Tag Archives: Emma

Writing Wrongs – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Best Laid Plans”

look at the door

Fiction writers wield a great power over the characters in the stories they create. These characters’ happiness, their futures, their entire ability to continue existing, rests at their writers’ fingertips. Consequently, the relationship between an author and his or her characters is one built on trust.

no one gets to decide

The best writers learn to listen to their characters . . . allowing these fictional, but very real-seeming, individuals to dictate their own stories in ways that feel most true to them. And when an author fails to heed the true intentions of one of its characters, that character won’t be shy about letting the author know exactly how she feels about the decisions made on her behalf.

darken your heart

unsavior the saviro

Show me the fiction writer who claims never to have been slapped around a few times by one of her characters, and I’ll show you a liar . . .

Once Upon a Time has always spent a lot of hot air debating the nature of good and evil. The characters who make the “right” choices are considered “good” and are rewarded. The characters who make the “wrong” choices are considered evil and are pooped upon . . .

But what happens when a character wants to make the right choice and her author takes that choice away from her in order to tell a “better” story?

This week, Once was all about the battles characters engage in daily with their unseen authors. It featured good characters being bad, and bad characters trying to be good . . . also unicorns . . .

unicornicopia

. . . dragon eggs, and some guy named Walt . . .

walt

Let’s review, shall we?

You can check out the rest of this recap HERE!

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The Wishy Washy Wishing Star – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Fall”

making the curse

Still suffering from a tryptophan-induced post-Thanksgiving food coma? This kind of fillery pre-cursor to the important episode action-packed installment of everybody’s favorite show guest-starring those wacky kids from Frozen has just what you need to wake you right out of your Turkey Hangover.

ouat 4.2 snow baby

It has snappy one liners . . .

dont trust blondes

Hot people tearfully kissing . . .

goodbye lover

not afraid

Magical hats that vacuum up the show’s most obnoxious characters . . .

that hat

And certain-death situations from which people get rescued at the last possible second for no other reason than that they are just so gosh darn cute and because Disney has contractually required that they survive at least until Frozen 2: Electric Boogaloo. . .

we were froze

Also, we learned valuable lessons about the temperamental nature of magical jewelry and the importance of wearing safety goggles.

Yes, I’m talking about safety goggles. You know, those hideous clear plastic boxes you wore in your high school chemistry class? The ones that made even your most attractive classmates look positively ridiculous and left tell-tale pink raccoon circles around your eyes for hours after you took them off?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure those things would have been much more effective in protecting the sweet residents of Storybrooke from the spell of “Falling Glass That Gets in Your Eyes and Makes You an Asshole” than basically anything the cast did during this episode to try to protect themselves.

carol safety

But hey, let’s be honest. We didn’t really want our heroes to win this time, did we? After all, nothing says good TV like an asshole Snow White and a douchey Prince Charming ripping one another to shreds.

OUAT Snow White golden arrow

I’m getting ahead of myself again, aren’t I? Let’s review.

You can check out the rest of this recap here.

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The Firestarter – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “The Snow Queen”

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/blowing.gif”><img class=”size-full wp-image-25931 aligncenter” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/blowing.gif&#8221; alt=”blowing” width=”500″ height=”281″ /></a>

In a season that’s been all about snow monsters, people who shoot ice out of their fingers, and women who accidentally/on purpose get turned into popsicles, “The Snow Queen” was a nice, refreshing, change of pace. Why, you ask? Because this was an hour of television that brought the heat, in more ways than one . . .

Now, unless you own an ice cream shop or a ski lodge, or just find the refrigerator in your home to be a huge waste of space, the ability to shoot icicles from your finger is pretty much one of the least useful super powers ever.

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ouat-4.3-ice-cream.jpg”><img class=”aligncenter wp-image-24834 size-full” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ouat-4.3-ice-cream.jpg&#8221; alt=”Gluten free, death full!” width=”587″ height=”280″ /></a>

(Almost as unhelpful in life as “being able to tell when people are lying <del datetime=”2014-11-10T03:14:15+00:00″>except for when its plot convenient for you not to be able to tell.</del>”)

Shooting firebolts from your fingers on the other hand, now THAT is pure awesomesauce.
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Consider this for a moment. In a single episode, we saw Emma’s magical hot fingers used to warm baby bottles . . .

. . . convert dull tap water into sparkling . . .

. . . provide an inexpensive form of mood lighting . . .

. . . offer demolition and remodeling services . . .

