The Vampire Diaries’ Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert: The Top Ten WINNING Season 1 Moments for OUR Team!

 

It’s a choice that heroines in teen dramas have had to grapple with for ages: the brooding and sensitive good boy versus the unrepentant and dangerous bad one. 

And nowhere on television is that eternal question more fully explored than on the CW’s The Vampire Diaries, where good can be bad . . .

 . . . and bad can be deliciously GOOD!

Unlike in other shows, where the “good guy” is so bland and boring as to make the heroine’s choice completely obvious, writers Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec actually make a startlingly good case for both the “straight-laced” Stefan Salvatore, and his “fun loving killer” brother Damon.  Nonetheless, a choice HAS to be made . . .

Threesomes are fun, but they can’t last forever . . .

 . . . and I’ve made mine.  In Stefan’s defense, 9 times out of ten, when this sort of question is raised, I will throw MY lot in with the Bad Boy, without a second thought.  But there is something about Damon’s and Elena’s relationship that makes it special.

Unlike most heroines in these type of dramas, Elena is NOT drawn to Damon out of any sort of need for rebellion against authority.  After all, Elena’s parents are dead, and Useless Aunt Jenna certainly isn’t going to be “reigning her in” any time soon.  As for Damon, well, sure, his attraction to Elena may have started because (1) he wanted to stick it to his baby brother; and (2) she looked SO MUCH like his ex .  . .

 . . . but that changed almost immediately after he met her. 

Damon and Elena understand one another in a way no one else around them can.  They know eachothers’ vulnerabilities and weaknesses, as well as their respective strengths.  This allows them to be at ease with one another, and let their guards down in conversation. 

When Damon and Elena are in the same room together, the sexual tension between them crackles and pops like a sparkler on Independence Day.  And even when they aren’t saying anything, the pair can carry on entire conversations through eye contact and body language.

This is why what I am about to do here is so difficult.  When EVERY interaction between two individuals is electrically charged with sexuality, emotion, and meaning, how can one POSSIBLY boil down their entire complex relationship into JUST 10 scenes?   Nonetheless, I figured it was worth a try.  What follows are ten Damon / Elena scenes from Season 1 of The Vampire Diaries.  These scenes, in my opinion, really encapsulate the pair’s relationship, and comprise the best of what this couple has to offer.

[Note: For whatever reason, The CW has always been a bit finicky about what videos it allows us fans to embed in our blog posts.  Therefore, most of the below videos will require you to click on an internal link, that will redirect you to YouTube, before you can watch.  That being said, when I tell you the slight inconvenience you must endure to see the videos will be entirely worth it, I promise, I am not lying . . .]

10) Damon and Elena get flirty in Elena’s bedroom . . .

Nothing says “manly” like a boy in a pink bed, cuddling with a Teddy Bear.

Episode: “Under Control” – 1 X 18

Setting the scene: Elena invites Damon over for an emergency meeting to discuss Stefan, who has been acting strangely ever since he ingested Elena’s blood, during the prior episode . . .

Potent quotables:

DAMON:  “You ask, I come.  I’m easy like that.”

DAMON: (Calls out to a suspicious Jeremy, who is eating cereal in the next room) “No, Elena, I will NOT got to your bedroom with you!”

Why it made the list:  I love how Damon challenges Elena’s growing attraction to him here, by invading her personal space.  Watch the glee Damon takes in laying on Elena’s bed, hugging her teddy bear, fingering her photographs, and fondling her bras and delicates.  Then, at the end of the scene, Damon invades Elena’s person, as he moves in close, trapping her up against the vanity table.  In that moment, without saying so, Damon is forcing Elena to confront her feelings for him, and how they differ from her feelings for Stefan.

9) Damon gives Elena a rose

Episode: “Under Control” –  1 X 18

Setting the scene:  Damon and Elena are at a Founder’s Day pre-party, where Stefan is drinking heavily, in an attempt to dull his hunger for human blood.  Elena expresses her concerns to Damon as the two sit next to one another at the bar.  But Damon is more concerned about Elena’s brother, Jeremy, who has been asking questions about Vicki Donovan’s death. 

 (Background: After Damon made Vicki into a vampire, she violently turned on Elena and Jeremy.  Stefan killed Vicki to save them.  Then, at Elena’s request, Damon buried Vicki’s body, and compelled Jeremy to forget what had happened.)

Potent quotables:

DAMON: (Mimicking Jeremy) “Oh, but sheriff, someone buried her.  Who would do that?”  (raises hand)  “I know, I know!  ME!”

And later . . .

DAMON: (Upon agreeing not to use any more compulsion on Jeremy) “OK.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Why it made the list: For me, this scene really illustrates the snap, crackle, and pop of Damon’s and Elena’s witty banter.  These two are clearly at ease with one another.  Check out the pair’s body language, as they angle their chairs toward eachother, and repeatedly brush limbs.  I also love the old-fashioned way Damon “courts” Elena, by selecting a rose from a nearby bouquet, sniffing it to make sure it is of top quality, and delicately placing it in her hand. 

So often, we forget that Damon “grew up” in the mid 1800’s.  This scene gently reminds us of that.  When Elena receives the rose, she can’t help but be flattered and intrigued by Damon’s gesture, even though she knows she shouldn’t be.

8 ) Things “heat up,” while Damon and Elena are in the kitchen together. . .

Episode: “Children of the Damned”  – 1 X 13

Setting the scene: Damon has dropped by the Gilbert home for dinner, unannounced.  After the meal, Damon and Elena wash dishes together.  Things quickly evolve from fun and flirty, to serious and intense, when Damon inquires as to Stefan’s true motives, in agreeing to help Damon free his long lost love, Vampire Katherine, from a nearby tomb.  Elena initially shrugs off the question, but Damon confronts her directly, imploring her to be honest with him.  She isn’t . . .

Potent quotables:

ELENA:  “Don’t do that”

DAMON:  “Do what?”

ELENA:  “That move was deliberate.”

DAMON:  “Yeah, I was deliberately trying to get to the sink.”

And later . . .

ELENA: “I’m wearing vervain, Damon.  It’s not going to work.”

DAMON:  “I’m not trying to compel you.   I just want you to answer me . . . honestly”

Why it made the list: So many of Damon’s and Elena’s interactions revolve around the issue of trust.  Can these two individuals trust one another?  Well . . . that really depends on the episode. 

For me, this scene can really be broken down into two parts.  The first part of the scene is lighthearted and flirtatious.  Notice Damon’s highly sexualized “Ohhh . . . mmmm” when he “accidentally” bumps into Elena on the way to the sink.  While Elena pretends to be annoyed by the grope, the sly grin on her face says otherwise.

The second scene is more intense.  Damon can sense that Stefan and Elena are lying to him, but instinctively trusts Elena, and refuses to believe she could do anything so dishonest.  When Elena accuses Damon of trying to compel her to tell him the truth, he appears to be truly offended that she would think he would do that to her, after all they had been through.  When Damon asks Elena if he can trust Stefan, he is revealing to her a vulnerable side of him that she hasn’t seen before.  She feels guilty about lying to Damon, as evidenced by the way her eyes drift downward, refusing to meet his, at 1:18.  Then again, she may just be mesmerized by those gorgeous lips of his . . .

