Tag Archives: Eric kills Talbot

Battle of the Bad Boy Vampires: Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries) versus Eric Northman (True Blood)

Those of you who know me and/or have read this blog before, probably suspected that the time would come when I would write a post that pit my two favorite television vampires (both of whom are based on characters fromnovels) against one another . . .

But WAIT!  Before you stake me, or snap my neck like a twig, please know that this is REALLY not a competition, in the traditional sense of the term.  I merely aim to illustrate some similarities between these two extremely unique and dynamic fangsters . . .

(But, before I begin, I’d like to give a shout out to the Always Brilliant Amy, over at imaginarymen, who remains the reigning queen and founder of the TV Boyfriend Olympics.  Without her, this post would never have been written.  Additional thanks go out to the Fabulous Cherie, over at myspideysenseistingling, and the Remarkable Madeleine, both of whom have a depth of vampiric fangirl capacity that knows no bounds.)

Above all else, Viking Vampire, Eric Northman, and Fangy Rebel Without a Cause, Damon Salvatore, are both EXTREMELY SEXY!  In fact, they are unequivocally sexy, no matter what they happen to be doing, at any given moment.  Whether they are . . .

 .  . . preparing for war . . .

 . . . or lounging around in bed . . .

. . . or driving around in hot super expensive sports cars, with the top down . . .

 . . . or having a little “snack” . . .

 . . . or forgetting how to button their shirts . . .

 . . . or getting dressed up for a night on the town . . .

 . . . or breaking in their new leather jackets . . .

. . . or wearing certain BLUE PANTY DROPPER articles of clothing 😉 . . .

 . . . rest assured these immortal beings are going to be looking hot, while they are doing it.

And yet, being an INSANELY AWESOME Television Vampires isn’t just about looking good.  (That’s most of it . . . of course . . . but not all of it. ;)) To be truly insanely awesome, you’ve also got to have the personality to match the looks.    And for both Eric and Damon, a fun and snarky sense of humor functions as the perfect accessory to any item of clothing (or, no clothing at all, for that matter)!

Behold . . . the funny .  . .

(Don’t worry!  I’m not playing favorites, by using a longer video for Eric than for Damon.  I just take them, as I find them!)

So, now we’ve got a handle on their looks, and their respective senses of humor.  But if you want to learn what REALLY make Damon Salvatore and Eric Northman tick, you’ve really got to watch them in action.  What follows is a comparison study of fourteen (seven a piece) arguably similar Damon and Eric scenes from their respective shows .  . .

(Note: For clips that are non-embedded, just click the internal links for your viewing pleasure!)

Let’s BITE into it, shall we?

Romantic Manipulation

In the REAL WORLD, when you look like Ian Somerhalder or Alexander Skarsgard, NO fancy hypnotic magic, or blood bonds are necessary to ensure romance.  When you want to get laid . . . all you’ve got to do is ASK!  But in TV Land, virtually EVERYONE is beautiful, and girls can be (no offense to Elena and Sookie) kind of dense, sometimes.  For this reason, both of our Bad Boy Vamps, at least initially, used vampire magic to add a little OOMPH to their respective courtship rituals .  . . with varying results.

First up is Damon, and his attempt to mesmerize Elena — the number one object of his affections — to make out with him.  The “mesmerizing” part seems to work . . . (She’s not BLIND, after all!).  But the “making out” part . . . well . . . not so much.  Because what Damon doesn’t know is that Elena is wearing a vervain necklace, which makes her impervious to vampire mind control.  He gets an “A” for effort, though!

Eric Northman had slightly better luck with Sookie, when he tricked her into drinking his blood, thereby establishing a Blood Bond between the pair.  As a result of the Blood Bond, Sookie will have uncontrolled sexual dreams about Eric (I have those ALL THE TIME!).  He will also always be able to sense her feelings (like, when she’s horny, for example ;)), and instinctively know when she’s in danger (so he can rescue her).  Well played, Viking Vamp!