. . . and redirect traffic.
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Also bringing the heat, this week, Regina and Robin, who taught all of us the very important lesson that, while cheaters never win, they still can be really awesome kissers.

<a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/more-makeout.gif”><img class=”wp-image-25928 size-full” src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/more-makeout.gif&#8221; alt=”more makeout” width=”245″ height=”150″ /></a> Game of Bones
<p style=”text-align: left;”>More importantly, amidst all of this “hot stuff,” the titular Snow Queen finally got her own backstory. And, holy heck, was it a heart breaker (heart freezer?) One that arguably sets her apart as one of the most sympathetic villains in <em>Once</em> history, played with devastating vulnerability and an understated and, dare I say, chilly, grace by Elizabeth Mitchell.</p>
<p style=”text-align: center;”><a href=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/cant-love.gif”><img class=”alignnone size-full wp-image-25922″ src=”http://happynicetimepeople.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/cant-love.gif&#8221; alt=”cant love” width=”245″ height=”240″ /></a></p>
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Let’s review, shall we?</p>

You can check out the rest of the recap here.

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A Bad Day for Gingers – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Family Business”

cover image blondie

Sorry Brunettes, Gingers, Silver Foxes, and Raven-Haired Beauties! This week on Once, if your hair is not the color of sunshine, Tweety Bird or scrambled eggs, this woman wants you dead . . . like yesterday.

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“Is it too late to invest in some bleach?”

She’s Snow Hitler, basically . . .

Elsewhere in Fairytale Land, Belle did a pretty crappy thing to Anna for a pebble and an even crappier thing to Rumpelstiltskin for a hat box.

terrible dream

“Oh Rumple! I just had this horrible nightmare in which I acted like a total asshole for an entire episode . . . oh, you mean that wasn’t a dream? Crap!”

And Hook? Well, he didn’t do very much at all, save looking sexy and making some wry comments about how gosh darn incestuous Storybrooke has become . . .

everyone in town is related making eyes at eachother

making eyess

once a child

Still so pretty though . . .

So hug your favorite Rock Troll and steer clear of evil mirrors that talk too much, because it’s time for another Once Upon a Time Recap . . .

(You can check out the rest of this recap here.)

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Maid Marion Gets a Cold – A Recap of Once Upon a Time’s “Rocky Road”

frozen maid marion

“Hey, anyone got a tissue?  Or an ice scraper?”

What does it take to gain your trust?  Are you someone who is easily won over?  All it takes is a pretty face, a warm smile or a few moments of bonding over a sweet treat, and you are already convinced you’ve met a friend for life.

ice cream for roland

Do you tend to give people the “benefit of the doubt,” and view them in the best light possible, until they prove to be otherwise?

trust you

Or perhaps you are a bit more discerning in the people with whom you choose to share your secrets?  You often find yourself skeptical of the motives of others.  You play your cards close to your chest.  Those who don’t know you well may even call you aloof, standoffish, or, dare I say . . . frosty .  . .

not to trust

Though one could argue that the theme of every episode so far of Season 4 of Once has been “how to milk the Frozen franchise for all its worth,” I would argue that this particular episode . . .

nodding oh yeah

  .  . . had that theme too . . .

verbal keyboard smash

 . . . but it was also about “Trust.”

For people like Elsa and Emma, who have been hurt and mistreated in their past, it is difficult to open up and trust others .  . .

For people like Regina, Rumpelstiltskin and Will Scarlet, who have been stereotyped and marginalized for their past deeds, it is difficult to regain the trust of the people who may have already written them off.

breaking mirror

And for people like the Snow Queen, this general lack of trust amongst the good people of Storybrooke proves to be a fertile playground for manipulation, control, and all sorts of other activities that tend to frequent the To Do Lists of every self-respecting Big Bad.

Let’s review, shall we?

Actually, before we begin . . .

A Little Background on The Snow Queen

What’s fun about Once Upon a Time, is that most of the fairytale characters we meet here are fairly recognizable to pretty much anyone who has ever read a fairytale or  . .  . more likely . . . seen a Disney movie based on a Fairytale.  Most of us grew up knowing at least the basic stories of Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, Little Red Riding Hood.

disney princesses

But Once seems to have waded a bit deeper into the Fairytale Pool for The Snow Queen, a story that probably didn’t make a lot of your first grade teachers’ Must Read list . .  . basically because its super dark, and a little gross . . .