7) Damon and Elena get wet (in the rain)

Episode: “Let the Right One in” – 1 X 17

Setting the scene: Stefan is being held captive by the Hidey Hole Vamps (a random plotline developed, and promptly discarded mid season).  The Hidey Hole Vamps came from the tomb Damon opened during “Fool Me Once” (Episode 14).  You know, the one that was SUPPOSED to contain Vampire Katherine, but didn’t?  So, understandably, Damon feels a bit responsible for his brother’s kidnapping.  Elena of course, is beside herself, and wants part in the rescue.  But Damon fears that if Elena comes along, the responsibility will become too much for him.  And he will lose both Stefan AND Elena, in the process.

Potent quotables:

DAMON:  (Lovingly cupping Elena’s wet face in his hands).  “Elena, I know.  But I don’t know how to get him out.”

Why it made the list:  This short scene is intensely emotional for both Damon and Elena.  Both characters have completely let their guard down.  Elena, who is intensely strong willed, and usually highly adept at keeping her emotions in check, is near tears, at the thought of Stefan being killed by the Hidey Hole Vamps.  She feels helpless, and has stored all her hopes in Damon. 

As I mentioned earlier, Damon feels responsible for this whole situation.  He desperately wants to protect Elena and Stefan, and fears he is about to let them both down.  Damon, who has always been supernaturally strong, and can usually mask his feelings with bravado and snark, is completely stripped down and vulnerable here.  And he hates it .  . .

6) Damon watches Elena sleep

Episode: “Friday Night Bites”  – 1 X 3

Setting the scene:  Ummm, I think you all are smart enough to figure this one out on your own . . .

Potent quotables: 

STEFAN: (in voiceover) “I felt there was hope.  That somewhere deep inside, something inside Damon was human, normal.”

Why it made the list:  This scene, from the third Episode of The Vampire Diaries, is important, because it is truly the first time we see anything resembling humanity in Damon.  Up until this point, all we have seen him do is kill and manipulate people.  Every word spoken by him had an ulterior motive.  Every gesture was made in malice.  Here, we know, Damon’s actions are completely uncalculated, BECAUSE no one else can see them.  Not even Elena, herself, who is unconscious the entire time. 

It’s a short scene, only a few moments long, and (aside from the voiceover) dialogue free.  But those few seconds speak volumes about Damon’s complexity as a character, and his early feelings for Elena — feelings that would only grow stronger, as the series progressed . . .

5) Elena falls victim to Damon’s “Eye Thing”

Episode: “Founder’s Day” 1 X 22 (The Season 1 Finale)

Setting the scene: Elena has just changed out of her 1800’s attire, following the Founder’s Day parade, and a ride on the Miss Mystic Falls float.  Ever since Elena’s biological mother told Elena that Damon “loved her” (“Isobel” – Episode 1 X 21) things have gotten a bit awkward among our favorite Vampire Threesome.  And Elena desperately wants to clear the air. 

Speaking of clearing the air, things of become unusually chilly between Elena and her little brother, Jeremy, following Jeremy’s discovery that Elena has been keeping information aboutVicki’s vampiric demise from him.  She also played a major part in having Jeremy’s memory of the event wiped from his consciousness.

Potent quotables:

DAMON:  “I like you better like this.  The period look, it didn’t suit you.”

ELENA:  “Is that an insult?”

DAMON:   “Actually, Elena.  It is a compliment, of the highest order.”

And later . . .

ELENA:  “So, I think you should stop with the flirty little comments, and that . . . Eye Thing . . . that you do.”

DAMON:  “What eye thing?”  (Does Eye Thing . . .)

ELENA: “Don’t make me regret being your friend.”

Why it made the list: In this scene, we can truly see how far Damon has come, from seeing Elena as a conquest, and a doppelganger of his long lost love, to being a sexy, intelligent, and caring woman, in her own right.  The fact that Damon prefers Elena wearing modern clothes, to Elena wearing Katherine’s clothes, speaks volumes about how much his feelings for her have grown.  Further evidence of that is found later in the scene, when Elena tells Damon not to make her regret being his friend.

Initially, of course, Damon’s face, which has been playful and seductive, since the opening of the scene, falls.  Here’s a sexy popular playboy, one who has NEVER had any trouble with the ladies.  And he has just been placed in the Friend Zone. 

But what makes things really interesting, is what Damon does next.  We watch as he takes a beat to ponder his relationship with Elena.  Instantly, he comes to the conclusion that a friendship with Elena would be far better than no relationship at all.  He nods sadly, but with a deep understanding and respect for Elena’s strength, as she goes to talk to Jeremy.  And don’t even get me started on that “Eye Thing.”

4) Damon tries to compel Elena to kiss him / gets slapped in the face

Episode: “Friday Night Bites:  – 1 x 3

Setting the scene: Damon has basically been compelling Elena’s friend Caroline to be his blood whore throughout the entire episode.  But Caroline has started to bore and annoy Damon, so he sets his sights on greener pastures, Elena’s.  Never one to go about things the “hard way,” Damon corners Elena, alone in the parking lot, during a high school football game.  He plans to compel her to be his love slave, just as he has done with Caroline.  Little does he know that Stefan has armed her with a vervain necklace, rendering her impervious to all mind control . . .

Potent quotables:

DAMON:  “You’re right, I do have other intentions.  But so do you . . . I see them.  You want me . . . I get to you.  You find yourself drawn to me.  You think about me, even when you don’t want to think about me.  I bet you’ve even dreamed about me .  . . (Damon’s eyes glow green, with the power of compulsion behind them).  And right now, you want to kiss me.”

And later . . .

ELENA:  “I am NOT Katherine!”

Why it made the list: The acting in this scene between Ian Somerhalder (Damon) and Nina Dobrev (Elena) was positively brilliant.  For starters, the sexual tension between these two is undeniable  — even though, at this point, Elena is trying desperately to deny it, and Damon is trying to force it, for his own personal gain.  When Damon first makes his speech about how “hot for him” Elena is, we, as viewers, know that a lot of what he is saying true.  Elena DOES feel drawn to Damon.  She DOES think about him, even when she doesn’t want to.   And she HAS dreamed about him.

But what’s really interesting is to watch the scene from Elena’s perspective.  That dreamy, faraway, look in her eye.  The way she keeps leaning closer and closer to him, as he speaks, unable to break eye contact.  The first time I saw the scene, I wondered, for a moment, whether Damon had SUCCEEDED in compelling Elena to want to kiss him, in spite of the fact that she was wearing vervain. 

Then I wondered whether Elena knew what Damon was trying to do.  Based on that theory, she was  just pretending to fall under his spell, only to catch him off guard, when she went in for the slap later.  But here’s the thing:  at this point, Elena doesn’t KNOW that Stefan and Damon are vampires.  (Notice how Elena didn’t catch on to Damon’s ironic intimation, that he was MUCH older than Caroline.)  So, she has no idea, they are capable of mind control.  So, Elena’s seemingly lovestruck initial reaction to Damon’s words?  It was REAL!

