the fact that the main character in the book neither looked, acted, or spoke anything like you. Not to mention the fact that his or her “life choices” consisted of things you would never ever consider doing in real life?
Welcome to Episodes, a free app you can download to your phone that allows you to Choose Your Own Adventure throughout thousands of episodic stories in which you’d actually ENJOY being a character. Some of the stories feature characters you already know; like, Mean Girls: Senior Year and Sorority Rush, in which your character battles against the iconic Regina George, and befriends Cady, Damien and Janis; or the Demi Lovato: Path to Fame Concert series, where you are a young rising starlet who landed a surprise spot on the established songstress’ tour bus.
Episodes also features and promotes the work of new up-and-coming writers, providing them with a new and unique visual medium through which to both promote their works, and reach readers they might not have a chance to access otherwise. Though the choices you get to make will vary drastically from story to story (and some choices cost money, but I’ll never choose those, on principal!), my favorite Episodes, by far, are the ones that allow you to design your own avatar. The choices you get to make toward crafting your character’s visual appearance actually go a long way toward helping you, as the reader, to visualize yourself in the story. And that visualization process is enhanced when the story allows you to select your character’s wardrobe at key points throughout the book.
Some of the threads you get are pretty sweet too! Check me out! I’ll be damned if this avatar doesn’t look exactly like me! Well…close enough.
Stay tuned next week for our final installment…books!
This weekend marked the premiere of Camp Rock 2, a follow-up film to the 2008 Disney-produced Jonas Brothers / Demi Lovato vehicle of the same name (without the 2, of course). The made-for-TV movie received pretty stellar ratings for a film of its genre, earning 8 million viewers on opening night, as well as the designation of “2010’s Top Cable Movie.” Although the film lacked a bit of the heart, and felt somewhat less genuine, than the original movie, it still made for an enjoyable two hours. For me, a lot of that enjoyment could be attributed to two key performances in the film — both of which I will touch on in just a bit . . .
“Are they ACTUALLY doing the funky chicken? Is this supposed to be a musical number, or a scene from my 55-year old, Uncle Marvin’s 4th wedding?”
It’s a brand new summer. And our main character, Mitchie Torres (played by Demi Lovato) is gearing up for yet another “awesome” camp experience.
On the surface, things look pretty perfect for Mitchie. She has a great group of friends as bunkmates. No longer does she have to hide the fact that she (gasp!) is part of the cooking staff at the titular Camp Rock. And . . . she has a boyfriend. Well . . . at least in the Disney Channel’s “we hold hands, and make googly eyes at eachother, but that’s about it” highly neutered definition of the term.
Did I mention he’s a FAMOUS ROCKSTAR? That’s right boys and girls. Last summer, Mitchie won the heart of the floppy-haired, tight-pants wearing Adonis, Joe Jonas Shane Gray . . .
. . . of The Jonas Brothers Connect 3!
(Sidenote: Also featured in Camp Rock, is Jonas Brothers’ little brother, Frankie Jonas, who plays one of the younger campers. Poor Frankie has been designated by fans with the unfortunate nickname, “Bonus Jonas” — a moniker that will be sure to earn him YEARS of therapy, once he reaches adulthood.)
Frankie “when’s it going to be my turn” Jonas
Mitchie must be REALLY good at hand-holding and googly eyes, because Shane has convinced his band to take an ENTIRE SUMMER off from touring, just so he can “get to know her better.” (Really, Shane? That’s your idea of a fun summer? No bikini-clad groupies, or all-night keggars? Just summer camp, with your sort of / kind of girlfriend? I guess “Shane” wears a purity ring too.)
Aside from some “transportation problems,” on the part of Connect 3 . . .
You know, I really HATE IT when my tour bus falls off a cliff. Don’t you?
. . . Shane arrives at Camp Rock, with no trouble at all . . . Well, unless you count the massive chicken sitting on his head . . .
But trouble DOES arrive soon enough, in the form of an invitation sent to Camp Rock from the mysterious Camp Star, which was conveniently built right across the lake, seemingly overnight. It turns out that Camp Star is run by the EVIL music producer, Axel Turner . . .