You see, The Snow Queen’s modus operandi was basically to shove broken pieces of glass mirrors into people’s eyes (ouch!) and distort their vision of the world.  She’d make them hate everything and mistrust everyone except for . . . wait for it . . . The Snow Queen herself.

up top

“Up top!”

This was a step-by-step process. First she’d make her victims act like total douchebags to all their friends.  Then, when they had no friends left, she’d have them come live with her.  Then she’d make out with them (even if they happened to be little prepubescent boys . . . ewwwww), causing them to not only mistrust and hate their former friends, but to forget their existence entirely.

In short, The Snow Queen was the “If I can’t have you, no one can,” abusive boyfriend / mistress in every Lifetime Movie you ever saw . . .

bunny burner

A burner of bunnies . . . among other things.

So, with that in mind . . .

(You can read the rest of my recap for Once Upon a Time’s Rocky Road here . . .)

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Five True Blood Spinoffs I Might Enjoy Watching More than Season Five . . .

 

[Attention Werebangers!  The recap for this week’s Teen Wolf episode, Party Guessed, should be up by early this evening, July 25th.  Sorry for the delay!]

Greetings, Fangbangers!  Some of you might have noticed that I’ve been a wee bit (OK, a LOT BIT) less prolific, of late, when it comes to recapping, and fangirling over a certain vampire-themed HBO show.  Part of that has to do with time constraints and “personal issues,” which I suspect none of you give two licks about.

The other part, though, has to do with a certain recent, shall I say,”cooling off” in my love affair with True Blood?  

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a card-carrying Fangbanger.  I still get all gooey over the prospect of neck nibbles, sexy glamour sessions, supernatural sex, and, let’s not forget,  the always enticing-opportunity for a bare ass sighting from Ryan Kwanten, Alexander Skarsgard, and/or Joe Manganiello.

It’s just that . . . well . . . parts of this season of True Blood have been a tad . . . underwhelming.

Like, for example, that “lfrite” storyline!  I liked it better when it was on Lost and called “The Black Smoke Monster.”  Every time it appears on my screen, I find myself thinking, “What the “lfrite” are the writers doing taking time away from a prospective Naked Eric Money Shot to show me this crap?

And don’t even get me started on the whole “Lafayette is possessed . . . AGAIN” thing . . .

Perhaps, the problem with this season of True Blood simply boils down to “too much of a good thing.”  With so many widely varying storylines, it’s difficult, as a viewer, to  become truly invested in ANY of them, let alone ALL of them.

That’s why, here at TV Recapper’s Anonymous, we’ve come up with a solution to True Blood‘s “excess pounds” problem.  In short, we’ve decided to put True Blood on a character (and storyline) “diet,” by spinning off Bon Temps’ most promising supporting cast members into series of their own.  What follows are five prospective True Blood spinoffs, we think could actually work . . .

Spinoff 1: Fangtasia

Starring:  Kristen Bauer as Vampire Pam, Rutina Wesley as Tara Thornton, Tara Buck as Screaming Ginger, and Jim Parrack as Goofy Fangbanging Hoyt Fortenberry (with regular Special Guest Star Appearances by Alexander Skarsgard, as Viking Vampire Eric Northman)

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Tagline: “Because you wanna go where no one gives a sh*t what your name is, but everyone knows your blood type.”

Why we think it could work as a standalone series: Let’s face it, everybody loves Pam.  She’s got the perfect mixture of calculating coolness, snarky one-liners, and lethal killer instincts to carry her own series.  For me, she embodies what True Blood used to be: sexy, dark, violent, funny, and FUN!

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, especially given all the flack I’ve given the Tara character over the years for being whiny and annoying, but Pam’s and Tara’s newfound progeny / maker relationship is one of the high points of this season.

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A series starring these two could really explore this twisted version of the accidental mother / damaged rebellious child story, in all its hilariously angsty glory.

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Plus, let’s not forget the bar, itself.  True Blood has spent a lot of screen time at Merlotte’s these past few seasons.  And, don’t get me wrong, that’s great!  But I can’t help but feel like Fangtasia has been treated like the red-headed vampire stepchild in all this.

I want to learn more about this cool, yet, at the same time, tacky in its commercialism, fangbanging establishment.  What are the other vampires like who who work there: the waiters, the bartenders, the bouncers, the “exotic dancers?”  Do only tourists frequent the place, or does it cater to a certain more “regular” clientele?  And, perhaps, most importantly, doesn’t Ginger ever lose her voice from all that screaming?