 

Dream Walking (a.k.a. Inception – Vampire Style)

So, by now, we’ve all probably seen, or at least heard about the film, Inception, and its erudite discussions about one’s ability to manipulate the dreams of another. 

In TVD world, vampires are capable of controlling other’s dreams, Inception style, as Damon does in this next clip.  (Hint: We know it was Damon making Elena’s dream, based on his creepy crow mascot hanging out by her bedroom window, near the end of the scene.  By the way, I’m SO GLAD the writers nixed that lame plot device!)

In True Blood, sexual vampire dreams tend to stem from the blood bonds between human and vampire.  Never do the writers of True Blood ever explicitly mention dream manipulation.  And yet, in this next clip, Sookie clearly KNOWS that she’s dreaming, and Eric does appear to be purposefully using the dream to send her an important message.  This particular dream scene may also give you a little sense of deja vu, when you watch a similar REAL LIFE (well . . . real TV life . . . at least) scene that takes place between the two characters, later on in this post.

(Note:  This is actually just one of THREE dreams Sookie has about Eric, and it’s not even the HOTTEST one.  I simply chose it to make a point about Damon and Eric both using Dream Manipulation Tactics on Sookie and Elena.  You can watch Sookie’s other dreams about Eric here.)

 

Murder By Seduction

Of course, Damon and Eric would never WILLINGLY hurt the women they love.  But they don’t seem to mind hurting others all that much . . .

In this next clip, Damon lures the unsuspecting Vicki Donovan into his lair, plies her with liquor, sexy dancing, and promises of genuine understanding and affection.  And then . . . well . . . I’ll just let you watch, and see for yourselves.

Though Damon’s motives for “murdering” Vicki Donovan were never made entirely clear, during the series, one suspects they had something to do with Damon wanting to wreak havoc on his little brother’s life.  (Damon promised to make Stefan’s life an unliving hell, after the latter coerced him into becoming a vampire, seemingly against his will).  Damon eventually “revived” Vicki from death, by turning her into a vampire, shortly after initially killing her.  Ironically enough, it was at the hands of STEFAN that Vicki met her True Death.

This picture SHOULDN’T be funny . . .  but it kind of is!

Likewise, Eric seduces and ultimately murders Vampire Talbot, to wreak havoc on Vampire King Russell Edgington’s life.  Eric seeks vengeance against Russell, for murdering his parents, centuries ago.  You see, Talbot is Russell’s “soulmate.”  Though, as you will clearly see in the next clip, vampires and monogamy don’t exactly mix . . .

(Note:  This clip is DIRTY with a capital “D.”  Parental discretion is advised, KIDDIES!  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

 

Hot Bod Taunting

“When you’ve got it, flaunt it!”  These are words to live by . . . even if you’re undead!  And Damon and Eric have NO qualms about displaying their “wares” to the women they love, in order to show them EXACTLY what they are missing . . .

In this next scene, Damon might be drunk, but he’s NO dummy!  He knows that, once Elena gets close enough to him to button up his strategically opened shirt, she will get a peek at those abs, a whiff of that vampire man musk, and be his forever.  Even if she doesn’t know it yet . . .

As for Eric, he takes Hot Bod Taunting to a whole other level!  Unlike Damon, who tactfully alludes to the fact that he’s a Lion in the Sack, Eric wears his HOURS and HOURS of nonstop Sexual Conquesting like a badge of honor . . . one located right below his belly button . . .

 

Vulnerability Due to Loss of “Maker”

Damon may be head over heels in love with Elena now, but for about 140 years, he loved her doppelganger Katherine, the woman who initially turned him into a vampire.  Damon loved Katherine so much, in fact that he risked everything to “rescue” her from the tomb in which he thought she was buried undead.  So, when the tomb was opened, and Katherine was still nowhere to be found, Damon was heartbroken.  It was the first time in the series, where we really saw this tough-as-nails vampire break down emotionally.  And when he needed a shoulder to cry on, Elena’s was the first one he sought . . .