3) Damon and Elena do the “Mating Dance”

Episode: “Miss Mystic Falls” – 1 X 19

Setting the Scene: Elena has unwillingly agreed to take part in the Miss Mystic Falls pageant.  Stefan has agreed to be her escort.  But on the day of the pageant, Stefan mysteriously disappears.  (Turns out he’s gone all blood lusty, and has set out to eliminate Elena’s competition, by eating it.)  Unbeknownst to Elena, Damon has stepped in to fill Stefan’s shoes, and, subsequently, save the day.

Potent quotables:

USELESS AUNT JENNA:   “What is she doing with Damon?”

ALARIC:  “I have NO IDEA!”

Why it made the list:  Like the earlier referenced scene, where Damon watched Elena sleep, this scene is nearly silent, save for the music to which the contestants dance.  I love the first part of the scene, where Elena has her “Oh so Teen Cliched” Staircase Moment, and we see Damon’s eyes light up with love and sexual desire, as he sees her in that blue dress for the first time.

You can see the changes that take place in the couple, as the dance progresses.  When it first starts, the two are wary of one another, stiff and business like.  But then the music starts to take over.  Smiles form on their faces.  They are actually enjoying THIS! 

Damon’s a surprisingly good dancer (much better than his younger brother).  The first part of the dance, during which the partners can’t touch, is a mating ritual in every sense of the world.  Damon and Elena circle one another like predator and prey.

But things really heat up when they are finally able to grab hold of one another.  He grasps her body firmly, in a manner that is strong and protective.  They both get a bit lost in the moment, wanting to move in closer, but unable to do so, based on the regimented nature of the dance.  When the music stops, and the pair are forced to break from one another, they both seem a bit jarred by the intense emotions this experience has brought to the surface.

2) Damon kisses Elena Katherine

Episode: “Founder’s Day” – 1 x 22 (Season 1 Finale)

Setting the scene: At the Founder’s Day Carnival, Bonnie, at Elena’s behest, used her magic to rescue Damon from death by fire.  Filled with gratitude, Damon goes to Elena’s house to set things right with Elena’s brother, Jeremy, by explaining to him, what truly happened with Vampire Vicki.  As he leaves the house, he runs into who he THINKS is Elena.  (It isn’t . . .)

Potent quotables:

DAMON:  “I’m not a hero, Elena.  I don’t do good.  It’s not in my nature.”

KATHERINE (as Elena):  “Maybe it is.”

And later . . .

DAMON:  “She did it for you [saved me], which means that, somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving.  And I wanted to thank you for that.”

KATHERINE (as Elena):  “You’re welcome.”

Why it made the list: At first blush, it may seem like sacrilege to put a scene that didn’t even INCLUDE Elena, in a list of the “Top Ten Best Damon and Elena” scenes.  But the fact remains, that, from Damon’s perspective, this WAS Elena, to whom he had bared his soul, and with whom, after an entire season of trying and failing, he had finally shared a kiss.  All this time, us fans always assumed that Damon did “bad things” simply because he wanted to.  Now, we realize, that he did them, because he thought himself to be completely incapable of goodness.  He is confused by, and uncomfortable with, his growing humanity, but at the same time, excited by it.

And Damon is excited by Elena, who for the first time, seems truly open to his advances.  He kisses her tentatively at first.  And then, when she doesn’t pull away, really lets himself get carried away in the moment.  His hands cup her face, his fingers run through her hair.  All thoughts of this awful day, escape from his head, and all that is left is love and passion.

In hindsight, we can see that “Elena” was different — that she seemed colder and more aloof, then she had in previous scenes.  A few cocked eyebrows and vague responses here and there, betray Katherine’s lack of knowledge, as to what has been going on in Mystic Falls this season.  She notices the change in Damon immediately, and is bit intrigued by it, especially since, all this time, she thought SHE was the only woman who held any power over him.  And when they finally kiss, Katherine shows none of the extreme guilt the ever-faithful Elena would experience had she just made the decision to cheat on her vampire boyfriend.

And it’s this complexity, that makes the scene so compulsively watchable . . .

And finally . . . (drumroll please)

1) Damon returns Elena’s necklace

Episode: “Fool Me Once” – 1X14

Setting the scene: Having recently learned that Stefan and Elena have stolen the spellbook that he needs to free his love Katherine from the tomb, Damon feels hurt and betrayed.  After all, the couple had promised to help him get Katherine back, and Elena had given Damon his word that their intentions were genuine.  Later, Elena comes to visit an uncharacteristically broody Damon at his home, waving the metaphorical “white flag” and carrying the proverbial “olive branch.”

Potent quotables:

ELENA:  “I was protecting the people I love, Damon.  But so were you, in your own twisted way.  As hard as it is to figure, we are all on the same side, after the same thing.”

DAMON:  “Fool me once, shame on you.”

And later . . .

ELENA:  “You and I, we have something.  An understanding.  And I know my betrayal hurt you — different than it was with Stefan.  But I promise you, I will help you get Katherine back.

And still later . . .

DAMON:  I didn’t compel you in Atlanta, because we were having fun.  I wanted it to be real.  I’m trusting you.   Don’t make me regret it.

Why it TOPPED the list: This scene contains everything we LOVE about Damon and Elena, all rolled up into one beautiful and sexy package:  the witty banter, the silent looks filled with meaning, the complex innuendos, the invasion of personal space, gentle caresses, and an admission, on both Damon’s and Elena’s parts, that their relationship is special.  It travels far beyond the expected boundaries of friendship.  The episode, begins with a betrayal of trust, and concludes with the ultimate exchange of trust.  Elena, who has always secretly worried that Damon has been trying to compel her (how else could she explain her strong romantic feelings for him), really puts herself out there for Damon.

By taking off the vervain necklace that protects her from mind control, Elena is exposing herself completely to Damon.  She might as well be standing naked before him.  And Damon, who wonders whether he will ever be able to trust Elena again, has the perfect opportunity to exert ultimate power over her.  And just like in Atlanta, he refuses to take that opportunity.  He will not take advantage of Elena in that way.  When Damon closes in on Elena, and reaches behind her to take the necklace, she is frightened and a bit aroused.  All of this is evident, when, to her surprise, Damon gently clasps the necklace back around her neck.  

A gentle brush of Damon’s fingers across Elena’s throat is enough to send her eyes rolling back in her head in pure ecstacy.  But this scene isn’t just about sex or power.  It is about love, friendship, understanding, and a willingness to let someone see you at your most vulnerable.  And THAT is why this scene made Number One on my list . . .

Season 2 of the Vampire Diaries premieres Thursday, September 9th at 8 p.m. on The CW, and we all know what THAT means — more juicy Damon and Elena scenes to gush over and explore.  I for one, CAN’T WAIT!  Can YOU?

