Greetings, Werebangers! This week’s episode of Teen Wolf was all about motive. After all, even the most self-righteous of characters can be lured to the proverbial darkside, if given a good enough reason to do so . . .
Of all the episodes of Teen Wolf that have aired so far this season, “Raving” was probably the most chock full of information. We learned a lot this week about the relationship between the kanaima, and its Master. We also got to take a closer look at the kanaima’s victims . . . what ties them together . . . and what they might have done to merit such horrible demises.
And yet, despite all that, the writers STILL somehow managed to give us a genuinely action-packed hour, complete with stellar acting, amazing character moments, and of course, a WHOLE LOTTA STILES!
Color me impressed . . .
So, slip into your party clothes, grab a handful of fairy dust, and try to avoid taking hits off the wolfsbane pipe, because it’s time for another Teen Wolf recap . . .
[As always, special thanks to Andre for all the awesomesauce screencaps you see here. Also, this week’s screencaps all come from two fabulous tumblr sites: teenwolfgifs and allteenwolf. So, feel free to show their owners some love, as well.]
In ‘Da Club
Go Wolf Twins! It’s your birthday! We’re gonna party, like it’s your birthday. We’re going to huff some wolfsbane, like it’s your birthday . . .
Go shorty, it’s your birthday! (But hopefully, not your 24th.) Apparently, there’s some Big Hip Rave in Beacon Hills. And everybody who’s ANYBODY under the age of 25 (and a few people OVER it . . . here’s looking at YOU Grandpa . . . and Creepy Pedo Chemistry Teacher) . . .
. . . is going to be there. This is true, even though admission costs a whopping 75 bucks!
Seriously? Where I come from, all the “good” raves (at least, if you’re into that sort of thing) take place in abandoned warehouses. And the only things you pay for are the glow sticks, cheesy pacifiers, and the bruises you get on your legs, while running away from the cops who just broke up the party . . .
But that’s neither here nor there. What matters here is that it’s been a while since we’ve had a Big Party that literally brings all of our main characters together in one room (remember prom?). And that makes the expectations for this party rather heightened. Did I mention that the kanaima will be in attendance to snuff out yet another unlucky victim?
“Hi! Welcome to my funeral! Admission is $75 . . .”
The victims . . . Stiles and the Sheriff finally manage to draw a few parallels between them. For example, with the exception of the Dawson’s Creek daddy, they are all the same age (24), and all attended Beacon Hills High together in 2006.
Kudos to us TW fans, who picked up on this trend a few weeks ago, back when Hot Black Argent, Sassy Mechanic, and Derek had been the only kanaima targets, aside from Isaac’s dad. (Honestly, I thought the “young married couple” looked a bit “long in the tooth” for 24. But hey . . . life in a trailer park can be tough, I guess.)
is was a hard knock life for us.”
Stiles had also deduced that these folks had been in Mr. Harris’ chemistry class together, which confirmed the latter as a chief suspect for Master . . . at least until that last victim bit it, who wasn’t in his class.
The Sheriff thought her death blew his theory to shreds. However, thanks to a little fancy camera work, WE know that SHE was, in fact, still part of the Class of 2006.
Of course, this begs the obvious question: which member of that Class died in 2006, and HOW?
“I got it! I know who the Kanaima’s Master is! It’s KAISER SOZE!”
We already know from the mythology that the kanaima thrives on vengeance, and will only kill killers (hence, it’s decision to delay the murder of the pregnant woman, until AFTER she gave birth). But how did all of these seemingly unrelated 24-year olds have their hand in the exact same death?
Confused yet? There’s more!
The Puppet Master
OK, I have no clue what that “Are you listening?” poster behind the guys heads has to do with vaccinations. All I know is that I really want one for my bedroom . . .
While Stiles and the Sheriff were focusing in on the kanaima’s victims, Scott, Derek, Isaac and the Vet were more interested in the kanaima himself, and why he might be afraid of water, given that Jackson is Captain of the Swim Team (Of course, he is! Jackson is “Captain of Everything”).