Unlike Damon, Eric may have never done the horizontal mambo with his maker, Godric (at least, not that we know of).  But he did love him, in the way that a father loves his son.  And when Godric “met the sun” (i.e. committed suicide by burning to death) Eric felt completely lost.  For the first time in the series, the Viking Vamp cried tears of blood.  Eric was inconsolate over the True Death of Godric.  Without Sookie there to support him, who knows what self-destructive acts he might have committed?

Romantic Gestures with BITE!

Who said bloodsuckers couldn’t be romantic?  Let’s face it! When guys have been on this earth for as long as Damon and Eric have been, they KNOW when they are in love.  And they are NOT afraid to show it.

In the episode Rose, Damon has just rescued Elena from an Evil Old Vampire who kidnapped her.  He also retrieved from said Evil Old Vampire her precious vervain necklace, which protects her from vampiric compulsion.  When Damon visits to Elena’s home to return the necklace, he decides that this is the perfect moment to let Elena know exactly how he feels about her. 

Sounds simple, right?  It isn’t . . . Because Damon knows better than anyone, that True Love sometimes requires us to make the most painful of sacrifices.

Eric Northman knows a thing or two about sacrifices, himself!  After all, he’s willing to DIE the True Death, in order to rid the world of the PURE EVIL that is Russell Edgington.   When you are about to die, the things that are most important to you, suddenly become crystal clear.  And nothing else matters. 

Remember when I showed you that Dream Scene between Sookie and Eric?  Well . . . IT’S BACK . . . for real, this time!

Rescuing the Woman He Loves . . . For Her OWN GOOD . . . Whether She Wants It Or NOT!

As a member of the fairer sex, I can admit, that us ladies can be pretty stubborn when we want to be — especially when we feel strong enough about something, that we are willing to fight to the death for it.  And while, most of the time, we are ABSOLUTELY right . . . there are sometimes (very rarely, of course ;)) when we are wrong.  Enter the Hot Vampires with Hero Complexes to rescue us . . . even if they have to drag us away, kicking and screaming, in order to do it . . .

In this next clip, Elena has set off on a Suicide Mission.  She plans to turn herself over to an EVIL HOMICIDAL VAMPIRE, in order to save the lives of the people she loves.  But Damon loves HER . . . and he’s not having it . . . AT ALL!

Like Elena Gilbert, Sookie Stackhouse always seems to be throwing herself into harms way.  But she doesn’t have to go far from home to find trouble.  It usually just knocks on the door, and comes right in!  In this particular instance, Sookie is unwittingly being stalked by some Killer Werewolves.  It’s a good thing her Friendly Neighborhood Vampire  is available to help her in her time of need (even if she would rather talk about Boring Vampire Beeeel, than do important things . . . like NOT GET EATEN)!

So, there you have it: seven situations and fourteen sexy scenes to compare and contrast.  Not bad, for a pair of undead bloodsuckers, right?

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under Alexander Skarsgard, Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries, True Blood

The Girl Who Cried Wolf (and Beeeeeeeelllll!) – A Recap of True Blood’s “Night on the Sun”

Aww, don’t cry, Sookie!  You’ll get to eat your Taco Beeeeelll soon enough.

Bite me, Sookeh!

For me, this week’s installment of True Blood can really be broken down into two parts:  the touchy feely, first part, where the entire cast had a good cry, conquered their nightmares, and got in touch with their respective femine sides; and the AWESOME second part, where everybody went commando (in more ways then one!), got dirty, fought, screwed and killed, one another (usually in that order).

That being said, there was ONE part of the second half of this week’s True Blood that truly saddened me . . .

No!  I’m not talking about the absence of Lorena and her Ribcage Hat (though that saddened me too)!  I’m talking about the loss of someone VERY special.

Dear sweet, Talbot!  Oh, how I’ll miss your zany temper tantrums and scrumptious blood gelato!