Spinoff 2: CSI – Bon Temps

Starring: Chris Bauer as Andy Bellefleur, Ryan Kwanten as Jason Stackhouse, with regular Special Guest Star Appearances by Anna Paquin as Sookie Stackhouse

Tagline: “Because investigating human crimes is for pussies!”

Why we think it could work as a standalone series:  Who doesn’t enjoy a good crime procedural show?  OK, I’ll admit it.  I don’t . . . at least, not usually.

But think of all the really gnarly crime possibilities that might exist, when you aren’t limited to the “natural world.”  Vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, witches, lfrites,  fairies, maenads . . . these are some killers, who could really f*&k you, if they’re  having a bad day.

And yet, even viewing really grotesque bloody human remains week, after week, would start to lose its luster, after four of five episodes, without some really solid characters to back it up.  That’s where Andy and Jason come in!

These two have the ultimate buddy cop bromance going on!  Chris Bauer is perfection as the old-school jaded cop, with a  secret soft spot for his rookie partner.

And as for Ryan Kwanten’s Jason, well, we all know he’s the perfect man child, one who’s never afraid to bring the funny at his own expense.  He’s also not afraid to show some skin, which, of course would be a requirement for his character, at least twice each episode.

Spinoff 3: Kid Wolf

Starring: Chloe Noelle as Mini Wolf Emma Garza, a bunch of other adorable child stars, with Sam Trammell, as doting foster dad, Sam Merlotte, with regular Special Guest Star Appearances by Joe Manganiello, as Sam Merlotte’s (always shirtless) handyman, and Emma’s “Werewolf Advisor”

Tagline: “She’d play well with others, if she could just stop biting their heads off first . . .”

Why we think it could work as a standalone series:  Up until recently, when most of us thought of True Blood the first thing that came to mind wasn’t usually “family-friendly kid show.”  That was before this . . .

I mean, seriously, it’s so cute, it’s almost nauseating!  I’m thinking a sitcom about a seemingly normal orphaned school girl (Yeah, I killed off Luna.  Got a problem with that?) . . .

. . . who,  along with her adoring stepdad, is forced tohide a “deep dark secret”:   She occasionally morphs into a werewolf.

This could make seemingly “normal” little kid things, like snack time, gym class, ballet lessons, birthday parties, and Show-and-Tell time more than a bit complicated . . . but still “adorable,” of course . . .

Well .  . . half of this picture is adorable.

We’re thinking a sitcom for this one . . .

Spinoff #4: A Vampire Girl’s Guide to Dating . . .

Starring: Deborah Ann Woll as Vampire Jessica and a bunch of other 20-something hot actress ingenues, as as her sassy gaggle of vampire and human friends, with regular Special Guest Star Appearances by Ryan Kwanten as ex-boyfriend / friend-with-benefits,  Jason Stackhouse, and Stephen Moyer as doting Vampire Dad, Bill Compton . . .

Tagline: Because being single can suck, whether you’re undead or not . . .

Why we think it might work as a standalone series: Since entering the True Blood character lexicon, late in Season 2, not only has Vampire Jessica become a Bon Temps’ mainstay, she’s also become a favorite among fans, both male and female.

In fact, the character has become so popular, she’s even started her own blog and video series on the perks of being a perpetually young female vampire.

The thing is, we think Vampire Jessica’s video series has the potential to be more than just a blog.  And why not?  It’s awesome!  It’ gets hundreds of thousands of viewers each week, and tons of commenters, all of whom talk to Jessica like she’s a Real Person with Real Problems.

Now, some of you might be thinking . . .dating show = chick show = Sex and the City with Vampires = no thank you.

But I think A Vampire Girl’s Guide to Dating could appeal to a much wider audience.  I mean, think about it, hot girls . . . hot guys . . . humor . . . LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX . . . BITING . . . what’s not to love?

And finally . . .

Spinoff #5 – Steven Newlin, GVA (Gay Vampire American)

Starring: Michael McMillan as Steve Newlin.  DUH!

Tagline:  “Being a religious cult leader bites!  So, now he’s coming out . . . of the coffin.”

Why we think it would work as a series:  You guys remember, Steve, right?  You know, that wackadoo religious cult leader, with the hot wife, who tried to shoot Jason in the head, and almost blew up Eric Northman, and all his vampire friends?

Yeah, not exactly the kind of guy you’d want to bring along to your raging keg party.  Of course, that was before some wise soul decided to turn ole Steve-o into the Most Awesome Vampire Ever!