Um, yeah . . . this guy NEVER has to worry about being typecast as a villain.
. . . who’s been holding some long-standing grudge against Camp Rocks’ owner and director, Brown Cesario . . .
. . . since Brown kicked Axel out of his band, back in the ’80s.
So, the EEEVVVILLL Axel Turner lures the entire staff and all of the campers from Camp Rock to Camp Star for a “bonfire.” There, the group is treated to a flashy music number, and offers of immediate enrollment. Axel even goes as far as to offer to double all Camp Rock counselors’ salaries, for “making the switch” to Camp Star. Most of the Camp Rock counselors jump ship, along with some of the campers. Most notable among the defectors is Tess (Meaghan Jett Martin), the resident mean girl and “villain, ultimately redeemed,” from the previous film.
Suddenly, without a staff to properly run it, and with the threat of massive future camper desertions looming large, Camp Rock faces possible bankruptcy. Fortunately, Mitchie has a plan.
Why can’t the older CAMPERS be COUNSELORS? (This actually makes a lot of sense, seeing as most of the film’s cast seem WAY TOO OLD to be campers, anyway.)
Camp Rock also decides to challenge Camp Star to a televised sing and dance off. Our protagonists believe that winning such a contest will help Camp Rock to establish itself as a worthy camp, and, therefore, maintain its enrollment.
The stress of preparing for this big event puts a major crinkle in the “quality time” (read: more hand holding and googly eyes) that Shane wants to spend with Mitchie. The fact that Mitchie has undergone a complete personality transplant since the first film — going from shy, sweet, unassuming, and slightly insecure — to raging Type A, diva taskmaster, certainly doesn’t help matters . . .
I won’t tell you how it all ends. (Though I’m sure if you think hard enough, you can figure it out.) Needless to say, a lot of singing and dancing is involved.
But what really made this film for me, was not its main plotline — which basically served as a mere framing device for the various musical numbers — but its clever subplots, and three-dimensional supporting cast. My two favorite moments of the film came from actors Matthew “Mdot” Finley, and Nick Jonas, respectively. Finley plays Luke Williams, the ambitious and arrogant (but with good reason) ingenue of Camp Star.
Those of you out there who are Glee fans can probably understand Luke’s character best, this way: If Camp Star is Vocal Adrenaline, with its’ “all work, no play” attitude, snooty performers, and over-produced, automaton-esque, musical numbers, then Luke is Jesse St. James.
And yet, while there are definitely things about the Luke character that seem borrowed and cliche . . . (He also dresses and dances a bit like Usher, circa 2001.)
. . . Finley manages to give the role a certain complexity and inherent likeability. Even when the character is being a total douche, he’s somehow extremely charismatic. Plus, Finley and Meaghan Martin (who plays Tess) exchange their fair share of witty and biting banter during the film. The pair have excellent chemistry, which crackles and pops, during the few scenes they share together — chemistry that could have downright sexy, if this wasn’t a Disney film. So much so, that I found myself wishing the pair had more screen time.
Finley’s solo rendition of the very danceable “Fire,” was impressive, and showed extreme talent and skill, on his part. For me, it was the second best performance of the entire film. (I’ll get to the first in a moment.) See for yourself:
As I mentioned earlier, my other favorite performance of the evening, belonged to Nick Jonas, and his character, Nate Ericcs. Nick actually had very little to do acting wise, in the first film. So, it was nice to see him really get a chance to perform here.
Throughout most of the film, the shy and intelligent Nate finds himself pining over fellow performer, Dana Turner (played by Chloe Bridges), who just so happens to be the daughter of Camp Star’s EEEEVIL director, Axel Turner. (Kudos to Disney for NOT going the way-too-obvious Romeo & Juliet route here.)
You see, Nate obviously likes Dana. And Dana obviously likes him. But the BIG FAMOUS ROCKSTAR is SHY! And he doesn’t know how to talk to girls. (Stop laughing! It could happen!) So, he sort of / kind of stalks her, through the first half of the movie, ogling her from behind bushes and peering at her from beneath overtuned canoes . . .