On that sad note, what do you say, we all dry our tears, and get on with this recap.  This way, we can get to the good stuff (a.k.a. the killing and screwing) faster?  Talbot would have wanted it that way . . .

“Sookie, are you brain damaged?”

“Well, gosh, Jason!  I don’t know.  Why don’t you ask my boyfriend who I took back for a good lay, after he dumped me, screwed a crazy b&tch vampire behind my back, and drained me of all my blood, nearly killing me?” 

“Well, seeing as I only drained her neck and chest, her brain should be pretty much in tact.  Then again, she does share some of your genes, Jason . . . and she did take my lame ass back at the end of the episode.  So, who knows?”

This episode pretty much begins where the last one left off.  Sookie is screaming her head off at the sight of Taco Bill, who has just saved her life by inserting some of his blood into her hospital IV.  (Nevermind the fact, that she wouldn’t even BE in the hospital if it wasn’t for him!) 

While Jason is pondering his sister’s post-accident “lack of intelligence” (pot calling kettle much?),  Alcide immediately jumps in to defend Sookie from Bill.  And it is SUPER hot!  “I don’t take orders from VAMPS!”  The big meaty hunk of man answers, after the scrawny pale-faced Vampire Bill tells him to sit down.

Please allow me a moment to retrieve my panties from the floor . . .

(Don’t get me wrong.  I always have been, and always will be, a Team Eric member.  But would a short-term stopover at Sexy Alcide be such a bad thing?  I think not!  After all, our Sookie has all eternity to spend with the Big Viking.  And as for Alcide?  Well, even the shortest of flings can seem like a long happy marriage in DOG YEARS!)

Cake topper for the Herveaux – Stackhouse Wedding. 

Once everybody has calmed down a bit, Sookie asks to speak with Dollar Menu Item Bill alone.  The gang reluctantly leave the room.  Two of the world’s smallest violins begin to play simultaneously, as these two perform their respective “It’s not you, it’s me,” breakup monologues.

 

“From the day we met, it’s been one big bloody fight,” blubbers Sookie, snot running attractively from her nose.  “I keep waiting for it to be normal, but you keep giving me indigestion with your fake meat, Taco Man  it’s never going to be normal with us, is it?”

“I want you to have the life you deserve, and I can’t give it to you,” whines Bill, his mascara bloody tears running down his cheeks, making him look a bit like this  . . .

 . . . give or take 100 years . . .

With nothing left to say, Bill removes the IV from his hand, and exits the hospital, leaving a hysterical Sookie in his wake, and and open IV tube dripping V on the floor . . .

“Sookie, may I clean your floor with my tongue?”

“They killed my COOTER!”

“Gourmet, it isn’t.   But it sure beats Taco Beeeeellll!”

“In more ways than one . . .”

Speaking of the now Cooter-less, Trash O’Deb, she is back at Russell’s mansion, begging the Big Gay Vampire King of Mississippi for the opportunity to seek vengeance on Sookie for butchering her private par . . . um . . . boyfriend.  Unfortunately, Big Gay Russell already has his hands full.  Upon marrying Russell, Queen Sophie Anne has decided to move into his mansion, along with, her girl toy Hadley, and all of their personal belongings.  This was a TERRIBLE choice, in my opinion.  After all, Sophie’s Anne’s original digs seemed significantly larger and WAY more impressive than Russell’s . . .

 .  . . no offense, Talbot.

Speaking of Talbot, he is none too pleased about these new living arrangements.  Nor is he happy with the news that Russell murdered the magister, or that Kingy will once again be leaving the castle, this time to hunt down Sookie Glow Fingers.  Fortunately for Talbot (or, unfortunately, as we will see later), Eric has returned, to save the day, his blue panty dropper sweater, only slightly soiled with bits of Magister brain . . .

 . . . which is precisely why I told him to take it off . . .

“I’ll keep Talbot company,” offers Eric.