Neither can HE! 😉

[www.juliekushner.com]

 

Explosions! Car Crashes! Deaths! Kisses! And the Twist to End all Twists! – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ Season Finale “Founder’s Day”

Prior to the airing of The Vampire Diaries first season finale, the show’s creator, Kevin Williamson, admittedly, set the bar pretty high for himself.  By all accounts, The Vampire Diaries had a freshman season most television shows only DREAM about . . . a cast that was both beautiful AND talented;

 a show concept that, in the age of Twilight  and True Blood, was pretty much guaranteed to be a ratings dynamo with the core 18-49 TV viewing demographic;

sharp and snappy writing, and brilliant plotting that was genuinely unpredictable, without a single “jump the shark moment.” 

Stay cool, Arthur Fonzarelli!  Your services will not be needed here this season!

After its midseason hiatus, The Vampire Diaries truly came into its own!  No more lame diary writing scenes and voiceovers, no more “Damon as crow” CGI-laced images. 

We all have to “eat a little crow” sometimes . . .

The show had become a lean-mean plotting machine, with each subsequent episode besting the one before it, both in terms of shock value and sheer greatness.

See?  Greatness!

As if there wasn’t enough pressure on Williamson to produce television gold this week, the show creator himself decided to up the stakes.  In a number of interviews he gave before the finale, Williamson promised a season-ending episode that would literally stop hearts!  E! Online and Entertainment Weekly both teased that the show’s finale, entitled “Founder’s Day,” would offer fans no less than EIGHT cliffhangers, a car accident, two major deaths, and a shocking first kiss . . .  

We can dream, can’t we?

To be honest, going into this finale, I was a bit worried for my good pal Kevin.   After all, he and I go WAY back to the early 00’s, during his Dawson’s Creek days.

Pacey and Joey, forever!

Oh, hush up, Dawson!

So I really, really didn’t want my old friend to fail.  And yet I feared that he would.  I mean, who could live up to ALL THAT HYPE?

Answer . . . this guy!

I am happy to report that, this finale did, in fact, deliver! (Did it EVER?)   It was truly everything all those spoiler blogs promised, and so much more! 

I did have one complaint though . . . There were no Shirtless Salvatores!   

Nor were there any open-shirted Salvatores!

Not even was there a Salvatore in wife-beater tank top!

 Not a single bit of skin to whet our appetites until next season.  Kevin, honey, I love you, but that’s just plain cruel!

Clearly, Dawson agrees!

Excess clothing aside, surprisingly, the finale still left me an extremely happy girl.  (And that’s saying a lot, especially considering how much I love my shirtless men!)  So, without further adieu, on with the recap!

“I’m Here to Eat Cotton Candy and Steal Your Girl”

Tonight’s finale started innocently enough.  It was the day of the Founder’s Day Parade, an event that probably looked a lot like your high school homecoming parade.  That is, if you were lucky enough to go to high school with super hot vampires, and if your school had a substantial wardrobe budget for historically accurate dresswear from the late 19th century.  (Come to think of it, it probably didn’t look like your school’s homecoming parade at all . . .) 

Our heroine Elena, with ringleted hair and a gown that made her look suspiciously similar to her (heretofore seen only in flashbacks) vampire doppelganger, Katherine, rode the high school’s premiere float, along with her escort, the no longer blood-crazed, Stefan, 

as well as the recently plotline-light couple, Matt and Caroline.

The CW is still paying us . . . We might as well make ourselves useful.

And then Damon magically appeared . . .

Sigh!

And boy was our newly out of the “Elena-closet” lover boy an emotional rollercoaster, this evening!   When we first see him, he is very much the cocksure badass we know from early Season 1.  When Stefan questions him about why he’s at this event, he remarks, in classic Damon fashion, “I’m here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl . . .”  (By the way, do vampires eat in Vampire Diaries’ world?  Because I’ve never actually seen it happen . . .)

Dear Damon,

BITE ME!

Signed,

Julie Cotton Candy

Unlike many television characters who find themselves on the outskirts of a love triangle, Damon is NOT a silent piner!  From the moment Isobel called Damon out on his love for Elena last week, he has made sure the world knows his feelings!  Starting with Stefan.  After having been surprisingly civil to one another these last few episodes, Damon and Stefan really went at it this week.  Snarky comments flew through their air like boomerangs in the Australian outback. 

 And yet, not a single punch was thrown!  In fact, Damon’s and Stefan’s encounters looked a bit more like “girly catfights” than, “macho man brawls.”  This made the interactions between them all the more adorable.

Catfight!  Ladies in your corners!

In other news, Damon confronts, Witchy (and Bitchy) Bonnie (who, thank goodness, is no longer sporting those awful bangs we’ve seen on her in past weeks) to “thank” her for curing Ancestor Gilbert’s “invention” of its Vampire Torture properties.  The scene is particularly interesting,  since we learned last week, that Bonnie only pretended to do this . . .

I bought you something, Bonnie . . .

“I can turn you, Jeremy.”

Poor Jeremy Gilbert.  It seems like this guy is an Angst Magnet.  Having recently re-learned about the tragic and bloody death of his erst-while girlfriend, Vicki Donovan . . .

Jeremy now has another dead body on his hands, his new vampire girlfriend Anna’s mother, Pearl. 

Having initially balked at the idea of turning Jeremy, Anna, now truly alone in the world, offers to turn Jeremy for real, going as far as to offer him a vial of her blood for safe keeping.  (Speaking of blood vials . . . remember when Angelina Jolie used to wear one of those around her neck?  And make out with her brother?  Good times!)

To a sincerely angry and depressed Jeremy, Anna extols the virtues of vampirism in a way that we heard echoed by nearly all of the vampires on this show.  “You can turn your feelings off, whenever you want.  It won’t hurt so much,” she explains.

And, I’m sorry, but I call BS right here.  Because, really, is there anyone on this show more emotional than the vampires?  First you have broody Stefan, who, though usually even-keel, gets  a single drop of human blood in his system, and quickly becomes a raving lunatic. 

Then there’s Damon, who alternates between making snarky comments, to breaking characters’ necks for no reason, to mooning over his sweetheart. 

 

(He looks hot doing all of the above, by the way.)

 And now, we have Anna, who has gone back and forth throughout the season between needing Jeremy and wanting to be left alone, wanting to turn him, and wanting to protect him from vampire kind. 

If THIS is vampires turning their feelings OFF, I’d hate to see them with them turned on . . .

Ummm . . . did I just say that?   Because I totally take it back!

“The Eye Thing”

Later, Elena stops by the Only Bar / Social Establishment in Mystic Falls and runs into Damon.  In a fabulous scene you may have seen posted on YouTube or, perhaps, on this blog, before this episode even aired, Elena confronts Damon about “Stefan’s concerns” regarding Damon’s “feelings” for her.  Initially, Damon plays it coy, as if to say, “I have no idea what on earth you are talking about.” 

However, Elena has his number, and calls him out on his “flirty comments” and  signature “eye thing,” (which I could watch on continuous loop for hours, by the way).

In fact, I think I WILL!

And yet, things start to get truly interesting, when Elena says these words to Damon, “Don’t make me regret being your friend.”

At this point Damon’s face falls noticeably.  Some might say, it’s merely because he has been explicitly tossed in the “friend zone.”  However, I think it is something more.  As callous as Damon might appear to the outside world, he truly loves Elena, and would much rather be her friend than nothing at all.  He nods imperceptibly, and probably for the only time this entire season, we watch Damon pine, just a little bit, as Elena walks away to talk to her brother. 