Now, the former religious nutbar is a Bill Cosby-sweater wearing,  nerdy dancing, Jason Stackhouse-loving,  gay ball of fun.

And I (no, not “we” this time, just “me”) want him to have a show of his very own?  Got a problem with that?

I didn’t think so . . .

So, there you have it, five True Blood spinoffs I might enjoy watching more than Season Five.  What would you rather watch?

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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Bon Temps Regurgitated – A Recap of “Let’s Boot and Rally!”

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Boot and Rally, Fangbangers!  It’s the mantra of champion partiers the world over.  After all, everyone knows that the harder you party, the greater the chance that your “fun” is going to come back and haunt you . . . one way or the other.

But the strong among us are the ones that can take a beating, dust ourselves off (rinse out our mouths, if necessary), and head right back out on the proverbial dance floor to do it all over again.

At least, I call that strong.   Others might call that stupidity . . . or alcoholism . . . whatever.

Anyway, this week’s episode of True Blood was all about the various ways in which people’s past can come back to haunt them.  It also explored how some of our favorite (and a few of our not-so- favorite) characters coped with these “haunting” experiences.

But enough philosophizing, let’s boot and rally on to another TB-cap!

REVENGE of the Orange Marzipan

When we last left our heroine Sookie Stackhouse, she was grinding her ridiculously drunk ass all over Alcide man candy, and cleaning his werewolf fangs with her tongue.

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Meanwhile, Ambiguously Gay Vampire Duo Bill and Eric stood outside Sookie’s window . . . watching.  (Quality Vampire Porn must be real hard to come by in Bon Temps, if even the King of Louisiana has to improvise.)

Eventually, Sookie and Alcide decide to move this party upstairs.  Sookie hitches a ride on Alcide’s massive torso, and up to the bedroom they go!

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Now, whether or not you’re a fan of Sookie and Alcide as a couple, you have to admit, this scene was pretty f*&king awesome.  There were grunts, groans, grinds, and kisses from both parties, and Alcide did this thing with his belt that had to be the best free advertisement for the Magic Mike movie I’ve ever seen.

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Then, Alcide whispers in Sookie’s ear that he’s “waited so long for this.”  And really, what girl doesn’t want to hear that, pre-coitus?

Sookie’s response?  Let’s just say it was explosive . . .

And now for the super slow-mo instant replay . . .

Oh, it’s SO over!  Eric and Bill are upstairs in a flash, for the post-game wrap up.

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Alcide thought he was getting laid tonight.   Instead, he got a pair of shoes that will match nicely with a pair of khakis, if he ever decides to wear them . . . (Alcide always seemed like more of a jeans and flannel guy to me.)

Downstairs in the kitchen, a still drunk Sookie is just finding it absolutely hilarious that her two ex-boyfriends have interrupted her sexcapades for yet another Vampire Investigation Mission.

She’s game, though!  Talk about a boot and rally.  Sookie’s so eager to get started on her mission, she can’t even be bothered to properly open her front door!

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 (I almost forgot that Tara broke that last week.  I wonder if Sookie’s homeowner’s insurance policy covers “Vampire Temper Tantrums” . . .)

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Meanwhile, in some random bunker .  . .

REVENGE of the . . . um . . . Evil Fire Thingy?

Terry and Noel from Felicity have been tied up by their wackjob comrade, who keeps babbling on and on about something called a “lfrite.”  Apparently, it’s like this Vengeance Fire Demon or something.  Wackjob Comrade says the “lfrite” is out to get Terry and his buddies, because of all those people they torched during the war.  Personally, I’m kind of hoping the lfrite goes ahead and takes vengeance on this lame storyline, by burning it to the ground.  But for now, it just takes Wackjob Comrade, while Terry and Noel from Felicity live to “lfrite” another day . . .

In other news . . .

REVENGE of . . . Jesus’ Head?

Lafayette is sad, because that weird party mask from last season, keeps making him do BAAAAD things, like almost put bleach in the soup at Bon Temps, and cut the breaks on Sookie’s car.  (Quite the kidder, that Weird Party Mask!)

So, Lafayette does what many people would do in this situation.  He prays to Jesus . . .

. . . well, not THAT Jesus .  . . although he was standing in front of a statue of HIM when he said the prayer.  THIS Jesus . . .

You know, the one Lafayette sort of / kind of killed last season, while under the influence of yet another dark force?  “Show me a sign that you hear me!”  Lafayette pleads.