Finally, Dana confronts Nate, telling him to buck up and CONVERSE with her. “I don’t even know anything about you . . . aside from the fact that you like canoes,” she whines.
Who doesn’t?
So, Nate, who has always been someone who can best express himself through song, serenades Dana with the quirkiest and sweetest little ditty ever, appropriately titled, “Introducing Me.”
(If you’re a fan of things like cute little puppies, teddy bears, and candy Conversation Hearts, click on the internal link, which will surely satisfy even the most stubborn of sweet tooths.)
If the rhythm of the above-referenced song sounds slightly familiar to you, you are not alone. Many have noted the similarity between Nick Jonas’ “Introducing Me” and Jason Mraz’ “I’m Yours.” But I’m going to keep my opinions on this matter to myself, for now, and let you decide. You can listen to an acoustic version of “I’m Yours” by clicking here.
Both “Introducing Me” and “Fire” are available for download on ITunes, as is the rest of the Camp Rock 2 soundtrack. As for the film itself, your best bet is probably to Netflix it. 🙂
These are two ACTUAL screencaps. Both were taken from the first FIVE MINUTES of Thursday night’s Grey’s Anatomy. You’re welcome.
After last week’s cringe-tastic, surgery heavy, UGLY episode . . . thanks to which, I will never view this image in the same way EVER again . . .
. . . it was really nice to see Grey’s getting back to it’s roots this week — You know, surgery-lite; mushy-gushy relationship stuff / shirtless men HEAVY. I don’t know about you, but I tend to prefer my Grey’s simple and super girly. And a girly Grey’s was exactly what I got!
“Give me an E – S -T -R- O -G -E-N! What’s that spell?”
Couples really took center stage during this episode of Grey’s. Heck, even this week’s medical mysteries featured “couples” of some sort. Well . . . except for ONE medical mystery . . .
WOAH! This Disney Chick can ACT . . . so well that I can almost forgive her for that Princess Protection Program movie . . .
. . . ALMOST.
So, what are we waiting for? Let’s get on with this girly boink-fest!
We’re Having a Party . . . Everybody’s Slutty!
The episode began with a PARTY at the Mer and Der House! It was a party to celebrate McDreamy!
For what reason, I am not entirely sure . . . for being Chief, I guess. The only problem was . . . it wasn’t a very good fiesta. Karev, perhaps, said it best when he remarked, “This party blows.”
For one thing, everyone looked all stuffy and uncomfortable, in their suits and “business casual” dresswear, i.e. dowdy dresses, that don’t show anything above the knee. Who the heck has house parties like this? Your grandpa, that’s who! And that’s when it suddenly occurred to me. Our Greysies are getting OLD!
It’s TRUE! Meredith proved it, when she said, “At my parties, we drank tequila and danced on tables!”
And that was true . . FIVE SEASONS AGO . . .
Remember the Boozy Slutty Dysfunctional Meredith of Season 1? Good times!
But it’s not true now! The one good thing about the party, was that it offered us this lovely picture, of our suave and suited Grey’s men, sipping scotch and poring over floor plans . . .
How very Ocean’s 11 of them! Not this Ocean’s 11, mind you . . .
. . . more like this one . . .
See what I mean . . . about the OLD?
Anyway, things improved quickly, when we LEFT the party and were delivered NOT ONE, BUT TWO, shirtless prelude-to sex scenes . . . The first one was between Bailey and her latelyMIA Gas Man . . .
Remember him? If you didn’t before, I bet you won’t forget him NOW!
The second scene, not-so-surprisingly, featured Mark “I-Get-More-Play-Than-A Slot-Machine-In-Vegas” Sloan.
What was surprising, was who he was with. It wasn’t his current girlfriend, Teddy, nor his ex-girlfriend, Lexie. Nor was he with his “friends with benefits” gal pal, the recently single, Callie. Nope, Sloan was with . . .
. . . that annoying pixie-haired Mercy Wester chick, who hasn’t been around for half the season?
Ummm . . . yeah, so McSteamy is coming out of the shower all steamy, after what was probably a fairly tepid round of lovemaking with Slutty but Boring Doc Reed, when, who walks in and catches them post-coitus?