Elena tries to smooth things over with Jeremy, but he basically tells her to go to hell.  Damon hears this and promptly goes into full protective boyfriend mode, threatening Jeremy that he better be kind to his sister, “Or else.”

At which point, Stefan magically appears .  .  .

 .  . . and surprises us all, by openly admitting to Jeremy that, although Damon may have been the one to erase his memory, it was Stefan, and not Damon, who ultimately killed Vicki.

From a Whisper to a Scream . . .

It is not until the night of the Founders Day fireworks that the poo really hits the fan!  Here, we learn that the hidey hole vampires are back with a vengeance!  (And we thought they were gone!)  After all, thanks to the “Founders” these guys have been stuck underground since 1864, with nothing to do but be pissed off!  So, understandably, a lot of them have anger issues. 

To further complicate matters, Creepy Uncle John (who I guess we now have to refer to as “Father John,” since he seems to be Elena’s Daddy) . . .

I SO HATE THIS GUY!  (How the heck did Elena come out so NORMAL with Wackjob Bio Parents from Hell, John and Isobel?)

 . . . has decided to reenact that lovely old 1864 flashback, where the townspeople rounded up all the vampires and burned them to a crisp inside an abandoned building.  Except now, he has the “invention” to help him out.  He also, at first glance, has a traitorous vampire on the inside to help things along, Vampire Anna . . .

But all is not as it seems, because Vampire Anna is playing both sides.  She warns Damon of the respective plans of both the hidey hole vamps and Uncle John.  But before, Damon can rescue Stefan and “his girl,” Uncle John breaks out the crazy invention, and we finally get to see what it can do.  It’s a bit disappointing that the “invention” turns out to be nothing more than a dog whistle for vamps. 

 Turn it on and vampires crumble to the ground incapacitated, by what looks like nothing more than a super intense migraine.

As the invention “plays,” we watch as Anna, Damon, Stefan and the Hidey Hole vamps immediately fall to the ground.  This is not surprising.  What IS surprising is that the Mayor of the town is affected too, as is his son, Tyler . . .

 . . . who, while driving with Caroline and Matt, swerves upon hearing the sound, and gets into a massive car crash, leaving Caroline extremely wounded.  “But they aren’t vampires,” claims the Mayor’s wife / Tyler’s mother.

So what are they? If you’ve been reading online interviews about the show, it should be no secret that Tyler comes from a family of werewolves, a fact that will undoubtedly be explored in greater detail during Season 2 of this show. 

Who knew Ancestor Gilbert’s crazy invention extended to ALL supernatural creatures?  (How very True Blood of the show’s creators!)

All Hell Breaks Loose

In a scene eerily reminscent of those Civil War-era flashbacks from the Blood Brothers episode, Uncle John decks the town Sheriff, and proceeds to round up all the writhing headache-suffering supernatural creatures of Mystic Falls, tossing them into an abandoned building, which he promptly douses with gasoline.  Vampires Anna and Damon are inside, as is the Mayor of the Town.  Stefan, however, somehow manages to avoid the frey.  

If you recall, up until this point, Damon used to be on the Mystic Falls Vampire Killer Council.  Me thinks he won’t be invited back next year . . .

Elena sees Uncle / Father John entering the burning building, and tries to reason with him, explaining that she knows he is her father.

Don’t worry Elena, Father’s Day sucked for Luke Skywalker too . . .

Elena hopes that her admission will soften John’s heart . . . not so much.  The Evil Creepo Dude enters the building and STAKES ANNA . .

 . . . giving us our first major (and very sad) death of the episode.

The second death belongs to the Mayor, also killed on the scene, at the hands of Damon himself (having woken from his headache).  He does this, presumably in hopes that when this is all over, his true identity will not be exposed to the town.  (Did NOBODY else in Mystic Falls see the Extremely Hot Man writhing on the ground?  Unlikely . . . Sorry Damon!)

Outside the now-burning building, Elena, who has come to realize that her friend Bonnie is a total poopyhead, who lied about curing the vampire torture invention, confronts her fairweather friend.  The two duke it out a bit over the merits of dating and befriending vampires.   Then Bonnie starts mumbling some witchy hoo hah.  We worry she’s merely doing this to speed up the death process for the Grandma-killing blood suckers she hates so much.  However, she surprises everyone by stopping the burning, and allowing Damon to get free . . .

The Aftermath and the MAJOR OMFG Twist . . .

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Caroline remains in critical condition, and one of the eight cliffhangers of the episode is thereby revealed. 

Looks like you got a storyline, after all, Candice Acola . .  . but probably NOT the one you wanted, huh?

Another one follows shortly after.   A newly free Damon comes to see Jeremy, and admits to him that Anna is dead.  The two share a sweet and gut-wrenching moment, brilliantly acted by them both, in which they discuss, love, vampirism, and, of course . . . you guessed it . . . turning off one’s feelings.

  Surprisingly, Damon even goes as far as to apologize for how he treated (and ultimately turned Vicki).  Damon then offers to remove Jeremy’s memories again, but Little Gilbert declines.  The last time we see Jeremy, is staring forlornly at the mirror, drinking Anna’s blood and swallowing a mouthful of pills.  Will he die?  Will he turn into a vampire?  Or none of the above . . . It looks like we will have to wait until next season to find out . . .

With all of their friends rescued, Stefan finally has time to confront Elena about Damon’s purported feelings for her.   She assures him repeatedly how much she loves him.  And yet, me thinks thou doth protest to much . . .

Be afraid Stefan, be very afraid! – Love, Elena Cotton Candy (See what I did, there?)

Back at the Gilbert house, Damon is waiting outside Elena’s doorstep when “she” arrives home. 

In yet another heartfelt conversation  (And this episode had a TON!), a wistful Damon discusses the nature of his desire for redemption.  He feels fortunate that Stefan and Elena saw something in him, worth saving.  The two lean close to one another and . .  . wait for it . . . SHARE A HOT KISS!  At first it is small and chaste, on the cheek.  And then not so chaste, complete with hands around necks and fingers in hair.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a good screencap of these two hotties . . . so look at this picture and imagine Isobel as Elena!  (Or YOU as Isobel . . . because that’s fun too!) 🙂

And at that moment the entire TVD watching population shares a big fat O, if you know what I mean . . .

In classic style, of course, that “O” is interrupted by none other than Useless Aunt Jenna, who forces “Elena” to come inside (and I don’t mean in a fun way, either) . 

Aunt Killjoy

(But note the “invitation,” because it’s going to become important, in just a few brief moments.)

As the two leave, Damon strokes his mouth, and you just know the memory of that kiss will take an eternity to erase.    And I would have been content for the episode to end right there .  . . but BOY was there more!  “Elena” heads to the kitchen and meets up with Evil Uncle / Father John, who tries in vain to explain his actions to his vampire loving daughter.  By way of a truce, he offers to cook a meal with her.  She complies . . . by grabbing the knife, and cutting off his hand containing the ring of immortality!  She then STABS HIM IN THE CHEST! 