Jesus does his former beau one better.  He gives him head . . . literally.  

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Now, that’s what I call a good boyfriend!

REVENGE of  . . . that Annoying Authority Storyline

In the immortal words of Vampire Pam, “Blah, blah, blah . . . Blood of Lilith, Blah.”

Christopher Meloni is trying to rally his troops against the imminent uprising of the Sanguinistas,  who may or may not be led by Eric’s hot but crazy sister, Nora, who’s spent the past three episodes or so, doing nothing but rocking back and forth on her knees, screaming and curling up in a fetal position.

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 (The character had such a promising start too!)

But personally, my money is on Salome being the REAL woman behind the rebellion / freeing Russell from his cement jail cell.

My favorite part of this whole Authority Storyline was when Mac from Veronica Mars called Bill and Eric to tell them she had activated the blow-up device on their leather S&M jock straps.

Why was that my favorite?  Because Mac from Veronica Mars is funny, and so are leather S&M jock straps, at least I think they are . . .

REVENGE of the Shapeshifter Haters with the Funny Masks

Ruh-roh, Scooby Doo!  There appears to be a gang of Supernatural Creature Killers on the loose, who keep offing all of Sam’s shifter buddies! (Man!  Sam’s pals and f*&k buddies just seem to drop like flies, every single season.  Remind me to un-friend him on Facebook . . .)

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Back in Season 1, we didn’t get to find out who the serial killer was,  until the second-to-last episode.

But this time around, these chumps are driving around out in the open with their stupid masks, like it’s friggin Mardis Gras.  They shoot both Luna and Sam, as a petrified Emma shifts into a baby wolf and skitters away.  I’m going to take a wild guess and say that Luna’s dead and Sam’s not . . . which means Sam’s probably going to adopt Emma, which means a lot more screen time for the child actress.  But hey, at least wolf girl is better than that vampire kid, right?

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Anything is better than that vampire kid . . .

REVENGE of Fangbanging Hoyt

One thing True Blood has always been missing is evidence of solid girl bonding.  I mean sure, Sookie and Tara were “best friends.”  But lets face it, they spent half of the screen time they spent together,  crying, yelling and screaming, usually at one another.

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After all, Tara isn’t exactly the kind of girlfriend you invite over for to watch a Ryan Gosling Movie Marathon, talk about boys, and dance around the room with, while you’re singing into your hairbrush.

But Vampire Jess is definitely that kind of girl, which was why it was so cool to see her take Tara under her wing, and show her all the awesome things the vampire world has to offer.

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And wouldn’t you know it, girlfriend even made Tara crack a smile or too, which is probably the most shocking thing I’ve seen in four plus seasons of True Blood.

Then, stupid Hoyt had to go f*&k everything up with his lame 80’s rocker clothes, and new-found fangbanging ways.  Damn, The Man!  Remember back when this was a REALLY likeable character?

That seems like ages ago, now!  Mama Fortenberry would definitely not approve!

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Tinkerbell’s REVENGE

Thank you, Fairies, for making Jason naked again . . .

. . . and for that weird (but oddly captivating) dream sequence where he wore He-man footy pajamas, and his mom told him to go get a blow job, because it “always makes him feel better.”

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You are officially, my heroes!

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Speaking of naked, Andy Bellefleur spent a second episode of the season in his birthday suit, thereby making him officially nude more than ERIC NORTHMAN, this season.

Not cool . . . Alan Ball . . . not cool at all . . .

And the moment you’ve all been waiting for . . .

The Return of Russell Edgington!

With the help of an extra large coffee and some Nutter Butters, Hangover! Sookie successfully un-glamored Alcide’s employee, simply by holding and fondling his hand a few times.  Now, that’s impressive (as were the hilariously petrified expressions the guy was making throughout the entire episode — LOVED HIM)!  Somehow or other this brings Sookie (her HAREM of men in tow) to the creepy old abandoned insane asylum where Russell Edgington has been biding his time, while his burnt up nasty face reforms.  The endless buffet of human shishkabobs certainly doesn’t hurt.

The episode ends with a final triumphant showdown between Big Bad Russell (who’s still looking a bit too feeble old mannish to be believable as genuine threat) . . .

Source

 . . . and one delicious Viking Vamp.

Vampire Househusbands of Bon Temps – The Reunion Special

Color me intrigued!  Until next time, Fangbangers!

[www.juliekushner.com][Fangirls Forever]

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