But Vampire Russell is still skeptical (as it turns out, with good reason).  He is not sure he can trust the Sexy Viking.

So, Vampire Eric launches into the world’s sappiest, most over dramatic, faux Shakespearean monologue of all time.  While on his knees, no less, Eric waxes poetic about how Russell is the true leader he’s been waiting for for a thousand years, and how much he wants to serve him, and blah, blah, blah .  . .  I just threw up in my mouth a little thinking about it.

But, apparently, Big Gay King Russell has an ego the size of Mississippi.  This Idiot actually buys all of Eric’s crap, and promptly heads on his merry way over to Bon Temps.  That night, Eric, who LUUUUUUVES Sookie . . .

 (even though he has pretended not to and been a total tool to her for the past couple of episodes)  . . . promptly sends her a warning message, overnight delivery, by Fedex, Sookie’s cousin, Hadley.

The message:  “Russell is coming.  Don’t trust Beeeeeeeell!”

Sookie is happy to see her cousin, but assumes there’s not much she can do about Russell coming, because whereever she goes, he’s probably going to find her anyway.  As Hadley rushes from Sookie’s house, Sookie overhears through Hadley’s thoughts that Russell and Eric now know what Sookie is . . . even though Sookie still thinks she’s an alien.

Soo-kie phone home!

“If I was smart, I would have fallen in love with someone like you [Alcide].”

“Damn straight, Glow Fingers!”

While Eric is protecting Sookie’s interests across statelines, her harem of men is doing the same thing at home.  BFFs Andy and Jason, the best 1 and 1/2 cop duo around, arrive at Sookie house immediately after she was released from the hospital, with offers to press charges against Burrito Brain Bill, for deflating her like a popped balloon . . .

“Why does it suddenly smell like tacos in here?  Must be Sookie’s new blood.”

When Sookie refuses to press charges, like the futured battered wife she is (“He didn’t mean it!”  She coos.), Andy and Jason leave, but not before Jason vows to go all Rambo on Vampire Bill’s ass!

“Welcome to the Gun Show, Breakfast Burrito!”

Alcide wants to stay and protect Sookie too, but he has to go back to Jackson because his character wasn’t officially made into a series regular until Season 4 he needs to protect his family from Trailer Trash Debbie.

Sigh!

“Sookie, you are tougher than a one-eared alley cat,” he begins . . .  (Ummm, you may be hot Alcide, but you sure are BAD at coming up with analogies.  And I’m not the only one who thinks so . . .)

Alcide, I think you’ve made it angry . . .

“I just hate to leave you alone, during all this,” Alcide concludes, brushing his hands lovingly across Sookie’s face, and running his fingers through her hair, as she gazes dreamily into his eyes.  (MAN!  I’m jealous!  Now I know how Trailer Trash Debbie feels!)

Following Tara’s request that Alcide “flirt some sense into her” . . .

“And all these seasons, you thought I was a sh*tty friend!  I’m trying to get you laid by a non-corpse, Sookie!  That’s love!”

Alcide returns for a quickie to Sookie’s house to say goodbye.  After admitting that they would be better off together then with the blood drinking wackadoos they both love currently, the almost-couple share an almost-kiss that.  Said almost-kiss, in my opinion, is ten times hotter than the porn fest Sookie engages in with Taco Bill, at the end of the episode.

And then he leaves . . .

“See you in your dreams!”

Speaking of Sookie’s friend, Tara, she’s been suffering a bit of that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, her cousin Lafayette endured during Season 2.  She refuses to talk to anyone about being kidnapped by Franklin Mott; or how he almost made her into his Vampire Bride; or how she made HIM into chop suey (or taco meat, whichever you prefer) . . .

Hungry for some Mott’s?

Tara’s nightmares about Franklin range from the pornographic to the violent . . .

 . . . just like Franklin, himself.

“That’s my baby inside of you.”