And her then face gets all veiny and puffy eye baggy!  We know that look!  That’s not Elena at all!  It’s her doppelganger, Vampire Katherine! 

“I’m back bitches!  Thanks for inviting me in, Useless Aunt Jenna!”

Dun Dun Dun!

At the end of the episode a non-veiny and non-eye baggy Elena arrives home, calmly leaving a message for Stefan on her cell phone (I love you, blah, blah, blah).  She is completely unaware, of course, of the carnage into which she is about to walk. 

“Hey, Kev W!  What gives?  Why are you always picking on me?  Haven’t I been through enough?”

A potentially dead biological father?  A potentially dead or vampiric little brother?  An angry Aunt Jenna who thinks she’s a cheater?  A lovestruck Damon who thinks so too .  . .  but likes it?

Throughout this series, I’ve always totally envied Elena Gilbert’s life.  During this episode’s concluding moments, for the first time this season, I didn’t envy her  . . . AT ALL!

So, there you have it folks.  A brilliant end, to a brilliant first Season.  It’s truly been a wild and amazing ride recapping this fabulous show.  And I sincerely thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing it with me.  (Especially, Amy over at Imaginary Men, who shared my obsessive fangirl love through many a comment and email, and was still willing to speak to me, after our failed liveblog event.)

 And to show you all my thanks, I’d like to leave you with these lovely gifs, that may help ease the pain of a Salvatore Brother-less summer . . .

(The people over at Gif Soup are officially my NEW BEST FRIENDS!)

Until next season . . . (or until they start airing the reruns).  Bite ya later!  🙂

When The Vampire Diaries’ Meets Lost . . . : A Recap of The Vampire Diaries’ “Blood Brothers”

Fans of both Lost and The Vampire Diaries likely found a lot of similarities between this week’s TVD installment and that other show trickling across the airwaves right now.  And I’m not just talking about how both shows feature Ian Somerhalder playing a ” hot dead guy” . . .

Like that “other show,” “Blood Brothers” split its time between the present day and a flashback this week, in order to: (1) further develop the characters featured in the flashback; (2) explain these characters’ actions and motivations; and (3) provide viewers with additional insight into the show’s “mysteries.”  In addition to being profoundly Lost-ian . . .

 . . . this week’s episode, also featured: some truly sexy moments (way to go Jeremy and Anna!), some shockingly disturbing moments (Stefan ate his dad?), a vampiric re-death (R.I.P. Vampire Pearl), a vampiric rebirth (Hi, Isobel!), and, if you were really looking hard for it (like I was), some yummy grist for the Damon and Elena shipper mill . . .

Sigh . . .

Let’s bite into the episode, shall we?

When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Eat Daddy .  . .

When we last left our pal Stefan, he was acting like a total human bloodaholic, and, in Damon’s words, “going around chewing on people.”

Before you chew on me, Stefan, may I interest you in a nice stick of gum, instead?

Same gushy center, less mess . . .

And so, with the help of Damon and Elena (It has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think?), Stefan met up with the business end of a vervain-filled syringe, and ended up locked up in a sort of jail cell, conveniently located right inside the Salvatores’ La Casa de Rich and Awesome.  (You know, if I ever make it big enough to buy myself a mansion, I am TOTALLY putting some sort of cage in it . . . )

Because CAGES are SUPER KINKY!

Anyway, being “locked up” and all, Stefan suddenly has a lot of time to think.  So, he flashes back to the time in his life when he and Damon first became vampires.  This is great news for us fans, because we FINALLY get to learn how it all went down . . .

When we last left Flashback World, the Mystic Falls townspeople were in the process of forcibly gathering up all of the town’s vampires, in order to stuff them in a church and burn them to smithereens.  The mob is being led by none other than Damon’s and Stefan’s father, who uses the information he learned from Stefan, himself, to get to Katherine.  This is a very RUDE thing of Daddy Salvatore to do, putting a muzzle on a woman with whom you used to play croquet . . .

“But, Mr. Salvatore, I let you WIN!”

When Katherine is captured, Damon and Stefan band together to come to her rescue.  While they are attempting to untie and unmuzzle her, two gun shots are fired in rapid succession off-screen, one landing in each of the Salvatore brothers’ chests.  As the brothers’ lie on the ground, bloody and unconscious, Katherine is dragged away by the angry townspeople.

A few days later, Stefan and Damon wake up in a secluded area.  There, they are promptly informed by Witch Emily . . .

 . . . who just so happens to be the ancestor of Witch Bonnie . . .

 . . . that because both brothers drank Katherine’s blood (Damon, by choice, and Stefan, by compulsion) prior to being killed, they are now in transition toward becoming vampires.  The catch?  In order to fully transform into vampires, they need to drink . . .

 . . . ASAP, or they will DIE (for good, this time).

Initially, both Stefan and Damon agree that, without Katherine, there is no reason for eternal life. So, they must allow themselves to die, rather than complete the transition.  However, on a whim, Stefan decides to go to his father’s house to wish him goodbye.  Once there, his father informs Stefan that HE WAS THE ONE WHO SHOT THEM!!!!!  This bastard shot his own sons, because he didn’t like the girl they were dating?  Overreact much? 

 To make matters worse, Daddy Salvatore seems intent to finish the job.  He rushes at Stefan, clutching a large stake-like poker in his hands.  But Stefan, who has already gained some of his legendary vampire strength from those legendary (and hot) vampire arms of his . . .

 . . . stabs his DAD with the poker instead.  And while Stefan’s Daddy is moaning, groaning, and basically dying in front of him, Stefan begins to EAT HIM (well . . . drink his blood, at least).  The scene is NASTY!  I mean, sure, Daddy Salvatore was a TOTAL PRICK, no question.  But drinking the guy who gave you life, is kind of like drinking yourself .  . .

Stefan returns to Damon, all crazy-eyed and red-haired (not sure when present day Stefan found time in his busy “chewing on people” schedule to get a dye job, but, apparently, he did).  Trailing behind Stefan is a teenage girl, clearly under compulsion.  Stefan tells Damon that they were wrong.  That there is no need to die, not when drinking blood can “take away the pain” of life and “open up whole new worlds” for the Salvatore brothers.  Initially, Damon seems repulsed by his younger brother’s behavior, and hesitant to make the transition.  But, ultimately, his vampire urges take hold of him, and he sucks on (and very likely kills) the teenage girl.

After Damon returns from his “snack,” he angrily vows to make Stefan’s life hell on earth for all eternity.  And, in hindsight, we know that, for a good portion of his undeath, Damon did just that . . .

You just KNEW I’d find SOME WAY to use this picture again, in my recap, didn’t you?

They’re Bringing Sexy Back (from the dead . . .)

So, I’ve got good news and bad news.  Which news do you want first?  The good news?  OK.  Jeremy and Anna?  They are a SUPER HOT COUPLE!  And if their sort-of sex scene and post-coital cuddle wasn’t all of two-seconds long, I would have TOTALLY shown you a Shirtless Jeremy pic from it.  The actor who plays him (Steven R. McQueen) is, after all, 21-years old . . .