You guessed it, his current girlfriend TEDDY! To Sloan’s credit, he doesn’t do that thing you see in romantic comedies, where the guy gets caught in the act of cheating, and he starts jumping around like a jack rabbit, sputtering, “It’s NOT what you think!” (When it always is exactly THAT!)
Instead, he INVITES TEDDY TO JOIN THEM!
Way to go McSteamy! You may be a mental midget when it comes to the ways of women, but you sure are COOL!
Unfortunately, the producers cut away from the scene, before we can find out if Teddy accepts the proposition, but I’m thinking . . . NOT! Truth be told, Teddy is only interested in one threesome, and one threesome only . . . this one.
News Flash Cristina Yang, Owen is Just Not That Into You . . .
Hey, Yang! Wanna join my book club? We’re reading one that you will LOVE!
Speaking of the World’s Most Unhappy Threesome Ever, while Teddy is being cheated on by Mark, Owen is impulsively asking a drunk Cristina to move in with him, “because my therapist said it was a good idea.” Now if that’s not a ringing endorsement for romance, folks, I don’t know what is!
Cristina instantly AGREES to this lame proposition, and I start to wonder whether the majority of her brain cells are housed in her scrubs. After all, it seems like such an uncharacteristically DUMB move on the part of a woman who, normally, is one of the most intelligent characters on this show. Then again, it wouldn’t be the first time that a man made Cristina do less than brilliant things . . .
EEEVILL!
Meredith overhears this exchange, and is again faced with the moral crisis she dealt with last week. You see, Meredith is convinced that Owen’s failure to follow Cristina’s wishes, and help Teddy keep her job, was incontrovertible evidence that Owen is secretly in love with Teddy.
“I LOVE YOU . . . so I tried to get you fired. My therapist said it was a good idea . . .”
So, on one hand, she owes it to her BFF Cristina to let her know that her boyfriend is a poopy head . . .
. . . and, like all poopy, deserves to be unceremoniously dumped. On the other hand, the information she learned about Owen, came from Derek, and the confidentiality requirements associated with Post-It Note Marriages, are SERIOUS!
Nothing says loving like Sticky Paper, purchased in a 150-note multicolored pack (2 for $3.00!) at CVS . . .
So, Meredith decides to play King Solomon and split the baby . . .
. . . instead of outright telling Cristina about her poopy head boyfriend, she drops annoyingly coy hints of his emotional infidelity, throughout the episode. Initially, Cristina, who has always been a “shoot the messenger” type gal, gets pissed at Meredith, and denies that such infidelity exists. However, with the seeds of doubt successfully planted, and love triangles seeming to haunt her wherever she goes, Christina starts to question the nature of her relationship with Owen.
Ultimately, in a really great scene, Meredith confronts Owen about his feelings for Teddy. Meredith explains to Owen, that if he is a “good guy,” he will come clean to Cristina about his throwing Teddy under the bus, when her job was on the line, and then lying about it. In true Grey’s fashion, Teddy, of course, overhears all of this. But to her credit, no trace of a sh&t-eating grin can be found on her face, upon hearing the good news.
Nor does she break into song, belting out, “You really LIKE me! You think I’m SEXY! You want to DATE me!”
Color me impressed. Ultimately, Owen confesses his lie to Cristina. And when she outright asks him whether he is in love with Teddy, he says, articulately, “I don’t know.” (Perhaps he should get a new therapist. Because, clearly, the one he has now is not doing a good job, writing his “lines” for him.)
At the end of the episode, in a scene highly reminiscent of early Grey’s, a torn-up Cristina crawls into bed with Meredith and admits that she and Owen are no longer moving in together. Meredith changes the subject, but does so in a sweet way, by showing Cristina the plans for her and Derek’s house in the woods, where there is a separate room for Cristina to crash whenever she find herself in need of a hug . . .
Awww!
Relationships are like ducks . . .
Things were going significantly better for new couple, Alex and Lexie, this week, at least, on the surface. After expending WAY too much mental energy on the recent sexual rendezvous of her ex- Sloan, especially, for a person who claims to be “over him,” Lexie decides it might be a good idea to issue Alex an ultimatum on the state of their sort-of relationship. And, while normally, such an ultimatum, would have sent Alex running for the hills . . .