The Vet notes that this has to do with some “merger” of the kanaima’s personality with that of his Master. They can feel eachother’s thoughts and feelings. So, what hurts one, hurts the other. (He even shows us some gnarly bling to illustrate this premise.)
“Hey kids! Check out the earring I’m going to wear with my pirate costume, this Halloween!”
In other words, we’re talking about a two-for-one special on killing Big Bads! Talk about a bargain. (It’s a way better bargain than $75 for a rave ticket. That’s for sure!)
Speaking of the Rave to End All Raves . . .
Isaac gets a two-fist discount.
Finally, Isaac does something RIGHT in this episode of Teen Wolf. Up until now, I’ve felt like pretty much every week, the writers have spent at least some time illustrating how Isaac and Erica are “special needs” wolves. They can’t fight Scott. They can’t fight Derek. They’re outsmarted, and out-maneuvered by Allison. And they are scared sh*tless of Jackson. (Remember, one is an incident, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern. Four = these two are pathetic.)
But they are excellent at sleeping!
And yet the n’er do well Isaac does seem to possess one particular talent: picking on the weak and completely unsuspecting. When Scott and Stiles need a ticket for the “Big Rave” in order for their “Catch Jackson’s Master” plan to work out, Isaac knows exactly to get them what they need, and for a really great price too. FREE!
Two wolfy ass kickings later, Scott and Stiles have their tickets, and Isaac has a goofy grin on his face. Then again, now that you mention it, we never actually got to see Isaac kick those lacrosse players ticket-holding bums. Perhaps, he did something a bit less G-rated to get those tickets, hmm?
The World may never know . . .
In which Allison’s loyalties are divided (for real, this time) . . .
In other news, Allison’s parents might finally be winning the battle for their daughter’s soul . . .
For the longest time on this show, we’ve been told that Allison was “Torn Between Her Hunter Family and Her Wolf” lover. “Who will she choose?” The over dramatic, deep-voiced promo narrator would often ask.
Except, to be honest, most of the time, it never seemed like all that difficult of a choice for Allison.
For one thing, and I know this sounds awful, but Allison never really seemed all that jazzed about her family. I mean, we all know Stiles loves his dad . . .
And Scott loves his mom . . .
But Allison? With the exception of “cool” (Read “CRAZY”) Aunt Kate, the littlest Argent seemed, at best, to tolerate her wacky “fam,” and, at worst, to be just as frightened of them, as the rest of the fandom seems to be. (Though, I have to say, her dad is actually pretty hot!) I never really bought Allison as being particularly “torn” between two loves. It was all Scott, Scott, and . . . wait for it . . . more Scott.
However, that all changed this week. It started when Papa Argent used a little coroner’s office “bonding session” . . .
“Hey Allison! You used to like playing with Barbie’s right? Well, these are life size! I’ll be the wife, you be the husband!”
. . . to coerce Little Argent into (1) fingering Jackson as the Kanaima; and (2) revealing his upcoming attendance at the “Big Rave,” despite the fact that Scott and his new wolf pack had already made their own plans to intercept Jackson there.
“I think I liked Daddy / Daughter bonding time better, when you just tied me to chairs, and threatened my life . . .”
And then came the whole “let’s see other people” talk Allison had with Scott a bit later in the episode . . .
“It’s not you. It’s me. It’s just that I know you’re Team Edward in Twilight. And I really can’t date anyone who isn’t Team Jacob.”
Now, in Scott’s defense, he and Allison had been so sloppy about their “secret relationship” that even a deaf, dumb, and blind guy could probably figure out that they were dating.
And to prove it, Scott had been beaten up by pretty much every single member of the Argent family, ever since his and Allison’s “breakup.”