In addition to being HOT, Jeremy and Anna were also really sweet together.  Between Anna’s willingness to stand up to her mother, and revisit the slings and arrows of high school, just to spend time with Jeremy; and Jeremy’s sleepy whisper of “Oh, that feels so good,” when Anna lovingly rubbed his face, as the two laid in bed together, I instantly became a Team Jeranna fan! 

So, here’s the bad news:  near the end of the episode, Anna’s mom, Vampire Pearl . . .

 . . . was bludgeoned by a crossbow, shot at her from long range, and instantly killed!  Who killed her, you ask?  Presumably, this CREEPO . . .

 . . . Uncle John (I HATE THIS GUY!), who realized he no longer had any use for Pearl, upon learning that she had given his ancestor’s Magic Vampire Killer Thingy (that nobody knows how to use yet) to Damon.  Just one question:  What happened to Hottie Vampire Harper?

Vampire Pearl’s loyal associate was standing right next to Vampire Anna when she was bludgeoned, but has not been seen or heard from since . . .

Damon and Alaric – The Bromance Continues . . .

This week, Alaric calls his new buddy Damon (LOVE these two together!) to check out a lead he had on the possible whereabouts of his previously-thought-to-be-dead-but-actually-a-vampire wife, Isobel.  Damon immediately agrees to come along.  And although I know that Damon was the one responsible for turning Isobel, my Damon and Elena shipper sense tells me, that Damon went on this “little journey” with the secret hope of helping Elena to find her long lost biological mother.  After all, Alaric’s “ex” and Elena’s “mom” are one in the same person.

“Damon Salvatore is currently out kicking some Serious Vampire Ass for the woman he secretly loves . . . Leave a message.”

When Damon and Alaric arrive at the house initially thought to contain Isobel . . .

 . . . she’s not there.  However, some random Hidey Hole Vamp is!  (And WE thought they were GONE FOR GOOD!)  Upon learning that Random Vampire Henry is somehow connected to Creepy Uncle John, Alaric and Damon KILL HIS BLOODY BUTT for good!  Congratulations to Vampire Henry for winning the Senseless Death Award for the week!  Here’s your trophy . . .

 Teacher (as Damon lovingly calls Alaric) is getting surprisingly good at murdering folks, now, isn’t he?  Once the deed is done, the two engage in a heartwarming personal conversation about the struggles of pining over the “one who got away.”  “Two years pining over the woman who left you, is remarkably healthy, I think,” remarks Damon, self-deprecatingly, having mooned over Vampire Katherine for way over a century now.

Although the two pals end their little road trip empty handed, in the last scene of the episode, Isobel comes out of hiding and confronts Alaric at the local bar.  Seeing as how next week’s episode is entitled “Isobel,” I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen the last of this chick . . .

The Will to Live (and to wear sexy white tees that show of your KILLER arms) . . .

When Stefan wasn’t flashing back to his past, he spent most of the episode, brooding, refusing to drink blood, and flexing those drool-worthy pectoral muscles of his.  Elena, who has been basically living at La Casa de Rich and Awesome with both Salvatores for a few days now  . . . (Threesome anyone?) . . . continually tries to get through to Stefan, and break him out of his funk.  At one point, she even goes as far as to enter the “lion’s den” with the hungry vampire, putting her life at risk.  But Stefan, feeling incredibly guilty for his recent behavior, and for the part he played in making Damon become a vampire, wants to die, as he feels he should have done all those years ago.  During the episode’s climax, Stefan escapes his cage, leaving his “I can be in sunlight without rotting” ring on the floor by his prison cot.  His plan, of course, is to meet the sun and die at dawn.

“I put up with your crap for 20 episodes, and all I get for it is this UGLY ASS RING?   You could have at least got me something from Tiffany’s . . .”

Having recently heard Stefan’s flashback tale of woe from Damon (BTW E and D have been sharing adorably snarky barbs and smirks with one another ALL NIGHT . . . just saying), Elena instantly knows she can find Stefan at the very spot where he got Damon to eat that teen way back when.  Elena explains to Stefan that she too is no stranger to guilt.   After all, she was the reason her parents were out driving on the night they were both killed in the car accident.  Elena explains to Stefan that she knows he is “good,” and that, together, they can beat his human blood addiction.  Ultimately, Stefan puts back on that UGLY ASS RING, and the two kiss and make up.

With Stefan back to being the “good brother” and Damon’s alone time with Elena over, it is now Damon’s turn to brood.  In the last scene featuring the sexy Salvatore brothers, Damon admits that the REAL reason he hates Stefan is because Katherine chose to “turn” Stefan too.  And now, it seems, once again, that the two brothers are in love with the same girl . . .

Love sucks . . . and so do these guys .  . . literally.

 Can’t wait to sink your teeth into “Isobel?”  Non-spoilerphobes can click the video below to watch stills from next week’s episode, in which Slutty Bad Ass Vampire Isobel seems to be wreaking havoc on Mystic Falls.  The pictures feature, among other things, quite a few photos of Damon Salvatore adorably open-shirted.  So, put your fingers on those “print screen” buttons, ladies . . . 

 

Dr. Bloodsucking Psychopath and Mr. Congeniality – A Recap of The Vampire Diaries “Miss Mystic Falls”

It’s official.  The Vampire Diaries has become my FAVORITE show of this season!  VD continues to amaze and shock me each week, with its sharp writing, solid acting, and unpredictable plot twists (the latter being kind of a big deal for me, because I tend to predict EVERYTHING!)  Not to mention, the writers of The Vampire Diaries continue to dream up new and inventive ways to show off Paul Wesley’s insanely hot arms and Ian Somerhalder’s insanely hot face!

All right, enough of this gushy stuff!  After all, “Miss Mystic Falls” was probably the LEAST warm and fuzzy episode of the entire season!  When promos for the episode suggested the exposure of Stefan’s dark side, they weren’t kidding!  The heretofore “kindler, gentler” Salvatore wasn’t just dark this week, he was downright terrifying!

Kudos to Paul Wesley for genuinely scaring the stuffing out of me tonight.  This guy made Norman Bates look like Mister Rodgers  . . .

So, without further adieu, what do you say, we stop gabbing and BITE into this awesome episode?

A Long Time Ago, We Used to Be Friends . . .

The opening moments of “Miss Mystic Falls” were filled with awkward exchanges and a generalized sentiment of mistrust.  First there was Vampire Anna . . .

 . . . who visited Damon on the pretense of apologizing for the whole “Stefan getting chained up and tortured, two weeks ago” thing.  But really, the whole purpose of the exchange, I THINK, was to let us viewers know that the writers have decided to scrap the whole Hidey Hole Vampires storyline.  (Good Call, VD!)  Anna explains that MOST of the aforementioned vamps skipped down last week, and therefore, could not have been responsible for the recent “blood bank” robbery that is now rocking Mystic Falls.  Damon sees Anna’s speech as the plot device it clearly is, and refuses to accept her apology. YOU GO, BOY!

Dear BFF Elena,

The good news is, I’m back.  The bad news is, I’ve decided to hate your guts . . .