Running shirtless . . . (Oh come on, as if a picture like that EVER needs a proper recap tie-in to be included!)
. . . New and Improved Alex responds by making out with Lexie in public AGAIN. Once they are done swapping spit with one another, he tells her. “Yeah, we are a thing. Whatever.” (OK, I’m thinking that Owen’s inarticulate therapist is writing Alex’s lines too. How about you?)
Later, when Meredith questions Alex about the nature of his relationship with Lexie, he explains that he is acting like . . . a duck.
Because ducks are sexy . . . (Awesome pic “borrowed” from marginalnotes btw)
Although the metaphor was, admittedly, a bit unclear, I think Alex was referring to the whole, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck, it’s probably a duck” thing. In other words, act like you are in a healthy relationship, and soon you will actually find yourself in one. Ummm . . . yeah, I’m not so sure about that, Alex . . .
And apparently, Lexie isn’t so sure either. When Mark professes his love to her, at the end of the episode, Lexie doesn’t immediately jump his bones, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight either. “I have a boyfriend,” says Lexie, half-heartedly.
“But I’m telling you that you could have a husband,” replies Most-Articulate-Male-of-this-Episode, Mark (maybe more like a Dad than a husband, but, like Alex says, “Whatever”).
It’s definitely a May – December Romance. But in terms of “couple names,” “Sexie” TOTALLY kicks “Lalex”‘s butt!
So they’ve got that going for them, at least.
The Medical Stuff
You know what was really interesting about this week’s three “medical mysteries?” They all got SOLVED!
. . . and NOBODY DIED!
. . . and that burn victim chick got her hair back!
It was the happiest hospital day EVER at Seattle Grace! First, we got to meet an awesome star from Happy Days!
“What? You were expecting, The Fonz?”
It’s Mommy Marion Ross! She still looks pretty good! And, apparently, I wasn’t the only one who thought so! In a series of events that ONLY happens on TV, Marion Ross’s character, Betty, is in the hospital, getting . . . something done . . . not sure what . . . when she runs into Cute Old Dude Henry, her long lost love, who she hasn’t seen in 50-years.
They are eachother’s “one that got a way.” Now, with no more obstacles standing between them (because all of those obstacles, unfortunately, are now DEAD), Betty and Henry decide to move in together (once they get out of the hospital, of course), and give their relationship a go. I know, it sounds kind of lame, but it was actually really sweet. And Cute Old Dude Henry had a voice that sounded like it narrated fairy tales for a living, so that made it even sweeter . . .
We also got to meet a burn victim in the hospital, who was supposed to get a hair regrafting (she had lost most of it in a car explosion), when she learns that she has an infection on her arm, and needs her fingers amputated. At first, the doctors tell her that her infection will prevent her from getting the hair regrafting operation. But then, they decide, RISKS be damned, HAIR IS IMPORTANT!
And so they do the grafting during the hand amputation. Of course, had Burn Victim Girl appeared in ANY OTHER episode, aside from this one, this would have been a perfect opportunity for the writers to senselessly kill her off, and manipulate us fans into tears. ( And we know how Grey’s LOVES the tears!) However, Burn Victim Girl was lucky, because she got to star in an episode entitled “Shiny HAPPY People.” And because HAPPY people tend to be, more often than not, ALIVE, she got to live too!
Finally, in what was the best “medical mystery” of the episode, Demi Lovato . . .
HEY! What did I say about referring to that film again?
Sorry . . . Demi Lovato . . .
. . . enters the hospital as a teen diagnosed with schizophrenia, who was admitted to the hospital after, literally, trying to claw her eyes out! Everyone at the hospital thinks she’s a TOTAL nutjob, except this guy . . .
Sigh!
Who, instead, assumes she must have some extremely rare disease. (After all, those have been conveniently traveling around Grey’s in search of likeable guest stars patients since Season 1). Alex runs some initial tests on the teen, and comes up empty handed. He then confronts his girlfriend with the photographic memory, Lexie-pedia, with his patient’s symptoms. Intially, she can’t remember where, in the many medical books she has memorized, she saw the disease. “Lexie-pedia is FROZEN!” Alex complains. (I LOVE HIM!)