Tara isn’t the only one having “killer” dreams, Arlene was having them too, only her dreams starred her former fiance, and Season 1’s Big Bad Serial Killer with the kickass fake Cajun accent, Rene Lenier.  “I came to see my baby.  It has my blood, my genes,” taunts Dream Renee, as he ogles Arlene’s near-naked body.    When we found out the baby wasn’t Terry’s a few episodes back, we all assumed it was Renee’s.  Now we know for sure (sort of). 

Once he had successfully frightened the stuffing out of Arlene, Dream Renee woke her up by gently caressing her neck, just like THIS . . .

Arlene’s new choker necklace.

Do you think they test for the “serial killer gene” during an amniocentesis?  For Arlene’s sake, I sure hope so!

“Good riddens, Mommy Mickens!”

In Sam’s trailer trash family news, Sam’s annoying Bio Mom showed up on his porch naked . . .

 .  . . to retrieve her belongings and beg her elder son for money.

Then she left, and Tommy Boy cried . . .

Sorry, wrong Tommy Boy . . . 

THIS GUY cried at the loss of Mommy Mickens.  But True Blood fans did this . . .

Later that evening, little Tommy Mickens made me like him less, by picking on sweet adorable Hoyt . . .

. . . and threatening to kick his ass, for no other reason than that Hoyt used to date Jessica, who Tommy apparently has a crush on.  “She’s got a REAL MAN, now!”  Tommy insists, implying himself.

(Ummm .  . . really?  Maybe you’re a big tough guy in the DOG HOUSE, Tommy, but in the real world, you’re kind of short.  And you look about twelve.  Just saying . . .)

Sam tries to set Tommy right, and get him to start thinking about his future.  But Tommy is cranky and just wants his dog bone.

Chew slow Tommy.  Because THIS is the closest you are going to get to being BONED for a LONG TIME!

“I release you!”

“Cowardly Vampire say what?”

While Sam is working hard to be the father Tommy never had, Vampire Bill is busy treating Jessica like she never HAD a Vampire Father / Maker.   Upon returning home, following a long stay in Jackson, Mississippi, Bill is greeted with open arms by Vampire Jessica.  He rejects her affections almost immediately.  “You can’t stay here.   I can’t look after you, anymore.  I’m no good,”  Bill whines . . .

And there go those violins again . . .

But Jessica refuses to leave.  She explains to Bill how she had lost control and killed that human a little while back, and how she needs Bill’s help to control her vampiric instincts.  (Not that Mr. Messy Sookie Eater is such a good role model in the “self control” department.)

“I’ll go back on my diet, tomorrow.  I promise!”

Jess and Bill then bond over the fact that they have both broken up with the people they love (Hoyt and Sookie, respectively), because they feel they are not good enough to deserve these special humans.  HALF of them are right.  Bet you can’t guess, which half?

Eventually, the two hug it out, and Bill decides to let his “ward” stick around.  He also gives her a little lesson on fighting werewolves .  . . werewolves that will HOPEFULLY look nothing like THIS . . .

Jason Stackhouse is in LOVE . . .

 . . . and so are we . . .

While Bill is teaching Jessica how to fight off werewolves, Jason is working to fight off, whatever the heck it is that Crystal’s family IS.   (If you’ve read the books, you already know.)  Jason is at home, gearing up to kill Bill  . . .

 .  . . for what he did to Sookie, when he is interrupted by a knock on his door.  It’s THIS GIRL!

 . . . except she’s all wet and has this gross bloody eye.  Crystal claims she is being chased down by the members of her community, particularly, Felton, her arranged marriage partner, and future abusive husband.  To get away, she needs Jason’s van.  But Jason gives her his c*ck instead. 

A fair trade, if you ask me . . .

Crystal admits that Felton gave her the bloody eye, when she told him she didn’t want to marry him anymore.  This excites Jason immensely, who sees lots more bunny screwing for him and Crystal, in the near future . . .

However, since he DID promise to protect Crystal and not just f*ck her, Jason heads down to her trailer park to set things right.  There he meets the head of the trailer park, Calvin who more or less threatens his life . . .  I hope all those guns of yours are loaded, Mr. Stackhouse, because you are WAY too pretty to die!