Hugs and kisses!

Bonnie

Back at school, Bonnie, who has been largely MIA of late, runs into Elena in the parking lot.  These two haven’t seen one another since that time when Elena got Bonnie and her Granny to do that spell to seal up the Hidey Hole Vampire Tomb, the performance of which actually ended up killing Poor Granny.  Oh yeah, and it didn’t even work!  The vampires ended up escaping the tomb, anyway.  Insensitive Elena apparently decided to inform Bonnie of this fact, just days after she had to bury her own grandmother!

“What?  Who WOULDN’T want to know that their favorite relative had to die to further along a failed plotline?”

Given all that, I can’t really blame Bonnie for being icy to Elena, or for hating on the Salvatore brothers for the role they played in Granny’s demise.  I CAN, however, blame her for those weird bangs she was rocking during this episode.  Not cute!  Fortunately, for the girls, Caroline . . .

 . . . interrupts this love fest, to inform Elena that both she and Caroline are part of the Mystic Falls Founder’s Day Court, and are to compete in the “Miss Mystic Falls” pageant this year.  Elena had completely forgotten about the event, having only signed up for it to please her now-dead adoptive Mommy.

Meanwhile, Creepy Uncle John . . .

 . . . blackmails Damon.  Telling him that he will expose the Salvatore brothers as vampires UNLESS Damon agrees to help Creepy Uncle John find some weird ” invention” that a vampire stole from his ancestor, back during Civil War times.  Who stole the “invention,” you ask?  Vampire Pearl, of course!

As if poor Damon wasn’t having a crappy enough day, he returns home to find Stefan (despite his claims of being clean) leaning ravenously over an entire freezer, filled with blood stolen from the local blood bank!  Not cool!  Stefan, of course, promises Damon that he has everything “under control.”  However, when Elena calls to ask him to act as her escort for the pageant, he blatantly lies to her about his “drinking” — a very un-Stefan like thing to do.  Later, at school, Stefan comes very close to eating a teen with a bloody knee, and even attacks Alaric . . .

 . . . when the latter accidentally gets in his way.

The Thrill of Almost Touching, The Agony of Almost Eating . . .

Moments before the Mystic Falls pageant is set to begin, Damon, who has become convinced that Stefan’s new addiction will put them all at risk, informs Elena that Stefan is still consuming human blood.  When Stefan arrives on the scene, Elena confronts him about his lies.  Stefan responds by getting all pissy and wall-punchy . . . He then runs away, like a little bitch, leaving Elena to fend for herself during the pageant ceremonies . . .

“So, I’ve been behaving like a TOTAL ASS throughout this entire episode.  So, what?   I still look super sexy with my shirt off.  And NO ONE can take that away from me!”

When it comes time for Elena to be escorted at the pageant, Damon jumps in at the last minute to be her Knight and Shining Vampire.  And even though we all knew that this was going to happen, from watching the previews, I’m quite certain that the entire female VD watching population SQUEALED with joy when he appeared at the end of that staircase. 

Stefan’s bad behavior these past few episodes, has only further illustrated how much of a better match Damon is for Elena.  Need more proof?  Just check out the sultry and longing looks these two give one another during the “first dance” A.K.A “the prey circling, animal mating ritual.”  When Elena performs this “ritual” with Stefan during rehearsals, it seems stiff and awkward.  With Damon, it is PURE SEX!

“What?  Did you think I WASN’T going to find some excuse to include this picture in my recap AGAIN?  You clearly don’t know me at all . . .”

Despite all this sexiness, Elena actually DIDN’T become Miss Mystic Falls.  Caroline did .  . .

 . . . which was nice, because she CLEARLY wanted it so much more than Elena did.  However, it makes me worried for her, because Elena usually beats her at everything. 

Have you ever had someone who was always really nasty to you, and then, all the sudden, they started acting really nice?  So, you figured you must be DYING of some disease you didn’t know about, because that would be the ONLY way to rationally explain this person’s sudden change in behavior?   This is kind of how I think Caroline should feel about the world . . .  Seeing as VD is set to have two additional major deaths prior to the conclusion of Season 1, if I were Caroline, I would be getting myself on that All-Vervain diet, STAT!

Back in Whiny Bitch Land, Hungry Stefan is still brooding over his recent fight with Elena, when he encounters, pageant contestant, Amber, innocently catching some air.  Stefan forcefully drags Amber into the woods with him.  He then compels her to stand still and act blissfully calm, as he describes, emotionlessly, and in graphic detail, his overwhelming desire to rip her neck open and devour her whole .  . . 

Awww!  How Sweet!

 . . . and I’m thinking, “This is Stefan!  He’s not ACTUALLY going to bite her.” 

Stefan then compels Amber to run, and she does.  And I think, “Phew!”

But then . . . Stefan does his fast Running Man Vampire thing, and HE BITES HER!  Not just a little, either.  Stefan bites Amber right on her carotid artery.  You know . . . that part of your neck, which, if it bleeds, makes you . . . like . . . DIE . . . and stuff.  Fortunately, it’s DAMON TO THE RESCUE!

UNFORTUNATELY, Stefan throws Damon INTO A TREE and KNOCKS HIM OUT!  But then Bonnie appears, out of no where, and does that creepy, possessed, eyes-rolled-back in her head thing, she likes to do, every once in a while, on this show.  Suddenly, Stefan gets this really bad headache (from looking at Bonnie’s bad bangs?).  So, he lets go of Amber, in search of some Vampire-Sized Advil . . .

Later that evening, Stefan and Elena fight over his addiction, and Stefan THROWS ELENA AGAINST A WALL!  Elena hugs Stefan, telling him that everything is going to be all right. And, just when I’m thinking I’ve walked in on a “Bad After-School Special About an Abusive Relationships” . . .

 . . .Elena STABS STEFAN IN THE BACK!!!!! 

Then Damon magically appears. 

He helps Elena carry an unconscious, and, slightly evil, Stefan (who, I hate to say it, STILL looks kind of sexy, wearing that now, appropriately-titled, “wife beater”) . . .

 . . . into a sort of “holding pen,” where they will undoubtedly attempt to force him into Human Blood Withdrawal.  (Poor Stefan!  Always tied up or incarcerated, it seems . . . both in the books and on TV).  Damon offers to take Elena home, but she refuses.  In the final moments of the episode, the pair sit together in silence, forced to endure the suffering of the man they both love . . .

In Other News . . .

1) Jeremy reconnected with Anna (and, like Bonnie, got a kind of sucky-looking 90’s era haircut . . )

2) Pearl and Damon teamed up against Creepy Uncle John (hereinafter “CUJ”).  To cement their bond, Pearl handed over to Damon the “invention”  CUJ was looking for.  Surprise, surprise!   It appears to be YET ANOTHER magical piece of jewelry . . . The only difference here, is that no one has any clue what this one is actually supposed to DO!

That’s all for now, VDers!  Tune in next week, when Elena and Damon become overwhelmed with passion for one another and start making out hardcore on the staircase of the Salvatore home. 

OK, OK, I’m lying . . . for NOW . . . but IT’S COMING.  I CAN FEEL IT!