That said, in terms of Allison’s state of mind, Scott probably picked the absolute WORST time in the world to tell her that he’d be “totally cool” with her “dating” and “making out” with Matt the Creepy Camera Guy. For one thing, it probably made her feel like she was a prostitute and he was her wolfy pimp. For another, Scott’s sudden seeming indifference to Allison’s feelings, had to make her wonder whether her consistent betrayal of her family values for his sake was worth it.
“Silly Scott! And you’re supposed to be the smart one. Oh wait, no your not. Nevermind then.”
Now, if Mama Argent new that THIS was the conversation her daughter was having with a sworn enemy, she probably would have been doing this . . .
Unfortunately, Mama Argent couldn’t HEAR what these two crazy kids were saying to one another, when she spied them talking heatedly in an empty classroom. All she was . . . well . . “the heat.” And so, instead, she looked like this . . .
That’s right, werebangers, Mama Argent is one Scary B*tch! And boy did she prove it, in this week’s episode!
In much kinder and gentler news . . .
Stiles gets a tearjerker and a Dead(?) Tinkerbell moment in the same episode . . .
Good ole, Stiles. Not only is he a fan favorite, because of his tendency to bring the comedy, and awesome one-liners to the series . . . .
. . . he’s also the heart of this whole damn show!
And boy did he show that this week, when the poor guy learned that his father had lost his job as Sheriff, as a result of Stiles’ “bad behavior,” i.e. the “kidnapping of Jackson.”
If only Sheriff Stilinski knew about the whole “lizard thing,” maybe he wouldn’t have to feel so sad . . .
Then again, he’d still probably be out of a job so . . .
But as guilty as Stiles obvious feels about his father’s job loss, he also knows that he has to keep all this supernatural craziness, a secret from his father, in order to protect him . . . or, at least, keep him from looking like a total wackjob in front of his cop buddies . . .
Lest you think that Stiles’ story in “Raving” was all angst and puppy dog tears, he also got to experience some serious Dead Tinkerbell Triumph.
You have no idea what I’m talking about, right?
Allow me to explain . . .
Remember that part in Peter Pan, where everyone thinks Tinkerbell is dead . . . so Peter Pan turns to everyone in the audience as says that “if you clap your hands, and believe in fairies, you can save her.” So, a couple of idiots actually clap (the rest of the audience just stares at the screen, dumbfounded), and, SURPRISE, Tinkerbell is alive again!
Well, that’s kind of what happened to Stiles, this week . . .
You see, thanks to our good friend The Vet, our wolf pack had a seemingly foolproof plan to trap Jackson / the kanaima / and his Mystery master all in the same confined space, using a bit of intravenous drugs, and some Magic Fairy Dust . . . I’m sorry . . . I meant “mountain ash.”
“Oh this? This is just body glitter . . . for the rave!”
However, in order for the plan to work, Jackson needed to be trapped inside the Rave. And, in order for Jackson to be trapped in the Rave, someone HUMAN had to lay out the
Magic Fairy Du mountain ash barrier that would keep him there.
And we all know who our resident Team Human member is, right?
So, while all his buddies, get to go inside the Super Cool Rave, dance, stab lizards with drugs, and kick some Argent ass, poor Stiles is stuck outside sprinkling dirt around the parking lot. Real nice!
“Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to trap Douchey Jackson, I go . . .”
Given that, you can imagine how frustrated Stiles is, when he finds himself ridiculously low on Kanaima Keep Away Dust, way before he’s completed his Magic Circle. But does Stiles get discouraged. Heck no! Instead, he takes the Vet’s advice, and BELIEVES he has enough fairy dust to finish the circle. And, just like that, HE DOES! It’s magical . . .
. . . which, is why I’ve decided to BELIEVE that my laptop will turn into a million dollars, immediately upon my completing this recap.
I’ll let you know how that goes . . .
In which Derek, Boyd, and the Argents reenact a Jets/ Sharks scene from West Side Story . . .
Despite Papa Argent assuring Allison that his family’s plan to catch the Kanaima will have “no collateral damage” Grandpa Bad Ass tells his men, in no uncertain terms that this is a Seek and Destroy Mission. “Something wicked this way comes,” Gerard says.