But then Lexie remembers that the disease can be found in some obscure medical journal from 2004 with a light green cover. In the next scene, we watch as Alex outfits the teen in this weird scary head gear, that makes her look like Johnny Five from those old Short Circuit films . . .
As if, on cue, Demi’s eyes go all buggy, and she freaks out. So, of course, this was all Karev needed to diagnose her as having a small hole in her inner ear, that allowed her to hear everything that was going on inside her body. YUCK! Apparently, all this rare disease takes to cure, is a brief operation where the hole is plugged up. After the operation, we know that Demi is sane again, because she is wearing a bandage around her head that looks like a really stylish headband . . .
Dear Demi,
Now that your “sane,” I’d really like my headband back.
XOXO
Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl
In Other News . . .
. . . Callie and Arizona shared an impromptu sexy makeout session in the elevator . . .
Ooh, la, la!
But accomplished precisely NOTHING in terms of their relationship . . .
Boo, la, la 😦
Oh, and the Gas Man . . .
This pic NEVER gets old . . .
. . . told Bailey . . .
. . . that even though he sometimes flirts with random nurses, he saves all the GOOD flirting for her . . .
So, there you have it, “Shiny Happy People,” in a nutshell. This was the LAST new episode of Grey’s before the show airs it’s purportedly “game-changing” two-hour season finale (with the hours entitled “Sanctuary” and “Death and all of His Friends,” respectively) next week. Media sites have teased that the final two episodes of Season 6, will feature nothing less than a SHOOTING and a fairly major character death. Here’s a sneak peak at the promo . . .
Thanks for the video, adam9316!
I’ll admit it. I’m afraid . . . very afraid! See you next week!
This week’s installment of Grey’sAnatomy was just FILLED with squirm-inducing, uncomfortable moments. Moments that were just ASKING for someone to say or do the wrong thing, out of sheer discomfort. So, it was probably a good thing that the episode began with the Seattle Grace staff taking a crash course in sensitivity training, led by “The Nazi” herself, Miranda Bailey.
“I pity the fool who’s INSENSITIVE around my patients!”
Here are just some of the awkward moments that our favorite doctors coped with this week . . .
Have 700-pound man, CAN’T travel . . .
Mere minutes after the crew concluded their half-assed class in sensitivity training, a 700-pound patient was delivered to Seattle Grace on the back of a flat bed truck. In addition to some of the more obvious complications generally associated with carrying that much extra weight (heart conditions, breathing problems, diabetes, immobility, gout etc.), the patient also had a less obvious condition that was life threatening and required medical care. Namely, a seriously heinous-looking rash was developing beneath his many layers of skin tissue and fat.
And let me tell you, for those of you out there who are trying to diet, leave this episode on your DVR queue. When the episode started, I was chowing down on my favorite cereal — two minutes later I had COMPLETELY lost my appetite!
Watch TV, make this face, LOSE WEIGHT! It’s that simple!
When I started to write this recap, I was torn as to whether I would post pictures of the 700-pound man. After all, I do have access to them. And they would certainly help you, the reader, get a better idea of what our doctors were faced with. Yet . . . quite frankly . . . it was GROSS! And my blog has been so pretty up until this point — pretty and filled with hot shirtless men who weighsignificantly less than 700 pounds. Like, for example, Justin Chambers (who plays Karev on the show) . . .
So did I really want to do this to my readers and my blog?
Now . . . before you start calling ME insensitive (Shallow? Maybe. But insensitive? Definitely not) . . . I should tell you that the actor who played the 700 – pound man is not actually 700 pounds. In fact, he is a very charming, sort of attractive, character actor named Jerry Kernion. Here’s his REAL picture, sans fat suit.
But the makeup department at Grey’s Anatomy did an almost TOO GOOD job of making the guy you see above, frighteningly obese and rash-filled. What’s more, if I posted the actual picture, you might be so disturbed by it that you would miss the point that show was trying to make. After all, the patient, named Bobby, was so sweet, self-depracating, and genuinely likeable, throughout the episode, that, after a while, you stopped seeing him as the grotesque product of latex and a BIG FAT SUIT, and more as a jolly chubster like this . . .