“You are a powerful man.  I need to protect you.”

Now, I don’t know about you, but nothing makes ME feel safer than when a crazy lady waves a steak knife in my face . . .

You know who else should be investing in some weaponry to protect himself?  Lafayette.  Our favorite fry cook / V dealer came home from an evening of babysitting Sookie Glow Fingers and PTSD Tara, to find his schizophrenic nutjob of a mom wandering his house, and babbling on about protecting her son from the vampires and other supernatural creatures.  She escaped the mental institution to rescue Lafayette, because of how “powerful” he is.  And when she says powerful, she must mean “powerful in bed,” because moments later, THIS GUY shows up . . .

Sorry, wrong Jesus.  THIS GUY . . .

Jesus wishes to retrive Lafayette’s mother, and return her to the loony bin where she clearly belongs.  The pair chat some more about how bad it is that Lafayette deals V.  But before you know it, the two of them are going at it like rabbits . . .

“I’m bored.   Take off your clothes.”

“Going at it like bunnies.”  That was exactly what Talbot wanted to do with Vampire Eric, when he got tired of playing chess with him.  “I’m bored.  Take off your clothes,” demands Talbot, like the simpering toddler he is.

Eric complies, feigning a bit of shyness as he removes his Panty Dropper Blue Sweater.  “I’ve never done this before,” admits Eric.

“With another man?”  Talbot asks.

“No with another vampire,” replies Eric.

The two start “riding the pony” . . .

 . . . and getting comfortable with one another, when Eric finally urges Talbot to lay down on his stomach.  When Talbot complies, Eric stakes the poor bastard, but not before dramatically monologuing so that the poor schlub is absolutely certain he is about to meet his maker .  . . his OTHER maker.  “King Russell, you killed my family, and now I am going to kill yours,” yells Eric, as he plunges a stake into Talbots back repeatedly and fatally.

“NOOOOOOOO!”  Talbot screamed, just before he died.

“NOOOOOOO!”  TV Recapper screamed, knowing she was out one prospective interior decorator for her future home.

Goodbye, Talbot, you will always be my favorite Mississippi Queen!

But now that Talbot is gone, we must return our focus to Vampire Eric, who is now covered in his blood.  Might I suggest a bath to cleanse you of your sins, Mr Viking?

Or a shower, perhaps?

“Get out of my house, B&TCH!”

In the last few moments of the episode, Trailer Trash Debbie . . .

 .  . . and her werewolf cronies, arrive at Sookies house.   While Sookie LITERALLY wrestles with Debbie on the ground, Vampire Bill and Vampire Jessica arrive on the scene to handle the werewolf cronies.    But just when a proud Vampire Jessica is about to make her first werewolf kill, Big Gay Russell magically appears and grabs her by the neck . . .

“Us vampires travel fast, lots of frequent flier miles.”

Russell offers to give up Vampire Jessica in exchange for Sookie.  Bill is torn, for a moment, between sacrificing his lover and his “child.”  Fortunately, he doesn’t end up having to make this decision, because Jessica gets away, with her werewolf in hot pursuit.   Now evenly matched, Russell and Bill begin to literally fight over Sookie.  Just when it seems as though Bill might be done for, Russell “feels” the death of Talbot, and “flies away.”  No .  . . really.  Debbie then randomly ditches her fight with Sookie too. 

 In the last few seconds, of the episode, Bill and Sookie reunite.  As the credits begin to role, they are screwing hardcore on Sookie’s bedroom floor.  And while the scene is admittedly hotter than that time a dirty naked Bill got down with Sookie on top of some coffins in the cemetery, it still doesn’t quite “do it” for me.

Then again, what do I know?  I’m just a fan.  I can’t always expect to have my Taco Beeelll, and eat it too . . .

[www.juliekushner.com]

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Filed under True Blood