You know, because he’s old . . . so, of course, he’s going to quote Shakespeare prior to heading out on a murder mission! (Speaking of Old Grandpa Argent, any guesses as to what those pills are, that he always seems to be popping like candy? Because something tells me they aren’t your typical “old guy” pills, i.e. heart and cholesterol medication, and/or stuff for his arthritis . . .)
But if the Argents want inside the party, they are going to have to get past the wolves first. Derek and Boyd are ready and waiting for them. It’s time to do battle!
At this point, I’d like to mention how happy I am that Boyd is back. You know, last week I bitched that Boyd might be the “forgotten werewolf.” Now, I know the truth. Boyd isn’t the “redheaded step child” of his wolfpack. On the contrary, he’s Alpha’s Pet! This is why he’s not sent off each week into the land of Failure and Humiliation like Derek and Erica are. Instead, he gets to be on the front lines with the Pack Master . . . getting sh*t done!
Except this time, when the Argents kinda kicked Derek’s and Boyd’s asses, using their . . . weapons and stuff.
“Don’t brink claws to a gunfight.” Consider that a lesson learned. Hey, you can’t win em all!
Speaking of Failure and Humiliation . . .
It’s Bump and Grind Time!
It’s the scene you’ve all been waiting for, folks. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumb Boobs have a mission, should they choose to accept it. That mission is to stab Jackson with a syringe, the contents of which will, if I’m not mistaken, both temporarily stave off the kanaima transformation, and unify the Puppet and Puppet Master of this team, so that our wolf pack can theoretically control them both . . .
Easier said than done . . .
I mean sure, Isaac and Erica are ACES when it comes to entrapping Un-Lizard Zombie Jackson into a Wolf-Kanaima sandwich.
And I’ll be damned if the possessed kanaima doesn’t look more than a bit hot and bothered by the notion of slapping his salami against the blonde bombshell, and the curly-hair with the pretty eyes. Though, it’s kind of a toss-up as to who turns the lizard on more, thus calling into question the sexuality of both Jackson (which has long been a subject of debate), and the person controlling him . . .
Things get a bit more dicey when it comes to syringing the beast. It turns out, for all his wolfy moxie, Isaac just can’t seem to get his stick in Jackson. (Don’t you just hate it when that happens?)
It takes a few tries, and a bit of a struggle. But eventually, the Leather Twins are able to drag a napping Jackson into an abandoned room. But Poor Pathetic Isaac. Here we have a SLEEPING Jackson, and the werewolf STILL can’t successfully slap him around.
“Don’t you dare interrupt my Evil Naptime!
In fact, I’m starting to think that Isaac’s getting his arm broken in every episode is going to start to become a running joke of the show, much like Stiles’ seeming inability to ever be seen on camera without his shirt on . . .
But hey, the plan isn’t a total bust! The Leather Twins (with Stiles’ help) eventually get the Kanaima to SPEAK through Jackson. As it turns out, the wolf pack might not just be dealing with a Jackson Jekyll and Hyde, and a HUMAN master, there also might very well be a spirit involved.
In a weird disembodied voice that kind of sort of sounds like the Possessed Person in Every Horror Movie Ever, “Jackson” tells the Scooby Gang that he’s not really here to kill them (Could have fooled us!), because he’s got bigger fish to fry, namely, the people that killed HIM.
“Jackson’s” words seem to confirm the theory that the spirit that embodies Jackson, when he’s the kanaima, is some high school student, who died in 2006, at some school event. Furthermore, quite a few other students seem to have witnessed the event in question, and either, did nothing to stop it, or helped it to happen.
This, of course, begs the question, how did “the kanaima” die. My theory? Drowning!
It would explain why Jackson was seen coming out of the water shortly after he was bitten by Derek, as well as the kanaima’s seeming fear of water . . .