So that’s what I’ve ultimately decided to do. Whenever I refer to the 700-pound Bobby in this blog, you will get a picture of The Nutty Professor for your viewing pleasure. You’re welcome. Anyway, back to the show . . .
So, 700-pound Bobby . . .
. . . is being surprisingly light-hearted about this whole thing, smiling and cracking jokes, as the hospital staff pokes and prods him like an animal. But the staff is so freaked out by their predicament, and so petrified of being thrown off the case for making insensitive remarks, that they come off as cold and distant. Bailey tosses out Christina and Dr. “Hotness” Avery . . .
Sigh . . .
. . . within about two minutes, for making fat jokes under their breath. And that random Frankenstein-y Mercy West doc follows shortly after, for comparing Bobby to a rhinocerous. But by far the Most Insensitive Comment of the Evening Award goes to Nu-Chief Shepherd, who suggests that the patient be sent home to die because, “Why should we expend our time and resources to care for a patient who doesn’t even both to care for himself?”
Special thanks go out to smileymileyfan35for this awesome compilation!
Ultimately, Dr. Less-Than-Dreamy reconsiders his earlier position, when we learn that Bobby’s wife is pregnant.
This, of course, raises the inevitable question of HOW? Down at the hospital cafeteria, home to some of Grey’s Anatomy’s most humorous moments, including this one . . .
Thanks LightSpectre!
. . . the Grey’s crew tries to figure out the logistics of a sex act between a 700-pound man and a 120ish pound woman. Karev even resorts to using a “model.”
Unfortunately, for Karev, Bobby’s wife ALSO eats in the cafeteria, and she hears the entire exchange! OUCH! To her credit, this woman slays the crew with kindness. With a smile on her face, she tells them that she would be happy to let them in on the logistics of her sex romp provided the rest of the group share their sexual kinks. “Then again, it’s probably none of my damn business,” she concludes icily, before stalking away.
She sure showed them . . .
Later Alex confronts the wife to apologize, but she is understandably non-receptive. “You didn’t know him before this,” she explains. “To me, he’s still the same man I married. All he’s been trying to do all day is make you laugh, and you’re all so disgusted by him, you can’t even crack a smile. I thought you could help him. But you’re just making it worse.”
Taking the woman’s speech to heart, Alex visits Bobby . . .
. . . who is now convinced he wants to die. “No child deserves a father like this,” says Bobby. “It would be better if he didn’t know me at all.”
Alex eases the tension by exchanging a few fat jokes with Bobby. He then gives him some tough love, explaining that a decision to die would be a selfish one. He would be leaving his wife to clean up a “700-pound mess.” Alex ultimately convinces Bobby to go through with the risky surgery by saying, “at least your wife and kid would know you tried.”
After a few nerve-wracking hiccups, Bobby survives the surgery and vows to make some major lifestyle changes. We hope he does, because we like our Nutty Professor a lot . . .
. . . and we want to keep him around.
The Gossip, The Big Fat Liar . . . and Meredith
When Gossip Girl Derek . . .
. . . makes an offhand comment to Meredith about Owen refusal to support Teddy, when her job was on the line last week, he puts his Post-It Wife in a BAD position. On one hand, Derek is her sort-of husband, and she should generally keep his confidences. On the other, Christina is her best friend. And if her best friend is dating a Big Fat Liar (Owen told Christina he had helped Teddy keep the job), she has a right to know about it. To Meredith’s credit, she initially keeps her mouth shut. But when she overhears Teddy THANKING Owen for his help and support, she can’t help but toss a withering look his way.
And so, like a petulant child, with his hand caught in the cookie jar, Owen . . .
Sergeant D-Bag
. . . reacts defensively by kicking Meredith off his surgical team for no apparent reason, and freaking out on Derek for divulging his confidences. Derek confronts Meredith and the two get into a heated argument about the importance of openness and confidentiality in a marriage. However, I’m with Meredith on this one. If Derek didn’t want Post-It Wife to react to information that was obviously pertinent to the life of her best friend, he just plain shouldn’t have told her. BAD DEREK!
Divorce Papers, PDAs and Foreplay
I know, I know . . . this is an OLD pic. Just imagine Lexie with blonde hair, OK?
So Izzie finally sent Karev the divorce papers (because Katherine Heigl is off the show). And Karev didn’t seem to think that this was pertinent information to share with girl he’d been screwing for the past four or five episodes. But when Meredith tries to discuss it with him, Lexie overhears. OOPS! And she’s pissed! When confronted with the issue, both halves of the screwing bunnies claim that their relationship is just about sex. However, at the end of the episode, when Karev is signing the divorce papers and Lexie stops by, he plants a big sloppy wet one on her in public, which, in Grey’s world, equals TRUE LOVE!
(at least until someone better comes along . . .)
Breaking up is Hard to Do . . .
We all knew it was coming. It was just a question of when it would happen and how it would arise. Honestly, the circumstances that brought about the Callie / Arizona breakup seemed a bit contrived to me. But that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking when it happened.
So, there was this cheeky little bike riding chick in the hospital who needed a knee repair. And she starts TOTALLY hitting on Callie hardcore. This was REALLY ballsy of the chick, I think, because (1) Callie is her doctor; and (2) your gaydar has to be PRETTY fine-tuned to pick up on Callie Torres’ same-sex tendencies. I mean, she’s not exactly this guy . . .
Before leaving the hospital, the biker chick writes her telephone number in permanent marker on Callie’s hand. (What, no cell phone? Is this another 80s flashback episode, and I just didn’t know it?) So, Callie, being the passive aggressive gal she is, shows Arizona the number and says, “Every time I looked at this girl, I just kept wondering if she might want to have a baby someday.” (Riiiiiiight . . . because that’s the first thing I think about, when I find myself attracted to a perfect stranger . . . FERTILITY.)
After hearing this, Arizona agrees to move out of the apartment that the couple shares. The two lovers cry, while hugging it out. Love sucks!
“I miss my dad.”
Speaking of crying, Sandra Oh had me bawling like a baby this week. It all started when she was asked to watch over a little girl who’s mother had experienced a heart attack. While the mother is undergoing tests, Christina bonds with the little girl — so much so, that when the mother is rushed into surgery, Christina chooses to comfort the crying child, instead of operating on her mother.
While the pair is playing cards, the little girl asks Christina what will happen if her mother dies. Just as she is asking this, Avery enters the room, and silently lets Christina know that the little girl’s mother did not make it through surgery.
Trying to keep her face impassive, Christina replies, “If your mother dies, you will blame yourself. You will think that you did not do enough to help her. But that is not true. You did everything you could. Remember that. And it’s going to hurt everytime you think about her. But, over time, it will begin to hurt a little less. Until, one day, you will find that you can think about her, without it hurting much at all.”
(And, wow, I just cried typing that.)
Avery . . .
Sigh . . . Are any of you routing for an eventual Christina / Avery pairing, as much as I am?
. . . who overheard Christina’s speech, confronts her about it, wondering about whether she had experienced a similar death in the family, at a yong age. (Long-time viewers, like myself, know that her father died in a car accident, when she was very young. Christina was in the car and had to watch him die. It was this experience that prompted Christina to eventually become a doctor.)
Christina sloughs it off, claiming that she was merely “kicking ass at sensitivity training.” However, later, when Meredith approaches Christina, she roughly pushes her away, asking to speak to Owen. When Owen enters the room with her, she breaks down, “I miss my dad,” she admits tearfully.
(And I just starting crying AGAIN, as I typed that. Hormones much?)
While I go find some tissues, I’m going to leave you with this clip from next week’s installment of Grey’s Anatomy, which guest star’s Disney darling, Demi Lovato, as a schizophrenic patient with a penchant for self-mutilation.
Thank you Bluesky1234 for the late-breaking video!
u, as the reader, to visualize yourself in the story. And that visualization process is enhanced when the story allows you to select your character’s wardrobe at key points throughout the book.
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