Unfortunately, we don’t get much time to ponder this theory, because, in a flash the “medicine” wears off, and, just like that, Jackson is Lizard Man again (well, more like half and half), and he is on the loose . . .
It’s like one of those moisturizer commercials, where the model only puts the cream on half his face to show you how great the stuff works . . .
Stiles rushes out to tell his boyfriend, Derek, the news.
Isaac and Erica would probably like to rush out too, but . . . you know . . . fairy dust . . .
Meanwhile, the kanaima has found it’s next victim. Nice knowing ya, Ticket Taker at a Rave Chick . . .
“Go, BYE BYE!”
Hey, look on the bright side. Now, you will never have to worry about suffering from one of those pesky quarter-life crises!
How Mama Argent destroyed Scott’s chances of ever becoming a pothead . . . (And, boy, did she pay for that!)
“I was going to kill the kanaima, but I got high . . . I was going to have sex with my girl, but I got high . . . now this scary lady is out to get me, and I know why . . . cause I got high, cause I got high, cause I got high . . .”
Meanwhile, Scott’s a bit less than pleased with not-girlfriend Allison, because her Stupid Family is interfering with the Wolf Pack’s fun-filled game of “Catch the Kanaima.” This makes Allison sad, which nimrod Creepy Camera Guy Matt takes as a sign that, “Gee! Now, seems like a totally great time to stick my tongue down her throat.”
Real smooth, Matty-poo!
Scott rushes outside for some “air” only to be hit by Mama Argent’s car . . . “He came out of nowhere! It was just an accident.”
WRONG! As it turns out, this is all part of Mama Argent’s master plan to kidnap her daughter’s “ex” boyfriend, and asphyxiate him with a wolfsbane bong / vaporizer, of sorts (thus confirming my suspicions that Mama and Papa Argent were both TOTAL potheads, back in the day . . .) And it seems like this EEEVVVIIILLL plan just might work too, until Scott gives out a howl to his new pack mate, Derek, who rushes to his dawg’s rescue (after Stiles’ sweeps up the fairy dust, of course, so he can pass).
What happens next is a little shocking . . .
I mean, sure, we all figured that Scott was going to get out of this alive. What we didn’t plan on was Derek giving a big ole’ F-U to the Argent’s and their so-called “Code of Honor,” by giving Mama Argent the bite, thereby prospectively turning her into the thing she hates more than anything in this world . . .
In the final scene of the episode, we see Mama Argent rushing to Papa Argent’s arms, bloody and tainted, as Papa Argent looks on in dismay, undoubtedly wondering if it might be time for a little mercy killing. Are any of you fellow werebangers nerdy enough to have supernatural pacts with your friends. I am! All my best friends know that I’d be totally cool with becoming a vampire, or a werewolf (provided I’m financially stable enough to afford regular waxing treatments . . hairiness . . .ick), but if I ever become a zombie, they are totally within their rights to chop my head off.
Somehow, I suspect that the Argent’s have a similar pact at the ready, should any of them become werewolves. Papa Argent hinted as much in his “lesson” to Allison early on in the season. “One bite can change everything.”
This, of course, begs the question, how will Allison respond to the idea that her boyfriend’s pack mate effectively signed her own mother’s death warrant. I’m thinking the answer is going to be “not particularly well,” no matter how creepy and unloveable Mama Argent might be . . .
In other news, while The Vet is once again saving the life of a wolfsbane poisoned Scott . . .
“Why do all you werewolves always seem to end up on your backs?”
. . . that sucks-at-Latin guidance counselor randomly appears to make eerie comments to him about how “these kids don’t know about all the bad crap that’s going to happen to them really, really soon.” But what’s she doing in there in the middle of the night, anyway. Is she a relative? Does she know more about the kanaima than she’s letting on? Is she . . . TWENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD?
Unfortunately, I guess we’ll just have to wait until next week to find out the answer to these questions. Until next time, Werebangers!
[www.juliekushner.com] [Fangirls Forever – Now featuring Team Stiles and Team Derek tees!]